Original subtitles

You call these plain clothes?

ON RADIO: Got male white and female black...

Open up.

Okay, you know the routine.

Let's go.

Why don't you take a seat?

So, what time was it when it happened?

How many times I gotta tell you? You got the wrong guy.

We don't have all the kinks out of the system yet.

Look, I gotta go to the john. Or is that a federal offense?

On your feet.

Okay move and I'll blow your head off! Everybody freeze! Now!

I said freeze! Get those hands up!

I want an unmarked car, gas and money, now!

Okay. Take it easy.

SAMUELS: We'll take care of you.

Hold it!

ISBECKI: Let's go.

Come on, hey! You're twisting my arm! I'm gonna get you guys for this!

What happened?

He wanted a car and a tank full of gas.

Unleaded?

You two got an assignment. You're in charge of security for Helen Granger.

She arrives tomorrow.

The Helen Granger who's been bum-rapping the Equal Rights Amendment?

Yeah, that's the one.

HOST: Well, how do you feel about the enemies you've made

because of your conservative stand on these issues?

GRANGER: Well, I suppose it can't be helped.

Besides, it's not as if I'm running for political office.

HOST: Nothing you do would surprise me.

GRANGER: I'm going to take that as a compliment.

HOST: Mrs. Granger, as a leading figure in the anti-feminist movement,

haven't you acquired a great deal of power for someone who

would like us to figure her as just another wife and mother?

I don't think of it as power. I think of it as support for my beliefs.

Oh, and what exactly are those beliefs?

That every American woman has the right to be a full-time

wife and mother without being forced to work outside the home.

-Well, that sounds nice but... -I can't believe I'm doing this.

I could be out finding Harvey an anniversary present.

Helen would love that.

And an awful lot of women insist upon going out to work and competing with men.

I can't imagine why any woman would want to give up her freedom,

and become imprisoned like men.

That's right boys. You don't know it, but you're in much worse shape than we are.

CAGNEY: I think my lunch is coming up.

HOST: I think we're talking economics here.

GRANGER: I'm talking about freedom.

HOST: Economic freedom.

What about the economic freedom of men whose jobs have been taken over by women?

Wait 'til she gets a load of us.

HOST: Well, just to be fair, I think this would be a very good time

to read the Equal Rights Amendment. What do you think?

Fairness is what I'm all for.

HOST: Thank you very much, Mrs. Helen Granger for being here today.

GRANGER: I loved every minute of it. Thank you so much now.

After we meet her, I'm not gonna say anything.

I'm afraid what will come out of my mouth.

Well, that certainly went by very quickly.

-You were wonderful. -Thanks again.

-Watch your step. -Oh yes. Yes. Thank you.

-Yes.

I'm Detective Lacey, N.Y.P.D. This is Detective Cagney.

How do you do?

What can I do for you?

We've been assigned to protect you.

But I requested police protection because a man...

We know, ma'am. We're it. The limousine's waiting outside.

Something tells me you're uncomfortable, Mrs. Granger.

Uncomfortable?

With us being your security.

It's my guess you'd feel safer with a couple of guys.

Rather than policepersons? I won't deny it.

You mind if I smoke? If I don't have one little puff I'm gonna die.

Oh, go ahead. Although, it's the other way around, isn't it?

Well, since you seem to be it for the moment,

I guess I'd better fill you in on what's been happening to me.

You left on a lecture tour three weeks ago yesterday. Approximately two days after

you left, you began receiving telephone calls of an obscene nature.

The first call came after your initial appearance at Cornell.

The second one in Uttica, the third, Syracuse.

You then became concerned and, uh,

contacted the police departments in each and every

city that you were speaking in. Albany, Rochester.

They attempted to trace the calls, but were unsuccessful in doing so.

And last night was the final engagement of your tour at Princeton.

And this morning you boarded a helicopter for New York, Mrs. Granger.

Did you enjoy the ride in this limo from the airport to the TV studio?

CAGNEY: This is some place.

It's good for meetings, and we do most of our entertaining here,

but our real home is in Connecticut.

Hello?

Hello, Helen.

What present? What are you talking about?

