Original subtitles

"Boobskies!"

This is to sort of give you an example. It's not easy. Okay.

And-- See? Not easy, all right?

I'm not a professional. I've got professional money.

Okay.

I'm studying. Stop.

- You gotta have confidence,

and, uh, well, frankly, balls.

Go like that-- And see?

Look at that. That's golden. And I didn't scratch.

Oh. Mmm.

Ahh.

I love morning sex. Yeah.

Yeah. Sex is good. Mmm.

Sex is a good thing.

We're good. Yes, we are.

We are good together.

Hmm. What?

No. Why-Why-Why'd you do that?

You can't smoke in front of me.

Since when? Since I quit.

When did that happen?

Oh, last week.

Uh, you haven't noticed.

Well, I think that's a little bit-- a little bit selfish of you.

I need a partner in my addictions.

My mama didn't raise no quitters.

So you quit smoking.

What would possess you to do something like that?

Um, well, actually, um--

Holy shit! What?

What-What? I have a gray hair.

Rich.

I do. Right here-- Right in the middle of my forehead.

Good God. That's what happens when you get older.

I was over at Quentin's the other day,

and I'm looking through his extensive collection of Playboys, right?

And I remember when I was a kid,

looking at "centerfolds" and thinking,

"I could never get a woman like that, because she's so much older than me."

And I'm looking at this centerfold, and guess how old she was, Sam.

- How old? - Nineteen.

She was 19 years old.

I'm 25 now. It's just--

I feel old.

You're not old. You're just... growing up.

Everyone's growing up now.

Now my best friend is getting fucking married.

That's so bad?

I think it's a little bit sudden, yeah.

Uh, could you... not do that?

Michael and Elise have been together almost as long as we have--

About half a decade.

So how long do you think it takes? What?

Getting married.

It's different for different people. It's--

What about for you?

- Where are you going with this? - Well, we were on the subject, and I just...

sort of want to know.

How long would it take you?

Are you proposing to me?

I don't know.

I guess I'll let you figure it out.

Morning. How long have you been standing there?

Long enough. Is it too late to back out of the wedding?

Don't even think about it.

You're not getting off that easy.

Sam and Rich still asleep?

Man, they went straight to bed after the rehearsal.

Yeah. They must be tired from the drive.

What's with the salads?

Well, you know how everybody is.

Jen doesn't like iceberg in hers, and Lana can't have anything that's not green,

and Simon has that fear of cucumbers,

so I'm just being prepared.

Right. Well, I'm sure they'll understand if it's not perfect.

Yeah. I-- I won't. Right.

Repeat after me. Okay.

Everything is going to be fine.

Everything is going to be fine.

That's not my dog.

Uh-- Well, you're Lana Hatcher, right?

Yeah, but that's not the dog that I left here.

Uh-- Yeah, it is.

All right, Steve,

but the dog that I left here came in for a bath, not a haircut.

He was a cute, shaggy, salty-looking dog.

Th-That's-- That's fucked up.

Look, lady,

I wasn't here when they did it, so I don't know what you want from me.

Well, I'm-- I'm not paying for it.

- Uh-- - I'm not.

Know what? I really don't care.

Yeah. Good.

Come here, baby.

What did they do to you?

No, no. Look, dipshit.

You're coming, all right? Mikey is tying the knot.

Fuck this "I'm in Mexico, I can't make it" shit.

What the hell are you doing in Mexico anyways?

- I had to see about a girl. - You had to see about a girl?

Yeah. This is not Good Will Hunting.

All right? I am not Robin Williams. You have no idea.

Frank and I have come up with some amazing shit.

Okay. Just promise me that you'll be at Mikey's by 6:00, okay?

Done. Listen. Don't forget to talk to the studio about the jet.

All right. I got it. Richie's here. Gotta go.

- Richie's there? Ho, ho. Tell Richie I-- - Fuckin' actors, man.

They win one Golden Globe, they think the whole world revolves around them.

- Right now I gotta talk to you--

Hold that thought.

Quentin Rockford.

Quentin, this is Frank from Old Pictures about that project.

Yeah? Yeah, we gotta get Celia...

to take her top off. Hey, fuck you and your dirty fucking mother.

All right? She's not taking her shirt off, you son of a bitch.

Hey, hey, hold on. We're willing to-- to pay for it.

Listen, I'm sorry about that. What were you saying?

- It's gonna be very tasteful. - Yeah?

And, uh-- How much?

Well, an extra $1,000. Hey, shirt's gone, buddy. Fax me the contract.

- All right, thanks.

You have absolutely no scruples. Oh, please.

Look, it's not like I'm telling Meryl Streep to flash her bush, all right?

It's Sylvia fuckin' Carmen. She whips her tits out every time she gets drunk.

At least this way she gets paid for it.

So what did you want to talk to me about, man? You look like shit.

I think Samantha asked me to marry her this morning.

- You think? - Yeah. She said she was gonna leave it up to me.

To, like, what? Say yes or no?

To decide whether or not...

she actually asked me the question.

Are you kiddin' me?

Nope.

You get married-- Would you be happy?

I think so.

You cross that fuckin' bridge, you better know so.

All right? Divorce is a motherfucker, man.

I got 37 clients going through it right now,

and it is not pretty.

Okay, now, playing devil's advocate,

let's say you don't get married.

- Now how would you feel? - I'd miss her.

Ah! See? That--

Would you miss her, or miss fucking her?

Either you don't want to fuck anyone else for the rest of your life,

or you don't want to imagine...

someone else fucking the girl you're currently fucking...

for the rest of their lives.

All right? So promise me that you are going to think about this, okay?

And you're not just gonna head off...

to some drive-through chapel in Vegas, okay?

- Okay. - Okay.

Oh, shit. We're running late. We gotta go.

Shit.

House looks great.

See why your grandpa left it to you.

I'm clean now, Michael.

Hey, you don't have to listen to me if you don't want to,

but I'm trying here, Michael.

You show up on my doorstep on the weekend of my wedding,

and you expect me to-to forget everything?

- To forgive you? - Michael? Is everything okay?

It's fine.

