Original subtitles

'You know, it was nice of Getraer'

'to give us this coast beat.'

'Yeah, I guess there is a heart of silk'

'underneath that layer of granite.'

Just think, fresh air, clear skies, blue water

'and our motors, of course.'

You know, Ponch, the best things in life are free.

Free? It costs 25 cents to cross this bridge.

That's highway robbery.

Right on time, Gary. Right on time.

What are you do.. What are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing, pal?

Let's get out of here.

Somebody help me! They robbed me.

Help me! They robbed me!

Can you call the cops or something?

I can't. There isn't a phone.

What do we got going?

Alright!

I wonder what happened.

I think I'll go check out Andretti.

There were two of them, they over there in the car--

- Here's the keys. - Great.

They just attacked the poor man over there.

They were sitting over there for about 10 minutes.

No, it was more like 15.

- One of them had blond hair. - They both have blond hair.

- They jumped out of nowhere. - The car was green.

And they just grabbed these two cases--

Alright! Enough. Please.

I'll just talk to the victim.

You wanna tell me what happened here, please.

What happened? They robbed me. That's what happened.

Took over $100,000 worth of precious stones.

You mean, the sports car?

Yeah, some guy jumps in the car

pushes me in the face.

Good, then you could probably identify

him if you saw him again.

No.

Ladies...

Ladies, would you mind getting back in the booths

so we can get the traffic flowing, please?

- Oh, I'm sorry. - Yeah, okay.

Thank you.

- Uh...

The Sheriff's Department will probably wanna talk to you.

Uh, they'll be here shortly.

Uh..

Could you move the car over to the side of the road, please?

Thanks a lot.

Thank you, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

Um, that'll be 25 cents, please.

Hey, I tell you that guy must have trained at Daytona.

Looked more like Grand Prix to me.

I ran the plates and they're hot.

- LASOs been advised. - Alright.

Here he comes now.

Thanks, guys.

Uh, we've got a broadcast out.

'And here's the victim's and witness information'

'and where you could reach us.'

Yeah, we got some units looking after the suspects.

Thanks again, guys.

Man, do you believe that?

That dude got hit for $100,000 of precious stones.

Whoo! Hey, uh, we're supposed to be at PM briefing, uh..

You think you got enough tread left to make it?

We better get moving.

Last thing I wanna do is to be late for another briefing.

You don't have to write your report out here.

Oh, uh, oh, yeah, yeah.

It's that time of year, fellas.

Uh, the fire conditions are extremely hazardous.

'Hi, guys.'

Oh, hi, sarge. Uh, sorry we're late.

It was for a good cause, a 211.

'Well, we'll talk about it.'

Now, would you care to have a seat

or are you gonna wait for an usher?

'Now, as I was saying'

'the fire conditions are extremely hazardous.'

'Particularly, on the Golden State near Newhall.'

And that stretch along the San Diego Freeway

north of the Sepulveda Pass.

'So keep an eye out for any smoldering underbrush'

'and don't be afraid to stop anybody'

'who, uh, discards a lit cigarette.'

Now, from the Sheriff's Department, uh

There was a robbery at the St. Vincent Thomas Bridge

tollbooths down in San Vista.

A civilian jewelry dealer was ripped off.

Uh, Baker and Poncherello were 10-97 location

'just after the bandits made off'

'with over $100,000 worth of jewels.'

Uh, there were two men using a fast sports car

identified as a Jaguar.

'Uh, Baker gave pursuit'

'but they managed to slip away down in the Marina Area.'

Uh, turned out the car was stolen.

Baker, you don't have to take this down, you were there.

Baker?

Oh, uh, yeah, I was just, uh..

So I don't forget it, sarge.

'Alright, men, fasten your seat belts'

and, uh, drive safely.

Come on, let's go.

Yeah, just a minute.

Hey, what's with all the writing?

Uh, just catching up on my mail, alright?

What, your usual stack of, uh, Dear John letters, huh?

'Attention, South End Harbor units, you have an 11-82 PCH'

'at Palos Verdes Boulevard involving a produce truck.'

Hey, that's us. Let's hit it. Come on.

Hey, uh, Fritz, tell dispatch we're on our way, alright?

Alright.