That was him again.

Take it easy. You said something about a present?

I don't know what he's talking about.

He was here. In my apartment.

He left that.

CAGNEY: Don't touch anything.

I'm gonna check the rest of the place.

We'll get a forensic team up here, find out how he got in.

CAGNEY: Until now it's just been phone calls, is that right, Mrs. Granger?

What does he want?

I don't know what he wants.

LACEY: Mrs. Granger.

Could you step in here please?

PRISONER: I have never been so humiliated in my whole life! Never!

Hey! Excuse me!

Where is Dankar?

Hey, settle down, settle down.

But I tell you, I was minding my own business. It was...

3-0-4, public nuisance.

My dear fellow, this is a free country!

You do remember Abraham Lincoln, don't you?

-That the tall fellow with the beard? -Yes.

Yeah, I used to go out with his sister.

But I bring him here legally. I told the policeman. I have the papers.

I don't care if you got his grandfather's birth certificate.

It is against the law to take a python or other poisonous reptile on the subway.

Ah! Dankar is not poisonous!

Isn't about time for the girls to check in?

Yeah, why?

I got something that's not only gonna make the hair on

the hair on their two little heads stand up.

It's gonna turn white.

Yeah

Take a look.

Yeah. It's a great gag.

Hey, it's genius. Even if I say so myself.

Yeah.

Great gag.

What should I get Harve for our anniversary?

What anniversary is it?

Our twelfth.

A see-through black negligee.

Christine! I was thinking about getting him a meerschaum.

Oh, Mary Beth, you can't fit a dog that size into your tiny apartment.

A meerschaum is a pipe, not a dog.

-Hi, ya men. -Hey.

Geez, it's like a graveyard around here.

Hey, you girls want to see something really cute?

We just found this sweet little bugger in the subway.

Oooh. Hello, sweet-skin.

Look at you. Aren't you pretty.

You're just curled up there for a nice nap, aren't you?

Hmm. He's a real live one. Fat and sassy.

Okay, so what's happening with your big, obscene phone call caper?

Hey, hold your horses, cowboy.

If it was a man that was receiving those threats,

he'd be an endangered species, right?

But since it's a woman, she's a neurotic ready for the loony bin!

Hey, relax, relax! Who said anything about being neurotic?

Yeah, I saw the Granger lady on the Carson Show. She's an okay broad.

LACEY: Why?

Because she thinks if a woman isn't in the sack, she should be making a pot roast?

What's wrong with that?

Nothing.

Not if your life's goal is to become a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.

Will you two get off each others' case?

Lacey, come on. You got a report for me or what?

Uh, yeah. The guy's a real psycho.

He gets off on tearing up Granger's underwear, you know?

Forensics found nothing.

Well, let's send a telephone trace team down there.

We already arranged for that.

Good. Who's covering?

Davidson and Velasquez are on it.

She's scheduled to speak tomorrow at the Village Auditorium,

and she has been advised that it would be wise to have protection.

We're gonna miss the fight.

ANNOUNCER: Well, fans, here we are at the beginning of round number two,

and this match with Dominic Circio really needs a lot to foul.

ISBECKI: Come on, get in there. SAMUELS: Yeah, yeah.

SAMUELS: Oh, what a shot!

Come on, come on.

It'll never go the distance.

Five'll get you ten, there's no knockout.

-All right, you're on. -All right.

-The second.

Your boy's holding his own.

Hey, Isbecki.

You know Luke the Nuke was their first collar?

Cagney and Lacey.

That was up at the twenty

Yeah.

Luke Powell, you're kidding? You must be putting me on.

No, that's right. They started his career.

If they hadn't have busted him, he never would have made it to national TV now.

Hey, sweetness. I got a newfound respect.

Detective La Guardia, 14th Precinct.

All right. Just a moment.

-Lieutenant. -Yeah.

Lieutenant, Helen Granger.

She wants to talk to the man in charge.

Yeah, well give it to Cagney and Lacey, will you? It's their case.

Lieutenant, she wants to talk to the man in charge.

Cagney, will you take the call?

Tell that woman she's got the best in the department on the case.

