Original subtitles

Why do I get the feeling

that this was not strictly for fun?

Uh-huh.

Uh, well, as a matter of fact

Max has had a few minor problems lately.

What kind of problems, Bosley?

Well, a couple of nights ago

somebody broke into his office.

You mean he was robbed?

Well, not exactly. Max isn't sure.

It seems that somebody broke one of his files

but nothing was taken.

Well, that doesn't make much sense.

Well, it might not mean anything

but we'll talk to Max, and if we've got a job,

then we're working.

And if not, well, come on, we've had a good time.

My»

First, somebody breaks into my office

Now my two lead skaters are gone! Vanished!

And what do I have?

I'll tell you what I have.

Missing stars is what I have!

A show is what I have not.

Yeah, what can I do for you?

How about some results?

Soon, Max, soon.

Max, you can't risk blowing our cover.

Shall we hit the ice for a little practice?

Just my luck.

Who the devil are you?

I'm Olga. This is Luisi.

Olga, Luisi.

We would like to audition.

Now, come on, dear, just like we've been rehearsing.

One

and two

and aim

and fire.

Perfect.

Even better than perfect.

All right now, when will they all be fixed?

Well, I figure if I work all night

you can have them tomorrow for rehearsal.

I thought I was the only crazy working late.

What is it, Halloween or something?

Help! Wait a minute! Get away from me!

Is this some kind of a--?

Who's this?

This is my cousin Dergus.

Dergus is a master woodcarver and a machinist

and he works very cheap.

Can you fix muskets?

Dergus can fix anything.

Listen to this.

Okay, you're hired until we find Iggy.

Then you're fired.

Now we get it right, or there's no lunch money.

There are no food stamps.

Now are you prepared to do it correctly?

Because we're going to stay here all day until we do.

May we please commence? Okay?

Now, from the top of the following.

We're in...

and...

one, two, three, four

five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four

five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six

seven, eight.

One, two, three,

four, five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three--

Wait, wait, wait

exclamation point!

What is this, children?

Your positions are way off.

Sorry, we forgot.

Forgot?

Forgot is for amateurs.

Is this intellectual malnutrition

or do we have some kind of a language barrier?

Hold it children. I'll be back.

Just stay loose.

Look, you came in, you represented

that you were wonderful skaters.

You seemed to be wonderful.

Hey, girl, you're doing good.

Well, that's the first time they've goofed.

Well, they're only human.

I wonder.

What does that mean?

I don't know, exactly.

It's like I said before.

Their arrival here, knowing the routines--

very fortuitous.

You think they have something to do with all this?

Until we figure out what all this is

there's no way to tell, is there?

Listen, I think I'm going to concentrate on Billy.

If he has Sabrina's teeth marks in his hand

then we'll know that he was the one

she took a bite on in Helene's apartment, right?

You just be careful, okay?

Believe it. See ya.

Everybody who is not in valved in this number

get off the ice, please.

Max, tell me something.

The file that was broken into

in your office the other night, what was in it?

Nothing worth stealing.

Just the floor plan of the audience seating section.

Seating section?

Yes, you know, who sits where and what--

Why do you ask?

I'll let you know when I know, okay?

You're the only new one who's nice.

I don't like those other two, Olga and Luisi.

Billy, I don't like them much, either.

Clear the end of the ice so we can bring the set on .

Here you go.

Clear this end of the ice. Come on now.

Did you know Helene?

Oh, no, I don't know her.

I hear she's real nice, though.

She was.

Was?

Sometimes, things don't turn out the way they're supposed to.

Know what I mean?

No, I don't know what you mean, Billy.

Can you tell me more about it?

Um.

Do, do you like spaghetti with meatballs?

We were talking about meatballs?

I cook that the best.

Oh, you like to cook?

I love to cook--

spaghetti with meatballs.

Is that all?

No.

I also cook meatballs and spaghetti.

That's great. I like a change of pace.

Would you like me to cook for you?

