Original subtitles

Boom!

Go, go, go.

- Aw! - Oh.

Careful...

Oh, god.

Well, not quite yet.

But that was something else.

- A good something else? - Oh, absolutely.

I never thought amenadiel's rod being used in my sex life

will be such a great thing.

And I never thought your invulnerability

- would have such extensive benefits. - Ifl had known

all I had to do was love you,

and the simple act of loving you would make me feel worthy of you.

Which would then mean that my body would no longer have to tell

my unconscious mind to be vulnerable,

allowing us to have no-holds-barred sex all night long.

Well, then,

I would have done it much sooner.

Speaking of...

Lucifer!

Would it kill you to knock?

Your door is an elevator.

Dear me.

How's it hanging, big guy? Ohhh.

Your return to heaven has been requested.

Ah, the more things change.

You said this was the morning you would ascend.

- Did I? - Yet here you are in bed, scantily clad.

Talk about things not changing...

It's time, luci.

Time for you to assume your place on father's throne.

Amenadiel, what's the rush?

Oh. What she said.

The world needs a god.

Yeah, but your dad was on earth for, what,

a few months and everything was fine?

Father may not have been in heaven, but he was still god.

And Lucifer has been here for weeks,

and look, is the universe collapsing or frogs falling from the sky?

No, not that we know of.

And if the universe were to fall apart,

don't you think you of all angels would know first?

I suppose you're right.

Still.

What is he waiting for?

You know, becoming god is a big job.

Maybe he doesn't want to go in halfcocked.

I should definitely be full cocked.

Chloe, it's a little too late to say he's not ready.

We just fought a war for him.

Well, technically, I did most of the fighting.

Amenadiel,

have a little faith in your brother.

He'll get there.

He always does.

Right, Lucifer?

Oh, yes, absqutely.

Don't worry. I know just what I need to do.

I need you to tell me what to do.

You need me to tell you what to do to be god?

Exactly.

Well, you helped me with all my troubles being the devil.

Why should the reverse be any different?

I thought I wasn't your therapist anymore.

And look at what's happened?

The world has no god.

Clearly, I belong on his couch.

Okay, so what is the problem?

Well, I have seven billion problems and only love one.

What?

Well, in order to be god, apparently,

I need to care about all the humans on the planet.

An impossible feat,

seeing as I find a large majority of the human race to be insufferable.

Then I was thinking, doctor, you help people.

I'd like to think I do. Yes.

And I've seen some of your patients, I mean,

Talk about mouth breathers.

So how is it possible that you are able to care about all of them?

Well, being a good therapist

is about taking your own opinions out of the equation.

Listening without bias.

Keeping your personal feelings to yourself.

- Oh, I think I understand. - Probably not.

You don't care about your patients at all.

That's definitely not what I was saying.

So what you're saying is,

I need to be able to help people that I don't care about.

If I prove I can do that,

then I'll prove I can be god.

Yeah. Well, I suppose you've had worse ideas.

Yes, thank you, doctor.

You know...

You really do have a very special way of helping me.

Amazing.

I suppose I do.

Oh, good morning.

Even better now.

I mean, you know, because of you. Not that dead body.

Thanks, it's, um, it's good to see you, too.

Um, I just

noticed they were showing supercop here.

I love that movie.

Oh, my gosh. So do I.

- Really? - Yeah. I mean,

Jackie chan is amazing, but personally, I love...

Michelle yeoh.

Yeah, she steals the whole thing.

Right? She is such a badass, like, she just comes out of nowhere.

- Yeah. - Remember that part

where she takes the chopsticks

and she just used them his weapons?

Yeah, she's like, shoo-shoo, and then Jackie chan just

throws a bunch of 'em, and he's like...

I scared 'em away.

Yeah, it's funny, I actually, um,

started taking karate lessons because of her.

- Really? - I mean,

I got a long way to go before I reach Michelle yeoh level.

But, oh, she's so fun, you know,

to learn all the moves.

- Oh. - I mean if you got kicked...

Oh, easy. Easy now.

- You are like... - Oh!

- It's okay. I got it. - Oh, butterfingers...

- Oh, hey. - Sorry. Yeah.

