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1
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:10,978
Great game.
2
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,347
Yeah. Hey look, they're
Showing chicks in the stands...
3
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:14,715
Oh, look at that one!
4
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:17,051
Come to papa!
5
00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:18,652
Yeah. Yeah, cliffie. They didn't
Build that stadium
6
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:21,255
In foxboro
For nothing, pal.
7
00:00:21,289 --> 00:00:23,191
They sure didn't. I'll bet
It costs millions.
8
00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:26,560
I suppose
You're wondering
9
00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:28,196
Why a person
Of my breeding
10
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:29,363
Would be working
11
00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:33,234
Among the lumpen
Proletariat.
12
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,602
Do you mind?
13
00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:36,804
I'm researching
A novel,
14
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:39,740
And working here
Gives me insight
15
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:42,510
Into their simple
Pleasures.
16
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:43,444
Yow!
17
00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:48,716
Whao! Wait, wait. They're
Zooming in on a cheerleader.
18
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:52,320
I think I've zoomed in
On that one myself.
19
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:55,123
This language supplies
The rich texture
20
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:57,325
That distinguished
Fitzgerald's work.
21
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:59,093
Ok. Here comes
The wave.
22
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,770
We have to go along with them or
They get testy.
23
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,643
That was good.
24
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,817
* makin' your way
In the world today *
25
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:27,155
* takes everything
You've got *
26
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:29,523
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
27
00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:31,792
* sure would
Help a lot *
28
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:36,564
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
29
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,801
* sometimes
You wanna go *
30
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:44,272
* where everybody
Knows your name *
31
00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:49,543
* and they're always
Glad you came *
32
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,547
* you want to be
Where you can see *
33
00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:56,250
* our troubles
Are all the same *
34
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,117
* you wanna be
35
00:01:57,151 --> 00:02:01,522
* where everybody
Knows your name *
36
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,924
* you wanna go
Where people know *
37
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,560
* people are all the same
38
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:07,761
* you wanna go
39
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:11,232
* where everybody
Knows your name *
40
00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:34,688
Seeing baryshnikov
Dance giselle
41
00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:37,358
Was the experience
Of a lifetime.
42
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:40,228
When he took the stage
In his cabriole,
43
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,730
It was breathtaking.
44
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,299
I'd never seen
His albrecht before.
45
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:46,834
You mean
He split his tights?
46
00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:52,673
I wish.
47
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:59,213
Hey...Diane,
You got a minute?
48
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,984
Listen...
49
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:07,721
I want you to know that you are
The last person on earth that I
Would ask for help,
50
00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:09,923
But I figure you been in college
For a zillion years so
51
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:12,560
You must've
Picked up something.
52
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,228
Now that you've
Buttered me up...
53
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,729
Well, my kid gino
54
00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:18,499
He made this generator
For a school science fair,
55
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,301
And he can't get to work.
56
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:21,635
What's the problem?
57
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:24,538
He's not very smart.
58
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:25,639
Here. Take a look at this thing.
59
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:28,709
If you're asking me
To do gino's homework for him,
60
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,611
I won't.
It's unethical.
61
00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:34,582
Hey, mrs. T?
62
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,350
What?
63
00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:40,354
You know, you ought to ask
Mr. Clavin. He's very sharp.
64
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:42,790
He's got
More information
In his whole head
65
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,758
Than I've got
In my little finger.
66
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,694
All right. You got that
Backwards.
67
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,695
See?
68
00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:53,334
Oh, yeah, carla. It is common
Knowledge
69
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,336
That I'm
Scientifically handy.
70
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:57,004
As a matter of fact, I spent
A good part of my youth
71
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,739
In a laboratory.
72
00:03:58,772 --> 00:03:59,940
And you'd still be there today
73
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,443
If a chimpanzee hadn't taught
You how to open your cage.
74
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:07,281
Will you look
At that?
75
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:09,683
One of those new marital aids,
Huh?
