Original subtitles

Oh, my.

Oh, my.

Oh, my.

Where was this happening?

Robert E. Lee Park. I was on the roof across the way.

What if some small child or anybody walked by?

I know.

That one's good. You can see his face so clearly.

Well, I never.

No?

I mean... Ben?

Out here.

Hi. Cliff here?

Hi, Billy. Cliff's out for a run.

That's all he ever does anymore is exercise.

Friends of yours?

Surveillance photos.

Ben, you shouldn't be looking at pictures like that.

A man your age.

What about my age?

Well, I heard a man your age look at something like that,

he's liable to keel right over, heart attack.

What about your age?

Oh, well, I...

I look at them scientifically. Ha, ha.

- They don't affect me. - Ah.

- What'd you come over here for? - Borrow your car.

Mine's in the shop.

I gotta get down to my stockbroker's. It's an emergency.

Every stock I bought has split.

Broker's never seen anything like it.

I keep having to go down there and sign stuff

so he can keep rolling over my money.

Yeah, okay.

- Got gas in it? - Eh.

- Oh, hey, Pop. - Good Lord.

You look like you fell in a water hole.

- Hi, Cliff. - Hi, everyone.

Hey, I have an announcement to make.

You may have noticed that I've been doing a lot of running

and biking and swimming.

- Oh, thank you. - No, you're dripping on the floor.

Oh, I'm sorry. Uh...

Anyway, there's a triathlon up in Wilmington next week,

and I've entered it.

Good for you, Cliff.

Yeah. Anyway, it's something

I wanted to do, and I'm gonna do it.

And it would mean an awful lot to me to have you all there,

to, you know, cheer me on.

Well, are you sure, Cliff?

I mean, a lot of strong people enter those things.

Yeah.

Are you saying my boy can't do it?

- Well, I didn't say that, I... - But you're thinking it, aren't you?

Well...

- I'll be there, son. - Oh, yeah.

And if you want Ben and Jerri, they'll be there too.

Okay, thanks, Pop.

I'll rent us a nice big house on the beach

with daily maid service and our own cook, huh?

I'm in.

I'll even spring for the plane tickets.

I'll rent the car

and buy all the groceries.

You won't have to pay for a thing.

Okay.

Two, three, four.

Again, one, two, three, four.

Good.

So you have that wonderful gym

and playroom downstairs.

And adjacent to the family room, we have the kitchen.

With all the amenities you could possibly ask for

and a view to die for.

- We'll take it. - Good.

Well, Billy, you didn't find out how much.

Oh, yeah.

What kind of rent are we talking about?

Four thousand, five hundred dollars a month.

Which includes all utilities,

plus the usual $500 damage deposit.

We'll take it.

But we're only gonna be here a week.

What kind of rent are we talking about by the week?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'd still have to charge you for the full month.

That's all right, we'll take it.

Billy...

Ben, I like this place. It gives me good vibes.

Vibes?

Yeah, you know, vibes.

Now, if you wanna know the truth,

so does she.

- Miss Montrose. - Yes?

- Personal check okay? - Great.

I think you've made a very wise choice.

- Oh, thank you. Ha-ha-ha. - Please.

Oh, isn't that cute.

Look, there's a little peach tree on it.

I'm kind of partial to plant life.

I used to be a farmer.

Really?

- You wanna go for a walk? - Yeah, they say five's a crowd.

Cliff, you wanna join us?

No, no. I'm gonna unpack the bike, go for a ride. I'll see you all later.

Have a good time.

- Come on, I'll race you. - Yeah.

- You want some? - Huh?

No.

Reduces your risk of premature aging and skin cancer.

Yeah. Five years from now, they're gonna come out with a study

- says that stuff gives you cancer. - Ha-ha-ha.

What do you think? To the pier and back?

Let's hit it.

- It's nice. - Yeah.

I can't remember when I've taken a trip that I had nothing to do.

- Ha. It's good to have nothing to do. - Yeah.

And it's great that Cliff is doing this triathlon.

I hope it works out.

The boy's been known to sprain his ankle

- running for the phone. - Ha-ha-ha.

He's gonna do it. It'll be good for him.

Good for his body and good for his mind.

You ever done stuff like that?

- Damn. - Ha-ha-ha.

- Good for the body, good for the mind. - Yeah.

Well, I'll be.

What?

- Well, I'll be. - What?

Ed?

Hello, Ben.

What you doing?

Go down to the water.

I'll meet you there.

You stay here.

Who's that?

Ed Wingate, an FBI agent I represented once.

Who's the babe?

My investigator.

What's going on?

You two.

Stop the roughhousing before somebody gets hurt.

Are you a lifeguard?

I'm undercover.

Your Christmas card said you retired.

Just a little unfinished business.

It was nice seeing you, Ben.

But in the future, if you see me,

pretend you didn't.

Oh, it's a hot one, huh?

- Hey, Cliff. - Ooh.

- What happened? - Oh, uh, I had a little fall. No big deal.

Ooh, that's nasty. Where did you do it?

Uh, out on a steep grade.

Here you go, son.

This'll fix you up like new.

Lucky you were in the driveway when you fell.

Here, let me help you with that.

So, uh, how was your walk?

- Guess who's here. - Who?

- Ed Wingate. - No.

- What's he doing here? - He's undercover.

- Did he have on the sunglasses? - That's how I recognized him.

What is the deal with this Ed Wingate guy?

Oh, well, he's, um...

- He's indescribable. - Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.

Ha-ha-ha. Ow!

- Oh, sorry. - Hey, shh. Hold it down.

Hello, Anita?

It's Billy.

Billy.

Billy Lewis.

The guy you just rented the house to.

Yeah.

Well, actually, there is a problem.

Uh, the toilets won't flush.

Yeah, you hit the little handle and it just sort of swirls around,

doesn't go anywhere.

Oh, you don't have to do that.

Well, maybe you're right. It's a good idea.

Yeah. I'll see you then.

Bye.

She's, uh, sending a plumber over, and then she's coming out herself.

There's nothing wrong with the toilets, Pop.

I know.

Billy, she's not gonna wanna see you when she finds out

she's come all the way out here for nothing.

Ben, when she gets out here,

I'm gonna tell her I fixed the toilets all by myself.

Well, Billy...

Eh. I've still got it, don't I? Ha-ha-ha.

Are you okay?

You okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so.

I'm so sorry. It's all my fault, drifting out in front of you like that.

- I am so sorry. - Oh, no, no, no.

It wasn't entirely your fault.

After all, I was moving at a rate of speed

that could only be described as...

Well, pushing open the envelope.

- You're here for the triathlon? - Well, yes, I am.