I-I was just at the kitchen window and I saw-- Hi.

You must be Elise. Baby, can you go inside?

Yeah. I'm sorry. Who are you? I'm Jonathan.

Hi.

I'd, uh-- I'd say I was in the neighborhood,

but I think we'd all know I was lying.

Yeah. I'm, uh, staying at the Crest Ridge Motel.

If you need anything, either of you--

Right. Okay.

Bye.

What's going on? I don't know.

I don't know what the fuck he was doing here.

I don't know what the fuck he was thinking.

Yeah, I'm-I'm sorry. Oh, no. No, honey. Don't worry about it.

It's okay.

Shit.

Thank you.

Sorry, miss. No smoking in cab.

That's fine. Just give me a second.

Would you put that out?

Please?

I hate this fucking city.

I love this fuckin' city.

Pockets! One and only.

How are you, boys?

How's it goin'? What's goin' on? Look at you.

Hey, look at me? Look at you. Look at this.

Hey. Let's go. Okay, baby.

I like your hat. Hey, thanks. I like this jacket.

Good flight? Always.

How long? About 12 hours or so.

I got laid in the bathroom though.

That passed some time. Oh, yeah?

Yep. You pay extra for that?

Yep. My man in Thailand.

That's me, baby. You gotta have some wild-ass stories, man.

More than you will ever be able to imagine.

Like some Deer Hunter type shit? Mau! Mau! Mau!

- Better. Better. - Well, don't hold back, man. Let it out.

In due time. In due time I will tell.

So who's gonna be at this party anyway?

Oh, everybody. Everybody like everybody from school, everybody?

Yeah, yeah, and some others. Oh, Simon's gonna be there. You know Simon.

- Simon who? - Simon Blake. I represent him.

The Simon Blake? One and only.

Wow. Fancy. Oh, that's right.

You left the year before we met him at that Christmas party.

Oh, the one where he fucked Lana on my desk.

Lana fucked Simon Blake?

Fuck, I'm sorry, Pockets. All right? I'm a little-- It was just one time.

It was on my desk, and it was very weird.

I can't look at my office the same way. It's okay.

You know what? Whatever. It was in the past, right? It's ancient history, man.

There you go. There you go.

Hang on.

Anyways, enough about that shit. How are you, man?

I'm good. I'm good. I'm really good. Yeah?

Yeah, we got him. The culture shock yet? People?

It's coming. No tuck-tucks or anything like that?

Pockets? Only when I hang out with you. Blue or black?

Black. Here you go.

I'm showering.

I'm just getting the laundry.

Are you okay? You've been in there a while. You need anything?

- I'm fine. - Okay.

Hey. Hey, honey, people are gonna be here soon.

So what are you gonna wear? 'Cause I'm thinking the khakis.

Sure.

I, um--

I didn't know he was so old.

Who?

Your father.

He's not that old.

Well, I don't know. I've never seen a picture of him before.

- I guess he just looks like he's had a tough life. - He has.

You two have the same eyes, you know.

I don't know. Maybe it's a good thing that he showed up, Michael.

- What do you mean by that? - Well, think about it.

You and I-- We're getting married tomorrow, and we're starting our life together,

so maybe it's best that you put your old life to rest.

Elise, I'm sorry. You don't have any idea what you're talking about, okay?

- The man, he-- - He what?

You-- There's a lot you don't know.

Michael, what did this man do to you,

and why can't you talk to me about it?

Just forget it, okay? It has nothing to do with anything.

Well, obviously it does. Elise--

This is probably the worst time you could have chosen to bring this up.

I don't care. I don't care about him. Do you get that?

Do you know what I would give to have my father at this wedding?

You'll never realize how much he means to you until he's gone.

- He is gone. - Fine.

Your fucking khakis are in the closet.

Anyway, they totally butchered him.

Lana, it's hair. It'll grow back.

I know, but I'm just way too unbalanced right now...

to deal with a major life change like that.

Have you been taking your Paxil?

No. It makes me hyper.

Well, I thought it was supposed to even things out a bit.

I'm constantly at a medical .5%.

Ouch.

Well, how's your love life? Nonexistent.

What does that mean?

My psychiatrist said that I should, uh,

wait until I'm well to get into another bad relationship.

Oh. Makes sense.

Well, I guess it's along those lines, but, um,

Rich said they picked up Pockets.

Oh. Yeah.

Yeah, it'll be-- It'll be good to see him.

I haven't seen him-- You know, it's been a while.

Yeah. And, uh, they said Simon's coming.

He is? Yeah.

Oh, my God. When it rains, it pours.

- Lana? - Donovan.

Hey. How are you doin'?

You look great-- Invigorated.

I'm good. You're still in town?

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

I had to be at this presentation on Monday,

so, uh, I'll be here the whole weekend.

Good. That's good.

No. No, it's great.

See, "good," to me, is a very mediocre word.

While "great," on the other hand, exudes confidence.

And power.

You said it, girl. Power.

- Yeah. I like you.

Hey, Lana, um,

I-I was wondering if, uh--

If you're not busy, uh,

maybe we could get together again this weekend, huh?

Uh, actually, I have a wedding that I have to go to.

Old friends, things like that.

Hey, hold the phone. If-If I'm not mistaken, you can bring a date...

to a wedding, right?

Yeah. Oh, my--

You are the sweetest.

Isn't she so sweet?

Thank you so much for the invite. That's-That's really nice.

That's-- It's gonna be a great weekend.

I-I can't wait. Black tie? I'll wear my tux.

Okay. I'll call you.

Yeah!

Was that-- Was that who I think it was? Yes.

And you know him? Yes.

But not intimately.

Kind of. Oh, you didn't.

Last night, in a Holiday Inn.

You are just full of surprises.

Sammy, I've slept with five guys in my entire life,

two of which died, ironically hitting each other in the same car accident,

and the other three all show up in the same weekend.

But... you didn't really sleep with Pockets.

I mean-- Close enough. I don't know.

I can't talk about this now. This weekend's gonna be pure hell.

Oh, God. This weekend is gonna be ridiculous.

Okay, so wait a second.

