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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:18,615 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:03:57,542 --> 00:03:59,042 Hiya, Michael. 3 00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:01,750 (Groans) 4 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,375 You OK? 5 00:04:06,375 --> 00:04:08,792 - Hello, Daddy. - Hello. 6 00:04:08,917 --> 00:04:11,583 You been a good boy? Huh? 7 00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:17,167 Hiya, Deirdre. 8 00:04:17,292 --> 00:04:18,792 He's been very quiet. 9 00:04:18,917 --> 00:04:23,250 As good as gold really, but didn't want to finish his tea. 10 00:04:23,375 --> 00:04:25,375 Why didn't you eat what Deirdre gave you, huh? 11 00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:27,500 I was waiting for you. 12 00:04:29,083 --> 00:04:31,583 Here. Sit down here. 13 00:04:32,792 --> 00:04:33,875 (Grunts) 14 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,667 Mmm? 15 00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:37,708 Sure. I'll get that. 16 00:04:39,125 --> 00:04:41,542 I hope I put everything where you like it. 17 00:04:41,667 --> 00:04:43,500 Anyway, you can let me know next time. 18 00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:47,458 Social Services said they want me to come again next week. 19 00:04:47,583 --> 00:04:50,167 Cheers. Er... I'm sure it's grand. 20 00:04:52,708 --> 00:04:54,625 Well, that's me. 21 00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:58,750 Bye, Michael. And don't tire your dad. 22 00:04:58,875 --> 00:05:00,958 - Michael? - Bye. 23 00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,250 Thank you, Deirdre. 24 00:05:03,083 --> 00:05:04,833 No problem. 25 00:05:10,583 --> 00:05:13,333 Can we play now? 26 00:05:13,458 --> 00:05:15,125 Aye. 27 00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:18,500 Shall we have some grapes first? Yeah? 28 00:05:20,417 --> 00:05:21,500 OK. 29 00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:43,750 Five. 30 00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:49,542 Someone at school is not washing their hair. 31 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,417 Five. 32 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,250 "'Come down, come down,' his father cried. 33 00:05:58,375 --> 00:06:01,958 "'You'll be much safer by my side.'" 34 00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:04,250 Page. 35 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:14,167 "But then the crowd below cheered loud to see a turtle touch a cloud. 36 00:06:14,292 --> 00:06:18,042 "They'd never seen a boy so brave. 37 00:06:18,167 --> 00:06:21,333 "He gave his dad a little wave." 38 00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:22,875 Page. 39 00:06:26,208 --> 00:06:29,042 "And when he reached the other side 40 00:06:29,167 --> 00:06:32,917 "his father's heart was full of pride. 41 00:06:33,917 --> 00:06:37,042 "'Come look,' he called to everyone. 42 00:06:37,167 --> 00:06:41,083 "'That tightrope turtle... that's my son.'" 43 00:06:41,208 --> 00:06:42,708 Again. 44 00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:47,000 Come on, Michael, it's late. It's bedtime. 45 00:06:56,875 --> 00:07:02,708 Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. 46 00:07:04,125 --> 00:07:09,750 May God guard me through the night and wake me with the morning light. 47 00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:12,708 - Amen. - Amen. 48 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,167 Good night, Michael. 49 00:07:59,625 --> 00:08:01,875 (Tap running) 50 00:08:05,208 --> 00:08:07,458 (Tap turned off) 51 00:08:34,625 --> 00:08:37,875 Listen, Sam's mummy will pick you up from school. 52 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,250 You can take his puppy for a walk. 53 00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:43,417 I want a puppy. 54 00:08:47,625 --> 00:08:49,875 Please don't play with the food. 55 00:08:50,708 --> 00:08:53,375 I'll get you some Coco Pops tomorrow. 56 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:56,500 And just try and finish the orange juice. 57 00:09:37,292 --> 00:09:39,625 (Crossing beeping) 58 00:10:19,458 --> 00:10:21,792 - Thank you so much. - Hello, Owen. 59 00:10:22,375 --> 00:10:24,542 (Girl) Good morning, Miss Rose. 60 00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:28,917 Have fun, Michael, and pay attention to Miss Rose. 61 00:10:29,958 --> 00:10:34,208 - (Boy) Bye, Mummy. - (Boy's mum) Bye now, boys. See you later. 62 00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:37,167 - (Girl) Bye. - (Girl's mum) Bye, chicken. See you later. 63 00:10:37,292 --> 00:10:39,458 Where's my mummy? 64 00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:46,333 I've told you, Michael, she had to go away. 65 00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:48,708 Far, far away? 66 00:10:48,833 --> 00:10:50,250 Yes. 67 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,500 Far, far away. 68 00:10:56,042 --> 00:10:57,458 Kiss. 69 00:11:02,292 --> 00:11:03,792 (Miss Rose) Hi, Michael. 70 00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:08,542 See you in there. 71 00:11:18,125 --> 00:11:21,292 I'm sure she'll love that. Have you put the books in your bag? 72 00:11:21,417 --> 00:11:22,583 (Girl) Yes, Mummy. 73 00:11:27,292 --> 00:11:29,875 Yeah, the commute can be difficult sometimes, 74 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:33,750 but it's worth it though when you come back to this every night. 75 00:11:33,875 --> 00:11:36,917 Peace and quiet, surrounded by greenery. 76 00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:39,083 Does he like nature? 77 00:11:40,542 --> 00:11:43,042 We're very outdoorsy people. 78 00:11:43,167 --> 00:11:46,208 We like to go for long walks, as you can see. 79 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:51,000 We were thinking about maybe getting a dog? 80 00:11:53,292 --> 00:11:57,375 I know Michael would love a puppy, to be responsible for. 81 00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,750 (Man) That's great. 82 00:11:58,875 --> 00:12:02,042 We sort of hope the boy would enjoy the same childhood as ourselves, 83 00:12:02,167 --> 00:12:04,000 not just inside on the computer all day. 84 00:12:04,125 --> 00:12:08,125 And here he's free to run around, not be mollycoddled, 85 00:12:08,250 --> 00:12:10,792 free to climb trees and fall out of trees. 86 00:12:11,625 --> 00:12:15,042 I mean, we will look after him obviously, but you know what I mean. 87 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,292 No, I'm... I'm sure he'll love to climb trees. 88 00:12:19,542 --> 00:12:23,625 He's a... he's a quiet wee boy, but he listens and he's always well-behaved. 89 00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:28,750 He's very popular at school. I'm always being told what a great kid he is. 90 00:12:29,542 --> 00:12:32,292 He's loving... caring. 91 00:12:33,708 --> 00:12:35,667 He... he's a happy wee boy. 92 00:12:39,167 --> 00:12:41,208 I, er... I want... 93 00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:51,583 He deserves a normal family, two parents, a loving family home 94 00:12:51,708 --> 00:12:54,042 and all the opportunities I never had as a child. 