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1
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:05,806
Carla: hey. Cheers is filmed
Before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:09,443
Hey, everybody.
I got a letter
From my dog.
3
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:11,879
Pretty spiffy
Handwriting for a dog.
4
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:13,914
Well, it's not actually
From my dog.
5
00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:16,850
My mom writes the letters
As if they're from
My dog truman.
6
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:20,054
Weird beyond imagination.
7
00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:22,156
Listen to this.
8
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,457
"Dear woody,
9
00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:25,126
"Boy, what a great day
I had.
10
00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:27,027
"I pulled all the laundry
Off the line,
11
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,596
"Chewed up your father's
Bowling shoes,
12
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:31,031
"And grabbed the yankee
Pot roast off the table.
13
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,700
Yum, yum."
14
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,368
Isn't that cute?
15
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,904
Mutt eats better
Than I do.
16
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:39,807
"By the way, now that
You're not here
To keep me in line,
17
00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,909
"Your mother's thinking
About putting me to sleep.
18
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,511
"I certainly
Wouldn't blame her,
19
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:46,380
"And I don't want
You to, either,
After I'm gone...
20
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,617
Sam, cover me.
I gotta make a phone call.
21
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,691
* makin' your way
In the world today *
22
00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:00,528
* takes everything
You've got *
23
00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:03,531
* takin' a break from
All your worries *
24
00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:07,168
* sure would help a lot *
25
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:10,638
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
26
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,176
* sometimes
You wanna go *
27
00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:19,213
* where everybody
Knows your name *
28
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:25,186
* and they're always
Glad you came *
29
00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:27,521
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
30
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:30,258
* our troubles
Are all the same *
31
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:35,529
* you wanna be where
Everybody knows your name *
32
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:38,166
* you wanna go
Where people know *
33
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:40,601
* people are all the same *
34
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:44,838
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name *
35
00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:05,659
Drinks are up.
36
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,027
Right away.
37
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:08,028
[sighs]
38
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,997
I need
A vodka gibson up,
39
00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,332
A bloody mary,
40
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:12,866
A johnnie walker black,
2 beck's,
41
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,268
And change for a 20.
42
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,936
Change for a 20, sam.
43
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,271
Damn!
44
00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:19,273
Carla's been on the phone
For 2 hours here.
45
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,375
She probably got
An obscene phone call
46
00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:23,043
And won't let him off.
47
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,212
Ok.
48
00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:26,514
5, 10, 10, 20.
49
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:28,716
Can you believe it, sam,
50
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,484
How far I've come?
51
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,220
Right before you eyes,
52
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:34,488
I've turned into
A waitressing machine.
53
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,224
Even in this pandemonium,
54
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:38,826
I have everything
Perfectly under control.
55
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:42,630
There you go.
56
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,236
And...
57
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:49,703
Here's your change
For the 20.
58
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:50,638
Thank you.
59
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:53,907
See what I mean?
60
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:56,444
Always sit
At her station.
61
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,613
Did you hear that, sam?
62
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:00,414
Uh-huh.
63
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,883
It's still busy.
64
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,252
Sam, I've gotta get home
65
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:05,553
And start preparing
For that interview
66
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,221
For the part-time job.
67
00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:08,222
What interview?
68
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:09,490
Well, you know,
69
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,024
The teaching assistant
At the college.
70
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,261
Oh, right, right, right.
All right, go on. Take off.
71
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:14,828
Woody and I will
Take care of you here.
72
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,163
Thanks.
73
00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:17,431
Listen, don't fall
In that same trap
74
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,733
You did with sumner.
75
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,535
Sam...
76
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,104
My intimate relationship
With sumner
77
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:25,439
Had nothing to do...
78
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:28,542
With the fact that I was
His teaching assistant.
79
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,279
Sumner took advantage
Of a...
80
00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:32,680
Naive young coed.
81
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,283
I have learned since then
From bitter experience.
82
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:37,551
I'm older, wiser,
And...
83
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:41,555
I have a lot more units
Under my belt.
84
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:44,292
Yo, woody.
