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1
00:00:01,769 --> 00:00:04,505
Frasier: cheers is filmed
Before a live
Studio audience.
2
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:08,642
Sounds great, kelly.
I'll see you saturday. Ok
3
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,644
Guess what, guys?
4
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,413
I'm going to my first
Country club dance.
5
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:13,814
Woohoo, all right.
6
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,384
Yeah, I got to check
The bus schedule.
7
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:20,188
Wait, wait, you are going out
With the boss's daughter and
You're riding on the bus?
8
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:22,323
Yeah, it's getting to be
A real drag too,
9
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:25,659
Especially when
We can't sit together.
10
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,395
Maybe I can borrow
Sam's car.
11
00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:29,697
Oh, hey, hold up
There woodster.
12
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:33,101
Lest you forget the ten
Commandments of sam malone.
13
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,135
There is commandment number
Three--
14
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,237
"Thou shalt not loan
Thy car."
15
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,705
I thought that was commandment
Number four?
16
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:41,109
That's "Honor thy hair."
17
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:44,312
I think sam might make
An exception in my case.
18
00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:46,114
Hey, sam?
19
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:48,516
Sam, can I borrow
Your car?
20
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,184
My car?
21
00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:53,254
I'll be real careful
With it.
22
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,622
I'll bring
It home early
23
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:57,691
And I'll wash it
The next day.
24
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,227
Well, food for thought.
25
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:04,732
So, wood, is he going to
Loan you the car?
26
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,800
He didn't come right out and say
It, but I like my chances.
27
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:09,303
He's in a great mood today.
28
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:20,181
Making your way
In the world today
29
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:23,417
Takes everything
You've got
30
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:25,886
Taking a break
From all your worries
31
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,723
Sure would help a lot,
32
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:35,229
Wouldn't you like
To get away
33
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:37,431
Sometimes you want to go
34
00:01:37,465 --> 00:01:42,903
Where everybody knows
Your name.
35
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:47,441
And they're always
Glad you came.
36
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:50,144
You want to be where
You can see
37
00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:52,513
Our troubles are
All the same
38
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:53,581
You want to be
39
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:57,851
Where everybody knows
Your name
40
00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:00,388
You want to go
Where people know
41
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,856
People are all
The same
42
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,258
You want to go
43
00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:06,694
Where everybody
Knows your name
44
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,578
I wish you luck woody, because
If sam does lend you that car,
45
00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:27,615
You are home free. That thing is
A rolling aphrodisiac.
46
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,683
Absolutely, you know,
Any female that rides
47
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,585
Around with sam in that car
48
00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,587
Ends up going straight
To bed with him.
49
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:35,723
I've ridden
In that car.
50
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,291
Right.
51
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:41,562
Well, I didn't
Go to bed with him.
52
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:44,698
Right and they always
Deny it afterwards.
53
00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:46,234
I hate you guys.
54
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,635
And they always cop that
Anti-male attitude.
55
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:50,404
Yeah.
56
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:52,706
Oh sammy, mind if I cut
Out for an hour,
57
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,642
I want to catch the
Last couple innings
58
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,810
Of my kid ludlow's t-ball game.
59
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,879
Hey, I thought he was the
Intellectual of the family.
60
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,414
He's into baseball, huh?
61
00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:01,849
Well, he didn't go willingly.
62
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,351
I had to trick him.
63
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,686
I used the old "Going
To the library
64
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:09,290
But running out of gas in front
Of the ball park" routine.
65
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:11,259
Seems kind of drastic,
Doesn't it?
66
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,760
Come on, sam, please I
Don't want the kid
67
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:15,463
Growing up to be a soft,
Doughy wimp
68
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:18,332
Wearing an argyle sweater
And smoking a pipe.
69
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,739
Go ahead, take off.
Don't worry about lud.
70
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,441
He'll be fine.
71
00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:30,944
Lud--that's carla's son
By bennete ludlow.
72
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:32,613
He's a cute little tyke.
73
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:34,548
Carla bore a son
To bennett ludlow,
74
00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:36,950
The eminent psychiatrist,
Your mentor?
75
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,018
Oh, this is prime dish.
