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1
00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:04,338
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,806
I'm sorry, dr. Crane.
3
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:07,841
I just don't understand
This word association stuff.
4
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,944
Allow me to demonstrate.
Now, I'll say a word,
5
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:13,381
Then you say the first
Word you think of.
6
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:15,549
Norm, we'll start
With you.
7
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:16,717
Over.
8
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:17,785
Under.
9
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:18,819
Inside.
10
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:20,454
Uh, outside.
11
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:21,422
Bottom.
12
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:22,323
Thermostat.
13
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:27,461
If you can make
Any sense of that,
14
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,430
I got a sawbuck here
With your name on it.
15
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:31,499
Ok. You're on. It might not
Be a total non sequitur.
16
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:34,702
Let me see. Perhaps in
The house woody grew up in,
17
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:37,138
The thermostat was
At the bottom of the stairs.
18
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,839
Actually,
It was in the kitchen.
19
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,774
I'll take
Cash or check.
20
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,510
No, no, or, uh...
Well,
21
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:45,213
The heater may have
Been in the cellar,
22
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,680
And so was at the
Bottom of the house.
23
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:47,648
Nope.
24
00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:49,049
Thermostat's difficult
To spell.
25
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,285
Woody was at the
Bottom of his class?
26
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:53,754
Woody, did you
Turn up the heat
Again?
27
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:54,922
Yes, miss howe.
28
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:56,824
I told you it's
Too hot in here.
29
00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:57,858
Now, if you keep
Turning it up,
30
00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,127
I have to keep
Turning it down.
31
00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:00,228
That wouldn't be
A problem,
32
00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:01,395
But they
Put the damn
Thermostat
33
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,763
In such an
Awkward place.
34
00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:06,066
I can...
35
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:10,070
Barely reach it.
36
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,239
Sorry, miss howe.
37
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,616
* sometimes
You wanna go *
38
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:26,187
* where everybody
Knows your name *
39
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:32,760
* and they're always
Glad you came *
40
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,429
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
41
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,865
* our troubles
Are all the same *
42
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:42,270
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name *
43
00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:04,192
Frasier, where the hell
Have you been?
44
00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:06,727
You were supposed
To pick me up at the airport.
45
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:10,130
Well, uh, I didn't do
A very good job of it,
Did I?
46
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,435
Well,
Welcome home, dear.
47
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:15,403
Where have you been?
48
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:17,205
Paris. Perhaps you remember.
49
00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:19,940
We liberated it
During the war.
50
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,775
Now that I recall,
You did say
Something about it.
51
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,544
Well, I've just
Been so damn busy.
52
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,480
You do...Forgive me,
Don't you?
53
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,283
Of course. I could never
Stay mad at you.
54
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:30,651
Well, how was paris?
55
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,886
It was thrilling.
The city of light.
56
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:33,854
Here.
57
00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,055
What's this?
58
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:36,324
A souvenir.
59
00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:38,526
I'm tired of
Your pin-striped boxers.
60
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:40,961
They're dull,
Unimaginative,
And bourgeois.
61
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,496
Well, they always
Speak very highly
Of you.
62
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:52,740
An eye patch.
63
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:57,845
No, you ninny.
It's french underwear.
64
00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,681
It doesn't leave much
To the imagination there,
65
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,450
Does it, frase?
66
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:03,951
Not that I was
Imagining anything.
67
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:09,923
They're all the rage
In paris.
68
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,426
They sell them everywhere.
I bought these
At the louvre.
69
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:13,694
Well, dearest...
70
00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:17,365
I do appreciate
The gift, but...
71
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:19,066
I don't know
If they're
Really me.
72
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,869
Well, don't make up
Your mind before
You even try them on.
73
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,904
Yeah, what do
You say, frase?
Strap 'em on.
74
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:27,708
Well, I suppose
I could slip
75
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,677
Into the bathroom
For a moment.
76
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:30,444
Oh, frasier, do.
77
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,712
[telephone rings]
78
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,747
Say,
What am I gonna do
With the old pair?
79
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,916
Save them.
I'm making
A memory quilt.
80
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,422
Sam, phone for you.
81
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,023
It's judy.
82
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,224
Judy.
83
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,726
Hi!
84
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,795
Well, of course
I remember you.
85
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:48,762
You're kidding me?
86
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,331
Why, that's just
Around the corner.
87
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,565
Listen, why don't
You come on over?
