Original subtitles

'Good evening, ladies and gentlemen'

'and welcome to the fourth Annual Race of the Rookies.'

'Remember, these are first-year drivers'

'on the western sprint car race circuit.'

'Some of this evening's contestants include'

'Randall Finley from Sarasota, California.'

'And representing Los Angeles, Mr. Frank Poncherello.'

Okay, the important thing to remember

is not to press, alright?

You got four cars ahead of you

and ten laps to pass them.

- 10-4.

This is a beginner's race, so watch out

for the guys behind you.

Thanks, Harlan. I needed that.

Hey, Jon, why am I doing this?

Because it was something you always wanted to do.

- Ah.

'Introducing the official starter'

'for tonight's ten-lap sprint car event for novice drivers'

'representing the Zephyr Battery Corporation'

'former great motion picture star'

'Wayne Cato..'

'...and his famous horse, Zephyr.'

'Zephyr Batteries.'

'They spell horsepower!'

Hey, Jon?

Remember me?

Oh, yeah, sorry.

I was daydreaming about something

Ialways wanted to do.

Okay, gentlemen, let's get 'em started.

Light it up now.

You realize we're about to commit

our very first criminal act?

It's a matter of interpretation.

I suppose.

How do you feel, tensed up? I do.

Of course. It's to be expected.

It's interesting. I didn't think I would be.

You're on a rooftop in the middle of the night.

A totally alien environment.

You're about to become a social outcast.

You're cold. You're hungry.

Your apprehension is totally understandable.

'Alright, driving out there is car number 85'

'it's Frank Poncherello'

'making his move into second place.'

'Yes, the order now is Lucky Edwards'

'Frank Poncherello, and J.C. Freedad.

Hey, we got a hard charger out there!

It's Ponch. What do you think?

Hope he doesn't forget I borrowed that car.

Wow, look at him go!

I'm afraid to watch.

'Frank Poncherello in car number 85'

'appears to be driving into first place.'

'And they're coming down the stretch.'

'It's car number 17, followed by car number..'

I just hope this stupid thing works.

It'll work. It's a question of beam diameter expansion.

How good were our calculations?

That's what we're here to determine.

It's a full house tonight.

It kind of makes a person wonder how much they got in the till.

File that thought for future reference.

Check.

'Frank Poncherello continuing to drive hard.'

'Car number 85 has taken'

'the lead from Lucky Edwards.'

'Yes, it's now car 85..'

- Come on, Ponch! - Come on, Ponch!

'15, Lucky Edwards'

'and car number 18, J.C. Freedad.'

'Continuing to drive hard on the course'

'it's car number 85, Frank Poncherello..'

Okay, it's in the bag. I'll see you later.

- We got two more laps to go.

Uh, I'm going to go over here and shake hands with Wayne Cato.

The cowboy? What for?

Boyhood idol. Excuse me. Later.

Here he comes.

'But the lead'

'continues to go to Poncherello'

'in car number 85.'

'He's lightning..'

Okay. Zap him.

'Oh, a terrible crash'

'on the back straight.'

'Car number 85, Frank Poncherello.'

'The yellow flag is up.'

'Ladies and gentlemen, this race'

'will be stopped immediately.'

'The ambulance will come out.'

'The race is stopped.'

'Frank Poncherello appears to be'

'alright out there, ladies and gentlemen.'

An excellent test, wouldn't you say?

Hey, you okay?

You tell me.

I'm still in one piece?

Yeah. What happened? How did you lose it?

I don't know.

I saw this bright flash

and then the lights went out.

And they're still out.

From what I've seen by my examination and the slit lamp

there's, uh, slight edema of the cornea

but I can assure you it's not permanent.

Close your eyes.

Do you see anything?

Yes. I see flashes of light.

Okay. Open your eyes.

Any pain?

No.

Things are starting to clear up.

Good.

Your eyesight should be back to normal

in a matter of hours.

Sprint cars, huh?

