Original subtitles

Let's see if the van needs help.

It's being helped.

The tag.

Well, I didn't see it.

Ah, it's a good thing this is training day.

You could use it.

Yeah, good chance to sleep through

one of Getraer's slide shows.

Here we go again.

7-David, this is 7-Mary-3.

Uh, request assistance for an 11-82

Hazelton and Olympic.

7-Mary-3, 7-David in two.

Hold it up. Hold it right there.

Okay, folks, nothing more here.

Please get in your cars and move it out, please.

Okay, come on out.

I said, "out."

Good morning, officer.

You and your frat brothers keep this up

you might get the real thing.

'Gotta lose 'em, man. Let's pour it on.'

'Are you kidding? This tank runs on embalming.'

Come on, will you just put your foot on the accelerator?

Drive! I'm sorry.

They're coming, Ben. Step on it. I suggest we go faster.

- God, this thing won't go! - Keep driving.

Do you wanna drive? Do you wanna drive?

'Do you wanna drive?'

I can give you orders.

Step out of the vehicle, please.

Here, in front of the car.

Out of the vehicle.

Out of the vehicle. Heh-heh.

You know, uh..

...you guys just arrived at your own funeral.

Turn around.

Hey, Jon, you see the look on those guys' faces

when the booking sergeant called their dean?

Yeah, I don't think LA will see that hearse

around here for a while.

Hey, Ponch, check this out.

And if he tells us he's only going one way

I'll write him two cites.

Hey, pull o..

You take him, Jon.

I thought this was your out?

Just take him okay? Okay?

Officers, I find this extremely regrettable.

But I have an explanation.

Jon, talk to the man, please.

Okay, Ponch.

Ponch?

Say, is that..

Is that you, Francis?

Francis Llewellyn Poncherello?

Oh, Llewellyn.

I love it.

'That's what the "L" stands for, huh?'

Well, it must be you. There's only room in the world for one.

But, but look at you.

It's nice to see you again.

Well, I'm not so sure, Francis.

I would have chosen a more fortuitous reunion.

Hey, uh, Llewellyn, are you gonna

introduce me to your friend?

Uh, Mr. Singleton, sir, this is officer--

- Jon Baker. - Hmm.

Jon, this is Mr. Singleton.

The principal of Poly High.

- Yes.

As often as the truant officers could catch him.

I must say, I never expected to see you

on that side of the law.

I still remember the number of probations you had.

Probation, huh?

Yeah, I guess we had a few run-ins.

'A few?'

You set the school all-time record

for visits to my office.

Hey, now, wait a minute, you told me

you set the all-time school record for basketball.

What's happened to you, Francis?

Have you turned over a new leaf?

I mean, we must have done

a great deal for you at, uh, Poly High.

Yes, sir, I guess you did.

And I'm sure that you're still grateful

for our continued interest in your welfare?

Yes, sir, I am.

But I still have to tell you, sir

you were violating the law just now.

Well, I've got a great deal on my mind.

For instance, the current crop of Francis Poncherellos.

That's about the best excuse I've ever heard.

Francis..

...are you going to write me a ticket?

Yes.

Mr. Singleton.

Sir?

Good. Good!

You did learn from us.

You're a fine man, I never thought

I'd hear myself say this

but I'm proud of you.

- Now, write the ticket. - Yes, sir.

Say, uh...say, how's his spelling these days?

What?

Oh, it's, uh..

I see. No improvement.

Now, these meters were installed last week

and Caltrans expects to install more next week

along the San Bernardino.

Okay.

Enough for metering on-ramp stoplights.

Barkley, wanna take the screen down, please?

Alright, any questions?

Baker, Poncherello?

So when the sequence of the meters--

Let me, let me ask Getraer.

Uh, do we understand you correctly?

'When it's red, we stop'

and when it's green, we go?

Sit.

Okay.

'One last word about the freeway burglar.'

The sheriff's office says he hit again yesterday

and cleaned out a residence along the San Berdo.

Is he still parking on the freeway, sarge?

Yeah, uh, the sheriff's office thinks he's making it look

like his car is BO. And that's why we've been overlooking it.

Oh, wait a minute. You mean he's tagging himself?

