Original subtitles

Once upon a time,

there were three little girls who went to the police academy,

two in Los Angeles...

the other in San Francisco,

and they were each assigned very hazardous duties...

but I took them away from all that,

and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.

And then I switched the benefit in Chicago

with your personal appearance in Cincinnati,

and that way,

you can do the one-nighter in New York

on your way home from London,

before you hit Vegas

and pick up that gig in Dallas...

Without doubling back.

Yeah.

Look, Sam, if Ben's arrangements are satisfactory,

I think we ought to clear up these contractual matters

concerning your taxes.

Didn't I say never to mention taxes

while we're having a meal of any kind?

Okay, I'll sign for you, all right?

Yeah, go ahead and sign.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

You're him, aren't you?

Huh? Sammy?

Yes.

Sammy Davis, Jr.!

Yes, I am.

I knew it, I knew it.

It's amazing that you recognized me

because most people take me for Paul Newman.

Yeah, Paul Newman.

Oh, Mr. Davis,

could you do me a favor, please?

Could I have your autograph?

Not for me. For my sister.

Of course, it would be my pleasure.

It's never for them, it's always for their sisters.

I got a pen here somewhere.

Oh! Oh, God. I am...

Mr. Davis... I am sorry.

Don't panic. Don't worry about it.

Everything's okay. Don't worry about it.

Everything's all right.

I've gotta go to the little boys'

and I'll get this cleaned up.

Don't worry about it.

Please forgive me.

Let me pay for your cleaning.

It's not to worry.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute...

Flip Wilson!

I never done anything clumsy

to a star before.

Just don't worry about it, sir.

My sister's gonna kill me.

Well, that's all right.

My tailor'll probably kill me

for the coffee stains.

Look, it's okay.

I can take care of it.

I think I left my watch in here.

Anybody see it?

Ha, here it is...

Still ticking.

Hey, Flip!

You... you okay?

Angels, meet Ben Brody.

Ben is the business manager for Sammy Davis, Jr.

He needs our help, and immediately.

Someone is trying to kidnap Sammy Davis.

Two hours ago,

and they almost got him this time.

They used chloroform, but Sam's okay.

Excuse me, Mr. Brody.

You said "this time."

You mean they've tried before?

Yes, at the Las Vegas airport, three weeks ago.

Angels, starting tomorrow,

I want you to keep a very unobtrusive eye

on Mr. Davis

when he appears as the host of a charity fashion show

at the Beverly Seville Hotel.

The Beverly Seville is a very busy place.

It won't be easy to provide security there.

Well, have the police been notified?

Yes.

They're doing all they can, but I need... extra help.

Special help.

I need you.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

Sammy Davis, Jr.!

Thank you, you're beautiful. Thank you very much.

Welcome, welcome,

to this marvelous charity affair that we have once a year,

and I'm very proud to be asked back again

to be your host and emcee,

and if you're like me, you can't wait

to find out what our designers have whipped up

to drive everybody out of their minds this year.

Beginning with a fashion aperitif...

It's entitled,

"Daytime to Evening Extraordinaire."

Would you make the ladies feel comfortable

with a round of applause?

Our models.

Ben, you know I don't like arguments,

and it's not really an argument,

but I think you should've told me

before you went out and hired a bodyguard.

I don't know what I can tell you, Sam.

I care what happens to you.

Well, so do I,

but these people came to be entertained, Benny.

They're not involved with my meshugaas.

Believe me, Sam, no one will even know.

Oh, I have seen bodyguards.

I have seen bodyguards, Ben.

They're all seven-foot-six,

and they all have faces

that look like catchers' mitts.

Oh, Mr. Davis? Yes?

Excuse me, Kris Munroe, "On The Spot" News.

Do you think it would be possible

to get a small interview?

As long as you let the people know

that we're here for the Hospital Fund

and we need all the contributions we can get.

You got a deal. Okay.

Wonderful. Right over here.

All right. Good.

