Original subtitles

Did you hear something?

It's just the ocean.

You're gonna bone all night?

Come back to the show, you sex fiends.

- Let's go. - Whoo!

Excuse us.

Thank you.

Wow, you guys got here fast.

Wait.

Did you guys come together?

- Uh, no. - Uh...

Totally unrelated. Um, can I talk to you for a second?

- Yep. Mm-hmm. - Yeah, sure.

Okay.

Um, so yeah. We did.

Oh, my god.

I... I didn't know you two were a thing! I mean... I mean, I'd hoped, but...

Did you two bow-chicka-wow-wow?

No, no, we just kissed.

- Mm-hmm. - And then, guess what? You called.

- So, here we are. - Decker.

Decker, do you always answer your phone?

I just don't want my sex life

- discussed in work place, okay? So... - Oh. Mmm. Mmm.

Here we go.

Okay, Ella.

- So what do we have? - Mmm?

Bluballz.

You too?

No. Bluballz with a "z".

Fancy dj headphones.

Also, our murder weapon.

Electrocuted poor dj Matt pexxa.

How does one get electrocuted with headphones?

Oh. Well, you see, um,

this tiny little silver wire coming out of the padding?

- Mmm. - So, the current travels

through the wire and into his skin.

Now, you add sea air and his sweat.

Perfect combo for maximum voltage.

Oh. That'd be a sick dj name.

All DJs are sick, if you ask me.

So, any leads?

Well, we're not even sure it's a murder yet.

I mean, it could just be a wardrobe malfunction.

Oh, wonderful. Can we go home, then?

You know what? Uh, hold that thought.

Uh...

Okay. Pioneer.

Best mixers on the market.

Oh, here. The, uh, surge protector.

It's disconnected.

Surge protector, I see.

And, um... let's see here.

Well, looks intentional. It's a clean cut.

Someone sabotaged pexxa's setup before he went onstage

and so that, with the live wire and the headphones...

I mean, it's most likely murder.

Well, surely someone must have seen something

before our charred dj went to his demise.

Let's just question the witnesses and case closed.

Then we can all get back to our previous engagements.

Well, um...

We do have about 500 potential witnesses

that are all drunk

and most likely very high.

So...

We're gonna be here awhile.

See you out there.

Why is he still crying?

The doctor said he's fine.

It's just a phase.

You missed our coffee date.

Oh, my gosh, maze. Is it morning?

I'm so sorry. We've been up all night.

You're welcome to stay but it's kind of loud.

Pain and suffering.

- Music to my ears. - Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay... okay.

You have my undivided attention.

Is that a latte?

Okay.

So. Mmm.

Okay. I'm sorry, you must be going through a lot

- with your mom. - No.

So she died in a shitty apartment all by herself.

Sucks for her.

All I need to be is to not be her.

So, how do I do that?

- Use the blue pacifier. - I am!

I'm sorry, maze, what's the question?

How do I end up not alone?

That is not an easy question to answer.

You know...

Try swaddling him.

Oh, what a wonderful idea!

You just have to find someone to connect with.

I just scare everybody away.

Well, I'm still here. Right?

So, you just know that when you find

someone that you're romantically interested in...

You just try not to be so scary.

You know, be more open.

Emotionally available.

Emotionally available?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, okay. I'm so sorry, I have to go.

Huh.

Wait. I got you.

-Oh. Thanks -sorry. Yeah.

- Oi' butterfingers over here. - Yeah.

Ah, don't worry, I drop stuff all the time.

Oh, is that a 200mm macro lens?

It sure is.

I picked up this bad boy last week.

That's some professional level equipment.

- Mm-hmm. - Uh...

Oh, wait. You're LAPD, aren't you?

Yep. Bestjob in the world.

You wouldn't be able to give me anything.

- Oh, you mean like inside scoop? - Yeah.

Look, it's just... This is my first real piece

and I'm having trouble finding any leads at all.

Look, I'm not allowed to give you any real details.

Okay? But...

Maybe if you use my name,

the media relations guy can help you out.

Thank you! Thank you. So, what is your name?

- Uh, Ella Lopez. - Uh-huh.