You ever consider taking up a less violent hobby?

Hmm, I tell you what, doc.

You get me a Formula One car to drive

and I'll never get in a sprint car again.

Hallucinating. He's been doing a lot of that lately.

Hey, what's the verdict?

I've got only one thing to say.

Thank goodness for roll cages.

See that? How many fingers?

Four. And if you move your thumb, I'll read your palm.

Well, cancel the Seeing Eye dog.

'Before my vision returned'

I was afraid I'd had a stroke

but the doctor says I'm okay.

Good. I'd hate to lose you.

I'm short-handed already.

Thanks, Joe. It means a lot to me.

You know, the guy I feel sorry for is Baricza's friend

the guy he borrowed the car from. I mean, you should see it.

Nice guy, though. Didn't cry very long at all.

Hey, Ponch, I heard about your bright flashes.

Ah, here it comes.

Well, when they turn hot and cold, you got a problem

and I'll tell you what it's called.

Ah, never mind.

This is escort day.

Does that give you a bright flash?

Right, pick up the cashier at the DMV

and take her right down to the bank. I'm on my way.

You gentlemen have a minute?

Uh, that depends. What for?

Well, I've been giving a lot of thought

to what happened last night at the track.

I'll admit it sounds a little wild

but from the evidence it appears to me

that a stream of compressed photons

more commonly known as--

Yeah, well, excuse me, Harlan.

- Uh, captain's waiting for me. - Sure.

Well, as I was saying, it appears to me

that a stream of compressed photons--

Sorry, Harlan. We got to run.

Yeah, it's noon. We're late for breakfast.

All I was going to say was a stream of compressed photons

more commonly known..

There it is.

Pretty as the day I bought it, wouldn't you say?

Must be at least a dozen times

you've used that old car as security on a loan.

After today, never again, I hope.

Your chauffeur would make a nice hood ornament.

' - 'A friend of mine.'

The daughter I never had.

Uh, your deal with Zephyr Batteries, is it all set?

Signed, sealed, and delivered.

I'll be in the bucks again before you know it.

You sure picked the right name for that old horse of yours.

I'll say that for you.

Well, it's the smartest thing I ever done.

Hey, here.

Have yourself some fun, old friend.

"Antique car race?"

Next weekend.

Sponsored by Zephyr Batteries

God bless them.

We're either a little too early or a little too late.

Trust me. We're right on schedule.

Hey, folks, get yourself a starter and a Zephyr Battery

and you'll never have to do this.

Advance the spark, honey.

Here comes the bread.

Get going.

Pardon me, ladies.

- Ah! Oh! - Ow!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

You weren't hit. Why didn't you grab the guy?

I was more concerned about the ladies.

Did anybody get a good look at the thief?

A license plate number?

Partial license plate number

Wayne. You saw the man.

You saw the car.

What did they look like?

I'm sorry. I was busy.

This is incredible. Just incredible. What happened?

I just lost $10,000. That's what happened.

My guess is that the bandit used a low-powered laser beam

to blind us momentarily.

A laser beam? That's ridiculous.

You got any better ideas?

I'm about 90% sure I owe you an apology.

- About the bright flashes.

Hey, isn't that Wayne Cato in the backseat?

Is he a friend of yours?

In a way, yes.

Well, if I were you, uh..

...I wouldn't be bragging about it.

'I never realized how few people'

use cash anymore to pay their bills.

It's un-American to pay cash.

But then again, how would you know?

You never have any cash

and you never pay your bills.

That's true. What about the checks?

Uh, destroy 'em. You got a match?

Go ahead. Do the honors.

Seems a shame, doesn't it?

Relax. It's only money.

You haven't said ten words all morning.

What happened yesterday?

Did Zephyr Batteries tear up your contract?

I got a lot on my mind. Now, don't bug me, Jim.

You got bombed last night.

First time in years. How come?

I was alone. Didn't like the company.

Do the battery people know about the horse?