76
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,787
I can't wait to
Tell the girls
77
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,955
In the sleep disorder lab.
78
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:44,325
So, carla, tell, tell.
79
00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:47,461
Have you bedded
Any other rhodes scholars?
80
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:48,962
Uh...
81
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,031
No.
82
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,000
But one egghead,
Long-distance,
83
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,034
Phone-in father
Is enough
84
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,869
For this baby factory.
85
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,771
In spite of the fact
That dr. Ludlow's work
86
00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:58,839
Takes him
Out of the country,
87
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,675
I'm sure he's
A marvelous parent.
88
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:02,976
No.
89
00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:05,613
A good parent
Is someone who's there.
90
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,715
There to help them out
With their homework,
91
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,417
There when they wake up in the
Middle of the night.
92
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,419
Crying their eyes out.
93
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:13,554
He's there with a
Bottle of bactine
94
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:17,291
When they give themselves
A bad tattoo.
95
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:18,492
Well, I've been there.
96
00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:20,861
I raised eight kids
On a waitress' salary,
97
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,464
And I want you to know
They're all good kids
98
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:24,998
And not one of them has
Had a conviction
99
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:27,301
That stood up
On appeal.
100
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,271
I stand corrected,
Carla.
101
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,343
Mom, how could you
Do that to me?
102
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:36,910
Luddy. How did you get here?
103
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,712
Did coach drop you off?
104
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:40,047
Yes.
105
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,550
Oh, then the game ended early?
So how'd you do?
106
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:46,687
Coach had me on the bench
All afternoon
107
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,456
What, you mean you didn't
Play at all?
108
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:49,723
Well, they finally
Put me in
109
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:52,059
After the kid with
The cast on his leg
110
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:55,963
And the two
Fat girls left.
111
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,097
So, what did you do?
112
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,766
I hit the ball,
113
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,469
But they still
Made fun of me.
114
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:02,903
Like everybody's
Just supposed
115
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:07,074
To know which way
To run?
116
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:09,910
I'm gonna go and
Clean up your specs.
117
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,646
Carla's got herself a real
Poindexter there, huh?
118
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:13,614
Hey, it's sad to say
119
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,549
That kids who aren't
Accepted by their peers
120
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,818
Really never learn how to get
Along with people
121
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,353
In the big grown up world.
122
00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:20,521
And why is that cliff?
123
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,022
'cause they keep boring
Everyone and
124
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,991
Driving them crazy
With long speeches
125
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,627
Filled with meaningless
Statistics?
126
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,861
Yup. Yeah.
127
00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:31,865
63% of them live lives
Of quiet desperation.
128
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:34,835
And how about those
Who sit next to them?
129
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:37,705
I'm dr. Frasier crane,
130
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,607
A friend of your father's.
131
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,009
I understand you've had
A rough afternoon.
132
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:45,813
You must never let the bullies
Of this world diminish
Your inner spirit.
133
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,815
Nor put out the fire of your
Competitive nature.
134
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:48,716
Sir,
135
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:49,417
Yes, son,
136
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:52,386
You're kneeling
On some gum.
137
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,922
Heavens,
My new gabardines.
138
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,457
You and gum.
139
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:59,793
He attracts it like a magnet.
140
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:01,662
We'll swing by our place and get
Another pair.
141
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:02,930
On our way
To the opera.
142
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,733
Which opera
Are you going to?
143
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,067
Die meistersinger.
144
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,136
Oh, I know that one.
145
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:12,840
That's where
All the master singers get
Together in nuremburg
146
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,007
And have a big contest
147
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,643
To find out
Who's best.
148
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:19,847
Oh, yeah. Kind of
Like star search.
149
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,483
Basically.
150
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,853
Frasier.
151
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,522
Frasier, I just had
A delicious idea.
152
00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:32,025
Why don't we buy an extra ticket
And take young lud to
The opera with us?
153
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:36,063
Oh, wow, great! But I have
To ask my mom.
154
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,198
Mommy, dr. Crane
And his wife
155
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,968
Invited me to go
To the opera with them.
156
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,069
You don't have
To be polite.
