Original subtitles

(crowd whistling)

Since there's no objection to your marriage,

by the powers vested in...

Wait one second! There is an objection!

What's going on, bro?

-There is one! -What is this, Erkin?

-There is one! -What kind of objection?

As my baby bro's getting married, I have to do this.

-What are you up to? Sit down, bro! -Wait, it's gonna be so cool.

-This is their wedding, you know. -Merve, can you stand up?

-Erkin! -Just stand up. Please!

Oh, God. Merve Nihal Hazaloğlu.

Will you marry me and become Merve Nihal Hazaloğlu Aksakallı?

MERVE: Uh... Right now...

Wait! I'm so nervous, I forgot the ring. Sorry, I forgot the ring. It's in here.

-Bro! -It got into the lining.

My pocket has holes in it. Wait.

-Erkin. -Bro!

Okay, found it.

(Erkin exhales)

Will you marry me?

This is so weird. Sorry, Canan.

No problem.

-Yes. -She said yes! Applause!

ERKIN: Applause!

(applause)

Really, Koray?

All you're gonna do is sit there watching your brother?

Honey, calm down. We're not done. You have to step on my foot.

-Oh, I have to step on your foot? -Yeah.

-For me, this wedding is done. -Sweetie!

-Step on your foot yourself! -Sweetie, please!

Wait, put this on. Please!

Honey.

See what you did?

How about congratulating me? Animal!

Honey, put... 45?

Sweetie! Honey!

Erkin. Wait, let me check this out.

What's with the drama? I just got carried away.

Give me the register, I'll get it signed.

3 MONTHS LATER

MERVE: It's three days before the wedding.

I can't eat so I can fit into my dress.

I can't eat either. Koray hasn't put salt on yet.

I forgot! I'm so sorry, honey.

-Thank you. -It's hot, I haven't blown on it.

(Koray blows)

Okay, enough. Don't...

Okay, sweetie... Right, let's drink.

-Let's do it. -Cheers.

(Erkin mutters)

Your marriage proposal ruined everything for us.

We didn't get married that day, but... Kismet!

Months later we're at the same table, far more in love than before.

Right, honey?

Right, honey.

You forgot the pepper.

Can I... Can I get the black pepper? Fast!

-CANAN: I have to tell him everything. -What's this? Is there a war on?

Say when, honey.

Aren't they cute, sweetie?

-KORAY: Okay. -MERVE: Sweetie. Sweetie!

-Huh? -I said, aren't they cute?

Sure. They're cute.

As we're together on this beautiful night...

I want to capture the moment...

and start all over again with that first flush of love.

CANAN: I don't believe it!

-Sweetie. -Canan.

-My love. -My one and only.

-Will you... -I don't want to get married.

-Excuse me? -Hold it one second. One second!

If I don't say it now, I never will.

-I don't want to get married. -Shut up for once! Killjoy!

Why?

If you're after a reason, you'd be only too happy to split.

What the hell, moron? What are you talking about?

How can you say that with three days to go?

I've been meaning to for a week, but things were too busy.

Shame on you! Screw everything I ever did for you!

Know what? I don't want to marry you. Open up!

-What? -Your hand, moron. Open your hand.

Bro.

ERKIN: What's going on?

-(Merve grunts) -(table shatters)

I interrupted. Sorry.

-That was over the top, no? -You pissed on tonight!

How about some sympathy? Animal!

I won't let you break it up this time. Sweetie, will you marry me?

Dream on, loser. Enough! I'm going.

Give me that.

-Open up! -What?

Your hand, moron!

Give me the one on your finger. It's no use to you anyway. Give it to me.

Okay, here.

I'm gonna sell them and spend the money like there's no tomorrow, okay?

(spitting)

(faint somber music playing)

(background chatter)

What's up?

-Bro. -Huh?

-You're my elder. I respect you. -Thanks.

-You did a lot for me. -Thanks.

-I know I can't repay you. -Thanks.

-You mean a lot to me. -Thanks.

But I have to say this.

Screw the trees that give you oxygen. Okay?

Fuck the system that makes photosynthesis happen. Okay?

Don't talk about trees like that.

You pissed on the best moments of my life.

Get out of my life! You're no brother of mine!

Koray.

What?

Get the check. I didn't bring my wallet.

Shame on you. Waiter!

Let me see. Sorry about the table.

It's on the check.

KORAY: Okay?

Great.

God damn you!

(grunts)

(sniffs)

Sorry.

(upbeat music)

MY APOLOGIES

5 YEARS LATER

ERKIN: Don't look at me like that. They're not for you.

(mutters)

(faint upbeat music playing)

I catch them for fun, then I do this. See? There we go.

Okay? Boy, I don't eat meat, do I?

I'll feed you and get you started as a vegetarian.

Ready?

Huh? Here you go.

So? Being vegetarian isn't that hard. Is it?

TUNA FLAVORED CAT FOOD

You're so cute I could eat you up.

I mean, not literally. As a figure of speech. I don't eat meat.

POSTACI: Are you Erkin Aksakallı?

ERKIN: Yes.

POSTACI: Here you go.

-Have a nice day. -Thanks.

HILMI ŞENTÜRK LAW OFFICE

What the hell is this?

ERKIN: "Dear Erkin Aksakallı,

I regret to say your bank has won its case against you

for non-payment of your loan debt.

Unless you pay the debt in a week, you'll likely face a prison sentence.

Regards, Attorney at Law Hilmi Şentürk."

God damn it! God damn it!

(somber music)

-ANNOUNCER: Now Kevin De Bruyne. -No, no.

Left it classy. Grealish got the ball. Jack Grealish. Kevin De Bruyne.

-Grealish. Gets the ball. -No.

Grealish. Haaland. Haaland. Haaland!

-From the ground, Foden. -No!

Foden and he scores!

No! No way! Another coupon bites the dust.

(phone ringing)

(Erkin mutters)

MAN (on phone): Am I speaking to Erkin Aksakalli?

Yes, it's me.

I'm Sefa Sertaç, manager of Last Stop Rest Home.

How is Yüksel Aksakallı related to you?

He's my grandfather. Why? What's up?

Mr. Erkin. Unfortunately...

Unfortunately?

SEFA: Unfortunately...

Unfortunately?

SEFA: Unfortunately...

Did you call to say "unfortunately"?

SEFA: Unfortunately, we've lost your grandfather.

Of course you have!

Didn't I warn you not to let him out, that he's a serial womanizer?

See? He's disappeared.

SEFA: Mr. Erkin. Your grandfather is dead.

Dead?

SEFA: Unfortunately.

(solemn music)

(sobs softly)

(solemn music rises)

(Erkin sobbing)

-Unfortunately. -(breathes heavily)

Oh, grandpa.

(sobbing)

(sniffles)

Has he begun to smell?

-Oh my God! -You rat!

How about saying rest in peace?

How about shedding a few tears? What do you mean I smell?

Grandpa? Aren't you dead?

Do I look dead?

Smell-wise, yes.

I have high blood pressure. I eat five cloves of garlic a day.

Thanks so much, Mr. Sefa.

He insisted. I couldn't say no. Unfortunately...

-Grandpa? Why did you do this? -(door closes)

Do I have to die for you to visit me?

But you know how busy I am.

Busy, my ass! You guard a lighthouse.

Don't I know you? We're the same man. Irresponsible, selfish asshole!

Asshole, okay. But I'm not selfish. No way.

I'm dying here alone, don't you see?

Don't say that, grandpa. I'm here for you.

The hell you are!

That idiot brother of yours calls twice a year and that's it.

Still not speaking, are you?

He won't speak to me.

And you dumped the girl you proposed to at Koray's wedding.

Look, son, I don't want you to have the same regrets as me, okay?

Grandpa, I know what you're trying to do. Thanks, but I'm up the creek as it is.

What do you mean?

Here, look.

I'll go to jail if I don't pay off my loan in a week.

You were gambling again, right?

No! Me, gamble?

But you should never bet on Germany's third league.

-Piece of shit! -Fuck your mother!

-You loser! -Asshole!

Right, asshole!

How much do you owe?

180,000.

I'd never usually pay up, but this is different.

But I have one condition.

What's that?

You have one week to say sorry to your brother and ex-fiancée,

and have them forgive you.

Man! Pay the money if you're going to and quit the lectures.

Take it or leave it.

Listen to me, Grandpa. Look...

Mr. Yüksel!

Ah, Ms. Sevil! Hello.

My grandson Erkin came to visit.

My son's coming in two hours.

Where to now?

The garden, for some fresh air.

No need, Ms. Sevil. You're already fresh as a daisy.

(chuckles)

You're quite the charmer, Mr. Yüksel. See you later.

Grandpa? You make eyes at the women here?

In my youth, I'd hit on them. Now I'm old, I just make eyes.

Hand over the cash.

Look, son. I won't let you die alone. Get that in your head.

That's my last word.

I'm leaving! And that's my last word.

Fuck you! Sorry, turns out that's my last word!

(upbeat music)

CONTACTS SEARCH

ASLI ESCORT

(music stops)

(crickets chirping)

(door closes)

(clicking)

Yay! I win again!

Yeah, right. Hand over my fee.

You get it all back. Here.

