Original subtitles

When I was a kid,

my teacher asked, what are the three things

that I would save from my house if it were on fire.

My sketchbook,

my ac/dc album and my cat Groucho.

I didn't mention my parents or my sister.

Of course, most of the other kids did.

Does that make me a bad person?

My cat died,

I lent that ac/dc album to a guy named kojo

and I never saw it again.

But the sketchbook I kept.

Cats die.

Music fades.

But art is for keeps.

Hey, guys, two minutes to drop-off.

Proceeding as planned.

Number three, all good?

All according to plan.

I'm in position.

Computer's online.

Final approach to target.

In position in five, four, three,

two, one.

Number one, go, go!

Open sesame in three, two, one.

Proceed to step two,

deactivate the security system.

Six, one, three.

Seven minutes and counting.

There we are.

Boo.

That's fucking weird.

Number three, come in.

- Roger. - The self-portrait isn't here.

You what?

I found the three other schieles like clockwork,

but no self-portrait.

No self-portrait?

Yeah, I'm in the master bedroom

and there's another painting where it should be.

That's impossible.

Go check the video installation room.

Four minutes and counting.

I'm in the video installation room.

There's no paintings here.

Are you sure?

Uh, pretty sure.

Look again.

Man, the self-portrait is not here.

Where the fuck is it, then?

How the fuck should I know?

Maybe he took it with him to Kazakhstan.

Of course he didn't take it to Kazakh-fucking-Stan.

There's no way he took it on a business trip.

What do you want me to do?

That piece was worth three million, man.

Damn it.

We're out of time. Take what you got and go.

Number three, come in.

I'm at the door. You hacked in?

I am in.

Here's the activation code.

Are you ready?

Ready.

- Three, one, - one.

- Six, zero, - six.

- Seven, two. - Zero, seven, two.

Activate.

Activate.

Oh, fuck.

System malfunction.

What?

Come on, guys.

- System malfunction. - What's happening?

What's going on?!

I don't know what's happening, man.

I've lost access! -What the hell? What's happening?!

I don't understand!

Damn it!

- Oh, goddamn! - This isn't supposed to happen!

System malfunction.

System malfunction.

System malfunction.

Malfunction.

System malfunction.

System malfunction.

Go back to that main door.

- Try it now, again. - System malfunction.

System malfunction.

It's locked.

It won't open.

- System malfunction. - It won't open!

Come in, number three! Come in!

I don't know what to do, man.

System malfunction.

I'm sorry. You're on your own.

Come in!

Over and out.

System malfunction.

System malfunction.

System malfunction.

System mal...

Come on, baby.

Ah, here you go. Here you go.

Come on.

Huh?

Fucking heat.

Come on.

Hi there.

How about an egg white omelet aux fines herbes

and an avocado and mint smoothie?

Only ten percent of your daily calor...

Hi there.

You are low on supplies.

Consult the smart home groceries monitor.

Hi there. Friendly reminder.

Do not leave the fridge door open

for longer than 20 seconds.

Come in, number three.

Come in, number three.

Number three, come in.

Automated voice: Hi there. You are low on supplies.

Consult the smart home groceries monitor.

There's some vodka.

Party time.

Number three, come in.

Number three, come in.

I've got the pritzker prize.

What the fuck have you done?

Hmm.

What are you eating? Is...

Oh, fuck. Ah.

Oh, there she is.

There you are.

Hmm.

Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Fuck.

Oh, man.

Cool.

Oh. Oh.

Fucking guy has everything but a can opener.

Ah, fuck!

Ah, fuck.

♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪

♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena ♪

♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪

♪ Hey, Macarena ♪

♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪

♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle ♪

♪ Alegría y cosa buena ♪

Oh, god. -♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪

♪ Hey, Macarena ♪

♪ Now, don't you worry about my boyfriend ♪

♪ A boy whose name is vitorino ♪

♪ Ha! I don't want him, couldn't stand him ♪

♪ He was no good, so I...

♪ Now, come on, what was I supposed to do? ♪

♪ He was out of town and his two friends ♪

♪ Were so fine ♪

♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪

♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena ♪

♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪

♪ Hey, Macarena ♪

♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪

♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena ♪

♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪

♪ Hey, Macarena ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah... ♪

Okay.

Okay.

Hey.

A... s...

M... I...

N... e.

Honey.

Oh, fuck.