Are you ready?

Right.

It is not fashion alone

that brings the crowds here

to the Beverly Seville.

It is the desire to help others,

and every dime raised here today

will go to the special treatment wing

of the Children's Clinic,

and here is one of the stars

to make that all possible,

Mr. Sammy Davis, Jr.

Thank you, very, very much.

I would like to say...

You still think I'm seven-foot-six

with a face like a catcher's mitt?

What?

Townsend and Associates.

I'm working for you.

You?

You're working for me?

Uh-huh.

I think I'm gonna like this.

Sam, you're on.

We'll see you later.

You... That's groovy, man.

Before we go any further,

I would like to remind everyone in the room

that the big event,

besides the presence of these ladies,

is our famous Look-Alike Celebrity Contest,

which will be on later in the show,

so please hang in for that.

And you husbands,

get your checks ready because right now...

look out.

Let's see what's new

at the very smartest cocktail parties.

Hey, it went good, babe.

All right.

Hey, where's my bodyguard?

What did I tell you? Now, who would know?

Excuse me, I'm sorry.

Please excuse me for interrupting,

but I am Sabrina Duncan.

I am the chairperson... "chairperson..."

on the Committee for Giving

and I wondered how much

I should put you down for, Mr. Davis.

Put me down? We gave at the office.

Ben?

Mr. Davis, Mr. Davis,

please, please, let me assure you,

you have no obligation in the world

to contribute.

Okay.

It would be a very nice gesture.

A nice gesture?

Yes, it would.

Oh!

Thank you. Thank you.

There you are, just sign right there.

Mr. Davis, I'm one of your bodyguards.

If you should see anything out of the ordinary,

just give me a signal.

Thank you!

Thank you very much.

Bye, now. Thank you.

That's one of my bodyguards?

I think I'm gonna love danger.

Come on.

Mr. Davis?

Wrong!

I'm gonna give you one last chance,

now, you hear?

Mr. Davis, I'm Kelly,

another one of your bodyguards.

Ain't that nothing?

"Mr. Davis, Mr. Davis."

"Sammy Davis, Jr."

What makes you think

I look like Sammy Davis, Jr.?

Because let me tell you something, lady.

First of all, I am smarter than he is.

God knows I'm taller than he is,

and when it comes to looks, whoo!

I'm cool.

He's a fool.

Well, if you're not Sammy Davis, Jr.,

who are you?

Who am I?

Who am I?

I happen to be Herbert Brubaker III,

from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

I happen to be president and owner

of the H and B Boozaterias,

a fine chain of liquor stores.

Oh, I think I understand, Mr. Davis.

You prefer to be incognito, right?

Don't you talk no smut, girl.

I'm a veteran.

Well, I only meant

you didn't want to be recognized.

Recognized?

Will you come with me, please?

Come over here. Let me show you something.

Now, you look here.

See, that ain't Barbara.

That ain't Burt.

That ain't Jimmy Durante.

We're all here for that Look-Alike Contest.

If hadn't been

for my lodge hall asked me to come here

to hopefully help the hospital,

I wouldn't be here myself.

Now, have you got that perfectly clear?

And who did you say you were again?

Well, at this moment, it's not definite.

See you later.

Ladies and gentlemen,

at this time it becomes my pleasure

to introduce to you the finalists

in the Celebrity Look-Alike Contest.

This is what we've all been waiting for.

Come on, let's make them feel at home.

First, Mr. "Inky Dinky Doo" himself,

Marvin Mitchell.

Now our very own Barbara Streisand,

Miss Sally Wilson.

How about this look-alike for Mr. Burt Reynolds,

Scott Willoughby.

Finally, ladies and gentlemen,

Mr. Herbert Brubaker III.

All right.

Put it down.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, excuse me.

Could I... Could I help you?

Oh, we got a delivery for Mr. Davis...

May I see some identification then, please?

Sure.

Identification, it doesn't matter,

do you have any... identification?

