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1
00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:04,272
"Cheers"Is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,308
Woody, I have a lot
Of work to do here.
3
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,177
So please make sure
I'm not disturbed.
4
00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:11,145
Woody: yes, ma'am.
5
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:14,882
[knock on door]
6
00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,684
Yes?
7
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:17,818
Miss howe?
8
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,953
You want me to hold
Business and personal calls?
9
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,155
Yes.
10
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,756
You got it.
11
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,696
[knock on door]
12
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:30,398
Yes?
13
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:32,233
Miss howe?
14
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,634
What if it's
An emergency
15
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,236
Or something only
You can handle?
16
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,205
Woody, I'm turning
The bar over to you.
17
00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:38,772
I have complete
Confidence.
18
00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,882
[knock on door]
19
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,118
Yes?
20
00:00:50,118 --> 00:00:51,752
Miss howe?
21
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:55,789
I want you to know
How much I appreciate
Your confidence in me.
22
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,191
I won't let you down.
23
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:06,200
[knock on door]
24
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,236
Woody, I'm trying to
Get some work done here,
25
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,570
And you're
Driving me crazy!
26
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,639
Now get out of here
And leave me alone!
27
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:25,319
[crying]
I'm sorry, miss howe.
28
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:34,061
* sometimes
You want to go *
29
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:37,631
* where everybody
Knows your name *
30
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:44,138
* and they're always
Glad you came *
31
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:46,574
* you want to be
Where you can see *
32
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:49,076
* our troubles
Are all the same *
33
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:55,383
* you want to be where
Everybody knows your name *
34
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:10,998
Hey, fras.
New briefcase?
35
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:13,201
No, it's my new portable
Cellular telephone.
36
00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:15,603
The answer to every busy
Therapist's prayers.
37
00:02:15,603 --> 00:02:17,171
You see, with this
I can instantly
38
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,706
Get in touch with
My patients in crisis.
39
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:20,274
Who knows how many lives
It may save?
40
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:23,777
It looks cool, too.
Doesn't it?
41
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,012
[telephone rings]
42
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:27,715
Excuse me.
43
00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,250
Oh, jeez.
44
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:32,019
I seem to
Have forgotten
The combination.
45
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,454
[ring]
46
00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:35,923
I was certain
I programmed
Lilith's birthday
47
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,791
So I'd remember it.
48
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,261
Oh, no.
49
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,763
My birthday.
50
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,866
Frasier, it's getting
A little annoying.
51
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,935
Yeah, of course.
52
00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:49,737
Freud's birthday!
53
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:53,641
Hello? Cheers.
54
00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:58,412
Two drafts, sam.
Coming right up.
55
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,147
Shouldn't you be on
Your way to the airport?
56
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:01,882
No, eddie called
From louisville.
57
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:04,084
He said the performers'
Plane was gonna be
A little late,
58
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:05,386
So he'd meet me here.
59
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:06,887
He must be
Getting excited, huh?
60
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:09,957
I thought that
Ice show would never
Get back to boston.
61
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:12,092
It has been tough.
62
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,327
He misses me,
You know.
63
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:14,828
The kids miss him,
64
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:17,665
Not to mention that I happen
To be at my sexual peak.
65
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,667
You've been there
Since you were 12.
66
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:23,237
When you find
A place you like,
Why leave it?
67
00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:25,005
[ring]
68
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:26,774
Man: answer
The damn phone!
69
00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:30,578
Sorry. Sorry.
70
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,913
Oh, wait!
Jung's address!
71
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:37,017
Ah, finally.
72
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,952
Hello.
73
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:42,656
No, there is
No itzak here.
74
00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:46,126
Woody, here are
Your tickets.
75
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:47,861
Tickets?
All right!
76
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:48,996
Company season tickets.
77
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:52,500
Patriots-dolphins tonight.
2 on the 40-yard line.
78
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,335
Thanks, miss howe.
79
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:56,704
You know,
You are the greatest
Boss I ever had.
80
00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,138
Ahem!
81
00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:01,675
I mean...You're
The prettiest boss
I ever had.
82
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:04,211
Ahem!
