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1
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:06,174
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:11,345
It's been a pleasure
Serving you.
3
00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,646
Thanks.
4
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:14,148
Wait a minute.
5
00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:15,649
Is this for me?
6
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:16,650
Yes.
7
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:17,718
Whoa-ho! A quarter!
8
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,787
He left me
A whole quarter.
9
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,156
Considering
All that great service
I gave him,
10
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:24,158
I was expecting
A big tip,
11
00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:26,360
But nothing
Of this magnitude.
12
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:29,230
That does it.
Thanks to him,
I'm on easy street.
13
00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:30,731
Now I'm gonna retire.
14
00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:33,101
Hey, look, all right,
I'll give you some more, ok?
15
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,236
Here. You have change
Of a 10?
16
00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:38,306
Yeah. Now beat it.
17
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:47,115
* making your way
In the world today *
18
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:50,084
* takes everything
You've got *
19
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:52,920
* taking a break
From all your worries *
20
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:56,224
* sure would help a lot *
21
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:59,460
* wouldn't you
Like to get away? *
22
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,232
* sometimes
You wanna go *
23
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:07,668
* where everybody
Knows your name *
24
00:01:09,437 --> 00:01:12,773
* and they're always
Glad you came *
25
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:16,477
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
26
00:01:16,544 --> 00:01:19,213
* our troubles
Are all the same *
27
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:24,418
* you wanna be where
Everybody knows your name *
28
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:29,490
* you wanna go where people know
People are all the same *
29
00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:34,328
* you wanna go where everybody
Knows your name *
30
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,249
All right, everybody,
I'm warning you,
31
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:57,251
Better stay
On my good side today.
32
00:01:57,318 --> 00:02:00,188
Cliff,
I've looked at you
From every angle.
33
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,423
There is no good side.
34
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,425
What's the problem
There, cliffy?
35
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:08,429
Ah, new couple moved in
Next door to me and ma.
36
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,431
Just not our kind
Of people.
37
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:12,166
They're loud,
They're noisy.
38
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:15,068
They're up till all hours
Playing their bebop music.
39
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,638
Automobile parts
Strewn all over the yard--
40
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,440
Nothing I can use.
41
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,108
Why don't you just have
A word with these
People, cliffy.
42
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,377
No. They're
Not the type of people
You just have a word with.
43
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:24,945
You know what I mean?
44
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:27,448
If I talk to them,
It's only gonna lead to a fight.
45
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:30,150
You know
What I'm liable to do.
46
00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:31,719
Yeah, wet yourself.
47
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,025
Oh, my god.
That's my boss.
48
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:41,195
He saw me slip out
Early. He's come here
To fire me.
49
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:43,597
You got here
The same time you always do.
50
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:47,568
I know.
I always leave early.
51
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:50,471
I refuse to be one of
Those little cowardly
Clock-watchers.
52
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:53,006
As soon as my supervisor
Turns his head,
53
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:57,010
I always slip out
The heating duct.
54
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,480
How would he know
You're here?
55
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:00,681
Company's
Full of spies.
56
00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:02,250
Really?
57
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:03,784
Yeah.
They know everything
About you.
58
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:06,420
They even keep track
Of your sex habits.
59
00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:09,323
Thank god
I don't have any.
60
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:13,927
He's coming this way.
Cliffy, cover for me.
Yeah, roger.
61
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,497
Wait a minute.
Ah, ah--
62
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:19,099
Excuse me. Wasn't that
Norm peterson?
63
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,901
Nope, there's no
Norm peterson here.
64
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,103
As a matter of fact,
I don't even know
A norm peterson.
65
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:25,506
Are you sure?
The man that just ran
Into the men's room
66
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:27,508
With his jacket
Pulled over his head?
67
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,510
Absolutely not.
Probably just somebody
68
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,445
That looked like
Norm peterson.
69
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,647
Who I don't know.
70
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,383
I see. Uh-huh.
71
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:39,720
And, uh, what's
This on the floor?