Yeah, some gum... Just a second, please.

Just a second, please!

Bree, are you all right?

What happened?

Well, I think I just...

I think I just met the kidnappers.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the judges have decided

on the cat that looks the most like me...

Mr. Herbert Brubaker III.

Sir, congratulations. The cup is yours.

I... I... I don't want no cup.

You're supposed to take the cup,

Mr. Brubaker, you won the look-alike contest.

But you see, you don't understand.

I don't look like him.

You look exactly like Mr. Davis.

The judges said so, Mr. Brubaker.

What?

You do, you do! Please take the cup.

You think I look like that turkey?

Take the cup, please.

Okay, I'll take the cup.

It really is. I thank you very much.

Please give my love to the ladies, will you?

Oh, I will, I will.

There you go, darling.

I can't thank you enough, really.

It was so marvelous.

We can't thank you enough for coming again this year.

Well, thank you, darling.

That's awfully sweet of you.

There's just one small favor...

It's for Mr. Brubaker, your look-alike.

Oh, yes.

Well, we asked him

if there was anything we could do

before he went back to Pittsburgh.

That was probably a mistake.

Well, it seems he's heard

about your well-known collection of automobiles,

and we wondered,

if it wasn't too much of an imposition,

if you would...

Please, please. Don't even bother yourself.

He may come over to the house, see them...

As a matter of fact, better than seeing them,

I'll let him even drive the one of his choice.

Oh, how very, very kind of you, Mr. Davis.

My pleasure.

Thank you so much.

And please remember me

to the rest of the ladies at the committee.

I will. What a joy it was to work with you.

See you next year.

Mr. Davis, I'm Kelly, your third Angel.

Oh, hello, Kelly.

Wait a minute.

You are Sammy Davis, Jr., aren't you?

Well, let me put it this way, dear.

We're on our way to a house,

and if there's a gorgeous cocoa-brown lady...

Ooh, dynamite...

and she looks at me and goes, "Hey, baby,

what took you so long to get home?"

then I'm Sam.

2:00 and all is well.

Thanks, Bos.

♪ What kind Of clown am I? ♪

♪ What do I know of life? ♪

Mm-hmm.

♪ Why can't I cast away ♪

♪ This mask of play ♪

♪ And live my life? ♪

♪ Why can't I Fall in love ♪

♪ Till I don't Give a damn? ♪

Let me hear it.

♪ And maybe then I'll know ♪

♪ What kind of fool... ♪

♪ Sting... ♪

♪ I am ♪♪

Make sure you give me the sting at the end.

I'll catch you guys tomorrow. Take care of business for me.

Mañana.

It's all finished. Ta-dah.

Sammy, I knew there was more to this

than you let on.

What do you mean?

You know, he even tried

to make out what happened at the restaurant

was just a couple of drunks having fun.

Darling, the only thing

I tried to do was not get you involved

in something that wasn't all that important

from the get-go. That's all.

I haven't had one easy minute since this started.

Kelly, you know what I think?

I think he should just cancel everything

and we should go away for a while.

Go... Go away?

Go away where?

How about Paris?

That'd be a nice place to go.

Oh, sure. Paris is marvelous, darling,

because nobody knows me in Paris, you see,

and there's a lot of shops and you could go shopping,

and... just one second.

Would you hold that?

Kelly, would you excuse me just a moment?

Because I think Altovise and I are about to have

one of the fantastic fights of all time.

Sure. I'll wait in the next room.

Thank you, Kelly.

Will you do me a favor and just relax, Alto?

Everything is groovy.

Sit by me, over here.

There you go.

That's a bodyguard?

Yeah.

Ninety-eight pounds of police-trained dynamite.

Just remember one thing, darling.

What, babe?

Let us not forget who is protecting whom.

Davis is inside there. I'm positive.

The others are left,

and there's nobody outside

but the chauffeur.

They won't be expecting us

to make our move so soon, Mr. Fluellen.

It'll be a surprise.