Oh. Oh.

No.

No.

Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Come on, honey.

Open the door, please.

Baby.

Come on, honey.

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Oh, fuck.

Hey. Hey!

♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪

♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena ♪

♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪

♪ Hey, Macarena! ♪

♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪

♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena ♪

♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪

♪ Hey, Macarena! ♪

♪ Now, don't you worry about my boyfriend ♪

♪ A boy whose name is vitorino ♪

♪ Ha! I don't want him, couldn't stand him ♪

♪ He was no good, so I...

♪ Now, come on, what was I supposed to do? ♪

♪ He was out of town ♪

♪ And his two friends were so fine ♪

♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena. ♪

Good evening, everybody. Uh...

Tonight we're gonna be preparing a ve... quite simple,

but quite delicious, uh, pasta dish.

Uh, we're going to start out with some filtered water

from our favorite source,

the, uh, little vegetation area there.

Okay.

Now I'm going to the package of pasta.

We're gonna take some of this...

Uh, fusilli pasta,

pasta de semola di grano duro,

and, uh, let that soak

for about, I don't know, 24 hours.

Over here, we've already prepared

this, uh...

Rigatoni, I guess it is,

and, uh, we're gonna see how it tastes right now.

Soft, uh, definitely, al dente.

Uh, it's not bad, it's not bad.

No.

Hey, Gladys.

Looking good.

Out for a little shopping?

Ramon.

¿Qué pasa?

Hey.

Looking good.

Jasmine?

It's your lunch break.

Where are you?

Hey.

Who's that?

Funny guy.

Yeah, friend of yours?

Oh, f... fuck!

Uh, okay.

I see you. I see you.

I got you. Oh.

♪ This will pass ♪

♪ Give me the gas ♪

♪ Fall on your ass. ♪

Got ya!

Olly olly in free. Everybody's dead.

Go to tompkins square park

and look for a guy named Danny c.

He's usually near the basketball courts.

Usually there in the late afternoon.

Tell him...

That I'm stuck here.

No one's come.

Do that for me.

Nobody here but us pigeons.

Right? Right?!

Right?! Right?!

Fucking self-portrait.

Oh, fuck!

What? Wh...

What the fuck?

What the...

"Opposition is true friendship."

You.

Jasmine?

No. Hey!

Goddamn!

Jasmine!

Jasmine!

No!

Jasmine!

Help me!

Get me out of here!

Help me!

This moment.

All the time.

- Hi. - Welcome.

This moment.

All... will come after.

After this moment... All will come.

Hey.

You made it.

Great. I'm so glad you're here.

Welcome. Welcome.

Come, let me get you a drink.

So... how's it going?

Good, thanks.

Really? Oh, that-that's good.

That's great.

Yeah.

Challenging times we're living through.

If you're keeping your head above water,

kudos to you.

I like a challenge.

What side of the divide are you on?

Is no man an island or every man an island?

I'm an island.

But ask me again after a few cocktails.

That is the spirit. That is the spirit.

Have you seen the schiele?

- The self-portrait? - Yeah, I've seen it.

And?

What do you think?

Look, there is champagne, cocktails, whatever you like.

Make yourself at home.

I will.

I'll catch you later.

Boom.

Let's go, guys.

Welcome, everyone,

to this exciting private view

of a new work by masbedo,

an artist duo that I love very, very, very much.

Give them an applause.

The puppet,

the marionette,

long a symbol

of the inevitability of destiny.

We are puppets.

And the fates, gods,

pull our strings, determining our actions.

Do we have free will

or are we just puppets in a show

controlled by unseen hands?

Ah!

Shit.

It's Monday,

little girl comes home from school.

She asks her mother,

"ma, what are we having for dinner tonight?"

And her mother says, "chicken."

She says, "oh, ma, chicken, great!

I love chicken! I love chicken!"

Tuesday, little girl comes home from school.

She says to her mother,

"ma, what's for dinner tonight?"

Mother says, "chicken."

She says, "oh, great, I love chicken."

Wednesday, little girl comes home from school,

and she says, "ma, what's for dinner?"

Mother says, "chicken."

Girl says, "great.

"Oh, chicken, yeah, yeah.

Dinner tonight."

Thursday, little girl comes home from school,

asks her mother, "what's for dinner tonight?"

Mother says, "chicken."

Little girl says, "ah, chicken.