157
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:46,173
Just tell them
To bug off.
158
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,074
But, mom,
159
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:49,510
I want to go,
Please.
160
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:51,579
Carla, may I have
A word with you?
161
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,547
Yeah. Sammy, entertain
The kid.
162
00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:58,085
Carla, you'd be doing us
All a favor.
163
00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,821
Allowing frasier and me to spend
Some time with your son
164
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,790
Might help us to
Formulate a decision
165
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,893
That's been under much
Discussion as of late.
166
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,228
You see the two of
Us are considering
167
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,030
Whether or not we
Wish to reproduce.
168
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:16,637
You're thinking
Of having a baby, huh?
169
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:17,805
So tell me, how long
Does it take
170
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:22,242
One of your pods
To hatch anyways?
171
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,244
Listen, you want
To babysit lud,
172
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,846
Be my guest.
173
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:26,847
What's that
On your shirt?
174
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:27,715
Huh?
175
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:31,051
Oh!
176
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,853
You're good.
177
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,055
Ok luddy, you're
Going to the opera.
178
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,724
Yay!
179
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:37,858
Yeah, you're going to
Love it, kid.
180
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:40,060
So, you know that wagner,
He wrote all those pieces
181
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,495
When he was
Still deaf.
182
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:42,830
No, that was beethoven.
183
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:43,697
I meant blind.
184
00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,065
That was milton.
185
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:46,033
Then ed woods.
186
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,936
That was you.
187
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,772
Told you not
To tell anybody.
188
00:07:56,544 --> 00:08:00,113
Shouldn't they be back by now?
How long can an opera last?
189
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,014
The last one
I remember
190
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:02,816
Lasted about eight months.
191
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,988
Yeah, I just hope
Everything's all right.
192
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,857
Carla.
193
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:12,860
Look, I--I know
You love your kids
And everything.
194
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:15,262
I mean,
Like your kids.
195
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,865
I mean...I know
You have kids,
196
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:20,834
But I've never seen you
This concerned before.
197
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:21,869
Well, lud's special.
198
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,771
Yeah?
199
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,238
I mean, whenever I come
Home at night,
200
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:29,109
He always brings me a pan
Of hot water for my feet.
201
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,244
He actually asks me
How my day went.
202
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:32,245
I don't know
If I ever
203
00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:35,148
Told anybody this
Before.
204
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,551
I love him.
205
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:40,220
You don't have to be shy about
Saying that you love your kids.
206
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,121
Why didn't you just
Take out an ad
207
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:42,723
In the yellow pages?
208
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,862
Normy, I almost forgot how much
209
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,798
Sam's corvette girls
Love to whistle.
210
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:53,100
Ohh!
211
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:56,770
I wish I had a nickle for
Every time I heard that sound.
212
00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:59,707
The classic slamming
Of the door.
213
00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:08,048
So, sam still won't loan
You his car, huh?
214
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,049
No, but I'm starting
215
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:12,052
To love that man's laugh.
216
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,321
Sammy, come on, give
The kid a break, will you?
217
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,056
Just let him borrow
Your car.
218
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:18,225
Please sam, kelly is the best
Girl I've ever dated,
219
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,227
And she loves corvettes.
220
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:20,994
Well, I'll tell
You what, woody.
221
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:23,597
I'll give her a lift
In my car.
222
00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:26,066
No way, sam. Every girl who goes
For a ride in your corvette
223
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:27,968
Winds up going to bed with you.
Right, miss howe?
224
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:30,137
Oh!
225
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:35,208
Well, now she's just
Being redundant.
226
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:38,912
It's ok, sam. I understand
About the car thing.
227
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:41,715
I didn't mean to
Put you on the spot.
228
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:44,284
And I want you to know that even
Though you won't let
Me borrow your car,
229
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:45,886
There's no hard feelings.
230
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,621
And if I ever
Have a car of my own,
231
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:49,923
And you want
To borrow it,
It's yours.
232
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:51,224
Ah, I know what you're
Trying to do.
233
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,359
You're trying to
Guilt me
234
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:53,994
Into giving you
My car.
235
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,228
No, I'm not.
I wouldn't do that.