83
00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:06,580
I mean, thanks.
84
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,249
So, uh, woodster,
What time are we
Leaving, bud?
85
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,818
Mr. Peterson,
You'd be interested
86
00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,152
In going to something
Like this?
87
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:14,054
Wait-t-t-t-t.
88
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:16,089
Fair is fair.
89
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,758
Woody,
Didn't I invite you
90
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,160
To a very special occasion
Just last week?
91
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,329
That's right,
Mr. Clavin.
92
00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:22,996
I sure did enjoy
That garage sale.
93
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:26,099
Excuse me, but why
Do I seem to have been
Automatically excluded?
94
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,501
You have to go home
To your wife.
95
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,836
What about your wife?
96
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,739
You can't be this dense
With your patients.
97
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:36,243
Hey, carla, I'm back!
98
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:37,277
Hey!
Eddie!
99
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,479
Everybody!
100
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:39,880
Not here.
Everybody's watching.
101
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,582
Excuse me.
I'll be right back.
102
00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:43,451
I just got to show
Eddie something.
103
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:52,292
[passionate moaning]
104
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:02,069
Aw, gee, it's good
To be home.
105
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,137
Give me a beer, sam.
106
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,473
Here.
107
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:06,907
Thanks, sam.
108
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,942
Ah! A charm bracelet.
109
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,378
From cincinnati.
110
00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:12,245
Yeah. There's
A little beer stein,
111
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,014
Little bowl
Of sauerkraut,
112
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:17,217
And pete rose's head.
113
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:19,887
Ooh, carla,
Can I borrow it?
114
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,089
Fat chance.
115
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:24,958
This better not
Turn my wrist green.
No.
116
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,159
Hey.
117
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,194
Hey, buddy.
118
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:28,696
How's the show
Doing?
119
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:31,599
Terrific. We signed
A new headliner--
Franzi schrempf.
120
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,834
Oh! You mean
The east german
Gold medalist?
121
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:34,802
That's her.
122
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,269
She's joining
The show in boston.
123
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:37,638
Sure would like
To meet her
124
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,407
Without having
To go to that
Stupid ice show.
125
00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:40,641
You may be in luck, norm,
126
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:42,376
Because I invited her
And some of the cast
127
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,478
To drop by here later.
128
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:45,846
She is amazing.
129
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,515
She actually
Grabs the blade
130
00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:50,283
And touches the back
Of her head with it.
131
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,586
Can you do this?
132
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,492
Hey, are the kids home?
I haven't talked to them
Since I got back.
133
00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,027
I wanted to give them
A call.
134
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,194
Oh, yeah, go ahead.
135
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,996
Just make sure
You identify yourself
By name.
136
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:06,299
Just saying "It's dad"
Leaves too much room
For confusion.
137
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:07,535
Cliff:
You know, carla,
138
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,937
According to
"The weekly gabber,"
139
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,739
This franzi schrempf
Has affairs
140
00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:13,541
With every man
She's worked with.
141
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:15,976
I'm telling you,
She's a man-eater.
142
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:19,713
Look, clavin,
I'm not worried,
So just shut up.
143
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,649
There's a lot of things
Wrong with eddie,
144
00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,684
But I know
I can trust him.
145
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:25,653
We've been married
For over a year now,
146
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:29,657
And not once in that
Entire time has
His eye wandered.
147
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:32,926
Well, his good eye.
148
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:35,062
I'm talking
Completely
Over her head.
149
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,364
I mean she must be
Triple-jointed
Or something.
150
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,533
Hey, eddie,
Come here.
151
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:40,768
I was just
Laughing about
152
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,736
Something stupid
Cliff said.
153
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,772
He says that
This franzi
154
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:47,107
Has a thing for
The men she works with,
155
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,542
Says she changes lovers
156
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:50,511
More than most people
Change socks.
157
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:54,347
I don't have anything
To worry about with you
In that area, do I?
158
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:55,616
No, honey, not at all.
159
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:58,619
I put a fresh pair
On this morning.
160
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,322
Eddie:
Hey, here she is!
161
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,791
Everybody...
162
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:06,660
I want you to meet
Franzi schrempf.