72
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:44,725
Foam insulation
From our heating duct.
73
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,728
My information
Is correct.
74
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,570
Peterson,
You in here?
75
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:06,079
Were you
Talking to me?
76
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,548
What are you doing
In there?
77
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,317
Sir, this is awfully close
78
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:11,118
To being invasion
Of privacy, darn it.
79
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,786
I want
To talk to you.
80
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,855
I'll wait outside.
81
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,657
No, no, no.
No, sir,
82
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:20,361
I know what
You're probably
Going to do to me,
83
00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:21,662
And this does seem
84
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:24,332
Like the appropriate
Place for it.
85
00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:25,666
All right. Peterson...
86
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,701
We've made some
Organizational changes
87
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:28,869
In the company.
88
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,203
Starting tomorrow,
89
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,641
We want you to be
Our corporate killer.
90
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,444
Guy who fires people?
91
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:37,445
That's right.
92
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,046
You see, we decided
93
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,448
That terminating
Employees
94
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:43,584
Puts too much stress
On our executives.
95
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,786
We think
You'll be perfect.
96
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,020
Why me?
97
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:48,456
Because studies
Have shown that
98
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,757
It's particularly
Humiliating
99
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,759
When you're
Fired by somebody
100
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:54,762
Who's clearly and markedly
Superior to yourself.
101
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:58,499
That just wouldn't be
The case with you, norman.
102
00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:03,236
See, you're just
An ordinary joe.
103
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,339
As a matter of fact,
104
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,342
We, uh...
We checked out
Your home life.
105
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:09,643
You have
Absolutely nothing
106
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,480
Anyone could possibly
Envy or resent.
107
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:13,981
I'm honored, sir.
108
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:17,918
But it just sounds
Like a horrible job,
Frankly.
109
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,420
It's a 300% raise,
110
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,589
And if you don't take it,
You're fired.
111
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,324
Sir, I will
Have you know
112
00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:26,326
That I cannot
Be bought,
113
00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:28,328
And I cannot
Be threatened.
114
00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,831
But you put
The two together,
115
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,700
And I'm your man.
116
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,238
Carla, have you
Given any thought
117
00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:40,140
To using some form
118
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:42,309
Of natural childbirth
This time?
119
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,812
I always use
The le mans method.
120
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,847
No, you mean lamaze.
121
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,015
No, le mans.
122
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,384
I scream
Like a ferrari.
123
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,255
Evening, everybody.
124
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,525
Hi-yo!
Ho!
Ho!
125
00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:59,059
What will you
Have, norm?
126
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,528
I'm in a gambling mood, sammy.
I'll take a glass
127
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:03,363
Of whatever comes out
Of that tap.
128
00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:04,698
Oh, looks like beer, norm.
129
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,700
Call me
Mr. Lucky, eh?
130
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,368
I'll take
Another one
131
00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:10,170
For my young
Friend there.
132
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,806
So, mr. Lucky,
Who is your young
Friend over there?
133
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,008
Well, it's my first
Assignment, cliffy.
134
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,911
I was supposed to fire
That guy first thing in
The morning.
135
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,813
I haven't been able
To do it yet.
136
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,650
You mean you've been
With the guy all day,
137
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,518
And you haven't
Canned him?
138
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:25,986
Such a sweet
Young kid.
139
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:29,156
I just can't
Tear his heart out.
140
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,725
Oh, can I do it,
Please?
141
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,260
Do you mind?
142
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,529
I know what
You're talking about.
143
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,998
It's always hard
To fire people.
144
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,533
Of course, I always
Give my waitresses
145
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,402
The benefit
Of a severance boink.
146
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,874
That, or the money
Equivalent--
147
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,542
$1.14.
148
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:52,880
As I recall, you were
Always after an advance.
149
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:57,751
Oh, sam, you're always
Bringing that up,
150
00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:01,354
Trying to relive those
Few precious weeks
151
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:05,125
With the only woman
You ever dated who knew how
To spell your name.
152
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,763
As I recall,
You used to spell it
153
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,765
E-x-t-a-s-y.