236
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,197
You're my best friend.
237
00:09:57,230 --> 00:10:00,333
Oh, man, you're scum.
238
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,703
I mean it, sam.
I love you.
239
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:06,707
Fine, here.
Take the damn car.
240
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:07,808
What just happened?
241
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,110
You outsmarted him.
242
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:13,246
So that's what
It feels like.
243
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:17,685
Mom! Mom! The opera
Was so great.
244
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:20,153
All the singing
And costumes.
245
00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:23,023
This was the best day
Of my life.
246
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:24,825
Haha, that's terrific, lud.
247
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,394
I've never seen him so excited.
Thanks, guys.
248
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,296
Oh, carla, it was
Our pleasure.
249
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:30,731
He's an extraordinary
Child.
250
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,733
Yes, we had an extensive
Discussion
251
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:33,867
On the way back.
252
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:34,935
About opera,
253
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,037
The arts, film.
254
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:40,273
Oh, carla, may we take lud to
The movies tonight?
255
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:43,043
There's a revival of
Koyaanisqatsi we'd love
Him to see.
256
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,012
And then we were thinking he
Could sleep over.
257
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,414
We could have brunch and a
Matinee of peter and the wolf.
258
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:51,351
Gee, I don't know. He's never
Stayed away from home before.
259
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:52,385
He's only 6.
260
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:57,324
Please, mommy,
Please.
261
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,859
Oh, heck.
262
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,294
You really want to go that bad,
Go, go head.
263
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,429
Have a good time.
264
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:05,365
Stay as long as you want.
See you when you get back.
265
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:09,803
Thank you, carla. We'll take
Good care of him.
266
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,374
Well, that's that.
267
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,745
I've lost my baby.
268
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,489
Listen sam, I hope it's ok that
I keep asking you this
269
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,358
But I just want to
Make sure one last time
270
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,493
That you haven't changed your
Mind about me using your car.
271
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,728
No, woody.
272
00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:35,863
No, you haven't
Changed your mind,
273
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:38,498
Or no, I can't use your car, or
No, it's not ok to ask.
274
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:42,335
No, get out of my face
Before I hurt you.
275
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:45,438
He's special.
276
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:53,313
Hey, carla,
Still listening to
That opera stuff?
277
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:54,247
She can't hear you cliff.
278
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:56,316
She's got the music
Blasting in her ear.
279
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,786
You mean she can't
Hear me if I say
280
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,822
She reminds me of a those little
Plastic troll dolls?
281
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:06,393
Hey, what's the big idea?
282
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,427
I thought you couldn't hear me.
283
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:10,163
No, but I can see,
And you're ugly.
284
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,903
So, you're still cramming all
That high q stuff
285
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:16,736
In your head?
286
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:19,039
Yeah, sammy, I don't
Have any choice.
287
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:23,343
I mean ever since
Dr. Cyclops and morticia
288
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,946
Started introducing lud to
All this culture crap,
289
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:28,248
It's like I don't have anything
To talk to him about.
290
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,482
So I'm listening
To all this music
291
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:32,953
And I am plowing through
All these books.
292
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:33,987
Look at this.
293
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,889
Good heavens, man.
294
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:39,927
History of modern art.
295
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,063
Comprehensive guide
To the world of opera.
296
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,564
Hollywood wives.
297
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,267
Yeah. I'm getting
Into literature too.
298
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:51,839
I've read this.
299
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,844
Oh, who am I
Trying to kid?
300
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,345
I'm just stupid.
301
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,013
Hey, you are not stupid.
302
00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:03,917
Oh, how would you know?
You're stupid.
303
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:07,187
If you were really stupid,
You wouldn't know that about me.
304
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,823
Good point.
305
00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:12,125
Greetings, carla, we just
Dropped your son off at home
306
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:15,395
After a lovely sojourn at
The museum of fine art.
307
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,898
You know that child
Is such a love.
308
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,300
He's so bright,
Inquisitive, creative.
309
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,602
He reminds me of myself
As a child.
310
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:26,539
Of course,
He has more hair.
311
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,208
We were wondering if
We could treat lud
312
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,377
To dinner this evening.
