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(Samantha reading) You can learn everything you need to know about ovulation,

time, and fertile dates and all the scientific stuff, but when it comes right down to it, good

old fashioned love making is the way that most babies are made.

Could we...?

Babe? Babe! - Yeah? Huh?

You did it again. You fell asleep.

I'm sorry.

I don't want to keep you up.

It used to be so easy.

John?

Honey. (sighs)

John.

Goodmorning. (John sighs) - Goodmorning.

Hey, when I get home I wanna have that baby talk again.

What?

Honey, we've been through this, okay? - I know.

And it's really important to me, okay? Kids were always part of our plan.

I know. I know, I know.

Sunday is our anniversary.

We should take advantage of that.

Okay. - Okay. I gotta go.

Are you sure? - Yeah, okay. Love you.

Love you always.

Hello, sweetheart. Happy early anniversary!

Hi, Mom! You sound great. How's dad?

He's fine. You and John excited about this weekend?

We are...

When your father and I were younger, we didn't have much money so he made me breakfast

in bed every morning for a week right up until the main event.

That's what John did this morning. He made me pancakes and with maple syrup.

He's so sweet.

So are we going to be grandparents anytime soon?

We are. We're talking about it again, Mom.

(laughing) Oh, honey! Talking doesn't make babies.

Yes, I-I do know that, Mom. I know how babies are made.

It's gonna happen sooner or later.

Hey, Mom, I-I gotta go. I gotta watch the road.

(Over the phone) Okay, honey. I'll call you over the weekend. Be safe.

Okay, I will. Thanks. Love you. - Love you, too.

(bus honking)

Have all these set by air time. That'll be great. - Thanks.

Oh, how do you maintain that feverish exhilaration?

Isn't it obvious? I'm pregnant. - Oh. Are you?

I'm so excited about my baby shower next week. Thank you so much for hosting this for me.

It's going to be incredibly beautiful. I promise. - Can't wait.

So, what do you got? - Here's some themes for today's show. Are you okay

with these?

Yeah, they look fine.

Well, then. Let's go save the world. One couple at a time.

Okay.

(knocking) Goodmorning, Sam. Got a minute?

(Sam) Sure.

Ah, I love this one.

What can I do for you, Dave?

Are you planning on having children in the near future?

I know there's a lot of young mothers out there that could really use your help.

From first hand experience, of course.

Many of our callers are parenting couples.

Yeah. Well, the more the better.

It's a huge market share. I just got out of a meeting with our advertising department

and the show's ratings are holding steady in that market but...

We're adding markets steadily. Your point?

There's always room for improvement. It's all about the revenue.

Is it? - Yeah.

Are we done?

Sure. Maybe now's a bad time. Okay, think about what I said, and we'll talk about it

another day.

Ciao!

Hi, Jenna. How are you?

Can I help you?

Yeah. I'm here to see Samantha.

And you are?

John. Her husband. - Oh. Taht's right. You're the actor.

I'll let her know you're here.

Okay. Great.

Mrs. Grey, there's a man here to see you.

I'll tell him.

She's on her way.

Hey! - Hey! Oh, what a surprise!

Hi. - Everything alright?

Yeah. Yeah, no. I thought I'd just stop by. See if you wanted to go to an early lunch.

Oh, honey. I can't. We are preparing for airtime. I'm sorry.

Right. It's fine. I should've called.

Um. - What? - I'm excited for tonight.

We'll have our talk over dinner.

Yep. Yeah. As promised.

Okay. You sure everything's all right?

Yeah, I'm good. Okay. - Okay.

Okay. - Okay. - All right.

Oh, hey, John. Will you pick up y dry cleaning on your way home?

Yeah, sure. I got nothing else to do. (Jenna laughs)

Good to see you again.

(John grunts)

Yeah, can I talk to Vince?

Yeah. Yeah, it's John Grey. U-huh.

Hi, can I have a black coffee?

(to the phone) Yeah, well, listen. I've been leaving him messages for weeks.

I want the ice on top.

Yeah. You know what? Tell him his silence is deafening! Okay?

Yeah.

You're gonna take a message? You know what? No. Don't take a message.

(to cashier) Here, just keep it.

I'm coming down there. All right? Yeah. I'll see you in a minute.

(to cashier) Thank you.

Okay, so what about the web series thing?

Oh, the producers loved you on that show.

Well, good. That's great.

But not for that show.

What are you talking about. You just said that they loved me.

They do, John. They just thought you were incapable of dumbing down the character.

Vince, I'm an actor, okay? I take what's on the page. I bring it to life.

That's my job. - Look, I don't make the decisions, John.

That's just what they said.

I need to work! All right? I...

All right, look, man. I'll make some calls and I'll find you something, okay?

Yeah. You said that six months ago.

Everybody goes through this, John. You know it's a tough business, man.

Yeah. Take care.

Welcome back. We still have our last caller on the line but we are running out of time,

So, in closing- (Over the radio) - May I?

It's cliche but I'm not getting any younger. The reason you have children is so they can take

care of you when you're elderly. It's like breeding your own caregiver.

That seems like a selfish reason to have a child.

(Over the radio) I'm just planning ahead.

(Over the radio) Unfortunately, we are out of time today.

I'd like to thank all of our callers and listeners.

Join us tomorrow as we talk about couples in their thirties and fourties

having babies. And every father's responsibility.

I'm Dr. Sam addressing what most affects your life with straight talk and answers.

Until next time. Have a cozy weekend.

(sighs)

Breeding your own caregiver? Who let that last caller though?

She sounded sane when I was vetting her.

(sighs) Okay.

(car beeps)

Go, Philostrate, Stir up the Athenian youth to merriments;

Awake the pert and nimble spirit of mirth;

Turn melancholy forth to funerals;

The pale companion is not for our pomp.

Yes.

(clapping)

Thank you. - Well done. Brilliant!

Thank you. I gotta say it feels amazing being here. Thank you, again.