76
00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:16,056
Ok. Claven, the science fair is
In one week.
77
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,991
This is your chance to either
Gain my respect
78
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:20,060
Or lose
Your tonsils.
79
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,296
Thanks
For the opportunity, carla.
80
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:23,397
So, norm,
81
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:26,066
What do you say? You want to
Give me a hand, here?
82
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,736
I think I'll, uh, I'll pass,
Dr. Frankenstein.
83
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,706
Cliff, have one
On the house, here, for your
Good deed.
84
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:33,941
Oh, thank you, sammy.
85
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,945
What about one
For igor?
86
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,920
Sam, who's sitting here?
87
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:49,523
I don't know, but his coat's
Been taking up our space all
Night.
88
00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:51,825
Oh, so I've noticed.
89
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:52,626
Cashmere.
90
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,328
Very nice.
91
00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:55,996
Hand stitching.
92
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,965
Tortoise shell
Buttons.
93
00:04:57,998 --> 00:05:00,701
This is a very
Expensive garment.
94
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:03,704
Doesn't look that
Expensive to me.
95
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,673
It has
A bemberg lining.
96
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:09,810
Oh, well. No fair, now. You
Didn't mention that.
97
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:10,778
I'm going
To hang it up.
98
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:14,448
Ooh...Pipe smoker.
99
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:15,849
I don't believe it's a domestic
Blend.
100
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,084
Sam, what do you think?
101
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,455
I don't smell
Anything.
102
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,391
Of course not.
103
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:25,726
Your olfactory senses
Have been destroyed
104
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,795
By that cologne
You marinade in.
105
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,132
Oh, I should've known.
106
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,902
Of course, it's a perique blend.
107
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:37,638
Jack meekin, my father's partner
Used to smoke it.
108
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:42,410
Oh, I remember it
So clearly etched in my mind.
109
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,912
He'd sit in his office, smoking
His pipe.
110
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,313
I'd beg to sit
In his lap.
111
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,850
And he'd say, "Ok little miss,
But you have to pay the toll
First."
112
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:51,051
So I'd give him a big hug.
113
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:53,787
And then he'd ask, "How about
A tip for the gatekeeper?"
114
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:55,723
So I'd give him a quick peck on
The cheek and,
115
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,559
He'd toss me in the ear yelling,
"Who's your favorite uncle?"
116
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:03,431
And I'd squeal,
"Uncle jack! Uncle jack!"
117
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,933
Was this before
Or after you met me?
118
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:12,873
This...This is weird. What are
You making a big deal about the
Coat for?
119
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:15,876
I was merely trying to conjure
Up an image of the owner.
120
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,078
There's nothing wrong
With that.
121
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:20,948
Fantasy's healthy.
Everybody does it.
122
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,816
Didn't you ever fantasize
About me?
123
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:27,455
Yeah, I guess I did.
124
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:28,889
And I, you.
125
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,190
What did you
Fantasize about?
126
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,025
Mostly, you'd stop
Using phrases like
127
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:32,926
"And I, you."
128
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,766
Ok, watson,
Fire it up.
129
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,775
Cliffie, are you all right?
130
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:48,676
It went right from my neck
131
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,478
To my lower regions, norm.
132
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,483
Anything we can do?
133
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:56,584
Yeah.
134
00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,552
Crank it up again.
135
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:06,226
Woody, would you
Add up these receipts for me,
Please?
136
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,094
Sure.
137
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,866
There's eight
Of them.
138
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,837
Thank you, woody.
139
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:20,107
That's what I got,
Too.
140
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,710
Hey, sam. This guy never came
Back for his coat.
141
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:24,612
Probably saw diane
Sniffing it.
142
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:27,515
Night, all.
143
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,550
Night, wood.
144
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,118
Ok, sam. Lost and found.
145
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:32,886
Give me that.
146
00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:36,757
Maybe there's
Some identification.