85
00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:46,394
Give me a refill,
Will you?
86
00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:48,228
Comin' up.
87
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,464
You know, mr. Peterson,
You're amazing.
88
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,633
How do you keep
Putting them away?
89
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:56,003
Well, it's all done
With mirrors, son.
90
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,905
I, uh...
91
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,707
Just never look in one.
92
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,676
Hey, everybody.
93
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:03,577
Hey.
94
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:04,945
Buckle your seat belts
95
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:07,315
And get ready for a blast
Into the unknown.
96
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,782
I've got a phenomenon here
97
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,984
Which will I'm sure
Will inspire
98
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,586
The legendary jack palance
99
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,788
To, uh, utter
The infamous words,
100
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:15,923
"Believe it or not."
101
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,725
Get a load of this.
102
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,127
What's that?
103
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,962
A potato, right?
104
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,464
Well, uh, yeah,
105
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:26,133
It's no ordinary, common,
Garden variety russet,
106
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:29,570
Though I'm proud to say
I did grow it myself.
107
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:31,639
It's the spittin' image
108
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,974
Of richard milhous nixon.
Look.
109
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:38,278
[norm laughing]
110
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,613
You find this amusing?
111
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,814
No. No,
I find it
112
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,150
Historically
Significant, cliff.
113
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,018
Look.
Look at the eyes.
114
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:47,220
Well, all right, forget
About the third one there.
115
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:48,522
But look at those eyes.
116
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,857
The ski-jump nose,
117
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:51,191
The jowls, huh?
118
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:52,526
He's even got
119
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:55,128
A little bit of sweat
There on the upper lip.
120
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,597
Come on, will you?
121
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:58,699
Cliff: uh, all right.
Maybe this
Will help you out.
122
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,402
[imitating nixon]
I am not a crook.
123
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:05,272
Sorry. It still
Doesn't look like nixon.
124
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:08,376
It sure sounds
Like him, though.
125
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,144
Hi, guys.
126
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,380
Hey, uh, carla.
127
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,547
I got a potato here
128
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:14,748
Looks just like
Richard nixon.
129
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,385
Big deal.
Find one that doesn't,
130
00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:19,387
Then get back to me.
131
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,124
We were really hopping
Around here
132
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:25,626
A couple hours ago,
You know.
133
00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:27,461
So why didn't you
Call me sooner?
134
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,129
I tried to,
But your phone was busy.
135
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,631
I'm sorry.
136
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,666
My oldest must have been
Talking to his girlfriend.
137
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,334
Where's diane, anyway?
138
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,869
I gave her
The night off.
139
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,071
She's trying to interview
For a t.A. Job
140
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,507
Down at the college.
141
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:41,241
She'll never get it.
142
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,611
She's a big "A"
With no ts.
143
00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:47,247
So anthony has got
Himself a girlfriend, huh?
144
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:48,682
Ah, it's sickening,
Sam.
145
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,685
Every day it's
Annie this, annie that.
146
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,555
He walks around
The apartment
All moony-eyed.
147
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:57,558
I think my kid's
Turned into a weenie.
148
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,226
Don't be too hard
And all that, carla.
149
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:02,229
You know, uh, men will do
Some pretty strange things
150
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,064
To have a woman
By their side.
151
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,999
In your case,
Inflate one.
152
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,273
You know who I hold
Responsible for this?
153
00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:14,408
Nick.
154
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:15,609
Who's nick?
155
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,110
That's anthony's father.
156
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:19,179
His biological father.
157
00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:22,550
Wow, a scientist.
158
00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:27,721
You know, what my boy
Needs now
159
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,290
Is just a little
Adult male companionship
160
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:32,125
To snap him out of this.
161
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,527
How about it, sam?
162
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,295
Come on.
Find somebody else.
163
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:36,697
Call nick.
164
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,932
Come on. You know
Nick's idea of fatherhood.
165
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:41,569
When the egg splits,
So does he.
166
00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:45,873
What, exactly,
Would I have to do?
167
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:48,576
Just...Take him out
And show him a great time.
