All language subtitles for Tales of Wells Fargo-S5E35-The Repentant Outlaw

You from the Fort?

That's right,
Sergeant Morgan, sir.

Pleased to meet you.
I'm Jim Hardie from Wells Fargo.

You got your credentials?

Yes, sir.

Bring it on down here, Mike.

Well, everything seems
to be in order here.

If you'll just sign
this receipt,

you can take
possession immediately.

There's too much
money in that box

for me to handle alone, sir.

I'll bring back a detail
of troopers, Wednesday,

day after tomorrow,
to pick it up.

Oh, I see.

Well, in that case,
I'll leave it

over at the jail there
with the sheriff.

You can pick it up there.

If you want to catch the
Sheriff, you better hurry.

I hear he's going out
on this stage.

Hmm. All right, much obliged.

Give me a hand, Mike.

Thank you, Mike.

Hello, Sheriff. Hi, Jim.

Well, what's this I hear
about you leaving town?

That's right. I'm taking pretty
boy here over to the state prison.

You know Maxey, don't you? Yeah.

Wanted posters don't
do you justice, Maxey.

I see you're still wearing
that lavender toilet lotion there.

I smell clean.

That's more than I can say
for you saddle-stiffs.

Shut up. What's
on your mind, Jim?

I wanted you to help
me look after this box

till the Army gets
in here to pick it up.

Oh, what's the matter
with Wells Fargo safe?

Little too small. Besides,
our agents are all sick.

When's the Army picking it up?

Day after tomorrow.

Well, looks like you'll
have to look after it yourself.

You can put it in one
of the cells back there.

If you lock somebody up,

just throw them
in the other one.

If I lock 'em up? I'm not
the sheriff around here.

Well, I can fix that.

Do myself a favor
at the same time.

I've been wondering
who I could get

to take care of things
while I was gone.

Raise your hand.

Don't you have any deputies?

Yup, one. I just got him.

Swear to do the duties
of the deputy sheriff

to the best of your abilities?

I got no choice.

Such a heartrendin' ceremony.

I told you to shut up.

Come on.

I'm coming.

Good luck, Sheriff.

- Hyah, hyah!
- Giddup!

Stay in the chair!

I ain't a-gonna
hurt you, you sissy!

Ooh!

All right, all right,
if it ain't satisfactory,

I'll only charge 50 cents.

Help! Let me up.

Be with you right
away. Help, let me up.

50 cents is my bottom price.

Jim Hardie, what're you
doing in town?

Please, keep him
off me. I'm helpless.

That's what you get for
coming to a quack like this.

Come? I'm riding by on my horse,

I stop to pass the time of day,

he asked me in for coffee.

Next thing I know,
he's sitting on my chest,

and he's yanking with both arms,

telling me it's only gonna cost
me eight bits including labor!

You... Please.

Please, mister, let me keep
this road safe for travelers.

See what I get for saving
a man from lockjaw?

It's a real mean molar,
too. That's an incisor.

Molar, 'cisor,
it hurts all the same.

Hmm, a little gold
in that tooth.

Well, you're still up
to your old tricks, I see.

Well, gotta do something

to keep soul
and body together, Jim,

while I get my memoirs finished.

And how are the memoirs coming?

Oh, I got it up to chapter 80.

Takes me up to my
sixteenth birthday.

That's the first
time they hung me.

First time? Yeah, it
was a real close call.

I can still feel that twisted
hemp clawing at my throat.

That must have been the time

all of your lady friends
banded together

and rode in there
and cut you down.

No, that was about a year later.

That'll be in chapter 86.

No, this time, the posse
was stringing me up,

and this greased lightning

shot out of the air
and hit the rope,

left me standing
there stark naked

with my boots on fire.

Electrocuted my horse and four
United States deputy marshals.

They was all wearing
shiny badges

just about like
that one you got...

You're not turning
soft, are you, Jim?

No, I'm not turning soft.

