Original subtitles

♪♪

[feedback grows louder]

[explosion]

Hi, friends.

It's me again.

Bill.

Bill Lenoch, Lenoch's Auto Circus.

Out where the friendly freeways end.

The difference is love, friends.

Bill Lenoch puts love in each and every car that leaves this lot.

Whether it's a late model or just a transportation vehicle,

Lenoch has got a car to suit your family style

and your family budget.

Yes, sir, and nobody gets...

[suspenseful music ♪]

Nobody gets turned away. Nobody.

Buy one of these late models at Lenoch's Auto Circus.

All freeways lead here.

Lenoch trusts you there.

Uh...

Lenoch trusts everybody at--

Easy terms will be arranged.

Pay nothing now. Pay nothing later!

Never pay!

I run a clean business. I sell clean cars.

They all guarantee-- c-carry-- uh...

guarantee our gold key quality...

quality sticker.

Yes, sir, folks, that's what you get.

You get a guarantee...

Lenoch is good!

Trust him!

Will somebody, for Christ's sake,

take these cars off my hands?!

♪♪

You know what this place is?

I'll tell you what it is, it's a shit house.

And you know why? Because nobody gives a damn about it but me.

I'm a janitor in my own house.

Barely does his job anymore.

No pride or workmanship.

Imbecile Jap gardener.

He can do anything. He doesn't have to be a gardener,

or a Jap.

Never moves the furniture out of the path of the sprinklers.

Wakes us up at six o'clock in the morning three days a week.

Even the God damn garbage man has got no pride!

[phone ringing]

[phone continues ringing]

It might have been my broker.

[man on phone speaking Spanish]

[speaking Spanish]

[phone slams]

[splash]

[shouting]

Cramp?

A rat.

He's stuck in the drain. - A rat?

In our pool?

Yeah, I guess they get thirsty and come down from the hills

and fall in the pool and get sucked into the filter.

Well, get it out! Get it out!

It's alive in there!

Well, so? Get it out!

- Any idea how? - Yes, call the pool service.

I want this pool drained and scrubbed!

The chlorine will kill all the bacteria.

Oh really? Well, you didn't seem too happy swimming around with a rat in there.

Well, I came up about two inches from his face!

It was looking me right in the eye!

So, call the pool service!

Oh, I hate rats!

[phone dialing]

Hello, information.

Could you give me the number of the Academy Pool Service.

That's the western directory.

You know that I almost jumped in this pool?

Well, I would have vomited, that's all.

I just would have vomited.

Thank you.

[phone dialing]

See, he can't get out.

Suction's keeping him down.

Oh, when I think of all of our water

filtering over that rat...

No answer. A rat and no answer.

Well, that's typical. They're never there when you need them.

- Hello? - They're there?

Yeah.

Hello, this is Mr. Lenoch.

4600 Canyon Road.

We have your service and, uh... [chuckles]

We've got a rat stuck in the drain. - Bill, don't be so nice.

Tell them, tell them!

Well, yeah, but we have your service three times a week.

A rat's extra...

A rat's extra.

[scoffs]

Well, look, I don't give a damn about that,

just tell me when you can get a man over here.

Monday? But Monday's our regular day!

- Bill. - What?

I don't see any rat in that pool.

You don't wanna see.

- I don't see-- - Your mascara's all smeared.

Give me your supervisor.

Never mind that! I wanna speak to your supervisor.

- Bill. - Yeah?

♪♪

I-I'll call you back.

Uh... a pool service!

A rat caught in the drain. The pool drain.

Oh, I didn't see anything.

Maybe he imagined it.

He imagined things?

I surfaced just a few inches from it.

They come down from the mountain during the dry season.

♪♪

Put up one hell of a fight.

Jesus.

[chuckling]

They calls 'em

kangaroo rats,

'cause the back leg is longer than the front.

You're from the exterminator?

Well, of course! What a coincidence! [laughing]

Where's your truck?

Usually, they's pretty smart.

But when you's sucked up, bein' smart don't mean nothin'.

My wife is really rather squeamish.

Here.

You wanna touch it?

No, it's dead.

I don't like dead things.

What is it you want here?

Hey, look, is there anything I could do for y'all?

Outside?

Inside?

I mean, anything at all?

Well, no, if you're looking for employment,

I'm afraid we have nothing to offer at the moment.

Now, if you'll just get rid of that thing.

Where?

♪♪

Um, upstairs in the house, in the disposal?

Of course not.

Put it in a...

- Put it in a trash barrel. - No!

No, they're empty, and the gardener will leave it by the kitchen and--

Alright, alright then. Any place.

Throw it, throw it in the bushes.

Just get rid of it!

It's a shame. I was...

thinking of moving into the neighborhood.

I just hate throwing rats around the place like that.

[music grows louder ♪]

Bill,

don't you think that you should offer this, uh, young man a tip?

Yes, something to, um, show our appreciation.

And it wasn't my imagination!

I don't have any money in my swimsuit.

Why don't I go up to the house.

Why don't we?

Don't force me to call the servants.

There ain't nobody in the house.

Help is a bitch to find, ain't it?

I'll give you just one more chance to get off this property.

What're you gonna do? Call the police?

It'll take 'em 45 minutes to get here.

What you think I'm gonna be doing all that time?

Now, let's you and me walk hand in hand up the hill

to the house.

No!

[splash]

Go in after it, lady!

Go on in after it and get electrocuted.

Oh, what is it you want?!

Like the lady said, tips.

♪♪

[Bill] This house was built in 1929

by the family of William Randolph Hearst.

The, uh, last couple that owned the house

were getting a divorce. That's how we got it for a song.

[chuckles]

You know who lived here once?

Tom Mix. Remember Tom Mix?

[Bernadette] This is the, uh...

Well, this is the entrance hall, uh, the kind of vestibule,

which, uh, opens up to the dining room.

And then, just through this door,

we get to the breakfast room,

which usually is orange and yellow and, uh,

we used kind of sunlight as a motif.

And then, this is kind of, uh, the butler's pantry.

And you see, there's another entrance

from the dining room into this.

Over there, you see, uh, is our living room,

which has a working fireplace and plenty of room

and, of course, a terrific view of the front lawn

and also the side.

This is a special mobile that I-I'm very fond of,

and it-it drips water,

and a lot of people spend a lot of time

trying to figure out exactly where the water--

how the water gets back up to it.

And I'm very proud of it and do think it's lovely.

And then, going up these few steps,

we get into my husband's office,

which I don't really spend too much time in.

This is his domain. This is his office.

He takes care of it.

[Bill] Of course, I keep another office in town.

[Bone] But you deduct this one, too, huh?

Who's this hen?

He's our son.

He's in Vietnam now.

He's a Lieutenant.

Flies a chopper.

Well, doesn't that mean anything to you?

I mean, our boy is-is risking his life for your country.

And... Hey!

We're never gonna be able to clean that up!

Look, don't do that!

Okay, look, there's $30 in my wallet upstairs.

You can have that--

I'm talkin' 'bout money.