Idiot! And you call me out to play cards.

What's it to you?

Who's that in the photo?

My brother and grandfather.

I thought you didn't have any family.

Why think that?

ASLI: So who's that girl?

My ex-fiancée.

How could you have a fiancée?

Why would anyone get engaged to you? How desperate is that?

Can you please leave? If you don't, we'll get engaged.

God forbid! I'm out of here.

Okay, bye.

(gentle music)

(sighs)

-(music stops) -(line ringing)

WOMAN (on phone): Welcome to the West Aegean

Lighthouse Federation HR call center.

Please state your request in a few words after the tone.

(line beeps)

I want to take my annual leave.

I didn't catch that. Can you repeat it?

I want to take my annual leave.

Did you say, "I want to take a manual sleeve"?

I want to take my annual leave.

Did you say, "I want to fake my annual pee"?

No! I want to take my annual leave.

Did you say, "I want to break my annual sleaze"?

Why would I say that?

Did you say, "Wide eyes splay drat"?

Clean your darn ears!

Did you say, "I want to take my annual leave"?

Go fuck yourself!

Did you say, "Go fuck yourself"?

God damn them! They're enough to make you crazy.

-Take my annual leave... -(engine starts)

I want to shake my anal heave!

(upbeat music)

WEST AEGEAN LIGHTHOUSE FEDERATION

Whoa! Oh, my God!

Who are you after?

Koray.

Who are you to Koray?

-His sister-in-law. -Sister-in-law?

His big brother of course!

He's the spitting image of me, right? We're like twins!

Sister-in-law made more sense. I didn't even know Koray had a brother.

Where is Koray?

He's with the bees.

Bees? No way! We're both allergic to them.

I'll give you a bee suit. Don't go there unprotected.

Thanks. Is the dog yours?

-No, Koray's. -What's his name?

Erkin.

The bastard! Come on, Erkin. Let's go.

(bees buzzing)

KORAY: Same again.

Guys, look. For two years we haven't produced a gram of honey. Why?

I'm waiting for an answer, queen.

The guys work all day to keep you happy.

You're the queen! Forget your chances if you freeze them all out.

Worker bee comes to your room at night.

You slip into something loose. You take lover boy into a corner.

Bzz-bzz-bzz, you do the business. What's the big deal?

(Erkin sighs)

What are you doing here?

How about a, "Welcome, bro"? Animal!

Get the hell out of here. Fast!

Koray. Bro. We haven't spoken for five years.

How many more will it take to make up? One? Two? Three?

Seriously, get the hell...

I'm not done yet!

Four? Five? Six?

-Go before I... -Don't butt in!

Seven? Eight? Nine? Ten!

-Come here! -Don't fight by the bees!

They'll get even more manic!

KORAY: Stay out of my bees' private lives!

Koray! I have something big to say.

Let's hear it.

Eleven? Twelve? Thirteen?

-You came here to count, asshole? -(Erkin screams)

Oh, God.

Keep quiet. We're allergic to them, remember?

Wait. Is that the queen in the middle?

I told you to keep quiet.

She's a sexy beast, though.

(upbeat music)

Run!

Run! Run!

You show up years later and screw me straight off. Look at me!

No, look at me! What's this?

Sorry, doctor. Just a brotherly spat.

-He's your brother? So glad to meet you. -You too.

Don't worry, you'll be up an hour after the IV's done.

Doctor! Are you a little too glad?

Sorry, I got distracted. I'll leave you to it. Have a good rest.

Thanks.

You saw the doctor eyeing my boobs?

Bull! What are your boobs to him?

What do you mean? I'm hot. Even I like them.

Bro, why did you come?

Didn't I say I never want to see you again?

Koray. How many more years before we make up? One?

You want me to bash your boobs?

No, don't! They hurt.

-Grandpa wanted me to. -Grandpa?

He said, "I won't let you die alone like me.

Say sorry to your brother, have him forgive you."

-So you came right over. For love? -Of course!

-I'll bash your boobs. -(screams)

-They hurt! -Tell the truth.

Okay. Grandpa promised to pay off my loan in return.

That's better! Now I've got you. Keep talking.

Bro. I'll do anything for you to forgive me. Anything you want.

You're gross!

Wait for a second. Anything I want?

-Is this the wife? -Yes, the wife.

She's alright.

I'm a live-in son-in-law thanks to you! I depend on others for a living!

Okay, I accept blame for the failed wedding.

But you being a live-in son-in-law? You're just after money.

What do you expect? Huh?

Didn't you blow our life savings, the money for our restaurant business,

on a single bet on Barcelona?

Don't say that name! I haven't said it once since that dark day.

After you dumped me with a ton of debt, these guys took me in.

My dad-in-law's a cranky piece of work but I can't deny he's done a lot for me.

Which you paid for, and then some!

Give that here! She's my wife.

So, what do you want from me?

You know what I want?

-You stay for dinner. -Yeah.

-My dad-in-law will be there. -Yeah.

You tell him I want to divorce Asuman.

Why? Don't you love her?

She's a great girl, but I'm not sure if I love her.

Being a live-in son-in-law sucks.

Don't walk out on this fortune and regret it later.

Don't worry, I won't. I'm not you.

-Really? You can't be me. -Who'd want to be?

I make a living. I guard a lighthouse.

Like you do something at the lighthouse. What do you do there?

What do you do here? Lick asses.

-Whose ass? -Your dad-in-law's.

-Really? -(clicks tongue mockingly)

-That's how you lick his ass. -What? How?

-Did you come here to trash me? Open up! -What are you doing?

-Don't touch! -I'm going to piss on you.

Don't touch my boobs!

(groaning)

I'll suffocate you with my boobs!

These boobs will suffocate you! I'll suffocate you! Hey!

-God! -Stop!

(Erkin panting)

(breathes heavily)

It's your fault the bed broke!

It's the weight of those boobs that broke it.

(sighs) They hurt like hell.

Enjoy!

-KORAY: Thanks. -Thanks.

So, sister-in-law. How did the big romance begin?

Koray and I are army buddies.

Army buddies?

You know those online games where you build an army and go to war?

She means that.

Comrade... Cohort.

(Koray gasps)

So, how long till discharge?

Honey, don't! Not with guests here. What do you want? An attack?

Comrade, I'll put you on watch tonight.

Sure. We'll do punishment training if you like.

The army's ready for combat, okay?

Remember, I'm always up for close combat.

Guys, can you disband the army for a bit?

-(giggles) -Let's give it a break.

-(Koray clears throat) -We met playing that game

and fell in love at first sight. And imagine, I was overweight back then.

-Overweight? -Yeah.

She wasn't like how she is now.

-Really? -(heavy metallic thumping)

(giggles) Dad's on his way.

The general's coming!

(heavy metallic footsteps)

(tense music)

(music stops)

Welcome, Mr. Hicabi.

I was shocked today when Asuman said Koray's brother was here.

I was even more shocked to see you.

Why?

Shocked that a couple would have you first and then think,

"This is great. Let's have another."

It's beyond me.

(laughing)

Dad makes jokes like that all the time. God, what a joke! I can't stop laughing...

-Son-in-law! -I've stopped.

-Sweetie. -Okay, I've stopped.

I'm joking, of course.

(heavy footsteps)

Since it's been a secret all this time that my son-in-law has a brother,

there must be problems between you.

MR. HICABI: That's not my business.

What I want to know is why you've turned up after all these years.

I missed my brother.

I wanted to see where he lives... to meet his family.

So? What do you make of your brother's life?

It's great! I love it!

Thanks so much for taking care of my brother. He has a fabulous life.

(mouthing) Get to the point.

But...

But what?

I was just thinking to myself and wondering...

if Koray was on his own...

On his own?

No, with his wife, of course. I was wondering if Koray and his wife...

might live in a different house?

So you're saying the greatest asset in my life,

my only daughter, should live away from her dad. Really?

-I... -Do you hear yourself?

Her mother passed away, giving birth.

(Asuman sobs)

This girl was 9.5 kilos at birth.

-9.5 kilos? -Round it up to 10.

I've been both a mother and a father to her.

I still can't bear to put away her toys.

A horse in heat attacked her in the stable.

I jumped in to rescue her and was paralyzed in the confusion.

(Asuman sobs)

Just to spare her the pain of seeing me in a wheelchair,

I strap on these robot legs and wander about like Terminator.

I'm registered in Balikesir.

How ridiculous is a Balikesir Terminator? Huh?

Mr. Hicabi, you get me wrong. The fact is, Koray said...

What did I say? What kind of idea is that?

Why would I leave my home? I'd refuse even if my wife agreed.

Where would we go without Dad?

Be thankful you're my bro and a guest. Or I'd get up from this chair and fu...

Sweetie! Sweetie, calm down.

(inhales deeply)

As far as I'm concerned, this dinner is over!

(heavy footsteps)

(machine powers down)

My legs are out of charge. Get the battery pack!

KORAY: Right away, Dad.

I'm changing it right now.

(Koray clears throat)

(machine powers up)

(spits)

(tense music)

Dad, wait. I'll be right there.

I'll plug this in to charge.

(both mouthing)

I'm on my way, Dad!

What was that about?

