Original subtitles

Once upon a time,

there were three little girls who went to the police academy,

two in Los Angeles...

the other, in San Francisco,

and they were each assigned very hazardous duties...

but I took them away from all that,

and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.

Good.

13.

78.57.

Hut, hike!

Defense, block that pass, go for it!

Oh!

Oh, I think I stepped in a gopher hole.

F-42 is straight out and break right.

You went left.

F-42 is to the left.

It's to the right.

Right.

I mean, Grinelda's right.

F-42 is to the right.

Oh.

Oh, that's okay.

Don't worry about it, Pokey.

You'll do better tomorrow.

Okay, everybody.

Hit the showers.

Thanks for coming, Dad.

What do you think? Can you help us?

It's a disaster.

Any members of the team been hurt, Amy?

Not yet,

but I got the two threatening phone calls

and then, yesterday,

there was this incident with the motorcycles.

Yeah.

And you don't know whether they were men or women?

No.

One of them may have been black,

but I'm not even sure about that.

Well, what about the phone caller?

Man or woman?

The voice was disguised.

Whoever it was told me

that I'd better disband the Ducks,

and I'd regret it if I didn't.

Well, I think

they should pack it in anyway.

What I seen so far,

they don't have a prayer of winning.

Are you talking about the game

for next Sunday, at the Coliseum,

when you play, who is it, the Panthers?

That's the first exhibition game

for what we hope will become

a genuine big-time women's football league.

Well, I've seen the Panthers' scrimmage,

and I've seen the Ducks' scrimmage.

It's gonna be a bloodbath.

Girls, you'll need a cover.

Kelly, Sabrina, didn't you both play on a football team

when you were at the Police Academy?

No, no. Tell him no. Tell him no. No, no.

Oh, well, that's right, Charlie,

but we didn't have much of a choice.

Um, Sabrina played quarterback... No!

No.

And did some kicking and I played running back.

Well, Amy's been quarterbacking, sort of.

Well, that's okay.

I'd rather do the kicking, anyway.

Dan, as an ex-pro fullback,

do you think you can shape them up?

Figuratively speaking.

Well, I can try, but you know where I think

these girls ought to be spending their time?

Including my daughter.

In the kitchen.

How'd you know I was going to say that?

Well, lucky guess.

Whew.

Well, now...

Amy, your Dad sure has a way about him.

Well... He doesn't mean to be difficult.

It's just that he's had a lot of disappointments

in his life.

You see, my mother died when I was born.

Dad always wanted a son.

Amy,

I think he's got a pretty nice daughter.

Hear, hear.

That's for sure.

Well, good luck, Angels.

Don't pick up too many bruises.

Okay, bye, Charlie.

Oh. wait a minute.

I'm totally inexperienced.

What position am I going to play?

Okay, J-37 on two.

Ready?

Break!

Thanks a lot, Charlie.

Set.

And... 29... 48...

Hey, I'm kind of new at this. Ooh!

A little too rough for you, precious?

Terrific catch, Pokey.

Terrific. Are you okay?

Oh, I'm not sure.

Let me see.

Oh, you're fine. Take a hot shower.

Terrific catch.

Okay, next play.

Next play, come on.

Oh, Judy?

Oh!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Are you all right?

Oh, it's nothing.

Couple of broken ribs. I've got more.

I'm so clumsy.

Oh, no, look, I was just kidding you.

I'm fine.

You're, uh, you're Pokey, aren't you?

My name is really Elizabeth Mary Jefferson.

Pokey is just something I picked up

on account of I'm so clumsy.

Who are you?

Oh, I'm Bosley. John Bosley.

Are you a new coach or something?

Uh, yeah, or something.

Look, can I buy you a cup of coffee?

You mean to drink?

Yeah, it's good that way.

Oh, no, what I mean is, well, most people don't ask me.

No, I mean, uh...

Uh, you... I mean, I'd like that. Yeah.

Oh, okay, come on.

Okay. J-37 on two.

Ready?

Break!

All right.

Ready, set...

29... 42... 56... Hut one, hut two.

Okay, okay. Hit the showers.

Aw... Bump your nose, Precious?

If you would take a quick look

at the defense

just before you made your cut,

you'd stand a lot better chance

of not getting creamed like that.

You talk like you've been there.