They made me the deputy sheriff

while the real
sheriff's out of town,

just so I could
keep an eye on you.

Gettin' so a man can't turn
a dishonest penny anymore

without some blue nose with a
harp and a halo hovering over him.

Color of my nose has
got nothing to do with it.

Oh, I was just funnin',
Jim. Just funnin'.

Let me remind you
of something else, too.

The last time I saw you,
they ran you out of town

for practicing dentistry
without a license.

Now you're not
only practicing dentistry,

you're practicing medicine, too.

What does that K.M.D.
stand for on the sign out there?

K.M.D? That's "Kind
of a Medical Doctor."

See, Jim, I'm trying
to be honest.

Sign's gotta come down.

Now, hold on, Jim.

There ain't no law
says you gotta have

a license to bury
folks, is there?

I don't know.

According to statistics,
there's 20 gunslingers a month,

turn up their heels
here in this town.

At ten dollars a burying, a
man could make real good living.

I know one thing, though.
It couldn't be very legal,

or you wouldn't have
anything to do with it.

I can't imagine
you doing it anyway.

Too much work involved,
digging all them graves.

That's the beauty of it, Jim.

I got me a man hired
to dig the holes,

make the boxes. That figures.

Me? I dig up the
customers, he buries them.

How do I look?

You look like you
belong behind bars.

And I'll tell you this,

as long as I'm
Deputy Sheriff here,

you step one inch out of line,

that's just where
you're gonna wind up.

Is that clear?

Good day.

There was 30 cents in change

a-lyin' on this here table,

and you picked it up.

No, I didn't, Bart!

You're a liar!

Now, you give it to me
or I'm gonna bust you!

No, honest, I
didn't take it, Bart!

Hey, come here.

You gonna let him talk
to you that way?

Go ahead, call him,
shoot him dead.

Oh, I don't wanna fight.

You don't wanna fight?

You're gonna stand
there and let him call you

a dirty, yellow-belly,
thieving coyote?

Oh, he only called me a liar.

Same thing.

Here.

Bash him with that.

First, could I interest you

in a real high-class funeral?

Why? Why?

Say, you're lucky I came
along when I did, boy.

You don't know
the kind of people

you're up against
here in this town.

Why, if you was to drop
down dead here at my feet,

they'd just sweep your
remains out in the street

and let the buzzards
fight over 'em.

You don't say.

Young fella like you ought to make
all those arrangements in advance.

Now, you take my $10 special.

I gotta pencil here somewhere.

Oh, here.

Now, for $10,

you get a bang-up
square-hole grave,

three-and-a-half by seven feet,

no less than six-feet deep,

topped by 18 inches
of crushed stone,

as to keep the wolves
and the coyotes

from disturbing
your peaceful slumbers.

Now, naturally
that price includes

picking up the remains
in the first place,

and for a dollar extra,

we get you a hand-whittled
head marker, solid oak,

with any ten-word sentiment
cut on her by the same artist.

But, mister... From now
on, it's out of your hands.

You live out your natural life,

no expense to your grandchildren
when the grim hour strikes.

Everything's in black and
white. I do the worrying.

But, mister, I ain't
got $10 to my name.

Five?

Ain't even got 5 cents.

See the sort of
thing I'm up against?

I do my unselfish hardest
to serve this community,

today I ain't got two 5
cents beers to rub together.

Hey, wait a minute, Doc.

You can't drink
your own gin in this bar.

That ain't gin.
It's nitroglycerin.

If my $10 special holes
hit bedrock

that has to be jarred loose.

Nobody jar this stuff.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Hey, go ahead
and knock his block off.

You Doc Dawson, the sawbones

whose name's on
that sign outside?

That's me, Doc Dawson,

friend and humanitarian,
dispenser of good.

Now, you just step over
here and climb in my chair

and open your mouth.

It'll be two bits a tooth

and eight bits for a mouth full.

With your swollen jaw, you
better take the bargain rate.