- The main company. - Saks Fifth Avenue.

That's all that you guys-- bills, bills, bills, bills?

Hey, your account's $57 overdrawn.

Eye Magnum, Bullocks.

Some kind of beauty center.

This is nothing but bills.

Lady, you know something?

You spend money for a lot of crap, you know that?

You can have my fur coats. They're in the cedar closet.

You can have them!

What am I gonna do with fur coats in the middle of July?

Oh, please, don't do that.

- Oh, look, there's nothing in there. - There's nothing there.

- There's no money there! - We have to do something.

- I can't! - Oh, look up.

Now, look...

You live in a big house.

You make big money, and you got big bread.

And now, I want you to tell me where it is, do you hear me?

Tell me where it is.

Look, I got 32-- $32,000 and two traveller's checks.

Now, I want some money. I want some money right now.

Is that clear now?! - We don't have anything else!

He's already telling the truth, all we have are credit cards!

[shouting incoherently]

[screaming]

- Why didn't you listen to me?! - No, you listen.

You ain't got no balance in your account,

that means you got cash here in the house, or...

- Or what?! - Or you in one hell of a mess.

Shit, you got th-the biggest house here in the neighborhood.

Big car and she's all over, that's how--

That's how come I picked you out!

And all you got is-is-is bills up to your ass.

Hey, hey, hey.

[chuckling]

Holdin' out!

Hey.

You took a third on your house?

A third?

Let me see that.

That's not possible without my signature.

What'd you do, forge her name?

I don't think this is a proper time to discuss it.

He oughta be locked up. He even borrowed on his life insurance.

What?!

What's going on here?

Well, what else could I do? We-We had to!

We needed the money, we were strapped.

Strapped? What, you can't tell me about it?

I'm gonna have to be the hasty departure, as they say,

slip out the back door and split.

But before I leave,

I was thinking of raping her, but you've got trouble enough,

so I'm gonna have to tie you up. So, come on, turn around.

That's alright, we-we don't mind being tied up.

Come on, come on

Don't you gag him.

You all turn around, put your hands behind your back.

- He gets shortness of breath-- - I do not!

I said shut up! Put your hands behind your back!

I ain't foolin' around now! - I will not be tied to him!

Lock me in a closet! - Well, you'll smother.

The man knows what he's doing. Let him handle it.

You're gonna say something to me.

I really don't understand it. Say something to me.

Make me understand it. - It's not such a big deal.

It's not such a big deal?

A-A third on the house, you don't even tell me.

You forge, you realize it's a criminal offense? You could go to jail.

[overlapping arguing, Bone singing]

You can't charm your way out of that, you know.

That's forgery! That's forgery, any court!

Any court in the country, that's forgery.

[chuckles]

[sing-songy voice] $5,000.

With interest of five and one half percent,

compounded daily.

- What is that? - Mm!

- What? - That's sneaky, Billy.

[nervous laugh] Where'd this come from?

- What? What? This... - [Bone laughing]

Oh... [laughing]

- [Bone] Yeah, explain that one. - It's an old account. I'd forgotten I even had it.

[laughing]

You're a thief!

You've been robbing from your own wife!

And-And it's in his name, his name only.

How could you have forgotten about it?

How is that possible, that you could have forgotten about it, huh?

Bernadette, it's not such a big thing, I'm a busy man.

It's a piddling little bank account.

What is the big deal? - A piddling little bank account?

How could you forget it when we owe so many bills?

Don't even think about it. It belongs to me now, it's mine.

[Bone laughing]

- Let's see you charm your way out of this one. - Yeah!

Yes, friends, you can see we're in trouble.

Yes, sir, we're losing our shirts,

so come on in and take advantage of us.

We can't afford to turn you down,

even if you have no credit reference,

even if you're unemployed,

even if you're been bankrupt, you can still drive off our lot

in one of these fine luxury cars.

And don't forget our gold key special.

So, take the Norwood Avenue exit,

west one mile to the sign of the big booboo.

Our mistake, your lucky day!

[eerie music ♪]

Hey, hey, hey.

He makes some appearance with his clothes on.

I could've been dressed by now!

You couldn't get your eyelashes on by now.

Lady, if they see you any place near that bank

with less than full makeup,

they're gonna start gettin' suspicious.

Now, look, I insist on going with him!

Do you understand? I insist!

In fact, I demand it. - Would you just be quiet!

Yeah, shut up. We don't need all this bullshit.

Now, look.

You go into that bank real casual like, see?

Collect our funds.

Then validate your parking,

and get your ass over here before 3:30 o'clock.

Or else, I'm gonna bang the hell out of her

and cut her throat with your own gold letter opener.

- Oh, my God. - Did you have to say that to her?

I'm telling you that so we understand each other's plight.

I need that bread,

and I'm gonna be real pissed if you're the least bit tardy.

You do what he says, do you understand?

You do exactly what he says! - Yes, yes.

And you're not to threaten her while I'm gone.

Now, is that perfectly clear?

Now, I wants that money in, uh, tens and twenties.

Oh, why is this happening to me? Why me?!

Please tell me, why is it happening to me?

[overlapping shouting]

...cause you're gonna drive real careful like.

Now...

Now let me see what time it is.

Put your hand up there, so I can see what time it is.

Hold it right there, I'm fin' button this button here.

Yes, sir.

Hm, one minute after two. [chuckles]

Now, that gives you a whole hour for that round trip, don't it?

Bill?

And remember this,

beware of the fuzz.

I got nothing to lose.

Oh, no, Bill, come on now, don't you--

Don't you leave me with him. Bill, if you go,

if you go, Bill, I'm gonna scream. I'm gonna scream!

- Go ahead and scream. - I'm gonna scream.

Scream.

[screaming]

Bill, don't you leave me now.

Would you look at who you're leaving me with!

Bill!

Bill, why don't you listen to me?!

I'm telling you! Bill!

Bill! - Do what I said.

Would you look at who you're leaving me with?!

[Bernadette screaming]

[tense music ♪]

You son of a bitch.

[car starting]

Hey, you got any ice cream?

♪♪

[radio announcer] At the signal, the time is 2:15.

[car honking]

[cars honking]

- Wanna have some popsicle? - No!

- Come on-- - No! I--

When I was a kid, we used to collect the bags.

Save popsicle pete and get some...

swell prizes.

I saved 500 bags.

I smoothed them out, and I put 'em in the drawer,

secret drawer none of the other eight who lived with us knew about.

500 bags.

And I got something...

Roaches.

[whimpering]

[gasp]

You know how long it takes to save 500 bags?

Gather them up outta the streets where other kids threw 'em away.

Pickin' 'em up outta trash cans.

They said they were sticky and crappy, but I washed them,

and I smoothed them out,

and I put them in the drawer.

It was the roaches that fucked me up!

It was this long railroad apartment,

and they had plenty of places to hide.

And I'd wait.

I'd wait until everybody else had gone to sleep.

I'd wait in the dark, and then I'd...

- [whimpering] - ...I'd slide out of bed.