Old butterfingers over here.

Ah, don't worry. I drop stuff all the time.

Um, you know,

if they're showing this thing all week, we should...

- Murder! - What?

I-I-I mean, I mean, dead body...

Over there.

Yeah.

Yes.

So, uh, victim is a John Doe.

Uh, no hits on prints, no wallet.

Just a burner phone with one number on it.

Okay.

Any witnesses?

Nope. Body was called in anonymously.

All right. Uh, I'll put a trace on the number.

I'll grab whatever footage I can from cctv cameras in the area.

And what was the cause of death again?

Well...

Must have been one angry woman.

Or Michelle yeoh working on her moves.

Right. Yeah. Good one.

Yeah.

Oh, hey, Lucifer.

Out of my way, miss Lopez, I care about you.

But you, I don't care about you at all.

And that is why I'm going to help you.

Personal barista at your service.

I don't drink coffee.

Oh, man after my own heart.

Okay. Okay. Um, look,

I appreciate what you're trying to do here,

whatever that is,

but like I told you at the crime scene, don't need your help.

Well, unfortunately for both of us, I need you to need my help.

So come on, let me be the answer to your prayers.

I promise you, I'm all good.

I didn't want to have to do this

but one last time before I'm god. Tell me, Carol,

what is it you truly desire?

Really, I'm all good.

Oh, did not have you as the complex type but...

Come on. There must be something in there.

Yeah.

I want someone I can spend the rest of my life with.

Someone who loves me for who I am.

Somebody I can wake up next to in the morning

and just totally connect with.

Uh, I see. You want sex.

No. What? No.

Well, you are in luck, my friend.

Because you are looking at a literal sex god,

one determined to help you get laid.

Yeah. No, I am pretty sure idontneed

your help to find the right person.

- Hmm. - Besides, if I've gone this long...

Oh, I see.

I mean, I get a bit squirrelly myself after a dry patch.

How long's it been exactly?

- I don't know, 14 maybe 15... - Days.

Oh, that's awful.

Months.

- Fifteen months! - Shh.

How can you even walk properly?

Yeah, thank future me, I'm here.

We need to remedy this situation immediately.

I do not understand what is happening right now, but I can tell you this.

I don't need your help to have sex.

Uh, I could just come back later.

Uh, no, Ella. Um, we-we...

We're just, uh...

Uh, I'm sorry. What's up?

Um, well, we, uh, got the cctv footage back from the crime scene.

Uh, the actual murder took place out of frame, but we did get this.

- Is she carrying... - Bags.

And the names on those bags are all brand names of shoes.

Well, the running is very suspicious.

Yeah, especially because the COD was a stiletto to the neck.

Can we run the plates?

Already done. Kate Jacobs.

And guess what?

Her phone number matches the one in the victim's burner.

Okay. Looks like I got a date with the shoe lady.

Not a date. Uh, it is, uh, it's...

I have an interrogation with the shoe lady.

Uh...

- Huh. - Not a date.

- It's... - A date with the shoe lady.

Maybe she'll give you the horn. Shoehorn.

Thank you, Lucifer, so much.

Now, if you'll please excuse me.

Like I said, I do not need your help.

I need your help.

Oh, yeah?

Come in. Going a little stir crazy actually.

It's taking a while for Lucifer

to start running the family business.

And it's fine. I trust him.

I'm just not used to having this much time on my hands.

Anyhow, what's up?

Uh, it's that guy

Carol, you know, detective corbett.

It's just, uh,

it's just that, you know, well, he's nice. Okay?

Maybe a little too nice

and suspiciously normal.

And it's just, I mean, he's just too good to be true.

You like him? Aw.

No, no, no "aw." Okay, I mean, I...

I love kung fu movies, okay?

And apparently he loves kung fu movies, too.

But, I mean, he's clearly lying to manipulate me, right?

I mean, what are the chances we both like the same thing?

Um, well, you pretty much like everything Ella.

So pretty high.

Okay, fine. But he's alsojust super cute and insanely polite.

Says all right things.

And he picked up my bag.

Who does that?

He reminds you of Pete, huh?

It's just really hard to trust someone

after your last bf was an sk.

Serial killer.