154
00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:17,638
You got the "X" right.
155
00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:19,607
And it's going
To stay that way.
156
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:22,576
Would you two mind if
We moved on to something
A little more interesting
157
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:25,579
Than your star-crossed
Romance, please?
Sorry.
158
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,114
Come on,
Norm, what could be
More interesting
159
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,049
Than another
Gripping episode
160
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:32,686
Of young and
The chestless?
161
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,092
I'm sorry. Where--
Oh, yeah.
162
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,128
So, when are you
Going to talk to the guy?
163
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,531
I don't know. I've
Been struggling
With it all day.
164
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,666
I was gonna tell him
At lunch, you know,
165
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,434
But we were enjoying
Ourselves so much,
166
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:48,769
It just seemed
Gauche.
167
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:51,104
So I thought I'd
Take him to a movie,
168
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,140
You know, and try to
Get him relaxed a bit.
169
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,208
And you couldn't
Tell him there either?
170
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:59,680
No, but I came
Awfully close
At the ball game.
171
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,716
Norman, as you know,
172
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:05,719
No one is more
Sensitive than I.
173
00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:07,721
And I say
Putting it off
174
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:11,458
Is of no value
To you or the boy.
175
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:14,227
I guess
You're right.
176
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:20,768
Thanks for the beer,
Mr. Peterson.
Sure.
177
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,603
I sure have had
A good time today.
178
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,705
You sure we won't get
Into any trouble?
179
00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:27,808
No. Besides, it's great
To get away from that
Old sweatshop anyway, isn't it?
180
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,543
Are you kidding?
I love my job.
181
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,680
My five months I've
Had it have been
The best of my life.
182
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,317
Isn't that exaggerating
Just a little bit, billy?
183
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:40,387
No. Mr. Peterson,
Ever since
I could remember,
184
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:42,623
I dreamed of being
An accountant.
185
00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:46,727
From the age of 6, I did
Odd jobs so I could put
Myself through college.
186
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,729
Now that I have it,
187
00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:51,632
I feel like I've got
The world at my feet.
188
00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:54,301
I just put a down
Payment on a house.
189
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,504
Maybe it was a little
More than we wanted
To spend,
190
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:58,839
But escrow
Closed today.
191
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,841
So there's
No turning back now.
192
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:03,343
Besides, with
My wife pregnant,
193
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,045
We're going
To need the room.
194
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:07,214
Your--your...
195
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,515
You know,
My wife and I
196
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:11,652
Are trying to have
A baby, actually.
197
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,253
Hey, that's great.
198
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,356
Our kids are gonna
Play together at
The company picnic.
199
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:19,993
I don't think so, billy.
200
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,528
Why not?
201
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,697
'cause you're fired.
202
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,299
I'm fired?
203
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,801
Yes.
204
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,536
It's not your fault
You're history, billy.
205
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,939
It's the damn company.
206
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:34,908
They're cutting back
All over the place.
207
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:39,713
You're a good accountant.
I'm so sorry.
208
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,214
I can't believe it.
209
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:45,585
It's not fair.
You're so damn young.
210
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:47,955
That's right.
I am young.
211
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,556
I've got that
Going for me.
212
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:50,958
I'll start over.
213
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,292
I'll find
Something else.
214
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:55,595
In this job market?
Good luck.
215
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,565
Shh, there, there,
Mr. Peterson.
216
00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:00,567
Don't you
Worry about me.
217
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,002
I'll be just fine.
218
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:05,072
I'm going to make you
Happy and proud again.
219
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,776
Are you going
To be ok?
220
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:13,046
Come on, show me
A big smile.
221
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,215
Come on. Come on.
222
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,252
Attaboy.
223
00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,425
Stand up. Come on.
224
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,928
Get him a beer
There, diane.
225
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,096
Come on.
226
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,934
So how did it go,
Norm?
227
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,268
Carla.
228
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:36,603
That damn company.