-(crickets chirping) -(dog barking in distance)

(sniffs, groans)

(sighs)

(water sloshing)

(suspenseful music)

(screams)

(quirky music)

(Asuman snoring)

(whispers) What the hell, Koray?

(shushes)

She fell asleep during sex.

What's that?

Your dad-in-law put it on my bed. I was scared shitless.

-Give me a hand. -Okay. I'll roll her over.

Get out at the count of three.

Okay. Help me.

Okay. Are you doing anything?

One, two, three.

(grunts)

Come on. Let's talk outside.

It's okay, she's a heavy sleeper. Let's talk on my bed.

-You sleep in that bed? -Yeah.

In a cat's bed?

Asuman can't sleep sharing a bed. It's cozier than it looks.

Let's go.

(snoring)

(both grunt)

(Erkin exhales)

So let's hear it.

-Koray. -Yeah.

Bro. You're right to be pissed. I've messed you around a ton.

But you saw, right? I paid for it at dinner. It wasn't meant to be.

Tell you what, though. Let's do a video for Grandpa.

Say you forgive me and it's done.

You chickened! You were full of shit.

You said none of the stuff I wanted.

Tomorrow you repeat every word to my dad-in-law, no ifs, no buts.

The guy flipped when I said you'd move. If I say you want out, he'll kill me.

That's what I want. It'll be a relief.

Oh, my God! So you were waiting for me? Do it yourself if you have balls!

I would've by now,

but the point is you doing what I tell you.

Go be the guy's dog, then try leaving this place!

What was I supposed to do?

-You can't do anything. -Yeah. Okay.

They put your leash on.

Do you know what you should do?

You should lie back and let them tickle your belly.

-Me? I can't do anything? -No, you can't.

-Look over here. Here. -Where?

-Screw your "I can't"! See how it's done? -Ha, okay.

-Here, try this. -I already did.

-Don't snap your fingers! She's asleep. -I'm your big brother. Screw you!

It's your fault I have this horse head.

Know what? I'm tired. Get the fuck out!

I'm going. And you sleep here like a cute kitty, okay?

-Piss off! Get out! -I'm going anyway.

Here. (imitates horse neighing)

Moron! And he messed up my bed.

(cat meowing)

(quirky music)

(robotic machine whirring)

Morning, Mr. Hicabi!

Come join me. I wanted a word with you.

But first, see what I got you. Today's your lucky day!

I heard your gear creaking last night.

Let me give it some oil, and you'll be good as new.

You're creaking, I can hear it. I'm good with mechanics.

What are you jabbering about? Your brother has run away!

Run away? No surprise if you let him off the leash.

He couldn't handle your insults. This morning I woke to this message. Here.

Dearest Dad. Popsicle. And dearest heart. Baby doll!

I didn't want to do this to you. I still don't.

But last night, my brother came to my room saying I'm a loser.

I'm a dog to you.

I couldn't take the insults. I'm really sorry on my brother's behalf.

He's to blame for breaking up our home.

Please don't do anything to him, Dad. Or do.

So that he never breaks up a happy home again.

Bastard!

Now, look. Do whatever it takes to find the guy. Make it up to him.

Find him where? He's a big guy. He could be anywhere!

(machine whirring)

What is wrong with you?

No! What's wrong with you?

Treat him like a dog, shit on him, then cry for him when he's gone.

I'm not oiling your gear. Carry on creaking!

How dare you speak to me like that!

Where's my shotgun? Butler! Bring me a shotgun!

What shotgun? Mr. Hicabi, people get along by talking! Oh, my God!

Darn it! Did you have to put me in turbo?

Come back!

(upbeat music)

(Mr. Hicabi shrieks)

-(yells) -(rifle fires)

No! The bastard wrecked my gear! Take me inside, butler!

-Hey, what's up? -Fuck!

Hey, calm down! Calm down! Pull over.

-Where the fuck did you come from? -Pull over! You'll crash the car.

Don't get in. You're soaked. Get over there.

Okay.

Why are you here?

I farted in the pool, sorry.

-Your dad-in-law nearly blasted me. -I won't lie, I wanted him to.

Are you crazy? This is no joke!

I was planning this for three months.

When you turned up, I thought, "two birds with one stone."

My dad-in-law goes for two buttocks with one shot.

Just see how I go for you when I take you back.

It's kind of tricky for me to go back.

So what are you gonna do?

I have an army buddy. A beekeeper.

A real army buddy?

-A real army buddy? -(imitates mockingly)

We'll make honey. The brand and the name are all set. "Lick!"

Lick?

Yes. Our slogan is "Hold the honey jar, lick your fingers."

Ace idea! You're jealous, as always.

Let's go back. You'll go hungry.

I ran away because, like you, they had no faith in me.

Now give me some cash to get on my way.

Why should I give you cash?

You seem to forget you owe me.

I don't owe you anything. I nearly got shot in the ass. We're square.

We're not. Your ass is still rosy-cheeked.

This is my curse. I can't help it.

I'll give you cash on one condition.

What's that?

We call Grandpa. You say you forgive me.

But I don't.

So what? Just lie. Otherwise, no cash. Up to you.

Let me get changed. We'll talk more in the car.

Oh? Says he's been planning it for months and leaves with no cash!

(spits)

-Are you dry? -Yes! I am.

-I'm calling Grandpa. -Go for it.

(Mr. Yüksel panting)

What's up, son?

What happened? What's up with you?

Don't ask! There's a new manager.

He wants us to exercise every morning. I tell you, I'm done in.

Look who's with me.

-Grandpa! -Koray! Don't tell me you made up?

We made up, Grandpa. I have forgiven him. Plus, I really missed him.

Me too. I missed him so bad I want to pull out his mustache!

Okay! Don't overdo it.

Attaboys! So, Erkin. You pulled off this one.

-Let's see how you do with the other. -The other?

Koala! I'm out of the shower.

Your turn now.

Oh!

No way, Grandpa!

Grandpa, what are you making us think? Stop.

Zip it! Can't we unrest the rest home a little?

(chuckles)

What the hell is "koala"?

In my wild days, they called me panther.

Now I cling on and don't let go. That makes me a koala.

(phone beeps)

Ah, Grandpa!

Okay, I delivered. Give me the cash.

-Bro! -What?

I'm off to say sorry to Merve now.

Come with me, then I promise I'll take you wherever you want.

What would I do there?

Plus, if Merve sees you forgave me, she might come around more quickly.

-I'm not sticking up for you. -Okay, don't.

Here's my offer.

Grandpa's giving me 180, okay? I'll ask for 250. I know he has money. You get 70.

-I get 70? -Seventy. Net.

(clears throat)

How about it?

Okay. Let's not keep your ex waiting.

Awesome!

-Say sorry and we're out of there. Okay? -Okay.

-Seventy? -Seventy.

-Deal. -Whatever you say, koala.

KORAY: What the hell is koala?

(upbeat music)

You're sure Merve's here?

I guess. Her mom posted a story here.

Why are you still following her mom?

Once I follow someone, I can't stop. I even follow our dead relatives.

Like who?

Uncle Cemal. Once a week, I DM him a fire emoji.

Why DM someone dead?

I hung out with him a lot once.

We did a lot of bad stuff.

So it's like a joke, "You burn in hell, I'm on my way."

Shame on you! Looks like this place... Wait, I'll take a look.

-So where are they? -MERVE: Mom, let's go downstairs

-and check in the mirror there. -ŞÜKRAN: Sure.

It's bigger.

-Mom, it's gorgeous! -You look gorgeous.

-MERVE: What do you think? -Man, I'm a nervous wreck!

-Okay... -(Erkin panting)

...close your eyes, and take deep breaths.

-What? -Trust me.

-Close your eyes, take deep breaths. -Okay.

Don't open those eyes.

What are you doing?

-Can't I have any fun? -Moron!

Just like a young me!

-You don't look so alike. -Just like a young me!

Just like it.

-ŞÜKRAN: Just like it. -Okay.

Mom, it's three days to the wedding.

MERVE: I can't wait!

(whispering) Three days till she marries.

We crashed the wedding!

I'm not saying sorry. She can't see me.

ŞÜKRAN: If only your dad was here.

Don't worry, he'll be watching up there.

Of course he will. The dog!

Gazing around instead of flying his plane.

Who knows who he's sleeping with?

He's coming to the wedding.

Really? So for the very first time, he'll be there for you on a big day?

Is he coming alone?

-What do you think? -No! He'll have found some hooker.

Mom! Don't talk like that about people you don't know.

Merve, look. I'm your mom.

Anyone with your dad who isn't me, you call them a hooker.

-Mom! -Go on, say it.

It's easy. Hoo-ker. Two syllables. Say it.

Sex worker.

Okay. Okay, that works too.

Merve, don't laugh.

If he turns up one day with your sibling from another woman,

I'll be the one laughing!

Let's get out of here.

SHOP OWNER: This fits fine. Now try the other.

-MERVE: Okay. I can't wait to see it on. -No! They're coming!

-Oh? Did you see who went in? -No.

Ms. Zeliha, is it you?

They are calling us. What do we do?

SHOP OWNER: Ms. Zeliha, is it you?

(in high voice) Yeah.

