Original subtitles

Once upon a time,

there were three little girls who went to the police academy,

two in Los Angeles...

the other in San Francisco,

and they were each assigned very hazardous duties...

but I took them away from all that,

and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.

This is ZL 5883 to ZL 114. Do you read?

This is ZL 114. Go ahead, Joy.

I'm at the assignment, Gary, but nobody's here.

Are you sure you got the right instructions?

The guy said Beamer Park, South entrance.

I wrote it down. All right.

Well, let's stay in open transmission.

I'm gonna get out and take a look around.

Oww!

Angels, you've heard Joy Vance's story.

The police have the bullet,

if we can find the gun to match.

You couldn't see anything?

No, it was too dark. Ha!

But, yesterday a man phoned the station and said,

"Tell Vance she won't live to regret that story,"

and then he hung up.

What story? JOY: I don't know!

I cover as many as 20 assignments in a week.

When you report on a story, Joy,

do you always meet the people involved?

No. Sometimes I do phone interviews.

And then, sometimes when I'm on an investigation,

some of the people involved won't talk to me.

So the people who listen to you on the radio,

they don't know what she looks like.

Charlie, if one of our voices was similar to Joy's,

couldn't we make a switch and fool the listeners?

Bosley, tell the Angels what you've been doing

behind their backs.

Well, I secretly tape recorded

our meeting earlier this morning,

and then I sent it over to Joy's radio station.

Bosley, are you aware that bugging is against the law?

Yeah, Bosley, people in very high places

have found that it leads to, uh, job insecurity.

Now, Angels, he was only following my orders.

Go ahead, Bosley.

Well, anyway,

the radio engineers made a comparison

of each of your voices with Joy's.

And the winner is?

Kelly.

It might be extremely dangerous.

If you'd rather not do it...

Are you kidding?

The chance to be a roving reporter?

The chance to broadcast from one of those mobile units...

The chance to get caught between a rock and a hard place.

Joy, is there a possibility that somebody at the station

could be behind this?

I hate to think so.

But, I guess it is a possibility.

In which case, then,

the telephone call would be a red herring.

I've taken that into account.

As a matter of fact, you're all going to be working for KBEX.

Kelly will replace Joy,

and Sabrina, I hope you like heights.

You'll be assigned to the helicopter.

Great.

Kris, you'll be working undercover.

What about Bos?

My dear, you are looking

at KBEX's new News Assignment Editor.

So, show a little respect.

Well, let's hope the old saying holds true.

Which is?

No news is good news, Bosley.

Ohh!

Mr. Townsend asked me to check you out on the equipment

and the procedures.

You see, I'm the only editor who knows why you're really here.

Gary, Joy told us there's somebody at the station

who might be a suspect.

Right. Let's go in Joy's office.

Oh, thank you.

You're welcome.

The suspect is Buck Willis, the helicopter pilot.

Oh, terrific!

That's the guy I got to spend two weeks with

up in that little plastic bubble?

And at 5000 feet you'd better keep him laughing.

The word "macho" was invented for Buck.

He flew in Vietnam before he came here.

So he got used to doing his own announcing.

Weather, traffic and so on.

And then we put Joy up there with him.

The audience loved her.

Has he ever threatened Joy?

Well, we've heard reports.

But of course, he was drunk at the time.

Oh, well, he was drunk.

Anyway,

Joy has left the files out for the most likely suspects.

Great.

Mr. Bosley, shall I check you out first?

Oh, ah, Bosley's ready.

Oh, boy, is he ready.

Oh, yeah, the agency may be a little dull after this.

Oh, Bosley, I hope we don't lose you to Barbara Walters.

Oh ho ho ho!

You'll find the call letters

for each of our units, here.

And the assigned frequencies are listed, here.

All you have to do is indicate

which frequency you're going through

and then use normal two-way radio procedures.

Assignment editor!

Gosh, I never dreamed

when I was working on the college paper

that someday I would be running an all-news radio station.