It's none of their business.

You know how people feel about animals.

When it gets out that old Zephyr here

is not a hundred percent

a lot of folks might think

the old boy is being abused.

It'll be the last commercials you ever make.

Look, I'm the first to admit

that I should have been listening yesterday

when Harlan tried to tell us something.

Oh, it's not the first time either.

If some crackpot out there

is using a laser to commit a crime

I want it stopped before it spreads.

'Harlan.'

On the assumption that you and Ponch

know little or nothing about lasers

I've arranged for a demonstration

'just to show you what, uh, you're up against.'

You're expected at that address.

In addition, I've arranged for an expert to address the watch.

By week's end, you all should be

fairly knowledgeable about laser.

I can't stand it. Let's get out of here.

- No, thanks.

I've had my demonstration.

Was it something I said?

Sensational. I love it.

I give it four bells.

Yeah, I feel like I've just taken a meteor shower.

Scan, please.

We use a low-powered laser in light shows such as this one.

You can deflect the beam with your hand, for example

and suffer no ill effects.

You could, however

become disoriented

or even momentarily blinded

should the beam strike you directly in the face

'especially if you weren't expecting it.'

You can say that again.

Oh, excuse me.

Good morning. Laser Images.

Uh, yes, sir. He's right here.

'

Your sergeant.

Thank you.

- Yeah, sarge. - Wayne Cato called.

- Yeah.

Bonnie's reluctant witness. What's on his mind?

He said he had some information.

Now, Bonnie is busy in court today

so why don't you and Ponch take over?

Sure. Why don't you, um, give me the address?

Uh, it's number three, Hillcrest Road West.

'Now, if it's anything important, call in.'

'I'll put it on the air. Bye, Jon.'

Alright. Talk to you later.

' - Yeah.

My boyhood idol. He wants to talk now.

That's Zephyr.

I've seen him in a hundred movies.

I've wanted to ride him since I was ten years old.

I wonder who the girl is.

'I wouldn't know.'

I thought you said this guy was out of work.

I guess it all depends on what kind of work you're out of.

Oh, howdy, fellas. You just missed him.

- The studio called.

He had to make a quick trip into town.

Asked me to give you this.

What is it?

Beats the heck out of me.

Okay. Thank you.

- Yeah.

Thirty years, that's the first time I ever lied for you.

Why'd you have me do it?

Since when do you go around hiding from cops?

Well, I couldn't face them, Jim.

Well, why, for heaven's sake?

Didn't Lisa tell you?

Tell me what?

Yesterday, at the bank

I auditioned for a new role.

The part of a frightened old man.

It's going to take some getting used to.

This description could apply to a million guys, Jon.

And you realize how many tan vans there are in this town?

Yeah, well, that partial license number may be a breakthrough.

I wonder why your hero didn't stick around

and give this information to Bonnie.

That's a good question.

Okay, that's a $150 even

less your bill from last week, right?

I think that comes to about...20 bucks.

'Okay.'

Whew! Not bad. Not a bad haul.

'All units, a 2-11 just occurred at the liquor store'

'at Victory and Santa Croix.'

'Suspect vehicle, a green van'

'last seen westbound on Victory at Sepulveda.'

'Units responding, identify.'

LA 15, 7 David responding from 2 away.

'10-4.'

We got company.

He's still with us. I can't lose him.

Okay, okay. Keep going.

I'll try to give him a blast.

Let him have it, man! What are you waiting for?

Jeb, can you hear me, man?

Jeb, can you hear me?

'Say something.'

'Anything, man.'

Buzz off.

Oh, and to think I was worried about you.

You're going to be alright.

You just hang in there.

How's he doing?

Oh, he's going to be fine.

Alright, good. I'll follow the ambulance.

Look, I got a make on that partial license number

and I figured you guys would want it.

Oh, you got that right.

It belongs to a college kid by the name

of Richard Foster.

He's a senior at West States College.