I didn't take that look once.

Took a hit from the sides.

End of knee. End of career.

I'll keep that in mind.

How did a flower like you

get mixed up with this garden of thorns?

The thorns are okay.

They just need some loving strokes

to shape them up.

The lady is not only pretty, she's got a kind heart.

Well, why, throw rocks

when you can throw a rose or two?

Nice thought.

Joe Phillips.

Kelly Garrett.

Do you work around here?

Uh, no.

I just drop in, watch the scrimmage.

Every day?

Mostly.

Once a jock, always a jock.

Listen,

I'd sure like to give you some more tips

on how to survive on a football field.

Well, I could certainly use that.

How about some lunch?

There's a place that's called Dirty Jack's

on Pico.

Okay.

I'll meet you there. 12:30.

You got it.

19... Hup one, hup two..

Nice passing.

Thank you.

I'm Julia Smyth.

Hello. Sabrina Duncan.

I'm with the Panthers.

Oh. So what are you doing in the enemy camp?

Scouting.

I like your moves.

Whatever the Ducks are paying you,

I'll triple it.

Triple it?

Well, that could be a little expensive,

Miss Smyth.

It's Smyth, with a "y".

I own the team.

Uh, well, um, I'll... I'll think about it.

Please do.

I like winning... and you look like a winner.

What happened to you two?

A truck... Called Grinelda.

Who's the classy lady?

Oh, that's Miss Julia Smyth... with a "y,"

and she owns the Panthers.

The lady rides a motorcycle.

So it would seem.

Well, I think

you better take a little closer look

at Miss Julia Smyth with a "y."

Definitely.

61...

Come on, Panthers! Get them, Panthers!

Come on! Play like Panthers! Panthers, Panthers!

What do Panthers eat for lunch?

Come on, play like Panthers!

Go for it, like a Panther!

You want to wear the Panther uniform, be a Panther.

What do Panthers eat for lunch? Ducks!

Ducks, ducks!

All right, Panthers,

we're gonna make their feathers fly.

Get it on, Panthers.

61... 57... Hup, hup... Hup.

Get back, get back!

Defense, block that pass.

Block that pass.

Here to try on a winner's uniform?

Winning, uh, means a lot to you?

Doesn't it to you?

It's nice.

Sometimes you lose.

Oh, I don't know.

I never have... at anything I've tried.

And I'll do what I have to do to win every game we play.

Well, like I said... I'll think about it.

You should.

She the one you told me about?

Uh-huh.

She gonna suit up, try out?

Nope.

Then what's she doing here?

I don't know.

Hey, you don't think

she's figured out what we're doing?

I don't know.

78... 57... Hup, hup...

I've got to confess something.

I didn't think you'd show up here today.

Why wouldn't I show?

Well, you don't look like you need

a gimped-up ex-ball player in your life.

Well, I've got a confession to make, too.

Part of my reason for coming

was to ask you some questions.

About what?

You said you were at the Ducks' scrimmage,

day before yesterday.

Yes, I was. Why?

Then you saw the incident with the motorcycles.

What incident?

One of the players on the team, a girl named Pokey,

was terrorized

by two masked riders on motorcycles.

Motorcycles?

Day before yesterday?

Yeah, near the end of the scrimmage.

I'd left by then.

Why would anyone want to do that?

Somebody's been threatening the Ducks,

trying to get them

to pull out of the game on Sunday.

Why?

I don't know.

Point is, now that I'm on the team,

I'd... I'd like to know just what I'm getting into.

Hmm.

I don't blame you.

Do you know Julia Smyth?

Mm-hmm.

She owns the Panthers, doesn't she?

Yes.

Have you seen her at any of the Ducks' scrimmages?

Yeah, a few times.

Meaning more than once.

Yeah.

She's a tough lady.

Why do you ask?

No reason, just curious.

Gee.

Listen, I've got an appointment.

All right.

Let me just take care of the innkeeper...

and we're off.

Okay.

I've been meaning to ask

how you got started

in this crazy women's pro ball.

My daddy raised a tomboy, I guess.

I got nothing against lady athletes,

but it'd be a damn shame

to see you limping around like this.

Why ruin your life?

You figure a bad knee ruined your life?

I'm not what I want to be.

Being anything less than what you were,

that's being less than a man in my book.