163
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,197
Welcome to the bar,
Franzi.
164
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:12,199
We're all--
Well, we're big
Fans of yours.
165
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,200
Thank you.
166
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,334
We were just wondering,
167
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:15,435
Now that you're here
In boston,
168
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,570
What are your plans?
169
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:17,838
Well, while I'm here,
170
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,807
I would like to wear
Blue jeans,
171
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,475
See a tom cruise movie,
172
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:22,843
And eat a big mac.
173
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:25,479
Sexy, dumb,
And a cheap date.
174
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:32,052
Well, in the spirit
Of detente,
175
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:35,088
I wouldn't mind
Having some arms talks
With franzi.
176
00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:39,092
I'd like to see her try
To control my arms.
177
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:44,131
I wouldn't object
To a little mutual
On-site inspection.
178
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:47,635
See what kind of
Payload she can deliver.
179
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:49,970
Produce missiles
In western europe?
180
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:56,877
[no audible dialogue]
181
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:00,614
Eddie: hey, sam...
182
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,049
She is something, eh?
Yeah.
183
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:05,586
You know,
If I was younger,
Taller, handsomer...
184
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:06,987
And had a brain
In my head,
185
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,823
I never would've
Started this sentence.
186
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,892
You think she's pretty,
Don't you.
187
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,260
Well, yeah,
188
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,261
If you're
Into looks,
189
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,263
Which I'm not.
190
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:18,265
Just don't get
Any ideas.
191
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,600
Ideas?
192
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,602
Franzi doesn't
Even know I exist.
193
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:24,137
Eddie, do you
Have a light?
194
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,406
You know, I'm sort of
The host here tonight.
195
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,876
I'd better take
Care of this.
196
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,781
Yep! Paper covers rock,
197
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:35,749
And the mailman goes
To the patriots' game.
198
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,317
That is absurd.
199
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,452
You're telling me that
If I took my rock
And hurled it,
200
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:41,622
It wouldn't smash
Right through that
Puny piece of paper?
201
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:42,790
Oh, will you come on!
202
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,057
You're just crying
Baby shoes
203
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:45,492
'cause you're not
Going to the game.
204
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:47,460
Baby shoes?
Children! Children!
205
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:50,030
There's a much more
Fairer way
To decide this.
206
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,932
Foot race to the corner
And back!
207
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,400
The winner goes
To the game!
208
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,135
False start!
209
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,871
I'm running this race
Under protest!
210
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:04,011
Carla, I don't think
You have
211
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,779
Anything to worry
About with eddie.
212
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,916
I don't know.
I get this sense of doom.
213
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,517
Maybe it's intuition.
214
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:13,821
Maybe it's the fact that every
Time eddie gets excited,
215
00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:16,023
He starts sweating
Like a ditch digger.
216
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:21,762
Mom? You'll
Never believe this.
217
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:25,498
I'm calling you
From a briefcase.
218
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:27,234
Yeah.
219
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,402
Say, franzi,
220
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,570
You know, I was
Just thinking,
221
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,172
Seeing how you're
New in town,
222
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,741
How about I show you
Our fair city?
223
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:36,576
I do not think so.
We have just met.
224
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,646
That's not proper
In my country.
225
00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:40,380
I drive a 'vette.
226
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:41,548
I drive a porsche.
227
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,752
Maybe we
Could race sometime.
228
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:52,359
Say, congratulations,
Mr. Peterson.
229
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,393
You're the winner.
230
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:55,362
Put it on
My headstone.
231
00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:01,802
Well, congratulations,
Norm.
232
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:04,104
You won the first leg
Of our triathlon.
233
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,605
Now, on to the...
234
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,841
Now on to the biking
And swimming portions.
235
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,911
Anybody know this guy?
236
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,312
We found him face down
237
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,281
At the top
Of the steps.
238
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,917
Never saw
Him before.
239
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:18,919
Oh, hey, mr. Peterson,
We better hurry.
240
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:20,320
We're gonna miss
The kickoff.
241
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,289
Get out of here.
242
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,324
Come on!
We got to run!
243
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:25,558
No, no.