Well, Carol isn't a serial killer,

and he was one of Dan's best friends.

Yeah, but you didn't know that Pete was a serial killer, and neither did Dan.

Right. Good point.

Well, what would help?

I don't know, knowing every single thing about him.

- You're saying you want to investigate? - What?

You mean, like, stalk him on Facebook or see if he's on Instagram?

No, no, no. I'm thinking more along the lines of the precinct personnel files.

Oh, I don't know about that.

I just... maybe I just overreacted.

No, no, no. It's good.

It's good to do a little recon.

You have to know what you're getting into

- come on. - Right.

I didn't kill him.

I sell designer accessories.

He was my best client.

Okay.

So if you didn't kill him,

why did you run from the scene of the crime?

Well, we were supposed to be meeting up for a sale,

but when I got there, I found him dead.

I panicked.

I mean, I still called it in, though.

What a stand-up citizen.

Wouldn't you agree, detective corbett?

Who is that?

That's nobody.

Please ignore him.

So if the victim was one of your "best clients,"

why didn't you wait for the police to arrive?

I mean, unless your goods are stolen?

I can neither confirm nor deny that.

What you can't deny is the chemistry between you two.

Seriously, who is that?

This is the voice of god.

Lucifer, please get out of there.

I'm here for you.

So as you wish.

Okay. Um...

Lucifer, that was

not an invitation for you to come in here.

Leave, please.

Assertive, yet polite. An attractive combo, wouldn't you say?

I am so sorry about this...

But also thoughtful and sensitive.

That makes you want to jump his bones, doesn't it?

What is going on here?

I am here to facilitate a love connection.

I know you two have so much in common.

Kate, you are... a criminal.

And Carol here catches criminals.

So, see? Perfect.

She is a person of interest in a murder investigation.

So you're saying you're interested?

No. No. Whoa, whoa,

- I'm not still in trouble, am I? - Well, that depends, miss Jacobs.

Do you have any information that could be useful to us?

Maybe the name of the victim, for starters.

I have his first name.

Fred.

I don't ask a lot of my clients. Just that they pay in cash.

Of course.

Uh, can you think of anything else?

Well, Fred was always buying this woman, Fiona, shoes.

But lately, I've been hearing about another woman.

In fact, I actually heard them arguing on the phone, and she sounded jealous.

Hmm. A messy love triangle speaks to motive.

And do you know the other woman's name, by any chance?

Busty.

It's a weird name, right?

It's why I remember it.

Wait.

I know a drag queen named busty

who performs at hamburger Mary's. Busty bazoongas.

There can't be two of those.

Pun intended.

Okay, well, if it's with the high-end accessories,

and it is the only lead we have.

Miss Jacobs, you are free to go,

as long as your alibi checks out, of course.

- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

See? You helped me, buddy.

So, thank you, and...

You are welcome.

I don't feel any different.

Come on, Marty. Just try my badge one more time. I'm sure...

Miss Decker, you are no longer a detective.

And Lopez, you don't have access.

Sorry, ladies.

Rules are rules.

Marty.

- Artisan donut truck's here. - Ooh.

Well, we tried.

You know, he's right.

I mean, rules are rules, and...

They're there for a reason.

But you know, maybe it's for the best...

Because_.

Ella, look,

the lock it's just...

- Broken. - Whoa.

Yeah.

Oh, you're gonnajust...

- Come on. - Uh...

Okay, yeah,

I guess, um, ifwe're quick... oh, god.

Well... aren't you an all-American slice of pie.

Table for one?

Hopefully?

Unfortunately not. I am detective Carol corbett,

LAPD. I'm actually here

to ask a couple of questions.

Um, could you tell me where a miss bazoongas, uh, would be, busty?

Yeah, she's about to go on.

She's just running a scooch behind.

Poor thing. She barely had time to tuck.

Our regular headliner,

didn't bother to show tonight. Frickin' Fiona.

Hmm.

So, Fiona works here, too.

Mm-hmm.

Would you say that Fiona and busty have a hostile relationship at all?

Fiona fierce?

She's literally hostile with everyone.

Let me ask you something, though.

Why are all detectives called "dicks"?

- Uh, you're a detective? - Yes.

