Original subtitles

Diane: cheers is filmed Before a live studio audience.

[tape rewinds]

[beep]

Hi, sam, it's carla. I'll be in late today.

Eddie's really down About his losing streak.

And I want to cheer him up.

It may take Six or seven hours.

You know Hockey players. Bye.

[beep]

Diane: Hi, sam. It's me.

I'm on a little break From the trial.

We had some of the most Fascinating testimony today.

Of course I'm not At liberty to discuss it.

Suffice it to say--

[tape fast-forwards]

And the defendant had The unmitigated gall to--

Oh, they're Calling us back in.

I have to go. Love you. Bye.

[beep]

Uh, this is woody.

Sam, I got home tonight

And remembered diane Called after you left

And wanted me to Give you a message.

"I love you." bye.

[beep]

Sam, this is woody again.

That message I just left, You understand

It was diane saying "I love you," not me. Bye.

[beep]

This is woody again.

Don't misunderstand me. I really like you a lot.

[beep]

This is woody again.

I've been thinking It over, sam.

I do love you.

* making your way In the world today *

* takes everything You've got *

* taking a break From all your worries *

* sure would help a lot *

* wouldn't you Like to get away? *

* sometimes You wanna go *

* where everybody Knows your name *

* and they're always Glad you came *

* you wanna be Where you can see *

* our troubles Are all the same *

* you wanna be where everybody Knows your name *

* you wanna go Where people know *

* people are all the same *

* you wanna go where Everybody knows your name *

Hey there, normie.

Are you gonna do My taxes again This year?

Sure thing, buddy.

Boy, I'm gonna need Some help

Shuffling through These new tax laws, I'll tell you.

What new tax laws?

Maybe I'll just Short form it this year.

We got a little more Eddie lebec Trade talk here.

Oh, yeah?

Terrific. The bruins Are playing gretzky At edmonton tonight.

Boy, another chance To see eddie "Come on in And bring your puck" lebec.

Boy, I tell ya. That suit is a disgrace To his teammates

And this fair city

Come on. Give him a break.

It's not like We're not for the guy,

I mean, Especially with carla Going out with him.

But the guy's in A major slump.

I'll tell you An interesting thing About slumps, too.

Statistics show that They can be grouped Into four categories.

Yeah? Yeah, that's right.

65% physical,

17% emotional,

15% psychological,

And 3% dental.

Cliffie, You know something?

You're a walking Encyclopedia.

Thank you, normie.

Unfortunately, You're also A talking encyclopedia.

Motions, recess, Motions, recess.

When is This thing gonna end?

Two weeks, and The wife hasn't even Taken the stand yet.

Sorry. I missed a couple Words of testimony.

I wanted to go back And double-check it With the court reporter.

Why do you keep your Own record the testimony?

They write down Everything that's said.

They don't Write down emotions...

Attitudes... Telling facial glances.

Study my face. What am I thinking?

As the foreman Of your jury,

I feel that It is my duty

To record each shred Of evidence,

To give us every kernel Of information,

So that we can make

The thoughtful And correct decision.

Well, I've Already made my Decision.

I think He's innocent.

Yes. Yes.

Why don't we just Tell the judge that

And go home?

Wait a minute, Wait a minute.

How can you possibly Think that?

I believed His testimony.

Seems like a good guy.

And he was Impeccably dressed.

I can't believe That I'm hearing this.

These are your grounds For acquittal?

Well, pardon me My objectivity,

But I don't happen To agree.

He did it.

I'm sure of it.

I can tell just By looking at him.

Oh, yeah? Yes.

I was in a very similar Situation to the wife

In that my fiance has The same disarming brand Of charm.

Are you saying That you're about To marry a murderer?

No, Don't stop her. Let her do it.

Ah ha ha ha ha.

Laugh if you will.

I'm not fooled By mr. Grand,

And neither should you be.

Ladies and gentlemen,

The judge would like you Back in the courtroom.

What's going on?

Well, just between us,

Mrs. Grand is Dropping the charges.

Dropping charges? Why?