Got it. Hi, Ella. I'm Pete.

Okay.

You know, like, um...

Maybe as like a real thank you,

I could take you out for a drink, or coffee, or a...

I'm not really dating right now.

- Cool. All right. Yeah. - Okay.

Um, nice meeting you.

- Thank you very much, Ella Lopez. - Yep.

Someone has got the hots for our Ms. Lopez.

Mmm. Not my type.

No? Seems just like you, perfectly adorable.

Exactly.

Not all of us can be in the perfect relationship.

Yes, it is rather exciting, isn't it?

No, that's dj karnal!

I... I mean, I didn't know he was headlining the show.

It must have been a surprise appearance. That's so cool.

Yes, I must admit, he may be the one dj

has even a modicum of talent...

But then again, his ludicrous name negates that.

I mean, karnal? Really?

Must everything be about sex?

- Chloe! Come on. - Oh, hey. Jed!

- It's been like, a minute. - Hi!

So good to see you...

These are fun, aren't they?

Oh, hi.

- Uh, jed, meet Lucifer. - Jed.

Yes, it's my real name.

What's yours?

Oh, Lucifer is his real name. Yeah.

- Oh. - So, what are you doing here?

Oh, well, this is a show. I'm a dj.

- Right. - What are you doing here?

Well, this is a crime scene.

And I'm a detective.

- So you did it? - Yeah.

I always knew you'd be a great cop.

How do you two know each other?

Oh, um... jed and I dated.

Right.

Uh, casually.

Yeah. Long, long time ago.

Come on, cherry Jane.

It wasn't that casual.

Um... uh, Lucifer is my partner.

Yes, partner.

So, are you still married to that guy Dave?

Dan.

We're divorced.

Well, I neverthought he was good enough for you.

Only one man is.

So, are you in a relationship?

Relationship?

You know, not in a relationship, per se.

Well, it was really good seeing you again.

You too.

Detective, we need you over here.

Okay. Excuse me.

_so__

Oh, I gotta take this.

Bollocks.

You know, our first kiss was by the water.

You remember that?

Yes.

You know, about what I said earlier, Lucifer...

Listen, I have dated guys at work before.

But you know, people talk.

And I don't want that.

And... this...

Us. You know...

We don't even know what this is yet.

Do we?

I suppose not.

Sorry. That was my manager.

I had to tell him iwasn't dead.

What do you mean?

Well, I was supposed to go on after pexxa.

Scary to see another dj die.

Makes you realize life's short.

Some not short enough.

Uh, do you know of anyone who would wanna kill pexxa?

A crew member maybe?

Wait, you think this was intentional?

Yes. We think that pexxa was killed with his headphones.

Pexxa's headphones?

He borrowed those from me.

This morning right before the show.

He did?

Okay, were the headphones out of your possession before the show?

No, I handed them straight to him.

What about your mixing board? Um, pexxa's surge protector was cutoff.

No, we all use the same setup.

Are you saying someone's trying to kill me?

Might I point out

that if no one else had the headphones,

how do we know you didn't kill our poor discjockey?

Right. Um, I mean, you do have an alibi for before the show, yeah?

Sure. I was with my producer the whole time.

- Just... just ask him. - Oh, we will.

Well, if you were the intended target,

you know, you're not safe here, so, best if you come with us.

Come on.

Ladies first.

God, I hate that guy.

They broke up right before I met Chloe.

But I always kinda felt like I was living in his shadow, you know?

I don't know if it's the whole "first love" thing or what,

I swear there's a part of Chloe

that will never get over his stupid chiseled face.

Sorry, man.

No, there's no need to apologize.

The detective had a child with you

and I've never felt even the slightest bit threatened.

Well, you're right. He does have a stupid face.

You know, he tried to get back together with Chloe when we first split up.

Look, I'm just saying, watch out for that guy, all right?

I wouldn't put anything past him.

Okay, so, we got a lead.

Jed's been receiving threatening emails

from a man named Raul blanco.

Yeah, some ass-hat who's pissed about

my foundation building low-income housing

at the Marina.

Of course he has a foundation.

Uh, detective?