Hi. I'm the club's manager, niles. Can I help you?

Great. Um...

Thank you.

So sorry to bother you.

I am investigating

the murder of a man named Fred.

What?

Fiona is dead?

God!

She was a bitch. But, she was our bitch.

Wait.

Fiona is Fred's drag persona?

That means that

busty was actually fighting with Fred, right before he died.

Whoa, wait. You think Brian did this?

Who's Brian?

Brian's drag persona is busty,

- the queen taking Fiona's spot. - Busty, got it. Okay.

Excuse me, detective. I have to go cue up the show.

Of course.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Are you ready for an amazing show?

All righty. Welcome, ladies and gentle-ladies!

Huh. Who am I kidding? I know you're all

bitches and whores, am I right?

Now, I want you to clap your hands

louder than my cheeks

while watching a Ryan gosling movie

during a thunderstorm...

Because we have a very special performance coming up,

one this queen would kill for.

My dear friend joining me onstage

puts the "ass" in classy,

just the "tip" in tipsy,

and puts the "hot,"

in ooh-aah-hot!

And he loves a tramp.

Tramp

Tramp

ooh

yeah

she gets too hungry for

dinner at 8:00 now

she hates the theater

but she never comes late

and miss ting never bothers

with the people that she hates

and, that's why the lady is a tramp...

Lucifer morningstar...

She gets beside you

she howls and she moans

tells splenderella

just to leave her alone

she's not so hot

but her shape is her own

that's why, that's why

the lady is a tramp now

she loves the free

fresh wind in her hair

life without care

- she's broke. - Is that so?

Hates California

it's so smoggy and damp

that's why the lady is a tramp now

she flew down to London

and left me behind

and I missed the crowning

but I didn't mind

she won't play Scarlett in gone with the wind...

That's gotta rhyme.

That's why the lady is a tramp now

she likes to go rowing down on central park lake

she picks a prize fight

that isn't a fake

why, she even goes to the opera

and stays wide awake

that's why the lady is a tramp now

I like the green grass

under my shoes

now what can I lose?

Lose?

- She's flat. - Well, that's that.

She's all alone when 1 lower my lamp

that's why the lady

that's why the lady

that's why the lady

is a tramp

Lucifer morningstar, ladies and gentlemen!

Thank you.

You never know where he's gonna turn up.

Ooh.

Ooh, and ooh-ooh.

Whoa, it says here Carol was in vice.

Wow. Infiltrated a citywide meth ring.

Takes a special kind of person to pull that off.

Yeah. Yeah, a liar person.

Shh. Trixie's sleeping.

But, I mean, isn't that what undercover cops do?

Run around pretending to be something they're not?

And... and he did it for three years?

Mmm. Two years.

Looks like he took a year off after vice.

Wait a second.

You're saying that after he was a professional liar, hejust vanished?

Chloe, that's even worse. Who knows what he was doing?

Well, working undercover can be extremely stressful.

He probably just took some time off to decompress.

Cops do it all the time.

Ella, I hate to say it. I just don't think

there's anything left to investigate here.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're probably right.

Well, did you find the killer?

It seems that you are the main suspect at the moment.

Say what now?

Look, in busty's defense, I did hear Fiona was a bit of a bitch.

Yeah, Fiona was a raging ball of a bitch, but she became my mentor.

I've always been something of a comedy queen.

And lately, I've been working on...

Serving more fish.

Upping her beauty game.

Nobody does glamazon like Fiona fierce.

She was helping me revamp my entire drag persona.

She even gave me this...

This really cute pair of heels.

From Kate?

Yeah.

Kate told us that she heard you and Fiona arguing on the phone.

Oh, we argued like trailer trash

in a Walmart parking lot on black Friday.

And for good reason.

Everybody sees drag as this pinnacle of self-discovery

that once you found this world, this life, that's it.

Supposed to be this...

Fierce idol that's got it all figured out.

God-like, almost.

Owning one's self down to the last manicured nail.

But confidence is a work in progress.

I mean, when is anyone's chicken ever fully cooked.

Know what I mean?

Yes.

Drag saved me.

This make-up, this jewelry, this is my armor.