Oh, no, now I've ruined it for you.

Oh, no, no. No, this is just a little road rash.

Look, my car's right over there. Maybe I should take you

- to an emergency room. - No, no, no, I'm fine.

Let me at least give you a lift back to your hotel.

You know, you really should take a hot bath.

The best way to get the grit out of those scrapes is to soak it out.

You sound like a nurse.

Actually, I'm a stockbroker. Kathy Bridges.

Oh. Ted Winston, molecular biochemist.

- Aah, ow. - Oh!

Oh, that's all right.

Here. You know how to tie a line off to a cleat?

- Of course I do. - Good. Glad somebody does.

How was the trip?

Please, boats make passages, not trips.

Jeez, Thomas, what kind of barbarian are you?

- So how was the passage? - Lousy.

I'm driving home, I can tell you that right now.

Spent the whole time feeding the fishes.

Gotta do something about that stomach, Ronerino.

Yeah, look who's talking. Heads up there.

No, thanks. I brought my own.

His body's a temple, you remember?

Just stay downwind of me with that thing, will you?

Well, hail, hail, the gang's all here. So, what's the word, Thomas?

How's everything look to you two triathlon-ites?

Well, you'd be amazed how informative people can be

when they think you're just a tourist.

Gentlemen, we're gonna be very rich.

One small problem notwithstanding.

- Well, what's the problem? - Ed Wingate's here.

You're kidding me, right?

- I thought you said he retired. - There's no need to panic.

It might just be a coincidence.

In any case, I'm on top of it so don't worry.

- How's that feel? - Oh, it's great. Thanks.

- You were right. - Just sit back

and let that heat penetrate those tight muscles of yours.

There's this great Chinese restaurant takeout down the street.

What do you like? I'll go get you something.

Oh, no, no. You don't have to do that.

I know, but I want to.

It'd make me feel better. Please?

They have great chicken chow mein.

All right, but tell them to hold the MSG.

- Well, how about some ribs? - No, I prefer carbohydrates.

Sixty-five percent of the calories in pork ribs

are derived from fat.

I like to maintain a body count level at about 11 percent,

just to hedge against disease, you know?

No problem.

Okay. Now the only question is,

- when do we make our move? - Soon, I hope.

Well, actually, I have a little plan if we have to distract Ed Wingate.

Well, that's the understatement of the year.

- Hello? - Oh. Come on up.

Watch your step.

Not that I'm complaining, but who the hell is she?

Kathy Bridges, Dennis Lamont.

That's Ron Jaffe.

Of course, you know Al.

Kathy's an old friend of mine from Raleigh.

She's been researching our little problem, Ed Wingate.

He's been taking pictures of you and Al.

Damn. That's to prove we're here and up to something.

What's this guy's problem? The rest of the FBI blew us off years ago.

Yeah, I thought you said Eddie'd retired.

Okay, hey, we can handle this.

You think he's onto you?

No, to him I'm just a nice little local girl who can't ride a bike.

Okay, like I said, we can handle this.

It's just gonna take a little more time, that's all.

Woo-hoo! Billy!

So you fixed them all yourself?

Yeah.

What about the plumber I sent over?

Didn't have to do a thing.

Oh, don't worry, I paid him for coming out.

Well, I guess that takes care of everything then.

Well, actually, uh...

I was wondering, I mean, as long as you're here,

later maybe we...

Ah, Mr. Matlock. Hello.

Oh, hello again, Mrs. Montrose.

Or is it Miss Montrose?

It's Anita. I'm widowed.

So to tell you the truth, I'm not sure what my last name is anymore.

Oh, ha-ha-ha.

- How do you like the house? - Oh, it's just, uh...

Uh, it's, uh, perfect. Just perfect.

Excuse me, I'm... The phone.

Sure.

He's always on the phone.

Work, work, work. That's all he ever does.

Now, me, I, uh...

Heh. I like to stop and smell the roses every chance I get.

That and fix toilets.

- Billy? Heh. - Yeah.

I'm just being nice,

and he thinks I'm trying to steal his woman.

It's not good for you.

I don't care.

A person gets to have a little fun.

- Cliff out on his bike? - Yep.

You know, I was wondering something.

- What? - Well, I probably

shouldn't say anything about it, but, you know,

Cliff hadn't had a lot of luck with girls lately.

And Cliff, like his father, is unusual and complicated.

I just wonder if he's doing this triathlon for himself

or to, uh, impress you.

Oh, I don't think so.

I explained to Cliff

that I recently broke up with somebody,

and I don't wanna get involved with anybody yet.

- We have an understanding. - Hm.

Maybe he doesn't understand the understanding.

I just asked Anita to dinner, and she accepted.

- Hey. - Hey, have fun.

Too bad, Ben.

I guess the better man won.

Hi, Ed.

It's not me.

Okay.

How did you know it was me?

Like any mother knows her children, Ed.

All right, follow me, but, uh, keep reading your newspaper.

Why are you limping?

You're very observant. You would've made a fine FBI agent.

No, I don't like to wear dresses.

Well, cross-dressing is almost a lost art.

I don't really enjoy it myself, but when duty compels me,

I must admit in all modesty

that I usually achieve spectacular results.

That's because you've got nice legs.

Thank you.

Can I ask you something personal?

Ask away.

What's the matter with you?

You gotta be more specific.

Well, you're retired.

You had a fine career with the FBI.

Why are you down here running around

after would-be, could-be, might-be bank robbers?

You ought to be out playing horseshoes or fishing.

I hate horseshoes.

You know what I mean.

Ben, you know who my hero was when I was growing up?

No.

Robert Stack as Elliot Ness in The Untouchables.

I used to say to my mom... I'd say:

"Virginia, when I grow up, I wanna be a G-man."

You called your mother Virginia?

That was her name.

You want some coffee?

I'm buying.

Huh.

Thanks.

Turn your back to me.

Okay, dude, I want two coffees, black.

And a bear claw.

Hey, Ed, the bear claw.

Ed, you there?

I'm slipping, Ben.

I'm losing my edge.

Been out to pasture too long.

What are you talking about?

From now on, you really don't know me.

That is a huge bear claw.

That'll be 2.45, sir.

Come on, get it! Get it, get it, get it!

Okay, one more mile. You can do it.

All right.

- You got it. - Ready?

- What's up? - Ed Wingate called.

He left a message asking me to meet him for drinks.

- What do you want me to do? - Go.

- See you later. - All right, see you.

- Hi. - Hello again.

I wanted to thank you again for what you did for me yesterday.

Oh, I was happy to do it.

- I got your message. - So I see.

- What will you have to drink? - Whatever you're having is fine.

