Original subtitles

You're late.

But not sorry.

And we're really gonna be late

if we keep talking to you guys.

You know, I remember when they used to make sense.

Yeah, they're only carrying on because it's their turn to pay.

Now, come on, ladies. Don't cop out now.

How about copping out on the grungy life

of a smog-breathing traffic cop?

To the clean-living of a plain but chic-clothed detective

because in about 42 minutes

Officer Paula Woods is gonna be transformed

into Detective Paula Woods.

Alongside of her partner, Detective Melanie Mitchell

of the Ocean City Police Department.

Our transfers came through.

Hey, fantastic.

How could you do that to us, huh?

Oh, after about riding motors for about six years

and pounding on the chief's desk for three years

and, uh, coming in one, two on every exam that they have?

Very easy.

No, I mean how can you run out

on our coffee breaks?

Well, next time it's dinner on us. We gotta move it.

Yeah, we gotta change into our civilian gear.

Um...you guys do remember what that is, don't you?

Oh, oh, yeah. Thanks a lot.

We're gonna have to take my car in

for all the official accoutrements.

What's that mean?

I'm a detective, Ponch

not a dictionary.

Come on, Mitchell, they're waiting for us.

Got it, Woods.

Hey, who is one and who is two?

Oh, we'll never tell.

Watch out, Ocean City.

Here come Mitchell and Woods.

Mitchell and Woods. That's us.

Our first day on the job

started with us being late to meet our new boss

Lieutenant Richards.

From there, it went rapidly downhill.

How much time?

Uh, less than three minutes.

Two minutes and fifty seconds, if you're counting.

And if I'm not?

Forty-six, forty-five--

No problem, partner.

Sorry, but we got here first.

- I noticed. - Better luck next time.

Listen, it's marvelous talking to you

but we've only got about two minutes to go before we're late.

I think it's a little closer to a minute and 45 seconds.

You are Mitchell and Woods.

Uh, yeah. I'm Paula Woods.

Melanie Mitchell.

You do know how to read?

Excuse me?

Oh, I might...if you can tell me

who that parking space is reserved for.

- Uh.. - Oh, boy.

Detectives Mitchell and Woods..

reporting for duty, sir.

- These are for you, Woods. - I'm Mitchell.

Yes. Now, I put these together for you last evening.

It's a little bit of yesterday's caseload

just waiting for solution.

Oh, we'll do our best, sir.

You'll do better than that.

These are your desks. Any questions?

Well, is that it, lieutenant?

You're qualified for the job

you've been requesting it, you got it.

Now start doing it, Mitchell.

Woods.

But, uh, I was expecting

'some type of welcome aboard speech.'

But my mother always said I was too sentimental.

Well, tell me, which speech would you like to hear

the long one or the short one?

Whichever one you choose, chief.

One, I don't like to be called "chief."

Two, I'm the youngest head of a detective bureau in this city

because the people who work for me solve cases

or don't work for me.

Three, congratulations.

'Someday I'd like to hear the long version.'

You just did.

Uh, lieutenant?

You have a great smile.

This is Mitchell and Woods.

I'll be with you as soon as I finish..

...this one.

I open with two grand theft auto, a robbery

and a felony wife-beating.

I'll see you with one rape, one arson..

...and two flashers.

You're bluffing.

No.

I'd like to report a murder..

Nothing.

Tell the ME to get up here.

We've...we've got a cold one.

Two bullet holes, point blank.

'Look at this.'

Alright, what have we got here?

Well, he, uh, walked into the office

he said he wanted to report a murder..

...and he just fell on top of me.

'Mitchell.'

Is this the first time you've ever seen a dead body?

It's the first time I've ever seen a dead body

who was almost my date to the high school prom.

'His name's Buddy, Billy Joe Webster.'

Okay.

You give everything you know to Billingsley.

It's our case, lieutenant.

How do you figure that?

You might say it just fell into my lap.

Okay, you got it.

But you check in with me every step of the way.

You understand that? All the way down the line.

And even further than that, sir.

Buddy lived in a good neighborhood.

Yeah, well, you said he was an All-American.

Yeah, until he tore up his knee and dropped out of college.

What else do you remember?

He chose the star of the senior play

for the prom instead of me.

Not this one.

Hey, here's my high school yearbook.

There's me.

Cute, Mitch.

And there's Buddy.

Well, I know women liked him, but this is ridiculous.

There are no male names in this address book.