Did they have all-news radio stations back then?

Dwayne Hanson.

Served 18 months in prison

for selling stolen motorcycle parts.

Claims Joy Vance's reports prejudiced the jury.

Threatened to kill her.

A reporter's life is a laugh a minute.

Ah, wait, I got another one.

Professor Arthur Croyden

does research in immunology at Western Pacific University.

Claims he's developed an anti-toxin

against the common cold.

Joy did a follow-up, found a half-dozen scientists who said

Croyden's work was based on false data.

And the professor blamed Joy for destroying his reputation?

You got it.

Oh, here's one I might as well take

as long as I'm driving around out there.

Ernie Quinlan.

He beats up his wife when he gets bored.

Cute.

Let's see, Quinlan sued Joy for invading his privacy.

Seems she interviewed his wife in the hospital.

When it got thrown out of court, Quinlan swore he'd get even.

He's gonna know what Joy looks like.

Well, I'll tell him...

I'll tell him I'm a follow-up reporter.

I want to get at this one.

Remember one thing, no police brutality.

I'm not on the force anymore.

Kelly!

Well, I'm not!

Standard mobile unit equipment:

bullet-proof vest, gas mask and so on.

Okay.

Oh, here, roll of dimes.

Just in case you have to go "land line."

What line?

A fancy term for phoning in your story.

Always, always carry lots of dimes.

But there's a two-way radio in the unit.

You just showed me how to work it.

None of it's worth a damn in certain parts of the city,

or in an underground garage or a ravine.

There's no way you can reach us.

You mean, if I get into trouble.

Oh.

Any more questions?

Just one.

How about an opening in the secretarial pool?

The blaze broke out at approximately 9:30 a.m.

according to Fire Captian Daryl Loftus.

By the time it was discovered approximately half an hour later

it had spread rapidly between the walls

and almost the whole structure was involved.

The two victims died of smoke inhalation

in the first few minutes of panic.

The greatest danger for the moment, we are told,

is a certain amount of potentially explosive

plastic materials in an adjacent building,

not as yet touched by the fire.

K-BEX, all-news radio, editor's desk.

Tell Joy Vance

she won't live to regret that story.

Tell her to get off the air.

Who is this? What story are you talking about?

Because I won't miss the next time.

Uh, wait a minute, don't hang up.

I want to talk...

The police have already had to make serveral arrests.

So, again, we ask for your cooperation.

This is Joy Vance at the scene of a major fire

in the city of Compton.

ZL 5883 this is ZL 114, over.

ZL 5883, over.

Kelly, we had a call.

It was a male voice.

Threatened to shoot Joy

if she didn't quit broadcasting.

I think we're dealing with a psycho.

He could be listening, so I'd get out of there if I was you.

Right. I'll check out that wife-beater, Quinlan.

This is ZL 5883, clear.

Bosley, I'm at the Quinlan house now.

Let's stay in open transmission.

Mrs. Quinlan?

Yes?

I'm with station KBEX

and I'd like to talk to you regarding your husband.

I'm Father Palimbo.

Mr. Quinlan is dead.

Oh, uh, I'm sorry.

Was it sudden?

Very.

A hear attack. Two days ago.

May I ask why you were interested?

I'm following up on a story we did regarding their problems.

Mr. Quinlan threatened one of our reporters.

I'm sure Mrs. Quinlan will be just fine now.

Then, if you'll excuse us... Yes.

Hello. Hi, there.

I'm Skye Larke. KBEX's new girl-in-the-air.

Oh, yeah?

I thought maybe you were Buck Rogers in drag.

You must be Buck Willis, right?

Would I lie to a girl like you?

Name your tune, honey, and I'll make this thing dance for you.

Thank you.

Be careful getting in there.

I will. All right.

According to the boss,

we're supposed to take it once around the freeways

and give the folks a bird's-eye view of the fender-benders.

Ah! No sooner said than done.

And now to our KBEX news chopper

for weather and traffic.

What's it look like up there, Skye Lark?

