Original subtitles

It's not often I'm honored with riding

with such a high-ranking partner.

Well, with men on vacation and Ponch in the hospital

it gives me an excuse to get out and about.

Any objection to me as a partner?

Uh, you know, I think I'm gonna write a book sometime.

Uh, title it... "Partners I've Known."

Yeah?

'Attention, structure fire'

'vicinity Peterson and Bryant.'

'Units available for 11-84, identify.'

- Yeah.

LA 15, S 2 and Mary 3 and 4 away. We'll handle.

- Yeah, fire's in the back.

- On your right, by the vault.

Hey.

Hey, grab a hat.

Hey!

Okay, let's go.

There's a hot one back there. Go get it.

We're moving around back. Give me some clearance.

- You got it. - Thanks. Appreciate it.

Wanna hold that, Getraer?

What did I tell you, huh? It's a piece of cake.

Fantastic.

Nobody noticed nothing, not even the cops.

Fire Department, we love you.

Come on, you guys. Don't make me laugh.

- My ribs are killing me. - Yeah, yeah.

You know, I suppose you would have checked the firemen's IDs

just as they stepped out of the bank.

Or known instinctively that it was only a smoke bomb

in the stairwell, uh, right, Sherlock?

Of course.

Yeah, what I don't understand is, uh

where did they get hold of the pumper truck?

Too bad you didn't catch the number on that baby.

Oh, you would have, uh, naturally.

Well, outside of eyeballing bank robbers

what are you and your new partner up to, huh?

Well, actually, it's been quite pleasant.

- Uh, no heartburn-- - And no high jinks.

Yeah, as a matter of fact, uh..

...I feel like a new guy.

And I've enjoyed it too thoroughly. Now, come on.

Uh, look, Ponch, is there anything you need?

Uh, yeah, what I need is out of here. The sooner, the better.

Come on.

Uh, I'll see you later, alright?

'Have fun.'

Hey, Jon, I hear they're gonna hold the firemen's ball

at the millionaire's club this year.

Oh, we have a comedian in our midst.

I suppose you would have recognized

what the rubber jackets were up to.

Let's just say I'm glad it was you and the sergeant

that took the call, okay?

I suppose, uh, that's your idea of funny, huh, Grossie?

That's hilarious.

I wish I had thought of it.

That's shades of Bill Clayton.

That's the kind of thing he used to pull.

Yeah, I forgot how stupid Bill Clayton used to make me feel.

I assume all of you know who Senator Dictor is

and, uh, what he's running for.

President. We read the papers.

Uh-huh. Well, guess who's coming to town.

- Day after tomorrow.

I bet every protester in town is home

shining up their picket signs.

Which is why all branches of enforcement are coordinating

their efforts for the senator's visit.

There goes our weekend.

Yeah, well, we're getting augmentation

from Riverside and San Bernardino. Even so..

Well, when do we start gearing up?

Uh, first thing in the morning.

I suggest that you don't do any heavy carousing tonight.

Hey.

'Alright. That's it.'

Forget the ladder. Get your helmet--

- Forget them. Let's go.

You know, the week before old Bill left

he put me through about eight days of sleepless nights.

Yeah, sounds like him.

Yeah, the guy would call me up at 2:00 in the morning

and say, "Hello, is Sue there?

Hello, Sue? Hey, fella, put Sue on the phone."

He strung that out for a whole week?

Oh, yeah, and then about 4:00 in the morning

I'd get a call that would say

"Hi. This is Sue. Do I have any messages?"

Well, I recall old Bill wanted blue skies

and fresh air, I wonder how he likes them.

Tell you one thing, probably better than I liked

those 4:00 in the morning telephone calls.

Yeah, it looks like somebody's moving out of your apartment.

Oh, no, it's probably old Caroline Bannik

in the first floor apartment, she was thinking

about moving to Vancouver.

I don't know. Maybe it's the Wissets.

They were complaining about their plumbing and--

Jon.

Hey, wait a minute. Hey, that, that's my Charlie Russell.

Hey, wait, that's my Charlie Russell print.

What are you guys doing here? This is my furniture.

- That's my coffee table.

- We've got papers here. - Well, let me see the papers.