Let me see.

Buddy?

Hey, Buddy, you home?

Buddy's not home.

Detectives Mitchell and Woods.

Oh, I-I..

Hold it. Hold it.

Please..

'Now, just relax.'

She's clean.

Now, look, what is this?

What are you doing here?

Well, I just came to..

Melanie?

You, you don't remember me, do you?

It's Chickee.

Ocean City High? Eight years ago?

Buddy's prom date.

Look, where...where's Buddy?

'What's going on?'

Buddy's dead.

You're lying to me.

A little while ago.

Two .38s, point-blank

ruined that beautiful-looking man.

I don't believe you.

No, I don't believe you.

Uh, Chickee..

...what are you doing here?

Buddy..

I can't..

What?

You opened the door with a key, how come?

I..

I-I came to get his suede jacket

to take it to be cleaned.

It's in the closet.

Are you sure?

He can't be. How can he be dead?

I have...to clean his suede jacket.

Oh, let's get him.

Police emergency, lady. I need your car.

Please, lady, it's a matter of life or death.

- Here, take it. - Thanks.

Back that thing out of here! Police officer!

Are you alright?

I've had better days.

Can you walk?

- Come on.

Oh, easy..

Melanie, didn't anybody ever tell you

you're supposed to ride sidesaddle on horses, not cars?

This is the clean life we were telling

Ponch and Jon about, right?

Tell me, Detective Mitchell

how do you like your first day on the job?

I can't wait for tomorrow.

Somehow I got a feeling tomorrow's waiting for us.

- Yeah. - Come on.

By the time we got back to Buddy's apartment

my old high school friend was gone.

Can you believe it? No Chickee.

And no forwarding address.

Well, she was scared.

Under the circumstances

I guess I would've split too.

You know, listen to this.

Does, does this make any sense to you?

Eleanor, 10.

Jean, 2-3 and a half.

'Nancy, 8-6.'

All women's names

and those numbers that could be time of day or--

Oh, Buddy..

Melanie?

Adriana, 8-5.

Now, that could be 8:00 at night.

And five...five could be the privilege

of paying $500 for Buddy's services.

Of course.

Buddy's datebook.

I can't believe my All-American crush

turns out to be a gigolo.

'David-7-William, code one.'

David-7-William.

'We have an ID on your Cadillac Seville.'

Lay it on me, honey.

'Belongs to Eleanor Martin, 115, Park Place.'

I'll kiss you when we get back.

'Send money instead.'

Why didn't you tell me they got the license number of the car?

I didn't know until the police called a few minutes ago.

Get out. You should've been ready with that hours ago!

The guests will be arriving any minute.

I was looking for his book and--

I don't want to hear it again.

Run that car off a cliff.

And if you can avoid going over with it

'shave that mustache, cut your hair, and dye it.'

I'm sorry, Eleanor.

Don't worry, darling.

You'll be working very hard

to pay off mother's car.

Now get out of here.

Uh, Miss Martin's party?

Yeah, can you believe we had to borrow the gardener's car

while the Bentley's being repaired?

I hate parties. I never know what to say.

Oh, don't worry about it.

Most people don't know how to listen.

I wonder which one is Eleanor Martin.

- Eleanor. - Michelle, darling.

Ask and you shall receive.

Shall we, darling?

- I like your hat. - Excuse me.

If you were invited, I'd be your hostess.

If we were invited, Miss Martin, we would have dressed.

My name is Paula Woods, Ocean City Police Department

and this is my partner, Melanie Mitchell.

Oh, how marvelous. You found my Cadillac.

- 'Yes, I reported it stolen.'

Miss Martin, is there someplace

that we might be able to go to talk privately?

Perhaps another time.

I do have a party to attend to.

Do you know Buddy Webster?

No.

Where were you at 10:00 a.m. this morning?

Running.

- Not from, darling, for.

For my health.

Miss Martin, uh, just cut the sarcasm.

A male escort was murdered this morning

and your name happened to be in his appointment book.

"Eleanor at 10:00."

Eleanor?

Well, I think there must be at least

two of us with a name like that in a city this size.

Somebody tried to run me over with your Cadillac this morning.

I told you, my car is missing.

- This is ludicrous.

Some fool who obviously deserved to die

and you have the temerity to insinuate--

Wait. No man deserves to die that way.

And we are not insinuating, we're just asking

about your car, about your 10:00 a.m. alibi

and about your name in a book of ladies

who paid for Buddy's services.