95 00:12:54,167 --> 00:12:57,417 - (Michael shrieks) - Oh! 96 00:12:57,542 --> 00:12:58,958 You bang your head? Are you all right? 97 00:12:59,083 --> 00:13:01,667 - (Michael) I'm all right. - (Shona) You sure? 98 00:13:01,792 --> 00:13:04,958 I want him to be able to do all the things I never could. 99 00:13:05,083 --> 00:13:07,417 Never even thought of. 100 00:13:07,542 --> 00:13:09,542 We understand that. 101 00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:12,167 We've painted one of the rooms blue, 102 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,708 but if he didn't like it, we could always change it. 103 00:13:14,833 --> 00:13:17,500 And, of course, we can afford the best education for our son. 104 00:13:19,583 --> 00:13:21,417 I mean, your son. 105 00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:26,667 As you know, Celia's a nursery teacher. We could get him into her school. 106 00:13:26,792 --> 00:13:29,708 And perhaps later on, he could attend my own boarding school. 107 00:13:29,833 --> 00:13:32,542 They're very keen on having children of alumni. 108 00:13:33,458 --> 00:13:39,125 Well, yeah, but, er... he's doing well where he is. 109 00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:43,000 And, er... you know, it's not far. He's got friends, so... 110 00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:46,625 Oh, of course. We... we'd follow your guidance. 111 00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:49,625 And what does he know of your situation? 112 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,667 Nothing. The less he knows the better. 113 00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:56,667 And the birth mother? 114 00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:58,792 There is no birth mother. 115 00:13:59,833 --> 00:14:02,375 (Shona) Can you see? Can you see the bugs? 116 00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,333 Can you see the bugs in there? 117 00:14:06,167 --> 00:14:08,000 What about in the future, 118 00:14:08,125 --> 00:14:11,042 what would you like your son to know about you? 119 00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:12,833 To remember? 120 00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:18,542 What would you like your... the new family to...? 121 00:14:23,875 --> 00:14:25,875 I'm a window cleaner. 122 00:14:26,625 --> 00:14:28,750 One, two, three, 123 00:14:28,875 --> 00:14:31,958 six, seven, twelve, fifteen, fourteen. 124 00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:56,458 Just think, Michael, all those lorries, 125 00:14:56,583 --> 00:14:59,583 taking so many things to so many places. 126 00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:04,667 And all those cars with people going to work, 127 00:15:04,792 --> 00:15:07,792 or to see their friends, far away. 128 00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:15,000 One day, Michael, would you like to live somewhere else, 129 00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:17,958 in a different town, a different home? 130 00:15:19,458 --> 00:15:21,292 I like home. 131 00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:44,583 I don't want him to think about it... 132 00:16:46,333 --> 00:16:48,750 ...to understand death. 133 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:51,708 Not now, not yet. 134 00:16:53,542 --> 00:16:56,208 He's... he's just too young. 135 00:16:57,708 --> 00:16:59,208 He'll think it'll happen again, 136 00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:02,667 to his new family, all those around him. 137 00:17:05,042 --> 00:17:09,208 He'll be left thinking that he will die, too. I mean, you know... 138 00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:11,833 What kind of childhood is that? 139 00:17:11,958 --> 00:17:15,208 John, a memory box is different. 140 00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:18,333 He won't need one now, but he will need it 141 00:17:18,458 --> 00:17:20,417 and his new parents will too. 142 00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:28,792 You know, John, there might come a time when he thinks about you every day 143 00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:32,958 and he'll need something to start with, physical, real, 144 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,000 to connect with and build on. 145 00:17:36,125 --> 00:17:37,875 Build on? 146 00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:42,500 Is that from a manual? Have you just passed the exam? 147 00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:45,375 John, please. Shona's right. 148 00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:48,000 Maybe not now, but later. 149 00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:49,625 And certainly when he's eighteen 150 00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:52,167 and he has the right to find out for himself who his birth parents were. 151 00:17:52,292 --> 00:17:54,958 Why does he have to know he was adopted? 152 00:17:55,083 --> 00:17:59,500 We will find him a family that will be his family, his only family. 153 00:17:59,625 --> 00:18:02,125 He won't even have to remember how useless his parents were. 154 00:18:02,250 --> 00:18:05,083 His mother leaves him and then his father dies. 155 00:18:05,208 --> 00:18:08,792 I mean, that... that would definitely fuck him up. 156 00:18:13,917 --> 00:18:15,583 (Sighs) 157 00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:30,500 Oh, Michael, it's early. 158 00:18:51,708 --> 00:18:55,542 Michael, I told you not to draw in the books. 159 00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:58,417 What's Mrs Donnelly at the library gonna say? 160 00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:09,583 (Reading indistinctly) 161 00:19:25,708 --> 00:19:29,292 (Indistinct chatter) 162 00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:41,750 Here, where do we put it? You choose. 163 00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:45,458 That's good. Let me show you. Give it a big push. 164 00:19:50,625 --> 00:19:52,458 I'm winning! 165 00:21:37,417 --> 00:21:38,583 (Man) Don't you just hate them? 166 00:21:38,708 --> 00:21:41,625 They leave their dogs in the garden, loose, 167 00:21:41,750 --> 00:21:44,417 but they still expect their mail, don't they? 168 00:21:44,542 --> 00:21:49,625 And then they complain if something's late, or God forbid, goes missing. 169 00:21:49,750 --> 00:21:52,917 Them and their bloody dogs. 170 00:21:53,042 --> 00:21:54,792 A menace. 171 00:21:54,917 --> 00:21:56,958 And then, they come at you and they bite you. 172 00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:59,458 It's like you're their bit of fun for the day. 173 00:22:00,458 --> 00:22:02,958 - The small ones are the worst, aren't they? - (Woman) Mmm. 174 00:22:03,708 --> 00:22:04,792 Look at that, Michael. 175 00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:08,250 Right through my trousers. 176 00:22:08,375 --> 00:22:10,375 Always watch out for dogs, Michael. 