229
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,038
What do they know
230
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:42,442
About the pride
In a young wife's eye,
231
00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,611
An unborn child,
232
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:47,614
Or a boy's love
Of a calculator?
233
00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,783
Norman, stop.
234
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,618
You're torturing
Yourself.
235
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,153
And us.
236
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,659
I guess billy richter's
237
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:02,730
Not going to be
The only one without a job.
238
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:05,032
I'm not cut out to be
A corporate killer.
239
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,067
Well,
Thank goodness
For that.
240
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:08,201
Excuse me.
241
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,503
I watched you with
That young man over there.
242
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:13,440
And I want to tell you
That I've never seen
Anything like that.
243
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,875
Hey, pal, look,
This is the 1980s.
244
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:17,677
It's ok
For a man to cry.
245
00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,012
Thanks, buddy.
246
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:22,315
Of course, you'd never
Catch me doing it.
247
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,651
Maybe a manly
Tear or two,
248
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:26,854
But never blubbering.
249
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:31,792
I'm phil wagner.
250
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,794
It's a policy
At talbot international
251
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,796
To send
A representative to check
252
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:38,631
On how their employees
Handle new assignments.
253
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,401
I been following you
Around all day.
254
00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:42,569
All day?
255
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:44,371
That's right.
Oh, by the way,
256
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,807
How'd you like rice's catch
In the third inning?
257
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:49,442
It was a great catch.
258
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:52,545
Look, sir,
I guess you're
Going to tell them
259
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,881
To find
Another killer.
260
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,816
I have to say,
I'm relieved, actually.
261
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:59,452
Peterson, you made
That man feel
262
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:00,754
That he was fired
263
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,756
From a sensitive,
Caring company.
264
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,257
It was brilliant.
265
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,959
I'm gonna recommend
That they give you
266
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:07,460
That corner office
On the third floor
267
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:08,829
Overlooking
The parking lot.
268
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:11,164
Isn't that
Mr. Peabody's office?
269
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,466
Not after you
Talk with him tomorrow.
270
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:29,983
That's it!
I've had it. I've had it.
271
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:32,585
Those neighbors have
Pushed me too far this time.
272
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,321
What happened now,
Clifford?
273
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,790
Last night, they decided
To have a party--
274
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,291
Cars parked all over
The block,
275
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,727
Loud music, carousing,
And who all knows what else
276
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:43,196
All this
On a school night.
277
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,697
You know, I think
It's high time they learned
278
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,500
What you get
When you cross a clavin.
279
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:51,538
Someone crossed one with
A chicken and got you.
280
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,673
I beg your pardon.
281
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,175
You come in here
Shooting your mouth off
282
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:56,676
About this guy
Every night,
283
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,578
But you don't
Do anything.
284
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:01,548
I think
You're afraid
To stand up to him.
285
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:02,850
I'm not afraid of anything.
286
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,651
One of these days,
I'm gonna tell that jerk
287
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,353
Exactly what I think
Of him.
288
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:07,554
Oh, yeah?
289
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,089
All right.
290
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,558
Here you go.
291
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,127
Write him a letter.
292
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,696
Oh, yeah. You don't
Think I will, huh?
293
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:18,331
All right...
294
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:21,234
"Howdy, neighbor. Please don't
Take this the wrong way--"
295
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,569
Give me that!
296
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,604
"Howdy, neighbor."
297
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,406
Let me do this.
298
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:33,380
"Dear vile
Scurvy rat...
299
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:37,384
Whose existence
Stinks up the planet..."
300
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:40,320
Yeah, I guess that
Is a bit stronger.
301
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,789
Where's, uh...
Where's norm?
302
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:44,724
He's in the back room
303
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:48,361
Dropping the ax
On his latest victim.
304
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,136
It'll be all right.
305
00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,605
I'll find another job...
306
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,507
Someday.
307
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,509
You promise?
308
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,311
Huh? Huh?
309
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:05,678
I promise.
310
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,881
Now buck up.
311
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:17,024
That man is a prince.
312
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,559
Norman...Why do you keep
313
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:21,194
Putting yourself
Through this?