Why is your tie a different color again?

Uh, that would be because the groom and the best man are in silver,

and everyone else is in black.

You dirty bitch. Pulling the wedding hierarchy.

I see how it is. All right, fine.

Just means that the head ushers have to stick together. Ain't that right, Pockets?

That's right. Head ushers like a motherfucker. Gimme some.

So what did you guys get them?

- Got 'em wine glasses. - Wrote them a book.

What do you mean, you wrote 'em a book?

Like a small book I printed up about all of us...

and them falling in love and--

You know. It's nice.

You wrote 'em a fuckin' book? Like a full-length book?

It's more like an epic poem, but yeah. Great.

- What about you, Pockets? - I got them a trip to Thailand for their honeymoon.

- Nice. - I thought they were going to Hawaii.

So do they.

Wait. What-- What the fuck?

You bought them their honeymoon, and you wrote 'em a fuckin' book?

I got 'em wine glasses. I mean, don't get me wrong.

They're nice glasses. I followed what they registered for, but please!

You assholes coming in with this shit?

I'm gonna look like the biggest schmuck on the face of the planet, man.

Guys, you wanna know what? Fuck this. We are going to the store.

Hey, wait. We can go to Ikea.

We'll get them the matching salt shakers. Blow me.

Ah, you must be Jen.

"Nifer." Yes.

Which makes you Michael? Yes, it does.

Let's-- Oh.

Nice to meet you. Thanks.

That's my hand.

Sorry. Um,

Elise tells me that you're in the-- the music business in London.

Uh-huh. Well, that must be pretty cool.

Mm-hmm. That's great.

Oh, my goodness! Oh!

Mmm!

Um, well, there's come chairs outside that I've got to, uh--

Yeah.

Wow. Wow. Look at you. I can't believe you're here.

You knew I was comin'. I know. It's just-- It's been so long.

I know. It's been three years.

It's really good to see you. And you too, love.

Now where would one find a martini around here? I need a drink.

Some things never change, huh? I guess some things do.

Come on. I'm gonna show you the house.

Okay. Can I smoke in here?

Look at that. Look at that. There he is.

Pockets Malone. Whoo! Come here.

Oh, my goodness. How many times do I get to spank the groom?

Okay, I'll pass. No, come back. Come back.

I just wanna spank a little stockbroker like yourself.

You're so cute. I missed you. Isn't it just adorable?

I got a big, fat fuckin' boner. How about you, Rich?

Yeah, hard as a rock. All right, gentlemen, listen.

I think it's time that the pre-party commences, yeah?

Yeah. Yeah? Where's the bride-to-be?

She's inside showing her old roommate around.

Oh. She hot? Yes, but something tells me you're not her type.

I'm sorry if it was a little weird out there.

It's just Michael and I got in this fight earlier.

And it was weird. Yeah?

His father showed up.

Hmm.

Look, Jen, I just--

I just want to--

Oh, I miss this so much.

It's not the same when it's not you.

You'd squirm when I'd kiss your tummy.

Yeah.

Jen, I shouldn't be doing this. I don't care.

I'm getting married tomorrow.

I know, baby, but I don't care.

Okay, wait, wait. Wait.

Jen, stop, please. I don't wanna stop.

Okay, Jen, please.

Hey, all you boys and girls out there! I'm Donovan Parker.

Where's my best friend, Salad?

Hey, everybody!

Are you guys ready to go on a journey to Power Land? Huh? Are ya?

Well, come on. Buckle up for safety. It's Power Time!

Do you get made fun of on a daily basis just because...

you're a tad bit bigger than the rest of the other kids?

Maybe you just don't know how to spell.

Maybe you're a littler "girlier" than the rest of the other guys.

Don't worry, young ones. You can put all those worries and fears behind...

with my brand-new Donovan Parker Power package.

You can be the coolest and the smartest kid in your school.

Combining an intensive learning program with basic, everyday aerobics,

you can not only be the sharpest tool in the shed, but you'll be the strongest.

C-A-T spells cat.

That's right, little buddy. It does spell cat.

Now, kids, go get your folks. Have 'em call my toll-free number...

or log on to my Web site at donovanparkerpowertime.com.

Because it's no fun being left on the outside.

So let's rule your school with Power Time!

Yeah! I love it! Power Time!

Come on! Do it!

Dude, I don't know what you think about that,

but that guy is really creepy.

What is that? You know, I bought his books for my nephew--

And he lost 20 pounds. So, you know, go figure.

If you say so. I-- I've been away a long time, you know?

So how's business? Business is good. It's good. I'm not complaining.

Ultimate Fighting Championship. We have a hundred fighters now. Three of them are mine.

You think what you wanna think, but I'm tellin' ya it's a good gig.

Here's to bringing it to the bank. Hey. iSalud!

Mmm. You? Me?

Yeah. Okay. All right.

Richie. Got you a drinkie.

Hi.

Hi.

Well, this isn't uncomfortable.

- Sorry, Sa-- How are you, Sam? - Hi, Pockets.

It's so good. How you doin'?

- Nice to see you. I thought we lost you over there. - No, no. Still hangin' in.

- Hi, Samuel. - Hi, Lana.

Sorry. Drinks? Great.

Great. That way.

I still love you.

I really care about you too. I just--

It's not like that for me anymore.

What do you mean-- I mean, just so I know.

When you say... that it's not like that for you anymore--

What does that mean? "Not like that."

I'm not attracted to-- to women, you know?

It was you. I was in love with you.

But now I'm in love with Michael.

You fight with Michael. Come on. You know it's not like that.

It's just I don't see a future with you.

My future is with Michael.

Right.

I'm gonna unpack.

All right.

Is everything, um--

Yeah. I'm fine.

Well, we'll be having a little dinner in a while.

Um, I'm actually not that hungry right now.

Well, we'll be having some cocktails, too, if you're interested in that.

That sounds good, pretty boy.

Why don't you just let me finish unpacking?

I'll be out in a little bit.

Okay.

Happy to be here.

- So, P. - Yeah?

How's life? Life is good. It's really good. Really good. Yeah.

