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1
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:06,074
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:07,708
Ok, who's next?
3
00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:09,443
Make way
For norm!
4
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:11,745
Come on in,
Mr. Peterson!
5
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,715
We've got the bathroom
Stuffing record!
6
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,184
World's record,
7
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:17,651
Here we come!
8
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,422
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
9
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:22,523
We did it!
10
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,226
Congratulations!
Drinks are on me!
11
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:28,062
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
12
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,731
The door's stuck.
13
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,032
It won't budge.
14
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:35,169
There's too many
People in here.
15
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,738
Bartender must've
Stepped out.
16
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,608
Have a seat. I got
To use the bathroom,
Ok?
17
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:49,750
Occupied!
Occupied!
18
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:59,193
* makin' your way
In the world today *
19
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:02,496
* takes everything
You've got *
20
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:05,133
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
21
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:07,335
* sure would
Help a lot *
22
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:11,705
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
23
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,477
* sometimes
You wanna go *
24
00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:19,847
* where everybody
Knows your name *
25
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:24,752
* and they're always
Glad you came *
26
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:29,022
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
27
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:31,392
* our troubles
Are all the same *
28
00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:32,693
* you wanna be *
29
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:36,597
* where everybody
Knows your name *
30
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,433
* you wanna go
Where people know *
31
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,969
* people are
All the same *
32
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:43,237
* you wanna go *
33
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:46,374
* where everybody
Knows your name **
34
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:08,095
Aw, norm, we had
The bathroom stuffing
Championship in our grasp
35
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,263
And we blew it.
36
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:11,899
Oh, gee, I see
How I miscounted.
37
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,902
I had myself
Down here twice.
38
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,704
See, "Woody" and "Me."
39
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,640
Here's to noble
Failure, huh?
40
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,108
Norm, I can't drink to that.
41
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:22,310
There's nothing noble
About failure.
42
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:26,079
If there was,
You'd be a duke.
43
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:28,782
Diane, hold it.
Those aren't empty.
44
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,117
Sorry, guys.
45
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,719
I'm a little
Distracted tonight.
46
00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:35,256
Oh, yeah? You got
Problems, diane,
Or just the usual?
47
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,460
What do you mean,
"The usual"?
48
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:43,731
You know, just how
You usually are.
49
00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:46,534
How am I usually?
50
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,536
So you're
Distracted, huh?
51
00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:52,506
Yes, I have to come up
With $500 as quickly
As possible?
52
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:56,277
What for, hush money
For miss clairol?
53
00:02:58,045 --> 00:03:01,282
No. But I love
The new thing
54
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:03,116
You've done
With your hair.
55
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,753
I think you should
Continue washing it.
56
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:07,955
Continue...
57
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:10,658
That was
Totally uncalled for.
58
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:12,926
So what do you need
500 bucks for?
59
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:16,564
Well, are you familiar
With the "Farthing for
Your thoughts" bookstore?
60
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:19,032
I've dallied there
Betimes, yeah.
61
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,534
Very funny, norman.
62
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,903
Anyway, I was browsing there
This morning
63
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,806
When I unearthed
A rare hemingway volume.
64
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,675
Oh, I know what
Everybody's thinking,
65
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:30,143
"Diane chamber's
Sensibilities attuned
To hemingway?"
66
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:32,212
Wow, that's
Really close.
67
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:36,684
Anyway, I discovered
That hemingway's
Signature's in the book,
68
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:41,021
And it's priced
At a laughable $500.
69
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,257
The owners of the store
Obviously don't know
What they're doing.
70
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,058
It's right there
On the title page,
71
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,928
"Ernest hemingway,
Madrid, 1927."
72
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:50,598
Why don't you ask
That rich old lady of yours?
73
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,601
She's got more money
Than me and god put together.
74
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:56,270
No, I can't
Ask mummy.
75
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,605
I'd rather die.
76
00:03:57,605 --> 00:04:00,140
I'd like that
Even better.
77
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:03,377
I told her long ago
I was going to prove
My own worth.
78
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:06,980
I refuse to go to
Her begging now.