And Fiona helped me see that.

Even though the paint can give me strength,

it still has to come from within.

I think I was holding part of myself back 'cause I was afraid that,

well, that if I put too much effort into being...

It sounds stupid, a pretty queen...

That people would laugh at me.

And not in a good way.

But ifwe're gonna change the world, and hunty...

We are.

Queens like me gotta work on facing all of our fears

and knowing we're enough.

If you don't mind me asking, uh...

What exactly were you and Fiona arguing about?

Fiona was pushing me.

I didn't always want to hear it,

but I knew what she was saying.

Yes.

I am busty bazoongas.

But until I can look within,

and own that,

I will never be...

Who you're truly meant to be.

Yeah.

And, we truly want to find the killer.

Good luck on that one.

As I said, Fiona's list of enemies

was as long as my luxurious wig.

Okay, well, at least I have the full legal name now.

I can get into financials and emails.

Well maybe, you and busty can do that together,

over a candlelit dinner.

Oh, okay, I'm flattered.

And you-you are adorable.

But, um, I'm afraid this queen's long-term Beau would object.

Right.

Look, don't give up hope quite yet.

Maybe the hostess is single.

She seemed quite taken with you.

Sure. And she's great, but not what I'm looking for.

Okay, well, just because I don't care about you

doesn't mean you can't care about somebody.

So, what are you looking for?

I don't know. Uh, somebody with a great heart,

who's kind, and smart, and gives great hugs,

and has amazing t shirts.

- Hang on. - What?

You're describing miss Lopez?

No, I'm not.

Okay, fine. I am. But don't say anything, okay?

Because I'm pretty sure she doesn't think of me like that.

Well, of course, she doesn't. You're monochromatic.

And I'm not just talking about your clothes.

But I have good news for you.

I happen to know miss Lopez very well,

which means I'm ideally qualified to help you transform

into the kind of man she would be interested in.

- Mm-hmm. - Let me be your Fiona.

Great.

Wait. No. What?

Um, excuse me.

You're excused.

Hey, who are you?

Did you escape from your room?

Chill, ratchet.

Not a damn soul.

Oh, well, you're not a demon.

Ding, ding.

- You are correct. - Look,

I was just on a break, and I kind of have to get back.

But whoever you are, you're really not supposed to be here.

Seriously!

You are really not supposed to be here.

You're an angel?

I don't understand. Who are you?

What are you doing here?

Came to see him.

Michael!

Oh, um... sorry.

Nobody is allowed to talk to the prisoner.

Something I can help you with?

Sure. Wanna help me destroy Lucifer morningstar?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Wait.

You don't want Michael's help.

He failed, badly.

"Epically" is more like it.

And that's why I want to talk to him.

I need to know what he did wrong.

So I don't make the same mistakes.

Oh, simple.

He overthought everything.

His plan was way too complex.

He should have just walked right up to Lucifer and shot him

like that stupid human did.

That guy actually got closer to destroying Lucifer than anyone else.

What stupid human?

Carol?

What's up?

Um, have you seen Lucifer anywhere?

He wanted me to meet him here.

Maybe I have. Maybe I haven't.

- I mean, I haven't, though. - Oh.

Do you want to, maybe, take those off?

No, I do all my best work in the dark.

Not in a creepy way, but, you know, in a...

Bad boy kind of way.

'Cause I'm a bad boy.

- Are you undercover? - Nah.

This is just how I roll. After-hours style.

You know what I'm saying?

This is all me.

I mean... it's not really me, but, I mean, it is me.

- I mean, it's "me" me... - Are you high?

No! Okay... you know what, um...

Ah, okay...

This was a huge mistake.

- You know what? That we can agree on. - Okay.

Just because we agree,

it doesn't mean that we're good for each other.

- Wait, hold on, what? - I mean, I...

- Do you think... - I gotta go.

Wait, ei...

Oh, leaving so soon?

I just had the weirdest... never mind.

- Where were you? - Well, I saw you two lovebirds,

and I didn't want to interrupt because I know how much you love a bad boy.

What? No, no. I do not love bad boys, okay?

Because bad boys are... Well, bad.

I actually hate them.

Oh, well, I wish you would've informed me of this personal growth.