Are you accusing me of debasing myself with a hired lover?

How dare you!

Oh-ho.

Detectives Mitchell and Woods.

We'll be seeing you, ma'am.

Did you hear what she said about Buddy?

I wish her last name began with an A.

Yeah, I know, then that would make her the Eleanor

in Buddy's appointment book.

Can't cheat, huh?

No.

You really popped her one, didn't you?

We hadn't dressed for Eleanor Martin's party

but a change was necessary before our next stop.

Hey, mama, lookin' good.

- Yeah, I'm ready.

You know, you never did tell me what lieutenant said

when you told him, you know, about Eleanor.

I thought you were going to tell him.

Uh, no.

- Hey, baby! - Whoo.

You got the time, I got the money!

'Oh, hey, baby, come on! Let's get crazy together, huh?'

'Whoo!'

I tell you quite honestly, partner

this is not my cup of tea.

Well, if we're gonna find out anything about Buddy

we'll just have to grin and bear it.

You got a way with words, you know?

Geronimo.

So, what's a good-looking lady like you doing

in a place like this?

Looking for a good-looking guy.

Like Buddy.

- Mm-hmm.

Well, I'll help you forget him.

It's kind of hard to forget a guy like Buddy.

Well, to tell you the truth, honey

word has it that Buddy fell in love

with some rich guy's lady.

Now, that's dumb... if it ain't suicide.

So...let's forget Buddy.

And Lance can help you work things out real good now.

Uh, Lance, you keep moving your hand

you're going to find yourself running into a gun.

What?

Are you crazy?

Detective Woods

at your service, Lance.

Now, you were going to tell me all about Buddy and..

...your line of work?

Enough talk, honey.

No, no. I love talking.

- I think talking is important.. - Mm-hmm.

Because establishing a relationship is..

What's that?

This...is a weapon

sometimes used by detectives

of the Ocean City Police Force.

Hey, man, I-I didn't..

Just relax and tell Detective Mitchell

all about it, honey.

So that's about it.

Anything else you want to know?

No. Thank you very much for the information.

It was really very sweet of you.

Yeah, and what about the bracelets?

I hate to be a party pooper

but things are getting kind of dull.

Perfect timing, partner.

'What about the bracelets?'

Oh, uh...what do you think?

I think he looks adorable in 'em.

You know, Melanie's right, Lance.

They're definitely you.

Goodnight.

I'll split the cost of the cuffs.

I loved the look on his face.

You're right.

Buddy worked out of a place called the Malibu Club.

Yeah, he had an agent, they call it

uh, somebody known as L

and he was supposed to be going

with a rich man's lady.

'Any ideas who that might be?'

Yeah. You think may be Chickee?

May be.

She had a key to his pad

and Lance said that that was either dumb or suicide.

Or murder. We got to find Chickee.

Well, hey, hey, honey.

Hey! Let's go for a ride, huh?

What do you say, huh? Just you and me.

- Oh, come on, now.. - Aah! Let me go!

Let go of me!

Honey, I mean, I'd just jump on you like an enraged lion.

You know? I mean, even my fingernails are clean, huh.

- Don't you see-- - Hey, mister.

You looking for trouble?

Well, normally I prefer them small

but you'll do just fine, amazon.

Oh!

- Yeah, I'm okay.

Handled yourself pretty nice there, Mitchell.

- Yep.

You didn't do so bad yourself, Woods.

You know what I need right about now?

Yeah, you need to call the chief

and tell him what we've been doing.

After that.

After that..

...a soak in a hot tub filled with lavender suds.

For about an hour.

I can't wait for tomorrow.

Somehow, I got a feeling..

That tomorrow's waiting for us.

Yeah.

You know, that's quite a story.

I mean, an All-American quarterback

turning into that kind of man.

I know. I've been asking myself about that for 24 hours.

So what's it like? How's your boss?

Like all bosses.

Charming, sensitive, and gentle.

And he trusts us implicitly.

I thought you needed us.

Mm...yeah.

We need to know the value of it

'the buyer, the seller'

the inscription on it.

You know, the works.

So what are you doing here?

You should be in Ames asking for Avrom.

So how is Ponch, hmm?

Oh, don't answer, please.

It would only break my heart.

'Oh, he's so beautiful.'

I can't deny him nothin'

except for the fact I am married keeps me

from, uh, running away with that no-goodnik.

Girls, will you come with me, please?