79
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,616
Oh, come on,
Diane, she's
Your ma.
80
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,618
She carried you
For nine months.
81
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,653
Eight. I was
Premature.
82
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:17,291
Couldn't wait
To get out and
Start yapping.
83
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,327
It has occurred to me
84
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:22,396
That I could possibly
Get the money
85
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,231
Right here at cheers.
86
00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:26,934
If you can't
Rely on friends,
87
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:30,338
Who can you
Rely on?
88
00:04:30,338 --> 00:04:31,839
I thought maybe
I could ask sam.
89
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,374
Sure.
You bet.
90
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:36,610
He's got
A lot of money.
91
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,946
But I don't know,
Given our past
Relationship,
92
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,181
I just don't think
I'd feel comfortable
93
00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:43,851
Borrowing from him.
94
00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:46,019
On the other hand,
I don't know where
Else to turn.
95
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:49,457
Well, miss chambers,
I'm gonna give you
Every bit of money I have.
96
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:51,392
Oh, no, woody.
97
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:53,561
No, no. I insist.
98
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,331
Oh, wow,
That's wonderful.
99
00:04:57,331 --> 00:05:00,734
I must have got
My pockets picked again.
100
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:03,337
Well, welcome to
The big city.
101
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,573
Thank you,
Mr. Clavin.
102
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,308
Woody...
103
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:12,680
Thanks for
Trying to help.
104
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,482
Thanks.
105
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:18,185
Well, I guess
I have no choice.
106
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:21,121
Now, how best
To approach sam?
107
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:26,427
I could appeal
To his generosity,
108
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:28,496
His good nature,
109
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:32,232
And it wouldn't hurt
To remind him
110
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,568
That I'm a woman.
111
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,804
I'd carry
A sign.
112
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:41,709
[knock on door]
113
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,010
Sam?
114
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,278
Is now a bad time?
115
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:48,882
No, but I think
It's about to be.
116
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,652
You goose.
117
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:59,527
Sam, would you say
That our relationship
Has matured?
118
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:03,096
If you mean getting
Kind of old, yeah.
119
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:07,234
You're a regular
Noel coward
120
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,269
With a liquor license.
121
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,304
I don't get it.
122
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:13,641
I'm painfully
Aware of that.
123
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:15,175
Sam...
I know you to be
124
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:18,245
A man
Of pride
And principle,
125
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:20,581
But strength is
Also to be found
126
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:23,316
In the ability
To bend.
127
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:24,652
Witness
The willow,
128
00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,186
Nature's
Strongest tree.
129
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,556
No, I thought
The oak was the
Strongest tree.
130
00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:30,558
Only in furniture.
131
00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:33,594
What about the saying,
"Strong as the mighty oak."
132
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:35,496
The oak can be felled
By a single harsh wind
133
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,164
Under the right
Circumstances.
134
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,567
All right,
Well, what about
Birch or mahogany?
135
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:42,570
Would you shut up
About the damn trees!
136
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:44,505
You brought them up.
137
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:48,175
Sam, would you
Loan me $500, please?
138
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,711
Sure.
139
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:52,946
I haven't even told you
What it's for yet.
140
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,582
Well,
It doesn't matter.
141
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:57,050
Use it for whatever
You babes buy--
142
00:06:57,050 --> 00:07:00,087
Hair curlers, clothes,
Sewing notions,
Whatever.
143
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:03,223
It's nothing
As trivial as that.
144
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:04,758
Hey, listen,
I mean it,
It doesn't matter.
145
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,595
Really, I know
How hard it was
For you
146
00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:11,699
To come in here
Begging like
A dog for a bone.
147
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:14,602
So I'm just trying
To be sensitive
148
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:16,804
And not
Make things worse.
149
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:19,973
Thank you for making it
Easy for me, sam.
150
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:25,613
This really is
An extraordinary attitude.
151
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,347
Well, the truth is
I've had a lot
Of trouble
152
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:28,415
Loaning people money
In the past.