Yeah, you're right, Georgie.

Nobody in their right mind

would expect anybody to bungle a kidnap so bad

and still try again!

Bad luck, that's all. Bad luck.

You're right.

The bad luck is all mine, pal...

working with you two losers.

Okay. We move.

We take out the chauffeur first,

cut the phone lines, then inside...

If there's security people,

waste them.

Looks small to me.

Ooh-ee!

Oh. I didn't see you.

Kelly didn't tell me that you were outside.

Kelly who?

The one inside.

Mm. I want this baby.

I love everything about it

from stem to stern.

I can dig it.

I want it.

This is the one I want right now.

Oh, well, it's ready.

I mean, the keys are in it.

After all, I mean, it is all yours.

Isn't it? Now, look, uh...

You ready?

Yeah.

All right. Here we go.

I don't think this is a very good idea, Mr. Davis.

Why don't you let me call Kelly,

and then she can ride with you?

I don't need no Irish person

to help me drive this car,

and I want you to do me one favor.

I want you to stop calling me "Mr. Davis."

Oh, well, I'm sorry. Uh... Sam?

Back up.

Look out! The Bru is on the move!

Ow! Can't stand myself.

It's him.

It's Davis in that car.

Hey, Kelly!

The kidnappers, they're after him!

After who?

Oh, wait... Wait a minute!

They're kidnapping the wrong man!

They're in a van!

The wrong... Come on!

Sabrina? Sabrina, come in.

Woo-ee!

All of y'all get out of the way.

Here comes the Bru.

You better watch out what you're doing, fool!

You must be crazy.

Do you know you almost hit my car?

Does this car look like some little turkey thing?

Don't you get rough with me. Back up.

Now, I am mad enough, because you came so close,

to try your jaw go upside your head.

Now, don't you make no kind of funny...

Don't you make no...

The kidnappers have him.

Have who?

The wrong one.

Herbie Brubaker?

The third.

Oh, that poor little guy.

You guys find him, okay?

Whatever it takes, whatever it costs,

find him.

You know the reason why that man is in trouble?

Because that poor schlub happens to look like me.

That's the only reason,

and I feel terrible about it.

Oh, take it easy, babe.

It's not your fault that he looks like you.

Listen, believe me,

we understand how you feel.

We'll do everything we can to help.

We have a lead on the two kidnappers.

But we'll need your cooperation.

Well, of course. Anything.

Well, as we see it,

as long as the kidnappers think

they have the real Sammy Davis,

it's in their interests

to keep him alive and healthy.

Right, at least until the ransom comes through.

You see, I feel

that our logical course of action right now...

is to let the kidnappers think they've succeeded.

That they kidnapped you.

No, that's... No, no, no.

That'll never work, John.

As soon as I show up in Las Vegas

or as soon as I do a television show,

or as soon as I do any gig,

as a matter of fact, they'll know...

Yeah...

Now I see where you're coming from.

I don't do Vegas.

I don't do any gigs.

I don't do no television show.

I don't do nothing for nobody,

at no time, right?

Right.

You stay in the house, out of sight,

and you don't tell anybody,

not even Ben Brody or your best friends

that you're actually safe.

Well, you don't have to worry about Ben.

After all, that's my main man.

Uh... Sammy, look, we are in no way

accusing Ben Brody of anything

but we cannot take any chances.

As much as I hate

to suggest the possibility, Sam,

this kidnapping scheme

could have been hatched close to home.

Wow... That's heavy.

That's really heavy.

Hey, babe.

I think you should do as they say.

Ben'll understand when it's all over.

I hope so. I really hope so, honey.

He will.

You done blew it. I mean, blew-ew-ew it!

What do you mean, we blew it?

We've got you, don't we?

Yeah, you got me.

You got me.

What I mean is that you got me,

but you don't got no Sammy Davis, Jr.

You know who you turkeys are gazing at? Hmm?

You are looking at Herbert Brubaker III.