It's looking good, Don, real good.

We got some high cloudiness over the mountains and desert.

We can see it moving in from the south.

Otherwise, it's going to be a beautiful day.

Freeways are all clear, no sigalerts.

Weather's behaving, looks like those commuters

down there are behaving, what more could you ask for?

How about Old Buck, is he behaving?

Not always, that's why I wear this parachute.

Okay! Thank you.

That's KBEX's Skylark bringing you...

How'd I do?

Well, at least I didn't upchuck.

What a sweet thing to say.

I'll bet you didn't know

these things flew upside-down, did you?

I don't care.

Oh, you chicks are all alike! You just love it!

I love the ground!

Oh, you do?

We'll stop at my place.

Your place?

How else are we gonna become friends?

I don't want to be friends.

Yes, I'd like to speak with John Bosley, please.

He's the new editor.

Bos, hi, Kris. Yeah, I'm out here near Chatsworth.

I'm going to check out that guy, Dwayne Hanson.

You know, the motorcycle jockey

that said Joy prejudiced the jury against him.

Yeah.

Hey, you know I'll be careful.

Right. I'll check with you in about,

oh, say three hours.

Right. Bye-bye.

Sign says no trespassing!

Hey, man, I didn't see no sign.

That's a point in your favor, baby,

because there isn't any.

We folks don't want any dopers around here, dig?

I'm looking for a dude named Dwayne Hanson.

You got the privilege.

My name's Kris Munroe.

Uh, my hog broke down.

Listen, I understand that you sell parts, Dwayne.

Real cheap too.

You're thinking of the old Dwayne Hanson. B.R.

Before Rehabilitation.

Oh, man, come on, give me a break, will you?

My old man cuts out on me, my hog breaks down.

It's the pits, you know what I mean?

She's trouble, Dwayne.

I can smell it!

Okay, okay, look. Just...

Just take a look at my bike and tell me

if you think I can make it the way it is, will you?

Dwayne, you know who's coming here today.

She gets in the way she blows the whole deal.

Cool it, Raven! We'll be ready when the folks get here.

Raven's blood runs a little hot sometimes...

but that ain't all bad, is it?

I can dig it.

Yeah, hot-blooded woman on a cold-running bike.

There ought to be a song in there somewhere.

I'm hunting up some lunch meat for my family.

You tag along and maybe we'll figure a way

to make your engine purr like a kitten.

Well, it just needs the right man to tune it.

I like your thinking.

You people get things ready for the folks.

This woman and me is gonna take a little walk

and discuss hogs and other cosmic matters.

Welcome to the castle, baby.

It may not be large, but it's... nice.

Do you always stop here when you have a flight assignment?

Only when I'm thirsty, baby.

And right now I got a powerful thirst on.

Oh, boy.

You're not afraid of me, are you, honey?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Little bit afraid of your "powerful thirst."

Like it?

Uh, wh... Well, uh...

It's really you.

This what you're looking for?

This little baby is probably the kind of weapon

somebody used on Joy.

It's what you want, isn't it?

Um...

I don't know what you're talking about.

You are not a reporter.

You're some kind of cop, aren't you?

I don't know why you say that.

I've been in trouble a few times.

Oh...

Okay, uh...

Did you try to kill her?

Why don't you come and judge for yourself?

Why don't you put the gun away?

When I'm finished with it, then I'll put it away.

Come on.

Uh...

Come on. Yeah.

Convinced?

Of what?

If I'd wanted to kill Joy it'd be done.

No sweat.

What if you wanted to threaten her?

Look, I don't know what made you suspect me,

but if I can guess, it's some old lady down at the station

doesn't like the way I been carrying on, probably.

Anyway, Joy and me, we had some laughs

and when she fluffed me off,

I guess I did get a little hacked.

How about her success at doing your job,

didn't that make you a little jealous?

Sure, it bothered me. This is all I do.

If she could fly, they'd have given her the chopper.