[grunt]

[indistinct]

...roaches.

And I'd pick one up and feel it trembling between my fingers.

See that?

And I'd hold it, and he'd fall like...

[loud bang] I'd hear him squish.

Go ahead. Y-You pick it up.

Go ahead, come on.

- No, I don't want it. - Pick it up!

Pick it up, go ahead. Hold it in your hand.

Feel it? Feel it when you come down, you go squish!

- [screaming] - Go ahead!

- I will... - Pick it up, feel it.

Pick it up. Go ahead and pick it up!

- I feel, I do! - Feel it?

Now, I come down, alright, and go squish.

Squish! - [screaming]

- Feel it now, go ahead. Pick it up, go ahead. - [heavy breathing]

[both] Squish!

- Go ahead, do it again. - [both] Squish!

That's it! Squish!

- [both] Squish! - Do it! Squish! That's it!

I don't wanna do it! I don't wanna do it anymore!

[overlapping shouting]

Go ahead, hit it!

Go ahead, squish! That's it!

Squish!

- [both] Squish! - I'm doing it!

Do it! That's it!

[screaming]

I did it! I did it!

I did it! I did it!

♪♪

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! - What?

Emergency, Doctor?

- Yes. - Somebody dying?

Yes, yes.

Oh, thought so.

Oh, and you, uh, left this on the front seat.

- Why did I do that? - Anyone coulda picked it up, Doc.

Yeah, yeah.

Uh, what time is it?

Going on three.

What do you want?

Don't make me do it again, please!

You don't have to do it again.

What?!

Just tell me what you want! What do you want?

I want some hot food.

Can you cook? - Yes! What?

- Eggs. - Eggs...

- Yeah, I want some eggs. - Hey, hey!

Alright.

Scrambled.

Scrambled eggs. - Hold it, hold it.

I want some eggs coddled. - What?

Coddled. Don't you know coddled eggs?

I mean, you live in this big, fancy house.

You gotta know something about coddled eggs. - Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, I don't know how to make a coddled egg. [gasp]

No, no sweat.

I mean, you-you gon' learn something this afternoon, hm?

Yes, sir. [panicked breathing]

You gonna fix up the best coddled eggs ever.

Mm-hmm!

[tense music ♪]

[Bernadette] He's in Vietnam now.

He's a Lieutenant. He's in Vietnam.

[eerie music ♪]

Hi.

What kind of checks do you have?

Beg your pardon?

I have surfers.

I mean, I used to have tennis players.

Maybe that's why my checks kept bouncing.

See?

Surfers. - Very attractive.

What about yours?

- Mine? - Checks.

Oh, um, plain, just plain.

I think they oughta make money more beautiful.

I mean, who cares about all those seedy old presidents.

I mean, they oughta put a Renoir on a five,

a Picasso on a ten.

The teller's ready for you.

I'd like to order new checks.

This time, ones with skin divers on them.

Well, that's new accounts over there.

This is the express lane.

Oh! Mr. Lenoch!

Oh, I saw you on TV last night in my own bedroom.

I'd, uh, like to make a withdrawal, please, total withdrawal.

- Total withdrawal? - Yes.

Okay, well, I'll just figure out the interest right here.

Why don't you fill out this withdrawal--

Look, I don't have an awful lot of time, parking meter.

I'll get a ticket if we go beyond three o'clock.

Oh, well, you've got a good 20 minutes, Mr. Lenoch.

Mr. Lenoch, excuse me,

I don't mean to be meddlesome or anything, but, uh,

why don't you, uh, keep your savings account in tact

and make a $5,000 loan,

and we could give it to you for 2% above the line-- - No, no,

just, uh, close out my account, please.

Oh, alright, sir.

[Bernadette] I do not want to be tied to him!

I don't wanna be close to him.

Yes.

- Yes? - Yes, that might be a, very sensible idea.

I'll think about it, I've got time.

Oh, it's, uh, financial common sense, sir,

if I do say so myself.

Yes, I'll talk to my taxman and my accountant and, uh...

Good, we'll be right here, Mr. Lenoch, come to this window!

That's Bill Lenoch, the famous TV personality.

Comes to my window all the time.

[piano playing softly ♪]

Refill.

Hey.

Hey...

Hey there!

I loved your dog.

What happened to him?

What?

Your dog, Fury.

You're Bill Lenoch!

He's dead.

I know that.

I used to love how he'd lie on the hood of a car,

and he'd lie so still,

and you'd be selling cars and on like that.

He scratched up his share of paint jobs.

Sank his teeth into my hand once

when I was halfway through a Manza commercial.

Took an hour for the bleeding to stop

and I could go on with the taping.

Even so, you adored him.

Every time I looked at that mutt,

All I could think of was his grandfather

chasing across the yard of some concentration camp

biting some Jewish ass.

Ad agency nightmare.

Excuse me.

Hey.

Did you have that dog destroyed?

Shh!

Why did you say a thing like that?

I wasn't his real owner anyway.

He was leased.

Aw, honey, I wasn't accusing you.

A 1970 Mercury Colony Park station wagon

ran over him in the south Covina lot.

We held the services there that Sunday, yes, sir.

2,100 people showed up in person, yes, sir!

We sold cars, we-- uh...

Bartender, where's the men's room?

Wait a minute.

I knew we had something in common...

- Madam, I'm terribly sorry... - You know that happened

just about the same time as they killed poor Alfred.

- Killed? - The dentists.

- Dentists? - All of them.

Beverly Hills, Westwood,

Brentwood, Pacific Palisades, Malibu--

A conspiracy of dentists?

Full mouth X-rays,

all of them gave him full mouth X-rays.

Sometimes as many as eight or nine in one day,

six days a week.

But why would they do such a thing?

Exactly what I said.

Don't those dentists know one another?

How could they permit a man to walk into their office

and ask for full mouth X-rays

and not know anything about him?

He went straight through the Yellow Pages.

He didn't miss a single dentist.

I didn't know how he spent his afternoons,

until after he passed on, and the bills began to pour in!

Nothing but dentists!

Do you know what they get?

$25 a clip for full mouth X-rays.

Why did he do it?

He didn't do anything. They did it!

He didn't have a cavity. He had sweet, lovely breath.

Not a trace of tobacco!

Look at those! Look at those!

Hold them up to the light.

Oh, you can't see them here. Come over here.

Oh, you can't see them here either.

Come outside.

Oh, there! Now, you see, you can see them out here.

Why, look at that.

Not a mark, not a mark. And those!

You know, I have a whole drawer full of these.

We could go to my house, and we could look at Alfred's X-rays.

You'd like it! You'll really--

Oh, listen, we weren't trying to run out on the check, you see.

We were just looking at these teeth, and I...

Here-Here, I can take care of that.

Shit.

I-I-I'm terribly sorry.

I seem to have left my house without my wallet.

You see, I was on my way to the bank over there

across the street-- - Be our guest.

Alfred's and mine.

- I couldn't do that-- - Uh, uh! We insist.