'Okay, I'll be with you in just a minute.'

'Just hang on there, I'll be right with you.'

You okay?

I don't know.

'Are you hurt?'

I don't know.

Do you know what happened here?

Well..

I was having a good ride, and-and..

And I guess I had a blowout or somethin'

'cause next thing I know

'I'm wrestling with the steering wheel and..'

'And doing a 180, and..'

I mean, it was a bum trip, I mean, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah, I really feel for you.

Had a few myself.

Uh, you think you can make it out of the cab?

Yeah, I think so.

Alright. I'll help you out.

'That's it. Come on, keep it moving.'

'Keep this lane clear.'

'Come on, this way.'

There's my problem.

Whew, that's a lot of onions.

About 3000 pounds of 'em.

Ah.

Is he okay? Yeah, he's fine.

Hey, don't take it so hard, Jon.

You know there's worse duty than this, you know.

'You could have Getraer for a partner.'

No, no.

Kid couldn't make it without you, Ponch.

Yeah, I know how you feel.

And I want you to know that you're the best partner

a buddy could ask for.

Okay, hold up there.

There we go.

Ah, what's the, uh, story here, guys?

It's a sad one, sarge.

Onions.

Yeah, nice, fresh yellow ones.

Yeah, well, uh, let's make sure it has a happy ending, huh?

Hey, no problem, sarge.

I'll get the truck moving.

You're always thinking, Frank.

Argh.

Boy, did you call Caltrans?

Yeah, Fritz and, uh...

...Baricza, they're on their way.

Hold it there!

Good.

Could I.. Do you have a handkerchief, huh?

Huh? Yeah.

Uh, no, that's alright.

Oh, sorry.

Sir?

We got to get your truck off the road.

I'll stop traffic and tell you what to do, okay?

Okay.

'15-1, Mary 1'

'11-24, number one lane'

'northbound Pasadena Freeway, south of--'

Alright, now. Back it up a little. Come on.

No, hold it, hold it, hold it.

That's not gonna work.

Take it forward now, okay? Slow.

Hey, wait, wait! Wait a minute. Hey, stop!

'Wait a minute! What are you doing?'

Stop! Hey, mister, stop it!

Ponch did say slow.

'H-hey, come on. Stay downwind of me.'

Hey, what happened to all that buddy

Yeah, that was before you got sprayed.

Okay, be that way.

I'll get a job in a French restaurant.

Uh-oh.

Hey, that was Mrs. Downey's car, wasn't it?

Yeah. Every shiny inch.

Come on, I wanna get this stuff off, huh?

I wanna change. Let's go.

Okay.

- Eh.

- Uh, pay attention, please. - Yes, ma'am.

You see, I haven't got all day.

I can't stay here. Yes, ma'am.

Oh!

There you are.

And it's about time you got here.

You bet. How's it doin', Mrs. Downey?

Do you know, I've been waiting for you for over an hour?

- Yes, I want you to fix this. - Oh, well..

Excuse me a minute, Barkley.

Mrs. Downey, if I talk you over here a minute.

- Yes, I want you to fix it.

Yes, just fix it.

You're to pay off some turkey

so it won't show up on my good driving record.

Oh, Mrs. Downey, wait a minute.

I mean, my partner and I-I mean--

It's that terrible Officer Poncha-rib

or something like that.

- Yeah, yeah. He did that. - Listen, look at that.

This is nothing more than a parking ticket.

A $2 parking ticket

and if you just take it down there, they would--

Yeah. The money isn't the point.

I'm a law-abiding citizen.

I didn't mean to insult you about money.

It's just that, see, this is not our department.

This is LAPD. The police department.

We're California Highway Patrol. Remember, the off

You're all friends. You're all in cahoots.

Sure, we are, we're all in cahoots--

'Yes, I-I, I thought so.'

Well, we're not in cahoots.

Oh, if my third husband were alive today,

I wouldn't be here now.

You see, he used to get things fixed lickety-split

'just like that.'

Wait a minute. You know what, you're exactly right.

I'll take care of this for you, Mrs. Downey.

I'll get it taken care of right away.

That's better.

I knew you'd do the right thing.

You see, you're a good flatfoot.

Sure.

Flatfoot?

Now, come with me, come along.