88
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:55,836
We could replay all
The old memories.
89
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,204
All right.
90
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:58,306
Judy who?
91
00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:02,443
She didn't say, sam.
92
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:04,177
How many judys
Have you dated?
93
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:06,747
Well, let's see.
There was
Judy johnson, right?
94
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,482
The tall redhead,
Remember?
95
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,017
She had freckles,
Great legs.
96
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:12,085
Yeah. There was
Judy patinski.
97
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,053
Oh, yeah.
98
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,455
Judy chang.
99
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:15,823
Wait a minute,
Wait a minute.
How come you guys
100
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,758
Remember my love life
Better than I do?
101
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,460
I think
It meant more
To us, sammy.
102
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,299
Wasn't there, um...
103
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:26,700
A judy marlowe?
104
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,303
Oh, that's the one.
I remember now.
105
00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:30,938
Sammy,
Hot stuff.
106
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,239
You betcha.
107
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,074
God, did we have
Great times.
108
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:35,743
I remember all
The playgrounds,
109
00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:37,911
The circuses,
The pony rides.
110
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,212
Excuse me, sam.
111
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:42,049
Exactly how old
Was this judy?
112
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:43,016
No, no.
She was a divorcee.
113
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:44,652
She had
This little girl.
114
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:47,788
Must be about, what, 15 years
Since I've seen the two of them.
115
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,257
Just in case she comes in here
And she's not very good-looking,
116
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,660
Will you do me a favor,
Pretend like you're my wife?
117
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:56,163
Ok. Give me
All the money
In your wallet.
118
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:57,398
Carla, what
Are you doing?
119
00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:58,499
I'm practicing.
120
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:04,137
Lilith, I have only
One thing to say to you.
121
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,439
Vive la difference!
122
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:11,945
Woody,
I asked you
123
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,914
To bring up
A case of scotch
15 minutes ago.
124
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,116
Now, will you
Just do it, please?
125
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,985
Sorry, miss howe.
Right away.
126
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,654
Whoa! Get up
On the wrong side
Of the web?
127
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:26,794
No. I am just sick
And tired of the way I'm
Treated by this company.
128
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:27,761
They're trying
To break my spirit,
129
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:28,729
To bring me
To my knees.
130
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:29,930
They want to see
How long
131
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,832
It's gonna take
Before I say I quit.
132
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,934
Why, what are they
Wanting you to do now?
133
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:35,536
Throw a party.
134
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:37,905
Oh, my god,
These people
Must be stopped.
135
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:44,211
I'm supposed
To throw a kiddie party
For the executives' brats.
136
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:47,548
I'll show them.
I am gonna throw the best
Damn party of the year.
137
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:50,718
I am gonna have the best
Food, the best games--
138
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:53,153
Does anybody know
Where I can hire
A professional clown?
139
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,556
Would you settle for
A couple of amateurs
With red noses?
140
00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,827
Say, you know
Who you should
Hire? Woody.
141
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:02,930
He's an actor,
At least a perennial
Understudy.
142
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:05,899
That's not a bad idea.
I wonder if woody's
Interested.
143
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,067
Woody.
144
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:10,303
I have to hire a clown
For a children's party.
145
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,540
Do you think you could
Handle the part?
146
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:15,042
Handle the part?
147
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,811
I've always wanted
To play a clown.
148
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:18,979
You hear that,
Everybody?
149
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,714
I get to be a clown!
150
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,551
I'm a clown!
I'm a clown!
I'm a clown!
151
00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,222
Sam?
152
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,090
Judy?
153
00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:36,129
Oh, wow!
What a relief!
154
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:37,765
What are you
Talking about?
155
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,900
Well, it's been 15
Years since we've
Seen each other,
156
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:44,472
And you look just
As good as I do.
157
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:45,973
Hey! How you been?
158
00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:46,840
I've been great.
159
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,141
Come over here.
Sit down.
160
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,010
Carla, let's have
Some white wine, please.
161
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:50,978
Guess what?
162
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:51,979
What?
163
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:53,847
My daughter laurie
Came along to say hi.
164
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,449
I'd love to see
Her again.
165
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,818
Weren't the three of us--
Didn't we have fun together?
166
00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,787
You were always
A great uncle sammy.
167
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:02,623
A lot of men
Get jealous. They
Don't want to share.
168
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:05,826
Hey, I hope I never
Get so possessive
That I'm not willing--
169
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,495
Hi, mom.