Wait a minute, you got me wrong,

I don't want no teeth pulled.

Well, say, now that a look
at you, I should know better.

You're standing at the
brink of the great divide.

Why, man, you're the
walking shadow of death.

The end ain't sneaking up
on you. It's jumping at you.

Now, I can give you
my $10 special for $9,

if you ain't particular
about the head marker.

Grab your tool kit
and come with me.

I got a a job for you.

A job, you say?

Yeah, you are Doc Dawson,
aren't you?

Just the same, I ain't
pulling anymore jobs.

I done my tricks
and served my time.

I ain't squeamish
about cutting corners

like pulling a few teeth
without a license, but that's all.

Well, there's one job
you're gonna do tonight.

Now get your bag and bring
plenty of medicine and bandages.

You're coming with me.

But I can't! It ain't legal!

Who cares? You do a good job,

and there'll be a nice
of piece money in it for you.

Now, are you walking out,
or am I gonna carry you?

First time I've ever took
money under protest.

So I kept moving the bracelets
till his wrist was bleeding raw.

When he unlocked 'em
to take a breather,

I jumped.

Whew! Do you have to stink
the place up with that stuff?

Just keep filing, Red.

Open up, it's Solo.

He's the best
I could get, Maxey.

I don't care what he looks like.

Just so long as he can get
this slug out of my shoulder.

Were you followed?
I don't think so.

Well, get out to the barn

and tell the boys
to keep a sharp lookout.

Can't afford to have
our plans fouled up.

Right.

Will you stop smelling
and get to work?

That smell's enough
to make anybody sick.

No wisecracks, mister.

Just get this slug
out of my shoulder,

and remember,
I don't like to be hurt.

Eh, pulling teeth
is my specialty,

Say "ah." Ah.

That there right there, is
that the least bit sensitive?

You'll see how sensitive I am.

Now, get to work. Okay.

Here, you better have a drink.

Much obliged. Not you!

Ahem. Here goes.

What are you doing back?

Didn't think you'd be
back till day after tomorrow.

Aw, Maxey got away.

He jumped of the stage
at Cedar Grade.

Did you go after him?

Yeah, but no luck.

I got a shot off, though.

He's carrying a hunk of lead.

That could mean a good deal
of trouble for us, Sheriff.

How's that?

When you picked Maxey up,

he had a gang of men roaming
around those hills out there,

and they're still out there.

Except now Maxey's loose,

and he knows about this money
being held here till day after tomorrow.

I think what we'd better do is

get a man off out
there at the fort,

tell them to get in here and
pick it up tomorrow instead,

before Maxey has a chance to.

And you can have that as
souvenir of my surgical skill.

That'll be six bits.

Not so fast, Doc.

I ain't out of the woods yet.

I might get
blood poisoning and die.

Right you are, friend.

It's always best to make
arrangements ahead of time, too.

Now, you take my $10 deluxe
special funeral arrangement...

Sit down and shut up.

You'll be the only one who'll
need a hole to crawl into.

Listen, Red.

You know your way
around the fort.

I want four cavalry
uniforms tonight.

Tonight? What's the rush?

They ain't supposed to pick up
the payroll till Wednesday.

Tonight.

After you get the uniforms,
camp at the gulch.

You're riding into town
tomorrow a day early,

so you don't tangle
with the real cavalry.

Now beat it. Don't come
back without the money.

Oh, what about him?

We can't let him go.

Come on, Doc.

Boss says you need the air.

I got nitroglycerin
here in my hand!

Any one of you lay a hand on me,

and I'll blow us
all to kingdom come,

providing they let us in.

Think again, Doc.

You'll be the first to go.

All right, so I go.

I'm 72 years old,
wore-out, lonesome,

pain in every joint,
ache in my chest bone,

sometimes I look down
to see the knife blade.

Can't sleep nights, can't
stay awake in the daytime.

Friends gone, folks gone,
money's gone, my teeth's gone.