168
00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:50,343
You know, a real
Night on the town.
169
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:51,645
Wild, crazy,
170
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,614
Borderline illegal.
171
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,949
I guess I could
Handle that.
172
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:56,884
Yeah, why not?
173
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,486
It's about time
The kid learned
174
00:06:58,486 --> 00:07:00,220
How much fun it was
To play the field.
175
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,421
Right.
176
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,723
Yeah, well, wait
Just a second here.
177
00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:04,357
Let's not give marriage
A bad rap, huh?
178
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:05,893
It's a fine institution.
179
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:08,462
As a matter of fact,
Go ahead and ask
Any single man here
180
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:11,832
If he wouldn't gladly
Trade places with me
For a night.
181
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,000
Hmm?
182
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,802
Anybody?
183
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,004
Please?
184
00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:18,338
One night.
185
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:19,740
Aw, come on,
Fellas.
186
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:22,476
I'm offering
Transportation
And a hot meal.
187
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,849
Uh, no, no,
This is, uh,
188
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,584
Second term nixon.
Yeah.
189
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:32,319
Yeah, this tater
Is definitely
190
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:35,288
Showing the strain
Of watergate here.
191
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,858
Well--not--not newsworthy?
192
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:40,427
Well, excuse me for living,
There, buddy boy.
193
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:44,598
Yeah. I'll call you back
When my potato marries
A rock star.
194
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,635
New york times,
My foot.
195
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:50,337
If the news doesn't
Come out of moscow,
196
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:51,605
They're not interested.
197
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,340
Hey. Buddy,
What do you think?
198
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,775
Did you like the game?
199
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:56,510
Yeah, that was great.
Where's your phone, sammo?
200
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,345
Aw, come on.
Give her a break, will you?
201
00:07:58,345 --> 00:07:59,647
You called her
4 times tonight.
202
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,481
She's probably
Half asleep.
203
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,817
[telephone rings]
204
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,620
Cheers.
205
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,556
Just a minute.
206
00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:10,290
What are you
Looking for?
207
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:13,426
Some girl wants to talk
To the outlaw of love?
208
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:16,263
She tracked me down.
209
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:18,699
Hey, hey,
That's annie.
That's annie.
210
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:19,967
Let me have it.
211
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,434
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
212
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:24,605
He's fine, annie,
And he'll call you tomorrow.
213
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,506
Yes, he's still a hunk.
214
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,342
Ok, I will.
Good night.
215
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,745
I owe you one, sam.
216
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:37,050
Anthony, consider yourself
Kissed good night.
217
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,286
Ok. You want that
In root beer, huh?
218
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:41,989
Great. That's
Me and annie's favorite.
219
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:45,258
She loves it when
I make it come out
My nose.
220
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,493
Yeah, I know.
221
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:49,396
That always works
For me, too.
222
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,898
Listen...
223
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:52,499
Anthony.
224
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,201
I know you like
Annie a lot--
225
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,636
Oh, no.
226
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,606
I love her.
227
00:08:58,606 --> 00:09:00,007
Anthony,
228
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:02,342
There's only 2 times
A man uses that word--
229
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:04,544
Tennis and when he's already
Paid for the room.
230
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,746
You know what I mean?
231
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:08,315
My ma, she says
The same thing.
232
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:11,652
She acts like
We're kids or something.
233
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,557
I'll tell you,
Just between you and me,
234
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,159
I mean, you don't
Tell my ma.
235
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:22,429
Me and annie,
We're talking about
Getting married.
236
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:23,430
What?
237
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:24,698
You get her pregnant?
238
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:26,233
Oh, she ain't pregnant!
239
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,769
We think that
Sex before marriage
Is a sin.
240
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:30,938
And afterwards,
It just one more
Damn thing
241
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:33,306
To take your pants
Off for, you know?
242
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,745
Anthony, you don't know
What you're doing.
243
00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:39,546
I mean, look at me,
Will you?
244
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:40,748
I'm single.
245
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:42,950
I got a great life
Going here.
246
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,084
Look here.