No nonsense. Come along. Hurry up.

We better get busy. Come along now. Come along. Don't argue.

There, that's fine. Alright.

There's the door now. One more step.

One more step. That's about it.

- There we go. - There we are. Okay.

'Now, drive carefully, Mrs. Downey.'

Oh, there's no reason to bother about me.

I've been driving for 70 years without a scratch.

Yeah, I could tell by the, uh..

By the car, it's such a nice car.

Now, scoot on in.

Oh, it's a beauty

- And I drive it so carefully. - Yeah.

Have a cookie. Hot. They're fresh.

Oh, well, thank you.

Hold this for a minute, and I'll get one.

There. Thank you.

Oh, hey. My favorite, chocolate chip.

Oh, really. And you're CHP.

Yeah. Have a chippie, Chippie.

You dig it?

Oh, yeah, I dig it.

There. I'm good as new.

Hey, what's that?

Oh, that's a park for Mrs. Downey.

She asked me if I'd take care of it.

- Sure.

Well, I'm gonna pay for it. I mean, that's better

than trying to explain to her why she should, right?

Besides, uh, she makes good cookies.

Hey, that's good.

Well, we all got our price.

Uh-huh.

Hey, what's with these books?

- No.

Then, what are you doing with them?

Let me see!

Come on, hey, people do read, okay?

Hey, "Blue Knight," "The New Centurions."

The Joseph Wambaugh fan, huh?

That's right, he's a terrific writer, okay?

Hey, what's the matter?

Don't you get enough cops and robbers all day long?

Ponch, come on, he's a cop. He's one of us, okay?

I mean, here's a guy, in his own spare time

he's writing about his personal experiences.

'Things that have happened to him'

'things he's seen, people he's worked with..'

Ponch, this is what a cop is, from the gut level, okay?

The gut level.

Besides, he became famous and he's rich.

Well, I'll wait for the movie to come out.

You sound like his agent.

The movie? They're making movies on the thing.

I mean, they're playing right now, Downtown--

Then, I'll wait till it comes on television.

If my set ever gets fixed. Oh, hey..

Uh, hey, Jon.

You think I could come over and bring my TV sets so that--

Oh, yeah, sure, Ponch, just bring it by anytime.

We'll check out the tubes and everything, okay?

Okay, will do.

Okay, anytime.

Okay, ma'am, the tow truck will be here in just a minute.

Hey, Jon.

LA 15-7, Mary 3 and 4.

We have a multiple southbound Hollywood and Belmont.

'Request assistance and an ambulance.'

I'll check over here.

- Yeah, I'm okay.

- Yeah, everybody's okay.

I want you to step off the freeway here on the shoulder.

Okay, thank you. Please walk down the freeway.

And stay on the left to the shoulder.

- Yeah, I'm alright.

This guy here, he cut into my lane.

Walk down the shoulder of the freeway. Stay on the shoulder.

Hey, hey! Please help! Get me out of here.

- Try the window. - I did.

They're broken. No power. Now, get me out of here.

Try and calm yourself. We'll have you out of here right away.

- Just hang on a minute. - No, no, I can't.

Now, get me out of here.

Come on, come on. Come on.

Come on.

Hey, Barry, you wanna take this traffic control?

I'll check out with Ponch, alright?

Alright. Got it. Let's go.

Hey, mister, don't panic. We'll have you out in a minute.

I told you I can't wait, don't you understand?

- There's a bomb in my car.

- A bomb!

- You're kidding! - No, I ain't!

He ain't.

Okay, slide over and cover your eyes, alright?

Okay, come on, get out of there.

'Hurry up!'

We got to find out why you're chauffeuring a bomb.

Okay.

- Yeah.

Alright.

Now, put your left hand on your head.

What do you mean, a bomb? What kind?

I ain't talking.

Is it timed?

When will it go off?

I ain't talking.

'Let's go nice and easy now. Let's go.'

- Hey, Barry. - Shain, come here a minute.

Listen, we've got a little problem.

We've got a bomb in that limo.

Well, we've gotta stop this traffic.

Why don't we detour them off the off

Hold it up, right there.

LA 15-7, Mary 3, Code 33. We have a bomb on the freeway.

Folks, will you please move down the shoulder of the freeway.

