All language subtitles for Cheers - 802 - The Improbable Dream (Part 2)

(Male narrator)
cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.

Hail, fellows.
I bring ye joyful news.

Judging from
the unusual movements of
our little child-to-be,

it would appear that
the birth of a cranelet
is imminent.

Give or take a month.

Oh, feel that, dadders.
I think it was an elbow.

Hello, little elbow.

Wait, wait, wait.

Now you can actually, uh,
feel the little kid in there?
Mmm-hmm.

You don't mean to tell me
that in the myriad of times
carla's been pregnant,

you've never felt
her babies move?

Hey, no guy touches my belly
unless he's paying for dinner.

Lilith, might the boys
have the privilege
of experience

this divine movement
within you?

Oh, certainly.
Put your hands here.

There,
did you feel that?

Nah, i--i didn't
feel anything.

I think
i heard him move.

No, no, that was
my stomach grumbling.

I haven't had a bite
since breakfast.

Hey, i think
your stomach just moved.

Hey, guys, check this out.
You can really feel this.

Hmm.

Feels like a big wave
in there, doesn't it?

Oh, hey, now that
felt like an elbow.

¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶

¶ takes everything
you've got ¶

¶ taking a break
from all your worries ¶

¶ sure would help a lot

¶ wouldn't you like
to get away ¶

¶ sometimes you want to go

¶ where everybody
knows your name ¶

¶ and they're always
glad you came ¶

¶ you wanna be
where you can see ¶

¶ our troubles
are all the same ¶

¶ you wanna be
where everybody
knows your name ¶

¶ you wanna go
where people know ¶

¶ people are all the same

¶ you wanna go
where everybody
knows your name ¶

(male narrator)
last week on cheers...

if it ever,
ever got out

that i have been having
sex dreams all week
about sam,

i could never,
ever show my face
in this bar again.

Well, fear not.

You have confided
in professionals.

Your trust is sacred.

Thank you.

I hate you
for being in my dreams!

I hate my dreams!

I hate myself
for dreaming!

All right, then smack yourself
for a while.

So, come on,
tell the truth.

Isn't this better
than waiting around

for some mr. Wonderful
to come walking
through the door, huh?

[Knocking on door]

oh, sorry to interrupt.

I'm looking for
rebecca howe.

Huh?

Robin colcord.

Yes, as a matter of fact,
i am.

[Grunts]

um, have i caught you
at a bad time?

No, you caught me
just in time.

Excuse me.
Listen, uh...

hi, sam malone here.

Would you do me a favor,
and come back in
about an hour?

We're about to close
a very important deal here.

Oh, yes.
I beg your pardon.

No, no.
Please come in.

Sam and i can
resume negotiations

momentarily.

Yes. I'll just take
a few minutes.

You know robin colcord.

Colcord investment,

colcord foundation
of the arts,

colcord plaza
on 5th avenue.

Oh, really? Small world.

I used to date a secretary
who worked there.

Do you know a small blonde
named angela?

I don't remember
her last name.

I'm sorry.
You'll have to be
more specific.

Looks great
in black boots.

She sounds like
one of ours.

Yes, well,
anyway, miss howe,

i'm here because
i've received
several of your letters.

I don't believe
they got to you.

Oh, well,
i have a male secretary

who, uh, likes the pictures
of yourself you enclosed,

and i appreciate
your business sense.

Really?
Oh, yes.

Howard was
especially enamored of

the shot of you in
the formfitting business suit

licking an envelope.

No, no. I meant
the business sense part.

Oh, yes, regarding
my south end property.

Uh, i wouldn't mind
having one of
those licking pictures.

Yes, it's, um,
it's quite tastefully done.

Oh, well, uh, never mind then.

Does grenadine stain?

Try soaking it
in club soda.

Oh, no, oh, jeez,
it's in my hair.

I can't believe this.

Look at that,
it's in my hair.

I hate this.

I'll be right back.

I bet it gets all spiky.

Anyway, miss howe,
i'm much obliged to you
for your suggestion

that i unload
the south end property

before the market price
bottomed out.

Thanks to you,
i stand to turn
quite a nifty little profit.

You took my advice.
Well, actually,
miss howe, no.

To sell when
the land values
are so depressed

might be considered,
uh, insane,

so i've, um,
done just the opposite.

I'm developing the land

as an exclusive,
urban complex.

It's quite similar to
something i've done

on the upper west side
of manhattan.

May i use your desk?

Oh, please.

Well, you see, first,
we bulldoze the land...

oh!

Did i startle you?

Yes, but i like it.

Whoops,
missed something.

Yes, well,
thank you.

Now, here, we put our
championship golf course,

and here,
here and here,

high-rise condominiums
overlooking the golf course

and the artificial lake.