153
00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:30,684
You know, hurt a lot
Of feelings,
154
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,219
Lost a couple
Of buddies once,
155
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,755
So I decided
From now on,
Anybody asks me,
156
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:37,491
I'm just gonna
Give 'em the money
157
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:39,827
And never expect
To see it again.
158
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:42,596
Oh, you'll
See it again.
159
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:45,899
Diane chambers
Always honors her debts.
160
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,267
Hey, I could
Care less, really.
161
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:50,003
You walk out
That door,
162
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,672
I'm not even gonna
Think about that
Money anymore.
163
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:53,907
You'll see it again.
164
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,442
All right.
165
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:57,077
Thank you, sam.
Yeah.
166
00:07:57,077 --> 00:08:00,447
You handled this even
Better than I expected.
167
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:03,684
Even so, it was hard
To come in here
And ask for this
168
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,019
Given our past
Physical relationship.
169
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,622
Yeah. Kinda feels
Like you should be
Giving me the money,
170
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,090
Doesn't it?
171
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,401
Afternoon, everybody.
172
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,303
Norm!
Norm!
Norm!
Norm!
173
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,437
Norman.
174
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:25,806
What's the good word, norm?
175
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:28,108
Plop, plop,
Fizz, fizz.
176
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,309
Aw!
177
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,344
Not the hungry heifer?
178
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,646
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
179
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:35,549
One heartburn cocktail
Coming up.
180
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:38,552
What is this
Hungry heifer place
You guys keep talking about?
181
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,820
It's this terrible
Restaurant
182
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:41,922
Where norm insists on
Torturing himself.
183
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:43,657
Hey, you're always
Giving the hungry
Heifer a bad rap.
184
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:44,992
I don't get it.
185
00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:47,595
So I've had a few
Bad meals there.
186
00:08:47,595 --> 00:08:49,229
It's the best
Value in town.
187
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,798
Woody,
Their steaks come
By the pound.
188
00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:52,600
Wow! The steaks
Are that big?
189
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,803
No, that's where
They get them.
190
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,608
I'll have to
Try it sometime.
191
00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:01,975
I recommend
Thursday night.
That's when
192
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:06,379
The chef does
His tribute
To swine.
193
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,681
Sam...
194
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:10,383
Two vodka tonics
And a rob roy,
Please.
195
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,821
By the way, sam,
Has diane paid back
That loan yet?
196
00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:15,723
No, carla,
She hasn't.
197
00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:18,225
But I could care less.
198
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:19,693
Not one dime?
199
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,829
It's been two
Weeks already,
Hasn't it?
200
00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:23,496
Yes, carla, it has.
201
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,833
She can't expect her
To repay that kind of
Money overnight.
202
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:28,268
She's just
A hard-working waitress.
203
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:31,171
Diane got a job
As a waitress
Somewhere?
204
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,576
Sam, could you
Also give me
Change, please?
205
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,411
You bet.
206
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,714
All right.
207
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:44,484
My, what a
Lovely sweater,
Diane.
208
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,586
Well, thank you,
Carla.
209
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,888
Is it new?
210
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:49,589
Yes, as a matter
Of fact, it is.
211
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,124
How nice of you
To notice.
212
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,593
Well, how could
I help but notice
213
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,029
Such
A beautiful garment?
214
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:59,532
Cashmere,
Unless I miss
My guess.
215
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,068
Yes, it is.
216
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:04,304
Must've cost you
An arm and a leg,
Huh?
217
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:09,142
No, no. It was marked down
2% at haute and bothered.
218
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:12,145
Well, we girls
Deserve to splurge
On ourselves
219
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,648
Once in a while.
Don't you think,
Sam?
220
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:17,250
I could care less.
221
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,687
All right, I'm ready
For a beer, sam.
222
00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:22,489
Hey, what's
Mr. Clavin doing?
223
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:23,924
You're not gonna
Believe this,
224
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,425
But he's trying
To get into
The record book
225
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,227
For walking
Backwards.
226
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,466
Uh...Everybody
Afternoon good.
227
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:37,337
That's "Good afternoon,
Everybody" backwards.
228
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,639
And you're
An assjack.
229
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:45,746
How close are you
To the record, cliff?