Further down here, please.

'7 Mary 3, what's your 10'

We're 10-97 southbound Hollywood Freeway at Belmont.

The freeway is blocked.

Notify Sheriff's Department, uh, bomb squad and S4.

Help me. So..

S-some-somebody, hel-help me!

Somebody, help me, please!

'Somebody, help me.'

Please. Please.

Help me, p-please.

Try to calm yourself. Help's on its way.

Come on, Baker, let's pull him out.

Ooh. Just wait. Easy.

- Here we go.

Oh, no! Wait, wait, please, wait.

'Alright, stay calm.'

No way we're gonna get him out of there.

'It's just locked in too tight.'

Hey, listen, uh. Try and stay calm, okay?

We're gonna have you out of here in no time. Help's already here.

- Got a bomb in the back seat.

and a victim's pinned on the other side of my partner.

'Alright, we're gonna have to make a hand entry'

'into the device.'

Hey, how you doing?

I've seen better days.

Listen, um..

We're gonna have you out of here in a flash

'so just hang in, okay?'

I guess I could fit that on my schedule.

Besides...

I don't think I'm going anywhere with that.

Yeah, I guess, uh

it does have a scratch or two, doesn't it?

Easy, easy. Take it easy.

Hey, what's going on?

Uh, it's nothing to worry about.

- Hey, listen.

I know a bomb squad when I see one.

It's just a precautionary measure, alright?

Why don't you step back there with the rest of the people?

Thank you.

What's going on over there?

Oh, they're just trying to move the car.

No, they're not. They're wearing asbestos.

You don't need that to move a car.

Hey, hey, try to calm yourself, okay?

It's gonna be alright.

I sure hope they defuse that baby.

Yeah, me too.

I know what's wrong.

- There's nothing wrong. - Asbestos.

That means fire or bomb.

And I-I don't smell any smoke.

It's a bomb, isn't it?

Hey, take it easy, take it easy.

Don't move. You'll just hurt yourself.

Just tell me, will you? There's a bomb in this car, isn't there?

Listen to me. Listen to me.

There was a bomb, but it's gone now.

Are we safe?

Yeah, we're safe.

And you-you stayed with me.

Even though that thing could've gone off any minute.

Well, hey, you fit me into your schedule.

It was the least I could do.

Thanks.

'Who's there?'

It's me, Ponch. I brought my TV set over.

'Okay, yeah, well, hang on a minute.'

You've got company, huh?

'Uh, yeah, yeah, I got company.'

Sounds like a..

...secretary.

Hey, Ponch, wait a minute, wait a minute, listen.

I'll fix your TV for you, okay?

But it's gonna take a while, so why don't you leave?

Hey, come on. I missed the game tonight.

It'll probably just take you a few minutes, Jon.

Yeah, okay.

I'll put it on the counter here and check it out, alright?

You know, I really like this place, Jon.

You know, you know how to live.

Turnstile in the kitchen, I like that.

'And this pay phone, I think that's great.'

Ah, I just think it's your reset button, Ponch.

A saddle, a lasso. Whoo!

A stereo, books, typewriter.

Hey, Jon, what do you got? A secretary in there, huh?

Bulletin board? Bulletin board?

Uh, hey, Ponch, wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Look at me, would you

Now, I'll let you read it when I'm finished.

"Ponch falls in glue."

'"Ponch loses motorcycle."'

'"Ponch burns hole in pants."'

'Uh, yeah.'

"Ponch falls in the mud?"

- Uh.. - Hey, you're writing a book!

- Don't get excited. I can-- - You're writing about me!

How could you do this to me, Jon?

What do you mean, don't worry?

What Getraer doesn't have in my jacket

you got on that board right there!

You're putting nails in my coffin, partner.

Ponch, relax, don't worry.

Now, look it. I didn't even use your name. Look.

" '

I didn't really think of it. It was Mrs. Downey.

Remember, the lady with cookies?

Yeah, that's great, I just hope you know how to spell it

when you put it on my tombstone.

Come on, Ponch. You're gonna like it, okay?

Baloney.

Jon, think of the probation, the unemployment.

Hey, how about fame and fortune, I'm..

Hey, what's Getraer doing on there?

'I don't know. Let's listen.'

