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1
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:05,139
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:06,240
All right,
I'm going to say it
3
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,076
And I don't care
Who knows it.
4
00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:09,710
Ever since reagan
Left the white house,
5
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,645
This country's gone
To heck in a handcart.
6
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:14,882
Here we go.
7
00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,784
Heads.
8
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:17,751
Ha ha.
9
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,820
Damn.
10
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:22,323
All right, cliff,
Seeing as how
I'm your best friend,
11
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,892
I guess you better tell me
What the problem is.
12
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:27,361
You're only
Asking me because
You lost the toss.
13
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,029
No. He's only
Your best friend
14
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,899
Because he lost the toss.
15
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:34,402
Fine. Yeah.
Go ahead and laugh.
16
00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:37,405
Look.
We'll see how funny
You think this is.
17
00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:40,007
[laughs]
18
00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:41,309
As you
May have guessed,
19
00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:42,443
This is
A hybrid cross
20
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,145
Between a rutabaga
And a beet.
21
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,615
What are we
Calling it?
22
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:48,516
Beetabaga.
23
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:52,586
Cliffie, uh...
24
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,455
I don't want to poke
Holes in this thing,
25
00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:57,691
Or even touch it,
Actually,
26
00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:58,759
But, really,
I mean,
27
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:01,795
How useful do you think
This is going to be?
28
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,097
You kidding, norm?
29
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,332
This is the
Perfect vegetable
30
00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:05,866
For kids
Who hate rutabagas
31
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,568
But love beets.
32
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,804
And there must be, what,
Dozens of those, right?
33
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:11,872
Exactly.
34
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,541
It fills
A long-felt need, norm.
35
00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:15,276
That's why those faceless
Bureaucrats in washington
36
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:17,578
Are trying to steal it
Away from me.
37
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,113
Which reminds me,
38
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,382
I got an affidavit here
For you all to sign
39
00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:23,317
Saying that
Clifford clavin is
40
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:24,818
The inventor
Of the beetabaga.
41
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,657
Cliffie...
You got a pen?
42
00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:31,259
Remember when you
Asked me to tell you
43
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:34,061
If you were going
Off the deep end?
44
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:35,596
Yeah.
45
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:39,600
Don't come up too fast, buddy.
You'll get the bends.
46
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,569
Norm, you know, I usually
Go along with you,
47
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:45,273
But I am really
On to something.
48
00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:47,575
Cliffie, does this
Sound familiar?
49
00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,777
B-b-b-b-b.
50
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,685
* makin' your way
In the world today *
51
00:01:57,685 --> 00:02:00,721
* takes everything you've got *
52
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:03,524
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
53
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:06,860
* sure would help a lot *
54
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:12,666
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
55
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,702
* sometimes
You wanna go *
56
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:18,339
* where everybody
Knows your name *
57
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:23,477
* and they're always
Glad you came *
58
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,415
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
59
00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:29,850
* our troubles
Are all the same *
60
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:35,289
* you wanna be where
Everybody knows your name *
61
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:37,925
* you wanna go
Where people know *
62
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:40,428
* people are all the same *
63
00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:44,565
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name *
64
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:04,051
Woody, you look like
A million bucks.
65
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,085
You're way off, sam.
66
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:07,221
I got the sweater
For $19.95,
67
00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:09,390
I got the pants
For 25 bucks,
68
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:12,192
And I got the socks
At a yard sale
For 40 cents.
69
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,263
What's the occasion?
70
00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:16,397
They were selling
The house,
71
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:17,965
Trying to get rid
Of some old socks.
72
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:25,539
No, woody.
I meant why are
You all dressed up?
73
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:28,342
Oh. Well, the corporation's
Having a big lunch
74
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,844
And my girlfriend's dad
Is going to be there.
75
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:33,647
So if case you bump
Into him, you want
To look good, huh? Whoo!
76
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,215
He makes me
So nervous.
77
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:38,386
It took me an hour
To figure out what to wear
This morning.
78
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:39,953
Yeah, I have
That problem, too.
79
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,925
You only have
Three suits.
80
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,660
Yeah, but I have
Five ties.
81
00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:52,733
Sam, can you help me
Get my hair to do
What yours always does?
82
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,902
Sure. I don't think
That'd be a problem
Here, woody.
83
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:57,938
Ok.
84
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:01,875
[turns hair dryer on]
85
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,445
You don't know what
Your ph level is,
Do you?