170
00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:08,729
To share.
171
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,766
Sam, you
Remember laurie.
172
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,301
Hi.
173
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:15,569
Wow!
174
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:18,438
God! You
Used to be so...
175
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,507
And now she's so...
176
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,509
So, uh...
177
00:07:21,509 --> 00:07:23,410
Hey! How are you?
178
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,712
I'm fine, mr. Malone.
179
00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:26,246
Mr. Malone?
Hey, come on.
180
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:29,483
I'm the same guy
That used to push you
In the swings
181
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,051
And give you
Piggyback rides
182
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,186
And played with you
In the bathtub.
183
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:34,221
No, that was me.
184
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,356
Oh, right, right.
185
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:39,226
Whoa. Look at
The two of you!
186
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,729
Look at
The three of us.
187
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:43,463
Let's look at
The two of you again.
188
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,235
I know you two have
A lot of catching up to do,
189
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:50,804
But it was really good
To see you again, sam.
190
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,305
Oh, wow! I just flashed
On the way
191
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:55,175
You used to make me
Hold your hand
Crossing the street.
192
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,309
Anyway, I'll see you.
193
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,546
Wait! Where are you going?
What's the rush?
194
00:07:58,546 --> 00:07:59,913
Why is my voice
So high?
195
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,651
Listen.
I got an idea.
196
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:05,118
Why don't, uh...
197
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,887
Why don't the three
Of us, uh...
198
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:09,289
Do one of those things
We used to do
In the old days?
199
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,559
You know,
Get an ice cream cone
Together or something?
200
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:12,926
I would love that.
201
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,427
Do you know
Something, sam?
What?
202
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:17,230
I am really glad that I picked
Up the phone and called you.
203
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,532
Oh, me, too.
204
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,538
Come on,
Uncle sammy!
205
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,474
There's a lot
Of traffic out there.
206
00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:28,742
Ha ha ha!
207
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,513
Looks like sammy's
Heading for trouble.
208
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,849
Yeah. Looks like
Kind of a fun trip,
Though, doesn't it?
209
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:43,456
Carla, did you have
The soft drinks
210
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:45,826
Delivered to
Mrs. Ridgeway's house
For the party tomorrow?
211
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:47,494
Ah, yeah.
Four cases.
212
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:48,495
Kids will
Be burping
213
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:51,064
All through
Woody's act.
214
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:51,932
Don't worry.
215
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:55,135
With this outfit
And these props,
216
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,671
I'm gonna have those kids
Rolling on the floor.
217
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:58,939
Rolling around
And burping.
218
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:01,775
Now there's
An attractive image for you.
219
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,977
You know, woody,
I envy you.
I really do.
220
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,013
Creating laughter
Can be a healing art.
221
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:09,416
Sometimes a clown can do
Better than a psychiatrist.
222
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:12,119
Yeah, and you can fit
More of them
Into a little car.
223
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,924
Got my funny horn,
Squirting flower,
224
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:19,092
My joke book.
Can't miss.
225
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:22,630
Oh, yeah? Let's see an example
Of a joke that can't miss.
226
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:24,998
"Did you hear about
The human cannonball?
227
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:28,869
"It's hard to find
A man of his caliber."
228
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:33,073
Well, I don't hear
Any hilarity ensuing
There, woodman.
229
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,408
You have to try both
At the same time,
230
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,410
The props
And the jokes.
231
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,746
Try it again.
232
00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:41,715
Look, this is going
To be flop city.
233
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:43,817
"Did you hear about
The human cannonball?
234
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,986
It's hard to find
A man of his caliber."
235
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:46,887
[honk]
236
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:57,097
See? Can't miss.
237
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,432
Let me try this.
This looks like fun.
238
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,534
All right.
"You hear about
The sword-swallower
239
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:04,171
Who only eats
Penknives because
He's on a diet?"
240
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,072
[honk]
241
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:15,082
All right.
You think that's funny?
242
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:15,849
Go ahead, norm.
243
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,350
Do another one.
244
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,152
All right.
245
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,922
"Hear about the
Tightrope-walker
Who went nuts?
246
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,424
They had to throw
A net under him."
247
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:25,325
[honk]
248
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,867
You know,
You're right.
249
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,335
It is funnier
When you do it.
250
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,141
Here we go.
251
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,076
Thanks, uncle sammy.
That was great.
252
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,577
I've got to get
To aerobics class.