Just a minute, alright? Be careful with that.

Sure, double-check the address.

- That's not my signature. Look. - No, it's not.

Of course not, it's his.

Gotcha, Jon.

- Bill Clayton.

How you doing? You look terrific.

I couldn't be better.

How are you, Joe?

No way.

Last time I shook hands with you

you nearly buzzed my arm off.

Look, uh, what are you doing here?

Senator Dictor. I'm here to greet him.

What do you think? I'd come here to see you?

And everything was going so well.

You can stay with me. I got plenty of room if you want.

Oh, yeah, I know. I'm already moved in.

Come on. Let's go talk about it.

Anyway, what did you guys do without me anyways?

As I said yesterday, we've been able to get

a little help from Riverside and San Bernardino

while the senator's in our jurisdiction.

The big guy over there is Walter Blitz.

Behind him, we got Bobby Brownell.

On the other side of the room, say hello to Ira Firestone.

Bill Clayton whom I assume has been detained, uh..

...I think most of you know.

Okay. Let's get out among them.

Hiya, sarge. Hey, Grossie, you old Turk, you.

- 'Hey, Bill!' - Whoo!

- Good to see you. Really nice. - Nice to see you, man.

Hey, wait a minute, guys. I want you to meet someone.

This is Bill Clayton. Bonnie Clark.

- Nice meeting you, Bonnie. - Jedidiah Turner.

- Jedidiah. - Barry Baricza, the big man.

- Hey, big man.

Oh, uh, incidentally, yeah, late yesterday

some thieves using a water and power company cherry picker

knocked off a jewelry store in Encino.

Four men posing as DWP employees, uh..

- Yeah, our Ersatz firemen.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

And check the bulletin board before you leave.

I made some assignments for the senator's visit.

Right.

- Okay, good to see you. - Good to have you with us.

Anyway, so I had this guy return the phone call to wolf.

- Now I remember it.

You were always one step ahead of me, weren't you?

You know, no wonder Getraer is leery of you.

Well, what can I tell you?

- You have a good day, Grossie. - You too, buddy.

Okay.

You're a natural born con man, Bill.

And there are some natural born marks.

- Ow! - Gotcha! Woo hoo hoo!

You hot-wired my seat, you fink.

You see He was always one step ahead of me.

You're a good man, Grossie.

I'd like to curve by the hospital and check on old Ponch.

Why not? What's to stop us?

'Units in the vicinity of Venice and Overland'

'we have a report of a man jogging southbound Venice'

'wearing a football helmet, pantyhose, and army boots.'

Good old LA. Nothing ever changes.

You should've seen Grossman when he hit the start-up button.

He yelled out, like, "Help!" And then lift off.

It was the funniest thing I ever saw.

Yeah, Bill's a funny guy, alright.

Yeah.

You know, I'm really surprised that Jon didn't say anything

to you about that mailbox gag. That was a riot.

Yeah, well, it must've, uh, slipped his mind.

I don't have a uniform in this field.

But personally, I'd like to see Bill stick around.

Uh, he's good from around, you know.

Yeah, yeah, they, you know, they used to call him, uh

Laugh-a-milli Clayton.

Yeah, you know, I bet, I bet he and Jon are out there

right now just having a ball.

'Uh, wrong.'

Hey.

Hey, partner, good to see you, man.

Hey, I don't know about you, but, uh

for a sick man, you look a little chipper.

Yeah, I'm feeling good too, and by the way

they might let me out of here tomorrow, the next day.

Really? That's fantastic.

Hey, where's your new partner, Jon?

Uh, Bill? Oh, he's getting some breakfast.

He says my cooking's for, uh, the birds.

- Yeah, till I throw him out.

Oh, excuse me, doctor.

'I didn't know you were here.'

Are you talking to me?

I'm new on this floor. We haven't met yet.

Well, uh, why don't you introduce yourself, Dr. Arles?

I'm not a doctor, I'm a mechanic.

That's what he says.

It's time for the patient's bath.

- Good day, gentlemen. - He's all yours.

What happened to my regular nurse?

- Yeah.

- She was transferred. That's too bad.

We were simpatico.

