Original subtitles

Listen, my people in Hong Kong, they won't wait much longer.

You need new talent.

I might have just what you're lookin' for.

♪ Ah ha ha ah ha ha Gloria

'It's simply fabulous.'

And then soon it will be ours.

Pocket bikes? What are they?

Hot stuff. Incredibly small power cycles.

Something's going down, sarge. I can feel it.

There's gotta be better duties for us, Ponch.

This is cadet work.

Hey, hot dog, a duty's a duty.

'Hello, California! How's everybody feeling this morning?'

Come back here, you.

Come on, I'm gonna sing for you this morning.

Come on in!

We got a little eye-opener for you this morning!

And on the bass, we have Dee Dee!

On keyboards, Louise!

And I'm Sarah.

And we are..

The Cadillac Foxes!

♪ Gloria

♪ You're always on the run now ♪

♪ Runnin' after somebody

♪ You gotta get him somehow

♪ I think you got to slow down

♪ Before you start to blow it

♪ I think you're headed

♪ For a breakdown

♪ So be careful not to show it ♪

♪ You really don't remember

♪ Was it something that he said ♪

♪ All the voices in your head

♪ Calling Gloria-a-a

♪ Gloria

♪ Don't you think you're fallin' ♪

♪ If everybody wants you

♪ Why isn't anybody callin'

♪ You don't have to answer

♪ Leave 'em hangin' on the line oh oh ♪

♪ Calling Gloria-a-a

♪ Gloria ♪ Gloria

♪ I think they got your number ♪ Gloria

♪ I think they got the alias ♪ Gloria

♪ That you been livin' under ♪ Gloria

♪ But you really don't remember ♪

♪ Was it something that they said ♪

♪ All the voices in your head ♪

♪ Calling Gloria-a-a

♪ Ah ha ha ah ha ha Gloria

♪ How's it gonna go down

♪ Will you meet him on the main line ♪

♪ Or will you catch him on the rebound ♪

♪ Will you marry for the money ♪

♪ Take a lover in the afternoon ♪

♪ Feel your innocence slippin' away ♪

♪ Don't believe it's comin' back soon ♪

♪ And you really don't remember ♪

♪ Was it something that he said ♪

♪ All the voices in your head

♪ Calling Gloria-a-a

♪ Gloria

♪ Don't you think you've fallen ♪

♪ If everybody wants you

♪ Why isn't anybody callin'

♪ You don't have to answer

♪ Leave 'em hangin' on the line oh oh.. ♪

Vandalism strikes again.

Maybe not.

Your everyday vandal would have just cut the wires.

Yeah, you're right, but these have been

disconnected and crossed.

Somebody sure went to a lot of trouble.

♪ Why isn't anybody callin'

♪ You don't have to answer..

♪ Leave 'em hangin' on the line oh oh ♪

♪ Calling Gloria-a-a

♪ Gloria ♪ Gloria

♪ I think they got your number ♪ Gloria

♪ I think they got the alias.. ♪♪

Hey!

Hey!

Police! Hey, these guys are stealing my truck!

Police! Hey, help me!

These two guys, they, uh, I was making this delivery

and they just got in my van..

Let's roll, now!

It's the heat, Mr. DeJardine!

I've got it here, so we just get them on to the main road.

I've got an idea how to lose them.

I'll cut through the mall.

LA-15, Mary-6 and 7

we have an 11-82 at Oak and Vine.

They're right on our tail, Mr. DeJardine.

Just keep moving.

Call an ambulance and get some help for these people.

LA-15..

Oh, you really took care of them, Mr. DeJardine!

- That was great! - That was unnecessary.

Now get back on Lincoln, and drop me off as-as planned.

Look, I'm sorry about the horn, alright?

It's just that, uh..

...this is my first time wheeling for

a world-class jewel thief like yourself.

Now, I don't wanna pry, but, uh..

...what did we just steal?

I don't get it.

Neither will the police.

Sarge, there's something goin' down.

We just like to go back there and talk to these girls.

They might have gotten a good look at van's driver!

By the girls, do you mean The Cadillac Foxes

who were rock 'n' rolling in

a pink convertible in the street?