Good, good, yeah, chicken."

Friday, little girl comes home from school,

"ma, what's for dinner tonight?"

Mother says, "chicken."

"Chicken.

"It's... o-okay.

Yeah, chicken, chicken."

Saturday, "ma, what's for dinner tonight?"

- "Oh." - not much meat.

Mother says, "chicken."

Little girl says, "ma, chicken again?

"I mean, can't you think of something else?

I mean, please."

Sunday, "ma,

what's for dinner tonight?"

Mother says, "chicken."

Little girl says, "ma, what are you doing to me?

Chicken again? Oh, god."

Monday, little girl comes home from school,

asks her mother, "what's for dinner tonight?"

Mother says, "chicken."

"Oh, I love chicken! Yeah, yeah!

"Chicken, that's my favorite.

Oh, you know how I love chicken."

- Okay, I-I'm maybe not... - Fuck.

The best joke teller in the world, but, uh, you know,

something to pass the time.

You-you get it, right?

I mean, it's a Bulgarian joke, actually.

I learned it from, uh, a very beautiful woman.

She had no idea that she was beautiful.

Uh, she was very funny.

I mean, that was her greatest charm.

And she told me this joke,

and she said, "I warn you.

It's a Bulgarian joke."

So this will be a measure

of whether you have the Bulgarian sense of humor now.

Clearly, uh, you all don't.

I mean, thank you for listening.

You're a good audience.

You don't heckle me.

There's no problems here.

Helps pass the time.

I mean, this is what we're put on this earth for,

to comfort each other

and keep each other company and pass the time.

She saw...

She saw me.

She saw me.

Saw me.

She looked right up.

She did.

Nothing happened between us.

Maybe.

But when we met,

I had a feeling that life had taken over.

I loved being in bed with you.

I loved waking up next to you.

And I knew you felt the same.

This is just my way to contribute, you know.

Cheers to all of you.

Cheers big ears.

If you didn't like the joke, I'm sorry but fuck you.

I did the best I could,

and if you didn't like that, fuck you.

I have no energy.

I have no energy. I have no energy.

I have no energy.

I have no energy. I have no energy.

I have no energy. I have...

I'm dying, I'm dying,

I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying.

Hoy. Hoy. Hoy.

I feel you, brother.

I'm gonna set you free.

Oh, god.

That's it.

Fire!

Fire!

"But the following contraries to these are true:

"One.

"Man has no body distinct from his soul.

"Two.

"Energy is the only life,

"and is from the body.

"Three.

"Energy...

"Is eternal delight.

"One thought...

Fills immensity."

"Energy is eternal delight."

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven... Hillside. ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hills... ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm... ♪

When I was a kid,

my teacher asked, what are the three things

I would save from my house if it were on fire.

My sketchbook,

my ac/dc album and my cat Groucho.

My cat died.

I lent that ac/dc album to a guy named kojo,

and I never saw it again.

But the sketchbook...

I kept.

Cats die.

Music fades.

But art is for keeps.

As a gesture of thanks for your hospitality,

I've saved three things of yours from destruction.

I lived in your place only a short time.

For you, it was a home.

For me, it was a cage.

I'm sorry if I destroyed it...

But maybe it needed to be destroyed.

After all,

there's no creation without destruction.

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven ♪

♪ on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven ♪

♪ on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven ♪

♪ on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven ♪

♪ on a hillside... ♪

♪ I jumped in the river and what did I see? ♪

♪ Black-eyed angels swam with me ♪

♪ A moon full of stars and astral cars ♪

♪ All the things I used to see ♪

♪ All my lovers were there with me ♪

♪ All my past and futures ♪

♪ And we all went to heaven in a little rowboat ♪

♪ There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt ♪

♪ I jumped into the river ♪

♪ Black-eyed angels swam with me ♪

♪ A moon full of stars and astral cars ♪

♪ And all the things I used to see ♪

♪ All my lovers were there with me ♪

♪ All my past and futures ♪

♪ And we all went to heaven in a little rowboat ♪

♪ There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt ♪

♪ There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt ♪

♪ There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt. ♪

"But the following contraries to these are true:

"One.

"Man has no body distinct from his soul.

"Two.

"Energy is the only life, and is from the body.

"Three.

"Energy...

Is eternal delight."

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven on a hillside ♪

♪ I'm going to heaven... Hillside ♪