86
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,121
Oh, hi, mr. Gaines.
87
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:15,289
Woody...
88
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:18,091
Now that you're
Dating my daughter,
89
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,427
I suppose we should
Take some time
90
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:21,429
To be a little
More friendly.
91
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:22,763
Therefore, I'd like
To invite you
92
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,433
To kelly's birthday
Party this friday.
93
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:26,834
Oh, thanks, but
You didn't have to
94
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,136
Come all the way
Down here and
Tell me in person.
95
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:32,039
I keep thinking
If we spend
More time together,
96
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,607
See each other
Face to face,
97
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,777
I'll learn what
The attraction is
For my daughter.
98
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:39,947
Nope.
99
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:44,552
I'm an enigma.
100
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:54,628
I have just about
Had it up to here
With this corporation.
101
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:58,399
Hey, everybody,
Here comes
The broken record.
102
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,501
I get invited to my
First power lunch meeting,
103
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,336
And nobody
Even notices me.
104
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,838
As usual,
I am just ignored.
105
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:07,140
And I finally
Figured out why.
106
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,410
I am just too
Darned attractive.
107
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,981
Guys really
Hate that, yeah.
108
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,048
You know,
The problem is
109
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:18,752
That everybody just
Sees me as a sex kitten.
110
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:19,720
I hate that.
111
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,358
I think I need to find
A new role model.
112
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:26,627
If only I knew one
Successful career woman
113
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:30,798
With an image that
Invites no sexual appeal
Whatsoever.
114
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:32,633
Another decaffeinated
Iced coffee,
115
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:33,934
Black as you can make it.
116
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:41,442
Lilith, I love
The way you look.
117
00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:42,910
Which is it--
118
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:45,112
The radiant glow
Of impending motherhood
119
00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:47,147
Or the 20 pounds
Of water I'm retaining
120
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,649
In my fingers and ankles?
121
00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:54,054
Lilith, lilith,
I love the way
You dress.
122
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,823
I admire your style.
123
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:59,593
Do you think that
You could help me
124
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:02,430
Develop a more
Businesslike
Appearance?
125
00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:03,964
I'd love to, rebecca.
126
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:07,735
And may I say
It's about time
You asked?
127
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,637
There are two approaches
A woman can take
128
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,805
In turning her look
To her advantage.
129
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,374
The first is to play upon
The male sexual drive
130
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,877
And turn yourself into
An object of desire.
131
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,779
I have opted
For the second.
132
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,681
What's that?
Scaring them stupid.
133
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:25,118
I like it.
134
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:26,253
So, woods,
What did mr. Big
135
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:27,655
Want to
Talk to you about?
136
00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,423
Still sweating you
Out about seeing
His daughter?
137
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:30,924
I bet he offered you
A couple of thou
138
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:34,161
To keep your mitts off
The airhead to the throne.
139
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:35,563
Don't you do it,
Woody.
140
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:36,730
Money
Is no substitute
141
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,899
For the love
Of a good woman.
142
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,569
Now, real estate,
Especially in
Today's market...
143
00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:43,704
No, no, no, no.
You guys are way off base.
144
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:46,073
I didn't think
Mr. Gaines
Liked me, either,
145
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,609
But he just invited me
To kelly's birthday party.
146
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,077
That's great.
147
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,480
You know, you're going to
Have to get her a present.
148
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,682
I know, carla.
I'm prepared for this.
149
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:56,784
And I'm not just
Giving her any present,
150
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:57,951
But the gift that
Makes us all
151
00:06:57,951 --> 00:07:00,353
A little bit happier
To be alive--
152
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:01,489
The gift of laughter.
153
00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:04,825
[snickering]
154
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,927
How, uh,
How so, woods?
155
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,697
I'm giving her the really
Big book of dutch humor.
156
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:14,668
See, it works.
157
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:17,404
Woody, everybody
At the party
158
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:19,507
Is going to be
Richer than god.
159
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:20,841
If you walk in there
160
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:24,512
And show them a stupid book
Full of tulip jokes,
161
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:26,614
They're going to
Laugh in your face.
162
00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:28,482
That's kind of
The idea, carla.
163
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,089
Woody, I think kelly
Might be used to gifts
164
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:38,492
That are a little bit
More expensive.
165
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:39,793
Then why did her
Father invite me?
166
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,895
He knows
I can't afford
Anything ritzy.
167
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,965
Well, maybe that's
His plan, woody.