Well, something has to serve
as an ice rink in the winters.

It's beautiful.

And just there,
that spot of perspiration
where your hand was,

that's the performing
arts center.

[Knocking on door]

uh, mr. Colcord, it's time.

Oh, yes.
Thank you, miles.

Uh, i do seem to have
made a bit of a mess here.

Miles, would you get someone
to clean this up?

In fact, i'd like to
buy you another one.

Oh, it's just
an old blotter.

No, i meant the desk.

Ok.

I'll see to it, sir.

Thank you.

Well, i want to thank you
for drawing my attention

to south end,
and, um, i owe you dinner.

I love dinner.

Unfortunately, at this moment
i'm heading out to
beverly hills.

I love beverly hills.

I do realize this is
a bit sudden, but, uh,

would you care to join me?

No, i didn't mean it
like that.

I meant,
i love beverly hills
in general,

i didn't mean

"to whisk me away
on your private jet."

You do have a private jet,
don't you?

Oh, yes.

I wouldn't even know
what to wear,

if someone took me to
dinner in beverly hills.

I have credit lines
up and down rodeo.

It would be my pleasure
to outfit you.

That is,
if you don't mind shopping.

I love shopping.

This is great, sammy.

Uh, what time
you open tomorrow?

I'll bring
my laundry, huh?

Believe it or not,

some people care
about their appearance.

I could take that
as an insult, you know.

If i cared about
my appearance.

I'm sure miles has brought
the car around.

[Gasps]

he's sure
miles has brought
the car around.

Well, that spot's better.

Anybody, uh, anybody see if
that english guy left yet?

Oh, he just took off.

Oh, yeah? All right.

Fellas, fellas,
here we go.

Now remember,
nobody opens this door

even if you hear screaming.

Especially if
you hear screaming.

(Sam)
rebecca.

Rebecca?

Rebecca?

Hey, woodpile,
what are you up to there?

I'm makin' a map
of all the places

mr. Colcord's
taken miss howe
over the past 3 days.

Every one of
these beer nuts represents

a major city
on the west coast.

Of course,
it was more authentic

before mr. Peterson
accidentally ate la jolla.

Uh, here comes sammy.

Hide the map, woody.
I'll hide the cities.

Hey, woody,
what you got there?

Nothin'. Nothin'.

If you think
it's some map

of all the fun places
miss howe's gone
with that rich guy,

you're way
off the beam.

Woody.

It was bound to come out.

He'd smell
the whole west coast
on your breath, mr. Peterson.

Guys, guys, guys. Come on,
you can talk about rebecca
having a good time

all you want.
It's no skin off my nose.

Are you sure
you aren't still repressing?

You know, just, uh, a bit.

All right,
maybe a little bit.

I mean, it doesn't seem fair.
Does it?

I spent 3 years

loosening the cap on
that peanut butter jar,

and right now,
she's--she's sticking to

the roof of
somebody else's mouth.

Forget about it, sammy,
she's yesterday's news.

(Sam)
and here comes
today's edition. Hah!

Look at those headlines.

Oh, excuse me, fellas.

Whoa, whoa, who raised
that bar on me?

You've got to admire
the way sammy bounces back.

He's still repressing
his feelings, you know.

How come i can't repress mine
with a girl like that?

Hello, everybody.
I'm back.

Notice anything new?

Wow, that is fantastic.

Thank you.

When you're done out there,
can you come sweep up
behind the bar?

Carla, carla, carla.

Even your bitter,
little east coast jokes

bounce right off
my back today.

Robin colcord
has just shown me

the most fabulous
3 days of my life.

Uh, you look great,
miss howe.

Well, i should.

I spent all yesterday
having a complete makeover.

Feel. It's the skin
of the rich.

Wow. Makes a baby's butt
feel like sandpaper.

I know. I know.

I'm a beautiful,
beautiful girl.

I feel so happy.

I feel like
getting together

with my girlfriends
and gabbing.

Carla,
you want to gab?
No.

You have to.
I'm your boss,

and we're gonna talk about
my new, rich boyfriend.

So what do you
think of him?

Men are pigs.

Nice gabbing
with you, carla.

Hey, where's sam?

Uh, i think he's in
the pool room.

Carla, did he seem upset
about anything
while i was gone?

Oh, yeah. I don't know
when he'll get over it.

Hey, listen,
don't worry about it.

It's chalk dust.
It'll come off.

You sure?
Oh, yeah, yeah.

She's nice.

Well, hey,
look who's back.

My god,
you look fantastic.

I wanted to apologize to you

for running out on you
like i did.

Oh, yeah, that.