You know, for letting me sit in. - Oh, John. Anytime. This is your home, too.

All right. I'll see you in there.

(sighs)

Any special plans for your anniversary? - Oh, I'm hoping we don't

leave the house. I'm ovulating. - Baby plans! I didn't know.

It's been in the cards a long time. - Good afternoon, ladies.

Interesting show this afternoon.

Here are your reports. - Thank you. - Excuse me.

I'm so happy for you both. - Thank you. - Can't wait to hear about

the details. (Sam laughs)

Nice hand. Nice hand.

Dude, you don't look so good.

Thank you. I slept on the couch last night.

Something new? - Uh, It's a little dance we do.

You know. I snore. She nudges, she can't sleep. So, I go on the couch.

Oh, gosh. She wants to have the baby talk again tonight.

You've reached the having a baby crisis! Don't worry. That's just the natural

progression. - Woah. Where's that written?

No, no no. Pushing the issue is the unnatural progression

Let's be honest. My career. It's in the tank right now.

I'm not ready to have this talk again.

It's hard watching my married friends lose their manhood one by one.

Case in point - we go from the living room to the kitchen and now we play cards

in your garage. - Hey, I like my garage. And it's attached so relax.

How many do you need? - Uh, two. - One.

I'll take two.

(Brad) Did you make any plans this weekend for the anniversary?

No. No.

Oh. - Yeah.

Well, you didn't forget at least. Right?

No, he should pretend that he did. Oh, it's every man's safety net.

What? - Dude. That has literally never worked for me.

You love her too much. If you wanna regain your manhood, you need to change

your perception. - I love her too much. - It's that easy.

That's idiotic! - I'm only trying to help, here.

Just ponder that while you're snoring on the couch tonight.

Will you shutup? - Look just tell her the truth.

Tell her you don't want kids. Done deal. - No, I do!

I want kids, you know... someday.

I just- I thought I'd have a series by now or something. Some stability.

Like I said, change her perception. - We know where you stand

on this.

I can't even afford an anniversary right now.

She knows that. Just get her something sentimental.

I wouldn't do anything.

Look, I'll loan you a couple of bucks.

You can get her an inexpenisve necklace.

I fold.

(John sighs)

Hey!

They're gone.

I got your favorite.

What is this?

You wanna open a bottle of wine?

Mm-hmm. - Okay.

Uh, you know, I went by the Actors Studio today.

It's been a while. Did you sit in?

Yes, I did. I did, yeah.

Just for, you know. A little bit.

And I just... I lose myself in that place, you know?

You know, I was thinking let's just take it easy this weekend. Maybe I'll pack us a

picnic basket. We can go to one of those wineries.

I thought you wanted to... - Yeah, no. Let's not talk tonight.

Let's just enjoy an evening together.

Well, that sounds great.

Cheers to a beautiful weekend.

(glasses clang) Cheers.

Mm.

Looks good, huh? - Mm-hmm.

(John) Hey, honey? I gotta run a quick errand. I'll be right back.

Can't it wait? (door opens)

(Sam sighs)

(door opens)

(John) Hello! - Where have you been?

Ta-da!

What is that?

A puppy!

I got us a puppy!

(stammering)

That could have waited! - Look at this little thing! Look how precious!

John. John, we were suppose to take a drive to the vineyard.

Now we have to stay home and take care of a puppy?

You will go to any lengths to avoid this conversation, won't you?

Whoa, woah! Time out. No! No! I thought...

You know, this is a romatic, thoughtful gesture.

A picnic is romantic. A puppy is responsibility.

Well, so is a baby, Samantha.

Yeah, John. Yeah. A baby is a responsibility. It's also a decision that two people make

together. You don't just show up at the door with a baby under your arm and say,

"Hey, honey. Look what I got you for our anniversary!" - Okay, calm down.

I think you are totally over reacting on this, okay?

Samantha, I thought you would see this as me, you know, taking responsibility for something

other than myself.

No, I see this as a passive- aggressive move to quell my motherly instincts.

Wait, wait, wait. Wait a second. Stop!

Hey, there's lunch in that picnic basket for two. You and the puppy enjoy.

I'm going for a drive. - Samantha, are you serious.

(door closes)

Wonderful, ladies. Good extensions. All the way to the horizons.

Soft gaze. Looking wonderful.

All right. We know the next position.

Soft gaze and remember bent knees are beautiful.

Hey. - C'mon, let's talk.

Well, you can't convince him to have a baby. He's broken!

Well, actually, we're all broken.

Namaste, Doctor. Save the shtick for the radio folk. All right, now.

Hands to your heart. Breathe and...chair pose.

You have a successful career and now you think a baby is going to be the little bow on top

of your perfect life.

You know, John is the actor but you are the dramatic one.

You should know by now that life is not a Norman Rockwell painting.

He made an effort. He did bring you a puppy.

I can't. Okay, I can't.

Oh, you know. I really miss that happy-go-lucky you.

You know I hate that statement. It implies a lack of substance.

All right. You're in a sensitive place right now. I get it.

(sighs) I feel like I can help everyone else with their relationships

and I can't handle my own.

(sighs)

Don't you have any spiritual uplifting words for me?

"Life is a series of sequences that don't always fit together perfectly.

Every now and then you have to smooth over the rough edges so the pieces fit again."

Did you memorize that from a book? - Yes.

How about a marriage counselor? - I did think of that.

She helped Brad and I.

You and Brad had problems?

Well, it was a long time ago.

He was hard to train. She's great, though.

Now, c'mon. Take off your wedgies.

(takes a breath)

(car stops)

(pounding on door) Hey! Jake!

(rings doorbell)

Jake!

Hey, buddy. - It backfired. - What are you talking about?

I bought her a puppy. I thought it would be, you know, a two for one deal.

What? - The anniversary. Her ticking clock.

Ah, not a good idea. You should've run this by me first. I am your attorney.