The Tollbooth Bandits, as they refer to them

have struck again.

'The latest robbery took place'

'at the Trestle Bridge down the Marina Area'

'except this time was a little more intricate.'

Uh, it started at the First Securities Bank

'where the suspects staked out their victim.'

'A, um, bonded-money courier, who was picking up $50,000.'

'...disappeared quickly in a stolen sports car.'

But you can rest assure

that we have every available man alerted

to keep an eye out for these suspects.

'Well, thank you very much.'

Sergeant Joseph Getraer from the Central Los Angeles office

of the California Highway Patrol.

'You know those dudes are relentless.'

Yeah, righteous bandits who deserve a righteous bust.

That's pretty good, Ponch. righteous bandits.

Listen, uh, you better get going or you'll miss the game.

Hey, Jon, this book of yours

this isn't such a hot idea, you know?

Hey, come on on, Ponch, you're gonna love it.

I'll tell you what, come out to Diamond Lane tomorrow

half-hour earlier, and I'll let you read

some of my stuff, okay?

Okay, I guess that couldn't hurt.

But remember, my career's on the line.

- Hey, Ponch.

Oh..

Thanks.

Enjoy the game, alright?

"Francis Ponchiriblo."

'"The sleek black limousine sped by us'

"as if attempting to break--"

Hey, you listening?

Yeah, yeah.

"To break the sound barrier

"when my partner, Francis Ponchiriblo, uh

"heroically took off in hot pursuit."

Heroically?

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

I guess I was heroic.

Right.

"And with the bomb in the limo ticking away precious seconds.."

Tick, tick, tick.

"...my partner risked his young life

"by fearlessly protecting

"and comforting an innocent victim."

The public's gonna read that about me?

You know, they might even ask for autographs and pictures.

'Yeah, yeah, it could be, Ponch.'

'Now, here, get this one, okay?'

When suddenly, my partner, Francis Ponchiriblo..

...like a Ro..

Like a Roman soldier

'gunned his mighty two-wheeled stallion.'

Roman soldier.

Whoo! I like that.

Yeah. And listen to this, I knew you would.

And as he's coming down the runway, he..

We got one, Ponch.

He gunned his mighty two-wheeled stallion.

Hey, Wambaugh, looks like three people to me.

I don't think so, Ponch.

Nice try.

What do you mean, "nice try?"

You can't drive in the Diamond Lane

unless you have two or more passengers.

If you'll excuse me, I do have two passengers.

'Where does it say that Zorro is not a passenger?'

Hey, wait a minute.

I mean, humans are passengers, right?

Not dogs.

Well, I consider him to be human.

And you better watch yourself, officer.

'Zorro doesn't like being called a dog.'

Oh.

May I see your driver's license and registration, please?

Believe me, you're wasting your time

if you think I'm gonna pay this, I'll have you spending

'half of your life in court.'

That's your privilege, sir.

Uh, I'll get that for you, sir.

Hey, Ponch.

Mind stepping out of the vehicle, please?

That stuff is none of your business.

'To the rear, please.'

Whoo!

Get a load of that luggage.

I'm telling you, this stuff is none of your business.

Maybe, but you mind telling us what your business is?

Appliances.

Yeah?

- Yeah.

Well, then how come there's crumbs in the toaster?

We deal in, uh, used appliances also.

Oh, yeah? Got any receipts for any of this stuff?

Not on me.

Where's your store?

In Bakersfield.

'Oh, yeah, Bakersfield? Hey, that's where I'm from.'

Up by the Stockyards when you come down--

Actually, uh, it's not in Bakersfield.

Closer to Lancaster.

Yeah, that's right, Lancaster, yeah.

'Well, isn't that funny?'

I'm from Lancaster.

Born and raised there.

- Yeah, kind of a small town.

- You know everybody.

Yeah. But I don't remember you.

Well, the town is-is not really Lan--

Listen, now, buddy, I think you ran out of cities.

Now why don't you give me your driver's license

and registration okay?

Thanks a lot.

Hey, here comes your ride.

Jon, do you think you can write us so that I saw the dog first?

I mean, I think it will read better in the book.

Book

Oh, Jon's writing a book.

About us, our day-to-day experiences on the road.