177 00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:12,917 You never know what they feel like biting next. 178 00:22:13,042 --> 00:22:15,042 Michael loves dogs. 179 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,833 He knows a very nice puppy. 180 00:22:17,958 --> 00:22:20,875 (Woman) Er... would you like some more cake, John? 181 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000 It's great, isn't it? She made it herself. 182 00:22:23,125 --> 00:22:25,375 None of those old preservatives. 183 00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:27,208 Thank you, no. It was delicious. 184 00:22:27,333 --> 00:22:29,042 Er... Shona, would you? 185 00:22:29,167 --> 00:22:31,250 Oh, thank you, Pam, I really couldn't. 186 00:22:31,958 --> 00:22:34,958 Michael, would you like a wee bit more of Pam's cake? 187 00:22:36,208 --> 00:22:37,292 Ah, well... 188 00:22:37,417 --> 00:22:40,833 I'd better have a wee bit more myself then, before the rabbit gets to it. 189 00:22:40,958 --> 00:22:43,125 Dad, rabbits don't eat cake. 190 00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:46,583 I'm sure Michael knows I'm only joking, don't you, Michael? 191 00:22:48,792 --> 00:22:51,708 And you've been fostering for three years now, is that right? 192 00:22:51,833 --> 00:22:55,042 Mm-hmm. Yeah, but it's been tough, you know? 193 00:22:55,167 --> 00:23:01,917 It's... hard letting go of the idea of being pregnant. 194 00:23:02,042 --> 00:23:04,042 You know, you want people to make a fuss over you, 195 00:23:04,167 --> 00:23:07,125 you want to get the... the baby room ready, you know? 196 00:23:07,667 --> 00:23:11,500 And it lingers in your mind and you feel this pain 197 00:23:12,083 --> 00:23:15,042 watching other mothers with their babies. 198 00:23:16,292 --> 00:23:19,875 Every month you feel like you... you've failed as a woman. 199 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,417 (Man) No. 200 00:23:22,792 --> 00:23:24,208 (Woman) Sorry, John. 201 00:23:24,833 --> 00:23:28,667 I'm sure you know life doesn't always work out the way you mean it to. 202 00:23:33,625 --> 00:23:38,458 So I thought that maybe I was put on this earth to look after other people's children. 203 00:23:38,583 --> 00:23:40,917 - And when Anne was... six? - Seven. 204 00:23:41,042 --> 00:23:43,375 Seven, we started fostering. 205 00:23:45,917 --> 00:23:47,958 How was it for you, Anne? Did you enjoy? 206 00:23:48,083 --> 00:23:51,583 Oh, she took to it straight away, didn't you? Didn't you, pet? 207 00:23:51,708 --> 00:23:53,958 Like a duck to water. 208 00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:58,708 But sometimes it's sad to see them go, you know? 209 00:23:59,417 --> 00:24:01,667 Now we don't want to say goodbye to any more. 210 00:24:01,792 --> 00:24:05,375 We both made our mistakes, but we found someone special 211 00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:08,042 and we'll be... we'll be together forever, won't we? 212 00:24:08,167 --> 00:24:11,083 They're still holding hands when they're together shopping. It's embarrassing. 213 00:24:11,792 --> 00:24:14,042 That might be somewhat true. 214 00:24:14,167 --> 00:24:15,667 We do nearly everything together. 215 00:24:15,792 --> 00:24:17,958 If I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, 216 00:24:18,083 --> 00:24:20,417 she comes with me, keeps me company. 217 00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:22,042 - So I go for a piss... - Dad! 218 00:24:22,167 --> 00:24:24,167 Why would you tell them that? What will they think? 219 00:24:24,292 --> 00:24:26,125 - What, he doesn't piss? - Dad! 220 00:24:26,250 --> 00:24:28,250 (Woman) Don't mind him. 221 00:24:28,375 --> 00:24:32,750 Now... look, your child will be part of a big family. 222 00:24:32,875 --> 00:24:34,958 All good people, real people. 223 00:24:36,292 --> 00:24:40,042 You wanna stick to your own, people that respect you, 224 00:24:40,167 --> 00:24:42,750 not people who talk down to you. You know what I mean, John? 225 00:24:43,542 --> 00:24:45,042 I know what you mean. 226 00:24:45,167 --> 00:24:47,500 Postman, sure. 227 00:24:47,625 --> 00:24:49,958 You know, it's... Nobody writes letters anymore 228 00:24:50,083 --> 00:24:53,250 and I'm sure they're gonna do away with us pretty soon, 229 00:24:53,375 --> 00:24:57,042 replaced by a flying drone or something. 230 00:24:57,167 --> 00:25:00,833 And what will all those dogs bite then, eh, Michael? Eh? 231 00:25:22,125 --> 00:25:24,125 Did you like the rabbit, Michael? 232 00:25:28,167 --> 00:25:30,917 Wouldn't you like a rabbit to look after? 233 00:25:33,042 --> 00:25:35,125 I want a puppy. 234 00:25:55,458 --> 00:25:56,958 Almost done. 235 00:25:57,083 --> 00:26:00,917 Thank you, Mrs McDonagh. You really didn't have to go to the trouble. 236 00:26:01,042 --> 00:26:04,042 (Mrs McDonagh) No trouble. You need your strength. 237 00:26:04,167 --> 00:26:07,167 And what else would I be doing with myself? 238 00:26:34,750 --> 00:26:38,167 Here's your special, just as you like it. 239 00:26:38,292 --> 00:26:40,458 Thank you very much. 240 00:26:42,625 --> 00:26:44,708 - Kim. - (Dog barking) 241 00:26:44,833 --> 00:26:48,083 (Whispering) Here you go. Good girl. 242 00:26:50,917 --> 00:26:53,833 You know, John, these people, they may be a bit know-it-all, 243 00:26:53,958 --> 00:26:56,458 but they are professionals. 244 00:26:59,167 --> 00:27:02,000 Er... you know, if they say that you should... 245 00:27:02,125 --> 00:27:04,458 And what am I meant to tell him? 246 00:27:05,708 --> 00:27:10,625 That I'm... in heaven, sitting next to God? 247 00:27:10,750 --> 00:27:12,333 The same God who did this? 248 00:27:12,458 --> 00:27:18,875 Well... you know, my mother believed in it, an afterlife. 249 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:23,000 But none of your "dust to dust" stuff for her. 250 00:27:23,125 --> 00:27:27,875 "We are air not earth," she would say. 251 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:31,250 "And we're always there, after. 252 00:27:31,375 --> 00:27:35,792 "Our spirit, our energy, is in the air." 253 00:27:36,875 --> 00:27:43,708 You know, I used to, er... make fun of her, of her ideas, when I was young. 254 00:27:45,250 --> 00:27:49,667 But you know, she was right. 255 00:27:50,833 --> 00:27:56,708 And now she comes back to me in all sorts of ways. 256 00:27:58,500 --> 00:28:01,750 She sits on my bed at night and we talk. 257 00:28:02,667 --> 00:28:04,917 And she's very peaceful. 258 00:28:05,042 --> 00:28:09,583 I mean, she-she doesn't talk with her mouth or anything. 259 00:28:10,208 --> 00:28:12,875 But we... but we talk. 260 00:28:34,375 --> 00:28:37,542 - Hi, John. Come on in. - Hi, Judy. Hello, Grace. 261 00:28:37,667 --> 00:28:40,583 Grace, say hello to Michael's daddy. 262 00:28:40,708 --> 00:28:42,708 Sorry. Come on in. 263 00:28:43,833 --> 00:28:45,333 Good girl. 264 00:28:47,833 --> 00:28:52,083 Er... I am sorry. It hasn't been the best of playdates. 265 00:28:52,208 --> 00:28:55,375 Michael, your daddy's here. 266 00:28:59,083 --> 00:29:02,250 What are you doing under the table, Michael? 267 00:29:02,375 --> 00:29:04,708 We didn't feel like playing today. 268 00:29:09,250 --> 00:29:11,083 And we weren't very nice. 269 00:29:11,208 --> 00:29:13,958 We didn't say nice things to Grace, did we? 270 00:29:15,250 --> 00:29:16,500 Michael? 