244
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,928
Woody!
No, man! Woody!
245
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,567
Excuse me. I think the guy
On the steps
246
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,203
Would like something
To drink.
247
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:41,074
We don't do take-out.
248
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,313
Hey, uh, franzi,
249
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,314
What's the matter?
250
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,717
Sammy doesn't
Spin your propeller?
251
00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:52,419
He's rude, crude,
And very stupid.
252
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:56,423
I guess all the sweet,
Simple guys are taken.
253
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:59,326
Don't you forget it.
254
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,597
Say, I'll bet
With all that skating,
255
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,633
You get
Pretty sore muscles.
256
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:08,035
Have you
Ever experienced
257
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:11,471
Sammy's all-american
Deep muscle massage?
258
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:15,442
Have you
Ever experienced
Knowing when to quit?
259
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:20,313
Are you sure
You're not from
Around here?
260
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,215
Eddie?
Yes.
261
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:23,616
Would you be so kind
262
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,652
To give me lift
Back to the hotel?
263
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:27,687
Oh, sure, franzi,
Anything.
264
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,459
You're so sweet.
265
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:37,097
Well, there he goes,
Carla.
266
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,032
Don't say
I didn't warn you.
267
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,774
You've got to
Give her credit.
268
00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:48,876
She didn't say it.
269
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,359
Say, eh, rebecca,
270
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:09,696
Was it a big hassle
Getting those company
Tickets for woody?
271
00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:11,031
No.
272
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,399
Can you get some for me?
273
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,666
No.
274
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:16,336
I get it.
Employees only, huh?
275
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,038
No.
276
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,573
Gotcha. Can't go to
The well too often.
277
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,242
No.
278
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,311
Then you just don't want
To get 'em for me?
279
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:25,678
Yeah.
280
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:28,215
No harm in asking.
281
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:35,322
Man, what is with these
East german babes?
282
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:37,124
All week long,
I've been trying--
283
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:38,926
Phone calls, flowers,
The whole thing.
284
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,193
What am I doing wrong?
285
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:41,528
Well, sam, I see
No alternative.
286
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:44,631
You're just gonna have
To become a communist.
287
00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:45,966
What do you do?
288
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:47,868
You apply for a membership
Or something?
289
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:51,538
I cannot believe
My ears.
290
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,140
What?
291
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:55,175
We're not talking about
The moose lodge here.
292
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:56,844
You're talking
Communists,
293
00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,846
The most reprehensible
Perpetrators
294
00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:00,613
Of social and economic
Oppression
295
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,949
Ever known
To mankind.
296
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:03,516
I mean, they brainwash you,
297
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,418
They put you to work
In some tractor factory.
298
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:08,889
As for creature comforts,
Forget it.
299
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,827
Yeah, but the stuff you had
Before you joined
300
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,428
Is still your stuff,
Am I right?
301
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,035
Ordering.
302
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,772
What are you
Ordering, carla?
303
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:28,075
I forget.
304
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:31,011
You know
Where to reach me.
305
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,414
Carla, are you preoccupied
With something?
306
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:37,417
You don't still think
307
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:40,020
Eddie's messing around
With franzi, do you?
308
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,754
I have my suspicions.
309
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:43,656
Well, what evidence
Do you have?
310
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,725
I'll tell you
What I have.
311
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,460
I have nothing!
312
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,230
That was the one
Good thing about nick.
313
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,798
With nick, I always
Knew for sure.
314
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:54,034
How?
He told me.
315
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:56,269
I mean, nick used to
316
00:13:56,269 --> 00:14:00,207
Stick polaroids in
The family album.
317
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,543
Carla, you don't have
Anything to worry about.
318
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:04,677
I'm telling you,
319
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:05,845
Franzi would
Never date anyone
320
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:06,914
From that crummy
Ice show.
321
00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:08,781
I can't believe
That dame!
322
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:10,250
She said
She can't see me
323
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,319
Because she's fallen for
Some guy in the ice show.
324
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,154
Carla, she's probably
Just saying that
325
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:16,289
Because she wants to get sam
To quit bugging her.
326
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,858
I'll have to
Remember that one.