The meatballs are really small.

I can put four in my mouth at once.

You put four meatballs in your mouth at one time?

For you, I'd do five.

Uh... please?

Well, who could turn down five meatballs?

Oh!

Did you like the meatballs?

Yeah, I liked them a lot.

Helene loved those meatballs.

She was a lot of fun.

You really liked Helene a lot, didn't you, Billy?

Before she went with him, Jack, maybe.

Then I don't love her very much any more.

Don't you tell anybody that I love her.

Don't do it!

I don't want that!

Oh, I won't Billy.

I don't want anybody to think Billy's stupid.

It's my fault.

I did it.

They said they'd take him, not her.

Just him, and they lied!

Who lied, Billy?

They did.

Who are they?

Billy, who took Helene?

Who are they?

They said they'd take him and not her, just him!

Billy, what happened?

Look, you can trust me. I'm your friend.

You can tell me.

Oh...

they called on the phone and...

they said they'd leave the door open.

They'd give me some money and they'd take Jack away.

He was bad for her.

He was married! He was no good for her.

Said they'd give me some money

and I could buy Helene a present.

Billy...

Billy...

who are they?

Oh, I don't know.

They threw me money out of a big, blue car.

They lied!

Oh, Helene!

They...

Everything always changes.

This world stinks.

Oh!

Oh, the ice is melting.

Oh, it's getting soft out there.

Okay, Billy, now listen to me.

Those people that threw the money

out of the car, did you see their faces?

No...

I couldn't see.

They promised they wouldn't touch her.

Okay, it's okay.

Now listen, you didn't see their faces

but did you hear anything?

Did you hear a name or anything?

No.

I couldn't hear

and I couldn't see.

Oh, it's my fault.

Oh...

Oh...

Please...

It's my fault.

Billy.

Question is, who are the people who did the kidnapping?

paid them to set up the kidnapping?

Who are they?

He says he doesn't know.

He has to know.

He says he doesn't know, Max. And I believe him.

And it wouldn't do us any good to have him arrested.

He doesn't really understand what it is he did.

We do know one thing. We know who to watch.

We do?

The convenient replacements--

- Olga and Luisi. - Mm-hmm.

And their cousin Dergus the man who fixes things.

Okay. Finished. Closed.

I shut down the show, we call the cops

and we arrest all of them.

But What about "the show must go on, " Max?

What are you giving me with "the show must go on"?

No show must go on when there are lives at stake!

Max, we don't have any tangible evidence to arrest them.

So what can we do?

They'll make their move, and we'll be there.

Considering the extreme water shortage

don't you think it would be extremely patriotic

if all of us would just drink wine?

Uh, domestic wine, of course.

Uh... tell me...

Yes?

Have you seen a large, blue limousine lately?

A large blue...?

You are the second lady that's asked me that.

Don't look now.

It is just pulling in over your shoulder...

and, you know, I think you...

lady limousine lovers

might actually save America.

Well...

off to the wine cellars.

Hey, sister, what's happening?

An emergency, baby. I need help, and I mean now.

Like, what kind of help?

Big blue limousine just rounded the corner.

Can you get behind it for $20 bucks?

$20 bucks?

I can definitely get behind and follow that car. Hop on, baby.

Big, bad limo, watch out

because here come big, bad Jo Jo on your downtown side.

My»

Hey, there it is!

I can't see them!

Honey face, if they're up there, Jo Jo's going to find them.

My»

There they are.

Jo Jo, you're dynamite!

Hey, you know I always did want to play cops and robbers

and be the good guy for a change.

I assume that they are the bad guys?

Definitely.

Hey, look here. You need any help from a brother?

If it gets me off, I won't even charge you.

Thanks. The next move's mine.

Okay, but don't be bad-mouthing me

when I'm gone, you understand?

Anybody asks me about Jo Jo, he's the best.

Hey, you got potential, sister.

Take care of yourself.

Oh. Well, hello there.

My, my, what a fine figure of a man.