271 00:29:17,792 --> 00:29:19,625 You're late. 272 00:29:22,042 --> 00:29:23,292 (John) I'm sorry. 273 00:29:25,708 --> 00:29:27,208 Can we go now? 274 00:29:35,542 --> 00:29:39,542 And can you say sorry to Grace and to Judy for not being nice? 275 00:29:39,667 --> 00:29:40,833 Sorry. 276 00:29:40,958 --> 00:29:42,958 (Judy) It's OK, Michael. 277 00:29:46,375 --> 00:29:51,042 Don't worry about it. It must be... difficult. 278 00:29:51,167 --> 00:29:52,833 Cheers, Judy. 279 00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:54,792 And thank you, Grace. 280 00:29:58,958 --> 00:30:00,292 Thank you, Grace. 281 00:30:00,417 --> 00:30:04,417 You are welcome, Michael. And you come again anytime you want, OK? 282 00:30:05,583 --> 00:30:08,667 - Come on. See you. - See you at school. 283 00:30:17,333 --> 00:30:20,917 Are we gonna see any more new friends? 284 00:30:24,500 --> 00:30:26,000 Not today. 285 00:30:28,500 --> 00:30:30,333 Put your belt on. 286 00:30:41,292 --> 00:30:42,792 (Michael) Daddy. 287 00:30:53,292 --> 00:30:54,958 What is it? 288 00:30:55,083 --> 00:30:57,667 - What did you find? - It doesn't go. 289 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,833 It's a beetle, Michael. 290 00:31:09,958 --> 00:31:11,958 It's dead. 291 00:31:12,083 --> 00:31:14,167 It can't walk anymore. 292 00:31:15,083 --> 00:31:16,917 Make it go. 293 00:31:18,083 --> 00:31:21,083 I can't. It's dead. 294 00:31:24,167 --> 00:31:27,458 When a beetle dies, its body doesn't work anymore. 295 00:31:28,667 --> 00:31:33,250 It stops moving. And eating. And playing. 296 00:31:33,375 --> 00:31:34,875 Why? 297 00:31:37,917 --> 00:31:39,417 Because... 298 00:31:43,208 --> 00:31:48,708 Because like all the animals and the plants, 299 00:31:48,833 --> 00:31:51,667 all the living things, 300 00:31:51,792 --> 00:31:55,625 it was born and lived a happy life 301 00:31:55,750 --> 00:31:59,750 and... then it got old and it died. 302 00:31:59,875 --> 00:32:02,875 And when it died, it left its body behind, 303 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:07,000 its wee legs, its head, its tummy, all empty. 304 00:32:08,250 --> 00:32:11,167 But the beetle really isn't there anymore, it's... 305 00:32:11,292 --> 00:32:13,292 It's just its body. 306 00:32:17,625 --> 00:32:19,458 Is it sad? 307 00:32:21,667 --> 00:32:25,917 No, Michael, it's not sad, it's... 308 00:32:27,417 --> 00:32:30,667 It's... it's just not there. 309 00:32:31,333 --> 00:32:33,083 (Ice cream van jingle) 310 00:32:33,208 --> 00:32:35,875 - Ice cream! - Ice cream! 311 00:33:18,167 --> 00:33:19,417 (Groans quietly) 312 00:33:19,542 --> 00:33:21,333 (Man) Oi! 313 00:33:21,458 --> 00:33:24,125 I'm not paying you to sleep up there. 314 00:33:24,250 --> 00:33:26,250 You missed that corner. 315 00:33:26,375 --> 00:33:28,750 Sir, I haven't started on this one yet. 316 00:34:01,333 --> 00:34:03,083 Don't know what there was to recommend. 317 00:34:03,208 --> 00:34:06,042 First and last time. Won't have you around again, mate. 318 00:34:06,167 --> 00:34:08,917 No risk of that. And I'm not your mate. 319 00:34:09,042 --> 00:34:14,042 Right, just an uppity window cleaner who can't clean fucking windows. 320 00:34:42,208 --> 00:34:43,625 (Nurse) Hi, Lu. 321 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,000 See you later. 322 00:35:35,042 --> 00:35:38,708 (Alarm blaring) 323 00:36:28,417 --> 00:36:30,250 Sure, you're old enough to do this yourself. 324 00:36:31,375 --> 00:36:33,208 And without cutting your fingers. 325 00:37:03,625 --> 00:37:07,875 (TV playing on background) 326 00:38:19,042 --> 00:38:23,542 Sometimes the children fight, hide in their rooms. 327 00:38:23,667 --> 00:38:27,167 Yeah, but then the same child will skip through the door from school, 328 00:38:27,292 --> 00:38:30,125 you know, clutching a prize that they've just won for maths 329 00:38:30,250 --> 00:38:32,833 and you know you've done something right. 330 00:38:34,458 --> 00:38:38,500 (Man) I'm so proud of them and grateful for the privilege 331 00:38:38,625 --> 00:38:41,000 of sharing our lives with such incredible young people. 332 00:38:41,125 --> 00:38:42,750 Really, Dad, even Tom? 333 00:38:42,875 --> 00:38:46,417 Yes. Even Thomas. In fact, especially Thomas. 334 00:38:46,542 --> 00:38:48,292 (Footsteps rushing downstairs) 335 00:38:48,417 --> 00:38:52,417 Dad is right. Do you remember what he was like? 336 00:38:52,542 --> 00:38:56,083 Mum, can we go now? I'm gonna be late. 337 00:38:56,208 --> 00:38:59,042 Freddy, can you get your stuff together, please, and put it in the car? 338 00:38:59,167 --> 00:39:02,125 Make sure you don't forget your boots this time. I'll be there in a minute. 339 00:39:04,625 --> 00:39:06,625 Who put the empty carton back in the fridge? 340 00:39:06,750 --> 00:39:08,750 Freddy! 341 00:39:10,417 --> 00:39:12,833 (Boy) Mum, Freddy's taken my boots. 342 00:39:12,958 --> 00:39:15,542 - Mum, I'm late. - Coming. 343 00:39:15,667 --> 00:39:17,583 I mean, what can I tell you, John? 344 00:39:17,708 --> 00:39:21,000 To me there's no difference in the way I feel about them. 345 00:39:21,708 --> 00:39:24,625 The birth children and the adopted ones. 346 00:39:24,750 --> 00:39:29,000 My children are me own so I love them as me own. 347 00:39:29,125 --> 00:39:31,667 And he'll... he'll be our last one. 348 00:39:32,542 --> 00:39:34,458 Oh, yeah, but if it's God's wish, 349 00:39:34,583 --> 00:39:39,792 then he will be the last one to join our wee family, so to speak. 350 00:39:39,917 --> 00:39:42,000 (Man) And he'll be loved... 351 00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:45,250 ...by all of us. 352 00:39:46,083 --> 00:39:48,083 Right, Billy? 353 00:39:48,208 --> 00:39:49,458 (Boy) Mum! 354 00:40:20,125 --> 00:40:21,625 That's on me. 355 00:40:22,708 --> 00:40:24,208 Cheers. 356 00:40:24,333 --> 00:40:26,833 Come back and do them tomorrow if you can, or Friday. 357 00:40:26,958 --> 00:40:29,833 Tomorrow. It should've settled by then. 358 00:40:36,917 --> 00:40:41,000 Another wasted day. I should've stayed in bed. 359 00:40:51,417 --> 00:40:54,333 (John) I hoped a baby would've made everything OK, 360 00:40:54,458 --> 00:40:57,125 but, er... six months after he was born, 361 00:40:57,250 --> 00:41:00,333 she bought a ticket back to Russia and she left. 362 00:41:00,458 --> 00:41:03,292 She just left. 363 00:41:03,417 --> 00:41:05,250 Didn't even give us a forwarding address. 364 00:41:06,875 --> 00:41:11,375 Wherever she is, she has no idea of what she's missed out on 365 00:41:11,500 --> 00:41:14,167 and the lovely wee man he's grown into. 366 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,750 Well, it wasn't her fault. She... 367 00:41:22,750 --> 00:41:24,833 Here I just couldn't give her what she wanted. 368 00:41:24,958 --> 00:41:27,625 She missed her country too much. 369 00:41:27,750 --> 00:41:30,417 The truth is, I wasn't what she wanted. 370 00:41:31,500 --> 00:41:36,333 But, er... when I was told about, you know... 371 00:41:37,042 --> 00:41:41,000 ...I thought maybe she could, you know... 372 00:41:42,125 --> 00:41:43,208 ...maybe one day... 373 00:41:43,333 --> 00:41:49,250 As Mrs Parkes explained, it really is too late, John. 374 00:41:49,375 --> 00:41:51,083 Even if we were able to trace her, 375 00:41:51,208 --> 00:41:54,333 the council would have no way of assessing the situation 376 00:41:54,458 --> 00:41:56,875 and we couldn't risk Michael's wellbeing. 