Okay, your dress is hanging on the right. You can try it on.

-What do we do? -We have to get out. Put on the dress.

-The dress? -Yes.

-Screw you! -Get it on!

No way!

If you don't want her to see you...

I am not doing it!

Fine.

Zeliha! Come on, I can't wait to see your dress.

Isn't it bad luck if we see it?

-No. That's if the groom sees it. -(chuckles)

Darling, how would he see? He's off-the-scale myopic!

Mom, stop! She's in there.

(laughs) What happened, girl?

Wait a second, Mom.

Erkin?

(panting)

So you're finally getting married.

Finally?

-Son, what is this? -Don't say "son"!

What am I supposed to say?

Son of a sex worker!

Listen to me! You're stepping on my skirt! Stop!

-MERVE: Why are you here? -Merve, please!

MERVE: Drop dead!

-I want to say something. -Don't bother. I don't want to hear.

-How's it going? -ŞÜKRAN: How are you, sugar?

-Good, how are you? -I am doing good. Do something about them.

MERVE: What are you doing here? Why did you come?

I'll kill you. Die.

-I can't breathe. -Don't breathe! Die!

You need to press here on his jugular. You are doing it wrong.

-I came to make up, not to make trouble. -MERVE: What are you doing here?

Why did you come, huh?

Die! I don't care. I'm not listening, okay?

ERKIN: Oh, shit! We've been busted.

What's going on here?

Who are you?

The husband-to-be of the bride on top of you.

Who are you?

He's the bride underneath the bride on top.

Merve!

Can you explain, sweetie?

Honey.

-Erkin's a very old friend of mine. -Yes.

And... So is Koray.

MERVE: We...

They came for the wedding. A surprise.

I didn't know. We were goofing around.

I was wrestling him for a laugh. Just a laugh.

A laugh.

A laugh? Fuck the goofing around!

Poyraz, what's going on?

That... is what anyone else in my place would say.

But I'm not saying that.

Because I'm trying to be a good person.

-Right, sweetie? -Breathe in and out. We'll be back.

-Let's talk out there. Move your head. -I'm a good person, right, honey?

-Pull me up! Don't step on my skirt. -KORAY: Here you go.

-Come here, give me that skirt. -Don't step on my skirt! Hold it up!

ŞÜKRAN: Son, what are you doing?

Ms. Şükran. Seriously, I don't mean any harm.

-Fine, but... -I came to do something.

KORAY: What are they up to? What kind of a fight is this?

-They're a bit on edge. -Oh, my God.

-KORAY: They're fighting again? -Is the guy crazy?

-A bit moody. Stay calm. -KORAY: Are you okay?

They're fighting again.

-ERKIN: What the heck? -ŞÜKRAN: Okay.

Sorry about that. It wasn't the greatest start, but...

-ERKIN: Yeah. -I'm Poyraz. Welcome.

Thanks.

He says thanks.

By the way, I'm so happy you're Merve's witness.

Witness?

For the wedding or for some court case?

No, for the wedding. Thanks so much.

So how about we have dinner all together tonight?

What did you say?

All together?

Sure, Mom. At our place. We'll fix it.

Okay, whatever you want, honey. Right, we'll eat together tonight.

I have a boat tour now, so I'll see you tonight. Okay?

-See you. -Bye. Off you go.

(mouths) What the heck?

You're okay in that outfit. You can wear it to dinner.

It's really bad luck for the groom to see the dress.

MERVE: You are the bad luck!

What am I gonna do now? Poyraz saw me in this. I can't wear it!

Swap?

-Swap? -What?

That dress sucks. Doesn't suit you either.

Really? I'll tell Züleyha.

MERVE: It's Zeliha, moron.

Fine. Zeliha or Züleyha, no problem.

What's the girl gonna do now?

ERKIN: Aren't we gonna discuss Zeliha's size?

What did you say to calm him down?

Forget that. Tell me why you're here. Why did you come here?

Merve, I'm here to say sorry.

Not because I expect anything. But I can't live with this guilt.

I even said sorry to Koray.

Erkin, please! Tell the truth.

Our grandpa said he'd pay off his debts if he said sorry to you and me.

(exclaims)

That's you! That's just your style.

So what did you tell him?

Nothing major. I said you're my brother.

Merve, what's with the "brother"? What kind of nonsense is that?

Erkin!

Poyraz is a really decent, civilized guy.

Okay, he may have an anger issue, but he's having therapy for that.

I won't do anything to hurt him, okay?

Good friend wouldn't work. I couldn't say ex-fiancé. What was left?

Didn't he ask why he didn't know about me before?

Here's how I fixed that.

I told him you're my dad's son from another woman.

Having the same dad makes us siblings.

Right. What did your mom say?

She didn't like it, of course, but there is nothing she can do.

So what am I?

Erkin's cousin on his mother's side. Two brothers in one day were too much.

Right. So I'm a cousin.

-Exactly. -Okay.

As if "brother" and "cousin" wasn't enough,

you told him I was a witness!

(snickers)

I did that for a kick.

ERKIN: Why?

Because I got hurt. I hurt for ages. I want you to hurt too.

I don't care. You keep up the lie till the wedding,

or I won't forgive you, and you won't pay your debt.

Merve, I get it. You and I...

You and I?

After everything that happened, I'm asking you for one thing, Erkin.

You can't not value me enough not to do it.

Listen...

Be there on time tonight. Okay? Don't be late.

Bro.

(Merve giggles)

What do we do now?

Not my problem. I came here with you, lied to grandpa, and found Merve for you.

So where's my cash? I am going.

After everything that happened between us, I asked you for one thing.

You can't not value me enough not to do it.

Where do you learn fancy lines like that? How do you come up with them? Let's go.

-When we go to the dinner... -Just walk.

First...

(spits)

Want some seeds? You like them.

Screw the seeds, stop stalling and hand over the cash. I'm off.

Koray. Bro.

Look, I have nothing to do here. Give me my cash. I'm off.

-Listen... -Give me my cash!

Okay, but my wallet's in the car.

CANAN: Koray?

KORAY: Canan?

What are you doing here?

I came for Merve's wedding. We still see each other.

In fact, I set her up with Poyraz. I introduced them.

He's a childhood friend.

Really? That's great.

CANAN: Yes.

But what are you guys doing here?

We... Erkin got the urge to say sorry to people he's messed around with.

First, he said sorry to me, then Merve.

You can be the next if you want. Say sorry.

-Say it. -Go on. It won't kill you.

Please, just one.

-Sorry. -Excuse me?

Now without the seeds.

-Sorry. -Okay, fine.

The case against you lapsed anyway.

So you're not staying for the wedding?

No, we are. We'll be there.

We have to clear up a misunderstanding.

-Merve will explain. -CANAN: Okay.

Wow! I'm happy to see you after all these years, you know?

Me too.

CANAN: Really?

I'll be off then.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye. See you.

See you!

Go on, go.

After everything that happened between us, you asked me for one thing.

I can't not value you enough not to do it.

Get in the car.

Sweetie, pepper.

POYRAZ: Thank you.

Like the food, bro-in-law?

It's great, bro.

(clears throat)

-Sis... -Bro-in-law.

-Bro-in-law. -Enjoy.

Want a stuffed vine leaf... Bro?

Sure. Thanks, sis.

So what am I to you?

Absolutely nothing, sweet pea.

-Sweet pea? Nice. I'll pocket that. -Really?

Now we're all here, let's see that first dance.

-(groans) -POYRAZ: Seyyal.

Look, we have guests.

Oh, yes, you said. Sorry, it took a while to get ready.

We just got here too.

So we came together. I'm Seyyal.

And I'm Erkin.

MERVE: Seyyal is Poyraz's aunt.

Your mom is your aunt.

-Oh, really? Why am I the aunt? -Aunt?

What can I do? Your daughter winds me up.

(smooches)

(mutters)

Someone here goes to the gym. Check out that six-pack.

(Merve snickers)

What six-pack? It's just the way I am.

I don't believe it.

Believe what? A kick up the butt, and his whole body wobbles.

Forget six-packs!

What's going on?

What? If it's you and me, I should get picked. Why you?

Don't be jealous of my six-packs, baby.

-Face front! -Zip it!

Okay! Stop drinking and let's see you dance!

Come on, sweetie. Don't play coy.

-(overlapping chatter) -Give it to us! First dance!

Come on.

-No, I'm eating. -SEYYAL: Come on!

Give them a break. They're eating.

If they want to later, really want to, they'll give us a dance.

Get up, honey. We're dancing. Come on! As you're dying to see, let's show you.

Let's see it.

(Poyraz grumbling)

-Let's see what he's made of. -Zip it!

We have to be prepared!

MERVE: Music!

(gentle dance music)

(upbeat music)

(relaxing music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat percussive music)

Hey!

-Bravo! -Bravo!

ŞÜKRAN: Bravo!

MERVE: Thanks.

Seeing that happy look in Merve's eyes, that does it for me.

Even if she doesn't talk about it much...

Merve was all torn up by her previous relationship.

POYRAZ: She was badly hurt.

If I have helped to heal those wounds this much...

I'm a happy guy.

CANAN: Whatever, let's drop the bad stuff.