147
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:39,760
No wallet.
148
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,862
Well, there must be some clue in
Here.
149
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,731
You see?
150
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:47,200
Two tickets
To the grand kabuki.
151
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:52,806
So he likes to watch two
Fat guys with diapers butt
Heads.
152
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:53,941
What's that
Tell you?
153
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,676
That you're
An idiot.
154
00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:59,146
You're confusing
Sumo wrestling
155
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,081
With classic
Japanese theater.
156
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:03,984
Gee, please don't
Tell the guys.
157
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:08,656
A dried rose.
158
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,024
What a romantic.
159
00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:12,192
Could this be
A memento
160
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,027
From a golden
Midi d'amour
161
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:17,631
In some
Sylvan setting?
162
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:18,431
What's that,
163
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:20,100
A classy way
Of saying a nooner?
164
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,038
Boy, your really losing it here.
165
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:27,040
You know, you can't tell
What a guy's like
166
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:29,577
By what he's
Got in his pocket.
167
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,211
I certainly can.
168
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:34,014
What do you have
In your pockets?
169
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:38,151
Why don't you check it out
Yourself, and you tell me.
170
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,120
I think
My point is made.
171
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:49,563
Has it ever occured to you that
This guy might look like
172
00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:51,965
Jo-jo,
The dog-faced boy.
173
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:57,571
I can tell you right now
That the owner of this coat
174
00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:59,339
Could well be the most
Attractive man
175
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,307
I've ever
Encountered,
176
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,175
Whatever
He looks like.
177
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:05,078
Down, girl, down.
178
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:09,082
What a person looks like has
Nothing to do with who that
Person is.
179
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,118
If my face were transposed in
Another in another soul,
180
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,586
Would it matter?
181
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:15,789
To the poor sap
Who got it, it would.
182
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:16,924
[telephone rings]
183
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,094
Cheers.
184
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:23,296
Oh, well. Hold on a sec.
I'll check.
185
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:26,099
Have we seen a
Cashmere coat with bembgerg
Lining around here?
186
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:27,100
Sam!
187
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:31,238
Why dont you talk to our, uh,
Coat check girl.
188
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:32,973
Dream man
For miss chambers.
189
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,977
Hello.
190
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,646
My name is
Diane chambers,
191
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,848
And I want you to rest assure,
192
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:44,017
That your lovely coat is safe
In my charge.
193
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:48,622
I think we have
A bad connection.
194
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:50,724
Your car phone?
195
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:53,894
You know, I imagined
You had a car phone.
196
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:57,030
Well, what I meant was, we were
Playing this game,
197
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:58,699
Wondering what
You'd be like
198
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,768
Based on your coat.
199
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,002
Me? Well,
200
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,837
Close your eyes
And imagine.
201
00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:06,006
No don't. We don't want you
Rear-ending a bus!
202
00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:13,046
Forgive my merry
Sense of humor.
203
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,414
I get it from
My mother's side.
204
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,750
Oh my god.
205
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,285
He sounds wonderful.
206
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,954
Really...Why don't you
Ask him out then?
207
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:23,323
Yes.
208
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,591
Um...
209
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,294
Listen, you sound like a
Charming man. If it's not to
Forward
210
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,662
Perhaps
We could go out
211
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:31,231
For an espresso
Sometime?
212
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,066
Sometime. Hey now there's a
Commitment for you.
213
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,236
On second thought, um,
214
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,105
I'm getting
Off work now.
215
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,973
If your not busy, we could do it
Tonight.
216
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,980
We're both such
Spontaneous madcaps,
217
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,015
Aren't we?
218
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,885
You're right
Down the block?
219
00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:53,353
Momentarily, then.
220
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,188
Whoa!
Uh-oh!
221
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,962
Making a date
With a stranger
Over the telephone
222
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,764
Is a big mistake, diane.
223
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:06,466
I tried it. It was nothing but
Trouble.