Duly noted.

Wait a second.

- This was all your doing, wasn't it? - Yes, it was.

So apart from his name, please don't be upset with Carol.

Just tell me what you're looking for now,

and I'll make the necessary adjustments.

I don't even know. I mean, I thought I liked Carol,

the way he was, but I don't even know who that is.

I mean, he clearly knows how to lie.

Like I said, that was my doing.

And technically, it's not a lie.

But he was willing to go along with it, Lucifer.

Willing to manipulate me.

And the point is, I don't know if I can trust him.

I mean, if he can lie about being a bad boy,

then maybe he is lying about "liking kung fu movies."

And next thing you know, he's got a secret room full of murder flowers.

Ah, right. I see.

You're suffering from Pete-tsd.

I just...

I mean, it figures, too, with everything

feeling so strange, like god's gone. I...

I've been pretending like he's still up there,

but I'm going to need the real deal for this Carol situation and...

I've been trying really hard but...

I just can't feel him.

Well, I'm sure that somebody somewhere is trying to remedy that.

Unfortunately for you, you're not the person he needs to help right now.

Unless, if me helping you prove that Carol isn't a lying,

cheating serial killer can actually help him...

Conundrum averted.

Miss Lopez, I'll do it.

Do what?

You know, I always forget

what an excellent picklock you are, miss Lopez.

Uh, let's just do what we came here to do

before I change my mind and Carol comes home from work.

Hmm.

Oh. Posh, if bland, furniture.

A photograph of his mum.

Kung fu posters everywhere, see.

He is clearly what he presents to be, a poster boy for beige.

And since that's what you're going for these days, you win!

And so do I. Come on.

I can't leave until I see what's in his closet.

Will the helping never end?

Oh, come on. What are you waiting for? Open it.

Right. Yeah.

Okay, no secret room.

No murder flowers.

Nothing scary.

Well, speak for yourself.

Personally, I am terrified at the amount of khakis he owns.

Goodness me.

Wait a second.

There's still that missing year.

What was he doing that whole time?

Miss Lopez, Carol is not Pete.

Maybe you'll just have to accept that this one is just a good guy.

And that you deserve that.

You're right.

You're right. I've been doing the work on me,

and I've accepted my darkness, and I still love myself.

Damn it.

And Carol is the result.

A perfectly normal super-sweet guy.

Excellent. Now go forth and bed your man.

- That's not what I'm trying to... - No, no.

No need to thank me. All in a god's day's work.

- We should get out of here. - Actually, no.

I think I might send for a maid service

to enhance your bedding experience before you get...

Down and dirty.

What the hell is that?

It appears to be a locked,

human-sized trunk at the foot of his bed.

You want to go on a bounty with me?

Yeah. I think it'd be fun.

And my schedule is wide open.

Lucifer told me you're not going down to hell.

Oh! Oh! Congratulations on the engagement.

- Thanks. - Yeah.

So I figured you're probably busy planning the wedding,

so maybe I can help.

Something's off with you.

What? No, no. No, I'm just bored, really.

Okay. Well, I don't have any bounties right now,

but if anything comes up, I'll let you know.

Hold on.

So, if I'm going to be helping you out,

maybe you can help me out...

With, um some sparring lessons.

- Sparring lessons? - Yeah.

No offense, Decker, but I'd snap you like a twig.

What the hell was that?

I said I want to spar, bitch.

Bitch?

Okay. Okay.

Don't say I didn't warn you... bitch.

Come on.

[{Shafienng]

We done?

People lock things up all the time.

It doesn't make it nefarious.

Perhaps he is just housing his nicest pair of chinos.

Yeah, yeah, or a dead body!

Don't be ridiculous. We'd smell it.

Okay, maybe something's wrong with Carol.

Maybe something is wrong with me.

But I have to know what's in there, Lucifer.

- I... - I... I can't pick that lock.

I've got bolt cutters in my car.

Miss Lopez!

Would you look at that.

Lock's broken.

- Two broken locks in two days. - Hmm.

Weird.

Okay... open it.

Alcohol?

Well, it is a fairly good bottle of scotch,

but this seems like overkill.

"One day at a time."