I got my card.

Wait a minute. There it is.

Herbert Brubaker III.

President of H and B Boozaterias.

That's what it says, Mr. Fluellen.

Brubaker.

What is this? Anybody can print up cards.

I can have cards printed up

saying that I'm the Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem.

This is nothing more than a shabby attempt

to weasel out of your own kidnapping.

You think we got the wrong guy?

No, of course not. But if we did...

the poor sucker we got would be in a lot of trouble.

I mean, if this isn't Sammy Davis,

then all we got's a witness, somebody who can identify us.

We got no chance for a ransom.

I mean, why keep him alive?

But if this is Davis...

How can we be sure?

The real Sammy Davis sings and dances.

Come on, now.

Give me some room to move and groove!

Set?

You ready, Mr. Brody?

I'm ready.

Hello?

Hello?

Who is this?

This is Ben Brody. Mr. Davis' manager.

You know why I'm calling.

I want to talk business to the right person.

What have you done with Sammy?

Is he all right? I want to talk to him.

No. First, you listen.

You want to see him alive again,

you're going to follow my instructions.

All right, all right.

I'm listening.

You are to collect

$375,000 in unmarked bills...

Nothing larger than a $50,

nothing smaller than a $5,

serial numbers to be at random.

The money will be delivered according to instructions,

which you will receive by telephone

in exactly eight hours.

Uh...

It's not enough time. That's a lot of money.

Eight hours, I said. No extensions.

Now, you get the money and be ready for my phone call.

How do I know Sam's all right?

Put him on. Let me talk to him.

I'm gonna put him on,

but I don't want any tricks,

you understand?

No tricks.

Hey, this is Sammy. What's happening, baby?

Sam? This is Benny.

Are you okay?

Oh, sure, Lenny.

I'm fine.

Lenny?

This is Benny. Ben Brody.

Sam, are you okay?

Oh, of course I am, Denny.

I guess I just got a little shook up

from what's going on down here.

Listen...

Eight hours.

Lenny? Denny?

What's he trying to tell us?

$375,000...

How long will it take you to raise that kind of money,

Mr. Price?

375 grand. In eight hours?

They might as well ask us for the moon.

Maybe not. Maybe not.

There's the corporation account.

I can run the last deposits through, and then...

Let me figure.

You know, Andy's a mathematical genius,

but he can't print the money.

We can make it.

I can get the rest through the pension trust fund.

We can do it.

You know, I never thought

I'd be glad about going broke.

Andy and I will get the cash

and we'll be back as soon as we can.

Right.

See you later.

$375,000.

That's an awful strange amount, isn't it?

Yeah, it's kind of odd. Why not 400?

Uh-huh.

And only a few hours to get it together.

Well, it sounds to me like our kidnappers

know an awful lot

about Sammy's bank accounts.

Yeah.

We got eight hours.

I think we better find out everything we can

about Ben Brody and Andy Price.

Well, the two of them

share an office together on the Strip.

Now, Price probably handles the books.

Yeah.

If we could just get in there...

I got an idea.

Why don't you let me handle that one?

You got it.

Hey, wait. Keep in touch.

Hey, Kris?

Yeah?

Be careful.

Thanks, Bosley.

Come on.

Hi!

I'm Taffy.

Oh, that's nice.

Did you wish to see Mr. Brody or Mr. Price?

Oh, well, gee.

I'm kind of surprised

that Andy isn't here waiting for me,

because he told me to be here right at 10:00,

or he'd get real mad.

Mr. Price called,

he's had kind of an emergency come up.

I don't see an appointment for you,

Miss, uh... Taffy.

Oh, no, it wasn't really

an "appointment" appointment.

See, Andy was gonna take me to the race track

so that we could discuss my career.

And... Oh, I remember!

He said that if he wasn't here

that I should wait for him in his office

so that people wouldn't get the wrong idea...

What did he mean by that?

I'm sure I don't know, dear.

Why don't you come this way?