He lives a block off-campus, and that's his address.

Uh, you tell Turner Jon and I will be by later to see him.

- Okay. - Alright.

Are you Richard Foster?

Yes, sir. What's the problem?

I don't see your van around, Richard. Where is it?

Oh, man. I knew it. I..

It was only a matter of time.

What was a matter of time, Rich?

Well, my van.

Twice in the last month

somebody's borrowed my van

without permission.

You know, guys from school

you know, know I won't report them.

Well, so, w Someone's wrecked it now.

Yeah. Is that what you're trying to tell me?

Did you say that? I didn't say that.

You're under arrest, Mr. Foster.

Under arrest for what?

Suspicion of grand larceny and assault on a police officer.

How's that for starters?

Ah, come on. You can't be serious.

'You have the right to remain silent.'

'Anything you say can and will be used'

'against you in a court of law.'

'You have the right to speak to'

'an attorney before questioning.'

'If you cannot afford an attorney'

'the court will appoint one for you.'

Do you understand your rights as I have explained them?

Look, I'm no dummy. I'm also not a thief.

If you'll check with the school, you'll see

I'm very well thought of there.

Not that I expect that to make an impression.

Ever see this guy before?

I can't be certain. It might be him.

'It might not be.'

Turn around and put your hands on your head.

Oh, boy.

Now take a good look, old-timer

and tell them that you never saw me before.

That's your man, alright. I'd know him anyplace.

You're lying, man. I was nowhere near that bank!

Easy, mister. You're in enough trouble already.

I'm telling you, if you were 20 years younger--

Get him out of here.

This way, Jack.

I'm not gonna forget this.

- I'm warning you. - Come on.

Uh, witnesses from the liquor store ought to be here shortly.

In the meantime, why don't you take Mr. Cato

across the hall and give him a cup of coffee?

- Okay. - Thanks.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, half the suspects we bring in here

especially the guilty ones, threaten the eyewitnesses

so if I was you, I wouldn't worry about it.

You know, I made movies for 30 years.

Most of that time, I done my own stunts

took the falls, had the bones broken

got in my share of honest to goodness knuckle-dusters..

So why should I get cold chills all of a sudden

when some punk kid threatens to punch me out?

Well, maybe you're wising up.

You know, senior citizens are known to do that.

Yeah, well, this morning, this senior citizen

was so ashamed of himself he couldn't face you guys.

Ah, come on. Maybe you're being a little too hard on yourself.

I mean, what happened in there today

was reality, not make-believe.

As for yesterday, I mean, if you would have chased that kid

like you think you should have, you could have been shot.

That's a possibility.

Well, thanks, but your alibis

on my behalf don't help one bit.

What about the girl that was driving your car?

Could she identify the suspect?

Name's Lisa Taylor. We're having dinner tonight.

Feel free to drop by and ask her.

Excuse me. Jon? We're ready.

Yeah. I'll be right with you.

Before I go, will the kid be released on bail?

Probably be home before you are.

Until later then?

Looking forward to it.

- Thanks a lot. - You bet.

Jon, this is Scotty Peterson. Jon Baker.

- Mr. Peterson. - My pleasure.

Scotty here knows everything there is to know

about lasers. Right, Scotty?

Everything? Well, I wouldn't say that. Not hardly.

Scotty is a teaching assistant at West States Institute

and he volunteered at no charge

to come here and talk to us about lasers.

Hey, Jon? I'll catch up with you later, okay?

Yeah, right.

Does the name Richard Foster mean anything to you?

Foster?

No. I don't believe it does.

Okay.

All lasers have certain

features in common.

You have your laser medium

in this case, a gas.

You have, uh, the resonator and your power pack.

Your supermarket price scanner, for example, is a laser.

The floor you're sitting on was probably

leveled by a laser beam.

'I could cite dozens of commercial uses'

'from, uh, construction work to the operating room'

from, uh, metal welding to cloth cutting.

Any questions?