I've been doin' the scout thing in Thailand, which is really cool.

I met this girl who works in the octagon, which is what we call the ring.

It's really funny. She's wearin' this little lei.

I went over. "We're not in Hawaii," which she thought was really hysterical.

Turns out her name's Leilei, which, you know, it's funny because "lei," "Leilei."

You know? Just funny.

Um, yeah, she's really cute. The other day, she's wearing this pink scarf.

She had it around her head. She looked like a nun. Really adorable.

So, yeah, to answer your question, I am currently seeing someone.

That's what you asked me, right? 'Cause-- Yeah? Okay.

I'm gonna freshen-- Yeah? Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

- Um, hello. - Oh, I'm sorry.

I must have dialed the wrong number. Wait. Who is this?

Jonathan, is that you? Yeah. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to bother you. I called on instinct.

I hope I didn't-- No. No, it's all right.

It's, um-- It's just a little crazy here right now.

Hmm. I can imagine.

I remember the night before I married Michael's mother.

Actually, I barely remember it at all. I was so wasted. Oh.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

Michael hasn't been the same since you showed up.

Yeah, well, it didn't go quite as well as I hoped it would. Yeah.

Look, Jonathan, I don't know you,

but whatever happened between the two of you must have been pretty bad.

It was a rough ride, all right.

It's not really my place, Elise. I should probably let Michael tell you.

Why doesn't anybody wanna give me a straight answer?

Can you tell me that? 'Cause I'm kinda confused.

Hey, he's had a rough life.

I sure as hell didn't help matters any.

Mmm, go easy on him, all right?

He's a good kid.

I could tell he really loves you.

I should go.

I still haven't taken a shower yet.

Um, I'll tell him you called?

No, no. That's okay. Don't-- Don't bother.

It was really nice to meet you, though, today, Elise.

Yeah, it was really nice meeting you too. Bye-bye.

Oh, hey. Thank you.

Yeah.

How you holdin' up? Good.

Yeah? I think. Yeah.

Not really, but it'll pass.

You? Yeah, I don't know.

I heard about that. Samantha?

Yeah, secrets don't last long in this crowd, huh?

No, they don't.

My father showed up today.

Really? Mm-hmm.

Jesus. Man, I haven't seen him since-- Yeah.

So what are you gonna do? Me?

I don't know, man. You tell me. What would you do?

I'm doin' it. Yeah, you're doin' it, but--

How do you know you're ready?

You just do. I love her.

Yeah, you love her, but--

What if just being in love with her isn't enough?

It is enough.

Okay. Okay. Yeah?

I think everyone needs a little bit more booze.

Are you drinking or what?

No? You'd better be drinking later on tonight.

You must be the roommate.

And that makes you what, the bartender?

No, no. I'm, uh--

I'm Quentin, the agent.

Oh. Stick to bartender.

Much more honest profession.

Definitely more attractive.

Excuse me.

I'll keep that in mind.

Bitch.

- Hey. - Hey.

Look, I want to apologize for earlier.

That wasn't me.

Well, we all have our secrets, right?

I just don't want to end up like him.

Like your father? Come on. That's--

No. It's-- The way I snapped at you is the way he used to act,

and I don't wanna be like that-- not like him.

Well, you aren't.

Maybe if you-you talked to him every once in a while, you'd see that.

Do you love me?

Do you really love me? Because I really love you.

And just with everything going on, I started questioning.

Hey, no, don't.

Don't. I'll have no questioning tonight.

I love you.

You're my whole world. We're getting married tomorrow.

And all of our friends are downstairs.

And we're gonna go and we're gonna have a good time, understood?

Understood.

- What was that?

- What was that? - We heard a crash.

- Simon says, "I've arrived!" - Should've known.

Whoops.

He's worse every time I see him.

You guys know my friend? Franklin Brauner-- director.

The spirit in me salutes the spirit in all of you.

Doin' a movie together.

Welcome. Quite an entrance. Yeah, buddy.

Can I get you more drink? Oh, that'd be beautiful.

Okay, okay. You're doin' a movie together?

That's right, my good friend, my agent.

I just got back from Mexico scoutin' locations, castin' some of the female roles.

It's a metaphysical Western. It's El Topo meets The Matri

There's no script. We're gonna improv the whole thing.

And Franklin, he's all about the art. He's got this idea.

We're gonna shoot the whole thing while we're on peyote.

Can I be an extra?

- Isn't that right, Frankie? - It's absolutely true.

You can't plan your metaphors. You have to discover them.

I think I'd like to sit down now.

How's it goin', bro? Simon Blake. I know who you are.

I'm Sam. Sam Malone.

No shit? Like that guy from, um-- Cheers?

Yeah. You're shittin' me.

No, not kidding at all, except that show started when I was in the first grade.

And ever since, I can't seem to tell people my full name...

without a Ted Danson mention in the following sentence.

That's awesome. So, if you don't mind, people call me Pockets.

You're Pockets. Fuck! Frankie, this is the guy I was tellin' you about,

the one who put his left nut in the vacuum cleaner.

- Quentin! - What? It's funny.

We're just messin' with you, man.

He was told it was, like, an autoerotic asphyxiation thing with, you know--

So why do they call you Pockets? I don't know.

Someone said it one day, and it just stuck. Yeah. Oh.

Pockets, you got any, uh, ChapStick?

Yes, I do. You want mint or cherry?

Regular. Regular.

Uh, that was cool as shit. What can I say?

Not so much. Thanks.

Hey. Do you mind if I join you?

No, not at all.

We met a minute ago, but I didn't catch your name. Oh. Jennifer.

Jennifer. Hi. I'm Lana. Hi.

Do you have an extra one of those? Yeah.

Here you go. Thank you.

You're welcome. Thanks.

Thank you.

I'm a social nicotine addict.

Yeah, I used to be a social smoker,

but now I just smoke all the time.

You look a little lost. You okay?

Yeah. I just don't know anybody in there.

Things change, you know?

Well, I'm gonna get something to drink.

Do you want anything?

Uh, I'm good. Thank you though.

All right. See ya later.

Okay. See ya.