Oh, I can imagine what this follow-up is all about.

Sarge, the van nearly creamed them.

They had to have seen them.

Oh...they're vital to the case, huh?

Absolutely.

Sarge, they are!

Frank, you and Officer Nelson

you talked to the van's driver, you've written your report.

Now you're gonna go on patrol in west LA

because that's your assignment.

Sarge, there's too many coincidences.

Read between the lines!

A signal light is taken out to create a traffic jam

to slow down pursuit.

A phony delivery to a vacant alley address.

And then the van turns up, abandoned and half full.

- It all adds up! - To a stolen vehicle.

One of which is stolen every 29 seconds in The United States.

Ponch, I got the inventory list from the delivery company.

- Interesting.

Two pocket bikes that were being delivered

to a test institute, they're unaccounted for.

What are they? - 'Hot stuff.'

Incredibly small power cycles. Super maneuverable.

Something's going down, sarge. I can feel it.

Alright. Alright.

You've got your investigation, but I want results.

You got it!

Excuse me.

- Hey, lookin' sharp, Grossie.

What's with the suit?

Oh, you're not gonna believe this

but this afternoon, I'm gonna audition as a contestant

on "The Million Dollar Question" quiz show.

Alright! You're a natural, guy!

You know everything.

Here's my trivia book, Grossie.

Oh, great.

Just hope he remembers us

when he becomes a millionaire.

- See you guys later. - Alright.

The million dollar question for us right now

is finding The Cadillac Foxes.

I'm ready for it.

♪ You've gotta get it somehow

♪ I think you got ♪

Terrific. Really, really super.

I really like it.

The lead vocals, especially. They're really hot.

Oh, that's me.

- Great pipes. - Thank you.

I know. I was a singer myself.

- Yeah.

Here he comes now. Shh.

Well, hello, dolls, the king has arrived!

Mr. King. Mr. King. We'd like to--

Mr. King, we'd like a chance to audition for you.

We're The Cadillac Foxes.

Um, why don't you listen to our tape here?

Cadillac foxes? Is that the name of the group?

Never heard of you. Come on.

I can't afford to book untried bands, right?

Ho, ho, ho, ladies! Sweetheart!

Little PMA. Know what that is?

It's called positive mental attitude.

'You gotta keep your sunny side up.'

Hey, listen, we're not untried, okay?

We've played all over town.

Here's a tape of us live at the Purple Grill.

♪ Before you start to blow it

♪ I think you're headed for a breakdown.. ♪

Not bad.

♪ So be careful not to show it ♪

♪ You really don't remember

♪ Was it something.. ♪

I'll be right back, alright?

Y'all look good too.

Actually, it's us live outside the Purple Grill.

We've been playing on the streets.

We really need a break.

That's okay. We'll see, okay?

Hey! How you doin', huh?

Hey, sorry those girls didn't work out, but, uh..

...you know, What could I do?

I don't think you're trying very hard, Jerry.

Well, I'll, keep lookin'.

Yeah, well, you better.

I mean, if you wanna keep runnin' this club.

Got obligations, Jerry.

See, my people in Hong Kong

they won't wait much longer.

You need new talent.

I know.

Hey, you know what?

I might have just what you're lookin' for, huh.

Times three. Let me see if I can work it out.

Okay?

Hey, come on.

Alright, now, ladies, the king is workin' here.

The king is workin', have you ever done any swimming?

Uh, done traveling, anything like that?

What's the name of your group again?

The Cadillac Foxes.

I think I just booked them to Hong Kong.

Oh, my god! I knew it! I knew it!

You ever been there?

- Don't do it, Jerry!

Girl, I thought you were our friend!

Jerry, come on, please, don't do it!

Listen, we're dying to work, okay? Come on.

You ever been to Hong Kong?

Tell us more! Tell us more!

Never been there, huh?

- Tell us more! - It's a whole tour.

Taipei, Hong Kong, Thailand..

'All the guys are this small.'

You're drivin' like you know where you're goin', Ponch.

Hey, Bobby, I'm an experienced investigator.

Basics say go back to the scene of the crime.

But they'll never still be there.

It's the place to start.

It's not like you're just gonna see 'em runnin' down the street.