So how are you? Still pretty sore?

Oh, no, no, I'm fine.

Matter of fact, I did a little sightseeing today.

- Good for you. Where'd you go? - Everywhere.

Everywhere you went.

- Excuse me? - You're messing with the FBI.

FBI? What are you talking about?

Did you tell Thomas Crighton I'd been following him, taking pictures of him?

Who?

This guy. Thomas Crighton.

I saw you talking to him

in the parking lot at the beach this morning.

He's just somebody I met at a bar a couple nights ago.

I barely know him. Not that it's any of your business.

Look, I gotta tell you,

I don't like the idea of you following me one bit.

Give it up, Kathy. I'm onto you.

The key gave you away.

- What key? - The one to my briefcase.

I keep it in my left pants pocket. Always.

This morning, it was in my right pants pocket.

You put in in the wrong pants pocket after you went through my briefcase.

- That does it. You are wacko. - Please.

- Let go of me. - Sit down.

What is Thomas Crighton doing here?

I don't know.

He said he was here for the triathlon. That hurts!

All right.

Crighton's onto me, thanks to you.

So I want you to tell him that this time,

I'm going to get him.

Just stay away from me, you nutcase!

Yeah, it's Ron.

I went to the bar to keep an eye on things like you said.

Hold on a minute.

I gotta tell you, I think we got problems.

- Hi, Cliff. - Hey, Ben.

What you eating?

Dinner.

That's pure starch.

These are carbohydrates.

Nobody calls this starch anymore. I'm carbo-loading.

That's what athletes do before a big race.

- They, you know, store up energy. - Ah.

You remember that time that you took that 10-mile run?

- Yeah. - Remember what happened after?

I threw up.

But I'm only running 6 miles this time.

And swim a mile and a half and ride a bike 25 miles.

You're gonna throw up again.

Well, so, what if I do? So what?

I'm sure other people will too.

Why do you do that to yourself?

Well, I set a goal, and I'm gonna achieve it.

Everyone should challenge themselves once in a while.

- It's good for the soul. - Hi, Ed.

I wish you wouldn't...

How'd you get in here?

Apparently you've forgotten.

- I am the wind. - You are the wind.

I know you've defended several other cases here in Wilmington.

And as a result, you're acquainted with the local police.

I want you to take them this glass.

Have them lift any and all fingerprints and run it through their computer.

And when they ask why?

Make up something.

You were with the FBI. Have their lab do it.

Number one, in case you've forgotten,

I wasn't exactly liked by my colleagues.

And number two, my erstwhile employers do tend to frown

upon unauthorized investigations.

Well, I don't know, Ed.

It seems to me if I'm gonna do you a favor,

the least you could do is tell me what...

He's gone.

He's the wind.

Our Father, we thank you

for bringing us together in this place

and for granting us the benediction of your weather.

Bless these athletes in their endeavor

and let them complete their course in safety

and in the spirit of good competition.

All of which we ask in your holy name. Amen.

Two minutes. The race will begin in two minutes.

All contestants should be in the starting area.

So, Al, what do you say we make this interesting?

Two hundred bucks says I finish before you do.

- Two thousand bucks says I do. - Oh.

You're on.

You shouldn't drink so much water before you start. You might drown.

One minute. The race will begin in one minute.

All contestants to the starting area immediately.

- Well, that's me. - Yeah.

- Wish me luck. - Good luck.

- Thanks. Okay. - Good luck, tiger. Go get them.

Would Ben Matlock please report to the official's table?

Ben Matlock, to the official's table, please.

That's you.

Yeah. Wonder what they want.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,

five, four, three, two, one.

I immediately called the locals who questioned me

for the better part of the night and then let me go.

They didn't arrest me until they talked to the people

who were at the bar where she and I had drinks yesterday.

"All four witnesses indicate

that Miss Bridges tried to leave the table."

I reseated her.

"And that an argument between Mr. Wingate and Miss Bridges ensued.

Three out of four recall seeing Mr. Wingate apply physical force

to keep her at the table."

I applied an FBI-sanctioned restraint and twisted a little.

What about the motel maintenance man?

What about him?

"Who, while repairing the ice machine at around 8:15 p.m.,

saw Mr. Wingate entering room number 5 with a woman

who appeared to be extremely intoxicated."

Obviously he saw the real killer dump the body

and just assumed it was me.

Well, the DA thinks that he can convince the jury

that you strangled Kathy Bridges to death.

Surely you can convince a jury that that is ridiculous.

Not if you don't tell me what's going on, I can't.

Seventeen, 18,

nineteen, 20.

You're looking good, baby! Come on!

Twenty-one minutes.

- All right. - Looking good. Keep it up.

Twenty-four.

All right, looking good. Keep it up.

Twenty-five, 26.

All right, showers down there to your right.

- Go, go. - Hey.

We're at 21:20.

- Looking good. - Go, go, go.

All racers, watch out for bikes

in the transition area.

Remember you must have your...

- Where you been? - Oh, I was just pacing myself.

This is gonna be so easy, I almost feel guilty.

Yeah, the race is young, Al.

- Yeah, we'll see. - Yeah.

Moving out in an orderly fashion.

Well, might as well relax. He's gonna be a while.

Yeah.

Let's go down to the dock. Maybe we can catch him there.

Okay.

Four years ago, down in Charleston, there was an armored car robbery.

Seven million dollars in cash was stolen.

The FBI investigated, as did local authorities,

but no arrests were ever made, and the money was never recovered.

I eventually figured out who did it.

But unfortunately, I was never able to prove anything.

And, consequently, the perpetrators went free,

and the case was entered on the books as unsolved.

- You didn't like that, I guess. - I hated it.

But there was nothing I could do about it.

Until about a month ago.

What happened a month ago?

I learned that the man who masterminded the heist

about four years ago, Thomas Crighton,

was coming up here to participate in the triathlon.

Then I found out that his partner, Al Ducow, was in the race too.

Been following them since the day they arrived.

Why?

Because they're gonna pull another heist.

Only this time, I'm gonna nail them.

Ed, you're re...

Why don't you just be retired?

Once an instrument of justice, always an instrument of justice.

Hmm.

Well, what makes you think there's gonna be a heist?

Three days ago,

Thomas Crighton's other two accomplices sailed into town.

They're all here, Ben.

Now, something big is about to go down.

Mark my words.

What's, uh, Kathy Bridges got to do with it?

Thomas Crighton must've suspected that I was on his tail,

and so he hired her to find out how much I knew.

Those were her fingerprints on the glass I gave you.

- Did you ever give those to the police? - She's from Raleigh.

She has a rap sheet. Nothing important.