313
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:33,847
Come on,guys. You've had him
Out every night this week.
314
00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:36,950
Besides, I had a special
Family evening planned.
315
00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:39,186
I was going to
Cook a big bowl of pasta.
316
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,620
And we were all going
To sit around
317
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,355
And watch america's most wanted
318
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,357
And see if we could
Rat on our neighbors.
319
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,930
Yes, but, you see, carla,
This is special too.
320
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,900
I just managed to finagle
Reservations for magritte's.
321
00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,535
It's the most exclusive
Restaurant in all of boston.
322
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:56,569
I never heard of it.
323
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,873
Precisely.
324
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:02,910
Carla, please, it would mean a
Lot to the child,
325
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:07,447
And I think lud
Would enjoy it also.
326
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,949
Oh, all right.
Who cares?
327
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,885
More spaghetti
For the rest of us.
328
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:14,955
Hey, fras?
329
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:17,224
Why don't you
Invite carla
330
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:18,558
To dinner with you?
331
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:19,259
Well, now, sam, uh...
332
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,362
Carla is a fine woman
333
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:25,132
And a good friend.
334
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,133
Actually, she's neither,
And why would I want
335
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,534
To eat with her?
336
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:33,273
Frasier, dear, I think
We should invite carla.
337
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:37,110
I think it would
Be very, very nice.
338
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:38,145
Do you know what would be
339
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:40,280
Very, very nice,
Lilith?
340
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,081
If you would stop
341
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:44,317
Digging your nails
Into my palm.
342
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:45,953
I'm sure I'll choose
To see your point
343
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,554
Before you draw blood.
344
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:55,062
Carla.
345
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,497
Carla, let's say
We make it...
346
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:58,465
Four at magritte's
Tonight, huh?
347
00:14:58,498 --> 00:14:59,699
You buying?
348
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:00,400
I'm going.
349
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,970
Well, good.
We're on then.
350
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:04,237
We'll call for you
At 8:00.
351
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:06,573
And by the way carla,
352
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:09,977
Please bear in mind
This is a very...
353
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:12,412
Posh establishment, hmm?
354
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:13,346
Need I say more?
355
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:16,149
Oh, no. I get the picture
Loud and clear.
356
00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:17,584
I'll shave my legs.
357
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,591
I hope this table is
Satisfactory.
358
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,493
Oh, this is wonderful.
359
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:29,496
You know, the place is just
As I'd heard it was.
360
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:30,563
It's delightful.
361
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,537
Everything looks
Absolutely exquisite.
362
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:41,174
The menu is a delightful
Combination of...
363
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,075
Nouvelle
364
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,476
And provincial
365
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:46,713
With a nod toward
Domestic ingredients.
366
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,349
And get a load of
All this ambiance.
367
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:50,450
Whoa.
368
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:53,086
The artwork
Is stunning.
369
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:57,190
Yes, well, there's a delightful
Example of modern art.
370
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:59,192
If I might venture
A guess,
371
00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:00,393
I would say...
372
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:02,562
It's a schnabel.
373
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:05,298
It isn't,
But, even if it was,
374
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:06,733
It would be pronounced,
"Shnahbel."
375
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:09,136
Excuse me. It's a little
Hard to tell
376
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:13,073
This far from
Our "Tahble."
377
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:16,443
That's funny, mom.
378
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,545
Ludlow, please remember,
We're not here to have fun,
379
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:21,481
We're here
To enjoy ourselves.
380
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:22,515
Now, would it
Please everyone
381
00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:24,284
If I ordered
For the whole table?
382
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,286
It would
Be delightful.
383
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,354
Thank you.
384
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,422
Now, I know that lilith's
Delicate constitution
385
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,191
Is not amenable
To shallots.
386
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,093
Is there anything else
I should be mindful of?
387
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:35,428
How considerate
Of you to ask frasier.
388
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:38,398
Actually, I have a delicate
Constitution as well.
389
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,467
No extra-heavy
Barbecue sauce.
390
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,603
I'll be repeating
Like a howitzer.
391
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:51,311
Delightful.
392
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,783
This sure beats taking
The bus, doesn't it.