She'll leave me alone.

Watch his right, Luke! Watch his right!

Cagney, will you take the call!

Cagney, I can't see through you, come on. Come on!

Yeah! Hit him again, hit him again! Yeah!

ANNOUNCER: Circio moves in for a clinch, he's trying to hang on...

He deserves a point for backing us.

You know why he's backing us. He doesn't want to miss the fight.

I'll take it any way I can get it. Go ahead back to the blood bath. I'll talk to her.

I owe you one.

Detective Lacey.

Yes, ma'am.

I see. When was that?

Well ma'am, I think that my superior would advise that you cancel.

ANNOUNCER: Backing out of the clinch. Circio! Circio in trouble now!

Circio, down! Down he goes.

He's not getting up.

Come on. Up, up, up, up, up.

He's never getting up.

He really rang his bell. What a punch.

Boxing is the only so-called sport where one player tries

to do irreversible harm to another.

What do you know about boxing, La Guardia?

What do you know about boxing, Cagney?

Well, it's an art.

To me, boxing is an art. It's the art of attack and defense

using your fists, but it's practiced as a sport.

It's been around for, uh, almost as long as 5,000 years,

and, uh, I think it began, and originated in Sumeria.

Sumeria?

Sumeria, yeah. Which is now Iraq.

From Iraq, it spread down and went across...

Okay, okay, okay. So you know about boxing.

LACEY: Thank you.

Hey, Lieutenant.

That fan of Helen Granger that's been following her on the lecture circuit.

He called her again. He added a little something.

Like what?

He said he's gonna kill her.

All right. Get her back on the phone and tell her this department advises

against her doing that lecture thing tomorrow.

She has been so advised.

-And she's not about to take the advice, right? -Right.

Okay. When is she due to lecture?

CAGNEY: Uh, tomorrow at four.

La Guardia.

You and Isbecki are going over to Granger's place tomorrow morning,

and stick with her the whole day, all right?

Cagney, you and Lacey go over to that auditorium and take a peek.

Tonight.

I better call Harve.

Hello?

HARVEY: Who is it, Mike?

Hi, Mom.

Here's Dad.

Hi ya, honey. Yeah, they did their homework.

Uh, just a quart of milk and some onions.

Yeah, okay. Me too. I'll wait for you to eat.

-Did you wrap your gift to Mama? -Almost.

Hey, Mike, Mike! What are you doing?

I just want to see what you're giving her.

Aw man, the saleslady, she folded it perfect.

HARVEY JR.: I was just looking.

MIKE: Now we gotta fold it up again, right?

HARVEY JR.: What is it?

P.J.'s. Can't you see?

It's doesn't look like P.J.'s to me.

It's girl's P.J.'s.

Is this all Mom said she wanted for her anniversary?

It's the thought that counts. Isn't that right, Dad?

That's right. And it's a surprise, uh?

So don't say anything, okay?

It's a secret between us guys.

HARVEY: Huh? Okay.

LACEY: And you know how much they want for the pipe and tobacco setup?

You know, the works with the pipe and tobacco, humidor.

269 dollars.

CAGNEY: So what? It's your twelfth anniversary. He's gonna love you for it.

LACEY: He's gonna love me for getting it for him, but kill me for spending the money.

Hey! Whatcha doing?

-There he is!

Go!

Nice fella.

Look, Mrs. Granger, we went to check out the auditorium,

and he was there, but he got away.

We think that you'd be taking a very big risk

going back there tomorrow.

In other words, I'm supposed to give up my work because of your incompetence.

We'll have better luck next time.

How do you like that?

LACEY: Hmm?

She thinks we're in the wrong profession.

Yeah? I think maybe she's in the wrong gender.

PETRIE: You guys sure are touchy about that woman.

How would you feel if you were guarding the head of the Ku Klux Klan?

Might leave my gun at home.

Cagney, Lacey.

You know who that was?

That was Helen Granger.

You know what she wants?

SAMUELS: She wants you two off the case.

Fine. She wants us off? We're off the case.

Hold it a second. Helen Granger does not set the assignments here.

I do.

So are we off this lousy case or not?