168
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,634
Maybe he wants
To humiliate you
169
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,335
In front
Of kelly's friends
170
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,671
So she'll be
Too embarrassed
To date you anymore.
171
00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:53,941
Maybe I won't
Even go.
172
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,342
Maybe I'll just stay
Home this weekend
173
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,077
And work on
My hair. Sam?
174
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,583
Yeah. I could
Help you out.
175
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,887
You know, you got
A wave there
176
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,922
That's just
Going to waste.
177
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:13,794
Say, uh, woody,
Before mr. Jacques
Combs you out...
178
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:16,830
Could you come here?
179
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,771
Woody, you're giving up
Too easily.
180
00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:26,540
I'm sure you have
Plenty to offer kelly.
181
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:27,708
Like what?
182
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,643
Well, how about
A gift from the heart.
183
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:32,012
Something which no
Rich man can obtain,
184
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,247
Upon which no price
Can be set.
185
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:36,016
Great idea,
Dr. Crane.
186
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,918
I can't tell you
Actually what to do,
Of course,
187
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:40,821
But I can relate
A story from
My own experience.
188
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:45,158
I remember when I was
Courting a certain beauty.
189
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:46,493
I wrote her a poem.
190
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:47,928
It was no great
Piece of literature,
191
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:50,330
But it did express
My feelings honestly.
192
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,999
I recall reciting
The last lines
193
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:56,036
While we were sitting
In front of the fire,
Basking in our love.
194
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:59,607
"Your lips are the flame
That consumes me
195
00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:01,374
And the candle
That lights my way."
196
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,342
Frasier, love...
197
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:03,777
Yes, dearest?
198
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,913
I've never heard
That drivel before
In my life.
199
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,022
I wonder whose lips
Those were.
200
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,905
Wow. Kelly,
That's beautiful.
201
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,374
Come on, uncle val,
I know you.
What's the gag?
202
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:35,308
Look inside.
203
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,312
Yay! A new mercedes!
204
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,051
Thank you!
205
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:45,886
Well, that looks
Like that's it.
206
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,755
What say we all
Go outside and have a look
207
00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:49,589
At some of kelly's
New cars.
208
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,094
Wait, everybody.
209
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:57,330
Woody hasn't given me
His present yet.
210
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,633
That's right, kelly.
211
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,168
Could you come
Stand over here?
212
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:03,570
I'd like to sing you
A little song
213
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:04,772
I wrote for you.
214
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,277
I should tell you
Right up front that
215
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,112
I'm not really a
Professional singer.
216
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,414
I'm more of
A vocal stylist.
217
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:15,683
The song, woody.
218
00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:16,784
Oh, right.
219
00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:32,632
* kelly, my darling,
You are my sunshine *
220
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,638
* when we're together,
I feel fine *
221
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,712
* your smile
Is so lovely *
222
00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:46,780
* your hair
Is so clean *
223
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,718
* you make me feel *
224
00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:53,854
* that the whole
World is mine *
225
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:57,891
* kelly, kelly,
Kelly, kelly *
226
00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:59,760
* kelly, kelly,
Kelly, kelly *
227
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,695
* kelly, kelly,
Kelly, kelly *
228
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:04,431
* k-e-l-l-y *
229
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:05,899
* why? Because you're *
230
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,600
* kelly, kelly,
Kelly, kelly *
231
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,036
* kelly, kelly,
Kelly, kelly *
232
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:10,904
* kelly, kelly,
Kelly, kelly *
233
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:14,775
* kelly, kelly,
Kelly of mine *
234
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,013
* mine, mine,
Mine, mine *
235
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,815
* mine, mine,
Mine, mine *
236
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:23,884
* mine, mine,
Mine, mine *
237
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:26,419
* mine, mine,
Mine, mine *
238
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:30,390
* mine *
239
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:38,932
Oh...
240
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:40,801
Woody, that
Was beautiful.
241
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:41,835
You really
Liked it?
242
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,570
I liked it
More than anything.
243
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:44,537
Thanks.
244
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,439
So, where's my gift?
245
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,556
Woody, I think
You oughta lay off.
246
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,458
How many have you had?
247
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,726
11.
248
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:10,197
11 beers?
249
00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:11,164
11 sips.
250
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:17,070
Well, that's
Plenty, woody.
You know,
251
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,273
Booze is no way
To handle
Any problems.
252
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,675
I just can't get over
The way kelly made
A fool out of me
253
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,511
In front of
All those people.
254
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:25,813
So you just left?