That's not true.

It is true... if I feel that way.

Stop feeling that way.

Not so easy.

So who promised you easy?

Your daddy raised a stubborn tomboy.

Well, he didn't raise a quitter.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm okay.

Who the hell were those two guys?

I don't know.

Probably the same ones

who scared the daylights

out of Pokey two days ago.

But why?

What the hell's going on here?

Good question.

Well, I'm no artist, but something like this.

Listen, you know,

I talked to that girl Pokey,

and she said that one of the motorcycles

was rather distinctive.

Could have been a foreign model.

It was driven by a black person.

She didn't know whether it was a man or a woman.

Well, it all happened so fast,

I didn't get a good look at either one of them.

Bree, Miss Smyth with a "y,"

you saw her motorcycle.

Did it look anything like that?

No.

Well, it could be one of them.

Could have been, could not have been.

Well, I still think this is our best bet.

We get a line on this little gem...

Okay, so much for that.

Now, what about the people

in this little puzzle?

Charlie's already started on it.

He ran a computer check

on every girl on the Panther team.

So until we get the answers...

It is just "play ball."

Ready, set... 33... 78... 42... hup one,

hup two.

Check right.

Roger. Last play.

Hey, take her.

Good tackle!

That's the way. That's the way.

Yeah, baby, yeah.

Did Precious fall down and go boom?

She read the play.

What?

Grinelda, she read the play.

How does she do that? Read the play, I mean.

Some players have an instinct that way.

She's very good.

Dumb luck.

Have you, um... recovered from

our little battle with the motorcyclists?

I haven't figured out which is worse...

the masked motorcyclists or Grinelda.

They're both worse.

You thinking about turning in your football cleats

for a cookbook?

If I were, you saying you're interested?

If things were different with me... Yes.

You mean, if you weren't less than a man,

as you so colorfully put it at lunch yesterday?

You've got a good memory.

Yeah, even for dumb remarks.

Listen, Joe. I don't judge a man by whether he limps or not.

Hey, it's a winner's world.

That's what it's all about, winning.

Being one of the pretty people.

That's not true.

It is, if I feel it is.

You know, Joe, you are a cripple...

In your head.

If you ever shake it out, give me a call.

Well, hello, Precious.

Gonna wash some of that dirt off your nose?

How'd you like some skin off your nose?

Cutie pie, you're about a foot short

and 40 pounds shy of doing me any damage.

Hey.

How about me?

Think I can do you any damage?

Gonna cool her off?

Any doctor will tell you stress is very bad for you.

Stretch those legs!

Come on, look alive. Look alive.

One lap isn't enough? Maybe you need two.

Come on, run.

Hi, Miss Smyth.

I see you've made your choice.

Oh, yeah.

But you really don't look well in this.

Well, it, uh, it feels better.

I guess you wouldn't understand that.

Oh, I told you.

I couldn't understand how it feels to lose.

Well, you may have to learn, if we beat you tomorrow.

I wouldn't depend on that.

No, I'm not.

But you are.

And that's your problem, Miss Smyth with a "y".

Move it. Faster. Faster.

Hurry up. Keep going.

Come on.

You know...

I played my last pro game 15 years ago,

but I quit a winner.

Now, tomorrow, I got to watch my daughter

and the rest of these misfits make fools of themselves,

including me.

Mr. Jarvis,

you don't need any help making a fool of yourself,

and if you don't get in touch with your daughter,

you're gonna lose more than a football game.

Elizabeth.

Elizabeth?

Elizabeth... Mr. Bosley.

Hi. Listen.

Here, can I talk to you for a second?

I've got something I want to show you.

You called me Elizabeth.

Yeah, well, that's what you said your name was.

And you remembered.

You're the only one not to call me Pokey

since I left Morgan Forks.

Morgan Forks?

Nebraska.

Oh, I don't think I was ever there.

Well, it's so small you could almost send for it.

Listen, Elizabeth...

Is this familiar to you?

Yeah. My daddy's got a farm there.

Oh... Yeah. Well, um...

Is that one of the motorcycles

that scared you?

Yeah, I think so.

I can't be sure.

You see, I have dyslexia sometimes.

Well, I used to keep taking the wrong turns home from school

and getting lost.

That's how my daddy and Dr. Higgins figured it out.