Let go of the sheet... and turn over.

When do you have to turn this thing back to the company?

When I tell my boss it's fit for service.

Don't worry about it. When we need it, it'll be ready.

- No sweat.

They make movies in this town, remember?

What's the big idea?

He told us to test this thing. Let's test it.

There's two cops behind us. You better slow down.

It's no use. Give it up.

And lose my license? No way, baby.

Look out!

LA 15 Mary 3. 11-80.

Roll, uh, paramedics and a wrecker to Bluebird Canyon

at Dead Man's Curve on the double.

They're unconscious, but they're alive.

Wedged in here like sardines.

Yeah, and we're-we're all going over, 600 feet down.

Grab it!

Easy, baby. Easy.

Wait a minute. Hold it!

Well, I am open to any suggestions.

I wish I had one.

Easy.

Glad you could make it.

- You make it six.

Push!

Look, I think I have an idea if you guys can hold it.

Go, man. My back's about had it.

- Yeah.

- 'Yeah, go ahead. Do it.'

Just hang in there. We'll get it.

We're looking good. Just hang in there.

Easy for you to say.

Okay, Bar, don't get caught in between these, okay? Be careful.

Alright.

Come on, Jon. Hurry, please.

Get them out of there.

Alright, now you grab the leg.

You just pull.

- Alright, go. - Alright. Let me go first.

I got it.

Let's get the other one.

That was fast thinking, Jon.

Yeah, you just barely got them out of that car too.

Tell me about it.

Oh, my back's never gonna be the same.

You guys both did a heck of a job.

Hey, well, you weren't so bad yourself, slick. Put it there.

Hey, what..

Gotcha.

Hey, tell the guys to hang loose.

I'll be in touch by tomorrow.

Yeah.

Well, it took you long enough. Where you been?

Next time, I take this thing for a test drive

remind me to take a toolbox.

You still got an ignition problem?

I guess I'm not the mechanic I thought I was.

Well, get on it and find out what the trouble is.

'Yes, sir.'

Oh, wow. A scanner. Terrific.

Yeah, it's kind of a going-home present.

AC/DC. It's got batteries in it. You can turn it on.

'8-11-98. S 1. San Diego Freeway.'

Hey, our calls. The sheriff's, Fire Department.

I'm gonna have a good time with this.

You can listen to everybody.

Look, everybody who chipped in signed the card.

Ponch..

...you've been just a wonderful patient.

Hmm, bye-bye, Dotty. I'll never forget you.

Okay. Bye.

Um, not bad.

Oh, wait till you meet, uh, Betty Jo.

Hey, listen, you got a line

on the firemen who ripped off the bank?

Right, you mean, thieves, not firemen.

We think they're the same guys who ripped off

a jewelry store last night.

Yeah, with the aid of a cherry picker, Harlan told me.

Bye-bye, darling. I'll never forget you.

Betty Jo, huh?

Ah, no. That was Lisa.

Can't wait to meet Betty Jo.

You know, Joe, I've been thinking about those crooks.

Has it occurred to anybody to check

the Central Vehicle Maintenance Depot?

Say again?

Where else would the same people get ahold of a fire truck

and a DWP cherry picker?

'I mean, they all work on everything down there.'

Fire engines, cop cars. Even CHP vehicles.

I'm glad to see your brain wasn't, uh..

Ponch, thanks for everything.

Oh, bye-bye, Debbie. I'll never forget you.

- No, no, no, no.

Betty Jo is my nurse. The nurse.

Uh, is there anything else I can help you with?

Oh, yeah, about a half dozen threatening phone calls

to assassinate Senator Dictor while he's in town.

Sorry, my crystal ball's in hock.

- Hey, Ponch. - 'Hey, Jon.'

You know, I used to have a partner

that looked a lot like him.

Oh, yeah, well, that'll probably come back to you slowly.

Look, the car's downstairs waiting for you

and the wheelchair's on its way, huh?

I guess you've been really busy, uh, you and Bill, huh?

Oh, w-well..

Yeah, up to here.

What's with it, Buster?

Didn't I tell you to put on your shoes and socks?

Fellas, this is my true love.

Uh, Betty Jo?

