Original subtitles

[mellow guitar music playing]

♪ A little narcotic warm on me ♪

♪ What will I do Without the weight of you now? ♪

♪ Funeral singers wail ♪

♪ Charity fails Whose child are you now? ♪

♪ The book is aching For the tree ♪

[cell phone trilling]

[voice message] Hey, it's Gina. Leave a message.

Hey, it's Gina. Hey, it's Gina. Leave a message.

♪ Funeral singers Funeral singers ♪

[sniffs deeply]

♪ Wailing ♪

♪ Wailing ♪

♪ Wailing ♪

[indistinct chatter]

Hey.

What are you guys doing?

Have weed?

How old are you?

How old do you think I am?

Oh, like 50.

Bro, you never ask a lady her age.

[Mae whispers] Lady.

[boy] I was trying to make some conversation.

[DeShawn] He was putting his foot in his mouth though.

Oh, okay. Um, like 40?

[DeShawn] This guy, oh, my goodness.

You so stupid, bro. She's like...

she's, like, 30.

I'm 37.

Deadass, I was about to guess late 20s.

Yeah, that wasn't that far off, huh.

The second time.

[DeShawn chuckling]

How old are you guys?

How old do we look?

Never guess a lady's age.

Oh, she-she got you, bro. [laughs]

We're 18.

- What's that, seniors? - [DeShawn] Yeah.

Well, one of us is a super senior.

Wow, you're funny. Yeah, okay. I'm 20.

But, you know, algebra sucks, so...

Yeah, he's all, "Algebra sucks."

[boy 1] But we all can't be DeShawn,

getting into Harvard and shit.

[boy 2] Hey, let's go.

Well, congratulations.

Okay, so you're 37, you carry drugs in your purse,

and you're at DeShawn's mom's house

at 2:00 in the afternoon,

chilling with a bunch of teenagers.

Yeah.

- Why? - Um...

Yeah, you don't have to answer that.

I've been lost.

Trying to find my way back to...

my old self, but...

now I'm not sure if she's even someone I wanna...

be anymore.

Can we order snacks now?

Yo, she was in the middle of talking.

We can eat while you talk, right?

[DeShawn] Yeah, well, I ain't got no snacks.

I know you got some Toaster Strudel.

Oh, Toaster Strudel!

Toaster Strudel!

Toaster Strudel.

Trudie Styler.

[scoffs] Yo, what are you talking about, bro?

You know what they're talking about?

Tru-Trudie Styler. Yeah, that's Sting's wife.

Ooh, that dude is sexy, yo.

That's that fuck music.

Yeah, you got that one song, you know, uh...

[hums tune]

[DeShawn laughs]

I know you know it.

Yeah. [chuckles] The-the...

[singing] ♪ Every breath you take ♪

[DeShawn] Yeah, that's the one.

♪ Every move you make ♪

Right.

♪ Every bond you break ♪

♪ Every step you take ♪

♪ I'll be watching you ♪

Okay, keep going, yo.

Uh... [clears throat]

♪ Oh, can't you see ♪

♪ You belong to me? ♪

♪ How my poor heart aches ♪

♪ With every step you take ♪

♪ Every move you make ♪

♪ Every vow you break ♪

♪ Every smile you fake ♪

♪ Every claim you stake ♪

♪ I'll be watching you ♪

♪ Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace ♪

♪ I dream at night, I can only see your face ♪

♪ I look around But it's you I can't replace ♪

♪ I feel so cold And I long for your embrace ♪

♪ I keep crying, baby Baby, please... ♪

[door opens]

[woman] It stinks like weed in here.

[boy 2] I gotta go, I'm too high.

Yeah, me too.

Trudy!

[door shuts]

Hey, I do have snacks.

You want a... iced tea?

Oh, yeah, sure.

- Here you are. - Thanks.

Uh, sorry, by the way,

about my friends cutting you off earlier.