That was such a hideous time, but it's history now.

Let's not call it all hideous, sweet pea.

Whoops! Sweet pea's out of my pocket. Here.

Caught it.

Oof, okay! Whatever. Can we forget him?

-Fuck your mom! -What?

Fuck that guy's name and his mom!

-Honey, those meds... -However he hurt her...

But I'm here now. You won't get hurt again, sweetie.

So, how did you like the dance, six-pack?

It was great, but not a lot like a first dance.

SEYYAL: Yeah?

More like an entry for a folk dance competition.

Okay. We wanted it to be playful.

-Really? -So you know what you're talking about?

Sure. Aged 16, we won the dance championship in Erdek.

What? (laughing)

With him?

Yes, with him.

Come on, Koray!

-What? -Let's dance!

-Sit down! -Come on!

-What dance? -Come on!

-And prove what? -Come on!

-Sit down. -I'm getting up.

-Come on! -POYRAZ: Give it to us!

-So let's see it. -Give it to us!

Guys, stop! Hey! I'm not gonna dance.

You can't, anyway. You dance?

You can't even clap properly. Sorry, but...

(women laughing)

CANAN: You dance?

Can you hold this?

-What? -Let's see.

(ballroom dance music)

(clanking)

Should we maybe have coffee inside?

See what my grounds say?

What?

E.

E?

E.

-I see. -MERVE: I'm wiped out.

(sighs)

Mom finally fell asleep.

Honey.

Tomorrow night there's the henna do. There's the stag night.

I say, tomorrow morning, I come to pick you up in the boat,

we go for a five-star cruise,

and we let it all hang out and blow off some steam.

How about it?

Who could say no? Give me a five, bud!

-You got it! -But sweetie...

Honey, please. No is not an option.

(Merve sighs)

Where are you guys staying?

We're yet to find a place.

SEYYAL: Really?

Come stay here. It's your sister's home. The place is yours!

No. I mean, they're fine. They'll figure it out. Never mind.

We'll figure it out.

But then we're kind of blitzed. I think we're best off staying here.

I think so too.

Yeah. The thing is...

No, there isn't room for them. Seriously, the house is too small.

What's the deal, honey? Seyyal can come with me.

Aren't you staying with Merve?

See? The guy's a true bro. No, bro-in-law. I'm not staying here.

(mutters)

Sorry, Poyraz. I can't stay in that poky place of yours.

Also, you drank so much you're bound to snore. But I could share with Erkin.

Trust me. I snore a lot, too, after drinking.

-Really? Okay. -So it's best if I share with Koray.

No way can I sleep with you, bro. I'd sleep with anyone but you.

For example...

thinking out loud, it's all hypothetical, of course...

I could even share with Canan.

You can't. I stay at a hotel. How will you share with me?

I'd stay in the hotel.

-Really? -I'll walk you back, bud.

Let's do it. I am going. I need sleep.

No need. She can walk herself. It's close.

So what are we doing?

Here's what. You share with Merve.

Me?

Sweetie, there's really no need.

Honey, it's settled.

Now your siblings have found each other,

you can natter all night like you did as kids.

What more do you want, honey?

Fantastic idea, bro-in-law! I missed you, sis.

How cool to be brother and sister together like in the old days.

Brother and sister.

-Brother and sister. Hey, bro! -Sis!

And then you two can share.

There's really no need.

-I agree. No need at all. -(awkward chuckle)

What the heck?

-Problem solved. You two can share. -Okay, you...

Poyraz's idea was great.

-But Canan... -(overlapping chatter)

-We're all set, bro-in-law. -ERKIN: Bro.

Hey, enough!

I'll share with Seyyal, you two sleep together. All done.

But Merve, my coffee grounds said E.

There's an E in Merve. Two, in fact.

Come on, bedtime. Good night.

-I'll get your beds ready. -SEYYAL: Good night.

MERVE: Honey, good night.

Good night. Okay, I'm off to my hotel.

Canan! Canan!

Canan what? I'm going.

Bro! Bro.

She could've stayed.

What's up? I'm stuck with you again.

I'm stuck with you, jerk.

-Bro. -What?

Your girls totally left. I'm still here. Your bro's in the game!

(tongue clucks)

I can't stop eating.

I'm off to the bathroom. I'm gonna run a bath and chill.

-Go for it. -See you later.

(door closes)

(playful music)

-(door closes) -What happened? Forget something? Erkin?

What are you doing? Get out, will you?

What? I'm not allowed in my sister's room?

Spare me! Get out, Seyyal will be here any second.

Hey, slow down.

(water burbles)

Wait. It's a water bed?

(laughing)

Awesome!

ERKIN: Check that out!

(cheering)

It makes you all shifty.

ERKIN: Tell you what.

Our bodies are 75 percent water.

Say the bed is 25 percent. Result? 100 percent perfection.

(chuckles)

That's really funny. Erkin, get out or you're in trouble.

No shit! We're having a brotherly and sisterly chat.

You use this to cut fruit?

-Erkin, come on. Come on! -Psychopath.

Wait.

(dramatic music)

Wasn't this my Valentine's gift?

I don't know. No idea.

Yeah, right. But you kept it all this time.

-Okay, I have a question for you. -Yeah.

Who in God's name gives their lover a betting coupon for Valentine's?

You're right.

It burned on the last pick.

What a coincidence! Just like our relationship.

Look, I wrote a poem on the back.

"Spirited and majestic...

wild and without limits, I love you like a horse."

Bull! You didn't love me so much as a butterfly, forget horses.

Out, Erkin. I'm going to bed.

Merve.

For God's sake!

Look.

It really hit me when I saw you.

I'm sorry from the heart.

(scoffs) Your heart's on the other side, moron.

I'm sorry from the heart.

So if your grandpa hadn't pushed you, would you have come here?

But I take my hat off to him. Bravo! (claps)

Why?

There's still someone out there who hasn't given up on you.

Out, Erkin. I'm going to bed.

-Another five minutes. -Erkin!

-Can't you listen for a second? -Enough!

(both scream)

Merve! It's just exploded, Merve!

-Oh, Erkin, stop it! God damn it! Erkin! -What kind of bed is this?

Merve! I have the balls to do this. I will block it! Stop!

Okay, block it!

Stop!

(Merve mutters)

Erkin!

-What did we go through? -What the heck?

(lively music)

I'm bored.

-How much longer? -No idea.

Bro-in-law, clink!

-You got it. -(Canan cheers)

Cheers! Honey!

Look at him! Loudmouth.

He acts so big.

-Mom. -MAN: Surprise!

Dad?

-ŞÜKRAN: Is that Haldun? -CANAN: What?

-My dad. -Your dad?

-What do we do? -What do we do?

-Wait. -Think of something.

What do we do? Think of something.

-One second, I'm thinking. Got it. -What?

You look that way, I'll look this way.

That idea sucks!

Look that way. Act like we're not here.

-He's thinking. So am I. -MERVE: What do we do?

-No idea. The brother deal worked. -Damn you for coming!

Do you think I can be your brother with this face? No!

For God's sake.

-POYRAZ: Welcome! -You're the groom?

-That's me! -Kiss my hand.

-Sure, Dad. -(chuckles)

That's my boy, son-in-law! Merve.

-Dad. -(Haldun sighs)

I was gonna come on the wedding day but couldn't wait till then.

I've been out of your life too long. So where's my hug? Come on, girl!

(scoffs) Finally, you come to your senses!

-And a hug for you, Şüko. -No, thanks.

Dad, you gave us a surprise, but now we have one for you.

-Not now, sweetie. -Honey, leave it to me.

-Erkin! -Don't look!

-KORAY: Don't look. -Bro-in-law, what are you staring at?

POYRAZ: Erkin! Look who's here!

(mutters)

So who are they?

You don't recognize them?

Dad.

Dad?

His dad.

His dad?

Our dad.

Our dad?

Hey, Dad! Dad! Oh, Dad!

Wait a second!

So you're him?

So you found each other after all these years?

Who?

Son?

Your son?

-Son! Hey, son! -Dad! Dad!

Your son?

Yes, my son!

I have a son I never met. Or had.

I didn't even know his name. His mom walked out years ago.

My long lost son! So good to see you.

Oh, Dad!

God damn you, Haldun!

Calm down. It's okay.

-Go rot in hell! God damn you! -(indistinct shouts)

MERVE: My mom could not accept this siblings thing yet.

-Is she okay? -Fine. We gave her some of your meds.

ŞÜKRAN: God damn you, Haldun!

(humming)

Maybe she isn't.

Anyway, I'm starving. What can we eat?

Me too. I could even eat you, you know?

Careful, I might stick in your throat.

I'd swallow you, don't worry.

Maniac!

You bet.

Don't worry, Koray.

The planet's best fisherman is right here! I'll hook them there, cook them here.

I'm not bad myself.

No kidding, bro-in-law!

I'll hook them there, you cook them here.

(laughter)

Cool. Let's do it then?

-Let's do it. -POYRAZ: Let's do it.

-Whoever hooks the most fish wins. -Most fish.

I have a spare tackle. You can use mine.

-Your tackle? Okay. -POYRAZ: Yeah.