I know you're my attorney, and you told me to change her perspective, so...

that's what I did! I thought it was a good idea.

A woman's ticking clock is a primal urge. You need a little more than a cute little puppy.

I never should've listened to you. - Yes, you should.

All, right. I see what I'm dealing with here. We're getting a drink.

Okay. - I just gotta get my keys. - Okay.

(bar music)

... this kid stuff and I get it. Like, you know, we're married. You know, it makes sense.

It's that time. I don't know, I just- I know- I know you were just trying to help, okay?

You've been that way since we were kids. So, thank you.

Comrades for life, baby. - Yes, sir. (drinks clink)

Okay, but listen. Let's be honest with me.

Out of all of our friends, you are THE last man standing. - Best man standing.

Okay. Why haven't you settled down? - It's just not in my DNA.

Okay. But let's be honest, here. Really. We're both on the wrong side of thirty. Okay?

Debateable. - I mean, do you really wanna be alone for the rest of your life?

Well, there are two of my future ex-girlfriends right behind you.

That's what I'm talking about! That's what I'm talking about! Do you really wanna do this-

This for the rest of your life?

All right.

Do you remember our gorgeous seventh grade French teacher, Ms. Kluge?

Yeah, of course, how could I forget?

What was it she always used to make us say at the end of class?

'Au revoir, Madaemoiselle Kluge.' That's where it all came together for me.

(bartender) Gentlemen, you ready for another one?

Yeah, sure. - Always. - There you go.

He's paying. - Someone's paying.

All right. Enjoy.

I'd look forward to when she'd walk down the aisle to check our schoolwork.

Her perfume. That long, beautiful hair and that accent. Dear God, that accent.

Wow. There was some real emotion...there.

You never told me that.

We had her class right before lunch. Why do you think I always had my hands stuffed in my

front pockets while we were waiting in the lunch line? It wasn't to protect my

lunch money. - Ew. No - Uh-huh.

That makes sense, actually. (Jake laughs)

You know, Samantha has always been Samantha. Driven, quirky, outspoken and eccentric.

She's wanted a baby as long as I've known her. What's changed with you?

I mean. I just wanna be ready, you know? Oh! Hi.

Hi. (John laughs)

Hello.

You're five minutes late.

You're ten minutes late. - What? That's terrible. - Yeah.

(oven clangs)

(Sam sighs)

Come here.

You really are adorable, aren't you?

Aw.

(Sam laughs)

(phone rings)

(Jake laughing)

Right?

(Jake laughing over the phone)

Hello?

(Girls laughing over the phone)

John!

(bar music over the phone)

John!

(John sighs)

(music)

(music changes)

(door closes)

(car beeps)

(rattles lock) No way. No way. No way! No!

Aw, Samantha. Samantha!

Samantha, are you serious? You changed the locks?

What?

Over a puppy?

It's not about the puppy!

Oh, come on. You are over reacting! Okay?

Really? Where were you?

I was with Jake! I was with Jake, okay?

And I was thinking about you! - John, I called you.

I heard female voices on the other line.

Honey. Honey. No. No. I can explain that, all right?

Can't believe this.

I can't believe this is happening.

Okay.

(Ringing doorbell)

(knocking)

Hey.

What?

I can't let you in. - What?

Are you kidding me? I'm locked out of my house.

Samantha called Kikki, all right? She's getting ready to go over there right now.

It doesn't look good for you, buddy. If I let you in, Kikki will have me sleep in the

dog house. - Brad, are you serious?

I can't. And you can call me tomorrow.

Let me talk to Kikki. I'll explain.

You don't get it. I have literally slept in our dog's house.

Our dog's house, John.

Okay.

Great. Yeah, this is what I needed.

What is that? - Kambucha tea. It's good for the soul.

It's horrible.

So, have you named him yet? - No.

Oh, you should name him killer. And teach him to growl everytime he smells John's scent.

(laughing)

(Sam sighs)

I cannot talk to my mom right now. - Don't.

I can't believe tomorrow is my anniversary. What is happening?

All men need a wakeup call from time to time. It's the marital shock therapy of modern day.

I changed the locks. Is that a little bit too much?

All right, let's stand up.

Hands to your heart. Breathe and chair pose. Come on! Let's go!

Not right now, no.

Okay. (Samantha sighs)

Where do you think he is? - You shouldn't be thinking about that.

I hope he knows I was just trying to make a point. I...

Maybe I should call him. - No!

If you do that, he won't learn anything.

Are you sure it was women's voices you heard?

Yeah. Yeah, loud music. He was definitely at a bar.

Yeah, I'd make him sweat it out for an extra week. At least.

Thanks for staying with me. - Of course! And don't answer the phone if he tries calling.

Hey, I have an idea. Brad and I are going horesback riding this afternoon. Why don't you

come with us. I think it'll do you some good. - Uh...

Honestly, I don't think I'm in the mood considering the... - Oh.

Yeah, well just give it some thought, okay? - Okay.

Love you.

It's gonna be okay. Everything's gonna work out.

(knocking on window)

If you wanna talk, I'll listen.

Happy anniversary.

(door shuts)

I'm sorry, okay? I know what you must have thought.

I know you were with some girls. - That was Jake! Okay?

I wasn't even paying attention to them, baby. I promise! I was thinking about you.

I called you back as soon as I saw that you called me.

I trust you. All of this is happening because you are avoiding a conversation that we

need to have sooner rather than later. - I know, I just...

I don't understand what the rush is? You know? We're both so young.

It's our second wedding anniversary. I'm thirty four. I-

my biological clock is ticking and I'm...

What? - I'm... I'm worried.

I really worried that we won't be able to have a baby.

(John sighs)

I just wish both of our careers were, you know, more successful.

It's not about the money.

We're doing fine. - No. No. You're doing fine.

You're great. I'm...

I'm in a rut.

It's not a rut.

It's just an ebb and flow.