253
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,545
I'll call you
Tonight, mom.
254
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,180
Bye, honey.
255
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,116
God, kids are fun.
256
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,951
Mmm.
257
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:53,553
I especially loved
Taking her to that
Department store,
258
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:55,689
And watching her little
Face light up.
259
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,124
Obviously.
260
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:58,959
Hey, come on.
What's the matter
With you?
261
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:01,762
I'm getting a little tired
Of having you invite laurie
Along with us
262
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,363
Everywhere we go.
263
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,531
Aw, now, come on.
264
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:07,500
Mommy needs
A little quality time
For herself.
265
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,969
Well, sweetheart,
266
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:12,172
All you had to do
Was ask. Listen.
267
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,174
What do you say I pick
You up around 8:00?
268
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:17,144
Just the two of us
All evening.
269
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,211
Adults only.
270
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:23,817
Caution. Some scenes
May be unsuitable
271
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,385
For immature viewers.
272
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,686
I'll close my eyes.
273
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,061
Oh, god!
274
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:36,529
Why? What?
275
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,065
What's the matter?
276
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:40,333
I guess I'm remembering
What happened
The last time
277
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:43,003
You tried
To pitch both ends
Of a doubleheader.
278
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,941
Oh, boy.
Is it that obvious?
279
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,010
I think it was
The drooling that
Gave you away.
280
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,413
Yeah. Well,
The thing is
281
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:56,016
That I'm really
Attracted to laurie
282
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:57,684
And I want
To ask her out
283
00:11:57,684 --> 00:12:00,220
But I don't want to stop
Dating the mother
At the same time.
284
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:03,290
I mean, it's like
A real problem, you know.
285
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:04,224
Gee.
286
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,059
Must be a burden
Being so sensitive.
287
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:11,331
Uh. Sammy,
Door number two.
288
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,568
Hey, laurie.
What'd you do?
Forget something?
289
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,737
Well, my class was canceled,
So I was going to find mom
290
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,039
And see if she wanted
To grab some lunch,
291
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:20,107
But I guess she
Already left, huh?
292
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:21,141
Yeah. Just a few
Minutes ago.
293
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,442
Oh, well.
It's no biggie.
294
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,144
Well, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Listen.
295
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,179
If you have
A couple of minutes
On your hand here,
296
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,347
I'm about due
For a break,
297
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:28,315
Aren't I, rebecca?
298
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:29,516
Hell, yes.
299
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:32,585
You've been back at work
For almost five minutes.
300
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,254
Wouldn't it
Be a hoot
301
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:38,591
If your uncle took you
Back to the same zoo,
But 15 years later?
302
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,626
How about it, guys?
303
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:41,061
Would that be
A hoot or what?
304
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,332
Uncle sammy,
You're too much.
305
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,034
I'll go bring
The car around.
306
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:50,270
Great. I'll meet
You up there, ok?
Just a minute.
307
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,339
Zoos are kind of sad,
You know?
308
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,206
Yeah.
309
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,408
All those
Sedentary animals--
310
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:56,977
Can't move,
Can't run free,
311
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:58,411
They just sit.
312
00:12:58,411 --> 00:12:59,746
Sit there and drink
313
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,882
And shovel food
In their faces.
314
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,485
Man, that is
No kind of life.
315
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:13,693
Sam, you're trying to date
Your girlfriend's daughter.
316
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:18,398
Isn't there a little voice
In the back of your mind
Trying to tell you something?
317
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,000
A little voice?
318
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,902
Your conscience.
319
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,236
My conscience?
320
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,204
You mean--
321
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,505
You mean,
Like jiminy cricket?
322
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:30,177
Well, ok.
323
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,244
Well, yeah.
As a matter of fact,
324
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:33,146
I do hear
This little voice,
325
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,515
But it's not coming
From the direction
Of my brain.
326
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:40,687
Sammy,
327
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:41,821
You better
Be careful.
328
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,590
You see, even carla
Agrees with me.
329
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:47,194
No. I'm just worried
That he's gonna blow it
With both chicks.
330
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:48,862
How?
331
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:51,098
Mothers and
Daughters talk
To each other.
332
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:54,101
Well,
Not in my family,
But usually.
333
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:56,369
Sweetheart, I've handled
Trickier situations
334
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:57,204
Than this before.
335
00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:58,705
You remember
That time I dated
336
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:02,075
Those lovely
Henshaw triplets all
At the same time?