Stop! Excuse me!

Hey, stop!

So much for basics.

Stop, you thief.

Wait a minute!

Hey, you!

Stop!

Stop. Stop.

Officer, that's our car!

He's stealing our wheels, officer!

You're not gonna let him take it, are you?

We'll straighten it out.

It was illegally parked in a tow-away zone, officer.

It was not parked. It was stuck!

- We just need a charge. - Our battery's dead.

I guess we shouldn't have plugged our guitars into it.

Listen, do you remember that delivery van this morning?

Did you get a good look at the driver?

Does Elvis rock?

We'd like you to help us ID him.

Oh, boy. You sure know how to ruin a girl's day.

Listen, we got a whole ton of shopping to do.

And practicing!

And we're leaving for Hong Kong this week.

What am I gonna do, officer? I got other calls.

Tow it to CHP central and take them with you.

- 'Don't worry.'

You need your car, right?

Well, we'll take you down to the central garage

charge it up, and you can come inside and help us out.

Is that a fair deal?

Hey, I like this guy.

Wanna be our manager?

Do I get to sing with you too?

If you can cut it.

It's simply fabulous.

And soon it will be ours.

Fifty five seconds on the nose, Mr. DeJardine.

Perfect timing, darling.

Then we transfer to the rolls, and we're home free.

The famous DeJardines.

Say, Mr. DeJardine, if you're through with me

I'd like to split.

Fine. But, uh..

...be at this address at 9 a.m. Sharp.

Oh, no sweat.

So hard to find good help these days.

- Okay, let's get the bikes. - Okay.

- 'The eyes are wrong.' - Yeah, they were tougher.

- Yeah, darker, sexier.

But not as hot as yours.

I like soft eyes myself.

Yeah, me too.

Poncherello, I'd like to know

what you think you're doing over there.

Uh, sarge, these are The Cadillac Foxes.

Yeah, well, I kinda thought they were.

How about this guy? It fits.

Yeah, that's him. That's the baddie.

Yeah, but he's missing something.

Uh, Luther 'Sweets' Collier. Small change wheel man.

It fits.

There was at least one other person in that van.

There's brains behind this operation, sarge.

Brains. An organ of the human body

normally weighing between 1.3 and 1.5 kilograms.

'Counting for 2% of total body weight.'

Okay. Inventor of the zipper.

Whitcomb L. Judson.

He's right. Hey, wait!

Is he some kind of android

or just a heavy duty encyclopedia?

Uh, that's Officer Grossman.

He's a contestant on "Million Dollar Question."

Wait, I got it!

He had an earring on his left ear, a little one.

Earring. Like that?

- That's it. That's the baddie. - Yeah, that's him.

- That's him. - You got a good memory, Sarah.

Thanks. Comes from having to remember lyrics.

Ah, if the, uh, Cadillac Foxes are finished

'their pink wonder is ready to go.'

- Thanks, Harlan. - Soon, please!

It's clashing with everything in my garage.

'So listen, uh'

do cops work all night?

- No, we're human. - Uh, very.

Great. 'cause we're playing at The Rockwell tonight.

You just gotta come, Ponch. You can sit in for a number.

Hey, your off hours are your own business

but for now, let's get an APB out on this Collier fellow.

- 'Let's hit the streets.' - 'See you tonight, boys.'

♪ Was it night on the water

♪ When I fell in and drowned

♪ Did anyone see

♪ My body go down

♪ Did he call out

♪ Someone help she can't swim ♪

♪ Or did he just sigh

♪ When I slipped and fell in

♪ I went down

♪ Without a trace

♪ And all I could see was a smile on his face ♪

♪ I fell in

♪ Was I pushed did I fall

♪ But when I went down

♪ I went down

♪ Like a rock

♪ Did anyone jump in

♪ Or climb down the rungs

♪ To catch me and save me

♪ And pump out my lungs

♪ I saw nobody cry on board

♪ Nobody offered a prayer

♪ Did anyone notice

♪ Doesn't anyone care

♪ I went down

♪ Without a trace

♪ And all I could see was a smile on his face ♪

♪ I fell in

♪ Was I pushed did I fall

♪ But when I went down

♪ I went down

♪ Like a rock

'Come on up, Ponch.'