It's the timing of it all. You know, I...

I just feel like you have one thing on your mind. Having a baby.

And that's all you're focused on.

No.

I'm focused on us.

Okay.

It just doesn't always feel that way.

Maybe we should talk to someone.

What? Like a therapist? - Like a marriage counselor.

Honey, honey. you're- you're a doctor of psychology.

I know I am but I still think a third party perspective would benefit us both.

Okay.

Yes?

No. I said okay. Not yes.

Close enough.

Wow, you're on fire today! - Thank you.

So, how was it? Did you stay in all weekend?

Well, John got me a puppy. I got mad. He got drunk with a friend. I changed the locks, and he

slept in his car. And now we're going to see a marriage counselor this afternoon.

Well, the marriage counselor part of that is good then, right?

I think so.

Oh!

Oh! Your baby shower is going to be the best shower you have ever seen.

Thank you. - Well, looks like we're back.

All right! Let's get this going.

And welcome back to the show! We are going to end our show with a first time caller.

Let's welcome Pierre to the show. Pierre, you're on the air.

Bonjour, mon cherie. Thank you for accepting my call.

Pierre, you sound French. We don't get many European callers in Albuquerque.

Oui, oui, I understand. I was hoping that perhaps you may be able to guide me through

a difficult time in my relationship.

Of course. That is why I'm here.

It is my wife. I love her with- with all of my heart, but sometimes...

I don't feel the same kind of love from her. - And why do you feel that?

I'm not sure.

Well, the recognition of unconditional love is the corner stone of every relationship.

It is important to remember that.

(Pierre) How does one identify that?

It's hard work. It is not easy.

It sounds like you're having trouble identifying your roll in your relationship.

It's not uncommon.

What's your wife's career?

(Pierre) She's, uh, in the business of healing.

That's wonderful. - Oui, oui, she is very smart.

Very smart. But, her perception of love and tolerance is almost regimental.

Pierre, this is all we have time for today. I would love to continue this tomorrow.

Would that be okay?

(Pierre) Certainly.

I can't wait.

That is all we have time for today. I'm doctor Sam.

Until next time, bye-bye.

(door opens)

That was an interesting call.

Who doesn't love a French accent?

I have a feeling there is something more underneath the surface with this caller.

I hope he really does call back.

Your decision to take this first step is the beginning of the healing process for many.

So, with that said, congratulations. - Thank you.

Do you ask true or false questions?

This is a process. We may discuss an array of issues over many sessions before we

arrive at the root of what's causing marital conflict.

I don't know where to begin.

I understand it was your second wedding anniversary yesterday? -Yes.

It was. And it was not what I expected.

I'll take responsibility for that.

Tell me, John. What does Samantha mean?

Okay. I got her a puppy. We should name him, by the way. She wants a baby. Okay?

And I got her a puppy. - A puppy is not a substitute for a child.

That's what I really want for us. We were supposed to go on this romantic picnic,

and instead he came home with the puppy.

Samantha, how am I supposed to take care of a baby when I can barely take care of us?

You don't have to help take care of us. We take care of us.

This is good. We're wasting no time, here. John, do you desire to feel the burden of

responsibility? I think we're touching on self-esteem issues, here.

(John laughs)

Self-esteem issues?

Yeah? You know what? Wow. I can actually- this room, it really brings the emotions out.

I can feel it. - Most arrive at this phase at about the same time-

their second anniversary. A colleague just published research on this phenomena.

Couples who have not resolved their major differences, such as having a child, within those

crucial early years, face a greater risk of failure.

Yes, I did just read about this.

Okay, that sounds... a little ridiculous to me.

Wha?

John, it is my natural urge to have a child.

Okay. Well, it is-- uhm-- my natural urge to discuss it and plan for it.

That's-that's my natural instinct.

Hey, babe, come on. She can't be right about everything.

She is a professional therapist. (John sighs)

Look, I love you, but I am exhausted and I need to get a good night's sleep.

Do you think you could sleep on the couch again tonight?

What?

(John sighs) Yeah, sure.

Please, take care of him.

(sighs)

This is all your fault.

You know that.

We're both in the doghouse.

Good morning. - Hey.

You look happy. - I was just thinking, we should travel to France someday.

Drive along the countryside, visit all the wineries. It would be so romantic.

Yeah, yeah, I think I would love that. - Learn the culture...

the language. - Okay.

Are you okay? - Yeah, I just finally got some sleep last night.

Oh! I'm late. Okay. I gotta go! - Okay.

Oh, reminder. Phoebe's baby shower is this Saturday. So, I could really use your help

with that. - I will be there. - Okay.

Love you. - Love you.

Bye. - Bye!

(hard knocking)

Hello? - You John Grey?

Maybe. - Mind takin this off my hands? - Yeah.

It's heavy. - What is this?

Sign on the line, please. - What is it with you guys? You're always in a hurry.

Is that like a job requirement?

Okay, thank you.

Have a great day, sunshine.

What?

What is this? Okay.

(reading covers) Dude, You're Gonna Be A Dad!? Oh, no.

'The birth partner'

Do you think Mommy's trying to tell me something? Huh?

Congratulations! Our French caller, Pierre, has generated the biggest buzz from our

listeners than any other caller in our show's history. - Oh! Wow, that's wonderful!

I guess he really struck a chord with our listeners.

Hey, is there anyone else you want to invite to your baby shower?

Preferably friends with kids, infants, toddlers.

I don't have that many friends in Albuquerque.

Acquaintances are fine.

I was thinking of a more intimate baby shower. Something small and quiet.

Keep it simple. - You know what? You're right.

This is your shower.

What about your husband's friends?

All right, Eddy. See you tomorrow.

Well, hello, sweetheart, have a seat. - Oh. Okay.

Hi. I'm- I'm John.

Okay. Not often a cutie like you walks in here. (John laughs)

Yeah, I just wanted to see what kind of jobs you had to offer.