327
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,995
No, she's dating
Somebody all right.
328
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:23,763
Get a load of this
Little tidbit of gossip.
329
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:27,267
"What international
Skating star was seen
Spooling spaghetti
330
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:30,337
With a short, dark,
Melon-faced companion?"
331
00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:31,538
Eddie!
332
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,672
Sam: oh, come on,
Carla.
333
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:34,474
"Short, dark,
Melon-faced"?
334
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,276
That could be
Anybody in the show.
335
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:37,911
I guess that explains
Why it's not
336
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:41,581
One of the more
Popular ice shows.
337
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:46,987
Why, that no-good
Two-timing
338
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:48,688
Scum-sucking
Son of a...
339
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:51,891
Hey, honey bear, come give
Your lover man a hug.
340
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:55,128
Gggrrrr!
341
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,235
Hey, eddie. Eddie!
342
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:06,406
You mind if I borrow
Carla here for a minute?
343
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:07,640
No problem.
344
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,177
It'll give me time
To find my tooth.
345
00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:13,546
Hey, frasier, help
Him out there, will you?
346
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:15,983
Tell him one
Of your funny
Psychiatry stories.
347
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:17,550
Will you sit down!
348
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,852
Now what the hell
Do you think you doing?
349
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:22,789
I'm killing
The horny little frog!
350
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,157
Come here,
Will you?
351
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,725
Murder is
Not the answer
352
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:28,561
To every one of life's
Little problems, you know that?
353
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,263
First of all,
You don't even know
354
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,898
If he did
Anything wrong.
355
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:34,701
And second, if he was
A little tempted,
356
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,069
Maybe you pushed him
Into it.
357
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,704
Oh, what are you
Talking about?
358
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:38,938
Did you ever think
That maybe
359
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,573
You aren't exactly
Nice to the guy?
360
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:44,411
Sammy, you know me.
This is an nice as it gets.
361
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,414
But this is the way
362
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,082
You handle everything
In your life,
363
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:50,183
And it never works.
364
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:53,120
Ok, o god of
Good relationships,
365
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,288
What do you
Suggest I do?
366
00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:59,726
Carla, you got
To let eddie know
367
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,461
How you feel inside.
368
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:04,764
You embrace him,
Not just with
Your heart,
369
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,433
But with your very soul.
370
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:09,769
Give unto him,
And he will give
Unto you.
371
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:11,671
Ok, no more
For this clown.
372
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:22,282
Listen, I'm talking about
The occasional backrub,
373
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,584
The general all-around
Pampering.
374
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:29,489
Maybe buy one of those
Low-cut frilly dresses.
375
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,891
Oh, you mean
That "Total woman" b.S.?
376
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:34,127
I find that
Completely repulsive.
377
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:35,395
Well, that explains
All the men
378
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:38,898
Beating down your door,
Doesn't it?
379
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:43,036
Sweetheart, listen,
You got to become
The ideal woman.
380
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,304
Treat him
Like a god.
381
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:45,738
Cater to his every whim.
382
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:49,742
Oh, yuck! I can't do that.
I can't do frilly.
383
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,244
You know what they say,
384
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,313
You can catch
More flies with honey
Than with vinegar.
385
00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:55,048
Maybe I shouldn't be
Butting in here,
386
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:58,085
But you can catch the most
With dead squirrels.
387
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,363
Come on.
Guys, guys.
388
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,899
I'm not going
To do this, ok?
389
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:16,469
I'm gonna get to the bottom
Of it in my own way.
390
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,705
Well, I say
To this patient,
391
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,640
"Look, you're never
Going to get well
392
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,275
Until you get over
This paranoia."
393
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:24,577
And he says to me,
"I was afraid you'd say that"
394
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:27,046
[laughs]
395
00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:30,783
Well, you had
To be there.
396
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,354
Your phone
Is ringing.
397
00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:35,822
Ooh!
398
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:42,195
Why did you
Attack me like that?
399
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,396
I'm sorry, eddie.
400
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,433
Look, I've been
Very tense lately.
401
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,067
Can I ask you
Something?
402
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,969
Sure.
403
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:52,172
Are you happy
With me?