314
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,130
You must be
Emotionally drained
315
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,632
At the end of the day.
316
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,034
Yeah. Yeah, I am,
317
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:30,037
But, uh...Hey,
I'm good at it, huh?
318
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:33,106
Finally found something
In life I'm good at--
319
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,574
Pity.
320
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:40,547
Now we just got
To finish it off
With a real doozy.
321
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,650
Does he have
Any disabilities
You can make fun of?
322
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,118
No.
323
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:47,654
Well, his wife's not
A particularly handsome woman.
324
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,856
Oh, good. Good.
325
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:53,326
"Bark hello to
Your wife for me."
326
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:58,265
"Yours in disgust..."
327
00:14:58,331 --> 00:14:59,199
Sign that.
328
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:02,135
Ok, I'll sign it
With pleasure.
329
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,904
I'll mail this at
My earliest convenience.
330
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:06,139
Fork it over.
331
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,675
It's going out
In today's mail.
332
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,978
Good. Good.
Glad to hear it.
333
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,413
Look, clavin--
Just think of this
334
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,649
As your ticket
Out of weenie town.
335
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:20,487
Carla, I made
That trip long ago.
336
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:23,656
Yeah, but they threw you
Out at dinkville.
337
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,659
Uh...I'm sor--norm.
338
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:27,995
Your office called.
339
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:30,197
They're sending over
A john parker.
340
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,698
Another one.
Yeah.
341
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:32,699
Jeez!
342
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,601
Last one today, I guess.
343
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,803
Let's see what we got here.
344
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,705
John parker.
345
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:43,876
Hmm...35 years
At the company, sam.
346
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,212
He's a widower.
347
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,714
He supports sickly parents.
348
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:51,384
Oh, no.
Three foster children.
349
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,487
So sad, sam. So...
350
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:55,722
Afternoon, sam.
351
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,025
And how are we today?
352
00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,293
We're fine, walt.
How are you doing?
353
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,462
Well, it hasn't been
An easy day,
354
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:05,332
But any day
I carry the u.S. Mail,
355
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:09,269
I count myself a lucky
And useful human being.
356
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:13,040
Are all you guys
Like this?
357
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,774
Like what?
358
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,309
Never mind.
359
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,546
Hold on
A second, walt.
360
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:21,814
I've got some
Outgoing mail here.
Sure thing.
361
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:23,750
How do you like that?
362
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,385
Just talked to mom.
363
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,587
Our neighbor's cleaning
Up his yard right
As we speak.
364
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,323
He said
He would have gotten
To it sooner,
365
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:31,858
But he's been
In training
366
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,526
For the world
Light-heavyweight
Kickboxing championship.
367
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,895
Yeah, he would have made
A worthy adversary
For me,
368
00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:38,065
But it's good
I found out
369
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:39,699
Before that letter
Was mailed.
370
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:42,869
That's excellent use of
The nine-digit zip code, sam.
371
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:46,773
Consider these letters
In the hands of the addressees.
372
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,575
Hey, uh...
Ho-ho-ho!
373
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,611
Hold on there, uh...
Twitchell, isn't it?
374
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,779
That's right.
375
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,615
Clavin, south central
Branch, scb.
376
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,085
Oh...Right.
377
00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,786
Uh...Listen, twitch.
378
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,521
You got a letter
In that bag
379
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,523
That I don't need
To have mailed,
380
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:05,625
So I'd appreciated it if
I could have it back.
381
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:06,793
Sorry.
382
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,630
What do you mean,
"Sorry"?
383
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,365
I can't give it back.
384
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:15,402
"Any letter on my person
For the express purpose
Of delivery
385
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:17,104
"Receives the same sanctity
386
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,172
It would be afforded
In any u.S. Mail receptacle."
387
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:20,573
Yeah, yeah,
But look, this is
388
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,575
A very personal,
Important matter to me.
389
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:23,910
You know the rules.
390
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,545
Hey! That's my bag!