You know. What they might pay. - Well, that depends on your skillset, sweetie.

Have we met before? You look familiar to me. - No, I don't think so.

I mean, you know, I never forget a beautiful face. - Oh, watch out, now. Okay.

So, tell me handsome, what are some of your job skills? - Job skills. Uh...

I was- I was an actor, you know, mainly in college. Stuff like that.

Well, this isn't central casting, so I can't help you there. Um...

Let's see. Here's something perfect for an actor. Have you ever waitered tables before?

No! No, no, I don't have the patience for that.

I thought you were an actor? Okay, scratch that. How about construction?

I'm more of a, you know, hang a shelf, burn the house kind of guy. Probably shouldn't be

building someone's house.

Okay, so you're a challenge.

Can you drive? And don't tell me your feet are broken, either!

Yes! No! Driving I can do.

Okay, well, then you don't need me, sweetie. Call these guys.

Well, not all people have the strength and fortitude to stay committed in the tough

times of their relationship.

It is time for a quick commercial break. We will be right back.

(door opens)

Do you think Pierre will call in? - I hope so.

Well, our listeners are hoping so. They're calling in from everywhere,

wanting to know more about our mysterious Frenchman.

(knocking on glass) It's him on line one.

Is it really? Okay, get him on! Quickly! - Gotcha.

Welcome back to the show, everyone. If you recall, yesterday we welcomed a first

time caller, Pierre, to the show. We didn't get a chance to finish our candid

conversation, yet the response from our listeners has been overwhelming.

Back on the line with us this is Pierre. Welcome back to the show, Pierre.

(Pierre on the line) Merci beaucoup. Thank you.

Your previous call has been on all of our minds here at the studio, and also our

listeners at home and we are all dying to know how are you doing right now?

(Pierre over the radio) I wish I could tell you I was better, but I cannot.

I'm sorry to hear that.

(Pierre) Unfortunately, I've begun to believe that maybe

we have reached the beginning of the end.

Is that really what you want?

(Pierre) Maybe it's for the best.

Sometimes you can love enough to say good-bye.

If you truly love someone you never give up on them. No matter what the

circumstances. It seems like you've already decided to give up.

(Pierre) Well, lovers can change and grow apart.

People do change, but Love is Love. The capacity to love never changes.

(Pierre sighs) -Pierre?

(Pierre) I... I think I will ask for a divorce.

No, I'm so sorry to hear that.

I should've asked you this before, is your wife also French or is she American?

(Pierre) She's American.

(Sam) Any children?

(Pierre) No, no. None. She desires children, but I am not ready,

which is our biggest impasse. - Why?

(Pierre) A question not easy to answer.

There is something that is not adding up here. What are you keeping secret?

(Pierre) I- I answer your questions honestly.

I speak from the heart, always.

Pierre, it is time for a commercial break. We will keep you on hold for a few

minutes. Is that okay? - Oui, oui. - Okay.

Can you believe it?

There is something about him. I...

I can't quite put my finger on it. - Good or bad?

(Sam) I don't know.

Well, our phone lines are blowing up with callers. This guy's dynamite.

Everyone has something to say about our Frenchman.

(Engineer) We lost him. He hung up.

I can do this. I can do this.

This is fine.

Okay.

What's going on? You sounded a little upset on the phone.

Recently, I've had this caller on the show. A French guy.

Ooh la la, everyone loves a French accent.

It's not just his accent. It's...

his choice of words. His tone of voice.

I think he's really hurting, Pierre.

Pierre? So, he has a name. You've never said that about a caller before.

There's just this sense of... familiarity about him.

Oh! Don't do anything you're gonna regret.

You know me better than that.

I do have something I have to admit.

I've been daydreaming about him. I don't know how he looks. I don't know

anything about him. - And you need to keep it that way.

I'm smart enough to know what this is about. This is about John.

I just wish that he viewed our marriage like this caller views his.

Well, you need to get that resolved with John. I mean, I know I'm a little bit

hard on him, but... you two really are meant for each other... you're both

just a little off right now.

Yeah.

Hey. - Hey.

What is that? - I am going to make us something special for dinner,

tonight. Chicken cordon bleu.

You still have France on your mind?

And, I got this little number...

What do you think about this for dessert?

Uh, you know what? I just remembered, I left my-my script at Jake's.

What script?

Uh, that's right! I never even told you about that. Uhm..

I have a producer's callback tomorrow.

Babe, that's awesome. - I know, yeah.

. So, I'm gonna go. I should probably go get it.

Oh, okay. Can it wait until after dinner and dessert? - Yeah.

Well, I should probably rehearse after dinner. So, let me just- Let me go

get it. I'll be right back. - John!

Well, okay.

Want another beer?

Nah, I'm fine.

Look, you can't keep hiding from her. - I'm not hiding. I'm...

avoiding. - Ah.

So, a French teddy. - Mhm. - Yeah, that's extremely sexy.

I know. -So, what she's into things French?

Look, all I'm saying is you can't keep this up much longer. Lay your cards on the

table and tell her, kids are out of the question, for right now.

There's more to it than that. - Like what?

Nothing, nothing... it's just my imagination.

Maybe you should just give in. Start learning nursery rhymes.

Ugh. - Mhm.

(knocking)

Dave wants to talk to us. - Both of us?

What's he want to complain about now?

Knock knock! - Who's there?

It's Dave! Good morning, ladies.

Good morning. - We need to talk about the show's trajectory.

The new demographics, to be more precise.

Didn't we already cover this?

Well, you know how these corporate folks and research groups are.

Aren't you one of those corporate folks?

Can we get to the point?

You know, corporate feels that we are neglecting the teen market. We're nearly

thirty below in the percentile there. - I'm sorry. Teen market?

I thought they wanted more listeners with children? Which is it?

Don't shoot the messenger.

Teens are not part of our demographic. We established that since day one.

You know, your contract negotiations are coming up in a couple of weeks.