Erkin's good, but he doesn't eat meat.

HALDUN: Look at them.

How they've got to know each other. I'm proud of my two kids.

Right, Dad?

My sis is the cutest thing in the world. There, a kiss from me.

(whispering)

Moron! Dad, we need to talk at some point.

I'm just going to the restroom.

Go, bro. We're catching up here. Dear sweet sister!

-(mutters) -Get off!

(Erkin sighs)

Koray, I've been trying to reach you for days, honey.

I miss you so much.

Look, you left your allergy meds behind.

I'd send them if I knew where you were.

The girls really miss you too.

Let me at least give you a peek at each other.

(gentle music)

CANAN: What's up?

I'm good.

I thought I'd come looking for you.

Great.

Now I'm here, can you rub some cream on my back?

-Sure, no problem. -Yeah?

Right away.

Pull your hair out of the way.

-Okay, great. Here goes. -Here.

Okay.

I guess I missed you.

Really?

Yes.

Can I ask something?

Ask away.

What did you miss most about me?

You want me to be honest?

Please.

I don't know...

to be perfectly honest, no one has ever oiled me as well as you do.

-Oiled you? -Yes.

Not that I'd want to be remembered for that, but...

Okay, I'll take it. Then let me do what I'm best at. Right?

Then I'll get in position.

Should I stay with the back or carry on?

Go where your heart takes you.

-My heart? -Yes.

If only it was just my heart.

(Koray clears throat)

Okay, let's keep going.

-Except... -Great.

-Canan. I have a question. -Ask away.

Does the cream have coconut in it?

Smells heavenly, right?

But you know I have an allergy to coconut.

No, I don't.

But we were about to get married. How could you forget?

I forgot. Do I have to remember every detail about you?

But we were together so long! How can you not remember?

-Koray, you have to help me! -We're talking here.

But I said I'd hook a ton of fish.

-I challenged him! Help me! -Wait.

-Did you ask me first? Back off! -Come on!

We're talking.

-So there's stuff Canan doesn't know. -What?

What does she know? She even forgot about our allergy.

What allergy?

There's coconut in this. The drama it's caused!

Coconut?

-CANAN: For God's sake. -I wish I hadn't touched you.

-I'm a wreck. -Don't scratch. That spreads it.

-Too late. -Don't scratch.

-Don't scratch. Come here. -I'm a wreck. And do what?

-What? Like this? -Like this.

Like this?

Move around to the back.

-No! It's moving down! -What the heck are you doing?

Wait!

(upbeat music)

God.

ERKIN: It's bad!

I can't take this.

Out of the way. Don't touch me.

You created this drama. It's your fault. It's your fault.

CANAN: I wish I'd never come. I so regret it.

Like this...

Bro, we need meds.

Okay, we will buy meds.

Bro, don't do that. Don't.

Right!

Whoever hooks the most fish wins.

You get points based on fish size. One, three, or five. Ready?

-Ready, honey. -Ready.

Go!

Good luck, bro-in-law!

Let's go. Wait a second.

KORAY: I am pulling.

-Dash it. -POYRAZ: What point this one gets?

Okay... (laughs)

It is not over yet.

ERKIN: Here it comes.

This is it!

POYRAZ: Honey, look what I got.

Five.

This is one big fish.

-Really, bro-in-law? -ERKIN: Look at this.

-Help me, Koray. -Are you pulling?

Yes, but you need to help me.

KORAY: Give it to me.

This game is over. I am the winner.

We will see.

You should know your league. I have been doing this for years.

-You are all talk. -KORAY: Here it comes!

-Oh, shit! -Erkin.

What's up? You're giving up?

Bro-in-law, you got hit by a pufferfish. They're poisonous!

HALDUN: Son!

A pufferfish? So what do we do?

We need ammonia. Is there any in the boat? I will bring it.

-No! -There has to be an alternative, no?

Piss.

What?

Someone has to piss on the sting.

No way! Not if it kills me.

-It will kill you! -Don't be insane! Let them spray you.

But I can't lose my son so soon.

Dad, now's not the time.

This is not okay! Piss?

-Sit down. Breathe. -My head's spinning. I feel terrible.

Breathe. His face is grim.

Is it? Where?

-It's swelling up. -It's swelling up.

-Sit. We'll handle it. -ERKIN: It's making my head spin.

KORAY: Sit down.

Koray, you do it.

I can't, I just took a leak.

Someone do something! Look at me!

-I would, but I have prostate issues. -For God...

Come on! Someone do something!

-Exactly! Come on! -Come on, man. Do it!

-ERKIN: Come on, bro! -It is...

-Come on, Mom! -I'm on it, bro-in-law!

No! Not like that! Not li...

I can't abandon my bro. His face is grim.

Hey!

I'm doing everything...

to squeeze it out.

Shut your mouth.

HALDUN: Go, go.

(gentle music)

CANAN: Let us know when it is over.

Okay, done!

POYRAZ: All done, honey!

-ŞÜKRAN: Let's hope that works. -HALDUN: It has stopped.

It's clearing up!

He looks better.

Are you okay?

Three seconds from dying, was I?

You could've pissed in a pot and let me handle it!

I'd choose death over going through that! Turn around. You faced front long enough.

Dad! Look at you! Five points!

HALDUN: Hey.

The biggest fish was on the boat! We didn't stand a chance.

HALDUN: Hey!

I don't want you getting too close. You're armed!

HALDUN: God give me strength!

Is that carrying or possession?

-HALDUN: Son! -Carrying or possession?

I mean the best boat is my friend's boat.

Bravo. Exactly.

POYRAZ'S FRIEND: Still...

POYRAZ: What is this? Who did this?

Is this your funeral?

Ozi, is this your doing?

Don't you have anything better to do?

(indistinct chatter)

(solemn music)

(upbeat music)

♪ Don't let them build homes On high hills ♪

♪ Don't let them bride their girls To faraway lands ♪

Wait. What is going on?

What? Is that an ambulance?

There is someone in critical condition here, right? We need to treat them.

Who? We are in the middle of henna do here.

No, we are sure. They are here. We need to treat them immediately.

What are you talking about?

Like this.

What the heck is happening?

(upbeat dance music)

(women screaming, laughing)

SEYYAL: Let's go!

(dance music)

Hey.

-Is this your doing? -Of course, darling.

-No! -I don't believe you!

Okay, I'm in a funk. But what happened to you?

Bro, what are we doing here?

I don't know.

I'm sick of it.

Me too.

(exhales)

(faint dance music playing)

(Erkin exhales)

What's up? You look spaced out.

Given up on marriage, have you?

Get out of here! As if.

(Poyraz chuckles)

I guess I'm a bit mixed up.

But it's not the kind of stuff I'd discuss with you, bro-in-law.

What's it about?

(exhales)

Merve.

Merve?

Yeah.

Go on, try me.

It's kind of hard-core stuff.

No way could I share it with the girl's big brother.

My sister and I are super-close. We talk about everything.

I'm not gonna lie...

that's partly why I wanted you to share a room last night.

I thought maybe Merve would open up to you.

About what?

(exhales)

(laughs)

Sure you want to talk about this? Let's not fall out, bro-in-law.

No, I'm sure. Go on.

Okay, Merve and I have been together for around a year.

But we're yet to get to stage two.

You will. You're getting married.

No, it's not that. I'm talking about stage two.

You lost me.

You know, stage two.

I mean, like, stage two.

I can't seem to convince Merve.

I worry that I'm doing something wrong

something she doesn't like, and that's why it's not happening.

So you wanted to talk about that.

Did Merve say anything?

What about?

Like, when we're alone together Poyraz does this to me but I don't get turned on.

I wish he'd do that.

Or you know, Poyraz kisses me here, but I wish he'd kiss me there.

I guess you were right. We'd best...

I start by caressing her here.

Then I move down and kiss her here, I breathe in her smell.

Then I touch her here

and just when I'm about to go lower, "No, stop!"

"Okay, Merve my love."

So then I'm like, "How about I move down here?"

"No, Poyraz!"

"Okay, Merve my love. But can't you at least let me

putter freely around here?"

Son of a bitch! Hands off the girl!

-You wanted me to talk. -Don't touch!

It's a custom with us that no one touches anyone until you're married for two years.

-That custom sucks! -Don't you trash our customs!

They're our customs! It's our way! Way! Way!

See? You're a true bro.

Bro.

I'm sorry. I'm a bit hammered, bro-in-law. Forgive me.

I forgive you, but...

Clearly, you're not gonna forgive Merve. It's our way! Way!

Way!

Way!

In that case, let's forget all this.

Let's go crash that henna do and have a dance.

Huh? Bro-in-law? Let's go!

Son of a bitch.

What the guy did to the girl! Way.

ASUMAN: Honey, you still haven't answered.

I'm in pieces. (sniffles)

Honey, come back and I promise I'll stand by you on everything.

I'll never abandon you.

-Hi! -Hi. Shouldn't you be at the henna do?

Yes, but I got kind of bored and wanted to see you.

Great!

It's cold here, though. And I forgot my jacket. I'm frozen.

-Let me give you my shirt. -Really?

Sure. Don't get cold. Here.

My legs are still frozen.

I can't give you my jeans.