She realized She still loves Her husband.

Excuse me. Would it be possible

For me to talk With mrs. Grand?

Are you serious? It's over.

I am so happy for him.

I'm happy for us.

No more jury duty.

So where are you guys Going afterward?

I tell you, The guy's a bum.

Sammy, two drafts And a manhattan.

And who's a bum?

Eddie. Fisher. Eddie fisher.

Guy hasn't had A hit record In years.

You better be talking About him and not my eddie.

Worried about The game tonight?

Of course I'm worried about it.

You know eddie's Had a couple of bad games.

Seven.

Nine.

Seven.

I've never Been very good With numbers.

Yeah, well, I got a really good feeling About tonight's game.

The weather's cleared,

It's a full moon,

And it's an even-numbered day In an even-numbered month.

He'll turn it around Tonight, you'll see.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Absolutely, carla. Absolutely.

I don't know if you guys Have the same feeling as I do,

But I think it is just More than a coincidence

That eddie lebec's Bad run started

When he began Dating carla.

I say she's a jinx.

Come on, man, Don't say that.

Carla's finally Found someone She really likes.

What else Could it Possibly be?

That's ridiculous. I don't believe in that.

Hey, frasier, come here.

Listen, tell these guys, Will you,

That there's Nothing to the idea

That carla Might be jinxing eddie.

Well, sam, technically There's no such thing As a jinx unless...

Someone thinks there is.

Now, we know that eddie's Very superstitious.

If he believes That carla's a jinx,

It becomes A self-fulfilling prophecy.

All right, So carla's a jinx.

What are we gonna do About it?

I don't know about The rest of you guys,

But I'm not gonna Let that woman kiss me.

Like there's a real Danger of that Happening.

Hello, everyone.

Hello.

Well, sam, you'll Be happy to know

That you have me back Full-time now.

Oh.

The trial is over.

Oh, good. Who won?

Certainly not justice.

I'm afraid The wife decided To drop all charges.

But I say the husband Is a con artist

Who somehow managed To convince that naive woman

That he loves her.

How can a man Tell a woman He loves her

And yet Try to kill her?

I can see it.

Sammy, could you Step down to my Office for 1 second?

Listen, We were thinking

Maybe someone's Got to tell carla She's jinxing eddie.

And what suicidal idiot Did you have in mind to do that?

Your name Kept coming up.

No, no, no.

Come on, sammy, Look, it's just For all us guys

Whose lives Are so damn shallow

That we depend upon The success of our Local sports teams

To give us a little Identity around Here. Am I right?

No, no, no. No way.

Listen if you want to do this, Then we'll do it Fair and square.

We'll draw straws. Don't look.

Now, I want the person Who has to tell Carla to know

That there's A choir job

Waiting for them In vienna.

On the upside, normie,

You're in for Some great strudel.

Damn. I've never Been to europe.

Listen, uh...Carla.

A few of the guys And I have Been thinking--

Now, this probably Has, like,

Absolutely nothing To do with anything. But...

Hey, norm.

I've been thinking About eddie

And what's happened To his game and all that.

Do you think It's possible

That I could be Jinxing him?

You jinxing eddie?

That's silly. No way!

No.

Sam, come here.

Yeah.

You don't think It's possible

That I'm jinxing Eddie, do you?

No.

Me either. It's got To be something else.

When he comes here,

We're gonna figure it out Together.

You really Like the guy, Don't you?

I'm this close To falling hard for him.

Oh, boy.

Hey, eddie.

[carla] Hey, eddie.

How's it going?

Well, after My last game,

A fan sent me Some new equipment.

Dark glasses And a white cane.

You're just Having a slump.

You'll Get out of it.

I don't know, sam. I've tried everything.

I've been Watching game films, Taking extra practice.

I don't know What to do.

What did you used to do To break out of slumps

When you were pitching, Sam?

Me? Well, I drank myself Into a coma.

Did it work?

Hey, eddie.

Hey, carla.

Tonight's your night. I know it.

Yeah, well... Facing gretzky.

Hey, forget him.