We'd like it if you could be on board with us at that time.

We don't need a focus group determining the format of our show every week.

Think about what I just said.

No need. - Hm.

That is a knee jerk reaction, but I'm sure we'll all be in agreement before your

negotiations start. - Strong-arming. That's not fair.

Aw. Haven't you heard? Life's not fair, honey. Ciao.

That man is going to send me into labor... early!

(chatter)

Wow, this is phenomenal.

I told you it was going to be the best baby shower you have ever seen!

I don't know most of these people. - Oh, who cares? They all

brought gifts. - Wow! I must say I'm impressed.

Congratulations. - Thank you.

So, do you think you could have been a little more subtle?

I know what you're doing. - I do, too. I'm throwing a baby shower.

You're a doctor of Psychology. You're the 'Dear Abby' of modern times.

But, when it comes to your own relationship, you're a mess.

I don't know what you're talking about. - Inviting all these kids here

is not going to help. You're scaring John off. I mean, even I'd scream foul.

Wait, John. Where did he go? He wasn't picking up his phone.

I thought he was supposed to help you. - I know.

Oh, hi. Hey. Excuse me. Sorry. - Oh, hey. Where have you been?

Uhm. Blackcar was surging. I'm sorry. - Okay, well, you said you were

going to help. - No, I know I said, Samantha. I'm doing my best.

Okay, well. - I'm going to be sick!

What? What? Go find your mom.

(table crashes)

(John) Oh... oh.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. - Just go upstairs. Please!

You know what? Maybe I shouldn't have shown up in the first place! Huh?

(John sighs)

(John knocks)

What? What do you want?

I just wanted to see if you were okay. I'm sorry about earlier.

All right, it was an accident.

I honestly don't think that you care.

Well, I could say the same thing.

You know, when I first met you, I almost forgot to breathe.

It was like inner pandemonium and perpetual bliss at the same time.

And now, I...

I don't even know how I feel anymore.

What is that supposed to mean?

Please, just leave me alone.

Sam.

(door closes)

Oh! Hey, Vince! You decided to call me on a Sunday? I hope this is good news.

Yeah, sorry about that. How you holding up?

Well, I need work. (John laughs)

Okay, look, John, I gotta drop you from the roster, man.

What-what are...What are... You-You're dropping me?

Hey, it's not me. Okay, buddy. It's the agency. They're telling me I need to drop all my dead

weight around here. You understand, right?

Oh! I-I'm dead weight! That's what I am? I'm dead weight?

No, Vince, I don't understand! Okay? Do you understand this?

John? Hello?

It's Pierre... he's on line one!

Great! Keep him on the line, I'll bring him on air after the intro.

(Phoebe) He doesn't want to go live.

He wants to speak with you privately.

Pierre?

I was hoping you would call. Why can't we put you on the air?

(Pierre) I have a desire to speak with you without the ears

of the world burdening my words.

I would like that but I'm about to go on air. Leave me your number and I'll call you back.

(Pierre) May we meet at a cafe?

(Pierre) Are you there?

Sorry. Um, I'm here.

Yes, I will meet you. I believe it's worth it. I want to help you.

(Pierre) I as well.

This is strictly professional. There is a small Cafe on the corner of Rio Grande and Jackson

(Pierre) Oui, oui. I know that place. One o'clock?

(Pierre) Au revoir.

What are you doing?

(Sam sighs)

I heard the whole conversation.

I'm doing this because I want to help his marriage.

You realize you're tempting fate. You never meet with a caller.

There's something resonating in his voice. I-I feel like I know him.

That's exactly why you shouldn't meet with him!

Hi.

Hey. - Hi.

I can't believe you're here. - Um. Yeah, I had a lunch with a work colleague.

How about you?

I got an audition downtown. Can you believe it?

That-that's great. I'm really happy for you.

Um, listen, I know this isn't the best place for it or time to say this, but...

I can't get what you said last night out of my head.

Yeah.

Me too.

So, you know, is he or she late?

No. No.Um...

I'm just early.

You know me.

I sure do.

I gotta get going, but I'll see you at home? - Yeah. Good luck.

Thanks.

Why a French accent?

You know, "Au revoir, Mademoiselle Kluge."

Well, why didn't I think of that? - Well, no. I-I took it too far.

She never has to find out. - No, that's not it. All right? It gets worse.

Okay.

All right, I asked her to meet me at a cafe as Pierre and she agreed.

Well, that's not good. - Then she showed up and she looked great.

Ah, that's not good. - I know. - I'm sorry, buddy. It's over.

That's as good as an affair. She went over the line.

I don't even know why I tempted her, you know?

Doesn't matter. Intent is nine-tenths of the law.

Pierre isn't real! I made him up!

Yes, he is. I'm looking at him.

You know what? I-I need you to help me, not make fun of me.

Unbelievable! (as Samantha) Oh, Pierre, you're exactly as I

imagined. So handsome and debonair and French.

(as Pierre) Hello, my beautiful flower. Ma Cherie. Let us sip

champagne and read poetry. (as Samantha) Oh, Pierre, your accent. I love

the way the words- how they come out of your mouth. Ah!

It makes me sick!

(Sam) He didn't show up.

I was hoping he wouldn't.

I wanted to meet him. I-I had to know.

Know what? What are you looking for?

I told you, I'm trying to help him.

Maybe it's better he didn't show up.

You don't seem so sure.

Nothing feels the same anymore.

I poured you one. - Nah. I'm okay.

You know when you said that you don't know how you feel about me anymore.

That really hurt.

That's not always how I feel.

I know, I just-- I would never say that to you.

I don't know, maybe this marriage counselor was right. You know, maybe

if we can't agree on having a baby by now, maybe we never will.

I think we can. I think...

we're eight days passed our second anniversary, so...

maybe we're the exception.

I don't know. I think we both need to figure out what's broken.

What are you-- what are you saying?

I think we need some time apart.