Well, uh, that was
kind of sudden, but, uh,

we all managed around here.
And i just hope you had
a good time.

No, sam, i mean because
you and i were
about ready to...

oh, yeah.
And then we didn't.

Well, that's nothing
to feel sorry for.

No, please, sam,
accept my apology.

Well, it's no big deal.

Please accept my apology.

For me.
I will.

For you.
Well, don't do it for me,
do it for you.

I don't care.

Thank you for ruining
a perfectly wonderful day.
No.

If it means that much,
then apologize.

Oh, i bet
you'd love that.

How many do you
have to score with

before you understand
just one?

Sam, i need to
talk to you.

Oh, what's up?

Well, it's a personal thing

about my relationship
with robin.

I haven't told anybody,

but i need somebody
to talk to.

Oh, no. He--he's married,
isn't he?

No.

Gay?
No, no, no.

Well, what is it?
You can tell me.

All right.

I--i think
it has something
to do with this.

[Gasping]

i hope that was a dream.

Then all of a sudden,

she reaches down
to her neck,

and she peels off
her face,

and there's al, here.

And i woke up
in a cold sweat.

So you never did get to
finish the dream?

No. I was awake
by then,

so i switched on
movies till dawn.

They were showing
that one with buddy hackett
and the ducks,

so, of course i was up for
the rest of the night then.

So, uh, sam,
do you remember

anything else
about the dream?

(Sam)
oh, that was
the eeriest thing.

I mean, it was real,
you know, vivid,
like your...

like real life.

Sammy, that's
a premonition dream.

That means
it's really gonna happen.

Oh, carla,
that's an old wives' tale.

I'm an old wife.

I know about
these things.

Rebecca is gonna tell
sammy that something
ain't right

between her
and daddy-big-bucks.

Really?
Yeah.

Wow.

Oh, please.

Well, now, carla may have
a point there.

Excuse me, while i
was blinking, did we all
just suddenly time travel

back to the age
of the druids?

I'm not saying
the dream was psychic.

But perhaps
your subconscious mind

has observed
something subtle

between rebecca
and robin colcord

that disturbs you.

Well, i know how
to find out right now.

Sammy, give me some of
your fingernail clippings.

I'll have madame mazora
burn them and inhale them

while she's in a trance.

Oh, take lilith along.

The 3 of you
can gather round
the kettle and stir.

Well, doctor,

with regards to
dream analysis,

what do your 2 less years
of schooling tell you?

Modern dream theory
suggests, sam,

that dreams are not
what they seem
to be about at all,

but rather about
the dreamer himself.

You have not
been dreaming about

rebecca howe
and robin colcord,

you've been dreaming about
sam malone.

[Scoffs]

wait a minute.
Then why was it
so scary?

Well,
perhaps your dreams

are trying to tell you
about something

too frightening
for your waking life.

(Sam)
like what?

Well, like you care.

You care about rebecca.

Oh, come on, frasier,
you know me.

How--how can i care
about her?

We haven't done
the main thing
i care about.

Forgive me, sam.

I forgot about
your high moral standards.

You mean to say
that you can't care
about a woman

unless you sleep
with her first?

Well, yeah.

I got this, kind of, uh,
you know, caring mechanism

that only gets switched on

by a naked trip
to the love zoo.

You're kidding?

Well, all right,
it don't always get
switched on,

i mean, sometimes
i go to bed with a babe

and find out i don't care,
but by then, who cares?

Lovely.

Oh, come on, lilith,
don't get me wrong.

If i do care,
i'm as loyal as a dog.

"Dog" would be
the right term, yes.

Hah!

Care about rebecca.

[Scoffs]

hey, sam, you know,

norm and i've been
talking here
and we've come up with, uh,

with a third possible
interpretation
of that dream.

Yeah, what's that?

You don't want rebecca,
you want al.

I think we can
safely rule
that one out.

Amen.

(Cliff)
hey!

Sorry. Sorry.

Sammy, what is the matter
with you?

You almost hit cliff.
I'm sorry.

Yeah, if you'd just put
a little bit more
top spin on it,

you'd have had him.

Carla, i think
i care about rebecca.

Kill me right now, sam.

Just drive this pool cue
right through my heart.

Do you know how many years
it has taken me

to get over
that horrible thing
you had with...

with--
diane.

Shut up, shut up, please!

I beg you,
don't do this to me again!

Hey, i don't like it
any more than you do.

But there it is.

It's all right, sam.

It's gonna be ok.

At least
you've taken the first step.

Admitting you have
the problem is half the cure.

What am i gonna do?

We'll move to vegas,

and i'll be
your love slave.

Don't worry. I--i'll be ok.

You're not gonna mope,
are you?

No, no. I'll be ok.