I don't get it. What is your beef with her?

CAGNEY: You wouldn't understand.

Again with the "I wouldn't understand." Try me.

-Politics. -It's economics.

SAMUELS: It's that Gloria Steinem feminism stuff, right?

Well come one, come on. Explain it to me. I want to know.

Men will not be truly liberated until women are.

But Helen Granger doesn't want women to be liberated

because she thinks men should take care of women.

I don't get it!

LA GUARDIA: It's simple.

Helen Granger says women are already better than equal under the law.

They don't have to serve in the army.

They don't pay alimony.

It's stuff like that!

How come you know that? You're single.

You never know.

If you ask me, it's all bull.

It's bull, it's bull.

Why do you always come on like that, Isbecki?

It comes naturally.

Petrie, will you help us here?

The Constitution of the United States

said all men are created equal, right?

Hmm. Right. -And they didn't live up to it.

So they put in an amendment about black men.

-Now you're gonna have a kid. -Right.

If it's a girl, don't you want her to be equal under the law?

Of course I do.

All right.

SAMUELS: Come to think of it,

Thelma had a job once.

Oh yeah?

Yeah. We needed a little extra money, you know?

We were young, and just starting out.

Might have been the happiest...

So what happened?

Well, so, when I was finally well-situated,

I made her quit.

Good night.

Lacey.

Cagney, hold it a minute. Hold it a minute, hold it a minute.

I got a message for you from Captain Hightower.

Hightower?

Yeah, you remember him, public relations, N.Y.P.D.

Well he wants you to call Peter Schuyler, sports writer.

Schuyler wants to talk to you two about your favorite fighter.

Luke Powell.

Uh, sir, what we have to say about Luke Powell

Peter Schuyler would not be allowed to print.

Well, maybe not,

but Schuyler's making a lot of noises about parole for Powell and he wants your input, so,

remember the image of the N.Y.P.D. and be like you always are girls.

Nice.

So, Pete Schuyler came to see you, huh?

Uh-huh.

Is he gonna put you in his column?

Oh, I doubt it.

He's pushing to get Luke Powell paroled. We're against it.

Luke Powell's a good fighter.

How long's he been up the river?

Harvey.

Nobody says up the river anymore.

But I'll tell you something, up the river is exactly where Luke Powell belongs.

Mean. That was one hostile guy.

Out of control, you know?

Rage like that, it's like, insane.

He's a killer.

All right, all right. But he's had some time to cool off.

How long's he been up there now

Oh sure, great.

Who's always saying,

longer sentences,

throw the book at 'em.

You're Mr. Law and Order until it comes to some jock. Then all of a sudden,

go easy 'cause the spotlight washes all your sins away.

I'm not only talking about Luke Powell.

Hey, come on. Get off your soapbox, will you?

Maybe the guy's turned around, huh?

Maybe he hasn't, but in case he has,

don't you think he rates a shot?

Everyone's entitled to a shot, Harve.

You bet!

Harvey, you ever get the feeling that sometimes I'm screwing up your act?

What're you talking about?

I'm a cop, and you're chopping onions.

So?

So according to Helen Granger, I should be chopping the onions...

And I should be up on a skyscraper catching rivets, huh?

Yeah, I could live with it.

Didn't work out that way, did it?

So what are we gonna do? Break up a lousy marriage?

Harvey, do you think that I'd be crazy for you if all of a sudden,

you went completely bald?

I don't know.

You know, some day, Helen Granger

is gonna run for President of the United States.

If she does, would you vote for her?

Hey, a screwball who thinks a woman's place is in the home, huh?

Gotta admit, it's a gutsy position.

Hey.

Tomorrow night, in case you forgot, our anniversary.

Tomorrow?

Got reservations at the Shamrock.

I don't know, Harve.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to bust the entire mafia.

Get outta my kitchen.

How long has it been? An hour and a half?

Two hours?

Just about.

Do you think Harve would like a leather-bound edition of Mark Twain?

No.

No. He'd let the kids look at it, they'd just get peanut butter and jelly all over it.

I came up with this stuff in the middle of the night.

Bathrobe is a lousy idea.