Yeah, we're gonna have to double-check all disableds

until we put the finger on this guy.

You mean, we gotta check every tagged car we see?

Well, only you, Poncherello.

The rest of us will be checking out vans and trucks

since all he's been stealing is TVs and other big stuff.

Okay. Take it.

'LA to the Ventura Freeway Unit.'

'There is a traffic tie-up'

'at the Ventura-Glendale interchange.'

'If there are any units available'

'identify to LA.'

Leslie, breathe out.

Come on, Gretchen, give me some stuff, yeah.

Alright, baby, relate to me. Come on.

Yeah, good!

Okay, come on.

Okay. Everybody, come on.

Give it to me! All at once, let's have it.

'Okay.'

Okay, give me a little more.

You ever seen a happier traffic jam?

You know, I, uh, I wo..

Oh, no.

- There's your answer. - Oh, yeah.

You know, if Getraer would have known this

he wouldn't have sent you.

Yeah, he would have come himself.

Hey, move it.

I'm moving, officer. I'm moving.

Faster!

Can you blame him?

No. Come on.

Hey!

Hey, uh, I'll take the girls.

- You take the teamster.

Well, the girls would just stand around admiring you.

We'd never get this thing straightened out.

I'll tell you what, let's flip a coin, alright

Okay.

Ooh.

Uh...sorry, partner

you take the trucker. Heh-heh.

You're a real killjoy, you know that?

What can I say?

Alright, now, girls, a little more charm.

A little more form.

'Susan. Susan, give me some ballet.'

'Yeah, that's it. Okay, more!'

Claire, arch your back, will you? Okay.

Now smile! Oh, yeah. Yeah, I like that.

'Good! Good!'

Okay, give me some more.

Come on, show us you love it. That's a girl.

- Sir, uh.. - Give me more.

Do you think, maybe I could see your permit?

A permit Surely, you jest.

- Sir, your permit. - Don't have one.

Yeah, well, you're gonna have to move then.

'Cause you're tying up traffic.

I am not responsible

for the animal instincts of commuters.

Hold it, friend. You can't park there.

Oh, what's the big deal? They ain't goin' any place.

Besides, my view from back there was lousy.

Oh, I'm sorry, next time I'll try to get you

a better seat, alright?

- But, uh.. - Hey.

Towing a semi costs about $100 these days.

Hey, come on, listen. I told you, you know

we got the traffic tied up for at least two miles--

A little more, Ginger. That's a girl.

Hey, I'm not gonna ask you again.

Please, please, I..

...gonna lose the sun. I need a little more time.

You are through right now.

Be reasonable. I have a deadline.

- New York is waiting. - Yeah, well, so is half of LA.

Now, pack up your equipment.

Okay, girls, put your little robies on

and get into your cars.

'Uh, girls!'

Girls, explain to him.

Uh, I'm helpless.

Look at it this way.

We stopped those cars from speeding.

- Ha ha. - That's right.

And we're, uh, saving gasoline

and preventing accidents, aren't we?

Yeah. Yeah, well, not exactly, see.

I mean, you have two miles of traffic lined up back there

and I've been waiting, I mean, what are we supposed to do?

Hey, officer.

You're a spoilsport.

I've been called worse than that.

Look!

If that's your partner up there, you should be up there.

That's right.

So the quicker you get back to your rig

the sooner I get up there.

- Come on! Let's move. - Alright, alright.

Hey, hold it there. Get over.

Come on.

You know, I'd hate to have to carry this any further.

- You wouldn't.

- Come on. - I have to clear the area out.

- You're kidding. - Oh, come on.

Hey, come on, come on. It's the kid's job, okay?

- Give me a break.

Yes, it's becoming a very strong possibility.

Jail might be a very interesting idea.

Long vertical bars, deep lit shadows.

Be a terrific offbeat layout. Great set up.

Yeah, we'll have you there in ten minutes, alright?

No, no. Not me, you won't.

- Not me either. - Forget it.

You're alive, but no.

- Bye! - Bye!

Good thinking.

Why don't you join 'em?

I'm certainly gonna put a call through to your commission.

Yeah, well, uh..

...I'm sure he'd love to hear from you.