We happen to know that a laser can blind a person

at least temporarily.

What do you suggest for a countermeasure?

These.

See? They're dark glasses.

Guaranteed to protect your eyes.

See? They work.

At first I thought it was a great idea, right?

Mingling with the police, divert suspicion.

My big mistake was saying that I'd never heard of you before.

Do you really think they connected us?

Oh, come on. When I saw you in that station, I almost fainted.

If those cops didn't pick up on that

they're dumber than I think they are.

Well, so what? You got a lousy memory for faces.

It's still that cowboy's word against mine.

But if we split now, i-i-it's like a confession.

What about the people in the liquor store?

- No. No. Not a soul.

As far as the liquor store is concerned, I'm home free.

Okay. Now, look.

I'm going straight from the raceway to the airport.

What?

Well, you can do what you want to.

That's great. That's great.

I'm broke, my van is in some canyon

off Mulholland Drive, and now my partner

wants to leave me here holding the bag.

Yeah, some choice I got.

Nice of you to see it my way.

Where'd you get this crate?

'Oh, I borrowed it.'

Getting the plane tickets wiped us out.

I've come to a belated conclusion.

What's that?

This life of crime isn't all

it's cracked up to be.

We're still learning our trade.

Be patient.

Yeah.

No way I was mistaken.

They recognized one another. I'm sure of it.

Didn't Harlan know our suspect was from the same school?

Harlan didn't even know we hada suspect.

I say we run over there first thing in the morning

and ask around. What do you think?

I have a day off tomorrow. So do you.

That's what I said.

Bonnieought to run over there

first thing in the morning

and ask around.

I don't know why you insisted on being late for dinner.

Because we weren't invited for dinner.

Hi. Jon and Frank, right?

Uh, uh, he's Jon. I'm Frank.

I'm Lisa Taylor. I heard your car.

I thought it might be Wayne's. My dinner's getting cold.

Mr. Cato isn't home?

He called me hours ago, told me to expect you

and I haven't heard a word from him since.

Maybe that's him now.

It better be if he wants to eat.

Hey, everybody.

Should have taken him to a drunk farm, but I'm all heart.

That's twice in two days now.

It's getting to be a habit with you, isn't it?

Nag, nag, nag.

You want to shed a little light on this, mister?

Be glad to.

About an hour ago, Mr. Cato here

rang my front doorbell and threatened to punch me out

if I didn't confess to a crime that I never committed.

It's lucky for him I don't fight drunks.

Well, I was wrong. I apologize.

Now all you have to do is convince the Mounties here.

Looked his name up in the phone book.

Figured I'd get the truth out of him

if I had to knockit out of him.

I gather Mr. Foster had to do some fast talking.

Yup.

Hey, Jon, you want to give a hand

to a senior citizen?

You're never going to believe the first words he said to me.

"Prepare to defend yourself."

- I saw the movie.

Come on, cowboy.

Let's get you in the house.

Would you give me a little hand here?

Oh, yeah. Here we go.

- I'll be alright. - Easy.

- There you go. - Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, you're a good guy. Good guy.

Thanks for bringing him home.

No problem, man. Glad to do it.

First movie star I ever met. What the heck, huh?

So you're off the hook, huh?

Is that how you see it?

Yes, sir. That's exactly how I see it.

Goodnight, Mr. Foster.

I don't see why you... why you did it.

I mean, you must have known the kid could

have whipped you without half-trying.

You think so, huh?

Yeah, well, sober, you might have had half a chance

but then I would have had to come back

and arrest you for assault.

Is that why you got drunk before you went to see the kid?

Pretty smart guy.

I asked you the question.

Figure if I was drunk

kid would try to take me.

Fooled me, though.

Talked me plumb out of it.

So you wanted to have a fight and you went

to a lot of trouble to promote one. Why?

I was looking for somethin'..

...something that got misplaced the other day

in front of that bank.

Your big screen reputation?