Jogging suit?

Jogging suit

Well, I said it was the middle of the night.

Aftershave.

Hello?

Tell me why you call me.

What do you want from me? What do you want to say to me?

Are you lonely?

Come on. Come on.

Where are you?

Where do you live?

Come on.

Tell me something about yourself.

GRANGER: Do you go to school?

14th and Broadway.

Southwest corner.

14th and Broadway, southwest corner phone booth.

About five minutes ago, a call was made from that phone booth.

Did you get a look at the caller?

No, well, I was busy with a customer, you know?

I mean I wouldn't even notice the guy at all except that he, uh,

ran out of the phone booth so fast,

he almost knocked over my stand.

It was a man, huh?

Well, he sure wasn't wearing no high heels.

Did you get a good look at his face?

Well, I'll tell you. It happened so fast that, uh,

I mean, he was gone before I could catch my breath.

Thanks, Mr., uh...

-Aparicio. -Aparicio.

-Yeah, nice meeting you. -Yeah.

Ciao.

Mrs. Loomis, the owner of that store saw the caller,

and she will come to the precinct when she closes.

Any luck?

Uh, a little.

A little.

Lieutenant Samuels, Mrs. Loomis.

Oh, how do you do?

Mrs. Loomis, this is Mr. Uhrig, our sketch artist.

This is Mrs. Loomis. She's the lady who saw the man in the telephone booth.

Sit down.

Just relax. Don't force anything.

Hello.

Don't push it.

Oh.

I remember him quite clearly.

He was about five feet, eleven inches.

He had fuzzy hair.

Eyeglasses.

And a baby face.

Okay, let me start with a round kind of face.

All right.

Congratulations, you made Schuyler's column.

"Two women scorned." Oh, listen to this.

"Whoever invented the phrase, the milk of human kindness,

"never had to break bread with the two female police persons

"I met yesterday."

There's more.

"Completely disregarding Luke Powell's efforts

"at rehabilitation..."

Ah, geeze.

Forgot to mention the crime we committed.

SAMUELS: Lacey,

when Don's through with this sketch, I want it wired to every police station

in every town where Granger every lectured, you hear?

Yes, sir.

UHRIG: How about this?

Oh, it's really beginning to look like him.

I can't believe that you can actually reproduce something like this

with a simple description.

MRS. LOOMIS: Yes, yes, that lower lip.

It seemed to quiver like when he was talking on the telephone.

But the hair could be a little darker.

Some of it kind of thicker on one side than the other.

Jaws I never forget.

It was a strong jaw, definitely.

Let's see what you got now there.

You've done him perfectly.

We're not staying. We just came to show you this.

Anyone you recognize?

Hello.

Oh, oh, Jason.

You bet I'm ready.

I made a commitment to talk.

I didn't cancel my lecture at Village Auditorium

and I'm not about to cancel because some psychotic whom they can't catch

threatened me.

You think her husband is a possibility?

If you were her husband, wouldn't you be tempted?

What?

Huh?

No, I can't guess who's going to introduce me.

Judge Margaret Stockwood?

Jason, you're a genius.

It must have been tough rounding up somebody black,

conservative, and a mother of four who actually likes me.

Thanks.

Got to run. Bye bye.

Well?

Well, you were the ones who saw him. I certainly never did.

Let's get one thing straight, Mrs. Granger.

Even though we're not a couple of linebackers from the Jets,

we've still been assigned to protect you.

In your fashion.

Come on.

Let's get out of here.

I don't want to go to Hawaii. I get burned on the first day, Thelma.

Why should I fly 6,000 miles to stay indoors for nine days?

Huh?

PETRIE: Well? VICTIM: Huh? Oh no, nothing yet.

Listen, we'll talk about it later.

-Maui Mokaio!

Maui, number one. The best. You'll love it.

You check out those mug shots, will you?

I was only trying to be helpful.

Suspect had been arrested for armed robbery,

served, uh...

You want some?

Are you kidding?

Do you know how many fats and chemicals you're eating?

It's just pastrami.

Animal fats.

Parasites, carcinogens,

nitrates, sodium.