247
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,453
Most guys go through
Their entire life
248
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:47,587
With only one woman.
249
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,588
Yeah.
250
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,691
I got 3 under "Q".
251
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,562
This whole book is women?
252
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:57,297
This book and my life.
253
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,232
Tell you what.
254
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,367
Pick a name.
Any name.
255
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,770
I want to show you
What a no-strings good time
256
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,772
I got at my fingertips here.
257
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:06,373
Go ahead. Any name.
258
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:07,574
Beth hollister.
259
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,342
Beth hollister!
260
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:10,811
All right!
Very good choice.
261
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,312
[punching numbers]
262
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:13,580
Toll call, but...
263
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:14,948
It's worth it.
264
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,351
Hey!
265
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:19,486
Beth?
266
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:20,620
Hi. It's sam malone.
267
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,922
Yeah. Ha ha!
268
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,490
Yeah, I know
It's been a long time.
269
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,925
That's why I'm calling.
270
00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:26,727
I thought maybe we could
Get together tonight.
271
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:30,063
Oh, no, really?
Well, is it something
You can put off until later?
272
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,400
No, no, no, uh,
273
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,603
No, I wouldn't want you
To miss your first
Weight watchers meeting.
274
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:38,605
Uh...Uh--
275
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:39,606
Tomorrow. Me.
276
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:40,640
Well, uh...
277
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,641
Ah.
278
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,110
God, beth, well, uh--
279
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,212
I think my appendix
Just burst.
Will you excuse me?
280
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:51,752
Being single means
You gotta think fast
On your feet.
281
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,287
Go ahead,
Pick another name.
Any name.
282
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,657
Candy--candy simpson?
283
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,192
Candy simpson.
284
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,560
Come to papa.
285
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:01,561
All right.
286
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:02,996
You're good, kid.
287
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,265
Then, again,
So is candy.
288
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:08,268
Hi. Is candy in?
289
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,903
Candy! Sam malone.
290
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,772
Yeah.
You remember me?
291
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,240
Yeah, all right.
292
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,641
You still into, uh,
293
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,676
Hot fudge sundaes
For breakfast?
294
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,011
You're not?
295
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,714
Oh, hell, I'm on
The wrong page here. Uh...
296
00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:23,483
Listen, uh...
297
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:27,654
Listen, what I want--
What I want to say here,
Candy, is...
298
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:29,389
I want you.
299
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,958
Yeah.
300
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:33,026
Well, there you go.
301
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,895
Uh...Will you excuse me
For a minute?
302
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,396
This is getting
Kind of hot.
303
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,065
Uh, I'm gonna take this
In my office.
304
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,666
Woody, you want to
Hang that up?
305
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:42,135
Just, uh, make yourself
Comfortable there.
306
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:46,306
That guy's got
A great life, doesn't he?
307
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,240
Great?
308
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,176
He's got no one
To come home to,
309
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:52,746
Nobody to care about,
And no reason to even
Get up in the morning.
310
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:56,383
And he drives a corvette.
Ha ha!
311
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:13,166
This looks excellent,
Miss chambers.
312
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:16,003
I'd have to say
On the basis
Of this resume
313
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:18,405
That, uh, you're
My leading candidate.
314
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:21,408
Ohh! I can't tell you
How thrilled I am.
315
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,911
I think you're the best
In your department,
316
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,712
And I'd love
To work with you.
317
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:26,713
Well, good.
318
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:27,915
Now, I do have to interview
319
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,749
A couple of people
Tomorrow.
320
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,519
But I'll be
Letting you know anon.
321
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:35,122
[british accent]
Terribly good to hear
The king's english.
322
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:35,923
Ha ha ha!
323
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,290
Thank you for coming.
324
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,458
Oh, my pleasure.
325
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,726
Oh, by the way,
326
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,661
I got an excellent
Recommendation for you.
327
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:43,630
Recommendation?
328
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:44,865
Mm-hmm.
From sumner sloan.
329
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,566
He's a colleague of mine.
330
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:48,869
You used to work
For him, right?
331
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,237
That's right.