Perhaps you can wait here

until I can reach Mr. Price.

Just make yourself comfortable.

Thank you.

Well, Andy Price

may be a mathematical genius,

but he's an awful embezzler.

Of course, I guess no one

can conceal that much money missing

for very long.

Look, the office records

show that there was supposed

to be an audit next week.

That means he was running out of time.

I don't know.

I mean, I can't believe it.

We've already got an identification

on two of the kidnappers.

Now, they're a couple of small-time musclemen,

but word on the street has it

they work for somebody else,

a gambler named Fluellen.

I found this in Andy Price's desk drawer.

He called this number six,

maybe seven times a day.

So I checked it

with a friend on the Vice Squad,

and it's Fluellen's number.

If Andy needed money,

why didn't he come to me?

He may have needed a lot.

Fluellen must have a real hold on him.

You see, the way it looks

is Andy owes a big marker to Fluellen,

so he starts embezzling from you to pay off,

and he just gets in deeper and deeper.

And so he helps them

to set up this kidnapping.

Don't feel too sorry for him, Davis.

You're right, babe.

And I know who I do feel sorry for.

♪ Who can take a sunbeam ♪

♪ Put it in a dream? ♪

♪ Who can take a number ♪

♪ Never complain ♪

♪ Candy man ♪

♪ Candy man can ♪

♪ Candy man can 'cause he... He mixes it with love ♪

♪ Makes the world taste good Makes the world taste good ♪♪

55... 65... 75... $375,000.

Easy come, easy go.

Ben.

Okay.

Hello. This is Ben Brody.

Are you ready for the delivery?

Yes.

Look, my associate, Mr. Bosley, will bring the money.

I'm... I'm too shook up to drive.

I don't care who it is,

but only one guy. No cops.

You understand?

I see cops, and Davis is gone.

Yes.

Now, here are your instructions.

I'll give them to you just once.

Now, drive to the phone booth

on the south corner of Tobin and 15th Street.

You wait there. We'll call.

You've got 15 minutes.

Tobin and 15th.

Well, I'd better hurry.

Boy, that's heavy.

John, good luck, and, uh, thank you.

You're welcome.

Stay in touch on the walkie-talkie.

Will do.

Well, that's it.

Just wait now, huh?

I feel guilty about having John

take the risks.

I should be doing that myself.

There's not really that much risk.

No, don't worry about old Bosley.

He'll be well taken care of.

What do you mean?

You didn't bring the police in on this, did you?

You heard what the kidnappers said.

You're risking Sam's life.

Oh, no, they're not.

Ta-dah!

You're okay?

I'm all right.

Hey, what's... What's going on?

What's this all about?

Well, uh...

they kidnapped the wrong guy.

They kidnapped that little cat

that looks like me.

You know, the guy from the contest.

Sam, I don't believe it.

I was going nuts.

Well, I'm sorry you had to go through it.

We didn't want to take the chance

on anyone knowing

until we were ready to act.

What do you mean?

What else is there we don't know?

What we did is,

we put a small electronic signaling device

in the suitcase that Bosley just took out.

Now, when he hands that suitcase

to the kidnappers...

all the police have to do

is follow that signal right to them.

Good.

Then maybe we'll find out who's behind all this.

Yeah.

Hey, look, I know it's been kind of heavy

for both you cats for the last few hours,

so why don't you go home and collapse, huh?

The police are on it,

and with the girls, we'll have it wrapped up,

and I'll give you a call and let you know.

Go home? Yeah.

What do you mean, go home?

I am going to celebrate.

Well, I'm exhausted.

This is... been some experience.

Sam, I'm glad you're all right, man.

Thank you.

I'll call you, right?

All right. Okay.

I'll talk on you tomorrow.

Yeah.

Bree, he's coming.

I hope he bought that electronic signal business.

Wait a minute.

What? Andy?

Andy's mixed up in this?

Yeah, Ben. I'm afraid so.

Oh, no.