230
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:46,947
Well,
In two days,
231
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,749
17 hours,
33 minutes,
232
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:51,451
I'll be backing myself
Into the history books,
Thank you, sammy.
233
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:53,453
I think I'll just take
A quick reverse strut
234
00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:54,888
Around the old
Pool table,
235
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,790
Pick up some women
Backwards.
236
00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,928
All right,
I know you guys think
Cliff is pretty weird,
237
00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:05,699
But I'll say this much
For him--he'll probably
Never reproduce.
238
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,169
Hey, that looks
Pretty good.
239
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,705
Mmm. You should
Just taste it.
240
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,440
What is it?
241
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,475
It's lobster
Salad.
242
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,577
Lobster?
243
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,512
Was there a sale
On that stuff?
244
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,481
This time of year?
Are you kidding?
245
00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:22,883
Like a bite?
246
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:23,984
No. No, no, thanks.
247
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:26,053
No, it's ok.
I got too much.
248
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:29,689
I'll just end up
Feeding it
To a cat.
249
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,424
No, thank you.
Thanks, anyway.
250
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,559
I lost my appetite
Here
251
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:33,927
For some reason.
252
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:36,129
She's got
New shoes, too.
253
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,564
Who does?
254
00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:39,099
You know who,
255
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:44,704
The one dribbling lobster
All over her cashmere.
256
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,307
I could care less.
257
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,641
You know something, sam,
258
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:51,244
Diane certainly
Borrowed this money
From the right guy.
259
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:54,848
I mean, here she is,
Throwing her cash
Around like water
260
00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:56,483
And she owes you
A bundle.
261
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:57,885
Most people I know
Would be going crazy now,
262
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,920
Especially
If they knew
263
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,022
What she
Spent that money on.
264
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,024
Hey, what do
I got to do, tell you
Over and over again?
265
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,325
I don't want to know
What she spent it on.
266
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:06,860
I don't care
What she spent it on,
267
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,662
I'm not interested in
What she spent it on.
268
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:11,999
Sam, by the way, I'm
Gonna be a little
Late tomorrow.
269
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:15,668
I'm having
A facial
And a massage.
270
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:18,138
What did she
Spend it on?
271
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:20,073
A book.
272
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,508
A book.
273
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:22,609
A book.
274
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:23,977
One book?
275
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,678
One single
$500 book.
276
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:29,082
And it's already
Been a movie.
277
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:32,786
A book?
278
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,354
Excuse me...
279
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,624
Would anybody like
To buy some cookies?
280
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:39,659
Oh, I'd love to.
281
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:41,661
I just can't refuse.
282
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:43,931
I'll take
Three boxes.
283
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,665
Thank you, ma'am.
284
00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:47,200
And thank you.
285
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,636
There's a little
Something extra there
For you.
286
00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:51,872
Wow, thank you!
287
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:58,178
Oh, I just love
These things.
288
00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:01,248
Aren't you going
To ask sam if he'd like some?
289
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,450
Of course I am.
Care for a cookie, sam?
290
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,853
Oh, don't worry,
I have a lot more at home.
291
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,587
Help yourself.
292
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,789
Don't mind
If I do.
293
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,462
Ooh,
Those are delicious!
294
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,797
I think I'll have
A few more here.
295
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:22,836
All right, but once you
Start, you just can't
Stop, can you?
296
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:30,810
I probably
Shouldn't have had
That last one.
297
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,227
Kind of like my
Cookies this way.
298
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:50,430
Takes the work
Out of chewing,
You know?
299
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,703
Hey, diane, I'm so sorry
About this afternoon.
300
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:58,138
I don't know
What happened.
301
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,240
I feel like
A sack of dirt.
302
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,010
Don't be so hard
On yourself, sam.
303
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,512
I'm sure
You're not the first
Man in history
304
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:08,815
To throw a frothing fit
Over "Nana doodles."
305
00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:11,351
I just don't know
What came over me.
306
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:12,785
I do.
307
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,187
Despite
Your assurances,
308
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,189
You do not
Lend money
309
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:19,292
With
The sang-froid
You claim.