Maybe that's why it tastes so good, huh?

Lieutenant? Any response on that wire photo we sent out?

Eh, bupkis, no.

That Loomis broad that we brought up here with the description.

She probably didn't see the guy at all.

What? You think she made all that up?

Well, who knows? Maybe that's the way she makes herself feel important.

Maybe that's her substitute for sex.

When you write your autobiography, Lieutenant,

don't give up the comic book rights.

Hey, Mr. Aparicio.

Hey, how are you?

Fine. You mind if we ask you a few more questions?

-Oh no, go right ahead. Go ahead. -Terrific.

You know the guy that was in the phone booth

that bumped into your, uh, stand here?

I know you said you didn't get a very good look at him,

but does this do anything to your memory?

Hold on, wait a minute.

Like I told you, I never saw his face.

You don't remember anything about him?

No, he had his back to me.

You know, I was getting pretty teed off, you know. I mean the guy...

You know he took my business phone for over ten minutes.

I was running out of hot dog buns and I couldn't make a call.

You said he was in the phone booth for ten minutes?

Yeah, ten minutes.

Thank you, Mr. Aparicio.

-Sure. -Nice to see you again.

-Take it easy. -Ciao.

-Ten minutes.

So the calls to Granger never last more than a minute.

He must have his obscene routine down pat.

Or he must have been talking to somebody else before he placed the call to Granger.

Good one!

Ms. Malone? Detective Cagney at the 14th Precinct.

Yeah. You helped us trace a call from a phone booth in Manhattan

with the number 555-9832.

That's right.

What we need to know is was another call place from that number,

uh, minutes before the call to the Granger apartment.

That's right.

Terrific. Can you get right back to me?

Thanks.

Thelma, I don't need a physical, Thelma.

I'm feeling fine. Yeah. It was just a heart burn. That was all. Yeah.

I don't have to exercise, no.

I get all the exercise I need just walking to the funerals of all my athletic friends.

You don't think that's funny, Thelma?

Detective Cagney, 14th Precinct.

Yeah.

The call was made to Yonkers.

Subscriber's name is Mike Walker.

And the number?

One more thing, Ms. Malone, um, we've got traces on calls, um,

made from Uttica, Syracuse and Rochester?

Yeah. What we want to know is if the calls to Yonkers were also made from pay phones,

just before the obscene calls.

Mrs. Walker.

Yes?

We'd like to talk to you about your son, Mike.

Who are you?

LACEY: We're police officers, New York City.

I'm Detective Lacey. This is Detective Cagney.

Can we come in for a minute?

All right.

Is, uh...

Is he in some kind of trouble?

When was the last time you saw your son?

He's been traveling.

Uttica, Syracuse, Rochester?

Yeah.

Why are you asking all these questions?

LACEY: Have you ever heard of a woman named Helen Granger?

No,

and neither has my son.

How do you know that, Mrs. Walker?

Because,

he tells me about every girl that he meets.

We have a very sincere and open relationship.

Michael tells me everything.

Well, we have reason to believe that

he's been making threatening phone calls to this Helen Granger.

You're wrong!

How could he? He don't even know her.

You have no right to come into my home, and

make such ridiculous accusations.

We didn't mean to upset you, Mrs. Walker. Is this your son?

Yeah, but, uh, he's taken off some weight since that picture.

I made him stop eating sweets.

Oh!

Oh, he got a merit badge in bee keeping! That's just like my son.

Oh, Michael was an Eagle Scout.

Well, Harvey Jr.'s still a tenderfoot.

We're sorry to have bothered you.

If you hear from your son,

then we would like to talk to him.

Okay.

Mrs. Walker.

Does your son own a gun?

He has a license for it.

Does he carry it with him?

Of course not.

He always keeps it here.

It was always there.

The guy's name is Michael Walker, and the picture matches the sketch.

And what's his relation to Granger?

His mother says that he's never met her before in his life.

Some kind of psycho.

Samuels. 14th Precinct.

Yeah, I know she's going on that ERA fundraiser tonight, La Guardia.

So what?

Pal from Yonkers

just called Granger,

and said she's never gonna make it to that fundraiser

unless she sees him first.