332
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:51,404
How nice of him.
333
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:52,205
Lovely man, sumner.
334
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:55,508
He gave you
Very high marks.
335
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:56,709
Oh?
336
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,078
Ha ha ha ha.
337
00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:58,879
Well.
338
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,413
Good-bye.
339
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:01,681
Good-bye.
340
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:02,816
[door closes]
341
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:04,751
[door opens]
342
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:06,386
High marks?
343
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:10,423
What, exactly,
Did you mean
By that?
344
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:12,225
Well, among other things,
345
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:15,695
That you have
An unbridled enthusiasm.
346
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:16,897
Ah.
347
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:19,266
[laughs nervously]
348
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:20,700
I see.
349
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,635
Good-bye.
350
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:23,871
[door closes]
351
00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:25,105
[door opens]
352
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:27,908
I'm a little unclear
On "Enthusiasm."
353
00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,610
Well, enthusiasm.
354
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:31,912
That you don't mind
355
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,413
Taking on extra duties
356
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,183
And working overtime
If necessary.
357
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:41,721
Of course
That's what he meant.
358
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,456
What else could he mean?
359
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:44,724
Ha ha ha!
360
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:45,993
Good-bye.
361
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,897
I will not
Sleep with you!
362
00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:52,065
What?
363
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:55,268
Oh, my god,
364
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,437
I can't believe
I said that.
365
00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:01,208
I think that concludes
Our interview.
366
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:03,376
Dr. Moffat,
I'm terribly sorry.
367
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,778
I didn't for a moment
Mean to imply
368
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,547
That you want
To have sex with me.
369
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,749
I'm sure that's
The farthest thing
From your mind.
370
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:12,552
Not that you don't have
A healthy interest in sex.
371
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:15,122
I'm sure you think
About it all the time.
372
00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:17,224
Well, not all the time.
You're not obsessed.
373
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:20,660
But when it comes to sex,
I'm sure you could
Hold your own
374
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,229
With a man half your age.
375
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:26,766
That's not to say
376
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,768
That you like
Young men.
377
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,170
Or any men.
378
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:35,976
Not that any man
Wouldn't be happy
To have you.
379
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,777
As would any woman.
380
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:39,179
Except me.
381
00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:41,514
Although I could be,
But I'm not.
382
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,583
But that's not saying
That I couldn't be.
383
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:46,987
This just isn't
The time or the place
Or the circumstance.
384
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:49,156
But by that,
I'm certainly
Not saying
385
00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:50,690
That you're flabby.
386
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,492
Why did I say that?
387
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:55,028
This isn't going well,
Is it?
388
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:01,801
Ok.
389
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:02,802
All right, everybody.
390
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:03,803
Open your eyes!
391
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:06,073
[humming hail to the chief]
392
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:09,676
What's so funny?
393
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:12,212
A blue suit
With a brown tie?
394
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:13,480
Ha ha!
395
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,881
Well, hey, uh...
396
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,384
I, uh, did the best
I could, you know.
397
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:20,453
It's not easy coming up with
A ken doll on short notice.
398
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:23,056
You know, I, uh,
I wonder if you guys realize
399
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,357
How limited
His wardrobe is.
400
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:25,658
Now, barbie's
Is much more extensive.
401
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:28,828
She's got her own car,
Little high heels--
402
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,197
Look, cliffie, look.
403
00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:31,531
You're my best friend, ok?
404
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,533
Now, if the situation
Were reversed,
405
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,568
I'd want you
To say this to me.
406
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:38,671
You've gone completely
Off the deep end.
407
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,573
You've always been
Kind of a weird guy,
408
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,542
But this is just
A little bit too much.
409
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:45,612
I want you to
Look what you've done
410
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:46,913
And think about this.
411
00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:49,116
You've knocked the head
Off a doll
412
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:52,319
And put a potato
In its place.
413
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,321
And you actually
Want people
414
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:57,024
To, like,
Come and know this.
415
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,561
Well, yeah, I...
416
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,130
I guess you're right,
Normie.
417
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,431
All right, yeah.