You realize the DA's gonna find out that I asked the police

to run a check on her, and he's gonna wanna ask questions.

And, uh, after he figures out

that she was working for Thomas Crighton,

he'll turn it into some kind of motive.

Yeah.

This isn't going to be the no-brainer it was supposed to be, is it?

No.

Cliff. We thought you'd drowned.

- How you feeling, son? - You did it.

I feel good. I feel really good.

My legs are a little wobbly. I haven't been on dry land for a while.

Can't even tell if they're moving.

Are they moving?

Yeah, they're moving, they're moving.

I've had it. You never told me it was gonna be like this. I'm out of here.

- Where are you going? - For a walk somewhere

- where the ground don't move. - Yeah, well, try L.A.

I spend one more minute on this, I'm going stark raving bonkers.

Well, you know what your problem is, son? You don't drink enough.

Hey.

You're Ron Jaffe and you're Dennis Lamont, right?

Well, yeah.

- What can I do for you? - I'm Ben Matlock.

- Mind if I come aboard? - Well, sure, sure.

Now, how do you know who we are?

I've been talking to Ed Wingate.

Ed Wingate. Huh. Ha.

- Why does that name ring a bell? - He's an FBI agent.

He's been trying to pin that robbery down in Charleston on you.

Oh, Ed. Yeah, Eddie, the lunatic.

What's he to you?

Uh, he's my client.

He's been charged with murdering Kathy Bridges,

and I'm representing him.

I understand that she used to work for your pal, Thomas Crighton.

Well, I thought he said he met her in a bar.

No. She worked for him.

Hi, guys.

Ed, what are you doing here?

Well, I thought I should come say hello to the boys.

Why don't you get off my boat?

Dennis, is that any way to treat an old friend?

I said leave.

Let's go, Ed. This is no place for both of us.

Wait a minute.

I just wanted you to know that I'm gonna be on you like a shirt.

One of you killed Kathy Bridges and framed me for murder.

I said, get off my boat now!

As I was saying,

this time I'm going to get you.

Let's go.

That was smart, Ed. Real smart.

All contestants, be careful of water

coming into the transition area.

Careful with the bikes in the transition area.

Make sure your numbers are on the front.

Where is he?

All the numbers on the front of your body.

Everybody, be careful of water in the transition area.

On your left.

On your right.

All placers, please watch the water

in the transition area.

Billy?

Anita. Ha, ha.

Mm.

I was showing a house a couple blocks away,

so I thought I'd just stop by and watch for a little while

- before my next appointment. - Yeah.

Hi, Jerri.

- Hi, Anita, how are you? - How are you?

You're wearing the necklace I bought you last night.

Well, I couldn't very well wear the blender.

He bought you a blender?

Yeah, so we could make margaritas on the beach.

- Or anywhere. - Or anywhere, yeah. Ha, ha.

Speaking of that, I was wondering if later maybe today...

There he is!

Oh.

Hey. Ha-ha-ha.

Yippee!

- Hi, Cliff. - Hey.

- How are you doing? - Doing real good.

- Oh, good. - Feeling pretty good.

Hey, Pop.

Right here, son. Anita's here too.

- Hi, Cliff. - Hey, Anita.

- Will you all do me a favor? - Sure, what?

Catch me.

- Come on. - Here we go!

- All right. - Hey.

- Yeah. - All right!

Al!

Here you go, man.

You look like you could use a drink.

Still trying to figure out

where I'm gonna spend that extra 2 grand.

- Still got 3 miles to go, buddy-boy. - Yeah. Catch me.

Excuse me.

- Excuse me. - Hey, why don't you watch

- where you're going? - I'm sorry.

- Jerk. - Excuse me.

- Ben, where you been? - I'll tell you later.

- Where's...? Where's Cliff? - He's coming right now.

He's still on his feet.

He's gonna need some water.

- He looks awful. - That's my boy.

Let's hear it for the annual Wilmington triathlon.

Finishers are coming down. It's a pretty close race here.

Give them a round of applause.

Who's gonna come across the line first?

It's number 67.

All right, everybody, let's hear it!

- Let's give a round of applause. - We should see him soon.

Come on, let's hear it.

- You okay, Al? - Yeah.

Feel a little lightheaded, that's all. You go ahead.

No, no, no, we'll cross together.

No, no, I can afford to lose the bet, Tom.

Nobody loses today.

Come on. I'm gonna get you in the shade.

All right.

We've got good times today.

All right, looking good.

Number 85 coming down the home stretch.

All right, let's go! Let's go!

Let's keep it up, number 7.

There he is.

Now, that last bend. Let's give number 7 a big hand.

Big round of applause. He's gonna make it, folks.

He's gonna make it.

Oh, you did it, Cliff. You actually, honestly did it.

- I knew I could. I knew I could. - I'm proud of you, son.

You gonna throw up?

No, not right now. Although I can't rule it out entirely.

Here, put this around you.

Cool you off.

How do you feel?

- Not very good. - Doctor.

Somebody get a doctor over here!

- What happened? - He just collapsed.

- I think he had a heart attack. - Okay.

- Easy. - Al?

- Can you hear me? - Is he gonna be all right?

I don't know, sir.

- He's not breathing. - Come on, Al.

So Ed Wingate thinks this Crighton guy killed her?

Well, one of the three of them.

And they framed Ed to get him out of the way.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

He thinks they're gonna pull off another heist.

He still in jail?

No, I bailed him out.

He promised me he'd stay home and behave himself,

and the next thing I know, he's down at the marina

and in a fight with Dennis Lamont.

Well, he doesn't really seem like the type

who can stay out of trouble.

Come on, sit down.

No. No, I can't.

My heinie's a little sore from all the bike riding.

Cliff, why don't you take a walk?

It'll help keep your legs from stiffening up.

I can't. My thighs are all chafed from all the running I did.

- Well, lie down somewhere. - I can't.

I sleep on my right side, and that's the side I fell on.

Oh, my gosh.

She can't be here already.

- Who? - Anita.

I asked her to come over. She's bringing the blender.

She's bringing what?

Margaritas.

Well, if you're just gonna stand there, at least put on a clean shirt.

Jerri, get the door, will you? I gotta straighten up here.

Okay.

Be right there, Anita.

Hello, darling. And how are we all today?

Whatever you got, I don't want any. Relax, Billy, it isn't her!

Ed Wingate, FBI.

Just smile along and let me in.

Gentlemen, I believe you know this person.

Hello, Ed.

What are you doing? You gave me your word.

Surely you didn't believe me.

- Why are you dressed like that? - They may be watching.

Who might be watching?

You don't need to know that yet.

Al Ducow is dead.

Yeah, they were giving him CPR when we left.