Come on, at least you could have stalled them

a little longer for your partner.

- Hey, I didn't need to.

What do you mean, you didn't need to?

Some gratitude. I'm down there in the pits with Charles Atlas.

And you're up here in heaven with the angels.

Hey, Ponch. Relax, okay? Relax.

Hey, I got their numbers.

You did?

Hey, Ponch. Ponch, you got a 10-21.

- Uh, just now.

Getraer wants you to call him as soon as possible.

Oh, no. What do I have to explain now?

Would you explain something to me, Frank?

Hey, sarge. Anything you wanna know.

Why am I sending one of my men

one of my, uh, uniformed officers

to his principal's office?

- Mister, uh, Singleton called.

That, uh, name mean anything to you, Frank?

Uh, yeah. Wrong way Singleton.

- Yeah.

I pinched him this morning.

Well, he didn't mention anything about a citation.

He just asked that his, uh, former student

Francis Llewellyn Poncherello

report to his office as soon as possible.

Well, one thing you can count on, sarge

he is not going to talk me out of the cite.

Uh, anything you say, Frank.

Just see the man.

If he put up with you for three years

he deserves a little consideration.

Okay, sarge. If you say so.

Uh, I would appreciate it.

Goodbye, Llewellyn.

You know, Ponch, I think I know what it is.

You got a book overdue, and now he knows where you are.

It's either that or they found out

you forged your diploma. Ha ha.

Funny.

Nah, Singleton just figures

he can get me back on his turf and knuckle me under.

But no way.

He didn't seem like that kind of guy to me.

No, then why do you think we called him

the Frankenstein of Poly High?

I don't know, maybe he had a secretary named Igor. Ha ha.

Very funny.

I'm not a kid anymore. I'm a trained killer.

I've handled tougher guys than Singleton.

Hey, you listening to me?

Yeah.

Remember when I booked that Herb Nesbaum?

Well, this ticket stands as written.

Oh, my God. I know it.

Hey, uh, killer..

...I think you forgot your kickstand.

'I love it.'

- Let's say on three.

One, two, three.

Okay.

Uh-oh. Aw, Ponch, you broke the spark plug off.

The carburetor's leaking around the diaphragm.

You see, if old man Singleton would've accepted his ticket

like a man, this wouldn't have happened.

Yeah, I'll call for a tow.

This is it. I've had it with him.

This is high noon and this is the last showdown.

Central LA, 15-7-Mary-3.

Would you send a motorcycle trailer

to the administration building, Poly High?

'15-7-Mary-3, 10-4.'

Hey, Jon, bring me my baton.

Ponch, you don't need the baton, alright?

Hey, maintain.

One way is one way. You were there.

You saw the violation.

He can fight this at a supreme court.

Hey, come on, Ponch. Just take it easy. I mean, the guy--

Francis, good to see you.

I'm here, Mr. Singleton, but it's not gonna do you any good.

There's no way you can scare me or con me

into avoiding that ticket. You understand?

Of course, you're absolutely right.

I don't care if you hire a lawyer and..

Of course?

I'm right?

I'm proud of what you've become.

Look at you, from the lowest depths

to the highest heights.

I think you'd be an inspiration to the entire student body

and I'd like you to address them on Career Day.

Me?

Yours is an amazing success story, Francis.

Really?

Yeah, frankly, I think you could even relate

to some of our more difficult cases.

'You could talk their language.'

As a matter of fact, I remember you could even

write their language on the walls.

Hey.

For the old alma mater, huh?

For you, Mr. Singleton.

- Fine. Thank you, Francis.

We'll see you on Friday in the auditorium at 1:15.

Right, 1315 hours.

Hear that?

How's it gonna feel like to ride with a returning hero, huh?

Yeah, well, that depends if the returning hero

gets his bike fixed. Come on.

Shh, you wanna deprive some kid of his inspiration?

- Hey, Lou! Lou! '

On your report here, I, uh..

...I can't read this address. Help me out.

Yeah, sure.

I don't believe it.

You gonna tell him your, uh, success story

before or after he chews you out?

Before. There may not be an after.

How you doing, sarge?

Sarge, now, before you say anything

I've got some great news for the patrol.