My, aren't you something?

If you'll excuse me

I heard there's some very fine vittles in that direction.

Room is private.

She came from there.

She dancer.

I want to thank you for being so kind and courteous.

I'm going to be sure and talk about you

to my cousin Erma Dean, now.

Section D, East.

Section D, East.

They got her, Charlie. Somehow they got her.

Okay, where do we start looking?

The show opens tonight.

I got a feeling Kelly's disappearance

is tied into that somehow.

If we're ever going to see her again

we better find out how...

and quick.

And they haven't had a musket in their hands yet!

Does anyone realize that we open tonight!

Now I know I promised

I would not show my stunning face in here again.

But meanwhile, we have skaters but no muskets

80 may I please be privy to your plans?

The muskets are ready.

Oh, finally.

No!

What are you talking "no"? Are they ready or not?

If not, you're fired Marcus And don't tell me your name.

I fix them. I give them out.

What is this idiot talking about, Max?

I made them, I hand them out.

That's just what I need on opening night.

A temperamental repairman!

Let him, let him!

Make sure you coordinate all music cues,.

All lead skaters will be responsible

for coordinating your own music cues.

Okay, come on, boys and girls.

Let's get a move on. Come on, come on, come on.

Time is of the essence.

Wait a minute, where's Kelly?

We open tonight.

Where is Kelly?

She's not that good a skater.

Oh, she's fired.

All right, uh,

we're just going to do it with five.

Now, from the peel off.

And, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Two, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Three, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Four, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Five, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Six, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Muskets up.

Aim and fire.

Well, what is this?

What is this?

Where are the flags?

Where are the flags?

All right, Mr. Big Shot, now where are the flags?

Where are the flags for our featured skaters?

I haven't put them in.

But you needn't worry.

They'll be ready tonight.

It must he ve been chloroform, honey.

They used it on all of us, I, I think.

The question's still the same--

what do those bozos want with us?

What did we do?

In the restaurant while I was dancing

in between the Arabic

I kept hearing English words like "Section D, East."

"Section D, East"...

That must be an oil field they own, or something.

No, no, no. "Section D, East"

that's where the VIPs sit in the Sports Arena.

Hey, wait a minute.

That file that was broken into in Max's office,

it had the seating arrangement for the Sports Arena.

Did Max tell you who would be sitting in that section?

Oh, he mentioned something about oil people, I think.

Oil people?

Yeah.

Hey, hold on.

Oil, Arabs, Arab restaurant, that's the connection.

That's it. It's got to be.

Ladies and gentlemen, please make certain

you are seated in the right section.

Please check your ticket stubs.

If you need any assistance

any one of our ushers will be pleased to assist you.

Um...

Good d-- I beg your pardon...

I beg your pardon? If an--

Any word on Kelly?

Sabrina, everybody I know who's available

is out there looking.

Nothing yet.

Charlie, why have you got Bosley and me covering Section D?

What are we looking for?

The people in our blue limo with diplomat plates

are sheiks from one of the Middle Eastern countries.

These people have bought out Section "D"

for tonight's opening.

Well yeah, what does that mean?

It's obvious these sheiks are

either the problem or the solution.

Now, Kelly's abductors have been using that limousine.

Maybe they'll be sitting in Section D, I don't know.

But it is clear that the trouble

is coming from, or going to, that section.

Well, that's pretty confusing

but if it's all we've got to go on, we'll do our best.

All right.

Anything?

We don't know what we're looking for.

Well, we will know when we see it.

We better know.

Kelly's life may depend on it.

Hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

All right.

Okay, Paul.

Got him all right?

Whoa.

Easy.

Helene.

Yeah?

All right, here I go.

Climb on his shoulder. Easy.

Jack! Iggy!

All right.

I need three more feet.

I can't hold on much longer now.

How do I get down?

Slowly.

Oh. Wait a minute, Jack. Hold it steady.

Iggy! Iggy!

Everybody all right?

I'm okay.