Couldn't revive him. Apparent heart attack.

See? People die from triathlons.

And that man wasn't much older than you.

Did you throw up yet?

No, I feel a lot better. Don't talk to me like that.

I believe that Thomas Crighton is responsible for his death.

- Why do you say that? - Al Ducow was 34,

didn't drink, didn't smoke, was genetically sound,

and had a cholesterol level of 128.

Not exactly heart attack material.

It doesn't make sense.

If Thomas Crighton was gonna pull off a robbery,

why would he kill somebody that was gonna help him?

I haven't figured that out yet, Ben.

But, uh, I do know this.

On Friday morning, $6 million will be delivered

to the Security Central Bank,

and they are going to hit it.

Mark my words.

Did you check out Kathy Bridges' hotel room yet?

- I'm gonna do it right now. - Good.

I'll be in touch.

You better see me to the door.

Your slip's showing.

Thanks.

Strange.

Got nice legs, though.

How long's the hotel gonna keep her clothes?

I don't know. They can't find anybody to send it to.

If Kathy had any friends or relatives, nobody wants to step up.

This Ed Wingate, was he really an FBI agent?

One of the best.

Is he married?

Well, being an instrument of justice has always kept him too busy.

You interested?

Wears too much mascara.

What's this?

"Redbird 208."

I don't get it. How could Al have a heart attack?

He was the healthiest person I've ever seen.

Yeah, well, these things happen. I mean, remember Jim Fixx?

I can't believe AI's gone.

And so is Kathy Bridges.

Yeah, well, police picked up Agent Wingate.

Somehow I thought maybe one of you two might know something about it.

Hey, you're the one she was buddies with.

That's right, we were friends. Why would I kill her?

Well, well, Mr. Matlock.

Hi.

I'm Ben Matlock.

You're Thomas Crighton. Nice to meet you.

I understand you're kind of the ringleader around here.

Excuse me?

Yeah, Mr. Matlock is, uh, Ed Wingate's attorney.

You remember Eddie Wingate, don't you? That lunatic from the FBI?

Well, I wouldn't call him a lunatic.

After all, he was smart enough to figure out

it was you that beat the alarm on that armored car heist

in Charleston four years ago.

And Mr. Jaffe drove the getaway vehicle,

and Al Ducow jumped down into the garage

where the car was parked.

Terrible thing that happened to Mr. Ducow.

Yes, it is.

Yeah, Mr. Matlock came by earlier. He was asking about, uh, Kathy Bridges.

Of course I told him you met her at that bar.

That's right. I met her a couple of nights ago.

I barely knew her.

So before a couple of days ago, you never spoke to her?

- That's right. - Well, that's odd. I, uh...

I found this piece of paper in her room.

That's your motel and room number, isn't it?

Yeah, well, I may be staying at the Redbird,

but that's not my room number.

But it was. You moved a week ago, remember?

You must have known her longer than two days.

You just lied to me. Why?

I didn't lie. I just forgot.

I mean, I guess I did know her a week ago.

You know, Mr. Matlock, uh, instead of letting your client suck you

into the same old wild goose chase he's been on for the last four years,

maybe you might better go down and talk to the FBI.

They'll be able to fill in you on old Agent Eddie Wingate

and that hyperactive imagination of his.

And don't be surprised if they use the word lunatic too.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Ed's full of surprises.

Well, uh, nice to meet you, and I'll see you around.

It's so sweet of you to bring me here.

- Been here before? - Couple of times.

It's expensive.

The food is fabulous.

Oh, well, order whatever you want. Don't worry about the cost.

What's money for anyway?

You'd think at these prices, though,

they could afford a few decent light bulbs in here.

That's atmosphere, Billy.

Oh.

It is so quiet and beautiful here.

It reminds me of Lake Como.

Is that around here?

Hmm?

No.

Lake Como's in Italy.

It's one of my favorite places in the entire world.

I love the way you talk.

You know what you are?

- No. - You are the cat's meow.

Oh, heh.

Wow.

When it's peach pickin' time in Georgia

Apple pickin' time in Tennessee

Ben, must you do that in here?

Cotton pickin' time in Mississippi

- Everybody picks on me - Everybody picks on me

- When it's roundup time in Texas - When it's roundup time in Texas

- The boys all make whoopee - The boys all make whoopee

- Way down south in Alabama - Way down south in Alabama

- It's gal pickin' time for me - It's gal pickin' time for me

I hope the preacher knows His business

- I know he can't fool me - I know he can't fool me

When it's peach pickin' time In Georgia

- It's gal pickin' time for me - It's gal pickin' time for me

Jerri? Jerri?

Jerri?

What?

Haven't I suffered enough?

Even that caterwauling of yours sounds good to me tonight, Ben.

That's how good a mood I'm in.

Where'd you go?

The Marina Club.

Spent $235.

On dinner?

Had lobster and champagne.

She likes this real expensive Don...

Somebody stuff.

- So you had fun? - Fun? Ah.

Soft organ music, a wandering accordion,

low mood lights,

and Anita.

I gotta get to bed and dream. Ha-ha-ha.

I'm chartering a boat tomorrow to take her fishing.

And soon maybe I'll be taking her to Lake Como.

That's nice. Is that around here?

It's in Italy, Cliff. Italy.

Near Paris.

Nita Juanita

Did he just say he's taking her to Europe?

Yes, he's taking her... Don't. Stop laughing.

It's not funny. Now I'm really worried.

- About what? - About what?

He's only known her a week. He's flashing his money around.

Champagne dinners, trips to Europe.

I'll tell you, this is the kind of thing that could leave him high and dry.

And alone.

Hmm. It's happened before.

Cliff, your dad's old enough to take care of himself.

Oh, Pop.

When you were poor, life was so much simpler.

Maybe it will be again.

I gotta talk to him.

- Oh. - Thanks.

Oh, you're looking for jacks.

I needed that.

Okay, you gotta help me with this.

Cliff, I don't know how I feel about this.

Gin.

Ben, you brought it up in the first place.

I didn't bring it up. You brought it up.

Maybe she likes Billy because he's Billy.

Might be far-fetched, but it could happen.

Okay, here he comes. Would you just help me?

Help me, please.

Let me linger by your side Hi. Hi, Pop.

Can I talk to you for one second?

I can't. Sun, moon and tide wait for no man.

This will just take a second.

What's the matter with you? You look like somebody died.

Um...

- Billy, why don't you sit down? - I don't have time.

Going over to Anita's.

She's cooking up the fish we caught this morning.

Sit down, Pop.

Sit down, Pop.

What the heck's going on?

Um...

Uh... Well, uh, Cliff...