I'll get over it.
I'll be fine.

Oh, the moper's anthem.

Look, sammy,
forget about her.

I mean even if you do,
gag, care for her,

it's too late.

Oh, i know, i mean,
i can't compete with that guy.

He's the first man
she's gone to bed with
in 3 years.

She's gonna think
he invented sex.

That's right.

Look, you've given it
your best shot.

Now just get on
with your life.

No but see that's it,
i haven't really
given it my best shot.

I mean, yeah,
i flirted with her

and i had her
up against the wall
a couple of times,

but i never really
walked up and said,

"rebecca, i care."

Please, sam, i just ate.

Maybe that's what
she's waiting for.

Maybe she's waiting
for some guy

to come up and say,
"i care."

Well, i could do that.
I think.

Yeah, i--i care.

I--i care.

How does that sound?
I don't know,

it was drowned out by
the sound of
my flesh crawling.

I'll tell you,
that--that english guy
doesn't care for her.

I'll tell you that,
i mean she's just
another fling to him.

But that's the advantage
i have, i can walk
right up to her and say--

don't say it again!

Look, if you're gonna do it,
just shut up and do it.

Ok? Get it over with.

If we're lucky,
she'll just say buzz off,

and if by some remote,
unlikely chance

she cares back,

just don't even bother
to chalk it up,

put it right through
my heart.

Yeah. Thank you.
Thank you, carla.

Ok. Yeah.
All right.

Men aren't pigs.

Pigs are smarter.

And, uh,
this is frank's design
for the main tower.

Oh, it's just beautiful.

And, um, since i have you
to thank for it,

i have you
to thank for it.

[Gasps]

it's the same building
on a necklace.

And all the windows
are diamonds.

And there are
so many windows.

Oh!

Oh, you're welcome.

Now, i'll call you
when i get back
from zurich.

Will you miss me?

I'll fax you
every day.

Oh.

Oh.
Oh.

Excuse me.
Hello, sam.

I see the grenadine
came out nicely.

Uh, no, actually,
this is, uh, a new shirt,

it just looks like
the old one.

Yes. That's, um,
uh, very clever.

Did you want
something, sam?

Uh,

yes. I, uh,

[exclaims]

there's something
i want to tell you, um...

uh, i'm sorry i haven't
told you this sooner,

but i haven't realized this
myself until just now,

and if i don't
tell you now,

i may miss
the opportunity.

[Knock on door]
sweetheart--

oh, uh, rebecca,

i just wanted to tell you
that i care for you

very, very deeply.

[Exclaiming]

that guy.

Do you know
how long i waited

to hear someone
say that?

Oh, i'm sorry, sam.
Did--did...

you wanted to say
something to me.

Yes, um,

we're out of beer nuts,

and i'm sorry that
i didn't tell you sooner.

Uh, if i had,
maybe we'd have beer nuts.

Oh, isn't he wonderful?

You know, i didn't think
men like him still existed.

I mean, he can care
about a woman

even when
he hasn't gone to...

gone to what?

Nothing.

You two haven't gone to...

paris or taiwan,

or any other place
where young lovers go.

You two haven't
gone to bed together.

We have, too.
Many, many times,

and it was fantastic.

We moved the earth.

Really?

His wooden leg
didn't bother you?

He has a wooden leg?

I knew it! I knew!

[Exclaiming]

i can't believe this,
you didn't go
to bed together.

Why not?

What's wrong?
Is--is he married?
No.

Is he gay?
No.

You're not going
to peel your face off,
are you?

I can't believe this.

Of course,
i know why you didn't
go to bed with him.

Because everytime you're with
mr. Wonderful,
you're thinking,

"i should really be
with my dream man."

Me.

Wrong! The timing
just wasn't right.

Yeah, because of me.
No, because of circumstance.

Circumstances named me.

Shut up.
Me.

Not you.
Not him.

All right, if you wanna
know why, mr. Smarty pants...

you know, isn't it funny how
whenever you think of me,

the word "pants"
pops out of your mouth?

¶ Me, me, me,
me, me, me ¶

¶ me, me, me,
me, me, me ¶

i did not go to bed
with robin colcord

for a very good reason.

Me.
No, me!

Me because i haven't
been to bed with a man
in so long,

that it will probably
be so crummy,

that he'll leave me!

And then i'll be stuck
right back where i was.

If memory serves me,
that would be with...

¶ me, me, me, me, me, me
get out!

[Sighing]

[knocking on door]

what do you want now, bozo?

I've--

i'm sorry, woody.
I thought you
were somebody else.

I have a message for you
miss howe, but i'm not
quite sure what it means.

What is it?

¶ Me, me, me,
me, me, me ¶