So, I got drunk and I said a few nasty angry things

but I did not say that I would kill her.

I will tell you this, lady,

after what I saw in 'Nam

I live and I let live. That's it.

You have any idea who is trying to kill her?

Some crackpot, that's for sure.

Here's something else.

What's that?

It's what you came here for, wasn't it?

You want to check the slugs from my gun against the one

they dug out of Joy's mobile unit, right?

Why are you so good to me?

Because maybe you'll be good to me.

In this crazy universe,

how come you knew where to find me?

Heard you on the radio, KBEX.

You and that reporter, Joy Vance.

That was the old Dwayne Hanson, all right.

Unregenerated criminal.

I told her that if she stuck that mike up my nose

one more time,

I was gonna strangle her with the cord.

I damn near did too.

Hold it!

What is it?

A rabbit.

Right...

over there.

Missed. Light was bad.

Well, there goes lunch.

There's another one! I'll get him!

Hey, weren't you telling me

that you catch all the food that y'all eat?

Well... we got a lot of canned goods too.

Well, that's really too bad.

Because I've got a recipe for rabbit stew

that would curl your toes.

Woman, you don't need rabbit stew to curl my toes.

Uh...

And you don't need a gun to make a move on me.

It's our karma.

Dwayne, lunch first.

First my toes.

But, my karma isn't ready yet!

You're not listening to it.

It's like I told you, I'm a blood-boiling man

and you're setting my plasma on fire!

Dwayne, I'm warning you...

Woman, you're turning me on!

Hold it right there!

She lied to us. She's a fake.

I think maybe she's a cop.

Okay, woman... march.

You're a big disappointment to me, Matilda.

Or whatever your name is.

I had transcendental plans for us.

Look, I told you, my name is Kris Munroe.

I'm telling you the truth.

We checked you out.

That hog you're riding is rented, rent-ted.

You are giving off false vibes.

Okay. Look, I'm a reporter for KBEX.

I'm doing a follow-up story.

Call the station if you don't believe me.

Then that Vance woman sent you

because she was afraid to come herself. Right?

Something like that.

Joy Vance! Do you hear that?

You tell that lost soul

she's got nothing to fear from Dwayne Hanson.

You mean you're not angry with her?

Angry!

She made me famous!

The more she talked about me on the radio,

the more she did me a favor, baby!

From petty rip-off artist to master criminal!

She raised my consciousness!

Now everybody's tuned in to the new me!

Who's everybody?

Film-makers, that's who!

Hollywood!

Me and my family are gonna be in a documentary.

Hell, we're gonna be the documentary!

It's cosmic!

Hey, Dwayne, they're here!

They want to talk about wardrobe.

Whoo-hoo!

Listen, Buck Willis' gun

did not fire that bullet they dug out of Joy's mobile unit.

Yeah, well, for Mr. Macho, he's not such a bad guy.

Here's suspect number four.

Ah, yes, Dr. Arthur Croyden.

Mm-hm.

The one with the so-called cure for the common cold.

Yeah, you know I listened to Joy's phone interview with him.

He, uh...

well, about the nicest thing he said was

he wanted to wrap a ski pole around her neck.

Oh, peachy fellow!

Yeah, it seems he's a championship skier.

Runs five miles a day to keep his legs in shape.

Where does he hang out when he gets out of the parka?

He has a lab at Western Pacific University.

You know...

I got a couple of hours before I have to go up again.

So, you are about to matriculate.

Mm. Oh, no. I told my mother I'd never do that.

But I may run around with him a little.

Bye-bye.

Here you are. Professor Croyden?

Uh, I'm Sabrina Duncan.

I'm a graduate student at Winslow.

I was told I would find you here.

You found me.

Yeah, well, uh...

I have been studying your papers, professor.

You see, my field is immunology.

I would like very much to work with you.

We don't have any openings, Miss Duncan.

How about as a volunteer?

I mean, I practically worked my way through college

as a human guinea pig.

Then you're aware of the risks.