Well, thank you, and, um...

My deepest sympathy. - Oh, thank you.

I, uh...

I don't cook much anymore.

Bill likes to eat out.

That's what we do mostly. We, uh...

We go out for dinners.

Big... dinner-- Maybe French, sometimes.

Maybe Italian.

And, uh...

Then we have a couple of drinks.

And then we got home, and we have a...

a nightcap.

Is that why you have a lot of that booze fat?

Oh, yeah, I guess so, I...

You know what my favorite one is?

Polynesian. You like that?

Well, better than the food is, uh...

is I love the drinks that they have.

[coughing]

The drinks, they have terrific...

...drinks, they have a special menu just for the drinks,

and they have little pictures of it on them.

You know...

And they have, um, interesting names.

There's this Cobra! [giggles]

Now that's a funny name for a drink, right?

There's one called a Cobra.

There's one called a Pink Missionary. They have all kinds of names!

I'll bet you could use one of them drinks right now.

Could I?

That's if your eggs meet with my standard of approval.

Now, look...

Please remember that this is the first time that I ever made a coddled egg.

I never made a--

...a coddled egg.

Just take that into consideration, it's the--

Huh?

You don't like it?

I love it.

Maybe you could have a drink. It would wash it down.

It would make it taste better. The juice, it get--

I don't drink.

No drink, no drink.

Something else if you're hungry, french toast?

You like sausages?

What about a scrambled egg?

I could scramble you eggs. I make terrific scrambled eggs.

A mushroom omelette?

There must be something that you want.

One thing that you want.

♪♪

Hey, did you get your money, alright?

Scare ya?

- No. - You jumped.

Well, I was just daydreaming. Did you get your surfers?

Skin divers.

14 day wait.

By that time, I won't be at the same bank anyhow.

Oh, you're leaving town?

Changing banks.

I switch every 30 days.

They give you premiums for opening new accounts.

CorningWare, Chafing Dishes, carving boards.

So, I put it in, and I take it out

and put it in someplace else.

Well, that sounds easy.

One catch,

$50 minimum deposit, exactly what I'm worth.

Oh.

What happens if you spend, say, a dollar?

I'm screwed, no cutlery!

Well, how do you get along?

These!

Most men leave 'em in their car.

They get all cluttered. They get sticky.

Is, uh, is that all you do?

- Of course not. - Am I nosy? What else?

Are you going someplace?

No, just killing time.

Are you good at counting packages?

Join me.

Bread and butter.

What do you do with the peel?

Give me.

Floor show with your snack.

Ever see anybody slip on a banana peel before?

Not in real life, no.

Mm! Barbecue! Good.

All that seasoning is bad for the arteries.

You must be hungry.

Don't have to be.

Can eat any old time.

Doesn't show.

It's my metabolism.

Scares the hell outta guys sometimes,

the way I can put it away.

Marvelous.

I'm a cheap date, though.

I think it tastes a lot better if you steal it.

Is that how you live?

Uh-uh, I bitch, too.

Bitch, what's that?

Oh, I write complaint letters, you know, to all the companies.

Consumer relations.

"The tuna fish was spoiled."

"There was a nail in my TV dinner."

They usually send you an apology letter

and a whole case of their products.

You eat for a month. - [Bill chuckling]

Never get caught?

I circulate.

This chain has 24 stores.

Anyway, not with you.

The father/daughter bit, you know?

Yeah, but what if you are?

I tell 'em I'm alone, scared, and desperate,

like you.

Me? What have I got to be scared of?

Don't you know?

Mm!

What are you doing? Hey, those are cold!

Button up and hang on to 'em.

Got a chill. Where are we going next?

Paper plates and stainless steel.

Come on, let's go.

[slurping]

Uhh...

That's a Wahine's Downfall.

It's a lot like a Sadie Thompson,

except that you-you add brandy.

That's diabetes on the rocks.

Oh, no, no! Whoops! [giggles]

It's delicious! Really, you're gonna like it.

I want you to taste it. I'm making a terrible mess.

But it tastes better than it looks.

In the restaurant, it really looks nice.

Oh, you're trying to slip me a little arsenic, huh?

Oh, grow up. Here, I'll drink it first.

[slurping]

I feel a lot safer all locked inside, don't you?

If there was a fire, I'd worry about getting out.

Is that what you're afraid of? Fire?

Why do you insist that I'm afraid?

Where does everybody get that idea about me?

Everybody has something.

Heights or the dark,

or being alone or not being alone.

You mean childhood fears.

Oh, that's-that's mine. Here.

Not always.

Fear of men,

fear of women,

of being touched,

of using a public potty,

of going to sleep.

Well, I supposed anything could terrify you

if you thought about it long enough.

Oh, you don't think about such things?

No. No, I'm too busy.

Fear of not being busy.

I am concerned about cholesterol.

What about steak sauce with monosodium glutamate?

Oh, run hot water on that. You're gonna hurt yourself.

The strongest muscles of your body are in your jaw.

Did you know that? - No.

Where did you think they were? The strongest muscle?

Legs?

- Do you have a mistress? - No.

Too much time, too demanding,

a lot of work keeping it a secret, you know.

Rides, and motel rooms... - How do you like your meat?

Don't tell me, medium.

While all that energy could be better put to use

by expanding profits, getting ahead.

Instead of laid and alone.

Hm.

You're always alone afterwards, you know?

Try to put something of yourself into it.

But afterwards, lying there,

it all seems so fucking impersonal.

What could be new? People have been doing it for millions of years,

Romans, Egyptians, Babylonians,

what can be new? What makes it me doing it?

It could be anybody doing it with anybody else,

so unless you put some little bit of perversion

of your own to make it special...

but suppose you're not a pervert?

- Oh, you could learn. - Thank God!

After you've lost your virginity and had your kids,

that phase is over,

and you can go on to the business of making money.

Now, that's really personal. Peculiar to each individual.

Style, personality.

They all play a part.

- Who says you're not a pervert? - So you're angry at me.

We only just met, and yet, there is a conflict

that I have to cope with. And for what?

Supposedly to jump into your bed, huh?

Nobody asked you.

[slurping]

Look, lady, cut that shit out.

Now, I don't need you passing out on me

Mm!

Oh, look what I did!

I almost drank the whole thing, and I didn't leave any for you.

I could mix up another batch, huh?

Because I'm really-- - Okay, the party's over, man.

- Huh? - Where's your old man?

He'll be here!

What are you talking about? He'll be here!

Yeah, he's late. Come out from behind this bar.

You wouldn't!

- I told the man what was gonna happen. - What-- a traffic jam!

Any number of things could've happened, honest!

Well, now you got lost.

No, no, that doesn't make any sense! I'm calling the bank!

Just the bank!

- Do it. - The bank!

I'm just calling the bank!

Maybe he had trouble making a withdrawal!

I ain't thinkin' 'bout no withdrawal now.

No! Don't! Stop!

[shouting]

Oh, Bill!

How dare you!

I am gonna have to rape you now!

[overlapping shouting]

Please, don't, don't, don't!

