Original subtitles

"Cheers"Is filmed before A live studio audience.

Good gravy. Look here. Sam: cheers is filmed Before a live studio audience.

Woods, Refill, please.

Yeah, sure. Whatever you want.

Hey, hey. Why so down in the mouth There, bud?

Well, I'm understudying Another play,

And I know I'm never Going to get to go on

Because the star Never gets sick.

Darn it, the part Is perfect for me.

Yeah? What is that part?

Moses.

My theater group is Doing an original play--

An evening With the prophets.

Mm-hmm.

I've got more lines Than any of The other israelites.

But I managed to jam them All in, right up here.

Yeah, your head looks Packed, all right.

Go on, test me. Give me a cue.

All right.

What's The first line?

"And I have said I will bring you up

"Out of the affliction Of egypt

"Into the land Of the canaanites,

"And the hittites, And the amorites, And the perizzites,

And the hivites."

Wait, wait, Wait, wait.

What happened To the cellulites?

They, uh, settled In the land of vera.

Did you hear What he said?

* makin' your way In the world today *

* takes everything you've got *

* takin' a break From all your worries *

* sure would help a lot *

* wouldn't you like To get away? *

* sometimes You wanna go *

* where everybody Knows your name *

* and they're always Glad you came *

* you wanna be Where you can see *

* our troubles Are all the same *

* you wanna be where Everybody knows your name *

* you wanna go Where people know *

* people are all the same *

* you wanna go where Everybody knows your name *

Here we go. Thank you.

Boy, what a day. Yeah?

Yeah. I can't wait For it to end.

All I can think about Is getting home

And jumping into bed.

Need anybody To break your fall?

Hi. Sam malone.

Hi. Suzanne porter.

Sam, you done Picking up On this lady?

Not quite, woody.

I'm sorry To interrupt you,

But denise called.

Oh, denise.

Who's denise?

Um...

My brother's Kid, de niece.

I have to say hi To her

And de nephew.

Hey, hey. Ha ha ha.

Very smooth, Sam.

So who's This denise, sam?

She was somebody. We had quite a thing Going there a while ago.

Then we both realized That sex wasn't anything

To base A relationship on.

6 months later, We broke up.

She must be Quite a dish

If you're Willing To pass up on

Door number one Over there.

It's kind Of like avocados.

One of them's Ripe and ready

To be squashed Into guacamole.

The other one needs To stay on the shelf A little while longer.

Anyway, call her back. She says it's urgent.

The accent On urge, huh?

Actually, you know, I think this is a call

I should return In person.

Aw, sam.

Hey.

Where Are you going?

To my niece's house. Her grandma's sick.

If it's your Niece's grandma,

Wouldn't that Be your mother?

My mom's sick? Oh, my god!

Excuse me.

Why don't you Stick around For a little while?

My mom bounces Right back.

Hey, sam. Hey, back from The denise decathlon, huh?

Heh heh. Got another gold medal In the broad jump?

You know, you got A big mouth, clavin.

He happens To be right, you know.

It's a genetic quirk In the clavin family

That we all have Two extra teeth.

You see, that's the only way That we can prove

That we are the rightful heirs To the russian throne.

Hello in there, Cliff.

Tell me, what Color is the sky In your world?

What's wrong?

I just want to be Left alone for A while, all right?

You got it. Thank you.

Hey, everybody, sam Wants to be left alone.

Ok, sammy, spill your guts. What's the matter?

Carla, I just Said that I want--

Yeah, but you're gonna end up Telling me eventually,

So you might as well Get it over with.

Go on. Make you feel better.

Just keep this To yourself.

Remember how I went over to Denise's house?

Well, she didn't Invite me over For a good time.

She wanted to Show me something.

What?

My child.

7 pounds, 10 ounces.

A baby boy.

[laughs]

What's so funny?

Sam malone Finally got caught

With his hand In the cookie jar.

Carla, come on. This is serious.

Oh, of course It is, sam,

But I really think You're going to be ok, You know?

Yeah? Just remember this.

This little piggy Went to market...

This is not funny.