337
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,011
Sammy, first of all,
338
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:06,880
That was back when
You were drinking like a fish.
339
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,448
And second of all,
340
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:09,549
That was one chick.
341
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:31,304
Frasier, uh,
You ok, bud?
342
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:34,074
I'm a little concerned
Here, norm.
343
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,443
My fingers are tingling.
344
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:38,045
My hand's numb.
345
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,379
My feet are cold.
346
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,914
Either I'm having
A heart attack,
347
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:43,316
Or this new french
Underwear lilith gave me
Is too tight.
348
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:47,320
Ah.
349
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,022
Ah. Cancel
The paramedics.
350
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:53,326
All right.
All right.
351
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:55,828
All right! I'm
Going on tonight.
I'm going on.
352
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:57,097
What, you mean
In your theater group?
353
00:14:57,097 --> 00:15:00,133
Yeah, yeah.
The lead has
A fever of 106.
354
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,768
The rest of the cast
Tried to drag him
Out of bed,
355
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:02,902
But he kept
Falling down.
356
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,137
I get to go on.
357
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,141
Woody, are you
Ready to go?
358
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:09,977
We're gonna be late
For the kiddie party.
359
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:11,778
Oh, miss howe,
I hate
To let you down,
360
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,046
But I can't be
Your clown.
361
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:15,949
I'm playing
Marc antony.
362
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:18,618
"Friends, romans,
Countrymen..."
363
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,520
What are you
Talking about?
364
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,421
Countrymen--
365
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,922
People who live
Outside the city.
366
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,791
You know--shepherds,
367
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:26,193
Farmers, ranchers.
368
00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:27,427
Woody, you can't
Desert me like this.
369
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,262
I don't have time
To get anyone else.
370
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,630
This is the chance
He's been waiting--
371
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,465
Butt out.
372
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,867
You are the one who
Insisted I hire him
In the first place.
373
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,036
I was merely
Suggesting--
374
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,005
Where am I gonna get
Another clown now?
375
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:39,506
I am ruined, and
It's your fault.
376
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:41,041
You're the one who
Got me in this mess,
377
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,309
You owe me a clown.
378
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,146
Where do you think
I can find one now?
379
00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:47,480
Frasier,
Weren't you the one
380
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,049
Who said how much
You envied woody?
381
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,450
Well, yes,
I did say that, but--
382
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,252
And that clowns
Do more good
Than psychiatrists?
383
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,453
Oh, surely,
You're not suggesting--
384
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,388
Yeah,
You'll be great,
Dr. Crane.
385
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:57,757
Stuff's
All right here
In this box.
386
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,359
You can't miss.
387
00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:00,493
Me?
388
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:03,296
You want me to don
The jester's motley?
389
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,664
It's got
To be you,
Dr. Crane.
390
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,633
It takes a
Big man to fill
These shoes.
391
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,237
Well, why not?
392
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:12,939
I mean, they're
Just children after all.
393
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,507
I always have had
A special rapport
394
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,209
With wee people.
395
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:17,744
Where's the harm?
396
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,812
All right.
Let's go, frasier.
We're late already.
397
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,681
Oh, here's
Your outfit.
398
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,616
Oh, gee, woody, I haven't
Had time to rehearse.
399
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,452
I don't know anything
About being a clown.
400
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,654
Got any last-minute
Advice for me?
401
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:28,688
Just be yourself.
402
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,225
Ah. Words of wisdom.
403
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,562
Well, I'm
Out of here, ok?
404
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:38,365
You think bozo the shrink
Can really cut it?
405
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:39,966
Are you kidding?
That stuff is foolproof.
406
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:43,303
The squirting flower,
The horn, the trick
Handkerchief--
407
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:46,373
What trick handkerchief?
You never showed us that.
408
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:48,441
That's the best one
Of all.
409
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,777
You pull the handkerchief
Out of your pocket,
410
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,445
And your pants
Fall down.
411
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:57,517
Underneath I'm wearing
412
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:01,388
These ridiculous
Big red polka-dot shorts.
413
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,457
It's a riot.
414
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,427
You mean,
Frasier's supposed
415
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:08,795
To be wearing
Those shorts?
416
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,533
Oh, no.
417
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,035
I forgot to give
My underwear to dr. Crane.
418
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,437
I should call--
Oh, no.
419
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:18,638
No, I got to get
To the theater.