393
00:16:56,816 --> 00:17:00,153
Just you and me
And the open road.
394
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:07,594
I'm getting kind of
Tired of driving.
395
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,396
What do you say
We park somewhere
396
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,531
And look at the stars
For a while?
397
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:14,801
Oh, that sounds nice,
Woody.
398
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:17,437
Hey, sam, where's a good place
To go next?
399
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:19,506
Make a right
At the light
400
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:22,609
And not so fast
This time!
401
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:31,518
Thank you.
402
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:32,852
Oh, and please tell paul
403
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:36,089
That the salad course
Was an absolute treasure.
404
00:17:36,123 --> 00:17:37,790
His subtle,
Yet assertive dressing
405
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:40,193
Was perfectly balanced
The arugula.
406
00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:44,297
I concur in spades.
407
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:48,568
He'll be pleased
To hear it.
408
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,303
Well....
409
00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,705
Shall we
Bouillabaisse?
410
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:53,740
Now,
411
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:57,110
Smell the piquant bouquet.
412
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:59,346
Taste it on every
Part of your tongue
413
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,748
And then let it just dance
Down your throat.
414
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,783
Frasier, as usual,
Your anticipation
415
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:07,254
Is interfering
With my enjoyment.
416
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:14,261
Yeah. Eddie has
That problem, too.
417
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:20,567
Ludlow,
You're not eating.
418
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:24,804
None for me,
Thanks, dr. Crane.
419
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:27,374
He doesn't
Like fish.
420
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:29,309
Look, carla, this
Is not something
421
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,477
That comes out of
Your cupboard
422
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:34,414
In a tin can
With a mermaid on it.
423
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,284
This is fruit de mer.
424
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:40,820
$32 a pop, I think the lad
Should give it a try.
425
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,691
Now, ludlow,
426
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,726
You've been very
Open-minded about
Everything else.
427
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,761
Make him happy.
Take a bite.
428
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:49,696
If you don't like it,
429
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:53,433
You can spit it out in
Your napkin. See?
430
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:57,270
Carla, we're not here
To make me happy.
431
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,739
We are here to enrich
The lad's experience
432
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,308
Which, if I must say so,
433
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,243
I do believe
Is my province.
434
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:06,746
Now lud, you know we all
435
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:10,383
Have certain things
We don't like.
436
00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:12,719
I detested fish
When I was a child.
437
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,487
But I kept eating it and
438
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:16,456
Finally, I overcame
My aversion.
439
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:17,390
Likewise.
440
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:21,594
When I first met frasier,
I detested him.
441
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,797
Yes, but the point is
442
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,899
You love me now.
443
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:29,902
And lud will love
Bouillabaisse.
444
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,871
Try it.
445
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:34,541
Ok.
446
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,646
Ick! Fish.
447
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,781
You barely tasted
The broth.
448
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,250
Give it a better
Chance than that.
449
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,818
No. I want
A hamburger.
450
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,654
This restaurant
Does not serve
451
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,790
Hamburgers.
452
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:52,725
Now eat your
Bouillabaisse.
453
00:19:52,759 --> 00:20:00,600
No! This fishy soup stinks,
And I hate it.
454
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:03,670
What an imp?
455
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:04,671
Luddy?
456
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:05,705
What are you doing?
457
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,607
I'm gonna try to get him out
From under there.
458
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,577
No, carla, carla, that's exactly
What he wants you to do.
459
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:13,280
One must not play
The game by his rules.
460
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,714
Now, I've taught
A seminar or two
461
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,383
On developmental
Behavior.
462
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,751
And the first rule in these
Acting-out situations
463
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:21,654
Is to simply ignore
The offending child.
464
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:23,323
Just pretend that
He doesn't exist.
465
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:25,525
Eventually he'll get
Bored and come out.
466
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,860
So...
467
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,929
What a lovely meal.
468
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:36,636
Mmm. You know, I heard that the
Chef here was a protege of..
469
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,805
Do you smell something burning?
470
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:42,975
Yes. That's my shoe.
471
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,511
I heard that
He was a protege of--
472
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:45,678
Your shoe
Is on fire?