Is that true, Jon?

Uh, yeah, sarge.

I'm not too far along, but I got, uh..

Wait, you know, you can't just write a book

about the department without asking questions.

What do you mean?

First of all, it's gotta go to the captain.

Then the division commander, the assistant commissioner.

The, uh, commissioner. Get approved.

'Then all the facts have to be cleared'

'with our legal department up in Sacramento.'

Then, of course, everything has to be done in triplicate.

Triplicate? Why all the red tape?

Well, the department's very sensitive about lawsuits.

But so the attorney general's office

is gonna have to get involved.

Oh, come on. Attorney general?

What do I have to do, take a loyalty oath? I mean--

Look, look, look. Let me explain.

Look, all the stories about the CHP

have to be portrayed to fit the image

of the officers involved, especially if they're factual.

Oh, Jon's doing a great job about that, sarge.

I'm a Roman soldier.

You're a what?

'15, 7 Adam LA, check a suspicious vehicle'

'a late-model Mercedes at Columbus Bridge tollbooth.'

'Possible 211 suspects.'

'Repeat, suspects are in a late-model Mercedes.'

Uh, you Roman soldiers wanna roll on that?

Come on, Ponch.

Hey, have one for later.

Thanks.

Call the police!

- I don't know, he got lucky.

Yeah, well, we didn't. I flooded it.

Well, come on, let's find another car.

Come on, be a nice lady, sit down over here.

LA 7, Adam.

'211 suspects have commandeered a Plymouth.'

'They're traveling north'

'on the Pacific Coast Highway near Oak.'

He's not gonna make it.

You alright?

Okay, put your left hand on your head.

Looks like your car racing days are over, buddy.

You're lucky to walk away from this one too.

Hey, Bar, Fritz.

Do you wanna run them down to Parker? We'll do the paperwork.

Will do.

Whoo!

You know, it's like you said

uh, righteous criminals, righteous bust.

But, uh, I do feel that it's your turn to do the paperwork.

Yeah, sure, it will go like this.

The drawbridge raised like a giant cannon.

No, no, no, that's no good.

Maybe like this, the drawbridge raised like a giant--

Um..

Waking giant?

Hey, that's perfect. That's perfect, Jon.

Listen to this, we raced down the highway like a..

We raced down the highway like..

H-here, check this out. Maybe a..

Uh, uh, like a bullet searching for a target.

Hey, I like that.

You know, we got a bestseller here, Jon.

Yeah.

I mean, we can make a million..

What's the matter?

Wh

Well, we're partners, aren't we?

'It'll be great for the morale of the force. It really will.'

'Cause you can tell it like it really is.

Insight that's what makes it good.

To learn that they've got guys like me and you on the team.

And it will make a terrific movie.

I wonder who'll get to play me. Maybe Jack Nicholson.

I like him. But he's not good-looking enough.

I'm sure he isn't, Ponch. You mind closing the door?

Yeah, sure.

Maybe we'll get Redford, huh?

But he'll have to dye his hair, for sure.

I better start figuring out what I wanna do with my royalty.

That's a lot of money.

I know the first thing I'm gonna do

I'm gonna buy new shocks for my motor home.

Yup. And then maybe I'll take a trip.

'I'll go to Monte Carlo.'

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, who am I kidding, Ponch? I mean, I'm no writer.

Wait a minute. What do you mean you're no writer?

Don't you remember, Jon?

The sunlight dancing off the top of the cars?

The Roman soldier who gunned

his mighty two-wheeled stallion, huh?

'The drawbridge that raised like a walking giant.'

Uh, waking giant, alright?

Hey, either way, you're terrific, Jon.

You're really great.

Hey, Ponch, don't you understand?

These are just adjectives. Adjectives I borrowed from--

I don't know, other people's novels

the dictionary, everywhere.

'I mean, it's like Getraer said, huh?'

It's all this re tape. Triplicate forms.

Hey, I'm gonna be so old

there's no way I can finish the book.

No, that's nothing. I'll help you.

Think of me, Jon, and my public out there.

Yeah, I have been thinking of you, Ponch, and you know what?

I do not really feel, sincerely

that the public is ready for Francis Ponchiriblo. Huh.

Hey..

Sorry, old buddy.