Uh... We, um...

We're concerned about you.

Why? I feel great.

Well, actually, uh, we're more concerned about Anita.

Nothing wrong with her either.

What you see, it's all her.

Hair, teeth.

I asked.

You didn't know her a week ago.

Now you're talking about taking her to Europe.

What about all those expensive gifts you've been buying her?

Buying stuff and going places is what money's for.

What do you want me to do? Hoard it like Mr. Skinflint over here?

Look, how about we say

that you just go a little slower?

You know, get to know the real her. Do things that don't cost any money.

Go for walks, canoe rides.

Think about what might be going on here.

You're saying Anita's a gold digger?

- No... - Mind your own business, Clifford.

Ben?

Billy, don't get mad.

I get it. You started this.

I didn't start anything.

You're doing this because you're jealous.

- I'm not jealous. - I got something you don't.

I got a girl. You ain't got a girl.

And that's what it is, Benny Boy. You're jealous.

You want my girl? You ain't gonna get my girl.

You know why?

Because I'm the cat's meow.

- Hey, Ben. - Aah!

I wish you wouldn't do that.

- They're gonna hit the bank. - What?

These prove it.

Took them yesterday morning.

When they were casing the bank, I was casing them.

- Don't prove anything. - Oh, no?

That is the security box that he's checking out.

And Thomas Crighton told the motel that he'd be leaving tomorrow,

and Lamont has to have his boat out of the marina by noon.

That still doesn't prove anything. What are you doing?

I'm sketching a rough blueprint of the bank.

I walked through as much of it as I could yesterday,

committed it to my photographic memory.

It's crude, but it should enable me

to, uh, figure out where to position everyone.

What do mean?

I mean that it is time for you to call the police.

I'm not calling the police.

The money is due to arrive at the bank at 10:30 tomorrow morning.

Now, I believe that they will make their move

while they're transferring it into the vault.

You believe. That's no proof.

Ben, the proof is in the pudding.

The proof is...

What the hell does that mean?

It means that I'm not wrong about this,

and you must call the police.

On one condition.

Give me your word that you'll be nowhere near that bank

when this thing goes down.

You're not serious.

I got to have your word.

All right. All right.

You have my word.

How many cops are there?

- Well, all the tellers. I guess 20. - Oh.

There's the guy that drives the getaway car.

Hi.

And here comes the money.

- Clear? - Yeah, it's clear.

Let's do this.

Ah... Uh... See that guy over there?

- Yeah. - I mean, do you see him?

- Get him out of here. - All right.

Hey, Charlie, how are you doing?

Just fine, thank you.

Hey, I've got some cans for you over here.

Shh, shh, shh.

Okay.

You know, Ben's really ticked off at you.

I couldn't help myself.

Well, no harm done.

Look, you probably wanna stay here, so I'll see you later.

Oh, no, no, no. You're going back to the motel.

And to make sure, I'm going with you.

And don't try any of your crazy schemes, all right?

No funny business. Come on.

No, no, no. Ed, no, no, no.

I just wanna see something.

I don't think this is a good idea. I don't even know what you're doing.

Think about this.

Ron Jaffe walks into a bank he doesn't have an account in.

He walks around, and then he leaves.

What does that mean?

It means that we're about to do something really stupid.

- Ben's gonna get really mad at me. - Oh, Ben'll be fine.

He's not gonna be fine. You don't care what Ben thinks.

- Anybody home? - What are you doing?

- This is Dennis Lamont's boat. - No.

- Maybe he's in the cabin. - No. Why don't we...?

- Anybody home? - Let's call and let's find out.

Ed, now this is wrong. Ed. Ed.

- Ed? - Doesn't seem like there is.

You can't do this. This is trespassing.

Trespassing is wrong. It's illegal. They're gonna revoke your bail.

You know what that means? You're gonna go to jail.

What are these?

Well... Aah, this is no navigation chart.

They're supposed to be blueprints

of Security Central Bank,

- but it's not. - It's not?

No, they're fakes.

They're nothing like it.

Crighton must have dummied them up knowing that if and when I found them,

I'd think that's where they were gonna hit.

Yeah, the blueprints, casing the bank the other day,

Jaffe today.

It was all a big decoy.

And I fell for it.

- Damn it! - Ed, what are you doing?

Because of my stupidity,

they are probably out pulling a heist right now.

I gotta find out where they are.

Ed.

That's it. That's it, listen to me. Listen to me, I'm serious.

If you don't come with me now, I'm gonna call the police.

Don't touch that phone.

Automatic redial.

Black and White Cab Company.

Come on, Melissa. Come on, come on, come on.

- That's it, me too. - You got it.

How are you gonna find him in here?

By looking.

Hey.

- Hey, watch it, man. - Excuse me.

What?

Back off, jerk!

FBI. Shut your face.

I'm with him.

Bingo.

Ron Jaffe's car.

- It's not there. - Let me see.

See? See? The money's not there, man.

What the hell is going on?

Don't move. Just stay right where you are.

Well, it took four years,

but I finally get to say my three favorite words:

You're under arrest.

Are you joking? You can't set them free.

What do you suppose I charge them with?

Standing in a room?

Armed robbery.

They were trying to recover $7 million they stole four years ago.

There wasn't any money in that motel room.

Well, there was.

- Question them. - You know what I charged them with?

I charged them with malicious vandalism.

And when they pay their fine, they are free to go.

And you're lucky I don't throw you in jail,

along with you.

- Now, wait a minute. - For that fiasco back at the bank.

You tied up 20 of my officers for four hours.

And what do I have to show for it?

Don't you understand? It was all a diversion.

Well, looky here, boys, it's Ed Wingate.

I say we sue him for false arrest.

I assume you're aware that this mentally challenged individual

is out on bail

and therefore prohibited from carrying a gun?

It wasn't a gun. It was a toy.

Well, a fake gun for a fake FBI agent.

Seems kind of fitting, doesn't it?

Where's the 7 million bucks, boys?

You still singing that same old song, Ed?

This isn't over.

Well, it better be,

because you harass me one more time,

I'm gonna haul you into court,

and I'll hang your pathetic butt out to dry.

Well, as your lawyer I need to warn you,

he could do that.

But, Ben,

my butt is already bone-dry.

You tore up my floor because you were drunk?

When I drink, I get destructive. It's, uh...

It's a bad childhood thing.

Yes, ma'am, I've seen him demolish entire kitchenettes. It's...

Well, needless to say, I'm terribly sorry.

Will you put that thing out, please?

Sorry.

Do you have any idea how much the repairs are gonna cost?

About $1,200.

And I can't rent that unit out for a week, so that'll cost me.