473
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:46,779
Yes.
474
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,448
Isn't that painful?
475
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:52,819
Excruciating.
476
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,721
But I'm not going
To give the child
477
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:58,758
The pleasure of
Hearing me cry out.
478
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:00,827
So...
479
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,395
You see, it seems
He was educated
480
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:04,030
In a small village
On the rhine.
481
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:06,032
He...
482
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:08,735
Oh lud,
483
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,738
One hot foot
484
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,841
Might be considered
A puckish prank,
485
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,909
But if you light
That other match,
486
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:19,379
It is the end
Of our tutelage.
487
00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:23,416
Is that
Perfectly clear?
488
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:24,617
That's it!
489
00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:26,018
That's it!
I've had it!
490
00:21:26,052 --> 00:21:27,887
That 1/7
Of an inch of--
491
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,021
Frasier, everyone thinks
492
00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:32,291
You're arguing
With your clams.
493
00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:44,504
Is there
A problem here?
494
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:45,838
No, no, of course not.
495
00:21:45,872 --> 00:21:47,474
The boy just slipped
Under the table.
496
00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:50,610
And his mother was about to
Get him out.
497
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,345
His mother.
498
00:21:52,379 --> 00:21:55,415
Uh, yes. Carla, could
You take care of this?
499
00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:58,418
Gee, I--I don't know
If I could.
500
00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:02,088
I've never taken
A psychology seminar.
501
00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:04,023
Sir, we have a very nice
Table in the kitchen.
502
00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:10,897
Please, carla.
Please, please.
503
00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:11,964
Hey, lud,
504
00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:13,099
Burger time.
505
00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:16,569
Yay!
506
00:22:16,603 --> 00:22:21,841
Hot food, huh? My genes
Must be in there somewhere.
507
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:24,110
Let's go, mommy.
508
00:22:24,143 --> 00:22:27,580
First, apologize
To dr. Crane.
509
00:22:27,614 --> 00:22:28,948
I'm sorry, dr. Crane.
510
00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:31,784
I guess I shouldn't
Have acted this way.
511
00:22:31,818 --> 00:22:33,953
Well, no hard feelings, son.
512
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:34,887
Let's have dinner
Again sometime
513
00:22:34,921 --> 00:22:36,088
When you're
About, oh...
514
00:22:36,122 --> 00:22:39,058
In your late 30s.
515
00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:39,692
Goodbye.
516
00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:40,860
Bye.
517
00:22:43,563 --> 00:22:46,098
I was wondering, do you
Have frog legs?
518
00:22:46,132 --> 00:22:47,033
Why, yes.
519
00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:50,703
Wear nice pants. No one will
Ever notice.
520
00:22:50,737 --> 00:22:51,938
I always wanted
To do that.
521
00:22:51,971 --> 00:22:54,541
You're the best mommy
In the world.
522
00:22:54,574 --> 00:22:57,644
Yeah, tell me something
I don't know.
523
00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:01,514
You know lilith,
I think we've all
524
00:23:01,548 --> 00:23:02,782
Learned something
Here tonight.
525
00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:04,116
I'm going to try to
Tell you what it is
526
00:23:04,150 --> 00:23:06,719
Before you coat my blistering
Feet with butter
527
00:23:06,753 --> 00:23:08,788
And drop me off at
The emergency room.
528
00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:19,832
You see...
529
00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:20,733
This incident has
Made something
530
00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:22,769
Very clear to me.
531
00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:25,938
I believe my initial
Instincts were correct.
532
00:23:25,972 --> 00:23:28,641
We shouldn't
Have children.
533
00:23:28,675 --> 00:23:29,842
I don't think I'd
Make a good father.
534
00:23:29,876 --> 00:23:32,011
I don't want
To be a father.
535
00:23:32,044 --> 00:23:35,982
I'll never be a father.
End of discussion.
536
00:23:36,015 --> 00:23:38,785
Frasier, I'm pregnant.
537
00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:41,554
I'm going to
Be a daddy?
538
00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:42,822
I'm going to
Be a daddy!
539
00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:44,657
Oh, lilith, we must come
Here more often.
38211
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