Just barely.

There's got to be a way, but what way?

Are you okay?

Yeah. Are you?

Yeah.

Give me a hand with that board.

Lucky, before I was an ice skater

I used to work in the circus.

Beautiful.

Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.

The show will begin in five minutes.

Show time in five minutes, ladies and gentlemen.

Ready?

Okay.

Ready?

Yeah.

Hold on, there.

Hold on, Kelly.

That's it. Good girl.

That's it.

I'll come back and get you or send help.

Just hang on.

My»

Live like traitors...

die like traitors.

No time for questions, Max.

Just call Charlie and give him that address.

Tell him he'll find Jack, Helene, Paul and Iggy there.

All of them? All of them.

Are they all right? Kelly! Kelly, what's going on?!

No time, Max. Just-- I'll explain later.

Billy? Yeah?

Oh, Billy, you got to hide me.

What? You got to hide me.

I can get Helene back, but I need you help.

Helene? Helene's all right?

She's fine, but you got to hide me now.

I'll explain it to you later.

Here. Here.

Where is she?

Who? The one called Kelly.

All the skaters are on the ice.

She came this way.

She must be here.

I told you, all the skaters are on the ice.

Dergus thinks you lie.

It's late.

Let's go.

The girl, we've got to find her.

She can't do anything now.

It's too late.

Get everything ready.

Lucky for you I got to go.

Okay.

Come on, Billy, I got to get into costume.

Hold on.

My»

She has to be on the ice.

Are you, Billy the towel boy

telling me, Alvin, the Artistic Director

of this entire show, what to do?

Yes.

Well, actually, the routine does work better with six.

Come on boys and girls, speed!

Speed is of the essence.

When are you going to get Helene back?

Soon, Billy, soon. Come on.

My»

Are you sure you're all right?

I'm fine, and so are the others.

I'll feel terrific

when we figure out the mystery of Section D.

Right. Well, so what do in the meantime?

I don't know.

Play it by ear, honey, play it by ear.

Okay.

Bosley, look.

All right.

And now here's Denny Dare and Kris Munroe.

Our clowns.

My»

What is she doing?

Come here.

Bree!

What are you-- what are you doing!'?

I have to talk to you.

You have to do it in front of 10,000 people?

Just act funny. You act funny.

I can't stand up.

Come on, 808. Where?

To the tunnel.

Charlie said to watch Section D.

We'll watch it from the tunnel.

What's going on?

Someone's gonna get killed if we don't get there.

Come on. Huh?

Tomorrow, our country will be

in the hands of the true patriots.

Whom.!

What is this, children?

Your positions are way off.

You know, that's [he first time they goofed.

Well, they're only human.

I wonder.

Kelly!

You okay, Sabrina?

Uh-huh.

Between me and the night

you ain't so tough, Gergis.

Dergis.

What's in a name, you camel eater?

If we hadn't stopped them

they would have shot all the people in Section D.

And tried to gain control

of an awful lot of the world's oil.

Were they all from the same group?

No, no. They're dissidents from the underground

of six Arab countries.

Wouldn't you know it.

The sheiks come here for an OPEC meeting

go out for a little entertainment

and end up as the stars in a shooting gallery

- and they don't even know it. - They do now.

They're on their way back home with presents for the loyal,

and plans to put the underground six feet lower.

Wait a minute.

What's this expense?

$50 for a belly dancing outfit?

I bought everything but her perfume.

If we go out of business

I can always go into belly dancing.

Mm-hm. And I can always clown around.

And Bosley, we're going to need 12 more dollars.

What for?

Give them the money, Bos/ey.

I have a feeling they're going to buy an old friend

a very old present.

Ah, vintage wine and a trio of lovelies.

I tell you the truth, my beauties...

I deserve this.

Now, here's to my health and your hearts

and may love abound in this

Needful world.

You suppose we could get Mason to reform?

Give up his vino?

Not as long as there's a water shortage.

Patriots!

All true patriots!

My»