You know, I gotta tell ya, Franklin.

I really liked your last film.

Despite the box office, I thought it was great.

Are you a person of some significance?

Yeah, yeah. I'm Quentin Rockford.

I'm Simon's agent over at U.M.A.

So you're not a person of some significance.

Yeah, but listen. I gotta ask you a question.

Are you happy with your current representation?

Too little too late. I just signed with Expedition.

Hello. I'm Franklin Brauner. I don't think we've met.

My dick is so big it won't fit into a tennis ball can.

That's great. Must compensate for everything else.

Hey, Buttons, you need a drink.

Man, it's Pockets. Come on. I'm so-- Yeah. Yeah.

Listen. I wanna ask you something. Come here.

Did you ever sleep with that girl-- Lana? Who?

Lana. Over there. Lana. Lana.

Oh. Yeah. You did.

Did you? Not exactly, no.

She's got issues, dude. Like you wouldn't believe, right?

Right? Right? You know what I'm talkin' about. Absolutely.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I like you, man.

You're young, you got good taste in suits, and your name is Pockets.

I like that. That's me.

Hey, I'm sorry about before, man.

I gotta warm up to people, you know? Don't worry about it.

You wanna get that drink? Now you're talkin'.

Let's go. Come on. Okay. Okay. Everybody!

Come on. Excuse me.

It's about that time.

I've known this poor excuse for a man all my life.

He's my best friend in the world,

and tomorrow we lose him to the ranks of the blissfully married.

But tonight, before he puts away all of his childish things,

we have him for one more evening.

So without further ado, to the city of sin!

I love you!

Hey! That's my ass. That's my ass.

Hey, wait a minute. Careful with that one. Careful with that one.

Oy, yoy, yoy!

Hey. Where you goin'? Hey.

Probably gonna end up playing a shitload of Dungeons and Dragons.

You know how we do. You're retarded.

I know. You be good, all right?

You be good. Mmm.

Bye-bye. Bye.

Hey, hey. Careful, careful.

Get outta here. Come on.

Bye.

This is much better. Okay, girls, so now what?

Let's drink. I don't know. I need a drink.

I could use a drink. You guys want a drink? Or two.

Let's drink. Anyone up for pizza?

Whoa. I can't believe you got the studio to pay for this thing.

Ah, Pockets, this is only the beginning.

In honor of my dear friend Elise's wedding,

I have brought a treat all the way from West Hollywood.

No. No. Yes.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Look what I got.

You're so bad! You are so bad.

Hello? Is this thing on?

I would like to make an announcement, please.

I tried thinking about what to get...

for an interior designer who has a beautiful house...

and everything one could ever want in the whole world.

Is anyone getting married? Yeah? Marriage? Anyone?

No? Oh, wait. Um, me.

Okay. But that means we can have fun tonight.

What is it?

Ew!

Thanks. You're welcome.

Hello.

I'm lookin' at the bottle. Oh!

- Look at this guy. - Whoo!

- Nineteen. Ace.

- Twenty-one!

- That's all right. - Twenty-three.

- Whoo!

Nice! Place your bets.

How much is it?

No, no, no, no, no, no

Me, me, me, me, me, me

No, no, no, no, no, no

Me, me, me, me, me, me

No, no, no, no, no, no

Me, me, me, me, me, me

No, no, no, no, no, no

Me, me, me, me, me, me

No, no, no, no, no, no

Me, me, me, me, me, me

No, no, no, no, no, no

Me, me, me, me, me, me

No, no, no, no, no, no

Me, me, me, me, me, me

Hello. Over here.

I've got green.

No, no, no, no, no, no

Me, me, me, me, me, me

No, no, no, no, no, no

Me, me, me, me, me, me

No, no, no, no, no, no

Me, me, me, me, me, me

No, no, no, no, no, no

My time--

Where are we?

Who am I? Oh, an airplane.

We're going on the airplane again? I'll fly this time.

Ah. Aye, aye.

Whoo. Whoa.

Whoo! Hello, boys!

So--

Ooh. You all right?

Yeah. I just-- Slow down.

I think that they brought... boobs. Boobs.

Yeah, I see boobs. Boobs.

I'm a good fuckin' agent, man.

Look at that dude in that fuckin' cowboy hat.

Dude, I don't wanna argue about semantics. I--

He's my fucking client. I don't wanna get into this shit.

Do you wanna be my client? Don't-- Uh, no.

Hot tub, anybody? What do you want to drink?

Apple juice. Huh? No?

Hey, you. Hey, Sam.

I need your advice. Shoot.

Do you think Pockets is still mad at me?

No. No, I just think he's...

weirded out more than anything.

Hey. Hey.

I didn't see you come in.

I came in around the side. Mmm.

How are you?

Good.

Tired.

Me too.

Trippin' good?

Yeah.

- Drink taste all right? - Sure.

Good.

Now why don't you pull your head out of your ass and go talk to her?

I don't think so, man. Come on, man.

It's time to come to terms.

What are you, Dr. Phil?

Think we could get Mickey Rourke to play the serial killer?

You know, he's almost been down long enough.

I think he might be ready for his second comeback. Hmm?

Speaking of second comebacks--

...so high, man. I know, brother.

Hello, gentlemen. Hello.

Oh, ho! Nice.

Ah.

I'm beat. You are drunk.

Yeah. Yeah, that too.

Off to bed? Okay.

That's an offer I can't refuse.

Good night. Gentlemen. You're all right, man.

All right.

I gotta go talk to a man about an elephant. Yep.

Pockets!

Pockets!

Pockets! Get over here. Come here. What's with you?

Psst. Psst!

Hey. Hey, you.

You, peeing on the bush?

Yeah?

Are you friends with Elise or Michael?

Both. Why?

Can you sneak me in the house?

Can you give me a second?

Okay. That's better. Now, um--

What?

I'm Elise's sister. I'm down here from college.

I came early to surprise her.

Okay. Time-out.

I'm really drunk, okay? So I apologize in advance,

but--

Fuck, you're hot.

- I'm Sarah. - Quentin.

So, uh, do you go to, uh-- Do you go to school? College.