Now, hanging behind the meat is a door with a blue light.

You push the bell, the light goes on, and you go on in.

'His name is Avrom, and after you leave'

forget you were ever here, right?

Right.

I can't believe Rocky punched these.

So..

...you're friends of Ponch.

Uh, yes. Paula Woods.

Oh.

Uh, Melanie Mitchell.

Wow...my congratulations to the department.

Can you help us?

If I can..

...but will he help?

That is the important question.

You have, uh, money to pay for my help?

- No.

Maybe because we're friends of Ponch.

A point in your favor.

We like Mozart.

Ah..

Beautiful and cultured, too?

Hmm. What is happening to the police department?

'My heavens! There's hope!'

We need to know everything about this.

On the open market, it's worth $80,000.

I'll give you $40,000..

...cash.

We need information.

I'll give you $50,000...cash.

It's not for sale.

You're sure?

Yeah, we're sure.

Alright..

It's worth...$250,000.

'And the word is around that it's around.'

We need to know who sold it and who bought it.

The coffered diamond

of South Africa.

Set by Tikubnik in Beverly Hills..

...and bought by Lawrence, of course.

Who's Lawrence, of course?

Children, children.

Lansford Lawrence of real estate.

He owns everything, shopping centers to..

...the Malibu Club.

The Malibu Club?

That struck a chord, eh?

Does he also run men for rich ladies?

We're looking for an agent who goes by the initial L.

That kind of merchandise..

...I know nothing about.

Can you read the inscription inside the ring?

'I don't have to.'

You see, Tikubnik sent it to Avrom.

It's so minuscule, only the best could do it.

Uh, well, what does it say?

"To E.A. from L.L."

Two Ls.

Who's E.A.?

You want I should solve your whole case?

No.

More information I don't have.

Unless, of course, it has to do with..

...Mozart.

Avrom had said

Lansford Lawrence owned the Malibu Club.

Now, it wasn't in Malibu, and it wasn't a club.

What it was was a high-society version

of the Tropicana.

It's them! I better go.

- Don't be silly.

Your own mother wouldn't recognize you.

What are we gonna do?

Well, right now you can continue the massage.

And when they leave..

...you're going on a little mission.

There, in the shade. Look.

'There's our Chickee.'

- 'Same time tomorrow.' - Okay, Mr. Lawrence.

Well, we found our Mr. Lawrence.

And now all we have to do is find E.A.

- I don't believe it.

I've been calling her Chickee for four years.

I forgot her real name.

Eleanor Anderson.

The E.A. on the ring?

Chickee's the rich man's lady.

She sure fooled me.

I really thought she was crying in Buddy's apartment.

Well, you said she was the star actress in school.

Right.

Paula Woods Ocean City Police Department

and this is my partner Melanie Mitchell.

So?

Do you know a Billy Joe Webster

AKA, Buddy?

No. Why?

Eleanor knew him.

Mr. Lawrence, do you recognize this ring?

Where did you get that?

Billy Joe Webster was killed yesterday.

That ring was found on his body.

You gave that ring to another man?

No, I...oh!

Mr. Lawrence, you may be very rich and very powerful..

...but if you so much as raise an eyebrow

in a threatening gesture while we're here..

...we will handcuff you and take you in.

And we'll press charges.

Any further questions, you call my attorney.

I expect that ring returned.

Come on, Eleanor. Come on.

Mr. Lawrence, if we don't get the answers now

we will take Chickee into the station.

And you can have your lawyers call us.

What

What were you doing in Buddy's apartment yesterday?

With the key to the door?

'And don't tell us anything'

'about a suede jacket.'

And what were you doing at 10:00 a.m.?

Chickee, this ring was found taped to Buddy's body.

Somebody put two .38s into that man.

Someone whom he knew, someone who could get

'close enough to shoot him point-blank.'

And right now, Chickee, the prime suspect..

Is his prom date.

- No! - Come on. Come on.

No! I'm not gonna go with you!

You think I killed Buddy?

Well, I didn't!

Melanie..

...look at me.

I'm old before my time

because I didn't have any guts.

I didn't have the guts to do anything the right way!

And I sold out!

Well, so did Buddy.

I wouldn't kill him.

We were the same.

We were just kids, just high school stars

who didn't know how to make it in the big world.

We got lost, that's all.

But, Chickee, what was Buddy doing with your ring?

I-I knew if I kept up with this life..