'Come on!'

♪ Was there light on the water

♪ When I fell in and drowned

♪ Did anyone see

♪ My body go down

♪ Did he call out

♪ Someone help she can't swim

♪ Or did he just laugh

♪ When I slipped and fell in

♪ I went down

♪ Without a trace

♪ And all I could see was a smile on his face ♪

♪ I fell in

♪ Was I pushed did I fall

♪ But when I went down

♪ I went down

♪ Like a rock

♪ I went down

♪ Without a trace

♪ And all I could see was a smile on his face ♪

♪ I fell in

♪ Was I pushed did I fall

♪ But when I went down

♪ I went down

♪ I went down

♪ Like a rock

- Alright! - They're good, Jerry.

They're really good and they're nice girls.

Alright, come on, I don't want it any worse than you do

but, you know, if we don't come through, right?

Ackerman's gonna make this place disappear.

Now, come on, you don't want that, sweetie, right?

Hey, now, girl

now that is a fine, smooth set.

Yeah, you're gonna be fine. A little more rehearsing.

- Sure.

Talkin' to the king, the man with the golden ear.

Jerry, I'd like you to meet some friends.

- This is Ponch. - Hey! Poncho!

- That's Bobby. - Bobby.

- And that's Bruce. - Brucie.

Come on, girls. Let me take you for a drink.

Great! Rock 'n' roll needs fuel.

They're a terrific band, Mr. King, you're a lucky man.

Yeah, well, I get a lot of pleasure

breakin' in new acts, you know?

Where are they gonna be playing?

You know The Orient

There's a circuit there, Hong Kong, Taipei, uh..

Well, I don't have their whole itinerary on me.

So if you guys are worried, don't be.

'When are they gonna be back?'

I'm telling you, you know what that is..

...boyfriends' interrogation week or what?

'They're gonna be long gone, you know, a long time.'

I'd suggest you, uh..

...boys get yourselves some new main squeezes.

You have an address where we could write them?

You write to me. I'll forward it.

You be good, huh? Real good.

Hey, I'm tellin' you, now you girls are great!

You know, one thing about being a cop.

Sure is hard to turn it off when you're back in civvies.

Welcome to the patrol.

Something about this guy I just don't like.

Yeah. His handshake..

...for starters.

We're gonna zoom. We're gonna go. We're gonna go. Right?

It's gonna be a beautiful day.

It sure is.

Drive careful, now.

You bet.

LA-15, Mary-11, request backup.

Have felony suspect under surveillance

near Crenshaw and Addison.

'Request code to backup.'

Mary-11, Mary-6 and 7 responding from Saticoy and Addison.

ETA two minutes.

Hey, watch out!

- No, officer.

I'm fine, I'm fine. I always wear my seat belt. I'm fine.

Uh, let's get out of the car.

I'm okay.

Hey, I think we got ourselves Luther 'Sweets' Collier here.

I don't know nothin'.

Ah, sure you do. You could start with the pocket bikes.

Up against the car.

Hands over your head.

Nice goin'.

Hi, darling.

What happened?

What are you doing here with the truck?

Well, our young Mr. Sweets never showed up.

I told you guys a hundred times

I don't know anything about pocket bikes.

- I was in Tijuana yesterday! - No way!

Sweets, we got three witnesses that can identify you.

- Come on!

- You can't touch that! - Hey, relax.

Just come on, come on, relax, alright, I'm not.

Don't you give that dummy anything!

Hey, Bobby, Sweets is a wheel man. Show some respect, will ya?

There.

Go on.

Listen, don't mind my partner.

He's young and impatient. Wants results.

Me? I like to get the whole picture.

I really feel for you, man.

'Forget it. He's finished.'

Yeah, I know he is.

That's why I feel sorry.

Here, have another one.

Oh, no. No. No, thank you.

Go on, take it.

Take 'em all because you're sure not gonna get any if Folsom!

Oh, come on, there's no way I'm gonna go to max!

That's the sad part. You're just the wheel man

but you're gonna do all the time.

While your boss is free.

And he won't even remember your name!

You're probably right about that.

I'm just garbage to them.