391
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:26,779
Get your hands off!
392
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,248
That's a federal offense!
393
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,750
You're a federal
Offense, you meathead!
394
00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:33,586
Hey!
395
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:34,621
Hey!
396
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,723
Get out of here!
397
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:39,926
That's clavin.
Clavin, with a "C," right?
398
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,394
That's right.
399
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,763
Yeah, well,
Let me tell you,
You're in trouble.
400
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,132
You're in trouble!
401
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,134
They're going to have
Your bags.
402
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,169
Your mother's a bag.
403
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:52,305
Isn't that something?
404
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,541
Put a uniform
On some guys,
405
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,609
It turns them
Right into a fascist.
406
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:58,278
I wouldn't be
A bit surprised
407
00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:01,614
If that guy had
Deep sexual p-problems.
408
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:05,752
[snoring]
409
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:09,956
Huh.
410
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:12,425
Norm is sleeping
Like a baby.
411
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:15,695
Yeah. A baby with
A license to kill.
412
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,432
I guess this job is
Taking its toll.
413
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,169
I wonder what
He's dreaming about?
414
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,436
Oh, he's probably
Dreaming about
415
00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:25,438
What every man
Dreams about.
416
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,775
In your case,
That would be me.
417
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:32,645
I hardly think that norm's
Dreaming about you.
418
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:35,315
Aah!
419
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,218
I stand corrected.
420
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:43,022
Hey! Are you ok?
Wake up.
421
00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:45,658
N-n-no, I'm, uh...
I'm fine.
422
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:46,526
Whew!
423
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:48,361
Strangest dream.
What was that?
424
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,163
It was so weird, sam.
425
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:53,466
It's really dark,
You know, and cold,
426
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:57,470
And eerie, and it's out
In the middle of nowhere,
You know?
427
00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:00,573
I mean, it was nowhere, but
It was definitely somewhere.
428
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,110
There was this endless line
Of accountants there, right?
429
00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:07,447
It was my job
To make them go through
430
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,549
A pair of elevator doors.
431
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:10,683
Aah!
432
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,319
Going down?
433
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,689
Aah!
434
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,794
Aah!
435
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,534
Aah!
436
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:30,770
One by one
They went, sammy,
437
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:34,374
Falling, screaming
Into a bottomless pit.
438
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,009
Aah!
439
00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:39,346
Ha ha ha!
440
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:44,016
I turned around, and
There was this accountant
441
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:45,352
Just wearing a blindfold,
Right?
442
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:47,820
I went up to him.
443
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,729
Aah!
444
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,665
Aah!
445
00:19:58,731 --> 00:19:59,766
Aah!
446
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:00,933
Aah!
447
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,101
Norm!
448
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,270
Just demonstrating.
449
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:04,737
I was fine.
450
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:09,041
Norman...Don't you see
What this dream means?
451
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:11,478
A very precious
Part of you
452
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,914
Feels as if it's being
Destroyed by this job.
453
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,849
The burden of your guilt
454
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:18,818
Is...Insupportable.
455
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,921
I never said I was in love
With this job, ok?
456
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:24,757
As a matter of fact,
I think it stinks,
All right?
457
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:26,559
But it is important.
458
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,461
These guys'd
All be fired, anyway.
459
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:31,364
And I'm just providing
A service, ok?
460
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,699
I'm helping them through
461
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,501
One of life's most
Painful experiences.
462
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:38,571
Norman, these executives
Are having you do their
Dirty work.
463
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:40,840
You are their judas goat.
464
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:43,109
Oh, come on,
Just lighten up,
Will you, diane?
465
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,511
Well, I mean it!
466
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,413
You should have more pride
467
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:49,015
Than to do repugnant
Tasks for people
468
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,317
At their bidding.
469
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:53,019
You want to wipe up
That bar sweat?
470
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,387
Right away.
471
00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:08,535
Can I get you something?
472
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:09,836
No.
473
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:13,806
You ok?
474
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,409
No--
475
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:19,912
Norm peterson invited me
For a beer at cheers.