You carrying That lucky clove Of garlic I gave you?

Yes, he is.

I don't know, carla.

I'm starting To get that Choking feeling

I usually get A day or 2

Before they send me Down to the minors.

No, come on, I don't want to hear Any of that.

There's got to be An explanation for this,

And we're going to Figure it out right now.

Let's take it From the beginning, ok?

When was The last time you won?

Let's see, I think That would be

The canadiens Game, eh? That's right.

Because I remember that's The night we met.

Yeah. It could've been Somewhere around then.

So, um, when did things Start going bad?

I guess That would be The next game.

Right.

All right, now, Think really hard.

Have you been doing Anything different During that time?

Um...Eating Different foods,

Taking a different Route to the garden,

Buying different magazines?

Anything? Anything at all

No, no, Nothing at all.

I've been Living my life

The same way As I've always Lived it,

Except For one thing.

Eddie, Do me a favor.

Yeah, carla.

Beat it.

What's The problem?

The problem is...

We just Don't work anymore. It's been a lot of fun,

We both knew It wasn't going To last forever.

So it's time for you To hit the pavement.

I don't get it.

I thought things Were going great for us.

Yeah, well, they Were, but they're Not anymore.

I just don't want To talk about it,

So shove off!

Ok.

Whatever you say.

I'll see you around, I guess.

A pretty gutsy Thing to do.

Gutsy, nothing.

I'm going to prove To all you yutzes

And to myself That I'm no jinx.

If eddie loses tonight,

It's not my fault. You'll see.

He can stink Just as bad without me

As he stunk with me.

It's not romeo and juliet,

But it has a certain charm.

Time running out In the third period.

1-0 in favor of The boston bruins

Gretzky passes.

Saved by eddie lebec!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Sammy, 2 beers And a vodka rocks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on! Is my order up yet?

What? Oh, carla, Can you say--

Sammy, You running a bar

Or you just watching That stupid hockey game.

All right. All right. All right.

You want to know What the score is?

Is boston leading?

Yeah.

Did the oilers Score on eddie?

No.

Not interested.

Whoa!

Penalty?! He calls that slashing?

Frasier, he nearly Cut curry in half there.

Ticky-tack. It's a wussy call.

Let the guys play the game.

Good eve--

Aren't you bill And sherry grand?

That's right.

What an incredible Coincidence.

I was the foreman of The jury at your trial.

Oh, yeah. The one With the notebook.

Oh, you noticed.

It was hard not to.

I was keeping Track of the Testimony.

Diane chambers.

It's a pleasure To meet you.

Why weren't you At the party.

Party? What party?

The party The jury threw for me.

I'm surprised they Would have had it Without you.

You seem so attractive And intelligent.

Yes, well, Those qualities Confuse some people.

Besides, I had to work. Who cares about me?

The important Thing is you two are Back together again.

Thank you.

Could we maybe order?

I'd like a glass Of white wine.

Wine. What would you like?

I'll have A bloody mary.

Ohh.

Excuse me, I know This is very forward Of me, but...

The last time I saw you in court,

You were ranting and Raving, calling this Man a wife-murderer.

It's very shocking To see you With him now,

So blissful.

I guess I just realized How much I love him.

I really Admire you--

Your trust, Your conviction.

If you don't mind A little friendly Advice,

I'd sleep with One eye open.

I'll get the drinks.

It's a good thing You dropped the charges.

I'd hate to have My fate in her hands.

Bill, Why did you have

The power saw In the kitchen?

Sam, a white wine And a...

Bloody mary. Ha ha ha.

Human nature.

What?

That couple over there--

They're the grands.

You remember.

The case on which I was foreman of the jury.

Oh, right, right. The power saw.

You don't trust me!

I tell you, It never ceases To amaze me

How some people Can be so ignorant

Of what is obvious To the rest of the world.

I guess there's something To be said for forgiveness,

In fact, in this rather Jaded day and age,

It's nice to know that Amor vinco omnis.

Hmm?

Love conquers all.

And I, for one, Shall not stand in its way.