Ugh!

Please, don't!

Oh, Bill!

Bill!

Bill!

Just hold still.

This ain't givin' me no pleasure.

- Bill! - Shut up!

Shit, this is a rotten day for all of us.

You animal!

Don't come calling me names, lady!

I'm just a big, black butt doing what's expected of him!

Well, you're gonna pay for this, big bastard!

Don't!

[overlapping shouting]

I mean, I put a lot of time in this already!

Alright! Do it! Do it! Get it over with!

Shit!

Alright! Why don't you do it?!

What are you waiting for? Get it over with!

Alright.

Go ahead and make yourself a cooler.

Make yourself one of those Polynesian drinks.

Maybe it'll cool you off.

[panting]

Thank you.

Ugh!

Would you like a drink?

Yeah, I want one.

Uh... bourbon?

- Yeah, bourbon's cool. - Uh...

Jim Beam?

Jack Daniels?

Fine, Jack Daniels' fine.

Hey, wait a minute, man, time, hold it just one second here.

Woman, are you crazy or something?

I mean, out of the whole damn neighborhood,

I had to go and pick you people.

I mean, he can't find his way home,

and you playin' hostess.

Jesus H. Christ!

On the rocks?

Yeah, rocks, yeah.

Um...

May I have my top, please?

No, you can't have your top, please.

Well, uh...

Could I have my bottoms?

No, you can't have your bottoms

'cause I'm just gonna have to go through the whole trouble of takin' 'em off again,

you understand me?

Now, you just go ahead and get yourself

natural, stone-cold drunk

because I'ma have to knock you cold and do it to ya.

You understand me?

Uh...

Why didn't you?

I did not what?

Why didn't you knock me cold and do it to me?

Hey, baby, go ahead and finish your drink.

That's all, finish your drink. - No!

Now, please, I want you to tell me why.

Why didn't you?

Because I might've hit you in your natural, stone-cold head

and fractured your skull.

That doesn't make any sense.

You were gonna cut my throat with a gold letter opener anyway, weren't you?

Yeah, mama, and that's still my intent.

You're not telling me the truth.

I don't have to answer any of your questions.

No, that's true. You don't,

but as long as you're going to kill me,

why not be open and frank with me, huh?

Well, yeah...

Soon as I finish my cocktail,

I'm gonna show you.

No! Now, I want you to tell me right now!

Now, you just tell me now,

why you did not knock me unconscious

and take what you wanted?

'Cause you had to be awake, understand?

Is that enough for you, mama?

Oh, no. No, no. No.

God damn it, mama, you embarrassing me.

You're embarrassed?! How do you think I feel?!

Now, I want you to tell me,

just sit down, have your drink, and tell me

why?

Why didn't you do it?

Just tell me why.

You can be frank with me.

I took a course in psychology. Tell me.

You know, it's amazing.

A girl your age with all that sexual experience.

Well, if you wanna know,

I was molested when I was 11 years old

in the orchestra of Loews Orpheum Theatre in New York.

It was a Saturday matinee

by a guy who smelled something like you.

An old guy.

How do you mean smell?

Do you ever notice the way, uh...

all those theaters used to smell the same?

The same with all the RKO houses.

Only they had still a different smell.

You know that certain, um...

bottled smells.

But you remarked on my smell.

Maybe that's the way, um,

perverts smell who bother little kids.

[chuckles]

I never had any such interest.

I hated to sit in the children's section.

All those kids screaming,

blowing into their candy boxes.

You couldn't hear the dialogue.

So, in a dark scene,

I slipped out of my seat

and crossed the aisle into the adult section.

And then, in the back, I see a flashlight blink on,

and the matron would start coming down the aisle.

And I slide over next to a grown-up,

and I whisper, "Say I'm with you, say I'm with you.

Say I'm your daughter. Tell her to go away."

And sometimes, they would.

This guy did.

Then he went back, and he bought me popcorn

and a Pepsi-Cola and Black Crows.

I know I was sitting there

with the popcorn in one hand

and the Pepsi in the other hand,

and my mouth was full of Black Crows.

He reached under my skirt and pulled my underpants down.

Horrible...

I just pretended he wasn't doing anything.

Watched Howard Keel and pretended I was up there,

not down in the dark

with those ice cold fingers.

He must've washed his hands in cold water

when he went back for candy

'cause they were like ice.

There's never any hot water in theaters.

You should've cried out.

The matron would've come

and turned her flashlight right on his hand,

and I never would've been able to go back that that Loews.

Besides,

those Black Crows get stuck to your teeth,

and they make it very hard to yell.

What else did he do to you?

You shoulda reported it. - To Loews?!

Suppose they woulda kicked me out for good,

said that I was making it up?

They wouldn't. They couldn't. You were a child.

That's what you know.

Did you ever read the back of your ticket?

No, you never read it. They don't want you to read it.

That's why they tear it up before you can read it.

I'll tell you what it says.

Are you ready for this?

"The management reserves the right

to relinquish the license

granted by this ticket

by refunding the purchase price."

How do you like that shit?

Is it significant?

It's full of big words

that a little kid can't understand!

It means that they can kick you out

for any reason at all

just by giving you your money back.

Is that so terrible?

Have you ever been kicked out of the movies?

Then you don't know.

Being hauled through the lobby by the usherette,

standing out there, looking at all the glasses,

knowing that you'll never get to see that scene?

Where did they expect me to go?

Home?

Home, for Christ sake?

Now, that was a long time ago, you were a child.

You shoulda told your mother, she woulda--

I did finally.

And you know what she said?

Nothing.

Like she didn't hear.

She told me to tidy my room,

and then she stared away from me.

She never really looked at me after that.

She didn't wanna hear it,

so she didn't.

You don't know what it's like.

I do.

I do, I-I have to think a while,

but smells do b-bring back memories,

like-like a dime novel.

You know about dime novels?

Nick Carter, Doc Savage, Street & Smiths.

The aroma of that cheap, rough paper under your pillow.

Huh? Right?

Yeah...

You see,

it takes time, but I made the connection.

You used to read those?

Well, actually, I-I used to collect them,

used ones.

Sold 'em to the other kids.

- You sold them? - Oh, I had hundreds, sure, yes, I sold them.

The real raggedy ones went four for a dime,

but Street & Smiths, they were a nickel a piece.

Creep!

You do smell like him!

That molester? I don't! I swear I don't!

- I'll never forget him. - You were eating popcorn!

You couldn't smell anything anyway.

- You are the right age. - I don't go to the movies.

It's-It's a waste of valuable business time.

Twelfth row from the front?

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers?

I hate musicals! Now, young lady, you stay away.

Dark,

like it was then.

Turn that light back on.

Young lady, you are dangerously ill.

[grunts]

Holy Jesus, let go, please, please!

Let-- Let go!

Watch the movie.

I'll get you some popcorn.

Some nice, hot, buttered popcorn, wouldn't you like that?

And I can get you a Heath bar, you ever had one?

They're very soft on the outside

and very hard on the inside.