(door opens)

(doorbell rings)

(doorbell rings)

Surprise! - Hi.

(Sam) Mom? Dad?

Your mother just drove seven hours straight!

Oh! - What a wonderful surprise.

Where's the bathroom? - Still upstairs, Phil.

When did you guys get a puppy? Oh! What's your name?

We haven't named him yet. He's a rescue.

Seven straight hours. I'm telling you, your mother's trying to kill me.

Mom, why didn't you call us and tell us that you were coming?

We wanted to surprise you both. Your father and I needed to get out of the house.

He'll be in there for half an hour. Let's talk.

I'll put your stuff in the guest bedroom.

Mom, I love you, but what are you really doing here?

Honey, I'm your mother. Do you think I don't know when something's wrong with my

baby girl?

Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine.

A mother always knows.

I'm telling you, you drove down for no reason.

Oh honey.

Fine. - Hey.

You are all set.

I'll leave you two alone. I gotta unpack. - Okay.

Goodnight.

I don't want them to know that anything's wrong.

How long are they staying here? - I don't know, I didn't even know they were coming.

Act like everything's fine between us, right now.

Yeah.

Fine. I'll play along.

(John clears his throat)

(Dee yawns)

How long has he been sleeping on the couch?

Oh, yeah. His snoring has been keeping me up at night.

The cushions are molded to his body. - Mom!

You are reading way too much into this.

Am I? - Yes.

You're not the only relationship specialist in this family.

Mom, I love you, but I have to go to work.

Do you still have that grill in the back yard?

Uh, yeah, why?

Your father and I want to make a barbecue this afternoon.

Oh, God. I'm really not up for that, right now.

Oh, come on, it'll be fun. We'll take care of everything. Invite your friends.

You know what? That sounds great.

Bye!

...makes a great running back. Yeah, for sure.

Hey, I didn't know you guys got a puppy. What's his name?

Oh, he doesn't have a name.

The first round is ready!

Mm.

This is incredible. Thank you so much, everyone.

Mom and Dad put everything together.

How about a toast?

I got this. (clears throat)

A wise old man once said something that I'll never forget,

"Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional."

John. Samantha. I'm glad you guys are working things out.

You are such an idiot.

What? That was heart-felt.

You never cease to amaze me. Are you two cut from the same cloth? - Hey.

I know he's an idiot sometimes, but he's still my best friend, so take it easy. All right?

Will you pass the cole slaw, please?

So, everybody here knows.

Who cares?

All right. Let's all just calm down and everybody take a breath.

Okay. Why don't you have another drink, Kikki?

Okay, Jake, you need to leave. - No.

Jake you don't need to leave. This is my house, too. Okay?

Well, someone here has to take charge and I say he's leaving!

Oh, really? - Yeah.

Oh, there she goes again, everybody. Dr. Sam taking charge of the world!

Allright, I've heard enough...

You know, this was your idea in the first place, to put on this charade for your family!

I was ready to leave before they got here.

Really? Go ahead. I'd like to watch you try! I'm the only one supporting us!

Wow.

John? John, I shouldn't have said that!

Yeah, but you did.

You're really gonna go through with this?

I'll be back tomorrow to get more of my things. I mean, if that's okay with you

or do you wanna change the locks again?

Can we have a conversation without insulting each other?

Why do you always get to decide when we talk?

Was leaving me part of your anniversary plans?

No. Not getting you pregnant was part of my anniversary plans!

I just want us to have a family.

So do I, Samantha, but what I don't need is a marriage counselor or your

biological clock forcing the issue!

(bag zipping) Just...

You know what? I'm never going to live up to your standards and that's fine.

Is it- is that John?

I-I don't want him parked out in front all night.

Well, maybe we should just invite him in.

No, I don't want him in the house.

Come on.

Show him the dog's house.

You can be so cold.

All right.

He can sleep on the cot in the garage.

One night. - Okay.

I'll go get him.

You've shed some light on this whole thing, but you still need to man up and make amends.

For what? Her forcing me into fatherhood? I'm sorry! I cannot be

steamrolled like Brad. Allright? - Hey!

I didn't...

I didn't mean it like that, okay?

Brad is an amazing stay at home dad. We chose what works for us.

Right?

Yeah. - Right.

Are you just afraid of being responsible for something greater than yourself?

No. No!

Then what's the problem? Samantha believes in you.

She's been supportive with the ups and downs of your career.

But you have to start looking at the situation through her eyes.

Otherwise, you're just being selfish. You know? - Yeah, yeah. Selfish.

Selfish.

Start acting like the husband she knows you are and stop running away from her.

(knocking on door)

Honey, can I come in?

(Sam) Yeah.

I'm sorry, Mom. I just...

didn't want to disappoint you and dad.

You know you could have always talked to me about this.

I would never judge you.

What's that?

Something I put together for your anniversary.

A photo album? Take a look.

I don't know if right now is the best time.

Actually, this might be the perfect time.

(Sam sighs)

I bet him a kiss that Denver would beat Buffalo. (laughs)

Oh, wow.

It feels like such a long time ago.

Mom.

I love you! - Love you too, honey.

Thank you.

Samantha told me I might find you here.

Are you a good listener?

I should be. I've been married to Samantha's mother for almost forty years.

It's been a...

rough couple months.

It's not easy. We've all been through this before.

Yes.

It feels like an eternity. You know?

A couple of rough patches are irrelevant in the span of a solid marriage.

John.

You shouldn't make a long term decision based on a short term emotion.

Who are you?

Never heard you say more than five words in my life.

Okay, everybody, good job! Goodbye! See you next week. Get off book!

Uh. - John!

I was gonna call you after class.

Oh. Um.

Can I-- can I talk to you for a minute?

Is everything okay?

Not really. No.

Maybe being in your element for a little while will help with that.

Yeah, that's actually why I came by. I was going to ask about maybe studying with you

again. If that's okay? - What?

You know I would love that! Oh, this is perfect.