I'm sorry.

You sure it's yours?

No. It's between me And another guy,

But the kid's A real looker,

So, you know, You figure it out.

So when are you going To find out, dad?

Soon. She dragged me Down to a lab

To have a blood test.

Well, what's the big deal? You know,

You could just do what All the other jerks do--

You pay a little Money for support And get off the hook.

Carla, it means a lot More to me than that.

I'm telling you, If this kid is mine,

Then I want to see That he's fed,

That he's clothed, And he's educated.

You know, I'm gonna Take him to Little league games, too.

I'm gonna be the best Damn father you've Ever seen.

Please don't Let him be mine!

Oh! I tell you, If I get out of this,

I swear to god,

I am through Fooling around forever.

Sam, don't swear to god.

No, I mean it. I mean it. If I get out of this,

I swear to god, I'll Never have sex again.

You? "Never?"

Yeah, not ever. I mean, for the rest...

Well, 3 months, 3 months.

Well, I guess The amount of sex You have in 3 months

Is what most people Have in a lifetime.

If they're Attractive, I guess.

You have a phone call From denise.

Carla, you know That pitcher Of beer

You left On your tray?

Some guy from Table 6 came And drank it.

We don't have A table 6.

I knew I should have Said table 5.

Hello?

Hi, denise.

What did The doctor say?

Oh, thank god, Oh, thank god,

Oh, thank god! Oh!

Oh, I'm so happy!

Well, I'm so happy For the other guy. Yeah.

Congratulations, huh?

Well, I'll call you Some other time, then, All right?

Bye-bye.

Doctor, sam?

Uh, yeah.

Uh, denise and I And this other guy

Share the same doctor.

She just wanted to Let me know that

He'd gotten Some new magazines In the waiting room.

Ooh, you lucky dog!

Must be the "Sports illustrated" Swimsuit issue.

Say, suzanne, What do you say?

You want to help me Celebrate here?

I'd love to. What are we celebrating?

I have no idea, But whatever it is, We're overdressed.

Ahem! Sam, aren't You forgetting Something?

I know, I know. I'm gonna drop by The old drugstore.

Don't worry. I learned my lesson.

Could you wait Just one second?

What?

Does the name god Ring a bell?

Yeah.

The guy You made a vow to?

Oh, yeah, boy! I almost forgot about that.

That's no big thing.

No big thing?

Come on, god's a sport.

People make promises Like that all the time,

But if god had to collect On all of them,

He wouldn't have any time To create natural wonders

Like that, for instance.

So you'll... Oh, boy.

Give me A minute here.

Sammy, I don't want to tell you How to run your life,

But I want To tell you this.

Don't mess with god.

Look at all the people In the bible who did.

The entire population Of sodom and gomorrah.

Lot's wife--

Turned into A salt lick with boobs.

Come on. What's he going to do,

Reach down from the clouds And snatch me up?

Halt, infidel!

Sorry, sam. I was just At an understudy rehearsal.

I thought you might Get a kick out of My costume.

You ought to warn people

Before you go around Pretending to be god.

You thought I was god?

Thanks. I was only Trying to be moses.

Hey, guys, He thought I was god!

Sam, can we go now?

Yeah, you bet.

No, sam. He has sent His messenger.

What messenger? That is just woody.

You think It's a coincidence

That woody came in Just at that Very moment

Dressed as moses?

I mean, of all The places he Could have been in.

Sam, he could Have been dressed As auntie mame.

Would that Have scared you?

Yeah, a little.

Let's face it, sam. That was a warning,

And you'd better Take heed!

Oh, come on. What's he going to do?

Well...

My cousin tino swore He'd give up meat.

That night, He ate a burger.

The next day, His teeth fell out.

Oh, come on, carla, There's no connection here.

I swore I would Not have sex, so...

Ohh.

Listen, I-I-I'm Not really in The mood anymore.

Why not?

Carla's cousin tino's Teeth fell out.

Yeah, well, maybe Some other time.

Why don't you Give me a call?

I don't have Your number.

Perfect.