377 00:41:58,625 --> 00:41:59,625 John... 378 00:42:00,750 --> 00:42:03,250 One day at a time, yeah? 379 00:42:03,375 --> 00:42:04,458 We'll get there. 380 00:42:06,958 --> 00:42:08,375 Good morning, John. 381 00:42:10,375 --> 00:42:12,792 I'm sorry for keeping you waiting. 382 00:42:18,292 --> 00:42:19,708 How are you, John? 383 00:42:21,125 --> 00:42:22,708 You tell me. 384 00:42:25,125 --> 00:42:29,917 (Mrs Parkes) John, we realise you want the best for your son. 385 00:42:30,042 --> 00:42:31,833 We all do. Believe me. 386 00:42:32,750 --> 00:42:35,958 And your circumstances are exceptional. 387 00:42:36,458 --> 00:42:39,708 Which is why we're treating this in an exceptional way. 388 00:42:40,583 --> 00:42:44,333 But there's a limit to the number of families we can consider before taking a decision. 389 00:42:45,917 --> 00:42:49,750 This is our responsibility, you understand? And these are all good families... 390 00:42:49,875 --> 00:42:53,458 I know. I do understand. But you can't ask me to... 391 00:42:53,583 --> 00:42:55,000 I... 392 00:42:56,125 --> 00:43:00,625 I thought I would, you know, know when I first saw them. 393 00:43:00,750 --> 00:43:03,500 I thought it would be simple. No, yes. 394 00:43:03,625 --> 00:43:06,042 Not these. That's them. 395 00:43:06,708 --> 00:43:10,208 But what if I'm wrong? You know, what if I... 396 00:43:11,417 --> 00:43:13,250 - I need to be sure. - Of course. 397 00:43:13,375 --> 00:43:16,375 Can't we just put an ad in the paper? In a frigging shop window? 398 00:43:16,500 --> 00:43:20,667 Because they'd still need to go through the approval process 399 00:43:20,792 --> 00:43:22,958 and we're running out of time. 400 00:44:43,917 --> 00:44:45,417 She should be fine. 401 00:44:45,542 --> 00:44:47,958 You might want to think about getting a new set of wheels on her. 402 00:44:48,083 --> 00:44:50,833 But she's, er... she's as good as new. 403 00:44:54,042 --> 00:44:57,542 That's... just for the discs. 404 00:44:57,667 --> 00:44:58,833 Labour's on me. 405 00:45:03,250 --> 00:45:04,333 Thank you. 406 00:45:06,542 --> 00:45:09,042 - Do you like cars, Michael? - Lorries. 407 00:45:09,167 --> 00:45:13,167 Lorries? We fix lorries, too. 408 00:45:13,292 --> 00:45:16,042 Maybe you come around some day and give us a hand, eh? 409 00:45:16,167 --> 00:45:18,000 (John) Would you like to, Michael? 410 00:45:19,125 --> 00:45:20,750 Help George fix some lorries? 411 00:45:25,375 --> 00:45:27,958 - Cheers, George. - Good luck. 412 00:45:32,292 --> 00:45:35,583 (John) Come on. We're gonna be late for tea. 413 00:45:51,583 --> 00:45:54,417 (Michael) Chocolate, chocolate. 414 00:45:55,333 --> 00:45:57,167 Chocolate. 415 00:45:57,875 --> 00:45:59,708 Chocolate. 416 00:45:59,833 --> 00:46:02,667 - Can you see it? - Chocolate. 417 00:46:03,458 --> 00:46:06,667 - Where is the chocolate powder? - Chocolate. 418 00:46:06,792 --> 00:46:08,792 Oh, there it is. 419 00:46:13,333 --> 00:46:14,750 Brown or red? 420 00:46:14,875 --> 00:46:17,208 Mmm... red. 421 00:46:20,708 --> 00:46:22,542 Red chocolate. 422 00:46:25,667 --> 00:46:28,417 - Where's the baking powder? - Baking powder. 423 00:46:28,542 --> 00:46:30,458 - Baking powder? - Baking powder. 424 00:46:30,583 --> 00:46:32,208 Ah, there it is. 425 00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:34,500 Er... 426 00:46:36,042 --> 00:46:39,792 Michael, maybe we can ask this lady which is the best baking powder? 427 00:46:39,917 --> 00:46:42,667 - You need baking powder? - I do. 428 00:46:42,792 --> 00:46:44,458 Is your mummy making you a cake? 429 00:46:48,542 --> 00:46:50,042 No, my daddy. 430 00:46:50,833 --> 00:46:52,625 (Woman) Lucky boy. 431 00:46:55,250 --> 00:46:56,417 There. 432 00:46:56,542 --> 00:46:58,208 - This one? - Perfect. 433 00:46:58,333 --> 00:47:00,083 - Great. Cheers. - Bye. 434 00:47:01,375 --> 00:47:04,167 Michael, you want to put that in? 435 00:47:04,292 --> 00:47:05,375 Good man. 436 00:47:05,500 --> 00:47:08,083 Yeah. Good man. 437 00:47:10,667 --> 00:47:12,083 Grapes. 438 00:47:13,708 --> 00:47:17,042 Aye. Grapes for Michael. 439 00:47:18,375 --> 00:47:20,125 In they go. 440 00:47:22,333 --> 00:47:23,750 OK. 441 00:47:23,875 --> 00:47:25,542 Have we got everything? 442 00:47:25,667 --> 00:47:28,917 That's the question. Let me check the list. 443 00:47:29,042 --> 00:47:31,042 Er... 444 00:47:31,167 --> 00:47:32,833 (Gasps) 445 00:47:32,958 --> 00:47:34,958 - Michael, eggs. - Eggs. 446 00:47:35,083 --> 00:47:37,250 Eggs. We forgot the eggs. 447 00:47:37,375 --> 00:47:41,208 Where are the eggs? Shall we go find the eggs? 448 00:47:41,333 --> 00:47:43,792 - Eggs! - Eggs. 449 00:47:43,917 --> 00:47:48,000 (Both shouting) Eggs! 450 00:48:01,417 --> 00:48:02,833 Right! 451 00:48:03,875 --> 00:48:07,458 This is the last packet of candles. 452 00:48:08,750 --> 00:48:09,917 Which colour next? 453 00:48:10,042 --> 00:48:12,375 - Red. - Red. 454 00:48:12,500 --> 00:48:15,333 OK. Red it is. 455 00:48:17,625 --> 00:48:20,792 Mmm... we are ready to go. 456 00:48:21,458 --> 00:48:24,125 Thirty-three candles. 457 00:48:24,250 --> 00:48:26,000 - Three. - Three. 458 00:48:27,167 --> 00:48:30,750 Mmm... nearly there. Which candle next? 459 00:48:30,875 --> 00:48:34,875 - Red. - Red. Red? Are you sure? 460 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,167 - Red. - Red. OK. 461 00:48:38,292 --> 00:48:41,292 What a surprise. Red it is. 462 00:48:43,750 --> 00:48:45,167 Ready. 463 00:48:45,792 --> 00:48:49,208 Thirty-four candles on Daddy's cake. 464 00:48:49,333 --> 00:48:51,167 - Four. - Four. 465 00:48:51,292 --> 00:48:55,875 Thirty-four candles for thirty-four years. 466 00:48:56,958 --> 00:48:58,917 That's it. We're finished. 467 00:48:59,042 --> 00:49:01,292 What do you think? It looks good, huh? 468 00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:06,833 You're old. 469 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:09,083 (Chuckling) 470 00:49:09,208 --> 00:49:10,708 I'm old? 471 00:49:14,458 --> 00:49:16,292 I'm not that old. 472 00:49:18,417 --> 00:49:23,583 But yes, Michael, Daddy's not so young anymore. 473 00:49:27,708 --> 00:49:29,708 And one day... 474 00:49:43,625 --> 00:49:45,125 Is this for me? 475 00:49:46,375 --> 00:49:47,875 Thank you. 476 00:50:23,500 --> 00:50:25,750 I am so sorry. I completely forgot yous were coming. 477 00:50:25,875 --> 00:50:27,708 I've said that already, haven't I? 478 00:50:27,833 --> 00:50:32,083 I mean, I 'm not the tidiest of people, but the place isn't usually this messy. 479 00:50:32,208 --> 00:50:34,208 I do my washing and ironing once a week. 480 00:50:34,333 --> 00:50:36,500 I hate doing those half loads, don't you? 481 00:50:36,625 --> 00:50:40,958 Well, with Michael's things, it feels like all I do is half-loads. 482 00:50:41,083 --> 00:50:44,083 Oh, really? You know, since Daddy's gone, 483 00:50:44,208 --> 00:50:46,958 I... I just kind of let it build up and then I'm left with this. 484 00:50:47,083 --> 00:50:48,500 Thank you, Shona. 485 00:50:48,625 --> 00:50:50,958 All right, shall I put the kettle on and get us a cup of tea? 486 00:50:52,417 --> 00:50:53,583 Aye. Grand. 