Boy, am I.
404
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,141
No complaints?
Not one
Complaint.
405
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,243
You're lying.
Everybody has one complaint.
406
00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:57,777
I want one complaint,
407
00:17:57,777 --> 00:18:00,447
Or I'm not going
To believe you're happy.
408
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:01,881
Well, ok.
409
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:02,915
What?
410
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,117
Remember
The other night
411
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:05,318
When I asked
If I could have
412
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,853
A few buddies
Over for poker...
413
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:09,556
And you shoved my face
Into the refrigerator?
414
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:13,560
Well, I guess
I didn't like that.
415
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,462
Listen, eddie.
416
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:18,131
I want you
To promise me something.
417
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:20,300
I want you
To promise me
418
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,935
That if you ever
Find someone
419
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,205
Who makes you
Happier than I do,
420
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,473
That you'll tell me.
421
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,575
Oh, yeah, right!
What do you mean by that?
422
00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:30,510
You'd kill me.
No, I won't.
423
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:32,579
Now tell me the truth!
Are you having an affair?
424
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:33,946
No!
425
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,815
Did you believe when you said
I wouldn't kill you?
426
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,284
No!
427
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:40,119
Then if you were having
An affair, you would still
Be saying no!
428
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,590
Yes! Even if I were
Having an affair,
I'd still say no!
429
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:46,426
Honey, look. I got to
Tell you something.
430
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:50,763
I have a real bad
Headache from this
Conversation,
431
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:53,866
And I need to lie down
In a dark room.
432
00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,773
Where do I go
For frilly?
433
00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:09,382
All right, norm,
434
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,384
I will
See your nickel,
435
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:14,354
And I'll raise you
A nickel.
436
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:18,591
Too rich
For my blood.
437
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:21,127
Hey, honey,
More chips and dip!
438
00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:22,729
Carla: right away,
Sweetheart!
439
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,231
Hey, ed, what's
With the old lady?
440
00:19:24,231 --> 00:19:25,698
Why is she acting
So nice?
441
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:26,966
I got no idea.
442
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,201
She's been
Doing it all week.
443
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,303
But I got no idea
How a car works, either,
444
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,639
But I don't mind
Riding in one, eh?
445
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,642
That's rich!
446
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:40,179
Shades of the algonquin
Round table.
447
00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:47,987
Here you are,
Sweetheart.
448
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,622
Just the way
You like it.
449
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,591
Oh, thanks.
I thought you forgot us.
450
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,593
No! I was
Just carrying
451
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:57,930
Another keg in
From the garage.
452
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,165
[doorbell rings]
453
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:01,401
Oh! Let me get that,
Baby face.
454
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,002
And when you're
Through with that,
455
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:04,437
Could you grab me
A beer?
456
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:07,374
Anything you want.
457
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,108
Me, too, please.
458
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:12,245
What do I look like,
A waitress?
459
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:19,652
Oh, sam,
Thank god it's you.
460
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,854
I think
I'm hemorrhaging.
461
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:24,991
Well, don't worry about it.
I got some great news...
462
00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,559
For you, at least.
463
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,194
I went to franzi's
Dressing room
464
00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:29,462
To give her
Another chance.
465
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:31,631
Guess who was there?
Her boyfriend.
466
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:34,166
Her boyfriend
Was there?
467
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,535
And eddie's here?
468
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,304
Eddie: hey, carla!
Beer me!
469
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,472
You think eddie
Looks like a melon?
470
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:40,773
Boy, I tell you,
You put a cantaloupe
471
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,074
Up next to
That guy's face,
472
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,977
I defy you
To tell the difference.
473
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:49,349
Eddie: carla,
What are you doing out
There? Growing the hops?
474
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:51,618
Right away, dear.
475
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,620
Maybe I'll join them
For a few hands of cards.
476
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:57,156
Don't bother. The game's
Just about to break up.
477
00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:59,959
Thanks
For the warning.
478
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:02,329
Hey, honey, we're running
A little low on dip.
479
00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:04,464
You want some dip?
480
00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:05,498
Here's your dip.
481
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,967
And your chips
And your drinks
482
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,836
And your cards!