Sam, I'm going to pay For this round.

You better hurry. It looks like

He's about to fire up The black and decker.

Oh, don't touch me!

Stay away from me!

Just stay away From me!

What happened?

What happened?

Why don't you check Your stupid little notebook?

So the system Works after all.

Marc messier starting out To center ice.

Oilers trailing 1-0.

They pulled The goaltender.

The pressure's really On eddie lebec now.

Please screw up. Please screw up.

Sam, I don't Understand.

Why does carla Want eddie To screw up?

Well, you see, If eddie loses And carla wins,

Because it proves She's no longer a jinx.

But if he wins, Then carla loses

Because it reinforces The jinx theory.

The old boy loses, Girl wins,

Boy wins, Girl loses, Jinx reinforcement.

If I've seen it Once, I've seen it A million times.

Still 1-0, Boston bruins lead.

Time running out In the game.

Oilers bring it out To center ice.

Here's mark messier.

Across the red line Into the bruins' zone.

Tips it down To anderson.

He shoots, And it's saved by lebec.

Eddie lebec With a great save!

Damn.

Hey, sam.

Hey.

See the game tonight?

I sure did. Congratulations.

Thanks. That felt great.

Did you ever have One of those nights

You just knew You could do no wrong?

Oh, yeah. All the time.

Well...Twice.

Here you go.

Thanks.

What are You doing here?

Just came by For a drink.

Is that ok?

Free country.

You know, carla, After the game tonight,

I figured out Why you dumped me.

I guess I'm a little slow On the uptake

Since I've taken So many on the melon.

I, uh...

I guess you wanted To see if you were Causing my slump.

Yeah, And guess what?

Well, It doesn't seem fair

That the girl that Means more to me

Than anybody else Ever has,

Turns out to be...

Say it. A jinx.

A hex, a whammy, A voodoo, a curse.

What am I Going to do?

You're not Going to do anything.

I'm not gonna be Responsible

For the bruins Missing the play-offs

Or for your career Going down the toilet.

Hey, eddie.

Knock 'em dead.

Yeah.

And watch out For those wrist-shots

Low in the corner On your stick side.

Ok, you got it.

Oh.

I wanted you To have this.

What is it?

It's a recording Of our song.

I thought Maybe sometime

You would, I don't know, Maybe play it and, um...

Think of me.

You know, Think good stuff.

I will.

Ok!

All right, I'll see you, carla.

See ya.

You, too, sam.

Well?

For a refreshing change,

Carla tortelli Ends up without the guy.

This shirt's drip-dry, If you want--

Oh, no. Come on. It's happened So many times,

My tear ducts Have all dried up.

Why don't you Go on home, sam. I'll clean up here.

Is that What you want?

Yeah, I think I want to be alone.

Ok.

But if you want Someone to talk,

I'll be over At diane's.

You know, If you want to call, Just go ahead.

Please call.

Thanks, sam. Good night.

[o, canada plays]

* o canada *

* our home And native land *

* true patriot love *

* in all Thy sons command *

* with glowing hearts *

* we see thee rise... *

Hey, wood, Whatcha working on?

Cheers newsletter.

Cheers doesn't have A newsletter.

Well, There's a scoop.

I'll make that My lead story.

Night, wood.

Night.

Say, carla, you sure You don't want

To go to the game With me tonight?

I'm really On a hot streak.

You're telling me You're on a hot Streak.

The past few weeks

You've Been fantastic!

Not bad On the ice either.

Hey, do me a favor. Beat it! What's the problem?

The problem is We just don't Work anymore.

It's been a lot Of great,

But we both knew It wasn't gonna Last forever.

I don't get it. I thought Things were great between us?

They're not anymore! So hit the bricks!

All right. Whatever you say.

I was in here A couple of weeks ago.

Didn't carla And her boyfriend Break up then?

Yeah. They do that Before every game.

It's kind Of a ritual.

Hey, carla. That's it! We're finished!

Through! Good-bye!

Good-bye!

Red wings thursday night. See you then, eh?

Superstitious little guy,

But he's mine.