I came out here to play football

so maybe I could earn some money and afford to get it fixed.

I'm sorry.

Would you run that by me again?

Oh, look.

Dyslexia is when...

Is when you see something one way

and your brain sees it another.

Oh, I see.

Well, from what I know about dyslexia.

What you're trying to tell me is,

someone writes this,

and sometimes, you see this.

Yeah.

That's why I keep

getting the plays backwards sometimes.

Listen, Elizabeth, I've got a doctor friend

who deals with this sort of thing,

so maybe I could... Oh, Miss Duncan.

I've been looking for you.

Look, Elizabeth,

maybe you and I could talk more about this later?

Tomorrow?

Yeah, tomorrow.

Bye, Pokey.

See you.

Oh, tomorrow. Excuse me.

Hi.

Making any progress?

Well, Pokey thinks

maybe that this is one of the motorcycles

that terrorized her.

It looks like the same one

that scared the daylights out of me.

Okay. I'll find out which dealers

sell this machine

and try to get the names of the recent buyers.

Hey, listen.

If we can wrap this thing up before tomorrow,

we won't even have to play the Panthers.

That's right.

Let's hope we don't wrap it up by tomorrow.

What?

Bree...

Hmm?

You want to play the Panthers?

I don't want to play the Panthers.

I want to beat the Panthers.

Oh.

Fading back to pass.

Looking downfield for a receiver...

He's rushed.

He gets it away.

Tatum breaks into the flat.

No good.

Ball is thrown behind him.

Time out's called, so we'll be right back.

See, on a pass to the flat.

You've got to give your receiver

an exact rhythm count

then you lead him by about four, maybe six yards,

depending on how fast he or she can run. See?

You know that looks like the coliseum

you're playing in today.

It is.

They have a game there last night?

No, last night there was a rock concert.

That's a replay of last week's all-star game.

You know, the all-stars drew

a really big crowd.

I'm afraid we're gonna draw considerably less

when we get there this afternoon.

So far, they've sold 396 tickets.

What? 396 tickets.

Is that all?

That's all.

The coliseum was donated, the tickets were cheap.

They got some free publicity,

but other than that, it was a big bust.

Amy had a nice dream,

but it just wasn't big enough

to fill that many seats.

If I may interrupt you jocks for a minute...

I covered the dealers that sell that motorcycle.

Well, did you get the names of some of the buyers?

Yes, I did, indeed.

There were 17 buyers of that machine

in this area last year.

I have eliminated 11 of them for various reasons.

"Out of the country" is one, sick in the hospital,

sold the machine... Bosley.

Was Miss Julia Smyth's name on the list?

There were names of girls on the list,

but, no, she's not here.

Any of the other Panthers?

Wait a minute.

They could have used different names

to buy those motorcycles.

I mean, it's possible.

Yeah, well, we still have six names

left to cover, so I suggest

that Sabrina and I take three

and Kris, you and Kelly take three.

All right, well, if we cover it in a hurry,

we can still make it

for the second half, you know.

Okay.

Okay, James Henderson.

Last name on the list.

Wonder how Bree and Bosley are doing?

We'll call them after we check this out.

Come on.

Mr. Henderson?

Pay dirt.

See you all later.

Okay.

Okay, don't hurt her.

Kris.

Wasn't that your friend, uh...

Joe Phillips.

What was he doing here?

I don't know...

But we better follow him and find out.

What was Joe doing at Henderson's place?

Where are they going?

Aren't we near the coliseum?

Yeah, a few blocks.

Okay, we better get Bree and Bosley

on the phone, have them meet us there.

Why?

What are those papers you took?

I don't know, but it looks like a blueprint

to rob the coliseum.

Okay, I'll wait here for Bosley and Sabrina.

Ladies and gentlemen,

for your half-time enjoyment,

a portion of the Hilldale High School

Junior Marching Band

has been performing for you.

Let's show them our appreciation

as they leave the field.

Kris, are you there?

Yeah, Kelly.

Bosley and Sabrina are with me.

Joe and Henderson just went into the men's room.

Well, there's no law against that.

Oh, yeah?

Look at this, Bosley.

You crawl right up the heating vents,

right into the roof vents.

And do what?

Lookit, you get right past all the patrol guards,

You come right...