Oh, no, no. No, I'm...

I'm usually more grounded than...

I-I was rambling. [scoffs]

No, you weren't. No, you were making sense.

It's hard to know what the self is.

You know, like I have so many different selves.

I feel like I'm constantly performing,

depending on who I'm with.

Which one are you now?

Uh, the real one.

The one I can just be.

Do you want to fuck?

What?

Do you want to fuck?

Uh...

I'm a... I'm a virgin.

And I... I just, you know, I want to wait

for, you know, someone that I... that I love.

Excuse me.

Can I have, uh, more?

[waiter] More?

Food.

[waiter] Uh, something specifically or...

Um...

this, I don't know. More of this.

[waiter] Burger and fries?

- Yeah, and, uh, eggs. - Uh-huh.

Extra meat, sausage or whatever, toast, butter, jelly.

- Okay. - Uh, a soda.

Two... different ones.

[chomps]

[chewing loudly]

[breathes deeply]

[breathing deeply]

[vomits violently]

[cash register dings]

[waiter] You good?

Take some tea for the road.

On me.

[mellow guitar music]

♪ Everything is free now ♪

♪ That's what they say ♪

♪ Everything I ever done ♪

♪ Gonna give it away ♪

♪ Someone hit the big score ♪

♪ Figured it out ♪

♪ That we're gonna Do it anyway ♪

♪ Even if it doesn't pay ♪

[whispers] Where'd you go?

♪ Everything is free now ♪

♪ That's what they say ♪

♪ Everything I ever done ♪

♪ Gonna give it away ♪

♪ Someone hit the big score ♪

♪ Figured it out ♪

♪ That we're gonna Do it anyway ♪

♪ Even if it doesn't pay ♪

[indistinct shouting]

[mellow guitar music playing]

Okay... let's do this.

There's, uh...

there's a lot I need to say to you...

that I've needed to say for a while now.

It's just, time is funny that way.

Like there's never enough time

even when there's all the time in the world.

But we make choices about how we spend our time and, uh...

I spend so much of my time thinking that I'm in danger...

because I...

because you were, for so long.

I feel like I never told you...

we're okay now.

I feel like I've never told you a lot of things. [sniffles]

I want to say I'm sorry...

that I left you here... alone...

when all this time,

you've been screaming, "I need you."

I need you.

[shouts] I need you!

I need you!

And instead, I took those needs and I just...

I waited for someone else to come and take care of them.

What can I say?

What can I say to tell you that you are... loved...

that you are worthy of love...

that I love you.

Mae... I love you,

and I'm sorry.

And forgive me, and thank you.

[woman] Mae?

- [Mae] Gina. - Oh, my God!

No, I... I know what this, uh, looks like but...

I'm okay.

I'm-I'm good, actually.

[Gina] Oh, my God.

[Mae] I'm so sorry. [sobs]

It's okay.

It's really not okay.

- I took and I took. - No.

I don't know why you stuck around for so long, man. [sobs]

But I'm here... now.

I'm here now, okay.

Thank you.

For what?

For loving me

when I couldn't love myself.

What kind of psychopath loves themselves?

[laughing]

Come on.

[Mae grunts]

[Gina laughs]

- [Gina sighs] - [Mae laughs]

[Mae laughs]

Wow, that was... thank you. [laughs]

Look...

whatever it is that you're going through...

- No, you don't have to. - I get it.

You do?

I heard you tonight, yelling at yourself.

[chuckles]

And it made me realize that I also lost me there

because in all my... my chasing, I...

I've never been the one that I've been looking for.

[Mae] So...

you want to start now?

- Let's start tomorrow. - [both laugh]

Yeah, that's my bad. Yeah, that was a bad call.

[laughs]

Let's do what you said.

[upbeat music plays]

♪ Sometimes I walk away ♪

♪ When all I really want to do ♪

♪ Is love and hold you right ♪

♪ There is just one thing I can't say ♪

[indistinct shouting]

♪ Somebody loves you this way ♪

[girl 1] Oh, is that what it means?