Yes. I've already signed all the necessary legal release forms.

Your nurse is the one who told me where you were.

In science

we are always searching for the truth, Miss Duncan.

But we never know if we'll find it.

Well, I'm searching for the truth too, professor,

and I expect to find it.

Be in my office after five this afternoon.

Yes, sir.

Uh, thank you.

ZL 114, this is ZL 5883, over.

ZL 5883, this is ZL 114. What's up, Kelly?

I'm at the location you gave me for the liquor store holdup.

Are you sure the caller said Marshall Road and Highway 17.

Yes, I wrote it down. He even repeated it.

There's not a liquor store within a mile.

I'm way out in the boondocks, Bosley.

Kelly, this could be a trap! Get out of there!

Count on it!

Bosley, somebody's after me. He's got a gun.

Kelly, where are you now? Give me your direction.

Victor Avenue. Headed east.

Bosley, can you hear me?

Kelly. Kelly?

Do you read me, over!

Bosley, can you hear me?

Kelly, are you there? Come in, Kelly!

What's the matter?

Someone's after Kelly. It was a trap.

Where is she?

That's just it. I just lost radio contact!

She was at Marshall Road and Highway 17

and then east on Victor.

East on Victor.

Okay, Bosley, you contact the police.

I'll get up in the chopper.

You call me. Radio me.

Tell me her location, right?

Right.

Want to show me how good you are?

Sure. Come on!

Bosley, can you read me?

I'm on Highway 17 headed south!

Can you read me? I'm on Highway 17, headed south.

Bosley, can you hear me?

Kelly, it's Bree in the chopper.

We read you. We're on the way.

Buck, there!

I'll get him! Ha ha!

He's crazy!

Get him, Buck! Get him!

Run, Kelly!

Whoa!

You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine. Did he get away?

Yeah, it's okay, we got his license number.

You sure you're okay?

I'm fine, I'm fine.

Hey, didn't the Bionic Man get started this way?

I don't know. Come on. Anything hurt?

No, I'm okay.

All right. Come on.

Hello.

Are you all right? Well...

Did he hurt you? We heard the car smashed up.

No, I'm fine, really.

Hot shower and I'll be like new.

Did you get anything on the license number

that we radioed in? No luck.

The car was reported stolen this morning.

Oh, I thought we had something.

Well, the police said they'd give us a full report

as soon as they put it all together.

Uh, look, you guys are going to have to debrief without me.

I've got to meet Professor Croyden at the University.

Look, Bree, in the light of what's just happened,

don't you think we ought to pull back a little,

until we make sense out of this thing.

Listen, Bosley, don't worry about it, okay?

I know what I'm do...

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I know what I'm doing.

The exact words spoken by the captain of the Hindenberg.

Be careful!

You okay? Would you like some coffee?

No, maybe some water.

All right.

Hello, I'm Sabrina Duncan. I was here earlier.

Oh, yes. The doctor was doing his running.

Yes. I'll tell him.

Uh, Ms. Duncan is here.

Yes, sir. He'll be right with you.

Thanks. Should I take a seat?

What about that Hanson guy you were checking out

in your little motorcycle boots?

Oh, I have a souvenir for you from the Dwayne Hanson Fan Club,

of which I am not exactly the president.

He's in the clear.

The slugs don't match.

Not even close.

Besides, Dwayne's too worried about his film career

to think about little things like attempted murder.

Who else is on the list?

Hello, KBEX.

Oh, yes, yes, lieutenant.

Where?

Oh, yes, well, thank you.

Yes, thank you very much.

What is it, Bos?

Oh, just a few details on the stolen car.

It was taken at 9:45 this morning.

The owner is a Gerald M. Bradford.

He's a student at Western Pacific University.

Where Doctor Croyden has his lab.

The nice man who threatened to wrap a ski pole

around Joy's throat.

He's a skier,

and the guy who chased me was wearing a ski mask.

Yeah, but, Kelly, so do half of the stickup men in this town.