Are you satisfied, God's little helper?

Oh, listen, sam, In the interest Of authenticity,

You think there's any way I could sound less like god And more like moses?

Yeah. Stop going around Scaring people.

That's good. That's good.

Now, how about the voice?

Now, sit down.

Now, how can I Be of help?

Well, I would like Your advice, father.

Actually, it's for A friend of mine.

He, uh...

Got himself Into kind of a bind,

And so, in desperation,

Promised god He'd give up something.

And what did he Promise to give up?

Sweets.

Oh. I see.

Yeah, but my friend really Likes sweets a lot...

And sweets Like him a lot.

He hasn't had sweets now For about two weeks,

And if he doesn't Have sweets soon, He's gonna explode.

I see. And god's Contractual obligation

Was to get your friend Out of this bind You spoke of.

Yes, sir, Which he did.

Well, then, What is the problem?

Well, my friend Was wondering

What the penalty Would be if he, say,

You know, had a huge Box of chocolates.

Sam, I think This is between You and your god.

Yeah. Right.

Well, how--

How did you know It was me?

In all the years People have been

Coming here for Their friends,

I have never met one Of their friends.

Well, as long as I'm busted,

I guess I might as well Tell you the truth here.

I didn't promise To give up sweets,

I promised To give up sex.

Ah, that is a tough one.

You know, sam,

The church does Recommend chastity To unmarried people.

Oh, I'm sorry. You were serious. Um...

How do you do that?

I mean, What do you do?

How do you not?

I mean, Are there special tricks

Or a certain way Of sitting, maybe?

Well, yes,

But we are Strictly forbidden To reveal it.

You're kidding.

Yes.

Oh.

You know, sam, I think you're Looking for someone

To tell you It's all right To break your vow,

But I can't do that.

You know, I've found that

People who come here Looking for answers

Usually know What the answer is,

And I think You do, too.

Yeah, maybe.

Well, thank you.

Oh.

Oh, no, no.

Carla, carla, Oh, great.

Look, I think I got it.

God's gonna have to Accept this one.

"With the lord, One day is as A thousand years,

"And a thousand Years is as One day."

So? So, that means

I've been out of Action for 21,000 years.

That's gotta be Good enough for him.

Sam, I'd like To agree with you,

Since you're so pathetic It's annoying,

But no sale.

All right, all right. I still got Deuteronomy here.

Don't look, sammy. Temptation at 12:00.

Oh.

Oh, oh, god.

Man, they're Coming in waves.

[telephone ringing]

Cheers.

This is him.

You're kidding. Moses has an ear infection.

All right! Yeah. I'll be right there.

So, woody, they're Gonna let you go on?

No. I got to stop by The drugstore

And pick up Some antibiotics.

So, believe it or not, I've given up sex entirely,

But you gotta promise Not to tell anybody.

Sam, confidentiality Is the bedrock Of my profession.

Besides, Who'd believe me?

You were saying?

Well, I was just Wondering what you think I ought to do.

Well, you need to find Another outlet for your Sexual energies.

For example...

During 6 painfully Frustrating months Of my adolescence,

I built a submarine In our basement.

One of those little Plastic models?

No. Life-size. Slept 6.

The happiest Hours of my youth Were spent down there

In the dark Shouting, "Fire one!"

"Fire two!"

Well, enough about me.

Let's address This problem, sam.

Well, I don't Know anything About submarines.

Surely, you have Other interests.

Sports, sailing, music?

Well, yeah, I had A piano lesson once.

Actually, I had The piano teacher, And it was twice.

I liked it.

Well, I tell you. If you were to sit down At the piano today

And channel Your energies into it,

You would find All your sexual tensions

Pouring out Through your fingertips.

Yeah. Fingertips. Yeah, right.

And best of all, sam,

No matter how badly You perform,

A piano never laughs,

Never stomps out Of the room

And refuses to Let you play again For 3 days.

Well... I'm off to lilith.

Sam, would you please Lock up?

I'm going Home to bed.

Ok. Good night.

Did you hear me?

I said I'm going To go to bed.