You're resigning and going into

the wrecking business?

Sarge, believe me.

This little mechanical problem is nothing

compared to the terrific PR opportunity--

Don't talk, just listen.

We have nearly 100 vehicles operating out of central.

Ninety nine of them spend most of their time on the street.

Now, one of them spends most of its time in the repair shop.

Do you know who that vehicle belongs to, Frank?

- Sarge, let me explain. - No, let me explain.

Your job is not to keep the mechanics busy.

Your job is to patrol.

And you cannot patrol the freeways on foot.

- I know. - No.

No, you don't know, Frank.

'Otherwise, you wouldn't be wearing out the tow trailer'

and overworking the repair crew.

Maybe you should join the Mounties, Frank.

If you treated your horse the way you treat your motorcycle

at least he could bite back.

Sarge, you'll feel a whole lot different

once you hear the whole story.

Excuse me, guys.

I mean, I pulled up in front of the building, right?

Yeah?

I can't hear a thing you're saying.

But you didn't hear me.

I know all your excuses by heart.

I even have them numbered.

And that looked like number 24.

Uh, sarge, what's the plan? Does Ponch get a new bike?

There aren't any more bikes right now.

Well, hey, what about your bike?

No way!

The last time I lent you my bike, it..

Never mind. Baker, you go back on patrol.

Poncherello, you take the desk.

Desk?

Look, I am short of desk officer.

You're short of bike.

I'm allergic to paperwork, sarge.

I'll get a rash.

Just don't drive the chair over 90.

Hi, Joe.

Oh, good. I need an observer. Uh, you got any?

- Yeah. I'll check the roster. - I'm available.

- Uh, now, wait a minute, Frank. - I know, sarge.

Normally, you'd have somebody else available, right?

But you just said yourself you were shorthanded.

Uh, so I'd be happy to help you out.

Aw, what's the use? Okay, Frank. Go.

Thanks, sarge. Uh, watch my helmet, okay?

Yeah, one thing, Frank.

Go easy on the chopper. We don't have that many.

Prowler.

Negative. That's a pool cleaner.

'LA to the Golden State Units and Helicopter 5.'

'The sheriff reports a lost boy.'

'Last seen vicinity of Valley Heart and Ethel'

'wearing a red t-shirt and blue jeans.'

'Any unit available identify to LA.'

LA, 7-Mary-3, will respond to location.

Helicopter 5, 10-4.

Helicopter 5, this is 7-Mary-3.

Do you copy?

Come in, 7-Mary-3.

Uh, Valley Heart runs next to the LA River.

Most kids can't stay away from it.

We'll check it.

There he is!

'Down there by the wall.'

'Los Angeles, this is Helicopter 5'

lost boy is located.

'LA River at Sepulveda Basin.'

7-Mary-3, copy. ETA of two.

Son, please move back.

'We're coming down.'

- Hi, there.

No, I wanna talk to you about fishing.

- Yeah.

You know that one time in this very spot in this river

I heard that they caught the biggest piece of cement

and they were..

- Mikie.

Mikie.

Tell me something, Mikie.

Did you find the same thing down here

that all the other kids did?

Nothing, you know, this dumb old cement river

has absolutely nothing anyone would ever want.

Yeah, you probably guessed that though, huh?

- I guess so. - Yeah.

And we wouldn't wanna get your mother upset

over nothing, right?

- I guess not.

Okay, now, listen.

You've been down here now

so there's no reason to come back again.

' - 'I suppose so, yes.'

Okay, now, let's make a deal with you and me, alright?

That it's time to go home.

- It's a deal. - Okay.

Hey, Mikie, how would you like to ride in a helicopter?

Far out.

Uh, how 'bout a motorcycle?

None of my friends have ridden in a whirlybird.

Can't win them all, partner.

Hey, Ponch.

That's a good human interest story

for the students of Poly High.

Are you kidding, I'm gonna let them in on the big stuff

the true excitement of the CHP.

Oh, yeah

Like the time I saved that driver

from the burning gas truck, or the time

I delivered twins on the Harbor freeway.

Wait a minute, I was the one that delivered the twins

and I was the one that saved the driver, but if you--

Hey, Jon. This is a high school audience.