-Go on, why not? -(laughs)

So give me the T-shirt to wrap around.

Oh, come on.

I'd have seen those abs ripple.

More like fudge ripple these days.

-Really? -Yeah.

Fudge ripple is my favorite flavor of ice cream.

-Really? -Yeah.

Great.

I'm shivering. Put your arm around me, or at least do something.

-Okay, come here. -This is it.

-Tell you what. -Yeah?

My hotel is really close. So if you want a coffee or anything we can go there.

I can't drink coffee. It does things to me.

What, cellulite? Oh?

No, I have tachycardia. It gives me palpitations.

-You're kidding? -No, I can't do coffee.

I'm just saying, come to the hotel, let's check out the fudge ripple...

-Canan. -What?

I'm married.

You're married?

I'm married.

And I love my wife.

You're kidding!

-No. -(laughs)

I almost believed you.

I'm not kidding. In fact, I'll show you. Look.

KORAY: See, isn't she beautiful?

Just look at her. What a sweetheart! She can't fit in a selfie. What a doll!

So why make a move at me?

Call it a false move, Canan. Steps.

Have a nice life, moron!

Wait a second!

Give back my shirt.

No! I'll sell it and spend the money like there's no tomorrow, okay?

Dream on! It's a fake. Worth shit.

A fake like you. Jerk! Pocket that!

You're just jealous! I would be too if I were you. If you saw the girls!

Call me Climber Koray! I climb the Himalayas every night.

(faint slow music playing)

(Haldun exhales)

Dad?

Don't worry, Merve told me everything.

Oh, yeah?

But you know, for a while I really thought you were my son.

Because you look just like his mom.

We look alike?

You do.

You're attractive, charismatic, and sexy just like her.

Sexy?

But you hurt my girl big time.

I wish I'd been around to spit in your face.

You pissed on me today. In fits and starts.

(laughs)

Can I make a confession?

Merve's mom was the only woman who's ever been right for me.

When I messed her up, I messed up my whole life.

Be yourself. If you find the right woman, never let her go.

Be sure you stay committed to her.

Though I guess it's a bit late for Merve, right?

I guess.

(solemn music)

(exhales)

(sniffles)

(exhales)

KORAY: What's up? Something gets you down?

Coming here I never thought I'd feel this way.

But yes.

You say something got me down, I say my life is fucked.

-No, I say that. -Okay.

So what are you gonna do?

(somber music)

I can't bear to see Merve marry someone else.

Let's sneak away tomorrow morning.

What about grandpa's money?

Dude. If I stay here, I'll wreck the wedding.

I know I will.

I can't take the money anyway.

I should at least avoid freaking people out.

Merve really deserves to be happy.

You know you'll go to jail, don't you?

Aren't you scared?

Yes, I am.

But you still say we should go.

Whoa! Listen to you, laid-back, happy-go-lucky Erkin.

Can't believe what you are saying.

(somber music)

So what's up with Canan? You were talking.

Canan?

Nothing's up.

I love my wife, bro. She loves me too.

Love is a beautiful thing.

I felt lonely for the longest time, but I don't with her.

I've treated her like shit.

Koray.

Yes?

Forgive me. I've messed you around so much.

True, there's nothing forgivable about me.

I don't know when I screwed up so badly, when I turned into this person.

Bro, we had no mom, no dad. It was you who raised me.

No question that life can be a heavy load. And sometimes that load can be crushing.

I forgive you.

-Really? -Sure, I forgive you.

(Erkin sniffles)

(somber music continues)

(Erkin exhales)

As we're unloading here, I should also make a confession.

Go on.

Bro, I'm dying for a leak.

(both laughing)

Is it normal to get through so much beer?

Use one of those empties there. It'll help. We saw you on the boat today.

See? It's the boat I was thinking of. A dose on your face?

-No! I want to forget that. -Come on. Ammonia.

-I want to delete the memory! -Okay, fine.

You erase it, I won't. Cheers!

Okay, we're out of there but aren't we making things worse for Merve?

We discussed that. Trust me, this is the right thing.

Okay.

Stop at that hotel on the right, okay? I need to take a leak.

What is it with your plumbing?

Why are you giving me a hard time? For God's sake!

Okay, I'll stop. It's a long trip. I may as well take one too.

Take a right just there.

-Wait a second! Isn't that Poyraz? -KORAY: Sure is. Who's that with him?

I can't see.

Look what he's doing! Your phone! We have to get a video.

-It's in the car. -Mine too...

Dude! Give us your phone, it's urgent.

-What the heck? -We'll take a video and give it back.

Okay, here you go.

Open the camera.

-Someone's calling. -My uncle.

-Don't answer! -Uncle?

They're going! You need to give me the phone!

They've gone! God damn you! It's all your fault!

I'm talking to my uncle for God's sake!

Hello? No, uncle. Everything's fine.

Your freaking uncle!

We didn't see the girl either.

-What do we do? -Go tell Merve everything.

She was unhappy with me

but I can't let her be unhappier with that jerk.

-You're right. Let's go. -Let's go.

-ERKIN: Is she here? -KORAY: She should be.

("Inno Nazionale" playing on phone)

What are you doing?

It's gonna be a tough talk. Gotta lighten the mood beforehand.

-So what's that? -Our song.

What song is that?

The San Marino national anthem.

What does that have to do with anything?

I met Merve at a Türkiye-San Marino game.

She wore something red and white. It looked amazing. I'll never forget it.

The national colors maybe?

Yes, exactly! She was beautiful. I took her arm, looked into her eyes and said...

"Shall we make this our song?"

-Merve! -Petal!

Petal?

What's up? Why are you here?

Merve.

We don't know how to tell you this, but, how can we say?

No idea. How can we say?

Say it somehow whatever it is.

-You say. -You say. What's it to do with me?

-You say. -You say. It's your problem.

-You will... -Come on, just say what you have to say!

Okay, let's do it like we'd tell mom when we did something bad.

-Okay, do it. -You follow me.

(fingers snapping)

♪ I'm so sorry, I couldn't help ♪

♪ Cheating on you last night ♪

♪ It doesn't matter who she is ♪

♪ I ran from committing to you ♪

What's going on with you?

♪ They taught us everything And more about love ♪

-Now you! -♪ But we were cheated, we were cheated ♪

♪ Love is nothing like that ♪

Are you out of your minds? Have some shame! What is this?

♪ I went down to your valleys Who knows to which part ♪

♪ Where to caress you With my pencil mustache ♪

♪ With my pencil mustache ♪

-♪ With my pencil ♪ -♪ With my pencil ♪

-♪ With my pencil ♪ -♪ Mustache ♪

You just humiliated me in front of everyone!

Say what you have to say!

Poyraz is cheating on you.

What?

Yes, Poyraz is cheating on you.

How do you know?

We were sneaking away this morning...

Wait a second! Sneaking away? Did I hear right?

Yes.

Erkin, I don't believe you.

I asked you for one thing. And you were ducking out of it.

Petal, that's not the issue.

Fuck your "petal!"

You run off a day before the wedding and bad-mouth the man I'm marrying.

What kind of person are you?

I saw it too. He's telling the truth.

He lied to you. His life is a lie.

Okay, the guy messed you and me around. But he's not a bad person.

Is that why he dumped me three days before the wedding?

I was scared of making you unhappy.

Screw you!

Okay, but there's no place for bad blood. Okay, kiss and make up.

Make up? What kind of idiot are you?

Just kiss.

-Okay with me. -Fuck you!

Not okay with me.

She's obviously not gonna make up. Shall we?

Let's.

You just pick any song at random. With my pencil mustache?

I can't link them. You're better at it.

Who are you to pick the song? I told you to leave it to me.

So is that it? Are we heading back?

Totally. You heard what she said to me.

She's too uptight to know what she's saying.

Her mind is still on you leaving three days before the wedding.

And just look at you. Who are you to leave the girl? Why did you leave her?

Remember I bet the restaurant money on Barcelona?

-Yeah? -Add to that the wedding money

and money I saved for a house.

I figured she deserved more than a shit like me.

So you're happy for her to marry a shit like him? You're okay with that?

But she didn't believe what I said. What am I supposed to do?

She's hung up about you dumping her, not being cheated on.

Don't you get it? She really values you.

Let's stay. There's still a day to go.

We'll prove he's a cheater and save her.

Don't talk crap! Get in the car.

Wait a second!

Erkin Koray has a great song mom and dad played when we were kids, remember?

Which song?

"Go tell her she's being cheated on."

"You're her only love. Go hug her right now."

I don't remember it. Sing the tune.

♪ Go tell her she's being chea... ♪

-There is no such song. -Of course, there isn't.

-Exactly. -Yeah.

But I'd sing it great if there was.

-You would. -Bro, there's still 24 hours.

Let's prove it and save the girl.

-So we stay? -We stay.

-Okay, let's stay. -Yes! Give me five!

What, now of all times?

You're wired, so you want to. Come on, do it.

-Sure I want to. -Come on.

-Sure I do! -Come on.

Here it is, White Golden.

ERKIN: Looks like that asshole found the perfect place for this.

Yes.

Nice to see you, bro...

-What's up, bro-in-law? -Just joking.