Is that the definition of space?

[girl 2] Yes, and it's bloody okay.

[girl 3] Well, let me tell you something.

[boy] We're not doing anything.

[all arguing]

[Sandy] Honestly, I am done.

Space. You keep telling me you needed space.

I'm done.

Then I hear that you're ar-around the whole city

with some goddamn girl.

Space? That's bullshit.

Traipsing around with some whore like you're in love.

P.S., that's not space, okay?

You are garbage, pure trash garbage.

I'm done.

You're stand... Watch where you're standing,

this is an active fucking stairway.

♪ Empty street ♪

♪ Empty life ♪

♪ The downtown life ♪

[music continues]

♪ Tonight and every night... ♪

[Elijah] Hi.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

Uh, I was just out for a night walk and, uh...

Huh.

...seem to keep landing here,

no matter how hard I try to avoid it. [chuckles]

Yeah, same.

Phew!

Was that your... girlfriend?

Ex, yeah.

I guess neither of us have been completely truthful.

Yeah, I guess not.

Does she own this place?

This bar? No. No way. She's an alcoholic.

She owned this place, she'd be in trouble.

Oh.

You in your pajamas?

- Yeah. - You cold?

Yeah. [chuckles]

Would you want to go into this bar that we both hate?

Yeah.

[deep breath]

[Elijah] I have been thinking about you a lot.

I owed you more than that.

You asked me to listen so that you could explain yourself,

and I just... you know, I... [sighs]

I'm ready now.

- Really? - Yeah.

[both chuckle]

- Yeah. - Okay.

It's gonna sound insane.

More insane than what you just saw?

Yeah. [laughs]

Try me.

Okay. Y-you know how, like, some theorists would argue

that there are infinite worlds?

Mm-hmm.

Well, uh...

[chuckles nervously] Oh, my God.

Well, recently, I've been able to...

transcend them.

Okay, you're still with me?

[laughs]

It gets crazier. [laughs]

Um, yeah, it-it... it happens

when I have sex.

[chuckles]

Which, I don't know if there's something about

the intimacy or longing or...

or maybe I'm being punished for finally pursuing pleasure.

But, um, in the life I left,

uh, the one that I grew up in, the one that I, you know,

I identified as my own, um...

in that life...

I was married to you...

and we weren't perfect.

But, uh... we were a team...

for a long time.

And there was-there was just a lot of, um... love...

and, you know, support.

[sobs] And I've been trying so hard to get back to you...

to that life.

Because I think it took me losing it...

to realize that...

that it was there that I was...

that I was found.

I believe you.

- You do? - Yeah.

- You're not just saying that? - No, no.

[Mae cries]

And I-I don't think you're being punished

for pursuing pleasure.

That'd be really un-Buddhist.

[laughing] Yeah.

[softly] Yeah. Thanks.

Have you ever heard of, uh, the... the Dakini?

[Elijah] No.

[chuckles] She's this tantric deity,

she's, um, wild, she's... her hair's wild and she...

she, like, dances in flames and...

it's interesting 'cause in that tradition,

it's believed that

the happiness that comes from lovemaking

allows a couple to, like,

slip through a portal.

[upbeat music plays]

[breathing heavily]

[moaning]

[moaning loudly]

[soft music playing]

♪ I've been a long ♪

[chuckles]

♪ A long way from here ♪

♪ Put on a poncho Played for mosquitoes ♪

♪ And drank till I was thirsty again ♪

Want some eggs?

♪ If it makes you happy ♪

♪ It can't be that bad ♪

♪ If it makes you happy ♪

♪ Then why the hell Are you so sad? ♪

♪ If it makes you happy ♪

♪ Then why the hell Are you so sad? ♪

♪ If it makes you happy ♪

♪ Then why the hell Are you so sad? ♪