483
00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:12,238
You want them?
484
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:14,807
Help yourselves!
485
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:21,514
I don't know about you guys,
I'm a little bushed.
486
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:26,619
You know,
487
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,788
We really must get together
Like this more often.
488
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,757
Oh, for
God's sake, norm.
489
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:33,460
Let the dog
Have the dip!
490
00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:39,999
Now what the hell
Was that all about?
491
00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:42,735
You never laid
A hand on that
Franzi, did you?
492
00:21:42,735 --> 00:21:45,838
Did you kiss her?
Did you pinch her?
Did you do anything?
493
00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:47,540
No! I swear it!
494
00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:50,109
Well, how could
You humiliate me
Like that?
495
00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:51,444
Franzi?
496
00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:53,346
Carla, is that what
You're all upset about?
497
00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:56,949
You think there's
Something going on
Between me and franzi?
498
00:21:56,949 --> 00:22:00,219
Listen, if that woman
Threw herself at me,
499
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:01,788
I would have nothing
To do with her.
500
00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:05,458
In fact, today at rehearsal,
I saw how inhuman she could be.
501
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:06,993
She humiliated
One of the guys
502
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:08,661
Just because he made
A little mistake.
503
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,363
Chewed him out
In front of everyone.
504
00:22:10,363 --> 00:22:12,031
Actually spit on him.
505
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:13,633
If it upset you so much,
506
00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:15,034
Why didn't you
Defend the guy?
507
00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:18,104
I was the guy!
508
00:22:18,104 --> 00:22:20,172
So nothing
Was going on,
509
00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:22,675
And you let me
Walk around like
Debbie reynolds.
510
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:24,477
Why didn't you
Stop me?
511
00:22:24,477 --> 00:22:26,546
I thought maybe
You were pregnant again
512
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:29,382
And this was your way
Of telling me.
513
00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:31,484
Well, you didn't
Have to like it so much.
514
00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:32,852
Like it? It gives me
The creeps.
515
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,621
Well, you certainly
Seemed to like it
516
00:22:34,621 --> 00:22:37,390
When you were making
All those stupid cracks
In front of your friends.
517
00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:38,991
Well, you know
The competition
518
00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:41,628
To be witty
In front of those guys.
519
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:47,199
Besides, honey,
I mean,
520
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,568
Isn't the important
Thing
521
00:22:48,568 --> 00:22:50,537
That I've been
Faithful to you?
522
00:22:52,672 --> 00:22:54,841
You have been,
Haven't you?
523
00:22:54,841 --> 00:22:57,243
Yeah.
524
00:22:57,243 --> 00:22:59,912
Guess I kind of
Lost sight of that.
525
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:06,719
I was never married to anyone
Who was faithful before.
526
00:23:09,522 --> 00:23:13,493
You're really
A good guy, eddie.
527
00:23:13,493 --> 00:23:15,094
I don't deserve you.
528
00:23:15,094 --> 00:23:16,228
But I'm gonna try to.
529
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,631
From now on, I'm gonna be
The perfect wife.
530
00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:20,366
I don't want you to be
The perfect wife.
531
00:23:20,366 --> 00:23:22,001
I want the girl
I married--
532
00:23:22,001 --> 00:23:24,170
Feisty, strong-willed,
533
00:23:24,170 --> 00:23:27,106
And, well,
Downright nasty...
534
00:23:27,106 --> 00:23:29,008
In a beautiful way.
535
00:23:29,008 --> 00:23:31,811
You really mean that, eddie?
Oh, you bet I do.
536
00:23:31,811 --> 00:23:33,913
Then get your sorry butt
Into the kitchen.
537
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:35,381
There's a sinkful
Of dishes,
538
00:23:35,381 --> 00:23:36,983
The garbage disposal
Is clogged,
539
00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:40,419
And there's a cat box
With your name on it.
540
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,288
What are you
Doing?
541
00:23:42,288 --> 00:23:44,491
Oh, my sweetie
Is back.
542
00:23:44,491 --> 00:23:46,025
Beat it!
543
00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:52,865
[theme music playing]
38073
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