224
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:10,003
Of course, mine was
An obscene phone call.
225
00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:11,438
I hope
This works out.
226
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,907
Busted expectations
Are a real bummer.
227
00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:15,776
I won't be
Disappointed.
228
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,144
No, no. I was talking about him.
229
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,214
Hey, hey, hey.
230
00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:23,751
Here comes mister right
Down the steps as we speak.
231
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:25,185
Whoa! Socks!
232
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,988
He's already
Got my guy beat.
233
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,823
Are you nervous there?
234
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:31,058
Not at all.
235
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,378
Hi.
236
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:54,281
Hi. I bet you're the guy
Without the coat?
237
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,049
Yes, I am.
238
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,150
Diane?
239
00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,418
You should be
So lucky.
240
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,157
Diane...
241
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,360
Aren't you going
To introduce
Yourself
242
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:11,331
To this lovely
Gentleman?
243
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,900
Of course, I am.
244
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:16,036
I was just waiting for
The proper moment.
245
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,370
I'm diane chambers. How do you
Do?
246
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:18,872
Welcome to cheers.
247
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:21,374
I'm stuart sorenson.
248
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,342
Well.
249
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,945
Yes.
250
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,046
Oh, good,
You have my coat.
251
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,514
Ah, yes.
252
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:30,317
I can't tell you
How grateful I am, for you
Taking such good care of it.
253
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:33,386
Oh, it was my pleasure. It's a
Lovely garment.
254
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,421
Did you get it
On the continent?
255
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:35,088
France.
256
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:36,189
The continent.
257
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:39,426
Nice try, diane.
258
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:40,928
Hi, stewart. I'm sam malone.
259
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:42,495
I haven't seen you
In before, have I?
260
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:44,331
Well, I'm new to the boston
Area.
261
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:46,566
I'm in the midst of restoring
A carriage house
262
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:50,003
On beacon hill,
And I needed a break so I just
Wandered in here.
263
00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:51,038
This is a nice little pub you
Have.
264
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,205
Well, thank you.
265
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,341
That makes you
A carpenter, huh?
266
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:56,877
Sam, I think he's probably
An architect.
267
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,311
Why, yes. I am an architect.
268
00:12:58,345 --> 00:12:59,913
An architect you say?
269
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,048
Did you hear that, sam?
270
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:02,049
Three times.
271
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:07,020
Uh...Listen, diane, about that
Date...
272
00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:10,390
I realize we made it
Over the phone and
273
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:13,160
Well, here's your chance
To back out.
274
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,929
This lady's not
Going to let you off that
Easily.
275
00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:20,834
But it was
A nice try, there,
Stuart.
276
00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:23,136
Uh, do you know a place still
Open for espresso?
277
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:26,273
As a matter of fact, I know a
Wonderful little boite,
278
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:29,076
Everytime I go there, I'm
Reminded of the cafe lumiere
279
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,511
Opposite the
Bord de bologna.
280
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:35,215
I know exactly the one your
Talking about. It's in the lobby
Of the hotel saint cecile.
281
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:36,616
Yes!
282
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:39,987
Well. That's the only place I
Stay when I'm in paris.
283
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,422
Oh, I'm sorry, that sounded
So pretentious.
284
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:43,190
Oh--
285
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:43,924
[beep beep]
286
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:47,160
Woops! There's my
Car phone.
287
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,596
Ooh, that sounded
Pretentious, too.
288
00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:53,200
Oh, hell,
So I'm pretentious.
289
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,267
Do you mind
If I go get that?
290
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:55,635
Not at all.
291
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:59,139
I'll meet you
At your car.
292
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,908
Ha ha ha.
293
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:04,411
Back way out of here,
294
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:05,946
You got to shinny up
A drain pipe,
295
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:07,247
Crawl over
Some broken glass.
296
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:11,018
But I think it'd be worth it.
297
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:14,454
What are you talking about? I
Feel totally vindicated.