310
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,428
I would like to see you
In your office.
311
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:23,663
I have something
I want to give you.
312
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:27,200
How about a good spanking?
I think I deserve it.
313
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:32,906
For some
Mysterious reason,
314
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:36,609
You seem to have doubted
My good intentions
To repay you.
315
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:39,079
What's the mystery?
I haven't seen
Dime one.
316
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:42,282
Believe me, I fully
Intend to return
All your money.
317
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:44,351
To prove
My good faith,
318
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,219
I'm going to give
You what I purchased
With the $500
319
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,455
For you to hold
As collateral
320
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,290
Until
I repay you.
321
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:53,560
God, it really
Is a book.
322
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,163
It's a book,
And a very
Valuable book.
323
00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:59,566
It's a first edition
Hemingway.
324
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,401
The sun also rises.
325
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,037
Boy,
That's real profound.
326
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,576
I purchased it
For $500,
327
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:14,214
But I'm sure
It's worth
A great deal more.
328
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:17,084
It's signed by
Ernest hemingway
Himself.
329
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:18,818
For 500 bucks,
You'd think margaux hemingway
330
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:22,889
Would come over to your house
And act it out for you.
331
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,992
I'm taking
A big risk
332
00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:26,994
Entrusting this
To you, sam.
333
00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:29,562
Please, go put
It in the safe.
334
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,631
And whatever you do,
Don't let anything
Happen to it.
335
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:35,335
Don't touch it,
Don't scratch it,
Don't scratch with it.
336
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,304
Hey, you know,
You really make me angry
337
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:39,906
When you treat me like
Some kind of animal.
338
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,274
I'm sorry, sam.
339
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,310
It won't happen again.
340
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:46,279
Just put it
In the safe, please.
341
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:51,151
I'm sure there's
Room in there right next
To your bowl of kibble.
342
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,593
Smells boring.
343
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:17,744
Mr. Clavin,
You're walking forward.
344
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,312
What happened
To the record?
345
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:22,582
I was hours away,
And I met utter defeat.
346
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:23,983
That's too bad.
347
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,785
Yeah, it's
Doubly tragic.
348
00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:27,587
If I'd have had a witness,
349
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:31,024
I would've gotten
The world's record
For the loudest scream
350
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,526
After I backed into
Ma's curling iron.
351
00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,463
Well, I'll tell you
Something, mr. Clavin,
352
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,165
Whether you set
The record or not,
353
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:40,467
Everyone here
Considers you a winner.
354
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,535
That's pronounced
"Wiener."
355
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:47,740
Hey, hey!
356
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:48,841
Diane around yet?
357
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,143
Not yet.
358
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:54,047
Good. Does anybody
Know how to fix this?
359
00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:55,482
What is it?
360
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:58,651
Well, it's diane's
$500 book.
361
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,855
No wonder
It's so expensive.
362
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,424
It's inflatable.
363
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:07,160
No, it's not supposed
To look like that.
364
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,995
What the heck
Happened
To that?
365
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:14,234
Well, I got interested
In the darn thing
And I took it home with me.
366
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:15,968
Picture this--
367
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:18,971
I get into
A nice hot tub.
368
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:21,141
I'm lying down to soak
And read, naked as a jaybird.
369
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,143
And I'm reading,
And I'm reading...
370
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:27,780
Hold on. I can't get
One of your socks off.
371
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:30,250
Never mind.
I can.
372
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,984
Anyway, I'm reading
And reading,
373
00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:34,020
And I finally come
To the part
374
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,588
Where they tell us
The terrible thing
375
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:38,091
That happened
To jake barnes guy
During the war.
376
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,992
What's that?
377
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:42,729
Well, let's just say that
Suddenly he could hit
Those high notes
378
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,464
Like he never could before.
379
00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,733
Ouch!
380
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:50,670
Yeah, ouch. That's why
I dropped the book
In the water.
381
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:53,473
Now the darn thing
Won't shut.
382
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:56,075
All right,
Just rip out
Every other page.
383
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,446
Come on, man!
Diane's gonna be
Really angry at me.