To who?

The DeJardines.

- Okay, park the car at 8:00. - Okay.

- Wait till 11:00. - Mm-hmm.

Then get a taxi to the hotel, okay?

Okay.

- I'll be waiting, love. - Okay.

That's the smile of success.

Good cop, bad cop pays off again, sarge.

- It was beautiful.

- DeJardines. - Hey, I'm impressed.

First team all world jewel thieves.

What are they after?

Well, Sweets didn't know much

but he did know it was going down today.

Alright. Let's move on it.

Run a make and distribute it.

Okay, you got it.

Hey, Kathy!

Did you do that confidential check for me on Jerry King?

I did it for you and I did it for your partner

and your partner's brother

so it's hardly confidential anymore.

'Ask Bruce.'

Well, how's it goin', guys?

Brothers Butinski.

But aren't you glad we did?

A lot of dirty ink.

He's been arrested for drug trafficking

and selling liquor without a license.

- No.

Still bad news. We gotta work harder.

They leave tonight.

I know it's none of our business

but is there any way we can stop him?

Hey, hold on. How can they leave?

We may still need them as witnesses on the DeJardine case.

Right and if this King guy's for real

he can wait a day or two.

Yeah, what I'd like to know is how

the DeJardines fit in with the pocket bikes.

Somewhere with rare gems.

Rare gems, The five most valuable are diamonds

emeralds, sapphires, rubies, and pearls.

- He got every one. - Come on, guys.

Try me on any category!

Grossman, why don't you get out there on your motor

and try law enforcement?

Sarge, I'm not gonna study the easy ones.

Hey, Grossie, where are the rarest gems

in Los Angeles right now?

Uh, the LA Museum has a very big diamond collection.

'There's The Downtown Diamond Mart.'

Oh, the Moonstone Emerald's on display this weekend at

The Harbor Castle hotel, any Beverly Hills jewelry shop.

You know, which reminds me.

Did you know that jewelry was first invented in the stone age?

Hey, Grossie, that's good enough.

Come on. We'll talk to the girls on the way downtown.

- Hey! Look who's here! - Bobby! Look who's here!

'Whoa!'

- Wait, wait, help us.

What happened, somebody give away the store?

No. Jerry gave us an advance on our first week's salary.

And afterwards, he took us out for Dim sum and Chinese noodles.

I'm so glad you came by.

I wanted to say goodbye to you.

Well, we had an ulterior motive for coming.

We caught Sweets Collier.

We may need you all as witnesses in the next few days.

This is a gag, right?

We're going to Hong Kong tonight!

I'm sure Mr. King will understand. It's a valid reason.

And I was just starting to dig you too.

Ponch, you can't really make us stay, can you?

No. Technically we can't.

But, Sarah, what do you really know about Jerry King anyway?

He's our angel!

But he's got a record.

Do you know how to mind your own business?

Cops!

'Look..'

...I know you really care, I like that.

'I really do!'

But a break like this doesn't come along every day.

I'll send you a post card every week!

Here you go.

Good luck.

Just think, darling.

The Moonstone Emerald is in the room directly above us.

Voila!

Darling, you better get dressed. We're on a timetable.

Bernard, I know and I know how well you've planned this

whole thing out, but I still don't like

the fact that Mr. Sweets has disappeared.

Sweets knows nothing, love.

And we..

...we will be long gone

before the police even stumble into this.

Darling, I have married a genius!

Thank you. I appreciate your concern.

But this show has been carefully planned

with security in mind.

I like to think we're theft proof.

We're on the top floor and when that jewel case is broken

a pressure plate alarm goes off, locking the elevator door.

The guards in the lobby have been alerted.

Now, please.

Times are tough.

Even for the rich.

So much for Grossie's list.

Well, we still gotta hit the museums.

The DeJardines. We better get back up.

No, we better get out and use the stairs.

The elevator will lock.

On your faces. Hands behind your head.

Let's move.

We lost them again.

Let's check out this truck.

It must have been set here on purpose.

Yeah, that's for sure.

This guy's smart.

Maybe not so smart.

What should we drink to, darling?

To a safe passage home

and to the glorious, well earned vacation.

Are we expecting anyone?