And I can get you a Three Musketeer bar.

That's my favorite.

You can nibble the chocolate around the front.

I love you.

[grunts]

♪♪

See, I, uh...

generally can't do it unless the lady fights back.

I let her hit me a few times,

get a few good scratches in.

Scratching generally does it for me.

Well, didn't I? I mean, I know that I kicked you a lot.

No, kicking turns me off.

Scratching?

Oh, I don't have any nails. I can't grow the damn things.

I take gelatin. - No, no, no, no, I say it's not your fault, lady.

You know, lately, I've been getting the shit clawed out of me, but, uh...

It don't stir nothing up. [sigh]

Well...

[sigh] Disappointment, like today, well, that, uh...

makes me feel bad.

No, damn it, I'm-I'm making excuses.

Is it because I'm white?

Well, if your husband had come back with the bread,

I wouldn't have to go through all this.

I know, this is...

this is demoralizing.

I mean, what kind of a rapist am I?

Well, I don't know...

I've never met a rapist before, but...

I guess, like everybody today, you're...

you're under great social pressures.

Well, when I was 16, you know, I, uh,

you could've called me "boy," you know,

the whole idea of being with a white chick

was like a fantasy, you know, a-a "stay away from her, Jack."

You know, verboten. How 'bout that shit. [chuckles]

"Lynch him."

And the white girls, they were terrified, Jack,

stone-terrified.

I remember.

Used to, I'd slip into a house where a white chick was,

you know, and just, just stand there,

just reveal myself, Jack, you know,

[chuckling] just fucking stand there. She'd scream, you know.

"Why, there's a nigger in my house!"

Hey.

Didn't I-I read about you in the newspapers?

Yeah, you were never caught.

The unidentified negro, you know.

[sigh]

Now, you go to a movie house and...

"Why there it is on the screen.

How about that?

Mixed couples all over the place."

No, they went and took all the mystery out of it.

Yeah.

Now, they're treating us like people.

You can see what kind of position

that puts a rapist like me in.

Damn it.

I had it all worked out.

I have a nigger mystique.

I talk nigger talk, you know?

I'd walk a nigger walk.

I had it made.

Then they changed it.

They changed it all around, and I found myself slippin',

and there I was, you know, I was,

I was holdin' on to the past

because change is scary

And then they said,

"Re-educate yourself.

Learn new trades."

What trades?

The pool man part or the shoeshine boy in me?

What trades?

I only know how to do one thing.

At least I'm...

I used to know how.

[whistles]

White men have the same problem.

Listen, um...

[stammers] Put your pants on. You're making me feel bad.

Hey.

Did you hear what I said?

White men

have the same problem.

- Don't start. - I'm not starting anything.

I just want... I just want-- That's good, you sit down.

Sit on the couch and just relax, okay?

Can I get you something?

Huh? - Can I have my drink, please?

The drink.

Here-- No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. Come on, lie back on the couch.

You lie back, and you relax.

Come on, you trust me.

I'll get you a pillow for your head

'cause it's important that you just be completely relaxed

and trust me. - Why?

Come on.

Put your head down here. There.

Now this ain't natural at all.

Why not?

Why isn't this natural?

Just take your...

shirt off.

You know, maybe if you-you hurl some ... at me,

call me a dirty coon.

No, no, no, no. That's the point.

I want this to be completely without that kind of thing.

Well, that's not the point! - I ain't never done it before without forcing.

Well, it's gonna be very easy.

Now, let me just get that old shirt off.

Hey, hey, you gotta trust me.

Let me just get that old shirt off.

[grunting] Oh, my neck.

What's the matter?

Your neck hurts you? - I have a pain in my neck.

Good, I'm very good. I'll massage your neck for you.

Okay?

There.

I'll massage your neck. Is that good?

Get me the pillow for me...

Can I have a little pillow, please?

- You want a pillow? - Yes.

- Wouldn't rather have me massage it? - No, I want a pillow.

- You want a pillow? - Yeah, that'll help.

Okay, I'll get you a pillow. Just a minute.

Here you go, and while you're up,

let me just get that old shirt off you. - What are you doing?

Well, I can't do this when you have that old shirt on

'cause that shirt has seen better days.

Woo! [laughing]

Goodbye to that old shirt.

Hm?

[both laughing]

What?

- Wait a minute - What's it?

I'm-I'm-I'm ticklish.

- A big boy like you... - Yeah.

Come on, I am ticklish.

- You're ticklish? - 'Course I am! I didn't even know I was ticklish.

You're not ticklish,

you're sensitive.

Hey. - Oh, miss...

Oh, come on, I'm not gonna fall for that, old man.

I think there really is something wrong with...

No, are you ready?

Hey. Hey! - Oh, please, oh, my God...

- You ready? - ...give me another pillow or something.

'Cause I'm gonna get on top of you.

In, uh...

This is called...

The superior position.

Now, that doesn't mean anything. I mean, it's just...

It's just called that.

Well, it means that, uh...

I'm gonna do all the work.

I want you to know that...

What?

I appreciate this.

Ohh...

Isn't it different?

Hm?

Yeah. [Bernadette giggles]

It's, um, it's, um...

Masters and Johnson. - It's what?

The technique, it was suggested by Masters and Johnson.

Oh.

Do they have the same trouble, too?

Hm...

[chuckles]

Do you mind if I...

kiss you again?

Sure.

♪♪

Hey, you know what I was thinking?

What if your husband walked in here right now with the money?

Oh, Bone.

You're just as I imagined you'd be.

[soft snoring]

♪♪

[phone dialing]

- Didn't I tell you to stay off the phone? - Wait.

Repeat that.

Well, it was something about drawing out all of his savings.

Oh, but don't worry, I-I convinced him

how unsound it would be to draw out one's savings so late in the month.

You know, lose all that interest, right?

That shit. [phone slams]

♪♪

Police!

Police!

[Bernadette] I had a feeling.

I'm telling you, I...

I just knew it!

I just had this... - What a family.

Doesn't anybody have a sense of responsibility around here?

Well, I gotta get out of here. What time is it?

What time is it? Aw, shit.

Boy, I can just see him on the six o'clock new.

Yeah, and I can just see me in jail. - Yeah...

The mourning husband of the victim.

Yes, friends, that's the way I found her.

Her legs spread apart, dead.

The victim of multiple rape and homicide.

Truly a tragic situation, ladies and gentlemen.

So take your condolences and your sympathy

to where the friendly freeways meet,

where you can pick the car of your choice

at an unbelievably low price

during this limited tragedy sale.

While they're there, they'll buy a couple of Mustangs.

I know that's true! You know how I know that's true?

Once, we had this accident in the Covina.

It was just a dog.

It was just a God damn dog!

The customers, they came in-in droves!

They'll do that for a dog... - I got it!

They'll probably stall a little while, - ...for a wife

then call the cops and tip 'em that a prowler

and just get 'em over here. - The throat...

cut with a letter opener. - Fearing they won't get here in time.

Look, give me my shirt. - Raped...