298
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:16,423
He's everything
I thought he would be.
299
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,358
He's charming,
Intelligent...
300
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:19,659
Self-deprecating.
301
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,062
I didn't hear
Attractive in there.
302
00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:25,565
I find him
Attractive.
303
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:28,601
Oh, come on, diane. On a scale
Of 1 to 10,
304
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:32,339
Me being a 12, of course...
305
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,908
Where are you going
To rate stuart?
306
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:40,213
Let's change that
To iq.
307
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:42,983
While your score
Would remain 12...
308
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:47,654
His would skyrocket.
309
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:51,925
It's too bad you're not going to
Be gazing across the table
At his iq.
310
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:54,227
Why don't you just admit
You're jealous?
311
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:55,662
All right, I am.
312
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:59,933
You're right, but can you blame
Me?
313
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:02,569
Sam, are you saying
What I think you're saying?
314
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:03,570
You bet I am.
315
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:05,438
I'd kill
For a car phone.
316
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,720
Two vodka tonics.
317
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,222
So where's the stick?
318
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:25,092
She and stuart are out on
Another date.
319
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:28,295
They went to see a play, I think
It's, uh, who dunnit?
320
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,297
With him in the audience,
It's a "What is it?"
321
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:34,567
Hey. Come on. Lighten up on him,
Will you? Turned out to be kinda
Nice fella.
322
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:38,505
Going to have to give diane
Credit. Her intuition
Proved to be right.
323
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:41,308
I'm a great believer
In intuition.
324
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,643
It's like when I first saw you,
Sam.
325
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:47,280
Something told me you were super
Smooth with the ladies.
326
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:51,251
Maybe it was that time you
Walked out of here with four of
Them. One on each arm.
327
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,620
You always...
328
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,323
You always
Just seem to know
The right moves.
329
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:59,592
Sometimes I like to just stand
Around and watch you operate.
330
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,528
It's like going
To school.
331
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:04,264
Gee, I never really
Thought of it like that.
332
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,598
Well, yes I have.
333
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:13,006
Well. So, there we were,
334
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:16,276
Me and 25 soaking wet
Japanese architects
335
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,577
In my apartment,
336
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,079
And I'm out of brie.
337
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:19,879
Ha ha ha!
338
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:26,653
Oh stuart what a life
You've led.
339
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,021
Make yourself
Comfortable.
340
00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:29,222
I'll get our drinks.
341
00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:31,424
Hey, stuart. How was the
Theater?
342
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:32,359
Great fun, sam.
343
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,394
Good. Good.
344
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,196
Hey, um, miss chambers?
345
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:37,464
Uh-huh?
346
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,100
I've been meaning to tell you. I
Really like your friend stuart.
347
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:42,569
Ah, thank you, woody.
348
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:47,107
Hey you think you can get him to
Do that great trick for me?
349
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:48,675
What trick?
350
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:51,178
The one sam says he does, when
He makes the clock stop
351
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:52,145
By just
Looking at it.
352
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:58,518
Wasn't that just suppose to be
Between you, me, and the
Lamppost?
353
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,453
Well, look at her.
It's an easy mistake.
354
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,059
Um...
355
00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:09,129
Excuse me. I have to speak with
Sam.
356
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:12,499
I'll be back
Before the bouquet
Leaves the glasses.
357
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:16,169
Might I speak
With you briefly?
358
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:18,571
You might, but I
Don't think you will.
359
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,443
I'm sorry about that clock
Comment.
360
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:26,179
I made it before I realized what
A nice guy he is.
361
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:31,684
I'm such a pooh.
362
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:35,488
Beg your pardon?
363
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,824
You heard me, a pooh.
364
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:42,662
After all
These years
365
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:46,833
I have to admit it,
I'm all talk.
366
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,668
Aw, well, of course you are,
Honey.
367
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,437
But we've all
Gotten used to that.