What do you do? I'm an agent.

But I-- I like to bartend,

uh, on the weekends.

You know, to keep me humble.

- Oh! Oh, man. Oh.

You-- You stink like Bob Marley.

What? You smell. Are you high?

The girls indulged. Really?

Yes, as I'm sure you did. No, I did not.

I am too old for drugs now. Yeah, right.

Far too old. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Are you too old for strippers?

'Cause a few of them seem to have followed you home.

I'm a dirty old man. I'm ashamed of myself.

What did you do? Oh, we just ordered some pizza and hung out.

- That's boring. - Sausage pizza?

Really?

That's another story.

You all right?

Yeah.

Cover me, Goose. I'm going in.

I'll be your wingman anytime.

But I have a meeting with my new agents at 9:00 A.M. tomorrow morning.

I think I'm going to catch a cab and call this one short.

All right, man. Ciao. Mmm.

Later.

Oh, yes, yes.

Oh, my God.

Do you want a cigarette? Yes. Please.

Hurry.

What are you thinking about?

I'm just thinking about being best man tomorrow.

What about it?

I think it's kind of a heavy title-- best man.

You know? I'm thinking maybe I'd rather be, like, best guy or...

best kid or best buddy or--

I don't know. Have you mentioned this to Michael?

No. I think he's got enough on his plate as it is...

just going through with this madness.

Madness? What does that mean?

Well, I talked to him earlier, and he seemed pretty shaky...

about the whole thing, you know?

It's just pre-wedding jitters. It sounds pretty standard to me.

Well, yeah, but-- I mean, marriage-- it's--

It's, like, just what's expected of you, you know? It's--

You've been out of college for a while, so the next step is that you get married.

And then the next step after that is that you have kids.

And then the next step after that is that you get old, you get fat and you die.

People don't know what else to do with themselves, so they just take the next step...

- towards the grave. - You think that that's what Michael's doing?

I-- I don't know. Maybe.

You don't-- You don't think he loves Elise? I mean, come on, Rich.

No, I know that he loves Elise. I love Elise.

But, you know, sometimes just being in love with a person...

is not enough reason to marry them.

Why not?

Because it is. 'Cause sometimes love's not enough.

It's more complicated than that.

S-- Sometimes it isn't.

I see you ladies are gettin' to know my good buddy, Pockets.

For you and you.

Okay. Don't worry. He won't bite. Not unless he pays you first.

Wait, wait, wait. What did you just say to me?

"Not unless he pays you first." I hear you're good like that.

Just messin' with you, man. No, how about fuck you?

Fuck me? Fuck you. Yeah, fuck you. You don't know me. Fuck you!

- Whoa! Hey! What the-- - Flavor of the month.

What the fuck? Thanks for the lap dance, girls.

What? What?

- So, you gonna spend the night? - Sure.

All right. Well, I just-- I don't know where you're gonna sleep,

'cause there are no more rooms.

Hmm. Where's your room?

Um, I'm in the gazebo.

I'll follow you.

Okay.

Okay. Can we be serious for one minute here?

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

Are you gonna look at me? I am looking at you.

Now you are.

Look. I love you,

but taking the next step with someone you love is not a death sentence.

I know it's scary. I know it's a risk.

But so is life, you know? And--

I'm not saying that we need to get married tomorrow...

or even a year from now,

but I do want to know that I have a future with you,

and that--

that you can try and give that to me.

That's-- That's what I want.

You understand?

I understand.

Scene outside was kinda weird. Mmm.

Yeah, you get used to it after a while.

So, you and Elise went to college together...

before she transferred back here, right? Mm-hmm.

Well, that-- that probably had to be a lot of fun. Yeah.

- I'm sure she was a real party girl back then. - Oh, yeah. She was crazy.

- We had such good times. - Yeah, so did we.

- You have the most beautiful eyes. - Thank you.

Ladies first.

Thank you. You're welcome.

So, this is it--

the gazebo, in all of its glory.

I like it. It's nice, you know?

It's got a little homey feel to it, and-- It's perfect.

Mmm-- Whoa, whoa-- Wait, wait, wait. Hey--

Just gettin' right down to it?

It's been a really long drive.

Yeah. Okay.

There.

Wait. Wait. Um--

I don't have any condoms.

Can you get some?

Yes, I can.

But I gotta go find Pockets. I'll be right back.

Pockets?

Hi. Hi.

How you doin'? I'm good.

You workin'? That depends.

Well, uh, does $500 get me an answer, by any chance?

$500 will pretty much get you anything you want.

Okay.

Here you go.

So?

L.A.P.D. You're under arrest.

Sorry. Come on. Up against the wall. Shit.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be...

used against you in a court of law.

- What-- What-- - What-- Oh!

Dude! Wha-- What the fuck, man?

- Hi. Do you have any condoms? - Have you ever heard of knocking?

Yeah. Hi, Sam. Do you have any condoms?

- Why didn't you ask Pockets? - Because I can't find Pockets.

Dude, what the fuck?

Look, I've got my balls in my hand, okay?

- Do you have any condoms or not? - Bedside table.

Ew! God!

Get the fuck out of here, man! Get out of here!

Okay. Sorry. Jesus Christ.

Stay strong, brother. Get out of here!

'Cause my favorite, favorite, favorite, favorite,

favorite, favorite movie is--

What the fuck was the name of it?

Hmm?

Lana? Yeah?

You sleepy?

Yeah.

You all right? Yeah.

All right. Good night then.

Yeah.

- Turn to your left.

- Empty your pockets.

Shit, that's a lot of stuff.

Michael, are you awake?

Yeah. Just thinking.

Do you think everything's ready for tomorrow?

Everything's gonna be fine.

Why?

Do you think they liked my salads?

I'm sure they did.

Do you wanna talk?

Not now.

Okay. That's what I thought.

I'll see you in the morning.

Yeah, tomorrow.

- Hi.

How you feelin' there, champ?

I don't know about you, but these pipes are clean. What?

Hi. Oh, my God.

Sarah.

Good morning, boss. How you feeling?

Hey--

Aren't you gonna get that?

No. Answer me first.