If Buddy kept turning tricks

'it'd just kill us both.'

So I gave him the ring to sell

so we could get some money to get away from here.

So we could go someplace else

where nobody would know us and nobody would know..

'...how dirty we were.'

He was my best friend.

He was like my brother.

And he was the only man who ever loved me for me..

...not my body.

He loved me.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Listen..

...do you want to get off of this merry

- Oh, Melanie..

Okay, you can do it. I know you can do it.

If you need me, call me.

Melanie..

I feel so sorry for her.

- Don't.

Well, because it's her karma, so don't you take it on, okay?

Karma? There's nothing wrong with caring.

Listen, Mitchell, we've got a case to solve

and getting emotionally involved isn't gonna help.

Then why are you so upset?

Because I feel so sorry for her.

Yeah.

Come on.

You're cooking on something.

Well, Chickee had nothing to gain by killing Buddy.

What we need...is somebody who had something to lose

if the two of them ran away together.

Lawrence, of course.

Of course.

Or maybe one of Buddy's women who got hooked on him.

Or maybe his agent, if we could find him.

Does that Cadillac look familiar?

No, but I think he wants to pass.

What, on this curve?

I wouldn't fight him. He's bigger than us.

I know the guy in Eleanor Martin's car

was wearing a watch like this

and his hair was blond.

And so were his roots.

So he shaved his mustache

and cut his hair and dyed it black.

- Right. - Yeah.

Well, hello, there.

Imagine running into you two again after all this time.

Don't tell me, Mitchell and Woods, isn't it?

- Lieutenant-- '

You do remember me.

The guy you were going to check in with every step of the way.

We were gonna do that, but we got so--

- Busy. - 'Yeah.'

Yes, I know.

I have a complaint on my desk

from a private citizen who says

one of you cold-cocked her in her own living room.

The property clerk is certain that you've gone south

with a quarter of a million dollar ring

'that he's responsible for and..'

...it took two blue-suits 45 minutes to get these

off of some dude in the Tropicana Club.

Now, can you give me one good reason

why I shouldn't suspend you both on the spot?

Well, how about bringing in Billy Joe Webster's killer?

How about you put your money where your mouth is?

Well, you know the corpse that just tried

to run us off the road?

Now, that's the same guy that

we caught in Buddy's apartment.

'I'll bet you any amount of money, lieutenant'

that that Caddy belongs to the same owner as the Caddy Seville.

Eleanor Martin, she was in Buddy's datebook under A

'cause she's his agent, and L is for Eleanor.

'Now, all we have to do, lieutenant'

is check that car out with DMV.

'David Lima 2, code one.'

David Lima 2.

'On that motor vehicle'

'check you requested, lieutenant'

''80 Cadillac, black, 8-5-8 QPU'

'registered to Eleanor Martin.'

That is the second car she's had stolen in two days.

Well..

...go get her.

- Sure. - Yeah.

Help me! I can't swim!

Why did you kill Buddy?

It wasn't me!

Help! Help. I...I can't swim!

Why did you kill Buddy?

'Help me!'

Why did you kill Buddy?

He wanted to quit!

I couldn't let him.

He threatened to turn me in.

I'll pay you a fortune. Please let me go.

- Please let me go. - Oh, yeah. I'll let you go.

Ah!

Melanie, bring her in.

We'll wring her out and hang her up to dry.

Hey, Chickee!

Oh, hi.

I'm glad we caught you before you left.

Oh, me, too.

I wanted to thank you both again

for understanding and not judging me.

Uh, listen, where are you headed?

Well, I have an old-fashioned aunt

who lives in a small town in Colorado

who loves me no matter what.

Sounds great.

I hope we see you again.

Oh..

I don't think so, Melanie.

I'm not really equipped to handle a big city.

Well, you just stick close to your aunt.

She sounds like good people.

- I will. - 'Okay.'

You take care.

- 'Bye, Chickee.' - Bye.

Hey! They're writing us up!

Can you believe it?

Just wait a minute, you guys.

Go on, Jon.

Wait, wait a minute, now.

Now, if you tag us--

What do you expect, favoritism?

You better believe it.

What do you think, Ponch?

Well, seeing as how they solved their first case..

Oh. Now, how do you know that?

I'll tell you something else I know.

What?

You guys are buying us lunch.

What makes you so sure?

You'd prefer a ticket?

Uh, well, like you said

we're gonna buy you guys lunch.

- You-you got it, Woods.