Right. She's just the greatest.

Knock it off and give me your foot.

See?

I hate to leave you, Betty Jo, you know?

Yeah, marry me or set me free.

Come on, folks. Now, keep it back, please. Keep it back.

'Come on, folks. Keep it back, please. Keep it back.'

'Thank you. Come on.'

'Let's go. Keep it back. We got a sick man in there.'

'Go ahead. If we have to take him out, we'll need some room.'

So give us an aisle, please. Please. Thank you.

Just give us a bit of an aisle in here. Thank you very much.

Folks, please keep it back.

Okay, they're coming through now. Come on, folks.

Give us a little, little aisle here, please.

Little aisle, come on. Little aisle, thank you.

Thank you. Come on, give us room.

We need a little aisle here. Thank you.

Little.. Thank you.

Little bit of an aisle. Thank you very much.

Okay, here we go. Easy.

Alright, thank you.

Swing it around. Thank you very much.

Just keep it back, folks. Thank you.

Thank you, folks.

How much do you figure this stuff is worth?

I don't know, but with what we've got here

and what we'll get tomorrow at the senator's hotel--

Hey, there's a cop behind us.

Lie down and cover up.

I can clear the intersections for you.

Which hospital are you heading for?

Thanks, officer. You're too late. We just lost him.

Yeah, I was afraid of that when I saw you slowing down.

Well, why risk an accident if you don't have to?

You're a good man. See you next time.

My pleasure.

How was I to know those bums had just robbed a jewelry store?

I'm no mind reader.

Hey, fire truck, cherry picker. Yesterday, an ambulance.

Kind of makes you wonder about today, doesn't it?

Today every cop in the city has just one thing on their mind.

Making sure that nothing happens to the great Senator Dictor.

Yeah? What time does that great man arrive, huh?

Well, in about 30 minutes, which reminds me

I'm assigned to a freeway overpass. I better be going.

Hey, uh, what happened to Jon last night?

I thought he was gonna come around.

Oh, he and Bill went to a football game.

'Uh, USC, I think.'

- No.

Thanks.

I'm glad you're home, Ponch.

Yeah, you got tired of hospital food, right?

You said you didn't want it.

- 'Hey.'

Enjoy your salad.

'Mary 3 and 10, call box Santa Monica 243.'

'Disabled vehicle. Contact RO.'

Well, this was Poncherello's idea.

I should have thought of it but, uh, well, I didn't.

"Central Vehicle Maintenance Depot?"

Yeah, well, what about Senator Dictor?

You've been relieved of that assignment.

This could turn out to be more important.

Hey, hey, you wanna help me pull a number

on that partner of yours?

Ponch? Oh, come on. Give the guy a break.

Now, look, we-we'll tell him

that you've decided to partner with me in the country

and then I'll take a picture of the look on his face.

Look, you really think he's gonna buy me

wanting to live with your rotten sense of humor again?

Afraid you're gonna hurt his feelings?

Well, as a matter of fact, uh, yeah.

You're here early. What's the occasion?

This crate's overdue.

I thought I'd try and get her back in service today.

Those paramedics pick up that ambulance yet?

Yes, sir.

'What's wrong with that black and white?'

Clutch, water pump, generator.

- That's next on the agenda.

Alright, try to get back before noon, okay?

'This was the scene earlier today as the controversial'

'Senator Dictor arrived at Los Angeles International Airport'

'where he will motorcade to the Carlisle Hotel.'

'Right now, our mini camera is standing by'

'at the hotel where security is increasing'

'awaiting the arrival of the senator.'

'In his speech tonight, we have..'

Hi, this is Poncherello. May I have Sergeant Getraer, please?

What did I tell you? There are cops all over the place.

Nobody's even gonna notice us.

It's not getting in I'm worried about. It's getting out.

We split on my signal, remember every bit of confusion's

gonna work to our advantage. Let's go.

Yes, ma'am, if the sergeant's not in, have them patch me

through to com center. Right, I'll hold.

I want you folks in the back of the store. Now, move.

You're afraid of assassination from one of us?

You heard the man, folks. Back of the store.

If I didn't know better, I'd think this was a holdup.