What-- what are you talking about?

I have a family matter back East. I have to leave the day after tomorrow and I

would love for you to fill in for me. It could be a week.

Are you kidding? I would be honored. Yes. - Oh!

Thank you! - Great. Great.

When I get back, I think we should talk about you teaching a workshop here at the studio,

if you're interested.

Really? Yes! I'm interested! Thank you so much.

Great. I got to run. - Okay. All right.

Do you, uhm-- you still have keys to lock up when you're finished?

Uh, yeah, I do. I will. Thanks! - Okay! Goodbye!

(door opens)

(door closes)

(Sam knocks on door)

(door opens)

(door closes)

(door closes) Are you okay?

No, I'm not. I...

tried to call John and I even went to the Actors Studio.

No marriage is bullet proof. I know what's in your heart.

You ready?

(door closes)

Welcome back to the show, everyone.

Before we take another caller, there is something I feel I need to share with my listeners.

I have given you a lot of advice over the years, but it is just that.

Advice.

We all make hard decisions in our lives. We determine the choices we make for love and,

hopefully, no one gets their heart broken along the way.

Maybe it's in our genes to make our differences more complicated than they need to be.

It's an explanation of something that we don't understand.

Maybe the guidance that we have been looking for is right in front of us.

It's in the power of the word. It's...

saying... I love you.

I understand you and I never want to lose you.

I have Pierre on line two.

Welcome back to the show, Pierre. It's great to have you.

(John as Pierre) Merci beaucoup, ma Cherie. I have been looking forward

to this call.

I think we all have.

I realize I haven't given you the proper advice that you were looking

(Pierre) No? Then, maybe I wasn't ready to hear it. But I am ready now.

That sounds positive.

(Pierre) It is.

(Sam over the radio) I realize that it wasn't advice that you were seeking, but

rather validation for a decision that you had already made.

(Pierre) Oui. That-That was true, but not anymore.

I called today because I know that only you can help me.

(Pierre) Tell me, do you have a perfect marriage?

You're turning the tables here.

No.

I do not have a perfect marriage.

(Pierre) I've listened closely to your words and advice when we talk.

You talk from the heart.

I believe in true love.

(Pierre) And so do I.

I was selfish with my husband.

I lost sight of what really matters in life and I...

may have lost the only person I have ever loved.

I was wrong.

What's your truth?

(Pierre) My truth is, I was worried about losing my identity,

as much as losing my importance in my wife's eyes.

(Pierre) I too was selfish.

And I was wrong.

(John's normal voice) Do you remember what you said to me

the first time we met?

(door opens)

That you felt like you couldn't breathe.

What?

You said it felt like inner pandemonium

and perpetual bliss, at the same time.

Now, I know what that means.

This is when I say I love you.

I love you more than anything in the whole world

and I never want to lose you.

I'm going to have to call you back.

Yes.

(knocking and door opening)

You wanted to see me?

Samantha. Have a seat.

If this is about the last broadcast,

I'm sorry. I got really emotional and it won't happen again.

You're sorry?

I don't care if it was a stunt or if it was an act of God.

It put the show over the top.

Ask Dr. Sam is our highest rated broadcast. You are number one in every market!

With that said, we would like to renew your contract for three years,

with a substantial raise, of course. And you would have full control of the show's

content. Carte blanche.

Wow.

I don't know what to say.

Say yes! (laughs)

Telling me you want to stay here with us and make history. That would be a good start.

Oh, and isn't there something else that you would like to add?

Samantha...

I'll support you in whatever you need.

I'll ride for the brand.

Done.

I just have a favor to ask.

I need some time off.

A little vacation time to spend with a special man.

You got it.

Thank you.

Hey buddy. Can I come in?

Uh, hey, Samantha?

Honey, can Jake come in?

You're kidding. - Yes, come in.

Thank you. - Nice shirt.

Borrowed it from your closet when you weren't looking. - Uh huh.

Hey. -Hey.

What's uh-

What's going on?

I wanted to say this to both of you together.

I feel horrible about the last two weeks

and I want to buy both of you a gift to make up for it.

Not another puppy!

No. Uh- uh!

Okay. What's this gift you speak of?

How about an all expenses paid stay at the best resort in New Mexico?

I'm also inviting Kikki and Brad.

And I'm going with a special lady.

What special lady?

(Jake) It's a surprise. Someone I've been interested in for a while.

Well, look at that! There's a heart in there after all.

(Jake laughs)

Stay for dinner?

Yes!

I'm buying all the drinks! - Yes!

Ah, there they are.

...driver in, too.

It's Jake and his Mystery Woman. - Well, it looks like everyone is here.

Bonjour, Mademoiselle Kluge.

Comment ca va?

The French teacher? - Yeah. Yeah!

Oui, it is me.

You're even hotter than when we were in school.

I'm just saying! (laughing)

I'm very proud of you! - You should be. - Wow!

I'm progressing. - Good to see you again. - Hello. Nice to meet you.

We've got a tee time in 30 minutes, okay guys. - Thank you!

I've got to keep some things a mystery. Come on! Right?

Oh, my goodness! Look at that face.

Congratulations, guys. - Oh! We wish you were here.

We do too. Enjoy your freedom now, you two.

Yeah, because once you have one of these little guys there's no more vacations for a while.

You should think of a name for the puppy before you come home.

You know what? She's right.

What do you think?

Pierre!

(laughing)

Really? - Yeah!

Okay, I love it. Pierre! Pierre it is!

(John) We miss you guys!

Keep the pictures coming!

We will! Okay! Bye, guys! - Bye! See you later, little Pierre! Au Revoir!

(Phoebe) Bye!

Okay. (Samantha sighs)

You know, I'd give up all this for one of our own.

You mean that?

Me, too.

Really? You mean that?

Oui, ma cherie.

(Samantha giggles)

(Samantha) Oh la la... (John laughs)

(baby laughing)