Definitely not.

Well, if it's the neighbor, darling, will you get some ice?

This is hardly chilled.

Good morning, Mr. DeJardine. I've been lookin' for you.

Who is it, darling?

The police! Run!

I'll take this. Thank you.

Well, my dear, I believe we've been caught.

Couldn't you at least have been the FBI?

California Highway Patrol.

Now, how did you, of all people, catch us?

Always pay attention to your parking ticket.

Ponch, Bobby!

What's wrong? I just heard from Webster.

The captain's waiting to congratulate us personally.

I just spoke to a motorcycle buddy of mine in Hong Kong.

- He knows about Jerry King.

'He's running with a bad crowd.'

A drug ring, white slavery. The works.

- They're gone.

I checked the airport for reservations.

- It came up blank.

I spoke to King's girlfriend, Darla, but she was no help.

Well, maybe it'll take the personal touch.

Bobby, you do the honors with The DeJardines.

Bruce, you come with me.

- Hello. - Hi.

We're looking for Jerry King.

Oh, gosh, Jerry's out.

Uh, where? We're trying to reach The Cadillac Foxes.

I don't know where he is.

You know what's gonna happen to those girls

when they get to Hong Kong?

- No. - 'Let me guess.'

After a two week gig, their contract ends.

They're broke and discover their ticket

back is only good one way.

'Yeah, but a friend of Jerry King's can always use'

a few desperate girls in a foreign country.

And he supplies them. For a price.

- 'No!'

Look, you don't know the half of it.

You don't know how much you hate yourself for it..

...but you have to survive.

I was one of Ackerman's girls..

...but Jerry came and he took me back.

And he loves me.

And I love him.

How can you?

You don't understand. You don't know him.

He doesn't want to send those girls.

He's in over his head with all the wrong people.

Then, you better help him, lady

and you better help him before it's too late.

Now, how does he get them out of the country?

Ackerman has a boat in the Marina.

He takes them down to Mexico

and..

...from there he flies them out.

Thanks.

♪ Na na na

♪ Na na na..

What are you, crazy?

Where'd you find these broads from?

♪ Na na na.. ♪

Hey, I wonder who those cops are after, man.

I don't believe it!

- It's Ponch! - And Bruce!

What, your boyfriends are cops?

Why

Shut up!

How'd they find out about us?

- Darla. - Stop this car!

- Stop it! - Get off! Crazy broad.

Get out off head of mine.

Hey, take it easy, will ya?

You trying to get us killed or what?

Jerry, take the wheel!

Come on, take it easy!

Take it easy!

Would you take it easy?

'Take it easy.'

Alright.

'Alright, take it easy.'

Alright, alright, we got it, calm down!

Put your hands on your head.

We got a lovely ex-singer named Darla

who signed a nasty complaint against Mr. Ackerman.

How could she do that to me?

Because she loves you, man.

So our big break turns out to be a big bust.

Oh, no.

Our big break was meeting Ponch

'and Bobby and Bruce.'

Hey, thanks.

Thanks.

Sure you don't wanna be our manager?

No, thank you.

Being your friend is excitement enough.

Alright, for $1 million, Artie Grossman

here is your final question.

Selected at random by a computer

the category is law enforcement.

Alright!

Is Grossie lucky or what?

There's no way he can get this wrong!

When a policeman reads the wrongdoer his rights

the wrongdoer receives the guarantees

of the Miranda decision.

'For $1 million'

'name one of the rights'

'guaranteed by the Miranda decision.'

- Alright. - He's got it.

The Miranda decision?

Ha! That's incredible.

I use it ten times a month.

I have it pasted right in here in my workbook.

Time is running, Artie. One of those rights!

You have the right to remain silent!

The right to a counsel!

The right to know that anything you say

can and will be used against you in court!

The right to know if you can't afford an attorney

one will be appointed by the court, Even I know that!

That's incredible.

It-it's so simple, really, uh..

The Miranda decision?

Three seconds, Artie.

Come on, Grossman.

- Grossie! - Come on!

You have the right to, um

be wrong!

Oh!

Grossman!

I'm sorry, Artie.

The right to be wrong? What is that?

The Grossman decision.