368
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:58,511
Sam, I have spent the week
With a person...
369
00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:01,414
Who can converse
On a multitude of subjects.
370
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:05,552
Who listens
When I talk.
371
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,455
Who treats me
With respect.
372
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,823
And a person with whom
I can think of nothing but,
373
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:14,794
"Why aren't you
Great-looking?"
374
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,329
Or, "Why can't I
Stop wishing
375
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:18,731
You were
Great-looking?"
376
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,301
This is probably not the right
Time to say "I told you so,"
377
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:25,905
So if you could just remind me
To get to it later.
378
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,540
Oh, sam.
379
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:32,512
I'm small and vain
And petty.
380
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,581
Hey, will you stop being so hard
On yourself.
381
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,384
I mean, that's my job here. Come
On.
382
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:40,287
You had a few casual dates with
Him. What's the big deal?
383
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,223
Yes, but, as often happens in my
Life,
384
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:44,524
This gentleman
Is becoming
385
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:47,727
Much too serious,
Much too fast.
386
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:52,632
He's wearing
That smitten look
I know so well.
387
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,834
I've got to do
Something before it
Goes any further.
388
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,869
Uh-huh. I see.
389
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,471
For the first time in my life,
390
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:02,675
I can't bring myself to tell the
Truth to a man, so...
391
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:05,545
I need a lie.
392
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:08,181
God forgive me,
I'm coming to you
For help.
393
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:11,951
Well, I'm flattered.
394
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,354
All right, let me...
395
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:16,923
Let me give this
A little thought here.
396
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:19,859
All right. All right. I've never
Passed this one on before,
397
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:22,695
But I think it's...I think it's
The ticket here.
398
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,964
It's neat. It's fast, clean, and
Best of all,
399
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,899
It makes them
Want to get away
From you.
400
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,801
Now here's what you do.
401
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,370
You tell him...
402
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:37,410
That you have a contagious skin
Condition and that insanity runs
In your family.
403
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:39,946
Very sensitive.
404
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,181
Well, thank you. It's a...
It's a gift.
405
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:47,920
Sam, I have never been more
Grateful to you than I am now.
406
00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:49,389
I just looked
Into the face
407
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,324
Of insensitivity
And dishonesty.
408
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:52,792
And it made me blanch.
409
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:55,228
I am going out there...
410
00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:57,930
And I'm going to break up
With stuart.
411
00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:01,234
But I'm going
To do it honestly,
Straightforwardly.
412
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:03,803
And yet, caringly.
413
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:05,472
I'll tell him the truth of my
Feelings,
414
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:08,007
That I'm not attracted
To him romantically,
415
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,710
Although I am very attracted
To him as a friend.
416
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:16,283
And I'll say it in a way
That he will accept and
Understand.
417
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,618
And be greatful for.
418
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:22,322
Do you even begin to understand
What I'm trying to say?
419
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:25,325
Everything except the part
Where you changed your name to
Blanch.
420
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:33,232
Good-bye, sam.
421
00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:35,535
Good-bye, blanch.
422
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:44,611
Thank you.
423
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,413
Uh, listen, stuart--
424
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:49,582
Diane, I'm sorry. I can't put
This off any longer. There's
Something I have to tell you.
425
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:55,722
Diane, for the first time in my
Life, I'm thinking of making
426
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:58,825
A permanent commitment
With a woman.
427
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:00,727
Stuart, I have a contagious
Skin disease,
428
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,395
And insanity runs
In my family.
429
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:09,669
Oh my god, diane.
I'm terribly sorry
To hear that.
430
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:13,840
Thank you, I thought
You should know.
431
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,942
Well, that makes me
Feel a little selfish
432
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:19,312
Talking about my good news
After hearing that.
433
00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:21,781
Your good news?
434
00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:25,318
Diane,
What I'm trying
To say is...
435
00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:27,019
There's someone else.
436
00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:29,789
She's someone I knew
Before I met you.