487 00:50:53,708 --> 00:50:55,375 - Yeah? - Thank you. 488 00:50:55,500 --> 00:50:57,583 Michael, do you want a cup of tea? 489 00:50:57,708 --> 00:51:01,083 Would you... like some juice? No? Would he like some juice? 490 00:51:02,208 --> 00:51:03,542 OK. 491 00:51:03,667 --> 00:51:06,500 So, John, I don't know how much you know about my situation. 492 00:51:07,625 --> 00:51:09,125 Well, I'd just turned sixteen 493 00:51:09,250 --> 00:51:12,333 and it was with one of the lads I worked with back home. 494 00:51:12,458 --> 00:51:15,625 I mean, it was my first time and, you know, there it was. 495 00:51:15,750 --> 00:51:20,333 Typical. And I loved him. You know, that sixteen-year-old love for your... 496 00:51:20,458 --> 00:51:21,625 Just a dope. 497 00:51:22,375 --> 00:51:26,542 And then when my ones found out, well, Jesus, there was uproar. 498 00:51:26,667 --> 00:51:27,750 Daddy was horrified. 499 00:51:27,875 --> 00:51:31,208 He just... he said that there was a doctor in the next town 500 00:51:31,333 --> 00:51:34,750 and... like, I said, "No way." 501 00:51:34,875 --> 00:51:38,125 And then for me, that... 502 00:51:38,250 --> 00:51:42,167 When it just came time to, you know, signing those forms... 503 00:51:42,292 --> 00:51:45,542 it just... I think that I was just so angry. 504 00:51:45,667 --> 00:51:47,750 I was just so angry with everyone around me 505 00:51:47,875 --> 00:51:50,708 cos I just really wanted to keep my son. 506 00:51:51,792 --> 00:51:53,500 And I really thought that I could do it 507 00:51:53,625 --> 00:51:58,208 and I really, really wanted to do it, like, even back then. 508 00:52:01,125 --> 00:52:02,958 Do you believe me, John? 509 00:52:07,458 --> 00:52:08,875 And I couldn't choose. 510 00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:13,583 I mean, I didn't even meet the parents that were set to take the baby. 511 00:52:14,625 --> 00:52:17,542 So then all those years later, 512 00:52:17,667 --> 00:52:21,917 the doctor said that I probably wouldn't be able to carry a baby again. 513 00:52:22,042 --> 00:52:24,125 Like, adoption was the obvious choice for me 514 00:52:24,250 --> 00:52:28,958 and that was fine cos I would've just thought that I would love our child 515 00:52:29,083 --> 00:52:32,333 just the way I would have loved the child I had to give up. 516 00:52:37,833 --> 00:52:40,833 But my husband, he didn't feel the same. 517 00:52:40,958 --> 00:52:45,542 He just thought that he couldn't love a baby that wasn't his, you know? 518 00:52:45,667 --> 00:52:49,250 Like, actually his. So... 519 00:52:51,500 --> 00:52:56,083 That was the end of that. Right, come here, you. 520 00:52:56,208 --> 00:52:57,875 Come here. 521 00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:01,833 Let's see how many rocks you can fit into the truck. 522 00:53:03,208 --> 00:53:06,625 So it's been, what, three years now since I've been... 523 00:53:06,750 --> 00:53:08,833 - Two. - Two. 524 00:53:08,958 --> 00:53:12,208 It's been three years now since I've been approved and in the system. 525 00:53:12,333 --> 00:53:16,667 You know, sometimes they say that they're just looking for couples, which is fine, 526 00:53:16,792 --> 00:53:19,625 but that's the first thing I do when I go on those profiles. 527 00:53:19,750 --> 00:53:22,250 I see if it's OK that I'm single. 528 00:53:22,375 --> 00:53:24,708 I mean, I don't blame them cos... 529 00:53:25,667 --> 00:53:30,625 I think that if I was looking for a family for my baby, that's what I'd want, you know? 530 00:53:30,750 --> 00:53:35,083 Two people, doesn't matter the colour or the shape or any of that craic. 531 00:53:35,208 --> 00:53:37,458 Just two people that loved each other. 532 00:53:37,583 --> 00:53:39,083 I think that's important, don't you? 533 00:53:40,125 --> 00:53:42,542 Yeah, yeah. I suppose. 534 00:53:45,542 --> 00:53:47,292 It's hard, you know? 535 00:53:48,875 --> 00:53:53,125 I mean, for me, it's like... it's like the light at the end of the tunnel 536 00:53:53,250 --> 00:53:55,667 is a child coming into this house. 537 00:53:56,500 --> 00:53:59,667 I would be like... it would be like winning the cup. 538 00:53:59,792 --> 00:54:02,458 Only it would be way better. 539 00:54:03,125 --> 00:54:04,208 How many did you get in? 540 00:54:04,333 --> 00:54:06,083 (Michael) Mmm... 541 00:54:08,083 --> 00:54:12,833 I mean, I just... I just want a child to love, you know? 542 00:54:14,083 --> 00:54:15,667 To give my love to. 543 00:54:16,833 --> 00:54:18,833 What was he like as a baby? 544 00:54:20,083 --> 00:54:26,333 Er... he kept us, er... well, me really, up all night. 545 00:54:28,458 --> 00:54:31,458 His mother couldn't give him milk and teething was difficult. 546 00:54:33,583 --> 00:54:36,667 And what were you like when you were his age? 547 00:54:36,792 --> 00:54:37,792 (John) I don't know. 548 00:54:37,917 --> 00:54:43,750 Er... they told me my dad brought me up for my first four years. 549 00:54:45,083 --> 00:54:47,083 He was a lorry driver. 550 00:54:47,208 --> 00:54:50,292 Kept the cot in the back of the cab. 551 00:54:50,417 --> 00:54:52,958 And then after that, it was foster homes. 552 00:54:58,875 --> 00:55:01,458 Can I ask you something? 553 00:55:01,583 --> 00:55:03,083 What do you like to do with your dad? 554 00:55:03,208 --> 00:55:04,708 Mmm... 555 00:55:06,125 --> 00:55:11,458 Well, we don't do so much physical stuff these days, do we? 556 00:55:11,583 --> 00:55:17,667 So we... we read and watch TV, go to the park. 557 00:55:18,958 --> 00:55:22,958 And sometimes we wash windows, don't we, Michael? 558 00:55:24,625 --> 00:55:27,958 Do you love washing windows? Do you love getting wet? 559 00:55:28,083 --> 00:55:29,833 No. 560 00:55:37,417 --> 00:55:39,917 When are you gonna die? 561 00:55:46,292 --> 00:55:47,292 (Woman) Er... 562 00:55:47,417 --> 00:55:48,833 (Whispers) Jesus. 563 00:55:48,958 --> 00:55:51,792 Well, I don't know, Michael. 564 00:55:53,500 --> 00:55:55,583 I don't think anyone knows. 565 00:55:55,708 --> 00:55:57,958 I hope it's not for ages. 566 00:57:01,542 --> 00:57:04,583 (Mrs McDonagh) You know, I used to be so jealous. 567 00:57:04,708 --> 00:57:10,042 I was so envious of all those who lived on, 568 00:57:10,167 --> 00:57:11,958 all those old people, 569 00:57:12,083 --> 00:57:17,125 and my husband was going to die and he was still young. 570 00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:24,583 I'd lie awake at night next to him and... I just got so angry. 571 00:57:26,875 --> 00:57:29,625 But he wasn't like that at all. 572 00:57:30,458 --> 00:57:34,208 He said he enjoyed even more every minute we spent together, 573 00:57:34,333 --> 00:57:40,250 that everything around him seemed to be more special, wonderful. 574 00:57:41,375 --> 00:57:43,375 The sun was brighter... 575 00:57:44,292 --> 00:57:48,042 ...the colours of the flowers were richer. 576 00:57:48,583 --> 00:57:51,375 Even the grass was greener. 577 00:57:52,333 --> 00:57:55,000 I'm not sure I know what he was on about. 578 00:57:55,125 --> 00:57:58,958 Maybe he said it just to make me feel better. 579 00:58:01,375 --> 00:58:05,958 All I see is death, always there. Everywhere. 580 00:58:09,125 --> 00:58:12,625 Like some bloke hanging around who wants something. 