384
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:02,482
She told me
Not to touch it.
385
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:05,618
I touched it,
And now it's fat.
386
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,088
Hello, everybody.
387
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,691
Hi. Hey, how's it going?
388
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:12,825
Splendidly.
389
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:15,128
How's my
Precious volume?
390
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:17,464
Fine. Why
Do you even
Bring it up?
391
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,499
Don't be
So sensitive.
392
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,502
I just asked
Because I bought
393
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:26,038
The most beautiful
Antique bookstand for it.
394
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:28,208
Oh. Is it expandable?
395
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,312
It's very nice.
It's very nice.
396
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:35,348
The perfect complement
To my inscribed first edition
397
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,150
The sun also rises.
398
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,518
Isn't it exquisite?
399
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:41,087
Excuse me.
My name is bruce sayers.
400
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:44,824
I'm an avid collector
Of 20th century
American literature.
401
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,393
Hello.
Diane chambers.
402
00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:50,363
I heard you say
That you have an inscribed
Sun also rises.
403
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,831
Is it in good condition?
404
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:55,235
Oh, it's a lovely copy.
No jacket, of course,
405
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:57,537
But signed
By papa himself.
406
00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:59,539
And it's a
A lovely thought.
"Dear f. Scott,
407
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:03,443
Boy, that zelda
Is one crazy chick."
408
00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:07,547
It's a simple autograph.
409
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:11,484
I wonder if it
Might be for sale?
410
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:15,121
No, I couldn't possibly
Place a monetary value
411
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:16,556
On something
So personal to me.
412
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,558
I'd give you $1,000
For it.
413
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:21,728
Make the check out
To diane chambers.
414
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:24,564
Sam,
Will you get this
Man's hemingway?
415
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,568
No, you
Can't do that.
416
00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:31,204
No, it's perfect. Now
I can pay you back.
417
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:32,605
No, you can't sell
The book.
418
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:35,041
You love
The book, diane.
419
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,710
Sam, we love people.
420
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,479
We own books.
421
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:41,080
Besides,
Even as a child,
422
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,582
I found hemingway to be
423
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:45,084
Pretentious
And overmannered...
424
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:47,186
For my taste.
425
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,956
Sam, go get it
From the safe.
426
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:52,492
Safe, all right.
Yeah. This may
Take a minute.
427
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:54,694
The safe--
The combination's
Kind of complex.
428
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,464
Don't you remember?
It's your birthday!
429
00:19:57,464 --> 00:20:00,567
It is? Hell,
I should be out
There celebrating.
430
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,235
Go, sam.
431
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,581
[knock on door]
432
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:15,748
Sam?
433
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,653
Yeah?
434
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:22,522
I thought
It would be better
435
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:24,724
To conduct our business
In private.
436
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,626
What's taking you
So long?
437
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,828
Well, I was
Just thinking...
438
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,196
Say no more.
439
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:33,400
You know, I was about
To open the safe,
440
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,369
And this little
Voice in the back
Of my head said,
441
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:39,539
"Don't let diane
Sell the book.
442
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:40,840
She loves
That book."
443
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,742
The voice was wrong.
444
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,010
Open the safe.
445
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,678
I completely understand
The value of sentiment,
446
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,347
But I must
Have that book.
447
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,848
Yeah. Me, too.
448
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:52,852
That's why I'm going
To give you $1,010.
449
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:53,953
Sam!
450
00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:54,954
$1,100.
451
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:56,456
$1,110.
452
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,657
Do you know
What you're doing?
453
00:20:57,657 --> 00:20:58,458
$1,150.
454
00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:00,393
I know
It sounds crazy,
455
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:02,061
But when I was
Getting your book
Out of the safe,
456
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:03,330
Very carefully,
457
00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:06,366
I started to look
Through the pages
458
00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:07,734
Very,
Very carefully,
459
00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:11,604
And I, well,
I fell in love
With the darn thing.
460
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,105
You're serious,
Aren't you?
461
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,874
Yeah,
You bet I am.
462
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:15,875
$1,160.
463
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:18,044
It must be
An extraordinary specimen.