Ears are ringing,
my eyes are fading,

Seen about everything by
now there is to see anyway.

About all I got to look forward
between here and the slaughter pen

is pain and mange.

And you laying there, Maxey,

trying to threaten me
with the pain of death.

He's trying to scare us
with a bottle of cough syrup.

Grab him, Solo.

Simmer down, Grandpa.

I'll give you back
your cough syrup.

Give me that!

The old buzzard meant it.

He's crazy! Let's put him away
before he kills us for good!

No, lay off, Red.

This is a handy bird
to have around.

You got any more
of that stuff, Doc?

Yeah. Well, if I ain't, I can
make some mighty quick.

Well, you just stick around.

My plans don't go
through tomorrow,

we could still use you.

Now get going, boys.

I'll watch Grandpa.

Hey. Hmm.

My shoulder's killing me.

Every time I move my arm,

my wound feels like
it's full of broken glass.

What did you do to me anyways?

Might have left a pair of
tweezers in there by mistake.

Lose lots of tweezers that way.

May be you better let me
take an inventory of my bag,

see what's missing.

Hand me the bag.

Whatever's in there's
gotta come out.

Well, don't get
your blood pressure up,

I'll take a look at it.

Hmm...

Hmm! What does that mean?

It's bad, real bad.

Something's gotta
be done pretty quick.

Here.

Aah! Aah!

Well, thanks for looking
after things for me, Jim.

You gonna stick
around for a while?

No, I'll be pulling out soon
as the Army gets in here

to pick up the payroll.

They ought be here any time now.

What do you suppose
Bob Dawson's up to?

I haven't seen him
ride that fast

since he used to try to get
away from a sheriff's posse.

Jim, Sheriff.

You're back sooner
than I expected.

Anything go wrong?

What makes you ask that?

I hear tell Maxey got away.

That's right, he did.

But how'd you know?

Oh, jackrabbit's got
big ears in these parts.

Pick up something,
gets around mighty quick.

$1,500 reward, too.

Be worth a man's while
to bring Maxey in.

You thinking about doing
that, are you, Dawson?

Well, like I said,
it's worth a try.

Hey, supposing you and
me and the sheriff here,

supposing the three
of us brought Maxey in,

I get the reward?

No, you only get $500 of it,

for information
leading to his arrest.

I see.

Gotta bring him in alone, huh?

What about the rest of the gang?

Any reward for them, too?

$500.

Five hundred extra, huh?

Eh, let's see now, that...

That makes two thousand.

It's a nice, tidy little
sum, two thousand.

Like the sound of it. Yeah.

Two thousand, two thousand.

I think your troubles
are just about over, Jim.

The troopers are here.

They are?

Hello there, Sergeant.

Mr. Hardie.

Right on time.

I'd better get
back on time, too.

Lots of men waiting for
their pay back at the fort.

So if you'll turn it over,

I'll be on my way.

Be glad to. We had to
change our plans just a little.

We moved it out of the jail

over to the Wells Fargo office.

I'll pick it up
and be right with you.

Right.

Mister, will you please
water our horses?

Hoist your money grabbing
mitts, you yellow-bellied coyotes.

I know what you're up to.

You ain't a-gonna
get away with it.

What is this anyway?

Oh, you don't know?
Maxey forgot to tell you, huh?

Well, just march
right over there

and drop the guns
in that barrel.

He's crazy.

Do as he says. Hurry up.

Now get inside there.

Quick, go in.

In that first cell, right there.

Get in there, you varmints.

You're making
a big mistake, mister.

Now, let's see,
that's five hundred.

All I gotta do in bring Maxey in
and I can retire from undertaking.

Let's see...

I ain't taking no chance
with you fellas.

Where's the cavalrymen?

Cavalry, my eye, Jim.

That's Maxey's gang.
I just locked them up.

Locked 'em up?

Those men are from the fort.

Fort, my eye, Jim.
They's crooks.

See, I took a slug out of
Maxey's shoulder last night,

and I heard 'em talking.