This is a window, isn't it?

You come right around here

and you maybe have a rope,

you swing right into the security area

and right there is the safe.

With the receipts from last night's rock concert.

That's right.

There's probably a million in cash.

And the armored car won't be here

until this afternoon.

Bos, get on the phone, call the cops,

tell them what's happening,

and call the security system here,

tell them what's happening.

Kelly, we got it figured out.

We'll meet you at the administration building.

We're on the way.

Right.

Now, as we begin the second half

here at the coliseum,

the Ducks, who are kicking off, are now trailing seven to zero.

Here's the kick.

It's a long, high kick.

The Panthers' safety takes the ball

to the Panthers 18-yard line.

She breaks left.

She's getting good blocking.

She's up to the 30, the 35...

now she's picking up more blockers.

The 40, the 45...

The Panthers could break it wide open here.

Over the 50...

Only three Ducks tacklers in front of her.

She's down to the Ducks' 40.

She's to the 35.

She's caught and runs out of bounds

on the Ducks' 28-yard line.

Two of the Ducks' defensive players

were injured on that play.

Wait a minute.

Now a time out has been called.

So as we get under way in the second half,

the score,

the Panthers seven, the Ducks zero.

Now, those statistics indicate

the Panthers have had possession

nearly 80% of time,

and although the score doesn't reflect the statistics,

the Ducks appear to be

a very out-classed football team.

The Panthers, on the Ducks' four-yard line,

first down-goal to go.

Back field shift to the left, the ball is snapped,

quarterback sneak,

a huge pile-up on the goal line...

It's a touchdown!

Panthers, 13, the Ducks, nothing.

Okay, you. Hold it.

No, you hold it.

Do it and you're dead.

As the Panthers line up

for their extra-point attempt,

it's obvious that the Ducks defensive unit

has been greatly weakened by injuries.

I'll take the door.

Yeah.

But there's still some fight left in the Ducks!

The Panthers lead 13 to zero.

Okay, lay down.

Face down.

Hold it.

Okay, drop it.

Don't try it, Joe.

Please.

Back on the field,

the Panthers have fumbled.

It appears the Ducks have recovered.

First down at the 22-yard line.

You really didn't care if there was a game.

You just didn't want it to be here,

where it would get in your way.

Yeah.

I just can't seem to get a winning streak going.

Maybe you're going about it the wrong way.

Kelly, I... Come on.

Yeah.

Okay, fine.

Well, that was Charlie.

If anyone is still interested,

he completed his computer check

on the Panthers.

Anything interesting?

No, not really.

Except for one rather glaring coincidence.

Coincidence?

Yeah.

Your favorite monster, Grinaldi?

Grinelda. Grinelda. Grinelda.

Grinelda.

Well, anyway, it seems

that Grinelda and Miss Smyth with a "y"

were in the same sorority in college.

Well, look, I'm gonna turn in my report to Charlie.

You did a terrific job.

Why don't you take the rest of the day off?

See you all tomorrow.

Yeah, see you.

Yeah, right. Right... Bosley.

So why would Grinelda be playing for the Ducks?

No reason.

Unless... Unless what?

Unless she was a spy giving them the Ducks' plays.

Hey, that's right.

In scrimmage,

Grinelda played both offense and defense.

That's got to be it.

That's got to be what she's doing.

Well, then, how do we stop her?

Well, there's only one way.

Which is?

Well, we beat her at her own game.

Now, with a minute and a half

left to play, the score is...

Okay, let's try J-11.

Sweep left, on two.

Ready?

Break.

But I go right?

Right.

Ready... Set... 10...

Okay, shift right.

48... Hup one, hup two.

Sabrina Duncan fades back to pass.

No, it's a hand-off to Kelly Garrett!

She's breaking downfield right.

One tackler in front of her,

she avoids a tackle!

She avoids a second tackle!

She scores.

Kelly Garrett scores.

Well, it's better late than never.

This is beginning to look somewhat like a ball game.

The score is now Panthers, 13, the Ducks, 6,

and suddenly, the small crowd

that has braved the loneliness of this huge coliseum

seems to be getting its money's worth.

They're lining up now for the extra point.

Making the conversion attempt

is the Ducks' coach and manager Amy Jarvis.

There's the snap, the set... The kick!