437
00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:33,326
I honestly thought
It was over between us, but...
438
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,861
Well, we spoke earlier today
439
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:37,597
And we've decided
To work things through.
440
00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:43,436
You're telling
The truth,
441
00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:44,604
Aren't you, stuart?
442
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:50,610
Well, that's the most
Wonderful thing I ever heard.
443
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:54,414
It's tearing
Me apart inside.
444
00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:56,983
I'm a total wreck
In here.
445
00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:58,418
Don't give up hope, diane.
446
00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:00,019
No relationship is
Guaranteed.
447
00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:02,755
Except yours.
Don't you doubt
For a moment.
448
00:22:02,789 --> 00:22:05,057
We're talking
Ironclad here.
449
00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:07,694
Well, thank you.
450
00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:10,530
By the way, have you seen
A doctor about that
Condition of yours?
451
00:22:10,563 --> 00:22:13,566
What con--
Oh, yes. Yes.
452
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,101
I'm seeing
A wonderful man.
453
00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:17,470
He's almost
Cleared it up completely.
454
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:20,373
He's about got
That insanity thing
Licked, too.
455
00:22:22,942 --> 00:22:26,513
He's a skin
And brain man.
456
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:28,515
It's a new
Specialty.
457
00:22:28,548 --> 00:22:29,849
Hmm, sounds
Fascinating.
458
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:34,487
Well, diane, I'm...
459
00:22:34,521 --> 00:22:37,089
I'm really glad we've had
This chance to...To know each
Other.
460
00:22:37,123 --> 00:22:39,058
Me, too.
461
00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:39,926
Good-bye, diane.
462
00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:40,993
Good-bye, stuart.
463
00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:51,103
Hey, congratulations.
You're free and clear.
464
00:22:51,137 --> 00:22:52,605
Don't congratulate me.
465
00:22:52,639 --> 00:22:55,575
He's a terrific guy.
466
00:22:55,608 --> 00:22:59,446
And I cast him aside
Because of his appearance.
467
00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:01,180
I'm...Greatly ashamed.
468
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,716
Well, you know, from where I
Sitting it sounded more like he
Was--
469
00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:08,488
All right, sam.
Let's not split hairs.
470
00:23:08,521 --> 00:23:09,856
Point is, he's gone.
471
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:12,925
For the first time,
I let appearance
472
00:23:12,959 --> 00:23:15,828
Taint my feelings
Toward a man.
473
00:23:15,862 --> 00:23:18,898
Boy, you know what's wrong with
You? You just can't be honest
With yourself.
474
00:23:18,931 --> 00:23:21,568
Looks are all
That ever mattered to you.
475
00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:25,838
What are you
Talking about?
476
00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:28,675
That is utterly...
Inaccurate!
477
00:23:28,708 --> 00:23:30,610
Oh, yeah? Want me to prove it to
You?
478
00:23:30,643 --> 00:23:33,079
Yes.
479
00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:35,181
Who were you more
Crazy about
480
00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:37,517
Than anyone else
In your entire life?
481
00:23:37,550 --> 00:23:39,886
Not including
Yourself there.
482
00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:41,988
Don't answer.
It was me.
483
00:23:42,021 --> 00:23:44,457
And there was only one reason
Why you ever went out with me
484
00:23:44,491 --> 00:23:48,495
And that was because of my
Looks.
485
00:23:48,528 --> 00:23:49,596
Not entirely.
486
00:23:49,629 --> 00:23:51,498
Yes, entirely.
487
00:23:51,531 --> 00:23:56,469
Name one other
Reason why anyone
Would go out with me.
488
00:23:56,503 --> 00:23:57,870
Go on, name one.
489
00:23:57,904 --> 00:24:00,673
You can't, can you?
490
00:24:00,707 --> 00:24:01,841
No, sam, I can't.
491
00:24:01,874 --> 00:24:03,843
Ha ha ha!
35395
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