I've been thinking. Perhaps we've dismissed dj dumdum

a little bit too quickly as the killer.

Lucifer, he has an alibi,

no motive, and trust me, I know him.

- Okay. - All right.

All right, Lucifer and I will go question blanco.

And, well, you just stay here at the precinct where it's safe.

Thanks, cherry Jane.

What would I do without you?

Okay.

Bring it in.

Hey, ehen!

Oh, hey, maze.

You, uh...

You're hittin' that?

Brimley?

No way, Jose.

He's happily married with five kids.

How do you do that, Ellen?

How are you so...

Friendly?

I don't know. I guess I'm just me.

You know?

Ella.

Hmm.

But, uh, gotta run to the lab.

Bye, maze.

So, "cherry Jane." Nickname from high school?

Embarrassing thing your parents used to call you?

No, just jed.

We went on a road trip once

and we came across this cherry stand and, um...

Well, yeah. Never mind.

So, jed was your first love then?

Oh, I see you've been talking to Dan.

- Uh... - Well...

I mean, we were just kids.

And it was great for a moment.

But it's in the past, I'm over him and...

He's over me.

Yes, he's completely over you.

Put karnal to bed.

Cherry Jane is the pits.

That's the guy who's been threatening jed.

Cherry Jane is the pits.

Raul blanco?

If you're here to protest,

there's more signs around back.

No, we're here to ask you about jed.

Karnal? And the lengths you're willing to go to

to stop this community outreach program?

Look, I'm all for helping the homeless.

But I bring my kids here.

The last thing this community needs

is drug addicts and mental cases roaming around.

Yes.

Yes, there you were minding your own business,

when some musical interloper comes into your life under false pretenses,

getting his grubby little dj hands all over it.

Exactly. And all these people feel the same way.

- Yeah! - Really? May I?

Thank you.

Do any of you know what zip code we're in?

Mmm.

And how about how much Mr. Blanco paid you all to be here?

I looked into you, Mr. Blanco.

Your youngest kid is 23-years-old.

And the only thing you're worried about protecting

is the reputation of your yacht club down the way.

- Well... - I know you sent threatening emails

to jed right before you tried to electrocute him on stage last night.

Last night?

I was here protesting.

- Oh. - I'd never hurt anyone.

I just need jed to move the shelter.

You know he works here, right?

The guy should be thanking me for protecting this neighborhood.

Just last weekend,

I caught a homeless woman breaking into his place.

Chased her out of that gate.

Okay, so, jed said the last time he saw his headphones was last weekend.

Well, why would a homeless woman wanna kill jed?

Maybe she wasn't homeless.

Maybe she broke in to tamper with the headphones.

She could be the one who wanted to murder jed.

Assuming anyone wanted to murder jed.

You okay?

Yeah.

Is everyone okay?

Just stay back.

Wow.

Isn't this convenient for jed?

His place blowing up? How?

Well, first someone tried to electrocute him on stage

yet "accidentally" kills someone else.

Now someone tries to blow him up yet fails again?

Either jed is the luckiest target alive

or he's behind all this.

Jed would be here right now if we hadn't kept him at the precinct.

Yet he isn't.

- He could've been blown to bits. - Yet he wasn't.

Why do you think he's behind all this?

Well, clearly, he's orchestrating all this

to get closer to you again.

- That's ridiculous. - Is it?

Electrocuting a colleague?

Blowing up his own studio?

No one would go that far just to be near me.

Well, I did go to hell and back for you twice, but who's counting?

Lucfieh

are you jealous?

Jealous?

Of a man-boy who scratches records for a living? Now who's being absurd?

I'm simply saying how convenient it is for dj dingus

that any and all evidence that could have been in that studio

is now completely destroyed.

Wait, maybe not all of it.

- Hmm? - Uh, blanco.

He said that the woman who broke in,

she escaped through that gate.

Maybe we can pull some prints.

Over, over.

And tuck, right?

- Yeah, but... - Looks right to me.

Every time his arms just keep popping out everywhere.

You know, at first I thought it was

because he had some sort of super strength but...

Then he couldn't even hold up his rattle.

So, you know, maybe not.

The crazy things we think our kids can do, huh?