581 00:58:12,750 --> 00:58:14,250 (Chuckles) 582 00:58:15,083 --> 00:58:17,417 Never show weakness is how I grew up. 583 00:58:17,542 --> 00:58:21,708 You showed weakness in one of those places, you were screwed. 584 00:58:21,833 --> 00:58:23,917 That's how I lived my whole life. 585 00:58:26,875 --> 00:58:28,708 But sometimes... 586 00:58:29,958 --> 00:58:32,375 ...when I drop him off at school, 587 00:58:32,500 --> 00:58:34,958 there's all those mums there with their kids... 588 00:58:36,042 --> 00:58:38,708 ...the tears well up. 589 00:58:39,875 --> 00:58:41,208 And there's nothing I can do, 590 00:58:41,333 --> 00:58:44,083 just turn around, walk away and hope that nobody sees, 591 00:58:44,208 --> 00:58:48,333 nobody... nobody comes over and tries to help. 592 00:58:48,875 --> 00:58:52,792 That's not weakness, angel, that's love. 593 00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:56,833 Yeah, but how can I do this to him? 594 00:58:58,875 --> 00:59:01,792 I've given him a family and now I'm taking it away. 595 00:59:01,917 --> 00:59:05,083 You are doing something very brave. 596 00:59:05,208 --> 00:59:09,000 You should be dead proud of what you're doing for him. 597 00:59:10,708 --> 00:59:12,958 I'm sorry, I mean... 598 00:59:15,958 --> 00:59:18,958 It's funny how you can rot inside and not even know it. 599 00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:21,500 I know. 600 00:59:28,750 --> 00:59:30,750 Do you still miss him? 601 00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:35,500 Yes. No. 602 00:59:36,708 --> 00:59:39,208 I talk to him every day. 603 00:59:39,333 --> 00:59:42,667 We had fifty wonderful years together. 604 00:59:46,375 --> 00:59:49,125 Our only sadness was that we never had children. 605 00:59:53,292 --> 00:59:56,042 I wish I wasn't so old I could do this for you. 606 01:00:05,625 --> 01:00:09,458 I finally threw out his toothbrush last Christmas. 607 01:02:09,042 --> 01:02:10,542 Come here. 608 01:02:22,208 --> 01:02:24,625 We don't have to adopt. 609 01:02:25,208 --> 01:02:27,875 I'm... I'm sure my husband and I are perfectly capable 610 01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:29,750 of bringing a lovely baby into the world, 611 01:02:29,875 --> 01:02:32,208 but it's just not our choice. 612 01:02:33,083 --> 01:02:37,583 The idea of waddling around happily expectant 613 01:02:37,708 --> 01:02:42,792 and then bringing a little tiny newborn home from the hospital 614 01:02:42,917 --> 01:02:47,250 and closing the door and... living in a little cocoon, 615 01:02:47,375 --> 01:02:49,375 all away from the world... 616 01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:52,833 It's just not really me. 617 01:02:53,875 --> 01:02:55,875 It's just not us, is it, Trevor? 618 01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:57,667 No. 619 01:02:57,792 --> 01:02:59,458 We-we both feel that... 620 01:02:59,583 --> 01:03:02,250 We like to confront life. 621 01:03:02,375 --> 01:03:04,708 We like to face things head on. 622 01:03:05,917 --> 01:03:11,042 And for us this would be... a new journey. 623 01:03:11,167 --> 01:03:12,500 A whole new adventure. 624 01:03:14,625 --> 01:03:17,042 And we have room in our hearts 625 01:03:17,833 --> 01:03:23,750 and we certainly have plenty of room in our home, so why would we not? 626 01:03:23,875 --> 01:03:30,292 And if someone needs parents, then we can be those parents. 627 01:03:36,583 --> 01:03:38,083 That's good. 628 01:03:39,208 --> 01:03:41,542 I'm, er... glad for you. 629 01:03:45,125 --> 01:03:47,792 Er... do you like him, Michael? 630 01:03:48,875 --> 01:03:50,375 His name's Jimmy. 631 01:03:52,958 --> 01:03:54,458 (John) Say thank you to Trevor. 632 01:03:54,583 --> 01:03:56,417 Thank you. 633 01:04:00,667 --> 01:04:04,542 He doesn't really look like his photo, does he? 634 01:04:04,667 --> 01:04:07,167 I mean, or you. Does he look like the mother? 635 01:04:09,583 --> 01:04:11,917 Aye, he has his mother's eyes. 636 01:04:14,167 --> 01:04:17,208 I mean, how any mother can leave a child? 637 01:04:18,125 --> 01:04:21,000 I mean, leaving the father I can completely understand, 638 01:04:21,125 --> 01:04:22,958 but leaving a child? 639 01:04:23,083 --> 01:04:24,917 A child needs a mother. 640 01:04:26,083 --> 01:04:27,833 Wouldn't you like a mummy, Michael? 641 01:04:35,458 --> 01:04:37,458 This will have to go. 642 01:04:38,500 --> 01:04:40,833 We jumped the gun a bit. 643 01:04:40,958 --> 01:04:42,458 Lorraine... 644 01:04:43,292 --> 01:04:45,458 We were hoping for a baby, but... 645 01:04:46,458 --> 01:04:48,542 But please... please believe me, we will love him, 646 01:04:48,667 --> 01:04:51,917 we will, er... we will bring him up with love. 647 01:04:53,167 --> 01:04:55,667 Not just for him, but-but for us. 648 01:04:56,667 --> 01:04:58,333 That will be good. 649 01:04:58,458 --> 01:05:02,917 A life well spent, something to be proud of. 650 01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:08,833 I mean, after all, what could be better than helping a child grow up... 651 01:05:10,750 --> 01:05:12,750 ...ready to face life... 652 01:05:14,625 --> 01:05:16,958 ...like your parents did for you? 653 01:05:19,292 --> 01:05:24,167 And to leave this world knowing that you contributed to something real, 654 01:05:24,292 --> 01:05:29,125 that your passage on this earth had a purpose... 655 01:05:30,667 --> 01:05:32,333 ...and a meaning. 656 01:05:34,292 --> 01:05:37,792 Sorry. You have to excuse me. Sometimes I go on. 657 01:05:41,667 --> 01:05:45,500 And, er... this... this is my room. 658 01:05:46,583 --> 01:05:49,167 Well, it's the train's room, really. 659 01:05:50,667 --> 01:05:54,333 Lorraine doesn't understand why I spend so much time in here. 660 01:05:54,458 --> 01:05:59,542 But there's always something to do, something to improve, something to fix. 661 01:06:01,250 --> 01:06:05,083 You just have to take the time to look at it, 662 01:06:05,208 --> 01:06:08,417 carefully, like a child would. 663 01:06:09,125 --> 01:06:11,417 Do you think Michael would like it? 664 01:06:13,042 --> 01:06:15,208 He likes lorries... 665 01:06:16,792 --> 01:06:18,042 ...and trains. 666 01:06:20,917 --> 01:06:25,667 - Maybe you could show it to him. - Yeah, yeah. 667 01:06:25,792 --> 01:06:29,958 When he's older. It's... it's all a little delicate. 668 01:06:39,583 --> 01:06:41,417 (Michael) Hello, Daddy. 669 01:06:41,958 --> 01:06:43,125 OK, huh? 670 01:06:44,750 --> 01:06:46,833 Well, thank you so much for coming. 671 01:06:46,958 --> 01:06:50,792 Michael, it was lovely to meet you. And you too, John. Real pleasure. 672 01:06:51,417 --> 01:06:53,083 Yes. Thank you. 673 01:06:53,583 --> 01:06:55,167 (Whispering) Trevor. 674 01:07:04,958 --> 01:07:08,042 Michael, Jimmy lives here. 675 01:07:09,417 --> 01:07:12,500 But maybe you could come and play with him another time? 676 01:07:20,500 --> 01:07:23,333 Er... Michael, I want you to say goodbye to Jimmy. 677 01:07:23,458 --> 01:07:26,875 And thank Trevor for letting you play with him, OK? 678 01:07:31,208 --> 01:07:34,208 Thank you for letting me play with him. Bye. 679 01:07:34,333 --> 01:07:36,833 Bye. Bye. 680 01:07:38,417 --> 01:07:40,917 Good. Come on, let's go. 681 01:07:59,500 --> 01:08:01,708 What's adopt, Daddy? 682 01:08:14,583 --> 01:08:16,583 Adopt is... 683 01:08:17,417 --> 01:08:20,833 ...when a child cannot be looked after by his mummy and daddy... 