He has a gun, Lieutenant.

Why not? Everybody else has.

I'll get an A.P.B. out of this guy, Walker.

You two get over to Granger's house.

Stick on her tail. Don't let her out of your sight.

Just hope she resumes her lecture tour, gets out of town and off our backs.

-Yes, sir. -Amen.

Oh!

What?

Harvey.

Hello.

LACEY: Hi ya.

Hey, what're you doing? I'm waiting.

Harve, you're gonna hate me.

Yeah?

Harve, it's our anniversary.

Yeah, our anniversary. Same day every year

last 12 years.

And you have reservations and everything?

Not everything. So far, just reservations.

I can't make it, baby. I'm on duty.

Okay, so you can't make it. You're on duty.

You're mad.

Mad? I'm not mad.

Harvey, why do you always keep everything in?

When you're mad, say you're mad!

I'm disappointed. What do you expect? It's our anniversary, huh?

I am not mad.

Stay up for me, huh?

Please.

You think I could go to sleep without you?

Be careful, Mary Beth, huh?

Yeah.

All clear on nine twelve. On my way to check nine fourteen.

Out.

We copy.

He loves all that physical stuff.

Can't you just picture him leaping from roof to roof?

CAGNEY: Or tree to tree.

You okay in there, Mrs. Granger?

MRS. GRANGER: I'll be right out. I'm just spraying my hair.

Did you get a load of that dress she's got?

-Nothing.

I wish I could afford it.

All ready.

Wait a minute. I'll check and make sure that everything's clear.

Thanks.

You smell that perfume?

Cagney and Lacey must have been driving this thing around yesterday.

It's kind of heavy, like,

mentholated musk.

It's my new cologne.

Oh, just what I need right now.

Maybe it's not him.

Don't you believe in women's intuition either, Mrs. Lacey?

Hello.

La Guardia.

LACEY: He's on the line.

I really don't have time for this right now.

1,200 people have paid ten dollars a plate to hear me speak

and make no mistake, I am going to be there.

Don't talk to me about 1,200 people.

May I ask you something?

What have I ever done to you?

You don't listen to me.

LACEY: Listen to me, Michael.

I'm a friend of your mother's,

and she is very, very worried about you.

MICHAEL: Who the hell are you?

Doesn't matter.

I saw that picture of you with that boy scout uniform.

Geeze, you got a lot of merit badges, didn't you?

You were in my house?

Anyway, your mother wrote you a letter,

and she had no idea where to send it to, so she gave it to me.

You want to hear what she had to say?

I got it right here in my purse.

Hang on just a second.

Helen, would you hand me my purse, please?

You got that make?

68th and Second. 68th and Second, La Guardia.

68th and Second.

Go.

Right here, Michael. I got it.

Dearest son.

I've been thinking an awful lot about you, Michael.

And I miss you.

And son,

I wish you'd come on home.

Chasing all over the country after that woman, that's foolish.

You bastard.

You told my mother about me and Helen!

Michael, I didn't say anything to her that you would not want her to hear.

And she told me that you are, uh,

a very decent young man.

You wouldn't hurt anybody.

She told me when you were a kid, you wouldn't even step on an ant.

Mary Beth.

Cagney.

We got him.

Granger, we got him.

Chris.

Yeah.

Yeah, could you get over here and take over for me?

I got a chance to salvage a couple minutes of my anniversary.

LACEY: Ready?

Yeah.

That's a nice set of P.J.'s

I love my presents, Harvey.

I hate myself.

Why?

'Cause I haven't found you yours yet.

And I've been wracking my brains for weeks,

and work started to pile up so fast.

Hey.

You want to give me something that'd make me really happy?

-Anything.

You name it.

There you go. Pleasing your man.

Glad to see you learned something from this Helen Granger.

Oh yeah.

She's smart.

And she's gutsy.

And I wish she was on our side.

So what can I give you that would make you really happy?

Give that up.

-Ah, you're kidding.

Read statistics on women smokers lately?

Harvey, that's not a real present.

Five or ten more years with you.

It's one hell of a present.

Happy anniversary.