418
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:06,466
Been taking it
A little bit
Too seriously.
419
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,768
I, uh, I been under
Some strain lately,
And...
420
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:09,969
It's ok. It's ok.
421
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,971
Thanks, you know.
Just thanks for...
422
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,606
Pulling in those reins
And saying,
423
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:16,176
"Whoa, paint.
You're working up
A froth."
424
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:21,148
Hey.
425
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:22,782
How's anthony doing, carla?
426
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:25,485
I hope he didn't break
Little annie's heart.
427
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,787
But then again,
He did see life
In the sammy lane.
428
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,989
Oh!
429
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,759
How do you do that?
How do you make your eyes
Shake like that?
430
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,127
Ow!
431
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:36,129
Anthony's talking
About getting married.
432
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:42,001
Aw, gee! I don't know
What happened
433
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,170
After he left here,
434
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:44,771
But up until that point,
435
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:47,640
Annie had "Destination:
Dump city" written
All over her.
436
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,410
Yeah, well, he said
He'd only been thinking
About getting married
437
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,579
Until last night
When you changed his mine.
438
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,614
No way did he want
To end up, and I quote,
439
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:57,550
"A lonely old
Skirt chaser like sam."
440
00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:58,851
Blasphemy.
441
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,887
What'd you tell
My kid, huh?
442
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,689
Well...Basically,
443
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,057
Why buy the cow
444
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,858
When you can get
The milk for free?
445
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,561
Well, I'll tell you why.
446
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:09,729
Companionship,
447
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,231
Warmth on a cold night,
448
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:13,400
Someone to share
Your old age with.
449
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,069
You think
He should marry her?
450
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:19,306
I thought we were
Talking about a cow.
451
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,612
Hey, ma.
452
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:26,979
Hello, mrs. Tortelli.
453
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,316
Vixen.
454
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:31,218
Nice to see you, too.
455
00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:32,519
What are you
Doing here?
456
00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:34,521
Look, ma,
I don't like us
457
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:37,090
Being all mad
At each other.
458
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:39,292
[quietly]
You know I love you.
459
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,561
So let's be buds.
460
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,263
What do you want?
461
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,498
I don't want nothin'.
462
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,268
Uh, except...
463
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:50,803
For you to sign
This consent form, ma.
464
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:53,273
Consent?
465
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:55,908
You want me to sign
A consent form?
466
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:59,246
Yeah. Annie's parents
Already agreed
To sign it, ma.
467
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:02,149
Sure, no problem.
I'll sign
A consent form.
468
00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:04,117
This is my new way
Of signing my name!
469
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:05,652
Ma!
No! You're only 16!
470
00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:07,487
You were pregnant
When you were 16!
471
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:10,657
Yeah! But I wasn't
Stupid enough
To be married.
472
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,393
Come on, anthony,
473
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,595
Let's just take the bus
To jersey to see your old man.
474
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,297
You only need
One parent's permission.
475
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,332
Oh, forget him.
My father's a bum.
476
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,968
Hey. Don't you talk
About your father
That way.
477
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:24,137
Ok. He's a sleazy bum.
478
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:26,038
That's better.
479
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:27,574
But I'll tell you this, ma.
480
00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:29,976
If I don't get
Your consent, I'll get his.
481
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,778
'cause one way
Or another,
482
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,180
I am marrying annie.
483
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:36,383
And I was hoping
That I could have annie
484
00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:39,152
As my lovely wife
And still keep my mother.
485
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:43,456
Ma, don't make me
Make a choice.
486
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,593
Oh, anthony,
You don't mean that.
487
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:49,329
He's a proud man,
Mrs. Tortelli.
488
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:51,331
I guess that's why
I love him
489
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:54,167
More than any man
I've ever known.
490
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,169
Isn't she great, ma?
491
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,170
Yeah.
492
00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:59,339
I'm not losing a son.
493
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:01,140
I'm gaining your face.
494
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,141
Hey!
495
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,443
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
496
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:04,744
You're not making
Any points here, ma.