255
00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,314
What else
Could I do?
256
00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:29,883
I told her my present
Was out front and ran off.
257
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,686
Don't worry
About it, wood.
258
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,923
It happens
To all of us.
259
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:38,525
Really? Did mrs. Peterson
Ever make a fool out of you
260
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:39,793
In front of other people?
261
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,094
Yeah, there was
That time
262
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,163
She pulled the old
"I do" gag.
263
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,603
I just never expected this
From kelly.
264
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,305
I'm really mad at her.
265
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:57,344
She's just a rich...
A rich...
266
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:58,711
I'd like to call her
A nasty name,
267
00:12:58,711 --> 00:12:59,679
But I can't think
Of anything
268
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:03,283
That rhymes with rich.
269
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,053
You know, woody,
You're better off
Dumping her.
270
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:09,489
Rich people stink.
I hate them.
271
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:11,124
I hate their
Soft shoes.
272
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,461
The way they're
Too relaxed to sweat.
273
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:17,497
You know what I hate
Most about rich people?
274
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:20,500
I'm not one of them.
275
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,903
Yeah, carla, you sweat
Like a longshoreman.
276
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:33,280
Woody, I think you ought
To give her a second chance.
277
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,448
I mean, kelly doesn't
Know what she's doing here.
278
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,150
She was born rich.
279
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,452
All her school friends
Are rich.
280
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,021
You know, maybe she
Just can't imagine
281
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:44,091
Someone who can't afford
Something expensive.
282
00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:45,926
Did you explain it
To her?
283
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:48,028
What's the use?
I don't care anymore.
284
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,096
Don't be bitter.
285
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,398
I'm not bitter, sam.
286
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:53,366
I'm just consumed
By a gnawing hate
287
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:54,902
That's eating away
At my gut
288
00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:57,037
Until I can taste
The bile in my mouth.
289
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:03,076
Well, I guess I
Am a little bitter--
290
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,912
Either that, or I'm coming
Down with something.
291
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,514
Does anybody
Have a tic tac?
292
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:16,456
[knock on door]
293
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:19,492
Where's rebecca?
294
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:20,460
In changing.
295
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,395
I'm helping her
Remake her image.
296
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:23,997
We're planning
To crash
The power lunch
297
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,532
Going on right now
At melville's
298
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,666
To show
Those executives
299
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,035
What a real,
No-nonsense
300
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,970
Businesswoman
Looks like.
301
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,671
What does she
Look like?
302
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:32,973
Ms. Howe?
303
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:39,546
Oh, a man.
304
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:42,916
Carla,
Stop interrupting.
305
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,051
Lilith is trying
To teach me
306
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,986
How to be a hard-assed
Businesswoman.
307
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,988
The pretzel man
Wants to see you.
308
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:51,224
You talk to him.
He scares me.
309
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,592
You look wonderful,
Rebecca.
310
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:53,426
Thank you.
311
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,128
Can you breathe
In that thing?
312
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:56,496
I'm a little
Constricted.
313
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,398
Perhaps it's
The tight collar.
314
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,266
Or the ace bandage
315
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:02,669
Strapped
Around my breasts.
316
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:05,973
They interfered with
The line of your jacket.
317
00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:07,540
What do you think,
Carla?
318
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:08,641
Well, turn around.
319
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,545
Bind her butt, too.
320
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,650
Are you
Ready to sock it
321
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:18,885
To the old boys'
Network?
322
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:19,852
I am!
323
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,321
Too much inflection.
324
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,023
I am.
I'm proud of you.
325
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:32,499
Jeez. Two liliths.
326
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:35,568
This is like a nightmare
I had once.
327
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:36,603
You, too?
328
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,109
Well, that cuts it.
329
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:44,144
The whole world's
Against me.
330
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,478
What's the problem,
Cliffie?
331
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,147
Those boneheads
Down at mcdonald's
332
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:48,281
Refuse to even consider
333
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,716
The obvious
Commercial value
334
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:51,951
Of mcbeetabaga burgers.
335
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,355
For god's sake, are
You still going on
336
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,357
About your
Stupid vegetable?
337
00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:59,026
It's not
My vegetable, norm.
338
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:00,360
It belongs
To the whole world.
339
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,163
Aren't you vegetable
Enough for the world?
340
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:05,865
You are going to be
Doubting on the other side
Of your mouth pretty soon.