Well, I hope you get A good night's Sleep.

Thank you.

Carla, I just Left myself wide open

For one of sam's Sleazy remarks,

And nothing.

I mean, Not that I want to,

But what does it mean

When you can't turn on The horniest guy That ever lived?

I am really getting old.

Rebecca, Would you stop Being ridiculous?

You're still A young, beautiful, Vibrant woman

With a whole life Ahead of her.

Are you Just saying that?

Yes, I am.

I was taught To humor old folks.

Carla, I can't Take this anymore.

I mean, I've tried everything.

I've stopped Eating oysters.

I'm taking cold showers.

I even started stuffing Ice in my pockets.

I tell you, I'm not gonna make it.

Oh, sammy, buck up.

You only have 9 More weeks to go.

I'm talking about tonight.

Guess who.

Uh-oh.

I'll give you a hint--

Vermont ski lodge, A roaring fire, And baby oil.

Uh...

Could you be More specific?

Gravity boots.

Oh, rachel patterson.

Hi, sam. How are you?

Oh, oh, boy, I tell you, honey,

You're the last person In the world

I want to see right now.

Nice to see you, too.

Listen, I have got An 18-hour layover,

And I'm not The least bit sleepy.

How would you like To help me kill some time?

Listen, Actually, I hear

Movies are good for That kind of thing.

Why don't you-- Why don't you

Take in about Two or 3 right in A row there.

I know. Smell.

I'm wearing that perfume

That always Drove you so crazy.

Oh. "Devastation," huh?

Actually, I got this, Uh, this head cold.

I wouldn't want you To catch it.

I-I'm sorry.

What do you say? Some other time?

Well...

Ok.

Oh, sam...

Yeah?

A friend of mine Snapped this

Of me on a beach In ipanema.

I thought You might like a copy.

Oh.

Would you Excuse me just for A minute here?

Look at this.

I mean, This is not fair.

I'm going for it.

It's not like I'm murdering anybody.

I'm just gonna bring A great deal of pleasure To two people.

So if in your Infinite wisdom

You feel you have To spite me down,

Please make it Quick and painless.

And if you could give me About 3 hours,

I'd appreciate it.

Ok.

Sam?

[sniff sniff]

"Devastation."

The hound is loose.

Please...

Go easy on him.

Sammy, now you've Done it.

There's nothing In your future but Frogs and locusts.

Why did you Have to go And do it, sammy?

I didn't do it.

What?

I didn't do it.

We went to the hotel.

She got into bed.

I got into bed with her.

Then I was folding up My socks--

You fold up Your socks?

Sure. I'm not an animal.

Anyway...

All of a sudden, For no reason,

I went over and I opened The nightstand drawer,

And there it was,

Staring Right up at me--

The bible.

Can you imagine that, A bible in a hotel room?

So we got out of there Real quick,

And we got another room,

And there it was again.

I mean, we went From hotel to hotel,

And it just followed Us wherever we went.

Then it dawned on me--

This was A bona fide miracle.

God was speaking To me directly

Through hotel nightstands.

He works In mysterious ways.

Amen. Amen.

Excuse me, sam, but In all the years You played baseball

Traveling throughout The country,

All the hotel rooms You stayed in,

Didn't you Ever once noti--

Frasier, sam Was just telling us About a miracle

That affected him Very deeply.

Now, what was it that You were noticing?

They always Put those little Strips of paper

Across the toilet.

Just an observation.

Sammy, I'm so Proud of you.

If you could Hold out last night,

You can make it The whole 3 months.

Sam, I'm late For a party.

Can you help me With this zipper?

Sam...Sam.

Piano.

Piano, sam.

For god's sake, piano.

[playing chopsticks]

It says that one out of Ever 3 of our leisure Dollars

Is spent in some kind Of amusement park.

Mickey mouse is A billion-dollar Industry.

For crying out-- You know,

If you gotta have Theme parks,

Why not give the kids Some real heroes To look up to.

You know what I mean?

Like generals Or astronauts,

Postal workers, Pioneers--

Whoa. Whoa. Back up there, cliff.