Mm-hmm. I just...

Can't seem to do anything right.

Come on.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Look, what I'm saying is,

everybody gets it wrong.

Not Linda.

Linda always knows what to do and I'm always in the way.

Ah, I'm sure Linda feels just as clueless as you do.

What's important is that you care.

You're trying your best.

I suppose so.

Still, it would be nice if I could get Charlie to stop crying just once.

Well, I have faith in you, pal.

Thanks for being such a great friend, Dan.

And for taking the day off to help.

Well, wasn't entirely selfless.

Couldn't stand another minute around Chloe's ex.

The guy's perfect.

He makes me feel so bad about myself, you know?

And I kinda already do that enough on my own.

What are you talking about?

You're a great guy.

Hey.

Great cop, great dad.

And your hair, it's so high.

Thanks, man.

There are things you don't know about me.

Things I've done.

And no matter how hard I try,

I just don't think I'll ever make up for them.

Listen to me, Daniel.

We all have our demons.

Myself included.

But believe me when I say this,

I know evil.

And you, my friend, are not it.

Okay, so we're looking for belinda Roberts.

Ella pulled her fingerprints off of jed's gate.

Uh, park ranger said her car's been here over a day,

so she's probably hiding out.

Great. Let's just find her

so we can finally be done with this case.

So, you're finally over the idea that jed's behind all this?

Of course not.

Once we find this belinda woman, jed's co-conspirator,

we'll get her to prove that he's involved

and then we can all go back to life pre-jed.

Yeah. Well, I was hoping we could, um,

solve this case before the sun goes down.

Like I said, sooner rather than later.

Stop!

One more step and you'll die.

- Detective, careful. - Oh.

I know how to handle snakes.

Careful.

No!

Do you know how long I have been waiting

for copulation?

You and me both.

Clearly, you're not aware

of how rare sound recordings of rattlesnake sex are.

Well, it is not my strong suit, no.

Their foreplay is incredibly intense.

And if things go well,

their sex can last for days.

- Ah... - But you ruined it.

Listen, we are here to ask about jed Moore. Uh, karnal.

We know you broke into his studio.

I don't have anything to say about that.

Listen to me, miss snake pervert.

What did you desire from jed?

I want him to pay.

Pay you for helping him fake his murder attempts?

Wait. Murder? No.

He owes me for sampling my sound recordings.

His song, "ottervox"

relies heavily on my otter sex recordings

and I have not been compensated.

Well, that sounds like motive.

What were you doing in his studio?

I was planting recording devices.

I was trying to record proof that karnal stole my tracks.

Well, that is where we'll find proof that jed is behind all of this.

- Or of who the real killer is. - Hmm.

Hey.

Hey. Good news.

We found a woman who broke into your studio

and planted some secret recording devices last week.

That's good news?

Well, we're hoping that it will identify the killer.

Whomever he may be.

Hmm.

Hey, what's with all the gift baskets?

Oh, they're from my fans.

They found out my place blew up,

and they've been sending me stuff from all around the world.

It's crazy how devoted they are.

Devoted to you? Yes, that is crazy.

Crazy.

Wait, do you think one of your fans could be behind all this?

Oh, I doubt it. They're harmless.

Though I have heard of a few really obsessed ones

chatting on a message board.

But I've never had a problem.

That you know of.

I'm gonna look into it. You stay put.

Speaking of,

I am getting a little stir crazy here.

Well, I mean...

You still have to be safe.

You could stay...

- Cher, are you inviting me to stay at... - My place! Yes.

Yes, that's exactly what she's suggesting.

Excellent idea, detective.

It's like you're reading my mind.

- Great. - Yes.

Shall we?

Sure.

Nice digs.

Mmm. Appears we have similar tastes.

Yeah, I still can't believe I have to be here.

I mean, this whole thing is just...

It's crazy.

Almost as crazy, as if it had been concocted by a madman to, say,

lure back an old flame,

which is also pointless because the detective is spoken for.

Wait, are you talking about Chloe?

Mm-hmm.

- She said she wasn't in a relationship. - Well, she is.

I get it.

You're interested in her.

I'm not "interested" in her.