341
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,267
I went home
Last night
342
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:08,901
And fooled around
In the kitchen
A little bit
343
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:12,939
And came up with
Some mouth-watering
Morsels here.
344
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:13,940
Come on.
Who's going to be the first
345
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,242
To try some of
These goodies?
346
00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:17,077
We have
Beetabaga brittle,
347
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:18,211
Beetabaga burritos,
348
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,380
And for that little
Taste of cairo,
349
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,049
Beetabaga fajita
On a pita.
350
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,087
How about
A beetabaga barf bag?
351
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,593
I'd like to try one.
May I?
352
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,095
Well, you certainly may.
353
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,229
You certainly may.
354
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:39,599
Ha. A man with
A sense of adventure.
355
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:40,533
Here you go, sir.
356
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:47,640
Mm.
This is delicious.
357
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,309
Not too chalky?
358
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,277
No.
359
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:52,545
I really like
The unusual aftertaste.
360
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:55,848
That'll stay with you
For a couple of days.
361
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,250
Listen up
Down there.
362
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,119
This fine gentleman
Can teach you something.
363
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:02,055
You know, I plan to tell
The people back where
I work about these.
364
00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:03,356
Hey, hear that?
365
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,192
And I should
Know something
On the subject,
366
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:07,427
As I not only
Have a degree
In agriculture,
367
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:10,197
But I'm also
A graduate
Of the cordon bleu.
368
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:12,132
The man
Is an expert.
369
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:14,401
I'm also
An astronaut.
370
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,635
Wow.
371
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,637
Next week,
I'm going to be
The queen of spain.
372
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:30,317
Hey, frase, could you
Use another patient?
373
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:31,584
Oh, cliff,
You're harmless.
374
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:37,124
There's only one thing
Left to do--just take
This to the public.
375
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:41,628
Beetabaga fajita
On a pita?
376
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,430
No hablo español,
Señor.
377
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,803
Woody, are you ok?
378
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:53,906
I was afraid
Something awful
Had happened to you.
379
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,608
Yeah, well,
Maybe it did.
380
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:57,877
I kept waiting for you
To come back to the party.
381
00:17:57,877 --> 00:18:00,012
At first I just figured
You'd gone out onto
The front lawn
382
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:01,448
And got lost
Like last week,
383
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:05,318
But now I know
Something's wrong.
384
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,486
I'll tell you
What's wrong.
385
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:07,587
I don't have
A gift for you,
386
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,123
So why don't you
Just leave?
387
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:12,292
Ok, woody, if that's
What you want.
388
00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:15,528
No, wait, kelly.
389
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:16,729
It's not
What I want,
390
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,665
But you have
To understand
Something.
391
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:22,169
I'm just a poor
Working guy.
392
00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:24,371
Could we go someplace
And talk?
393
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:26,072
I can't leave now.
394
00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:27,140
Why not?
395
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,308
I have a job.
396
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:31,844
I know. I think
That's so cute.
397
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:32,945
I don't work
To be cute.
398
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,447
I work
To make money,
To live.
399
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,848
The cute part
Just happens.
400
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:39,786
Don't you understand?
401
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,321
I'm trying, woody.
402
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,456
There's some gifts
You can't put
In a box
403
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,293
Or hold
In your hand.
404
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:49,729
Kelly, the song
Was my gift.
405
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,931
Oh, I get it.
The song is
A riddle, right?
406
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:53,300
And if I can
Figure it out,
407
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,235
It'll tell me where
You've hidden my gift.
408
00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:59,806
I think we're
Just too different.
409
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,875
I don't think we should
See each other anymore.
410
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,244
Really?
411
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,878
Really.
412
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:08,681
I guess there isn't
Anything else to say.
413
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:16,656
Wow, I'm sorry,
Man.
414
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,191
What were you
Supposed to do,
You know,
415
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:20,860
Run out and empty
Your savings,
416
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,128
Hock everything
You won,
417
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:23,696
Spend every penny
You ever earned
418
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:26,165
Just to buy her
A silly, little
Piece of jewelry?
419
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,101
Sam, that's
A great idea.
420
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:30,637
No, wood.
421
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,472
And I thought
I was the smart one.
422
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,721
How did it go?
423
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:49,722
Well, not bad.
424
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:51,324
If I choose to
Accept their offer,
425
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:52,692
You're looking at
The new vice president
426
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,962
In charge of
The eastern seaboard.
427
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:59,266
She's lying.
I'm the vice president
Of the eastern seaboard.