Postal workers?

Sure. Eh, why not?

Hey.

Why not, indeed.

Get this--

Postal world.

Huh?

No. Hey, hey.

That's--that's Not half bad.

No. It's all bad.

No. No.

Just imagine this--

A whole Amusement complex

Devoted to The postal Experience.

All america could Thrill to the glory

And the pageantry And the passion

That is the u.S. Postal service.

And you seriously think That will work?

You bet I do.

If I can Peddle this idea,

I might be able to Make some real money

And get out of This dead-end job.

* making your way In the world today *

* takes everything You've got *

* taking a break From all your worries *

* sure would help a lot *

* wouldn't you like To get away? *

* sometimes You want to go *

* where everybody Knows your name *

* and they're always Glad you came *

* you want to be Where you can see *

* our troubles Are all the same *

* you want to be where Everybody knows your name *

* you want to go Where people know *

* people are all the same *

* you want to go where Everybody knows your name *

Uh, we got a delivery here For a woody boyd.

Already?

Oh, boy.

Great. Sign right there.

Hey, sam, you think Miss howe would mind

If I put this In her office till The end of my shift?

That depends. What's in it?

4,000 bees.

Then, by all means.

Woody, I didn't know You kept bees.

Are you kidding?

Hey, when I was kid,

You couldn't keep me away

From my uncle fergie's Hives.

If fact, you'll never guess What they used to call me.

"The kid rolling Around on the ground

In agony covered With painful welts"?

No. Woody the beekeeper.

But you couldn't Have known that.

Yeah, uncle fergie always Told me that when he retired,

He's send me a batch Of of his best Buck fast bees.

Huh? This is Gonna be great.

Woody, are you sure It's safe to keep Those things in here?

Mr. Clavin, a bee Won't hurt you Unless you scare him.

Like my uncle fergie Always told me,

"Move slowly And methodically

And a bee can be Your best friend."

Go for it, cliff.

It's the best offer You ever had.

Oh, well, if it isn't The boss lady

Rolling in at The crack of 3:30.

You know, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to tell Your superior

And my close personal Friend mr. Stone

That you were late.

You're a lousy snitch, malone.

Hey, that's not true. I'm gonna tell him You said that.

Tell him whatever you want To tell him. I don't care.

I'm sick and tired of Spending my time

Catering to the whims Of that psycho stone.

How many ks in psycho?

Hi, miss howe. You got a message.

Mr. Stone got fired,

And the new executive Vice president

Wants to see you In his office at 4:30 p.M. Sharp.

Let me see that.

This is a blank Piece of paper, woody.

I know. I just carried It to remind me to Give you the message.

Stone's out?

My main man at hq?

Boy, there go all my Corporate hopes.

Wait a minute. I don't Have any corporate hopes.

Well, this let's you Off the hook

A little bit, Doesn't it?

Don't be so sure. Things don't change.

It's just Another executive

Who'll take an instant Dislike to me

And then make My life hell...

Unless he's been Reading my reports,

And sees that I've been Treated unfairly,

And decides to Champion me in the firm.

Come off it!

I'm sure he's already Heard the stories,

And he's just gonna bring Me in there and laugh at me.

I need to calm down.

I'm beginning to hear Buzzing sounds.

What the hell's In this box?

Those are my bees, Miss howe.

Enough said.

Hey, can I keep them in there Till the end of the day?

Sure, anything you want.

In my mood, I'll agree to anything.

Sounds like my cue.

Sammy, for crying Out loud.

Why is it always The great ones who never Know when to retire?

Hey, come on, I'm the cy young Of skirt chasers.

Yeah. Cy young's 108 and dead

And still doing Better with rebecca Than you are.

That all right. I know where My problem was.

I made too big a deal Out of everything.

I've always been at my best When I was spontaneous.

I'm just gonna Go in here

And say whatever Comes to my mind.

Ready, norm?

Frasier: say, what are those?

Visual aids.

Good afternoon, ms. Howe.

I believe you've met My associate mr. Peterson.

How do you do?

What is this?