420
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,807
Listen, carla. Somebody
Should warn him.
421
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,509
Would you call him?
422
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:23,410
Of course.
423
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,889
Ok, kids, you say
Hi to binky.
424
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,592
Hi, binky.
Hi, binky.
425
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:45,865
Binky, do your act.
426
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,467
I don't have an act.
I'm a psychiatrist.
427
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,574
Show them
Your funny feet.
428
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,910
I can't.
I've got
These big shoes on.
429
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,412
Oh, I see
What you mean.
430
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:02,682
Say, kids, what do you
Think of these feet?
431
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:03,516
I got such big feet
432
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,185
Because my mother
Was a goose.
433
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,319
Want to hear me honk?
434
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:12,792
The real clown
Was killed.
435
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:18,798
Rebecca,
What am I gonna do?
436
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,700
I don't know what
You're gonna do,
437
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,102
But you better think
Of something quick
'cause you're mak--
438
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,138
Do the flower deal.
439
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:26,239
Oh. You mean this.
440
00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:31,144
Hey, they like it.
441
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,279
You want to see
That again, kids?
442
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:33,646
Yeah!
Yeah!
443
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,452
I'm a clown.
I'm a clown.
444
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,495
Hey, guys,
445
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,563
Wait till you hear this.
446
00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:53,233
I'm sitting at a table
In this restaurant
447
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,567
With judy and laurie.
448
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,037
The mother reaches over
And grabs my knee,
449
00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:00,907
And says,
"Sam, I want you."
450
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,442
Get out.
451
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:04,444
Then, I feel the daughter
Reaching over
452
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,346
And grabbing
My other knee.
453
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:08,315
She says, "I want you,
Too, sammy."
454
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,751
Well, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
455
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:12,752
Then I woke up.
456
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,491
You know what this dream
Means, don't you?
457
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:22,562
Mm-hmm. It means
You even dream
Better than we do.
458
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,531
No. It means
That frasier's right,
459
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,933
That my conscience
Is getting to me.
460
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,134
I must feel bad
461
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:30,069
That I'm going out
With this woman
462
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:33,240
While I'm trying to
Score with her daughter
At the same time.
463
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,275
Sammy,
You're scaring me.
464
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,244
How do you think I feel?
465
00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:39,579
This hasn't ever
Happened to me before.
466
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:41,981
You don't think that...
467
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,250
That I'm
Getting scruples?
468
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,353
Now, you just stop it
Right there, buddy boy.
469
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:47,787
You're talking crazy.
470
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:51,458
Damn it.
I really hate this.
471
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:52,759
I keep hearing
This little voice
472
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:55,194
And this time it's
Coming from my brain.
473
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,696
It won't shut up.
474
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,731
I got this feeling that it's
Going to keep nagging me
475
00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:01,067
Until I just
Do the right thing
476
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:03,169
And break it off
With the daughter.
477
00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:05,605
Whoa. Wait.
Sammy, sammy, listen.
478
00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:08,040
I could probably weather
This scruples stuff,
479
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,576
But the guys,
480
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:12,845
I mean, they look up
To you so much.
481
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:14,281
Sammy. Sammy.
482
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:16,316
Please.
Reconsider, ok?
483
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,551
A mother
And her daughter.
484
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,887
This was gonna be
Something I could tell
My grandchildren.
485
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:27,026
Um, sam, sam, sam.
486
00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:28,227
Listen, guys.
487
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:31,063
I just have to do
The right thing here.
488
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,465
Hi.
Hi.
489
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:33,533
What are you doing?
490
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:35,635
I want to talk to you.
491
00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:38,738
I hope I'm doing
The right thing
Coming to you.
492
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,374
My mom doesn't
Know I'm here.
493
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:42,642
I don't know
How to ask you this.
494
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:44,744
I've never done it before.
495
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,646
Ooh.
Ooh.
496
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:49,181
Go on.
497
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:50,883
Sam, when I was
A little girl,
498
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:54,253
I used to think you were
The most wonderful man
In the whole world,
499
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,255
And I still do.
500
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,924
But I'm not
A little girl anymore.
501
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:01,294
Ooh.
Ooh.
502
00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:02,995
Could you wait
A minute?
503
00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:03,896
I'll be right back.
504
00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:06,966
Remember
Those scruples?
505
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:07,967
To the showers.
506
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:14,841
Say, laurie...