497
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,379
Well, what am I
Supposed to do,
Sam, huh?
498
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,348
I gotta stop this.
499
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,016
I can't believe
They're serious.
500
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:12,519
I can't believe
That any son
Of nick tortelli
501
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,354
Would even think
About getting married
502
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:16,623
Without a bun
In some oven.
503
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:20,727
[gasps] sam, sammy,
That is the answer!
504
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,362
Listen, listen.
505
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,631
Anthony is
A tortelli man, right?
506
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:26,833
Now, all tortelli men
Are scum.
507
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,201
Ergo,
508
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,670
Given time,
His eye will wander,
509
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,640
And the rest
Of his slimy body
Will follow.
510
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,543
Come on, mrs. Tortelli,
We haven't got all day.
511
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:39,546
I have to clean my room
Before dinner.
512
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,950
I just don't see
What your hurry is.
513
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:47,587
I mean, why don't
You two have a little
Engagement period, huh?
514
00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:49,556
I'll tell you what.
I'll make a deal with you.
515
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,858
Give me, uh...
2 weeks.
516
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,660
What do you mean?
517
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,328
You two stay
Totally apart.
518
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:56,663
Don't see
Each other.
519
00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:57,797
Don't talk
To each other.
520
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,832
Don't send messages
For 2 weeks.
521
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,268
Then, at that time,
522
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:02,702
If you still want
To get married,
523
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,437
I'll give you
My blessing.
524
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:05,938
That's all
We have to do?
525
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,874
That's all?!
526
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,342
I'll die.
527
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:12,512
Our burning love
Will keep you alive,
Anthony.
528
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:14,681
Uh...I don't know.
529
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:16,683
What's the matter,
Anthony, you afraid?
530
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:18,851
Listen, if you
Don't think your love
Is strong enough to--
531
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:20,953
No, no, no, no!
We ain't afraid
Of nothin'.
532
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,121
Ok. You got it.
533
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:23,856
But we come back here
534
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:24,924
In 2 weeks,
535
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:26,593
And we're even more sure.
536
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:29,562
And after that,
Well be together
Forever and ever.
537
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:32,098
You mean, like,
Through eternity.
538
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:33,733
No, like through
The weekend.
539
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:34,934
[laughing]
540
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:38,505
Anthony: I'm gonna be
Heartsick missing you.
541
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,379
Yuck.
542
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:48,448
That is the most
Childish,
Unsanitary thing
543
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:49,949
I've ever seen
In my life.
544
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:51,117
Boy, I'll say.
545
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:52,452
Don't they realize
546
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:55,288
That gum is a breeding ground
For cooties?
547
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:07,567
Anthony, would you
Get away from the window?
548
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:09,235
You're fogging up
The glass
549
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:11,237
With your
Lovesick breath.
550
00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:13,039
Don't be such a grump, ma.
551
00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:15,642
I warned you
My feelings wouldn't change.
552
00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:18,277
Not in 2 weeks,
Not in 2 years.
553
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,712
You blew it.
554
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,482
I'm dead meat, sam.
555
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:25,084
I thought you had this
Figured out logically.
556
00:21:25,084 --> 00:21:27,119
Yeah, well, he never
Went out of the damn house.
557
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,822
How is supposed to
Have his head turned
By another woman
558
00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:30,757
If he never saw one?
559
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:32,892
He just locked himself
In the room,
560
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:34,361
And he never came out
561
00:21:34,361 --> 00:21:37,296
Except for hot meals
And cold showers.
562
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,832
So are you gonna
Sign the consent?
563
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,668
What else can I do?
564
00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:44,170
They kept their end
Of the bargain.
565
00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:45,672
Anthony.
566
00:21:45,672 --> 00:21:48,975
Annie!
567
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,343
Ahh...
568
00:21:50,343 --> 00:21:51,344
Choo!
569
00:21:51,344 --> 00:21:52,879
[clears throat,
Sniffles]
570
00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:53,980
Uh, sinuses, carla.
571
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:56,349
Well, mrs. Tortelli?