Yeah, but nevertheless,

as we sit here talking,

he's about to put a needle in Sabrina's arm.

Now, do we want to take the chance that he's okay?

No, I think we'd better get out there.

If we're wrong, we'll apologize.

Right.

A graduate student at Winslow majoring in biology?

Ah, yes, sir.

I'd like to do my master's thesis on your experiments.

The grease job isn't necessary, Ms. Duncan.

Uh, well... I... You know Professor Atkins?

Professor Atkins?

William Atkins, in the Biology Department at Winslow.

No, sir, I'm sorry. I'm afraid I don't.

How could you? He doesn't exist.

Oh.

But you do know Dr. Charles Spencer?

Dr. Spencer, yes. Well, I know of Dr. Spencer.

I haven't had any classes under him.

I take my experiments very seriously, Miss Duncan.

Yes, sir, I'm sure you do.

I want volunteers who share my concern

for the advancement of science.

Not shallow, self-serving opportunists.

Well, if you're suggesting that I...

I'm suggesting nothing. Roll up your sleeve, please.

Sure.

I am really... I'm so dizzy. I'm really very dizzy.

Lie down, just lie down.

Oh, does it always...

It's the serum. Mm-hm.

Just answer my questions, now.

Why are you doing that?

To keep you from falling off.

Oh, it's your cold serum...

Uh-huh... Mm-hm.

I didn't give you my serum, Miss Duncan.

I injected you with sodium pentathol.

Truth serum.

Why?

Because you lied to me.

You're not a student at Winslow College.

Charles Spencer is my accountant.

I didn't mean to... Now, you won't lie.

Who are you and what do you want?

So, you think I tried to kill Joy Vance?

Mm-hm.

Did you... Did you tell the police?

Huh?

Did you tell the police?

No... Why not?

Not enough evidence.

Do you know what happens when air bubbles

are injected into the blood stream, Miss Duncan?

Huh? Huh?

Did you... try to kill Joy Vance?

Twice.

The March Foundation was going to give me a $200,000 grant

to further my work.

She ruined it.

You never killed anybody.

Hello, I'm Andrew March, of the March Foundation.

I'd like to see Dr. Croyden. It's urgent.

I beg your pardon.

I know Mr. March. He's come here several times.

Look, I'm not Andrew March either,

but you'd better take us to Croyden right now.

It's an emergency.

Who are you, what do you want?

Come on, this way!

You can't go in there. Don't!

It's locked.

Can you hear anything?

Yes. What?

Well, who are they?

No, don't call the police!

You're Doctor Croyden?

That's right. What are you doing in here?

Where's Sabrina Duncan?

Get out or I'll call the police!

Do it! We'd love it.

Stop waltzing us around, Croyden. Where is she?

Ah! Help!

You okay?

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Sure you're all right? Uh-huh.

Don't move.

I don't think you have to worry.

So Joy's broadcast exposing Professor Croyden

cost him literally $200,000 in research grants.

So his motive was revenge.

Mm-hm.

I hope you know, Charlie, that my motive in doing this story

was to bring out the truth.

Of course, Joy, and it's a good thing you did.

Apparently the university had put him on notice also.

They weren't renewing his contract.

So he was gonna lose his lab facilities.

You have to admit, Charlie, that could make you a bit peevish.

What's this I hear about Kelly the track star?

Actually, that part of it was fun, Charlie.

Oh, Charlie, listen you should've seen her.

She was wonderful. She ran that guy right into the ground!

She runs just like a man.

Oh, really?

You mean she runs like you run, Bosley?

Oh, well, no. Not exactly.

I mean I'm not your typical male runner.

Look, I'm paid to think. Not to run.

Oh, I see. Then you think like a man.

Right? Mm?

Well, yes! I mean of course.

Does Kelly think like a man?

No.

Well, I mean she... Charlie?

Kelly, do you think like a man or just run like a man?

Charlie?

Help!

Bosley, you're on your own!

Oh.

Oh, my gosh, I think I better run.