The detective and I are seeing each other,

which is why your little ruse is not going to work.

Listen,

Chloe's amazing.

I don't think I ever really got over her.

I mean, I named my foundation after her for god sakes.

I know.

But you do start to wonder...

Could she really be as amazing as I remember?

And then, when I saw her this morning...

Oh, man.

My memory didn't even do herjustice.

All those feelings came flooding back and I started to wonder...

You know, maybe this is fate.

But if you think I would kill pexxa

and blow up my own studio just to get her back...

I mean, dude,

you are even crazier about her than I ever was.

What are you doing?

Just making sure. Tell me...

What is it you truly desire?

I, uh...

I wish I hadn't screwed things up with Chloe.

Ah-ha! I knew it! Admitting to motive.

No. I mean, yeah... I...

I wish Chloe hadn't dumped me,

- but I just said that... - Wait, wait, wait.

She dumped you?

Yeah.

Everything was fine, and then, all of a sudden, shejust called it off.

So, shejust...

Changed how she felt about you without...

Without any warning?

Yeah.

Pretty much. Sucked.

Right. Then, jed,

I am going to need to know exactly what you did wrong

so I can steer clear of your every mistake.

Now...

Start talking.

I mean, even though we are just looking at last weekend

when jed left the headphones unattended,

still... oh, so many sounds.

I mean, you think a dj would want a quieter studio.

Anything on your end?

Listen to this. So...

Karnalgirl506.

"I left my whole world behind for you, jed,

and now, so will you.

I missed you at the show.

I missed you at your studio.

But you won't get away next time."

Wow, sounds ominous.

Yeah.

But sounds like motive and opportunity.

This karnalgirl506 could be our killer. Definitely female.

Maybe a jilted sexual partner?

Great, now you can go.

I can finish off this audio scrubbing on my own.

What do you mean "go"? Go where?

To Lucifer's.

I thought you guys were gonna finally, you know,

hang out tonight. Mmm.

- Yeah, well. - It got postponed.

Oh, you're nervous that you won't measure up in bed.

I mean, he is pretty experienced.

I mean, if! Had to put it like, in the thousands...

But you know what? You got this. You totally got this.

You're sexy.

That actually hadn't crossed my mind.

Oh! You're waiting on an std check. Super smart.

No, it just...

Listen, Ella. He cancelled.

I guess he'd rather spend time with my ex

than hang out with me, okay?

Yeah, that's worse.

Like way...

- Shh. Shh. - I mean...

Listen.

Do you hear that?

Sounds like someone's inside.

Wait, I've heard that sound before.

Brb.

Be right back.

See, Chloe loves a mystery.

We started out as friends.

Both aspiring artists.

We even worked together.

But I always wanted to be with her.

Possibly relatable. Continue.

In hindsight,

that's when the relationship was at its best.

Better without sex?

Oof, not relatable.

Seriously. All that unresolved sexual tension,

the will-they-won't-they kept her hooked.

Then we became a couple, and she just lost interest.

Lacking in the bedroom department. I see.

Well...

That won't be a problem.

Nah, man, the sex was great.

- I mean, like, really great. - Mmm.

Amazing, actually. The stuff she can do.

Yeah, yeah. Got it.

Well, that just wasn't enough.

It's the lack of mystery that did us in.

And my mistake...

Was wearing my heart on my sleeve.

Too much of an open book.

Really? 'Cause I've been in therapy, so I'm, you know, bit of an expert.

But I believe that talking about one's emotions is good. No?

No, see,

Chloe looks at everything like a... like a case

- that needs to be solved. - Hmm.

What I didn't realize was when she solved me,

figured me out,

she was done.

'Cause underneath the handsome, the sexy, the fun...

Hmm.

It's just me.

So, she moved on to the next mystery.

And you know, I don't blame her.

I should've played it closer to the vest. But I...

I was just so naive, you know?

Huh.

- Speak of the devil's girlfriend. - Hmm.

Um...

How's that for mystery?

Hey, Lucifer, uh, listen, I'm just calling

to make sure everything's okay,

and, um, I need to talk to jed about any crazy fans

that he knows of, so just please call me when you get this.