Just hang on to that thought, pops. You can't go wrong.

Jon Baker, right? He's a motor officer, 15 Mary 3.

Have him call me at home. It's urgent.

What's wrong? A little misfire in your spark?

- No, sir. - Well, that's good.

Because I got about 30 vehicles ahead of you

and a long sudden rash of test drives.

Oh, test drives of what?

Uh, fire trucks, cherry pickers, ambulances?

Uh, consider those questions official.

Well, no. This morning, it happened to be a cop car.

Why all the sudden interest here?

'15 Mary 3, 10-21 Mary 4 at home. Urgent.'

LA 15 Mary 3. 10-4. Look, can I use your telephone?

Yeah, right. Right this way. Come on.

Okay, so it's only a hunch, Jon.

But these guys aren't killers, they're thieves.

And one of the best jewelry stores in town

is located in the lobby of that hotel.

Look, Ponch, uh, as I recollect, the last time we played

one of your hunches, it cost us a couple days off.

Yeah, but that was the old impulsive Ponch.

This is the new Ponch, man, the thinker.

Hey, uh, you recognize this guy?

- Uh, just a second, Ponch. - He works here.

In the last three days, he's tested a cherry picker

an ambulance, and a fire truck. Today, it's a black and white.

It's the guy I saw in that phony bank fire.

I'm positive. Hey, Ponch.

'Units in the vicinity of Carlisle Hotel..'

Shh. Listen, Jon, listen. Listen up.

'...the jewelry store.'

'Suspect, four male Caucasians between 20 and 30'

'wearing police uniforms. Possibly armed with a .38.'

'Believed driving a black and white patrol car.'

You hear that, man? You hear that?

Hey, you just keep on thinking, partner. I'll see you later.

Boss is gonna blow his top. Gotta get back to work.

Why go in at all? You're a wealthy man now.

Wanna get wealthier. We're all gonna get wealthier.

How many gates you have in the yard?

Three, and they're all open.

Okay, close two, and leave that one open.

Just barely. The driver limped in here.

She was hitting on about three.

I'll close the gate for you.

Now, tell me, just what makes you think

Mr. Bright intends to return back here?

He came back every other time, didn't he?

Get away from here. Hurry.

Come on.

Good heavens. What happened to you?

This isn't funny, Jon. Not one bit.

Just look at this uniform.

Come on. Here. Give me your hand.

You..

Where did you pick up Mr. Bright's accomplices?

Oh, at their homes.

Bright couldn't wait to give the information.

Hmm.

Uh, you like that better than a pair of pajamas?

Not nearly so drafty. That's for sure.

You know something, Jon? I really missed this place.

The station, the room, the people.

- I even missed you, partner. Well, that's funny.

Uh, were you gone? I really hadn't noticed.

Oh, hey, I hear you and, uh, Bill took a football game

in the other night. How was it?

Uh, well, let's just say that, uh

the company left something to be desired.

Is that a fact?

Hey, Ponch, the fact is

I think I'm growing out of the likes of Bill Clayton.

Is that what you wanted to hear?

Who Hey, I don't know what you're talking about, man.

See you later.

No, Jedidiah, old Jon better look out the next time

I'm back in town because a practical joker never forgets.

Oh, still think he oiled you down, huh?

He'll claim he did and win everlasting fame.

How do you figure that?

As the only living man

who ever got even with Bill Clayton.

Before you leave, you might wanna take care of these.

- 'The bills you owe.' What bills?

The repairs, number one, to Baker's mailbox

and the adjoining ones, to the seat of Grossman's motorcycle

'and number three, for charges to reimburse'

'the maintenance depot to clean up an oil spill.'

'Total bill, 101.40.'

This is a joke, isn't it?

I mean, you guys are now doing it to me, right?

Uh, should have charged him double.

Joe, you know about this? Have you seen these?

Yeah, I've, uh..

I've, uh, seen and, uh, approved.

It's not fair, man.

It's not fair, and you know it.

I mean, what are you people trying to do to me?

What is this?

Gotcha!

Alright, alright. Let's get back to work.

Hey, you guys.

- Hey! - Hey, Ponch.

- Welcome back!