572
00:21:56,349 --> 00:21:58,485
It's been 2 weeks.
573
00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:00,252
I think it's still clear
That anthony and I
574
00:22:00,252 --> 00:22:03,189
Are very much in love
And want to get married.
Right, anthony?
575
00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:04,391
That's right.
576
00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:06,225
Here's the form, ma.
577
00:22:06,225 --> 00:22:08,628
You said
You would sign it.
578
00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:15,702
You're too damn young,
Anthony.
579
00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:19,406
Please, this is
The worst mistake
Anybody could make.
580
00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:21,340
Believe me.
I made it.
581
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:23,142
You gave your word.
582
00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:26,513
Yeah, I did, didn't I?
583
00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:28,415
Hey, hurry it up, annie.
584
00:22:28,415 --> 00:22:30,316
I'm double-parked.
585
00:22:30,316 --> 00:22:31,518
We'll be right there.
586
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:32,752
Won't this be great,
Anthony?
587
00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:35,522
You and me together
For all time.
588
00:22:35,522 --> 00:22:36,523
Yeah, that's great.
589
00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:37,657
Who is that?
590
00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:40,359
Oh, that's my cousin
Gabrielle.
591
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:41,861
Gabrielle, my fiance.
592
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:43,696
Will you hurry it up
And sign?
593
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:45,097
We haven't got all day.
594
00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:47,600
Hey, gabrielle.
It's nice to meet you.
595
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,268
Nice to meet you.
596
00:22:49,268 --> 00:22:50,737
You're even cuter
Than annie said.
597
00:22:53,906 --> 00:22:55,542
How come I haven't
Met you before?
598
00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:57,810
I've been at
Cheerleading school.
599
00:22:57,810 --> 00:23:01,581
Hey, when are we
Having your cousin
Over for dinner?
600
00:23:01,581 --> 00:23:03,450
Let's say
We get married first.
601
00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:05,452
Then we'll discuss
The dinner guests.
602
00:23:05,452 --> 00:23:06,919
Yeah, well,
My word is my word.
603
00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:08,888
I guess I better be
Signing this document
604
00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:11,090
So you two could be
Alone together forever.
605
00:23:11,090 --> 00:23:12,559
What's your hurry, ma?
606
00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:14,260
Why don't you both
Have a root beer?
607
00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:17,096
I'm gonna help gabrielle
Find a parking space.
608
00:23:17,096 --> 00:23:18,297
I'm worried about her.
609
00:23:18,297 --> 00:23:19,298
Anthony!
610
00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:20,467
Hey, just get off
My back.
611
00:23:20,467 --> 00:23:21,568
This'll take 2 minutes.
612
00:23:21,568 --> 00:23:23,503
Nag, nag, nag.
613
00:23:25,004 --> 00:23:28,174
Gabrielle, did you ever
Have a hot fudge sundae
For breakfast?
614
00:23:33,780 --> 00:23:36,115
They're not coming back,
Are they?
615
00:23:36,115 --> 00:23:37,717
Nope.
616
00:23:37,717 --> 00:23:42,522
Jeez, I got 50 boy cousins
Who can drive.
617
00:23:44,491 --> 00:23:46,493
It was bound to happen.
618
00:23:46,493 --> 00:23:48,695
You're pretty smart,
Mrs. Tortelli.
619
00:23:48,695 --> 00:23:51,731
Let me fill you in
On something, annie.
620
00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:54,634
There are 3 things
621
00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:57,604
That you can say
About tortelli men.
622
00:23:57,604 --> 00:24:01,440
One--they draw
Women like flies.
623
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,811
2--they treat women
Like flies.
624
00:24:04,811 --> 00:24:06,378
3...
625
00:24:06,378 --> 00:24:08,781
Their brains
Are in their flies.
626
00:24:12,519 --> 00:24:14,654
Yeah, and one more thing.
627
00:24:14,654 --> 00:24:17,156
They throw away
The best women.
628
00:24:17,156 --> 00:24:20,660
You know, for a loser,
You're not bad.
629
00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:22,962
Ditto, mrs. T.
42856
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