507
00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:18,578
I want to tell you
How happy I am
That you feel
508
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:19,812
You can come
And talk to me
509
00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:22,549
Because I feel
That you and I have this--
510
00:21:22,549 --> 00:21:23,883
Oh. Look at that.
A new ring?
511
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:26,319
That's what I
Came to ask you.
512
00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:28,120
What?
I'm getting married.
513
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,722
And I want you
To give me away.
514
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:32,325
Well, you little
Sl--sly one.
515
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:38,230
Who's the lucky guy?
516
00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:39,632
He's a guy I met
At school.
517
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,534
We've been
Going together
A couple of years.
518
00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:44,704
You know, he's a lot
Like a young you, sam.
519
00:21:47,273 --> 00:21:48,375
Thank you.
520
00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:51,010
I can't wait
To give you away.
521
00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:52,812
Thank you,
Uncle sammy!
522
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:53,580
I love you.
523
00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:55,081
Yeah, whatever.
Run along.
524
00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:04,023
I'm so sorry.
525
00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:05,892
Don't feel bad,
Sammy.
526
00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:07,794
I let you guys down.
527
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:09,829
Listen, sammy.
528
00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:11,598
Sure, things didn't
Go your way.
529
00:22:11,598 --> 00:22:14,100
And sure, we're a
Little disappointed.
530
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:15,502
But we'll
Get over it.
531
00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:17,404
What's important
Here is
532
00:22:17,404 --> 00:22:19,639
That you tried to do
The wrong thing.
533
00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:23,843
Hey, that's right.
I did, didn't I?
534
00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:27,046
Sam-my. Sam-my.
Sam-my. Sam-my.
535
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:34,821
Thank you.
Ok, now.
536
00:22:34,821 --> 00:22:37,857
I think there's some
More cake and ice cream
In there for you.
537
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:41,561
Oh, binky,
You were wonderful.
538
00:22:41,561 --> 00:22:43,496
I must admit I was
A bit worried at first.
539
00:22:43,496 --> 00:22:45,331
It took us quite a while
To warm up to you.
540
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:46,866
Well, thank you,
Kind lady.
541
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:48,835
Actually, I have a
Confession to make.
542
00:22:48,835 --> 00:22:50,369
I'm really
Dr. Frasier crane,
543
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:52,238
Practicing
Psychiatrist.
544
00:22:52,238 --> 00:22:54,407
Clowning is
My avocation.
545
00:22:54,407 --> 00:22:55,775
And miss howe.
546
00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:57,777
I will be sure to mention
To my husband
547
00:22:57,777 --> 00:22:59,779
The splendid work
You did on this party.
548
00:22:59,779 --> 00:23:01,313
Thank you,
Mrs. Ridgeway.
549
00:23:01,313 --> 00:23:03,583
Now, if you will
Excuse me for a moment.
550
00:23:07,454 --> 00:23:09,388
You have no idea
How lucky we are.
551
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:10,457
That was woody
On the phone.
552
00:23:10,457 --> 00:23:11,958
He called
To check up on us.
553
00:23:11,958 --> 00:23:14,861
That handkerchief
Is a trick handkerchief.
554
00:23:14,861 --> 00:23:16,896
If you had pulled that
Out of your pocket,
555
00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:19,499
Your pants would have
Fallen down around your ankles,
556
00:23:19,499 --> 00:23:21,801
And we would have seen
Those skimpy underpants.
557
00:23:21,801 --> 00:23:23,936
Oh, good lord.
That's not
The half of it.
558
00:23:23,936 --> 00:23:25,672
You see, I took off that
French torture device
559
00:23:25,672 --> 00:23:26,973
Lilith got me
Earlier today.
560
00:23:26,973 --> 00:23:28,608
I've been doing this
Al fresco.
561
00:23:31,444 --> 00:23:33,546
Dr. Crane, would you
Come here for a moment?
562
00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:34,647
I'd like you
To meet my mother.
563
00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:35,982
Why, yes,
I'd be delighted to.
564
00:23:35,982 --> 00:23:37,149
I've heard such
Wonderful things about her.
565
00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:38,451
Ah-choo!
566
00:23:38,451 --> 00:23:40,487
Gesundheit, madam.
Here's my handkerchief.
567
00:23:40,487 --> 00:23:41,454
[rebecca] no!
568
00:23:41,454 --> 00:23:43,623
Aah!
Aah!
569
00:23:43,623 --> 00:23:45,692
Mother! Mother!
40322
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