476
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:21,314
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
477
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:25,184
Well, he's sitting down
Right over there.
478
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:27,019
So that's him.
479
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:33,626
* da dun-duh-dah *
480
00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:35,495
* dun duh-dun-- **
481
00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:39,298
Hi. You must be
John parker.
482
00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:41,534
Hi. Norm peterson here.
483
00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:43,336
I know. Yeah, I know.
484
00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:46,539
It's really terrible what you
Have to do to me, isn't it?
485
00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:49,442
You mean, you know
Why you're here?
486
00:21:49,509 --> 00:21:51,210
Everybody down at
The company knows about you.
487
00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:52,712
Well, then,
John, I guess
488
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:54,747
There's really
Nothing left to say,
Is there?
489
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:56,616
What do you mean?
490
00:21:56,683 --> 00:21:58,050
Where's my sympathy?
491
00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:01,554
Where's the caring?
Where's the tears?
492
00:22:01,621 --> 00:22:05,257
Well, uh...I do feel
Bad for you, john.
493
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:06,826
Doesn't look like it.
494
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:12,799
Well, honestly, john,
I feel just awful, um...
495
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:23,342
You have
Foster children,
I believe, right?
496
00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:25,778
Yes. One of them
Needs braces.
497
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:26,979
Oh, braces.
498
00:22:32,652 --> 00:22:35,555
You know, peterson,
I would rather have somebody
499
00:22:35,622 --> 00:22:38,224
Come right out
And fire me honestly
500
00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:39,592
Than fake sentiment.
501
00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,561
You hide
Your true feelings
502
00:22:41,628 --> 00:22:43,730
Behind a shower
Of crocodile tears.
503
00:22:43,796 --> 00:22:45,031
J-john, listen.
John, wait a second.
504
00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:47,467
Let me try again, john.
505
00:22:48,935 --> 00:22:53,272
Boo-hoo! Sickly
Parents. Boo-hoo!
506
00:22:53,339 --> 00:22:54,941
Boo-hoo!
507
00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:59,812
Forgive me.
I'm dry as a bone.
508
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:02,615
Do you know what's
Happening to you, norman?
509
00:23:02,682 --> 00:23:06,085
You're becoming
Callous and hard.
510
00:23:06,152 --> 00:23:08,555
Yeah, I know.
511
00:23:08,621 --> 00:23:10,389
Give me the phone...
512
00:23:10,457 --> 00:23:12,425
And a beer.
513
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,828
What are you doing?
514
00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:17,029
Quitting.
515
00:23:17,096 --> 00:23:18,297
Ohh!
516
00:23:18,364 --> 00:23:20,467
I'm calling
Mr. Simpson in personnel
517
00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:22,101
And telling him
I'm resigning.
518
00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:25,004
The bosses can do
Their own dirty work
For a change.
519
00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:26,473
Good man.
520
00:23:26,539 --> 00:23:29,408
Mr. Simpson? Yes,
This is norm peterson, sir.
521
00:23:29,476 --> 00:23:32,679
We really have to have
A lit--hello?
522
00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:36,148
He screamed and hung up.
523
00:23:37,550 --> 00:23:39,686
I'll try him again.
524
00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:44,491
Yes, is this
Mr. Simpson's secretary?
525
00:23:44,557 --> 00:23:45,858
Hi. This is norm peterson.
526
00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:50,196
We seem to have been--
Hello? Hello?
527
00:23:52,532 --> 00:23:55,067
You see what's happening,
Here, don't you?
528
00:23:55,134 --> 00:23:57,136
Yeah. This is amazing.
529
00:23:57,203 --> 00:24:00,773
Why don't I just give
Mr. Hecht a little call?
530
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,842
You know,
It was his scheme
To begin with.
531
00:24:02,909 --> 00:24:06,913
Why don't I just tell him
How good the little
Plan's going?
532
00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:12,351
Mr. Hecht?
This is norm peterson.
533
00:24:12,418 --> 00:24:17,056
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
37285
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