Carol's a recovering alcoholic.

Oh, that is fantastic news!

I mean, well, no murder flowers, right?

We shouldn't be here.

Oh, my gosh. It's Carol. What do we do?

Well, I believe it's customary to answer it.

Right, yeah.

Hey, Carol, whatcha doin'?

You're not headed home, are you?

Uh, no. I am actually at Fred's apartment.

Yes, that's great. Uh-huh.

I looked through his records and I couldn't find anything,

so I figured I'd stop by here and see if I could find something.

And I think that I did.

Right, uh...

Somebody broke in and they rifled through Fred's computer,

which is currently open to a calendar event...

For his meeting with Kate.

Oh, uh, got you.

Oh, so you're saying that, um... That someone went there

looking for Fred and they didn't find him,

but they found the address on his computer,

and they went to confront Fred there?

Exactly. So I was hoping you could come over and dust for prints

because I am guessing whoever broke in here

is probably our killer.

Oh, I mean, fingerprints?

Oh, right.

Uh, I could totally do that.

Because it's not like I'm doing anything important, you know.

I'm just hanging out by myself.

Okay, great. I am at 602 maplehurst.

Oh, wow. That's right around the corner.

Really?

That's funny.

I live close by here, too. I guess we're neighbors.

Wow! What a coincidence.

See you soon.

Yeah, okay, um...

Bye.

So much for wiping my tracks.

Now you've seen me.

Okay...

Niles? It's... it's niles, right?

Why don't... why don't you just put the knife down, niles,

and then we can have a talk, okay?

Uh-uh. Nothing getting out of here.

And I don't want to hurt you,

but I will if! Have to, so...

Let me think, um...

Okay, go ahead. Think.

Handcuff yourself to that table.

Niles...

Do it!

Okay. You got it.

Okay. Just give me a second.

We good?

This is all an accident, you know.

I just wanted to talk to Fred, but...

Things escalated, got physical and we fell.

It wasn't until I got up that I even saw the heel in his neck.

You said you wanted to talk to him.

And what did you want to talk to him about, niles?

He was sleeping with my boyfriend!

I saw the shoes Fred sent him.

The little love note he put in the box:

"So you can see yourself the way I see you...

Truly beautiful."

- This one... - Hey...

- Carol? - We're okay.

We're good.

Right, niles?

Niles, your boyfriend...

It's Brian, isn't it?

Busty?

I love him so much.

But he started acting strange.

He was secretive.

So when the shoe's arrived, it all clicked.

Fred was having an affair with him.

Fred was helping Brian be a better busty.

They weren't having an affair.

Yes, they were!

It's happened to me before... With my ex.

He cheated on me, too.

Lied, hid things from me.

No, no... Brian was doing all the same things.

Your ex fooled you, but you weren't going to miss it again, right?

Butjust because somebody hurts you

doesn't mean the next person is going to do the same thing.

No, no...

He was cheating. I...

Supercop.

Well done, miss Lopez.

And...

Come on.

Okay, I'm out.

What? So soon?

- We just started. - Well...

You really are enjoying the super strength stuff, huh?

Yeah, it's fun to have this much power.

I mean, you would know.

- You love it. - Yeah, I love it.

It's great.

You know what else I love? Sleep.

I'm out.

Wait!

Same time tomorrow, yeah?

Chloe, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?

Well, like you said, I have a wedding to plan,

so I'm gonna... pass on tomorrow.

- You got him? - Mm-hmm.

Okay, thank you.

- Hey. - Hey.

Niles' story matches the autopsy report,

so, it wasn't premeditated.

And hopefully, that will be reflected in his sentence.

Oh, that's great!

Yeah, um... hey, uh, hold on.

Just, um... one second.

I'm sorry...

About the other day at Lux, the-the...

The after-hours Carol that is not me.

I was just... I was taking some very bad advice because, um...

Well... I'm just gonna say it.

- I like you. - I broke into your place.

- You did what? - I stole your personnel file.

I worried about your vice days and that missing year, and I broke in.

And I found your trunk, and I opened it,

which I-I-I know is something

that is yours to tell in-in your own time, and...

It's okay.

I'm not ashamed of it.