Hurry, Price just drove off.

Hello.

You are now to drive to Glendale and Orchid.

Phone booth on the corner. You've got five minutes.

Okay...

I'll stay with him.

Kelly, do you read?

We have a location. Oceanside, north of Manning.

What are you talking about?

I'm telling you that guy is not Sammy Davis.

His name's, uh, uh...

Brewster or something.

Brubaker!

I told you.

He told us.

Shut up. Both of you.

Shut up!

What are we gonna to do?

Well, we've got to let him go. He's worthless.

What do you mean, I'm worthless?

I got a chain of liquor stores.

What you got, chump?

Shut him up.

No.

No, we're not letting anybody go.

Lou, please, let's just get out now, huh?

No.

No, no, no. I'm not...

I'm not walking out of here empty-handed.

Look. We don't have a choice.

What do you mean?

They got no case against us

without a witness.

What are you talking about?

- I - mean, you didn't think

I was gonna let him

walk away in any case, did you, Andy?

Lou, please.

You said no one was going to get hurt.

There's only one witness.

No, I'm afraid now there are two.

Hey... uh...

Sam, you better stay here.

No, no, no.

My face got little Herbie into this mess.

I'm gonna stay until the very end.

Come on. You go to work.

Okay, now, there's an office

in the back... One door, one window.

I distinctly heard Andy Price's voice.

All right, there's at least three of them in there.

What we need is a distraction out front.

Hey, you got it.

Wait a minute, Sammy. I...

No, no, no. Wait a minute.

Let me do my thing,

because that's what I do.

Give me about five seconds

and then you guys do your thing.

Hey... Sammy Davis!

Hey, you little turkey!

What was that?

I know you in here.

Georgie, go on. Take a look.

I know a turkey, and I know his whereabouts.

Come on out.

I see you, chump!

You ain't no big thing, you know.

Tell Sammy Davis that the Bru is here

to... get ready for the showdown.

Go ahead. Tell him.

Shoot!

Tell him!

Mr. Fluellen, it's him.

Huh?

Not the real him, the other one...

The one we don't got.

He's outside.

What the hell are you talking about?

Go on, go on. Help him.

Freeze!

Move over here.

Okay, hold it. Hold it.

Go.

Get in there.

Real slow. Over to the wall.

Andy? Andy?

He's out. I think he's okay. Let's go.

Get against the wall.

Against the wall!

Get those feet apart.

What about me?

I mean, I been down here on this floor, man.

Got all roughed up.

The man roughed up my duds and everything.

Sure is nice, you know.

Everything has been taken care of.

Not that I was scared or anything.

Oh, of course not.

I ain't scared of nobody.

I ain't lying, Junior. I ain't scared of nobody.

Oh.

Because I learned how to use my dukes...

And I don't look like nobody either,

because I am an original.

Right on, Herbie.

Hello!

Hey, hi!

Holy Toledo, you guys look terrific.

Thank you.

Well, we've been looking forward to it.

I can't wait.

I hope you've heard

that we've arranged for Andy

to pay back the money

so that he won't have to go to jail

like the other guys.

Well, some time in jail,

those other guys richly deserve.

Yeah.

You know, I am so pleased

that you're joining us for the opening tonight.

Well, we are thrilled.

Now, you have to tell us.

What kind of an opening is it?

You mean he didn't tell you?

No. No.

Well, darling, Ben took care

of the tables and everything,

so I just figured that...

an opening is an opening.

So, come on, let's go.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Sam, now we've all been guessing...

I guessed it.

It's the new discotheque on the Strip.

No, no, no, no, no.

It's that new French restaurant.

Reservations are impossible, right?

No. Wrong.

It is a movie premiere.

Aha! Wrong.

Again.

Now, wait.

Wait till you hear this.

Okay, go ahead. Tell them.

We are all invited... Uh-huh?

As special honored guests

to the super grand opening of...

Herbert Brubaker III's Boozateria West.