Yeah, I'll get it. Hello?

It's Pockets. Pockets, where the fuck are you, man? We're about to eat.

Don't ask questions. Don't say anything.

You're-- Yeah. Jail.

Okay. So listen. I need bail money.

- Yeah. - I need you to come downtown. Got it?

Yeah, all right. Don't say a word.

Yeah. I'm on my way. Bye. Thank you.

- What's wrong? - Nothing.

Don't worry about it, all right? This is your day. Relax.

I just gotta go give Pockets a ride. It's no big deal.

Be back. Save me some food.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. What's goin' on?

Michael, come here.

- What happened?

Well, apparently our buddy Pockets got popped...

for a little, uh, drunk and disorderly behavior last night.

No shit? Yeah. Yeah.

- Badass party boy, that Pockets.

Quentin slept with my little sister.

That's good. Michael--

What? What do you want me to say?

She's 17.

Oh, that's not good. No.

Yeah.

And I was like, "Dude, it's not an ego thing.

I just think if my name was above the title, more people would see the movie."

I mean, what's the point of making art if nobody's gonna see it?

Right?

I found him.

Come on, come on. Hello!

Man, only Pockets Malone would get arrested for public drunkenness.

Man, you just keep on gettin' cooler and cooler.

What can I say, guys?

Hey.

Hi. How's it goin'?

Uh-- Look, man, I'm sorry about last night.

Don't tell anybody, but, uh, I can be a real ass sometimes.

No hard feelings. I didn't know you couldn't swim.

Who knew?

Let's get you some breakfast, you crazy motherfucker. Okay, okay.

Quentin? Can I see you in the kitchen?

Okay. Excuse me. Sure.

Excuse me, ladies.

Hey, man, what's up? Um, just a personal question.

Okay.

Did you sleep with Elise's little sister?

What do you think? I think you did.

Of course I did. She's fuckin' hot.

Well, that may be true, but she's also 17 years old.

Say what?

She's 17.

She didn't fuck like a 17-year-old.

Hey. Hey.

- Can we talk? - Yeah.

Last night was, um--

Amazing. Yeah, it was.

But?

I've never done that before. Oh.

You were really good.

Really? Yeah. Definitely.

And not to sound dramatic or anything like that, but it was really nice.

I haven't felt that way with someone in a really long time.

Well, neither have I.

Are you just playing along 'cause you don't know what else to say?

'Cause I know last night you were pretty drunk, so--

No. I couldn't play anything with this,

because, to be honest, I've never had this before.

Yeah?

So-- I don't know what you want to do.

Well, that's--

That's an extremely difficult question to ask me...

because it takes me, like, an hour to figure out what I want to eat for lunch, so--

I forgot. You don't even know me that well.

I want to get to know you.

Great.

Okay. I have a lot of problems.

So I fuckin' checked him on it.

You did not. Yeah. Checked-- Look. Checked him.

That's fuckin' awesome.

Hey. Hi.

You're 17. No, I'm not.

Seventeen?

So? So?

Now I'm a pedophile. No. I'm the one who jumped on you. Remember?

Yeah, yeah, and I really think a judge is going to appreciate your logic.

Well, I'm not gonna tell anyone. You told your sister.

Yeah, but she's cool.

I thought you said college. I thought you said you were in college--

Well, I skipped a couple grades.

Congratulations.

Well, you know this means we can't see each other now.

Why? Because I don't want to go to prison, that's why.

And because it's wrong. Right?

Well, it didn't feel wrong.

Well, yeah, I know it didn't feel wrong,

but it-- it's-- it's just--

I'm gonna be 18 in October, and I'm transferring to USC.

You are?

Yeah.

Okay. Well, then we'll just-- We'll see each other then.

What about between now and then?

I thought we just went over that.

I won't tell if you won't.

Come on.

- Hello. - Hello.

How are ya? Good.

Come in? Thank you.

What?

Yes?

Lana? Yes?

- Your date is here. - Date?

Oh, my God!

I'm sorry. I'm Michael. I'm the groom. Oh, hey.

Hey. Nice to meet you. Donovan Parker.

Are you-- Yeah, that's me.

Power Time! Hey, this is for you.

Congratulations, man. Thank you.

Yeah, hey-- Thank you.

Have a beautiful wedding, all right?

Thanks. Thanks for coming. No, thanks for having me.

Hey.

Thank you. Lana! My baby!

Hey. Um, I told you not to wear a tux.

Actually, I distinctly remember telling you not to.

I know. I-- I--

But you did. Well, I like 'em.

I can see that. Yeah. Wanna see something funny?

Watch this.

That's great. Okay. See you around.

Okay.

I'll be here.

Okay.

Well, so, have you talked to Rich yet?

We've started. I just have to... let him figure it out for himself.

So what did his face look like when you asked him?

Oh, come on. You know that "deer in the headlights" thing he does?

- Was it that big, really? - It was like-- "Aaah!"

So funny.

- Can I talk to you? - Yeah.

I'm-- I'll... go find Rich.

Thank you for helping.

Oh, my God. Is that you?

Mmm. Yeah, and-- and my mom.

She's beautiful.

Where did you get it? Jonathan left it on the steps.

There's something I have to tell you, Elise.

Michael, you don't have to tell me...

anything that you don't want to tell me. I want to.

Okay.

My family was-- was never a normal one.

I mean, Jonathan wasn't there that much, and, uh, my mother,

who I've... never told you about--

She meant everything to me.

You don't have to tell me. It's okay.

Okay.

On the night of my grandfather's funeral,

my mother found my father in the bathroom with some girl...

with a needle in his arm.

He'd been a user for years,

but she'd sheltered me from it.

And I remember, um,

she yelled at him, and he yelled back,

and then he hit her.

And so I ran in,

and I just started...

beating him because... of everything--

the drugs, hitting my mother, not being there.

And I told her-- I told her, "Don't protect him. He deserves this."

But she did. She loved him.

All the stuff he ever did to her, and--

Anyway, so she tried to push me away and she fell...

and she hit her head.

There was a lot of blood, and I just stood there crying.