It's just... it's... it's something

that doesn't come up in casual conversation.

And as for the year, uh, that is missing,

I... I was in rehab.

And when you get out of rehab,

they tell you to take things slowly, everything,

including... dating.

And I think that's maybe why I've been so buttoned up.

And since...

I dunno, I've just been struggling to figure out who I am again,

and being around you, it just... it's just easy.

I'm just... The best version of myself again.

Uh, well, I-I get it.

I mean, figuring out who you really are is... quite thejourney.

- Yeah. - And, uh,

I am so sorry for what I did, Carol, and...

Okay, not that this is any excuse whatsoever, but, um...

The last guy I dated

was sort of a, um...

Serial killer.

And, uh, that sort of thing tends to lead to a little mistrust

in the romance department.

Wow.

Guess that's one more thing we have in common, huh?

Baggage.

- Yeah, buckets of baggage. - Yeah.

So... you're not mad?

Well, it's not great that you broke into my apartment

and stole my personnel file,

but, um, I'm gonna go out on a limb

and say it's a sign you like me, too.

You still wanna go see supercop?

Yeah.

Cool.

- Great. - All right, great.

Just-just one, one more. Just a tiny...

Promise me that if you ever wanna know anything,

uh, about me ever again, that, uh...

That you'll just ask.

Deal.

Great.

See ya.

Damn.

Ugh.

Eh.

Oh, sorry.

Were you using this?

Ah, finally.

An opponent. I thought I'd be forrest gumping it forever.

Here you go.

Ball up.

I'm not here for ping-pong.

Oh, whoa, holy... wow! Those are...

Wait a minute.

Did Lucifer send you?

Not exactly.

But he is the reason why I'm here.

You're ruining all my cool lines.

I heard you almost killed the devil.

Yeah.

Almost.

It's one of the worst things I've ever done.

In fact, I feel really guilty about it.

Very guilty about it.

Well, everyone makes mistakes.

Speaking of, how did you get so close to killing him, exactly?

I was manipulated...

By an angel.

Uh, Michael, right?

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah, I know. He's the worst.

Honestly, you shouldn't beat yourself up about it.

I mean, lots of humans, even angels, have fallen for his lies.

But... I'd love to hear your side of the story.

You're trying to manipulate me, too, aren't you?

What, you think I'm stupid?

No shit, Sherlock.

Well, you know what?

I'm not gonna help you hurt Lucifer.

I don't care who you are.

For all I know, that's what got me into hell in the first place.

Suit yourself.

But... just so you know,

Lucifer is not the only one who likes to make deals.

And, um, I think I know something you might be interested in.

What could you possibly do for me?

I can get you out of here.

Yeah, right. It's not possible.

Except it is.

Look, Lucifer said he's still trying to figure out a way.

_so__ -what's there to figure?

It's easy. I can just fly you up to earth.

Any angel can,

and we all know it.

So then why would Lucifer leave me down here for thousands of years?

No clue, but he did.

Anyway... if you're not interested...

Wait.

Maybe I can help you.

Look who's not so stupid, after all.

- You're still awake? - Mm.

Yes, and not in the good way.

Maybe I can help with that.

How was your day, honey?

Uneventful.

You? You feeling godly yet?

Well, I helped Carol.

But then, I was genuinely happy

when he and miss Lopez worked out.

That's a bad thing?

Happy for both of them.

Which means somewhere along the way,

I ended up caring about the stupid man.

So mission not accomplished.

Well, maybe this just means that you can

learn to care about all humans.

Well, I admire your positivity.

But if that's the solution, then I'm never gonna be god.

Lucifer.

- You will figure this out. - I hope so.

I'm sorry this has taken longer than we thought.

There's no rush, right?

It doesn't seem to be.

Maybe we should just... take our time.

Wow. You really, uh, put away a lot of candy in there.

Yup. Known to do that.

Call me "snacky chan."

Oh, man, you're so popcorn-y.

Well, this is me.

Wow, nice.

Yeah.

Hey, Ella, um...

I have to say that I think tonight

is the best date I've ever had.

Well, I would call you a liar, but...

Good night.

Hey,

if you're still up there...

Thanks.

What the...