Your, um, macho self

Where I come from, it's called self-respect.

Along about now, I could use a little.

You mean, the cowboy doesn't live here?

I thought this was his place.

For the past several years my parents

have been leasing the house.

They're in Europe right now.

I stable Wayne's horse for him, that's all.

Well, his horse and that old car he's so attached to.

You think a lot of him, don't you?

The man, not the horse.

I grew up watching his old movies on TV.

When I met him, it was like running into an old friend.

I think the world of him.

He's closer to me than my own father.

Well, lady, in my book

that makes him a lucky guy.

Thank you.

We'll do some follow-up, of course

but any case we would have had against Foster

is thrown out the window. I hope you realize that.

Please, Jon. Not now.

Ice for the hothead and coffee will be up in a minute.

Ah, is she a love, I ask you.

Hey, Jon, I'm racing again at Ascot, and so are you.

What are you talking about?

You tell him, Lisa.

Well, Wayne will be in no shape

to operate a kiddie car tomorrow

much less that antique monstrosity of his

so I've arranged for a new team to ride in the race.

Meet with your approval?

See how she pushes me around?

But I love it.

Ah. Cost you a kiss.

So, how long has he been this way?

A couple of years now. Best kept secret in town.

That is too bad. Tell Wayne I'll look him up after the race.

Richard Foster's one of our brightest students.

He carries a B-plus grade average.

His counselor rates his conduct on campus as exemplary.

Well, if he's our man, it's his conduct off-campus

that needs looking into.

Well, I have a note here that indicates

Mr. Foster left town last night

to attend the funeral of a relative.

If Mr. Foster left town, what he did was jump bail.

This is incredible.

Well, I don't know what to say.

How many classes of Mr. Peterson's

did Richard attend?

Two.

No, three.

Three hours weekly.

Can I assume they were acquainted?

Oh, of course.

In fact, Richard and Scotty, as he prefers to be called

are close friends.

May I speak with Scotty, please?

Well, I'm afraid that's impossible.

There's a note here that he left this morning

for a two-week sabbatical in the High Sierras.

'Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.'

'We are pleased to welcome you to our third annual..'

You're, uh, sure that's the way you want it?

If you need me, I'll be in the backseat with Lisa.

Ponch, uh, the rules are as follows.

"Mechanics will make all repairs.

"After one lap, drivers will stop.

"Mechanics will replace the fan belt.

After lap two.."

- Hey, wait a minute.

Yeah. You be the mechanic.

I'll drive.

Uh. No way. You crank her up.

'So would the drivers and crews'

'please take your starting positions?'

'The cars are on the starting grid'

'and the engines are running.'

'The flag is up and about to drop.'

'And there they go!'

'And the 1921 Peugeot'

'being driven by Gregory Holmes'

'has taken an early lead'

'followed closely by the Studebaker'

'being driven by Jon Baker.'

'The cars are nearing turn two now'

'and are approaching an amazing speed'

'of 17 miles an hour.'

'And the leaders have finished their first lap.'

'As you know, the rules for this event require..'

I wonder what that's all about.

Better check it out.

I've had just about all I'm going to take from you!

- They robbed the box office.

'Holy mackerel.'

Move it, you idiots!

Go around! We're being chased!

- Give him a blast! - I am. Nothing's happening.

Stop this thing.

I know why I couldn't hit you, but what about the horse?

Why couldn't I blind him?

Simple.

He's already blind.

You're crazy. You know that?

You ought to have your head examined.

Why? Because sometimes old ways are better than new?

Because the horse is blind, Jon.

I'm aware of that.

Sometimes, if an animal's got confidence

in his rider, it don't make any difference.

Great. Nowyou tell me.

Well, your secret's out, old friend

but after today, anybody who says

you're not a hundred percent

has got me to fight.

That item you lost the other day

I get the impression that you found it.

You mean it shows?

How about you?

You get that fan belt changed?

Oh, wait a minute.

You mean thisbelt?