- Can I have my shirt, please? - He probably figures I...

Jesus Christ, can I please have my shirt-- - Hey, wait a minute!

- No, I want my shirt, please. - Now, wait a minute, wait a minute!

Wait-Wait, no! Wait a minute!

Wait a minute! - Bernadette, I'd like to have my shirt back, please.

♪♪

Can I have my shirt, please?

Can I please have my shirt?

- But-- - Look, give me my shirt.

You'll be getting a lot more than your shirt.

It wouldn't be this?

Jackpot! [laughing]

What do they say about how all great minds think alike?

Ooh!

Hello, operator? Get me the police department.

[man] Police department.

Hello, police department?

Police department.

Police department!

Uh, hello?

- Police department, is-- - I can't hear you.

You sound like you're talking with a handkerchief over the phone.

Uh, police department, I wanna report an anonymous tip.

Who's calling, please?

Anonymous.

Spell that, please.

Spell anonymous?

Too tough for ya?

Spell anonymous... policeman are you?

Fuck you!

How... What's your name? Who are you?

Anonymous.

- Now look here-- - Look up your ass.

We're sick of getting these phony false alarms from kids.

What is this? A bomb scare?

Certainly not.

Listen, you wouldn't be trying to trace this number, would you?

You'd like that, eh?

- Now, listen here! - You listen, kid.

- I am no kid! - Weirdo! Pot head! Faggot!

How'd you like a nice haircut, huh?

How'd you like to have your whole body shaved?

You got any hair on your body

or it's as smooth like a girl's, huh?

My God, this is like an obscene phone call!

What do you mean... "like"? This is one.

Now listen close.

I'm gonna take your head,

I'm gonna grab you by the ears,

and I'm gonna put--

[phone slams]

Police! [siren wails]

Police!

Officers!

♪♪

[Bone] Red Riding had a sidekick,

a little beaver. [Bernadette giggles]

Now, most of the people I admired

are the sidekick.

Fuzzy little guy,

and they called him Fuzzy, too.

Which one of us is Wild Bill and who's Fuzzy?

Hey, listen to this.

It's double if it's accidental.

[Bone whistles]

[laughing]

Listen to this.

It's $5,000 for the loss of one or more digits,

$17,000 for the loss of one eye,

$50,000 for both eyes,

$12,500 for loss of nose,

and/or both ears

or one ear and loss of either hand

or four digits of same hand!

[chuckles] That's awful petty.

Hm...

Well, you see, you gotta figure out all of the combinations.

Wonder what happens if all of the pieces add up

to more than the whole?

I don't do piece work. The man goes in one fell swoop.

Oh, Bone.

Would you, would you please stop.

I wanna get outta here.

Just pull over.

♪♪

♪♪

I lied to you

about...

Kenneth.

About who?

About...

Kenneth.

Our son.

Oh.

The hero. - He's not a hero.

I don't know how to tell you this.

Come on. Be brave.

He's in jail in Spain

for trying to smuggle hash back from Tangier.

[laughing]

You know, the more I hear about that boy, the more I like him.

He's in for six years and a day.

He wrote to us for help and...

We told everybody that he was flying a helicopter in Vietnam.

You know,

by the time he gets out, it'll be legal here.

Won't he be pissed.

I don't know whose idea it was!

It couldn't have been mine!

I'd remember!

It must've been Bill.

I'd remember.

[sobbing, sniffling]

I'd remember,

wouldn't I?

I'd remember,

wouldn't I?

Wouldn't I?

I'd remember,

wouldn't I?

Wouldn't I?!

I'd remember,

wouldn't I?

[somber music ♪]

- What time is it? - Oh, hello, Bill.

What time is it?

Gee, you're looking great.

- Woody in? - Uh, is he expecting you?

Hey! I'm glad you dropped by. I've been meaning to call. How are ya, Bill?

Darling, uh, get Mr. Lenoch a drink.

No, no thank you.

Uh, coffee?

Diet cola? Chinese food?

We put in a special oriental kitchen

when we took over the chink's account.

How 'bout some terrific pork chow mein?

I'm not hungry.

Darling, I'll have a martini and, uh,

the egg drop soup, crisp on the noodles, mm?

Now, Bill.

- What time is it? - Uh, don't you worry.

When I heard you were in the building,

I cancelled everything for the remainder of the day.

Hey.

Say, you're in trouble, aren't you, Bill?

Well, I am, uh,

somewhat depressed, yes, I...

I...

The old market kickin' the hell out of you, eh?

You see that decline just before closing?

No, I-I didn't.

Nobody's got any cash, so wrap the advertising.

Woody, do you mind if I use your phone to call my house?

You see, I've been trying to get my wife all day and, uh,

there's been no answer, and frankly, I'm worried.

Uh, darling, would you get Mr. Lenoch's home

on my private line, please?

She should be home by now. This is not like her.

Now, where'd he likely be?

[sigh] Okay.

He'd be at his, uh, let's see, his club.

He could be at his accountant. He could be at his lawyer.

Okay.

We'll stop and ring him up. [dog barking]

Wait! No, no! He's probably at his ad agency!

There's a notion here.

You've always worked better as part of a team, right?

First, Fury. Now, your wife.

I mean, what greater loyalty is there than dog to man?

Wife to husband?

I can envision Bernadette now,

perched up there on the hood of a reconditioned XKE

or some other fine automobile.

Oh, that's a brilliant idea, Bill!

I'll buy that concept. - I'm definitely worried.

A dog is a dog, but a wife is a bitch.

Seriously, Bill, how many dogs buy cars, right?

[phone ringing] But wives, by the busload.

No answer at your home, Mr. Lenoch.

There, now Woody, I told you. Now, I am concerned, I am truly concerned.

No, no don't be. No, I just hung up the phone

when the switchboard rang through and said your wife was on the line.

♪♪

Calling here?

She wanted to know if you were expected.

- Did you tell her I was here? - Ohh, shouldn't I have?

Did she wanna talk to me?

No, she said she was coming by to get you.

Was it her voice? Are you sure it was her voice?

Listen, that gives me an idea,

as long as she's coming up here anyway,

it'll give me a chance to pitch her the idea

of using her as successor to old Fury.

[bark]

[tires screeching, Fury whimpering]

I have to go.

I, uh, I have no cash. I need money.

You can't have no money, Bill,

you owe us thousands of dollars in billings.

But I have to have money.

Uh, I never carry cash, Bill. I-I find I have no need for it.

Well, I've got some-some small change--

- Don't you have any petty cash? - No! No!

Uh... It's locked.

A-And the girl's gone.

- I can give ya... 38 cents? - I'll take it.

Now which brings to mind the matter of your billing, Bill.

You are seriously arrear, to the tune of 12 thousand six

on your late night channel five saturation hitchhike bookings.

You owe us money. Bill!

Where should we tell her you went?

I don't care what she tells you. I don't care what she says.

Don't pay any attention to her, you see?

Because it's not her!

[ominous music ♪]

[tires screeching]

[air hissing]

[horn honks]

You okay, honey?