-Just a joke. -Enjoy!

No, come and have a glass.

You have stuff to discuss, Anatolian rock and all that. See you!

Cheers, bro-in-law!

-Is it here? -Here, come on.

Get it out!

-To the back. -(Poyraz panting)

(upbeat music)

(Poyraz groaning)

-Go, go. -(Poyraz groans)

(Erkin sighs)

The guy was really going for it with his Pilates.

(laughs)

Shut up, will you?

I can still hear his grunts, you know?

We were after him all day and got nothing.

I don't get why we took a room here.

You think he'll come here a day before the wedding?

(chuckles)

-Don't be so sure, bro. -What?

Come here, come on. Quick!

(suspenseful music)

KORAY: Who's that?

-What do we do? -Catch him in the act.

-How? -Come with me.

Let's go.

(upbeat music)

(beeping)

Empty room.

Okay, let's go!

They're not here either. Let's go.

ERKIN: Let's go.

-Okay. I'm going in. -Quiet with the door.

(woman giggling)

(murmuring)

-Here goes! -(woman screams)

-Hey! -We've been busted!

-Haldun? -Şükran?

-Koray? -What are you doing here?

We saw nothing, heard nothing. Let's go.

-We did see something. -We didn't.

I think we did, but let's go.

We'll keep the video for a laugh.

-ŞÜKRAN: Delete it, Erkin! -Get out!

ŞÜKRAN: Erkin!

(murmuring)

Go.

(upbeat music)

Hit record, hit record!

ERKIN: Now you're busted, asshole!

No, no. You got the wrong idea.

-Who was that woman? -What woman?

You're still denying it.

You realize it's my wedding tomorrow?

POYRAZ: Let's not spoil it, huh?

I don't want to upset your sister. Give me that phone.

Hands off! Forget brother. I'm Merve's ex-fiancé.

-What? -And I'm his brother.

You're more surprised that I'm his brother?

So that's why you whacked me last night, asshole.

I'll whack you harder with this video.

-Give me that phone! Give it here! -ERKIN: Get off!

God!

(grunts)

(groaning)

-He locked it. -Run! Run!

ROYAL TEOS THERMAL RESORT CLINIC & SPA

(upbeat music)

KORAY: Quick, we've got him!

God damn it!

This way!

Dude, lend us your bike!

I'm off to watch a game with my uncle.

Not you again!

Hello! Prepare for a thrashing!

ROYAL TEOS THERMAL RESORT CLINIC & SPA

Look. Let's go to the cops and tell them to find my phone.

Tell them to find it, okay. But get the groom arrested on her happy day?

-That's shameful. -True.

Okay, it's over then. Let's go back.

I missed Asuman anyway.

You really love her?

I guess I do. Really.

I swore I'd never call but I broke down yesterday.

When I told her I'd be back soon, she was ecstatic.

I'm so happy for you. At least one of us should feel that way. Cheers!

-Come on. -Here.

♪ I fell... ♪

Koray? What's with you?

Seemed like just the time.

Don't! Let's get out, grab breakfast, then hit the road.

If we'd seen the girl and got a confession, we'd have nailed it.

But we didn't. Come on, out!

You go first, I'll follow.

ERKIN: Why?

I went for the full wash.

God damn you!

(laughs)

I have to clean the entire bed now!

Still one point.

No! With extracurricular credits?

-One point. -No way!

(laughs)

But Merve's dad, whoa!

The father of all...

-I swear to God... -The guy's in a league of his own.

Like a nuclear warhead. What do you think?

Sure you'd be a player hung like that.

You couldn't stop it. We're talking about a bay stallion.

(fanfare music)

(wedding march playing)

No, don't.

MAYOR: Merve Nihal Hazaloğlu,

do you agree to marry Poyraz Çetinkaya of your own free will?

Yes!

Bravo! (whistles)

Let's hear the consent of the witnesses.

Yes!

Yes!

By the powers vested in me as mayor...

Wait one second! Can you make way? Excuse me. Sorry.

(mutters)

This wedding can't go ahead.

What do you mean?

I may not be 100 percent sure

but if I know Merve and I do, this wedding can't go ahead.

Erkin, for God's sake! You want to wreck a wedding again?

Poyraz is having an affair with Canan.

-What? -What? Don't be so ridiculous!

Honey, it's so not true. That's slander!

Mr. Erkin! We all know what a liar you are.

-Really? -Poyraz!

What? I know he's your ex-fiancé.

-But do you know I'm his brother? -Yeah.

And you're all surprised by that!

Everyone listen.

We got it all on camera last night. But he nabbed the phone from us.

We didn't get to see who he was with.

So we got thinking.

In our fight for the phone, both of our hands touched Poyraz's.

And we found ourselves itching all night.

-So we got thinking. -What was making us itch?

Could it be a sun cream containing coconut?

So how did it get on Poyraz's hands?

-From Canan of course! -So we got thinking.

-No, we cracked it. -From Canan!

Poyraz. Canan, what are they saying?

They're talking crap as always.

You come and fuck up the wedding when you have zero proof. Fuckers!

-Fuckers! -It's bullshit. You have no proof!

-See? -We do! I'm afraid we do.

Aunt?

I already had my suspicions.

When you came back rattled last night, I went through your pockets.

-And found this. -My phone!

-Aunt? How can you do this to me? -ERKIN: Now you're busted, asshole.

Nephew or not, no man can do this to a woman.

You can't do this! Honey, they're making it up!

Look, sweetie.

You want to know what happened last night? Honey...

You deserved it.

-Take it. -Sweetie! Precious! My everything!

-Honey, I'm sorry. -ŞÜKRAN: Merve!

(indistinct shouts)

Why would you do it?

Because Poyraz is my ex. I was madly in love with him.

Okay? Does everyone get that?

In fact, I almost married you to let go of him.

Yes! Then like an idiot I set him up with Merve thinking I'd forget him.

But that didn't work either.

When someone else gets your stuff,

you just want them even more!

Stuff?

So why make a move at me?

Whatever, I'm going.

Oh! She nicked the ring!

She'll spend the money...

-Like there's no... -ERKIN: Tomorrow.

Here, have your phone back.

-Great job! -Great job!

I wasn't gonna say anything. It's you guys who spurred me on.

You deserve the credit.

Thanks.

By the way, there is actually a guy I fancy.

I was just kidding around with you.

With a hunk like this around, I'd hardly have eyes for you.

-I knew it! Yes! -Shut it!

What should I do? Should I check on Merve?

She'll be pissed now. In a bit.

What's up?

Great job, bro! You're in the game!

(tongue clucks)

Excuse us, everyone. Sorry for wrecking the wedding.

Then again, you get to keep the gold.

See that lady whip a gold coin back into her purse?

-KORAY: She... -She looks so happy.

-Wait. -What's up?

KORAY: Fuck!

You wrecked everything!

-What do we do? -What do you mean? Let him come.

You wrecked my life! You wrecked the wedding!

You wrecked me! Don't run!

We're not running!

-Bro, let's run. -You can't run!

We're not running!

Let's run, bro. See behind you?

You couldn't run if you tried.

Dude! Who's trying to run?

Me! I want to run! Why won't anyone listen?

Bambam! Ozi! Let's take the guys for a spin.

Go right ahead. Come here. Go for it.

-(gunshot) -(all shriek)

No one can touch my son!

Is that Terminator?

POYRAZ: Run!

Don't run, you bastards!

-Sweetheart! -Honey!

-I missed you so much. -ASUMAN: Me too.

You brought the girls with you.

Where would I leave them?

(gentle music)

-I'm gonna check on Merve. -KORAY: Okay.

Dad.

HALDUN: Şüko.

(birds squawking)

Don't say a word about us to Merve.

Okay.

She can't take two shocks in one day.

Okay.

(exhales)

(Erkin grunts)

(exhales)

I had to do it.

I knew deep down you were telling the truth.

But I didn't want to believe it.

(Merve laughing)

What?

Do you have to wreck every beautiful moment?

You're just there at the right time.

(laughs) Seriously!

(Erkin laughing)

Merve.

(light music)

I thought I'd come here to say sorry,

but I guess it was to say I missed you.

I missed you too. All your crazy shit.

(laughs)

True.

(both laugh)

What are you doing?

No time like the present, huh?

I was getting married 10 minutes ago, animal!

Slow down!

I'm still in my wedding dress.

(laughs)

I'm sorry. That's the second time. Sorry.

(both laughing)

You jump on the first opportunity.

It has everything to do with you. I can normally stop myself.

-Then stop yourself. -I can't.

-You have to. Stop! -I will if I can. Okay, I stopped.

(laughs)

You always have to have the last word.

-Okay, you have it. -There, see?

(both laugh)

That's the last word? "There, see?"

(both laughing)

ERKIN: Merve. Suppose we start over from scratch?

MERVE: What kind of scratch?

ERKIN: Want to go out with me?

-MERVE: That kind of scratch? -ERKIN: Will you or won't you?

MERVE: Erkin! I'm still in my wedding dress. Why don't you get it?

ERKIN: So take it off.

-MERVE: Here? -ERKIN: Yeah.

-MERVE: Moron! -(Erkin laughing)

(closing theme music)