He said they was gonna
dress up like soldiers,

and come in here a day
early and grab that money box.

I sent word to the fort and told
them to come in here a day early.

You did? Yes, I did.

Now, why don't you stick
to being an undertaker

and let me be the detective?

Well, if that was Maxey's
men you locked up,

this must be the men
from the fort.

Get that box and get it
inside there.

You recognize any of them?

Well, my eyes are failing me.

Failed me something
fierce. Abandoned.

Sure hard times when a poor
old fella like me can't afford spec...

Quit stalling.

Well, I made
a little mistake, Jim.

Them two fellers in front
there is Maxey's boys.

You gotta be sure.

We can't afford to shoot
down any government men.

That one on the right there,

he's the one that put the gun in
my ribs and took me to Maxey.

Then go unlock those government
troops and get them out of there,

and give them their guns
back. We may need them.

You men from the
Fort? That's right.

We were sent to pick
up an Army payroll.

Told it would be in the jail.

You Mr. Hardie? That's
right, from Wells Fargo.

However, it's not in the jail.

We had to move it.

We, uh... We were
expecting you tomorrow.

We were sent a day early.

Now, look, I'm in a hurry,

so if you'll just turn it over.

You bet.

You've got the proper
identification, I suppose.

We're wearing Army clothes.

Ain't that enough?

Not quite.

However, you tell me your name.

If it's a name I'm expecting
to hear, that'll be enough.

Maybe this will help
convince you, Hardie.

Stop or I'll throw it!

Go get them, Sheriff.

Don't be too hard on me, Jim.

Don't forget, you and me,
is old friends, longstanding.

Too long I'm afraid.

Ought to take those
keys and throw them away

like you did and just
leave you in there for good.

Now, is that anyway
to treat a man

who captured the whole Maxey
gang practically single-handed?

Don't forget.
I got $2,000 reward coming,

minus a couple of hundred
those two you and Wills caught.

You're gonna get
your $2,000 reward, too,

minus, of course, a few fines

that the sheriff's got for you.

You got them all
figured up yet, Sheriff?

Yeah. $500, practicing
medicine illegally,

$500 dentistry,

$500, conducting a undertaking
parlor without a license.

Another $100 for withholding
information from the law.

$100, blowing a hole
in the city streets,

and $50, losing city property,

the keys.

That's... All told, that
comes to $1,750 you owe us.

That ought to make you just
about break even there, Dawson.

And if you behave yourself,

maybe you'll get out of here in,

oh, may be two, three weeks
on good behavior.

Well, nice
to you again, Sheriff.

Well, good luck to you, Jim.

And to you.

Let the old man out of there
just after I get out of town.

Maybe that'll teach him not
to try to blow the place up.

DOC: Well...

that's what I get for trying
to be honest at my age.

I'm a sorry plight for sure.

Ain't nothing left
but politics, I guess.

Yes, sir, public office.

Both legitimate and respectable.

Hey, Sheriff.

Any offices needin'
filling in this town

before the wind blows it away?

Like a mayor or something?

Well, I'll tell you, Doc, mayors never
have been too popular in Mesa City.

How would, say a dog catcher do?

Why would anybody
wanna catch a dog for?

It ain't human.
Poor little loyal fellas.

So cute and trusting,
wagging their little tails,

sitting up, talking to you.

Make more sense
than most humans.

What you got again
them poor little fellas?

Nothing. It's the law.

They gotta have a license
or you bring them in.

And, uh, for
every one you catch,

the town pays you a dollar.

A dollar? That's right.

Say, there must be hundreds
of them round about.

Did you know next
to a Gila monster,

they're the most treacherous
critters alive?

Always making out they're
so friendly and loving,

when all they care
about's how many bones

and such that's in it for them.

And they'll give a man anything
from hydrophobia to fleas.

And the minute you turn
to walk away,

they're always chomping
at your heels.

Sheriff, at a dollar a head,
I'll take that job.