She said that we had to get him to the hospital,

and that I was the only one who could drive.

I tried, but it was-- it was really confusing, you know?

It was not like it was real.

I mean, I didn't know what lane we were in. I could have swerved, but I didn't.

I just watched her, and she smiled at me--

even as we hit,

and the car flipped,

and she died.

And my father and I walked away.

Oh, my God.

Come here. Come here.

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry. I didn't know.

You can't blame yourself, sweetie.

I don't blame me. I blame him.

I don't want to.

I'm sorry.

I'm the one who called him.

I told him about this weekend.

I didn't know.

I thought you had to face it.

Michael, what was her name?

Emily.

My mother's name was Emily.

Are you guys ready to go on a journey to Power Land? Huh? Are ya?

Hello. Hey.

It's Power Time!

- Do you get made fun of on a daily basis... - What the fuck is this shit?

'cause you're a tad bit bigger than the rest of the other--

- That's-- That's me. - What are you doin'?

Um, I-- I make these videos, uh, for kids.

What, like the Olsen twins? No.

Um, see, mine-- uh, they-- they teach kids how to stay in shape...

while, um, helping them learn at the same time.

A lot of money in that gig? I do okay.

But, you know, the real reward for me...

is knowing that I've helped influence a kid at a very pivotal point in his life.

- Hmm. - What do you do?

So let's rule your school-- with Power Time!

For real?

Yeah. Like, professionally, what do you--

- I'm an actor. - Get out of here.

No. That's great.

Right now I'm doing a movie with, uh-- with Franklin Brauner.

It's, um-- It's a metaphysical western.

- So you must be really happy then, huh? - Oh, yeah.

Hey. Do you want-- Do you want to talk about it?

Talk about what?

Hey, it's okay.

I know an unhappy face when I see one, mister.

Wait. Who are you again?

How you holdin' up?

- It's been an interesting weekend. - You can say that again.

It's been an interesting weekend.

Look. I just want to know:

Were you ever mad at me? At times, yeah.

Yeah, I thought you were.

I was in love with you.

I know.

But I was really screwed up back then.

Yeah, you were. And I'm still screwed up.

I guess you are.

You know what? So am I.

I think we're probably all screwed up in our own little way.

Well, I never meant to hurt you.

Whatever. I-- Honestly, Lana, I just never understood why.

Well, I never understood why you didn't want to sleep with me that night.

Oh, really? That's interesting, because, you know,

you happened to jump on me while I was passed out drunk and pulled my pants off.

You freaked the living shit out of me. I thought it was my frickin' roommate.

What did you expect me to do? Go with it.

Well, yeah. That would've been nice. You're right.

Except, um,

- I was still a virgin. - What?

Sam, I'm so sorry. I-- I didn't know.

That's all right. How would you know? Right? I never told you, so--

I mean, it was our last night at school,

and I just wanted it to be something, you know, we could remember.

Oh, I remember. I remember.

More like it's permanently burned into my psyche.

Look.

No. You know what?

Ever since we graduated, I've wanted to have this conversation,

and now I just feel like it's been too damn long.

You know? I mean, I've probably come up with every possible outcome...

this conversation could have, and they all suck.

But you wanna know which one really sucks my ass the most? The truth.

So, if you don't mind, I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you right now, okay?

Well, you seem-- Well, thanks. I will.

For four years, I tried to love you, have a relationship--

Whatever it is you wanna call it, okay?

But all I really wanted was-- was just to be with you.

Simple as that. You know? And I'd see you date...

some complete fuckin' asshole one week, and then it was another asshole the next week.

And I knew if you just gave me a chance-- just one chance--

I could have been so much better for you--

so much better to you-- than those guys could've been.

So you wanna know if I was mad at you?

Yeah, I was mad at you, and I'm still mad at you, 'cause you hurt me.

-You just never got it, did you? -Got what? What?

I just always knew that you could do better than me.

What the fuck does that mean? There is no better, Lana. It was you.

I didn't wanna hurt you. I was trying to protect you.

From what? What were you protecting me from? I would've just held you back!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Okay? I'm not sorry, but I'm sorry I just blew up just now.

Yeah, well, make it up to me. Say something nice.

Um-- I hope you figure things out for yourself.

I do.

You know, I think I'm starting to.

Yeah?

Well, that's good. What are you gonna do?

Well, I-- I hear London's nice this time of year.

Yeah?

Hmm?

Wow!

Okay. I sleep with prostitutes.

Michael. Jesus. I wasn't expecting anybody.

Sorry. This place is such a dump.

Michael, I don't know where to begin or what to say to make up--

I just have one question I'd like to ask you.

Would you like to come to a wedding today?

Are you kidding me?

Believe it or not, I actually got a suit in here.

Well, look at you.

Wow. You look great.

You-- You look beautiful.

Thanks. So, what did you do the rest of the afternoon?

Uh, I've been listening to Donovan Parker talk about motivating fat children.

I bet you have.

So, you wanna help button me up? Yeah.

Yeah, he's kinda down there all by himself...

with his apple juice and tuxedo.

It's a little sad.

Oh. That is actually a sight I'd like to see.

Yeah, it's entertaining.

I love you.

And I love you too.

And... I've been thinking about it,

and I decided that that's enough.

I think I was just too afraid to say it before.

So?

So...

I think we should... do it.

I wanna do it.

Do it. Do it.

Wow. You have no idea...

how glad I am you just said that. Yeah. Me too. Me too.

Yeah, but... you're not pregnant.

Rich?

Rich?

So you and Sam worked it out, huh?

Yeah. We, uh-- We worked it out. Yeah.

Congratulations, man. Thanks, man.

Yeah. So this is it.

Are you ready? As ready as I'll ever be.

You look beautiful. Thank you.

- Everything's gonna be-- - Beautiful.

Have you got the ring? Yeah. Right here.

All right.

All right. So I guess this is it, huh?

Deep breaths.

Don't fidget around so much. Stand still.

It'll all be over soon.

No, it's just about to begin.

All right.

On my way

On my way

On my way

On my way

On my way

On my way

On my way

Ooh, la, la, la, la