684 01:08:23,417 --> 01:08:29,167 ...and so he can go and live with two nice new parents... 685 01:08:31,875 --> 01:08:35,292 ...who can give him a new loving family home. 686 01:08:42,500 --> 01:08:44,625 I don't want to adopt. 687 01:09:02,583 --> 01:09:04,417 Don't fall, Michael. 688 01:09:04,958 --> 01:09:06,708 Be careful. 689 01:09:17,167 --> 01:09:19,750 (Shona) John, these things are done in a certain way. 690 01:09:19,875 --> 01:09:23,542 There are all sorts of procedures we're supposed to follow. 691 01:09:23,667 --> 01:09:25,333 They're not written for a case like yours. 692 01:09:25,458 --> 01:09:29,458 Where did you find those people? What fucking procedures did you use? 693 01:09:31,292 --> 01:09:32,833 I'm sorry, John. 694 01:09:34,708 --> 01:09:36,792 But it does happen. 695 01:09:36,917 --> 01:09:39,458 A lot of matches just don't work out. 696 01:09:40,583 --> 01:09:42,542 I think they were just hoping for someone younger. 697 01:09:42,667 --> 01:09:47,083 I wouldn't have given them a dog to look after. Not even a fucking rabbit. 698 01:09:49,792 --> 01:09:52,042 This is the biggest decision of my life. 699 01:09:52,167 --> 01:09:55,000 Don't they understand? Don't you? 700 01:09:57,917 --> 01:10:01,333 It's not about me wanting to be right. It's... 701 01:10:01,458 --> 01:10:04,417 I do understand. That's why I'm here. 702 01:10:05,125 --> 01:10:09,458 I'm breaking loads of rules I know about and I'm sure a few more that I don't. 703 01:10:09,583 --> 01:10:11,083 If Mrs Parkes finds out, 704 01:10:11,208 --> 01:10:13,958 I'll be asking you for a job before I finish my training. 705 01:10:16,542 --> 01:10:19,792 It's not even about them, figuring them out. 706 01:10:20,458 --> 01:10:21,958 It's Michael. 707 01:10:24,042 --> 01:10:26,708 I always thought that I knew him. 708 01:10:27,833 --> 01:10:29,333 I mean, I do. I do. 709 01:10:29,458 --> 01:10:32,750 You know, he's... he's mine. He's my son. 710 01:10:34,333 --> 01:10:38,750 But do I know him? Really know him, you know? 711 01:10:38,875 --> 01:10:42,708 Enough? For this? 712 01:10:53,500 --> 01:10:55,333 Oh, God. Fuck. 713 01:10:56,042 --> 01:10:59,083 Where's a drink when you need it? 714 01:10:59,208 --> 01:11:00,708 Why did you bring me to this place? 715 01:11:00,833 --> 01:11:02,667 (Chuckles) 716 01:11:03,750 --> 01:11:06,917 You know what? I don't know. 717 01:11:08,542 --> 01:11:10,292 For some cake? 718 01:11:14,875 --> 01:11:18,125 OK, fine. We'll go to a pub next time. 719 01:11:18,250 --> 01:11:21,917 Have two big vodkas. And then we'll sort it all out. 720 01:11:22,792 --> 01:11:25,625 Well... if you're allowed. 721 01:11:25,750 --> 01:11:27,250 Allowed? 722 01:11:29,042 --> 01:11:31,292 It's definitely not gonna kill me. 723 01:11:44,708 --> 01:11:46,708 Do you think you've cleaned that lorry enough, Michael? 724 01:11:46,833 --> 01:11:48,833 It looks very clean to me. 725 01:11:48,958 --> 01:11:51,208 No. It's dirty. 726 01:11:55,042 --> 01:12:00,042 OK, come on, lean your head back. I don't wanna get soap in your eyes. 727 01:12:00,167 --> 01:12:01,583 That's it. 728 01:12:38,583 --> 01:12:40,000 No more. 729 01:12:40,958 --> 01:12:44,542 We can tell Miss Rose they're all gone. 730 01:12:44,667 --> 01:12:46,750 All dead. 731 01:13:51,750 --> 01:13:54,250 (Groaning) 732 01:14:05,292 --> 01:14:07,792 (Panting) 733 01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:29,667 No, don't use my spoon. 734 01:14:32,958 --> 01:14:34,958 I told you it's rude. 735 01:14:38,583 --> 01:14:39,833 More. 736 01:14:42,042 --> 01:14:45,708 I'll get you more. Just please don't eat mine. OK? 737 01:15:09,417 --> 01:15:10,917 No! 738 01:15:11,042 --> 01:15:13,125 The tiger ones are dirty. You can't wear them. 739 01:15:13,250 --> 01:15:16,333 We'll wash them tomorrow. Now it's late. 740 01:15:16,458 --> 01:15:18,708 Michael, put these on, please. 741 01:15:21,917 --> 01:15:23,333 Michael! 742 01:15:28,833 --> 01:15:30,667 Michael, put the new pyjamas on now. 743 01:15:30,792 --> 01:15:33,583 And don't come out of here until you're ready to say sorry. 744 01:17:07,167 --> 01:17:08,667 (Chuckles) 745 01:17:24,542 --> 01:17:26,208 What are you putting in that lorry there? 746 01:17:27,708 --> 01:17:29,125 Rocks. 747 01:20:36,292 --> 01:20:38,792 Yeah, so I've crossed out all the bad ones. 748 01:20:38,917 --> 01:20:41,167 - Mm-hmm. - Put a star next to the good ones 749 01:20:41,292 --> 01:20:46,125 and a question mark next to the ones who, you know, do pay 750 01:20:46,250 --> 01:20:48,917 but just need a bit of reminding from time to time. 751 01:20:51,667 --> 01:20:53,083 Here. 752 01:20:53,208 --> 01:20:55,625 So, if you have any more questions, you got my number. 753 01:20:55,750 --> 01:20:58,917 - I should be on it for a little wee while. - Thanks. That's great. 754 01:20:59,042 --> 01:21:00,292 Are you going abroad? 755 01:21:03,000 --> 01:21:04,417 Aye. 756 01:21:05,292 --> 01:21:07,625 Oh, here are the keys. 757 01:21:08,500 --> 01:21:10,500 If you look after her, she shouldn't let you down. 758 01:21:10,625 --> 01:21:13,375 Brilliant. I will. I'll let you know how it goes. 759 01:21:13,500 --> 01:21:15,333 Oh, sorry, I almost forgot. 760 01:21:15,458 --> 01:21:18,208 This is for you. But don't cash it until next Monday, OK? 761 01:21:18,333 --> 01:21:20,750 - Cheers. - Wish me luck! 762 01:21:21,583 --> 01:21:23,167 Keep her lit. 763 01:21:28,667 --> 01:21:32,333 (Turns engine on) 764 01:21:45,917 --> 01:21:48,917 (Muted dialogue) 765 01:23:47,583 --> 01:23:51,333 Like the beetle... left its body, 766 01:23:51,458 --> 01:23:54,958 but is now flying around the forest... 767 01:23:57,125 --> 01:23:58,958 ...one day soon... 768 01:24:00,125 --> 01:24:03,208 ...your daddy will leave his body... 769 01:24:04,417 --> 01:24:07,750 ...but will always be around you 770 01:24:07,875 --> 01:24:09,708 in the air. 771 01:24:12,875 --> 01:24:15,875 Like the balloon in the sky? 772 01:24:17,167 --> 01:24:18,667 Yes. 773 01:24:21,875 --> 01:24:24,708 You won't see me, 774 01:24:24,833 --> 01:24:28,917 but you can talk to me... and I'll listen. 775 01:24:30,833 --> 01:24:35,833 And you won't hear me like you hear me now... but... 776 01:24:38,417 --> 01:24:41,417 ...you'll hear me inside you. 777 01:24:42,375 --> 01:24:45,208 - Inside? - Mm-hmm. 778 01:24:47,917 --> 01:24:50,917 Cos I will always be with you... 779 01:24:52,250 --> 01:24:54,667 ...in the air around you... 780 01:24:56,458 --> 01:25:00,875 ...and in the sunshine that warms you. 781 01:25:01,667 --> 01:25:03,500 And the rain? 782 01:25:04,833 --> 01:25:09,583 Aye... and the rain that gets you wet. 783 01:25:10,417 --> 01:25:12,500 And the grapes? 784 01:25:13,708 --> 01:25:15,208 Yes. 785 01:25:18,792 --> 01:25:21,375 I'll be there too. 786 01:25:21,500 --> 01:25:24,833 Not in the grape, 787 01:25:24,958 --> 01:25:27,292 but in the taste of it. 788 01:25:33,500 --> 01:25:34,917 Mmm? 789 01:28:33,458 --> 01:28:36,458 (Crossing beeping) 790 01:30:27,833 --> 01:30:29,667 (Door opening) 791 01:30:30,250 --> 01:30:31,917 Hi, John. 792 01:30:34,167 --> 01:30:37,583 Hi, Michael. It's so lovely to see you again. 793 01:31:17,484 --> 01:31:22,484 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 59741

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