Well, since you admire

The people in the business World so much,

I thought that I would Try speaking to you

In a language that You might understand.

First graph, please.

Norm, how much did he Pay you to do this?

Come now. Mr. Malone and I Go way back.

We're dear old friends-- $80, not yet.

Ok. Now this First graph represents Your dating history.

There's nothing on it.

Exactly! Next graph, please.

Now, this line Represents The sexual drive

Of a woman About your age

Throughout Her entire life.

Now, this line here,

Represents The sexual drive

Of a man about my age.

You'll notice that These two lines

Intersect at Approximately 4:27 This afternoon

Right here.

What's that?

My place.

Thank you, Mr. Peterson. That will be all.

You know, norm, I would have Expected this of sam,

But I can't believe You were part of it.

Well, it was either this

Or listen to cliff Sing the "Ave maria."

Cliff: * ave maria... *

Please. Five more minutes. Could I, please?

Ho, ho! I've got work To do here, man.

* maria, Of the most high *

Well, that concludes The formal part of our program.

Now, let's get naked.

Sam, I am very flattered

That you went to the trouble To buy a pointer.

But I'm not Going out with you.

Oh--why?

Because I'm concentrating On my career.

That's fine. But before you Make the final decision on this,

Let's try this.

Have sex with me 25 times,

And if at the end Of the night,

You're still not sure,

Then I won't say Another thing.

No. Sam, look, I have Wasted too much time.

I'm not getting Any younger,

And I've made A decision

To only date men Who can help My career.

They have a name For women like that.

Yeah. Vice-president.

You know, I'll tell you Something, lady.

You know, you go ahead And have a career

Of sucking up to people That'll get you ahead.

I wouldn't date you now

If you got down on Your hands and knees

And begged me to Go out with you.

You--you want proof?

Go ahead. Come on. Ask me out on a date.

Sam, you've tried This ploy before.

No. I'm serious. Ask me.

Will you go out with me?

No, not in A million years.

Not if you were The last woman on earth.

Ok. Now we know I can do it.

Let's celebrate.

Whup.

Here you go, miss.

Thank you.

You work here In headquarters?

No, I'm out in the field In a managerial position.

I'm here for a meeting With the new executive Vice-president mr. Teal.

Ooh.

He's tough.

You nervous?

Hardly. I've seen so Many suits come and go

That now I just Take them in stride.

I admire that.

Of course I admire anything

With those dark, Smoldering eyes.

[bell rings]

Excuse me.

If you would like--

It's getting a little Crowded in here.

Maybe we could continue This conversation

Over dinner tonight.

You're asking me To dinner?

Dinner and... Who knows?

Oh.

Well, that sounds fine.

Shall we take my car,

Or will your mommy Be driving it?

What?

Oh, and I have One other strict rule.

I like all my guys to eat All their nice vegetables

And not spill anything On their bibbums.

[knock on door]

Mr. Teal, your secretary Must have stepped out For a moment.

I'm rebecca howe. What an honor To meet you, sir.

I'm not martin teal.

I am.

Aah!

I see you've met dennis, My administrative aide.

I'm so sorry, mr. Teal, I didn't realize--

My age Probably threw you.

As it often does.

After all, how many Corporate executives

Have graduated From harvard at 18,

Wharton business school At 20,

And assumed A major leadership role

While still practically in The flower of their youth?

He's fair but firm And hates yes men.

Thank you, dennis. Yes, sir.

Get the door.

I called This meeting

So that we can get Better acquainted,

But now I don't suppose That's necessary.

Believe me, mr. Teal--

May I call you mister?

I would have never have Been so harsh with you In that elevator if...

I hadn't Been so...

Powerfully tempted To say yes.

And I couldn't because I make it a policy

To never date anyone In the company.

Mistake.

I think that's A good policy.

Oh, as a policy, yes. I missed the policy part.

Yes, I think that's A very good policy.

That's why I've decided To have you terminated.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Ha ha ha!

Oh, thank you, sir,

For easing the tension

Of what could have been A very difficult moment.