464
00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:19,045
$1,175.
465
00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:20,112
$1,200.
466
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:21,848
Stop! Enough.
467
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:24,584
You're throwing around
Monetary figures here
468
00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:28,621
As if they had a place
In the art world.
469
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:31,324
Sam malone, you've
Taught me a lesson
470
00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:33,960
About the true value
Of literature.
471
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,929
I'm sorry, the book
Is no longer for sale.
472
00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:38,431
I want sam to have it.
473
00:21:38,431 --> 00:21:39,766
All right!
474
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:40,967
Hey, I hope there
Are no hard feelings
Here,
475
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,101
Sayers, old man.
476
00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:44,504
Well, I can't say
I'm not disappointed,
477
00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:46,406
But it's heartening
To know there are
People around like you,
478
00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:49,709
People who love books.
479
00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:53,480
Love? I just wish
You could eat them.
480
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,082
I don't know
What to say.
481
00:21:56,082 --> 00:22:00,252
I'm looking at you
In an entirely
New light.
482
00:22:00,252 --> 00:22:02,321
What do you mean?
483
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,923
Well,
I don't know myself,
484
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,458
But I think tonight
485
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:07,827
I saw
In full flower
486
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:11,564
The sensitivity
You try so hard
To conceal.
487
00:22:11,564 --> 00:22:15,668
Oh, well,
That's no big deal.
488
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:17,336
Oh, no!
489
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,606
You were wonderful!
490
00:22:19,606 --> 00:22:22,642
Well, I guess my little
Masquerade is over.
491
00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:26,112
I am sensitive
As all get out.
492
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:30,417
Honestly, sam,
I don't know
493
00:22:30,417 --> 00:22:32,752
What brought about
This change,
494
00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:37,390
But I find myself
Extremely attracted
To you just now.
495
00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:39,459
Something's stirring
Inside me.
496
00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:42,328
I don't know
What it is,
497
00:22:42,328 --> 00:22:44,431
But I'm
Becoming flushed.
498
00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:49,969
Maybe it is getting
A little hot in here.
499
00:22:51,471 --> 00:22:53,606
Very hot.
500
00:22:53,606 --> 00:22:57,777
Do you mean all I have
To do is go nuts over a book?
501
00:22:57,777 --> 00:23:01,748
I know it's crazy.
All the warning signals
Are flashing.
502
00:23:01,748 --> 00:23:03,716
I never intended
For this to happen.
503
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:06,786
But it's out
Of my control.
Kiss me, sam.
504
00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:10,690
The truth is,
505
00:23:10,690 --> 00:23:14,126
I've been thinking about
Getting a lot more books.
506
00:23:17,797 --> 00:23:21,100
Maybe even getting
A library card.
507
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:22,735
Oh, sam!
508
00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:23,803
What?
509
00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:25,705
Isn't it amazing
How life works out?
510
00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:27,874
When we woke up
This morning,
511
00:23:27,874 --> 00:23:29,942
Who would have guessed
That we'd end the day
This way?
512
00:23:29,942 --> 00:23:32,378
Just look. You have
A beautiful book,
513
00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:34,981
I made myself a tidy
Little profit,
514
00:23:34,981 --> 00:23:38,618
And we're in
Each other's arms.
515
00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:44,591
Mm-hmm.
A tidy little profit?
516
00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:48,995
Yes. Your last bid
Was $1,200.
517
00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:53,065
You're expecting
$1,200 from me?
518
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:58,838
No, of course not,
You big foolish man.
519
00:23:58,838 --> 00:24:02,408
I intend to deduct
The $500 I owe you,
520
00:24:02,408 --> 00:24:05,111
And you really
Only owe me $700.
521
00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:07,246
But let's stop talking
And start rejoicing.
522
00:24:07,246 --> 00:24:08,981
Hold me, sam.
523
00:24:12,652 --> 00:24:15,087
Sam, you're holding
Me a little tight.
524
00:24:16,255 --> 00:24:17,524
Sam...
525
00:24:17,524 --> 00:24:19,258
I can't breathe.
37382
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