And it's good!

The score is now Panthers, 13, Ducks, 7.

You gonna try an onside kick?

To the right.

Shift into an onside-kick right.

Ready?

Break.

With less than a minute to play,

the Ducks have suddenly come alive.

As the two teams line-up for the kickoff,

we can probably expect an onside kick.

Shift.

The Panthers are shifting sharply

to the left.

Sabrina Duncan will do the kicking.

Getting set now.

Here's the kick.

It is not an onside kick.

It is a high over-end ball

over the head of the Panthers' safety.

Kris Munroe breaks for it down-field... there's a fumble!

Wait a minute! Munroe recovers.

Kris Munroe recovers the ball for the Ducks!

I wonder if this is how O.J. got started.

It's the Ducks' ball, for a first down.

An incredible turn of luck for the Ducks.

The question now is,

will there be enough time to take advantage of it?

You said an onside kick.

Yeah, well, I changed my mind.

Okay.

What now?

Exactly.

All right, let's try something new, huh?

Are you crazy? 20 yards to go.

Less than a minute to play in the game,

and you want to try something

that we've never tried before?

Right. A pass to Pokey.

Look, Pokey, this is what you do.

You go straight out,

and then you go this way.

You got it?

Got it.

Okay, the rest of us

will set up for the regular F-42,

on two, all right?

Ready?

Break.

Listen, with Pokey's... Dyslexia.

Yeah, are you sure she's got it straight?

No, I'm definitely not sure,

but Grinelda is.

Got you.

As the Ducks break from the huddle

and come up to the line,

there's less than 20 seconds to play.

After that, it's all over.

They are nearly out of time.

They must get the ball into play.

The Ducks have got to get the ball into play.

The Ducks are gonna have to hurry.

The clock is running out. Four... three...

Two... Hup, hup!

The ball's snapped just in time.

Sabrina Duncan fades back looking for a receiver.

Pokey Jefferson, breaking left, no, right!

Duncan sees her.

Here's the pass. She gets it off.

It is good! Jefferson scores!

Ladies and gentlemen, the clock has run out

but the Ducks' will be given the opportunity

of making an extra point attempt.

If their attempt is successful, the Ducks will win this game.

All right, the teams line up.

The outcome of this ball game hangs in the balance.

Again making the extra point attempt

is Amy Jarvis.

There's a tremendous amount of pressure

on this little girl.

It's a tense, emotion-packed moment,

because it's all on the line right now.

Block that kick. Block that kick.

Here's the snap... The kick... It's good.

The Ducks win.

The final score...

The Ducks, 14, the Panthers, 13.

In an incredible come-from-behind finish,

the Ducks have taken the lead from the Panthers!

I said you looked like a winner.

I was right about that.

Well, I was right.

I mean, that's something, isn't it?

Yeah, that's something.

I'm proud of you.

Because we won?

Yeah.

If only you could have been proud of me for trying.

But it doesn't matter.

I started out doing this for you,

and ended up doing it for myself.

And you know what?

I don't need it anymore.

Any of it.

You've just seen my first and last game.

Amy...

I am proud of you.

Really, Dad?

Yeah.

Let me get this straight, Angels.

Julia Smyth had nothing to do

with terrorizing the players on our client's team,

is that right?

No, Charlie.

Joe Phillips and his friends deliberately used motorcycles

to terrorize Pokey and me

to make it appear Julia Smyth was involved.

Because Julia happened to ride a motorcycle, hmm?

Like we said, Charlie.

Joe Phillips didn't care

if the Ducks and the Panthers

played their game.

He just didn't want it to be on that day

in the coliseum,

where there'd be coliseum personnel and guards on duty.

You did very well, Angels.

I hope you didn't pick up too many bruises.

Well, don't worry, Charlie.

We're going to get some special clothes

to cover our bruises.

Yes, Charlie,

and we're going to give the bills to Bosley.

Yeah, I thought maybe

a few pairs of slacks and a coat.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

We charged our client very little on this job.

As a matter of fact, we only took expense money.

I thought maybe a few evening gowns.

A white maybe, and a black...

Some evening gowns?

Yeah, and I've got to have a new ski outfit.

I mean, I've got to have a new ski outfit.

A ski outfit? It isn't even snowing!

Charlie, would you get into this?