Yes, I think It's a very good policy

Not to date Fellow employees.

But of course, I'm not An employee, miss howe,

I'm an employer.

That's true, sir.

In light of that,

Would you like to reconsider My earlier offer of dinner?

Oh, well...Uh...

Now you're forcing me

To tell you The real reason

Why I couldn't accept Your poetic

And, may I say, Very touching proposal.

And that reason Is that I...

You're seeing Someone else? That's it!

Very good, sir. Bull's-eye.

Who's the lucky devil?

Oh, it's just somebody At the bar.

Sam malone.

I see. Well, fair enough.

Margie, have Sam malone fired.

[laughs]

Ho ho ho ho! Ha ha ha.

Forgive me again, rebecca.

We'll say no more About this.

Sit down.

I called you here today

Because I've decided To reinstate you

As the sole manager Of cheers.

Oh, thank you, sir.

You're A wonderful man.

And I want to assure you

That our earlier Misunderstanding Will have

Absolutely no bearing On our working Relationship.

Good.

I hope you'll Forgive me, though,

If I do Occasionally dream

About your dark, Haunting eyes.

Nothing would make My eyes happier, sir.

Well, then there's hope.

Till we meet again?

Margie, get me Sam malone at cheers.

Sir?

May I ask why You're calling him?

I just thought I'd Introduce myself.

Have a little chat.

I didn't get Where I am today

Without sizing up The competition.

And I suppose You'll be mentioning

My relationship With sam.

It might come up.

Then I'd better Come clean.

He's at lunch. Call him back in an hour.

It's a bit late For lunch.

He had A big breakfast.

I have to run, sir. Bye-bye.

Ok, little bee buddies!

Here comes dinner!

Equal parts Sugar and water.

Can you blame them For loving it?

Sure nobody Wants to help?

No, they're all yours, Woody.

Ok, but You haven't lived

Till you've heard the soft, Warm, contented hum

Of a well-fed hive.

[buzzing]

That's not it.

Those bees Loose in there?

No, there's nothing To worry about.

I'll just go in And round them up.

My uncle fergie sent His bee-keeping gear

In one Of these boxes.

I don't mean to be An alarmist or anything,

But I think I saw One of those bees fly out When he closed the door.

I--well, I sort of have This thing about insects.

Relax, frasier. The last thing

That bee wants to do Is sting you.

He stings you, He dies.

True.

Unless, of course,

It's one of those A rare rogue bees.

Oh, frasier, There he is!

He just flew Down your shirt!

Ah! I was wrong.

It was just A piece of lint.

Well, thank goodness You told me

Before I made A fool of myself.

I'm ready, guys.

The smoke will calm Them right down

So I can get them All rounded up

Before miss howe even Knows about this.

Oh, hi, miss howe.

Listen, I was wondering If I could

Use your phone for A second in private

With you not in there.

Not that There's anything Wrong or anything.

Why would I think that?

[buzzing]

[door closes]

So...

How did Your meeting go?

It was very nice. I met the new boss mr. Teal.

We exchanged Pleasantries.

You're no longer The co-manager

And have been demoted To just bartender.

Demoted? Just like that?

The company didn't Even have the courtesy

To give me A phone call?

By the way, sam, you had A phone call his afternoon.

You've been demoted.

Why didn't You tell me?

Do I look like An answering service For bartenders?

Sam, I do have some Really good news, though.

What?

I'm accepting Your offer.

Which offer is that?

Dinner, silly.

Is this pity?

'cause I just I want to know How to dress.

No, it's not pity.

Boy, from now on, I'm just going To stop being coy.

[telephone rings]

Cheers.

Sam. Martin teal For you.

Oh.

Uh, hello, mr. Teal.

Oh, no, no.

There's no need To apologize.

As a matter of fact, I think my new position's

Going to get me Into all sorts Of new positions.

Well, y-yes. As a matter of fact,

Wearegoing Out tonight.

Boy, news travels fast.

Um...Yes.

Yes, she is beautiful.

I-I-I will take Good care of her, sir.

Could you--could you hold on For a second here?