You alright, honey?

Yeah, yeah...

♪♪

[cars honking]

Say I'm with you.

Say I'm with you, say you're my mother.

Tell 'em to go away.

Young man, fuck off.

All you have to do is to say I'm yours.

And...

Senile old bitch!

It's okay, ma'am, we're gonna wash out his mouth with Lifebuoy.

Hi, honey.

Sorry about the ties before, Lenoch.

I bet you're insured for everything.

So!

Tell me about your day, huh?

Yeah, I bet you got a nice, tidy, little alibi.

My dear, we have, uh,

a little misunderstanding.

Bernadette and I understand each other perfect.

You know, I never knew you could run like that.

Mm-mm.

You got style, Mister, them big, long legs,

you sort of lope along, taking those big strides.

Listen, listen to me 'cause...

Let me do that for ya.

Don't be so nice about it!

I'm feeling very tender today,

thanks to what your woman here has shown me.

I got no call to give you any more grief than is necessary.

Oh, that's true, Bill.

You know, after 19 years,

I still have some feeling for you.

And I respect that.

What are you trying to say?

A hit in the head, you'll never know what hit you.

- Afterwards? - Ah, you don't wanna know, just take the hit in the head.

- Couldn't... - You could. I phoned the bank.

- Come on, we're getting off. - No! No!

I'm never gonna get off this bus.

We're not behaving normally, none of us are.

I'm in love.

My God!

With a son in Vietnam...

He's in a Spanish prison.

- He didn't have to be! - No, he didn't!

You could've helped him, but you wouldn't!

[overlapping arguing]

Come on, let's not fight over the children.

How's he gonna like a Harlem Globetrotter for a stepfather?!

Our matrimony is positively out.

See? You see, he's not even gonna marry, you know.

Oh, I am not, I'm never going to leave this bus.

Now, look, you've been fouling things up all day.

Now get your butt out of that chair.

I'm never going to leave this bus!

You're going to have to kill me here in front of witnesses!

I'm... never leaving this bus.

Last stop!

We can make a deal.

We can get along, the three of us.

I have a thriving business,

of course, it's a one man operation.

Bull.

But I could continue to-to support both of you

in the manner to which she's grown accustom.

You can have the master bedroom. I'd sleep in the boy's.

See, I'd be away

in one of the lots most of the time

and business meetings at night,

so I'd never invade your privacy.

It wouldn't work. The help would get suspicious.

- Now look, you heard her. Off! - Wait! Wait! Wait! Just wait a second!

We don't have any help, not now.

And we don't have to, I could do that.

I could do the gardening and the clean-up and--

Hey wait a minute,

I had my heart set on doing the gardening.

Alright, we'll change off every now and then.

Well, you know, that might be a very good idea, man,

because I'm a very good cook,

and none of that soul food stuff either, man.

Roast beef, prime a la stroganoff, man.

[laughing]

Curry chicken.

Hello. Hey.

You see?!

Yeah, and I-I could tidy up either once a day,

if you wanted to and all,

and I could make that place really neat.

She knows how fussy I am.

He can't iron.

He's not worth a damn, mechanically.

I could take classes, nights!

I could do it! I could learn!

And then I'd never be in your hair!

I could learn to be handy and...

Just one thing, you know the little Sony,

the seven inch set that's down in the, in the maid's room.

Now, if I could just have that,

you'd never even know I was around.

But would you be happy?

[chuckling]

Happy? Would I be happy? Of course I'd be happy!

I wouldn't have any incompetent help to yell at!

I could devote my time to work

and no more social responsibilities-- [hysterical crying]

Alright, everybody off.

Why don't we have a drink and work out the boilerplate?

You name it.

Wait a minute now, you be careful.

The one thing he's good at is selling.

♪♪

Long ride for 25 cents.

No matter. No matter, a deal is a deal.

Even if it's not in writing.

You trust Lenoch, Lenoch trusts you.

Now, I want you to be satisfied

because what could be more important than goodwill?

You ask anybody,

Bill Lenoch thrives on goodwill!

He eats--

He eats, drinks, breathes goodwill!

And Lenoch believes in racial freedom, too.

Lenoch believes in sexual freedom, any kind of freedom,

and the only thing Lenoch wants is his life,

and that is a reasonable deal.

That is a guarantee.

Drive it off the lots deal.

You can't afford

to turn down...

[labored breathing]

Come on, Fuzzy! Cut him off at the back!

Act now!

Act now!

Don't let this opportunity pass by!

Let him live! Let him live!

Squish!

Squish! Squish!

Squish! Squish! Squish!

Squish!

[grunting]

Squish! - Hey.

That's enough. - Hey, you leave me alone.

This is a family affair.

- That was supposed to be my job. - Ugh, I don't need you, Fuzzy.

There, I see it!

Fuzzy, I never needed you!

That should do it. That should be enough.

Okay!

Come on.

Let's... Let's lug him over to his golf club.

Huh?!

We could...

We could dump him in the sand trap

and make it look like he got hit by a golf ball.

[laughing]

Hey! What about that, huh?

Hey...

Where are you?

Hey, Bone?

Where are you?

Bone!

Bone, why are you running out on me like this?

Bone!

Where...

I can't move him myself.

I...

Oh!

You can't expect me to m--

...to move him myself.

Hey, Bone?

Where are you?!

Bone?

[somber music ♪]

It was a black.

It was a...

a huge...

black man.

Of course I resisted.

I have marks all over my body.

If you care to see them now, I'll show you.

I'm-I'm completely marked by him.

I told him that there were no roaches!

See, I kept fighting him!

I said there were no roaches in the house.

He kept insisting that he wanted to exterminate them.

I have very close friends, and-and I care very much about civil rights.

Well, he just looked like a big nigger.

He killed my husband.

It was a black man.

You see, my husband

believes in equality for the black man.

And my husband felt great, uh, compassion. He...

was a-a very compassionate man.

He was so big and so strong and grotesque.

I just identified him, an identified nigger.

No, call them colored.

Oh, I am cooperating.

I can give you a complete description.

Let me describe him to you.

He was a very--

I kept saying there are no roaches.

This is a perfectly clean house.

A huge, black man.

I can, uh...

I can give you a full description of him.

You see, I saw everything

before he...

raped me.

He killed my husband.

I mean, how do you expect me to feel about him?

Of course he fought him.

But he isn't one of those Africans, you know,

he doesn't have a lot of big hair or anything.

An afro.

He just had regular hair.

He was an afro.

He had it big, and he had bones tied around his neck.

He looked like a hippie.

Don't call them negroes.

We were just completely helpless.

He didn't want a job. He didn't wanna work. His fly was always open.

He smelled,

and he had work clothes, like a janitor.

Like they used to look, like they should look.

[boom]

I don't know whose idea it was! It couldn't have been mine.

I'd remember.

[sniffling] I'd remember.

Wouldn't I?

I'd remember, wouldn't I?

Wouldn't I?

Wouldn't I?

♪♪