Well, I'll tell you what.

I'll give you $2,000 in cash, right now.

I mean, that ought to cover it, don't you think?

If there's anything left over, keep the difference.

Sure, okay.

Of course, I was hoping you'd do me a little favor in return.

- What? - Let me see your registration book.

It's against company policy,

so do it quick, okay?

There it is. I knew it.

Thank you.

They came in about a half hour after you called me.

They were real interested in this name right here.

"Al Ducow."

Checked in last March, stayed one night.

- Who's Al Ducow? - This proves I'm right, lieutenant.

They pulled the heist off four years ago.

They buried the money in that motel room.

The idea was they wait a couple of years

till the heat is off and then divvy it up.

Only it looks like this, uh, Al Ducow came back ahead of schedule

so he could keep all the money for himself.

But now he's dead.

When did that happen?

Three days ago.

He dropped dead at the end of the triathlon.

Finished right next to Thomas Crighton.

Well, you're awful quiet over there.

What's the matter?

I don't know.

Kind of blue, I guess.

Poor baby.

You know I told you I was gonna take you to Lake Como?

Yeah.

Well, it turns out I can't.

Got a business trip I forgot about.

Of course, I could take you with me.

Where are you going?

Terre Haute.

Indiana.

Wanna come?

- Well... - Anita.

Ralph. Aah!

Good to see you.

How are you? I thought you moved to Florida.

That I did.

And then I found I missed the sound of your lovely, lilting voice,

and I turned around, and homeward bound.

And now, seeing you again, rejoice.

Oh, Ralph, you are so talented and so sweet.

Ralph Fowler, this is Billy Lewis.

Ralph's an old friend. Billy's a new friend.

- Hello, Billy. - Hello.

What's all that rejoice stuff?

Ralph writes poems for greeting cards.

Really?

Well, I'd love to stay and talk to you two,

but this is the day I have a project due.

- I'll call you later. - Okay.

Nice meeting you, um... - Billy. - Billy.

Glad you're back.

Isn't he amazing?

He didn't remember my name.

He just forgot.

Poets are so scatterbrained.

I wrote a poem once.

- Really? - Yeah.

Can't remember it.

You are so cute.

- Cuter than Ralph? - Oh, stop that.

- Get the lines. - What do you think he did

- with the money? - Who knows.

But if there's anything left, we'll never find it. That's for sure.

Oh, man.

I'm afraid you're not going anywhere, Mr. Crighton.

I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of Albert Ducow.

What? What the hell is wrong with you people?

He died of a heart attack.

- The coroner did some more tests. - At my suggestion.

And discovered that heart attack was induced

by a chemical called Monocaine.

Almost impossible to spot unless you're looking for it.

I'll handle this, Mr. Wingate.

He had to have ingested it within a half hour of his death.

And since you were the only one with him,

and since it's highly doubtful that he poisoned himself...

Why would I kill him? He was my friend.

So your buddies wouldn't find out

that it was you that dug up the money from the heist.

I'll handle this, Mr. Wingate.

Al Ducow was in Hawaii

when he supposedly registered in that motel.

- Credit card records prove it. - Mr. Wingate...

You registered at the motel using his name.

You stole the money and then you killed him

so these two would never suspect it was really you

and not Al Ducow who double-crossed them.

Mr. Wingate, shut up.

You can ask the questions you want downtown.

Cuff him, book him. Let's go.

Ed,

I really want you to remember this moment,

because you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life.

Hey, hey, lieutenant.

Wait.

Maybe these other two fellas ought to come downtown too.

All right, here he comes. Watch.

See that? He dropped something in the cup.

Wanna see it again?

Where did you get this?

I saw a guy taping the race.

I tracked him down, and he gave me a copy of his tape.

When the jury sees this,

your friend Mr. Crighton's as good as convicted.

Yeah, I suspect when he sees this, he'll wanna make a deal.

Yeah. If he was my client, that's what I'd advise.

Well, what kind of deal?

The kind that'll put you in jail for a minimum of three to five years.

Wait, you got nothing to threaten me with.

You don't care if Mr. Crighton tells the police

about that Charleston armored car robbery?

Come on, you know him better than we do.

What do you think he'll do?

Be a stand-up kind of guy

and not say anything about you and Mr. Lamont?

Or sell you down the river to save his own neck?

- What's your point? - The point is

is I'm giving you a chance to make a deal.

You tell us everything we wanna know right here, right now,

and you agree to testify in court when and if it becomes necessary,

and I'll get you immunity from prosecution

for that armored car robbery.

Of course, now, if you refuse,

I'll just go on out and get Mr. Lamont and give him a crack at the deal.

So, what do you say?

You throw in a cigarette, you got yourself a deal.

Yeah, well, I'm telling you it's a lie.

Are you saying that you did not mastermind

that $7 million armored car heist?

Of course not.

Well, Ron Jaffe just testified under oath that you did.

Well, Ron Jaffe's lying.

Was he lying when he said

that you knew Kathy Bridges?

No, I knew her.

Well, when he said that you brought her

aboard Mr. Lamont's boat, was that a lie?

No, I brought her aboard.

Ah. When he said that she was an old friend of yours, was that a lie?

Yes. I'd just met her.

Oh, when he said

that you were paying her to keep tabs on my client, Ed Wingate,

was that a lie?

That is a lie.

When he said that Ed Wingate

had been hounding you and him

and the other two for years,

trying to pin this armored car heist on them, truth or lie?

That's true.

Now, when he said that you were not in your motel room

at the time of the murder, truth or lie?

I'd just gone out for a run.

Oh, run, my eye.

You'd met up with Kathy Bridges, killed her,

dumped her in Ed Wingate's motel room

so the police would find her there, blame him,

get him off your back

so you could go ahead with your scheme

to keep all $7 million in stolen money yourself, didn't you?

- Ahem. - What?

Um, excuse me, Your Honor.

Um... Uh, um...

The defense has no further questions.

This court is recessed until 10:00 tomorrow morning.

Police just busted a dealer

who said that Thomas Crighton was with him

at the time of the murder.

He was buying the Monocaine he used to kill Al Ducow.

So...

he committed that murder, but, unfortunately for us, not this one.

Where were you when you saw him?

Oh, I was right out there fixing the ice machine.

Yeah. You say you heard footsteps over there?

Yeah, I heard somebody fooling around with a lock.

Like he was having trouble with his key or something.

And I looked over and I saw that Wingate guy outside the room here.

Had a lady hanging all over him like she was just totally blotto.

I called over to see if he wanted some help. He didn't answer.

About a second later, he got the door open,

kind of pulled that lady into the room with him,

shut the door.

That's the last I saw him till the police came.