I think I-- There's a fire Somewhere here.

You're only Going out with me

'cause you want to Avoid this guy, am I right?

Don't be silly, sam.

You're my guy.

Could you hold For a second?

You told me you Wanted to go out

With somebody who was Rich and powerful.

This guy's rich and powerful.

Yet you still want To date me?

Come on. What's wrong With this picture?

Oh...What's wrong With his picture?

I got to see This turnip.

Hel--yes. Sir?

I found out what Was on fire there.

Well, rebecca... Rebecca's burning My love letters.

She says we're All through. Yeah.

What's that, rebecca? Oh. She wants to talk To you, sir.

No.

Hello, sir.

Yes, it is Very sudden.

Oh, no. It's going To take me

A long, long time To get over this.

8:00 tonight Will be fine.

I'll see you Then, sir.

Sir? Sir, are you there? Listen...

I hope you do us The honor of coming down

To our establishment For a drink, 'cause we...

Well, we'd sure love To welcome you aboard.

Ok. Thank you.

[buzzing]

No sudden movement.

No need to worry.

I'm just going to Take 'em home with me.

I just hope I have exact change For the bus.

No sudden movement.

Oh. I forgot. We close at 2:00.

And I so wanted everyone To meet you, martin.

Well, Maybe next time.

Hi, rebecca. Hi, rebecca.

What were you all Doing down there?

Uh, we were playing Hide and seek.

Who was seeking?

I guess that's why it was Going so slowly.

So you must be, Uh, mr. Teal.

Well, this is An honor, sir.

Meet sam malone And a bunch Of other people.

Yeah, you know,

We've been waiting For this moment For a long time.

Geneva on The car phone, sir.

Will you excuse me For a moment?

[snickers] go ahead. Get it over with.

Get what over with?

The stupid Cradle robber jokes--

Did I cut his meat At dinner?

Or did he order Beanie wienies?

We don't know what you're Talking about, rebecca.

Unless...Well...He-- He is a little young.

What's wrong with That fact that he's young?

Well, no, Nothing at all.

Unless you're planning On taking him

Across state lines.

Ok, guys, let's leave These two lovebirds To themselves here.

Well, all right. Home to my swarm.

I just hope they Stayed in the room

Like I told them.

Woody, that swelling Go down yet, buddy?

Yeah, almost. I can nearly Button my cuffs now.

Well, I hope you had A good time tonight.

No, but at least now I know why

I never stood A chance with you.

I have all these flaws. I'm tall. I'm good-looking.

I'm old enough to vote.

You know, martin can Pick up the phone And get a reservation

At any top restaurant In boston at A moment's notice.

Oh, and I can't?

Well, pick up The phone

And get me A reservation at, uh,

Chez maurice.

I already said I can't.

I do have an in At shea stadium, though.

All right, granted.

Martin isn't exactly What I pictured,

But he can Help my career.

And it wouldn't be in My best interests To say no.

Oh, please!

You don't have the guts To say no to this guy.

That is absolutely Not true.

I choose to not Have the guts to say No to this guy.

And so what if It helps my career?

He gets something Out of it, too.

Yeah. I bet he does.

I resent that.

I'll have you know That he has been

Nothing but a Perfect little ge--

A perfect gentleman,

Which is something You wouldn't understand,

Mr. Groin!

I mean, here are Two people

That are getting Something out of this,

No strings attached,

And nobody's Getting hurt.

End of discussion.

Where's rebecca?

She's in the office, And I'm on my way out.

Sam, before You take off--

Um, are you planning On winning rebecca back?

No.

Excellent.

Because I'm a man Who gets what he wants,

And I've decided I want her.

You're giving her A doorknob?

It's a diamond ring, sam.

You know, Isn't a diamond ring

What guys usually give When they're about to--

That's right, sam.

When I see something I want,

I see no reason To wait for it.

Now if you'll Excuse me,

I have a deal To close.

Don't take no For an answer, sir.

I never do.

Rebecca: aah!

Ohh. [body falls]

Rebecca?

[whistling"Wedding march"]

[theme music playing]