Do you really think they're gonna be interested in details?

Well, that depends on what you consider details.

So far I've got about a dozen inspiring points for my speech.

You think you got time for a dozen?

Hey, old buddy.

They'll just have to cut their applause short.

Uh...applause, huh?

Yeah, that could be a problem.

I'm sorry.

Hey, Ponch!

If we don't get back on patrol, LA's gonna think we're lost.

- I'll catch you later, hero. - Alright, Jon.

Hey, Marty, could you give me a few pointers?

I'm giving a talk at Poly High

and I think the kids would really be interested

in hearing how we fly those things.

Circle back, Marty. I'm wanna check something.

Helicopter 5 to Ventura Freeway Units.

'Anybody tag a light blue van'

stalled on the eastbound shoulder at Winnetka?

Helicopter 5, this is 7-Adam. Negative.

Helicopter 5, 7-Mary-3. Negative on stalled vehicle.

Helicopter 5, 15-7-David. Negative.

Only three units on the Ventura West today.

Could be our 4-5-9 van.

7-Mary-3, would you check it out?

10-4, Helicopter 5. Westbound at Haskell.

Attention all units, I've spotted possible 4-5-9 suspects

'on Ventura.'

Suspects are moving to the van.

Helicopter 5, 7-Mary-3 has an ETA of two.

4-5-9 suspects are now heading west on Ventura near Ledge

'in a light blue late model van.'

Available units, please roll.

I'm with you, Ponch.

4-5-9 suspects are now heading south

off Ventura on to Ledge.

7-Mary-3, suspects now going west on Kanan Road.

Jon, do you copy?

I'm with you, Ponch.

Hang tight.

Your 10-20, 7-Mary-3.

7-Mary-3 and 7-Mary-David

'are east of the tunnel.'

Suspects have apparently made a U-turn in the tunnel.

Yeah, a regular Houdini.

C

'Suspects will be heading your way.'

Make a right turn at the next intersection.

'Repeat, at the next intersection.'

Freeze. Freeze right there!

You're not going anyplace.

Put your hands on your head.

Spread your legs.

- Hey, Barry. - Yeah.

I think these nice people would like to check in

to the, uh, Graybar Motel.

Oh, yeah.

I think we can find a couple of vacancies.

'Hey, not bad, partner.'

I think I'll mention you in my speech, old buddy.

Thanks.

There he is, students.

Francis Llewellyn Poncherello

as he appeared in our school's yearbook.

And here he is today

one of California's finest.

It's with great pride on this Career Day

that I introduce to you one of Poly High's

most prominent alumni, Mr. Francis..

...or as we say today, Frank Poncherello.

This is gonna be a piece of cake. Watch.

Thank you, Mr. Singleton.

And now, my fellow..

I, uh..

I, uh..

Hi, uh, my name's Jon Baker.

This is my partner, Francis Llew..

Well, we just call him "Ponch."

'Uh, he's the kind of guy that's too modest'

to talk about himself, but, um..

You know, last week, he closed down

almost the entire LA freeway system

'to save a shaggy dog that was stranded'

in the middle of the freeway and when the do..

Okay, I know what you're thinking.

Chippie, the badge, the gun, the whole bit.

But, really, in all seriousness

Ponch here, uh, yesterday single-handedly directed

an air-to-ground search

and because of it saved the life of a 6-year-old child.

And, uh, he's also responsible

for, uh, saving the lives of, uh

two elderly, uh, people that were in a runway bus--

Listen, Jon. That-that was nothing.

You guys should've been there when I chasing

this carload full of bank robbers on the freeway.

Oh, I mean, it was a ride. It was a chase.

These dudes, eight, nine guys in one car.

'Shooting down the freeway, and I'm coming on my 'cycle.'

And I make this hairpin turn to the left, because..

...I anticipated they were gonna come off this ramp.

Whoa! So I came off the other side and I got 'em.

Oh, and I pulled 'em out. You should've been there.

'They were moving. They were going, like, 85.'

'And I was.. But I decided I'm gonna go for it.'

'And I'm going in at him, and I make this hairpin turn.'

And they cut to the left

and then suddenly they go to the right.