- And you didn't see anybody leave? - No.

And you were working on the ice machine the whole time?

Yeah. Well, maybe not the whole time, but most of the time.

And you're sure it was Ed Wingate?

- Well, it was his room, wasn't it? - Huh.

Where's that door go?

Oh, the room next door. That door's always locked.

- You got a key? - Oh, sure.

Hey, room in here's been out of commission for a while.

Some pipes broke in the bathroom upstairs.

Made a real mess. No electricity. Nothing.

I was supposed to redo the ceiling and redo the wallpaper.

Hadn't got around to it before the murder,

and then since then,

everything around here just come to a screeching halt.

Now, I don't know when I'm gonna finish.

Don't. Don't go in there.

I had met Miss Bridges, yes.

Thomas brought her by the boat one night for a drink.

Is that when he told you

that he had hired her to keep tabs on Ed Wingate?

No, I don't recall him saying that. No.

But you did know who Ed Wingate was, didn't you?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, he'd been hounding us for years,

trying to pin some armored car robbery on us.

As it turns out,

he had good reason to hound you, didn't he?

Because Mr. Jaffe testified right here under oath

that you, he and the other two did in fact pull off that robbery.

I can't comment on that. Lawyer's orders.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

So what Mr. Jaffe told us

about how the four of you came down here to Wilmington,

not to be in some triathlon,

but to dig up and divide that stolen money,

I guess you can't talk about that.

No, afraid not.

Yeah.

You know, it costs a lot of money to own a big boat like yours.

You got mooring charges,

upkeep, fuel, utilities, taxes.

Not to mention the original investment.

You rich, Mr. Lamont?

- Not really. - No. Ha, ha.

No ways near it.

Truth is, you're in debt up to your eyeballs, aren't you?

Well, isn't every red-blooded American?

Yeah, yeah. Well, I suppose.

But you needed your share of that stolen money bad.

And when you learned that Ed Wingate was down here

spying on you fellas, threatening to gum up the works,

you knew you had to do something, didn't you?

None of what you're saying is the least bit true.

Oh, yes, it is. Yeah, it's all true.

And sad for you, I can prove it.

Have you ever been in the motel where Ed Wingate was staying

when Kathy Bridges was killed?

The Seaview Motel?

- Never. - Never been in his room

or any of the other rooms?

No, never.

Oh, uh...

What kind of shoes do you wear when you're on that big boat of yours?

I wear deck shoes always.

Uh...

Deck shoes like these?

Yes.

If they look familiar, they're yours.

I had the police get a warrant

and remove them from your boat this morning.

Why would you do a thing like that?

Well, because in the room adjacent to Ed's room,

at the Seaview,

they found several real nice footprints.

You see, there's nobody in that room. It's unoccupied.

They're gonna redecorate it. There's no electricity.

There's no rug on the floor, and there's dust everywhere.

So let me show you. Let me show you.

They found these shoe prints, see?

Isn't that nice?

And when they compared and analyzed these shoe prints,

they determined that they were made by a pair of deck shoes like these.

So what? Half the people in Wilmington have shoes just like mine.

Yeah, that's right.

But they don't walk like you do.

See, when you walk, you what they call pronate.

You turn your ankles in like that.

And that means

that you wear the inside of the heels of your shoes

more than the outside.

You see there?

And when you figure your weight, how old the shoes are, the size,

well, the shoe print is, uh, just about as unique as a fingerprint.

So when they compared this shoe print here

with these shoes, guess what.

Perfect match.

Now, how could you have left shoe prints

in a room you were never in?

Well, that's easy.

The police made a mistake.

Wouldn't be the first time, now, would it?

No.

But you know how these prints got there, so do I.

And the police.

You met up with Kathy Bridges that night,

and somewhere along the line, probably in your car,

you put on a pair of gloves and you strangled the life out of her.

And drove over to Ed Wingate's motel, picked the lock to his room,

dumped her body there.

Then you stole the briefcase that had those pictures of all of you

that she was telling you about.

The problem was somebody saw you go in that room,

so you couldn't go back.

So what you did,

you picked the lock to the room next door.

You couldn't turn the lights on,

and you had no way of knowing there was dust everywhere.

And you were leaving behind proof positive

that you're the killer.

The bad part is your friend Thomas Crighton,

because of him,

your share of that $7 million was long gone.

So you killed Kathy Bridges and framed Ed Wingate

for nothing, didn't you?

Hey, Jer.

- Hey, Cliff. - Agh!

Hey, Ed, what are you doing?

The party's in your honor. You're not supposed to be cooking.

Oh, you want something done right, do it yourself.

Nothing I hate worse than an ill-prepared hamburger.

Those burgers actually smell good.

Here.

Why, thank you.

Try not to burn mine, okay?

- So you went for a run? - Yeah, yeah, a short one.

You know, Cliff, I'm really impressed with what you did.

- Really? - Yeah.

I thought it was great.

So, what does that mean?

She was really impressed with what I did.

Does that mean she likes me?

She wants me to ask her out? What does that mean?

Slow and steady wins the race.

I thought it was the race is to the swift.

Hmm.

Good point.

I'll get it.

Now, either play something romantic or cut it out, would you please?

Anita's here.

Hi, come on in. We're just getting ready to eat.

No, I, um...

I'm not gonna stay. Thanks, anyway.

Something wrong?

Well, I've been seeing Ralph.

You know the fellow you met on the beach the other day?

The guy who talks in rhymes?

We've always had this connection, and...

Well, seeing him again,

I realized that the fire between us is still burning.

So, um, I'm returning the necklace,

and I won't be seeing you again, Billy.

You're dumping me?

Well, call me superficial.

It's just that Ralph is special.

He's a starving artist, I know, but he is an artist.

And I just find that, heh, irresistibly romantic.

Artist? He writes greeting cards.

I'm sorry.

Bye-bye, Billy.

Here we go.

Now, be careful, this is hot.

Come and get it.

Hey, Pop, dinner's ready.

Poppie, your favorite.

She dumped me.

For a guy who dresses like a bum and writes bad poetry.

Well, 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Look who the wind blew in.

We're sorry, Billy.

Well, you ought to be.

All of you made me think she was after my money,

and she wasn't.

Well, Billy, it's just one of those things that didn't work out.

There'll be others.

Others?

That woman put a spring in my step and made my heart skip a beat.

Hey, Pop, that was just like poetry.

Yeah. That was like poetry.

Wonder if it's too late to call her again.

Yeah, it's too late.

Well, Billy, we are all sorry.

Well, if you're ready for love,

it'll find you.

Know what that means, Ben?

Means I'm ready and you're not.

You better shape up.