428
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:01,634
Now I am
The eastern seaboard.
429
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:02,735
What a view!
430
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,249
* kelly, kelly,
Kelly, kelly *
431
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:19,018
* kelly, kelly,
Kelly, kelly *
432
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:20,753
* kelly, kelly *
433
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:23,290
Hi, kelly.
434
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,693
Happy birthday.
435
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:29,529
I thought
You never wanted
To see me again.
436
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,364
That was just a joke.
437
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:33,500
You know
My crazy dutch humor.
438
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:37,970
Here.
439
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:41,974
Woody,
You didn't have to.
440
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,914
Oh, it's a pendant.
441
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:51,451
It's a little opal
Surrounded by sand.
442
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:52,919
Those are
Crushed diamonds.
443
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:58,257
I like it.
Where's the chain?
444
00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,292
I'll have that for you
445
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:03,363
In another 18
Easy payments.
446
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:05,665
Well, let's
Go get it now.
447
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:06,966
We'll take
My new lamborghini.
448
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:10,136
It only has
3 miles on it.
449
00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:11,103
We can't go
Get it now.
450
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,605
I don't have
Any money.
451
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,808
We can just stop by
Your automatic teller
On the way.
452
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:17,644
Kelly, when I say
I don't have any money,
453
00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:19,846
I don't have any money.
454
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:20,813
Nothing in my shoe,
455
00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:23,616
Nothing
Under my mattress.
Nothing.
456
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,051
You take all the money
In all the world
457
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:26,218
And get rid of it,
458
00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:27,720
And that's how much
Money I have.
459
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:32,925
Wait a minute.
460
00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:37,063
You can't afford this,
Can you?
461
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:42,435
That's why you've
Been so upset.
462
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:44,504
Now I understand.
463
00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:46,373
It's like when daddy
Wanted to buy shell oil
464
00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:47,474
And couldn't.
465
00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:52,812
I'm sorry
I yelled at you.
466
00:21:54,381 --> 00:21:55,848
This is really sweet,
467
00:21:55,848 --> 00:22:00,853
But I can't accept it
If it's going to hurt you.
468
00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:03,255
Thanks, kelly.
469
00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:05,057
I feel really bad
About this.
470
00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:06,359
No, I'm the one.
471
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:10,062
Uh, see, I just wanted
472
00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:13,099
To give you something
That nobody else could.
473
00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:14,834
And I know I couldn't
Compete with your friends
474
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,436
When it came to
Expensive stuff,
475
00:22:16,436 --> 00:22:19,439
So I tried
That dorky song.
476
00:22:19,439 --> 00:22:21,340
It was pretty.
477
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,609
The tune
Or the words?
478
00:22:22,609 --> 00:22:24,477
The words
Especially.
479
00:22:24,477 --> 00:22:28,247
Good, because I sort of
Ripped off the tune.
480
00:22:28,247 --> 00:22:29,982
I liked it.
481
00:22:29,982 --> 00:22:32,018
Well, gee, there is
One other thing
482
00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:33,119
I wanted to give you,
483
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,488
And maybe it's even
Better than the song.
484
00:22:35,488 --> 00:22:37,924
No one else
In the world has it.
485
00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:40,326
What's that?
486
00:22:40,326 --> 00:22:41,428
Just...
487
00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:43,896
I love you.
488
00:22:54,741 --> 00:22:56,843
You're not going to say
"Where's my gift," are you?
489
00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:00,747
Oh, woody.
490
00:23:00,747 --> 00:23:03,983
You make me
Feel so ashamed.
491
00:23:03,983 --> 00:23:06,986
Your gift makes
All those others
Seem so cheap.
492
00:23:06,986 --> 00:23:10,590
Kelly, you're the best girl
In the whole world.
493
00:23:10,590 --> 00:23:11,724
And to think that
For your birthday
494
00:23:11,724 --> 00:23:13,426
I was going
To get you a porsche.
495
00:23:19,198 --> 00:23:20,733
Talk about shallow.
496
00:23:23,335 --> 00:23:24,303
All you really need
497
00:23:24,303 --> 00:23:26,305
Is to hear me
Say that
498
00:23:26,305 --> 00:23:27,540
I love you, too.
499
00:23:33,179 --> 00:23:34,080
Woody?
500
00:23:37,049 --> 00:23:37,950
Woody?
501
00:23:40,186 --> 00:23:41,153
I'm sorry.
Did you say
502
00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:42,822
Something after porsche?
35376
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