Shoot

oh, that was fast, Ella.

You changed your pants, shirt, face.

- Oh. - Hey, maze.

Oh, my god, I have that exact same shirt!

Yes, you did.

Wait. Did you steal my clothes?

Oh!

I'm confused.

I understand how you feel...

Ella.

Aw, you got my name right.

- Should I even ask? - Oh, ask away.

I am completely open and emotionally available now.

Just like my good friend... Ella.

Oh, okay, so you're acting like Ella.

And... you know what? Never mind. Real Ella, what do we have?

Uh, that beeping sound, right, threw me back to dinner at my abuelita's.

I mean, the old lady is deaf as a squid.

From the phone, to the door bell, to the smoke detector,

her place is full of noises the woman can't hear.

- Abuelita. - Exactamente.

Like this one time at my quinceafiera, she didn't even know...

Ella.

Right, right. So, I did some digging

and this beeping comes from a hearing aid with low battery.

A digital ite hearing aid to be exact,

just like the one my deaf abuelita wears.

So the killer's an old lady?

No, not necessarily. Loud music can damage hearing.

Oh, so maybe karnalgirl506 might wear a hearing aid.

Exactly. Ever plan a rave?

Amenadiel?

What's up? What's the emergency? Is Charlie all right?

Charlie's fine.

Charlie's the same.

It's Linda, that's the problem.

She just handed me the baby and left.

- Well, what did you do? - I just said what you said.

That it's okay that she gets it wrong all the time,

and that it's perfectly natural that she's so clueless because no one ever...

Oh! Oh, okay.

Right. I see what happened there.

Mm-hmm. Where did Linda go, again?

Yay! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

- Come, come, come, come on. - Oh!

You know, I'm good.

Uh, Linda, I'm not quite sure why maze called you.

But like I told you, this is a sting.

Oh, I thought you said vodka.

I invited her 'cause you know, girls night, lady love.

- Yeah. - Party.

Right, right. Okay, so first start with dancing.

Then more dancing, then bring it home with a classic girls night bar fight.

- Yeah! - Time-out, ladies.

Let me remind you that there is a killer here.

So, as long as that killer doesn't cry, spit up or wet themselves, I am in.

All right, good, I'm gonna find her. All right. How do I help? How do I help?

All right. Let's do this. Let's split up

and remember we're looking for a girl with a hearing aid.

- Right, we're so on it. Come on, maze. - Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, not that I mind being your date tonight,

au contraire, I am stoked to be with adults,

but where is Lucifer?

Uh...

Yeah, that's a good question, um...

Well, we just had to do this sting at Lux without him, you know?

- All right, hearing aid, let's go. - Hearing aid!

Can I get another drink, please? Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Down came the rain and washed the spider out

- who's a good boy? - What are you doing?

I have been trying to soothe Charlie for... it's...

- What time is it? - I don't know. I don't know.

And I'm helping out because I'll do anything to avoid that ass-hat... jed!

What's up? How you doing, man?

- This is making it worse. - Hand it to me. Jeez!

What are you doing here?

Shouldn't you be involved with the sting over at Lux?

I don't know anything about a sting.

- I'm here because I'm being mysterious. - Huh?

Well, the last place the detective would expect to find me is with a baby.

So, here I am.

Yeah, that still doesn't answer my question,

but if you're gonna stay...

You have any ideas how to stop this?

Have you tried whiskey?

Oh!

I love your hair.

Oh! Your piercings, they're amazing.

They look so, so comfortable. Yeah.

Oh, god.

Bad boy alert.

Focus. Uh, hearing aids. Hearing aids. Yeah.

Oh, love your lobes.

So, I can't go back to that manicurist no matter how colorblind she is,

because these nails are not for charity.

Would you, uh, like a screwdriver, Karen?

No! I have this reoccurring dream where I open the fridge,

and the only thing that is there is orange juice.

Fascinating.

Got milk.

Not that milk, luci.

You're doing it too fast.

You're still doing it too fast.

- Hand him over. - Be my guest.

Watch.

You see?

- Nice. - This is how I did it when I had a baby.

You know... with Chloe.

So what's this sting you were talking about?

Chloe is putting on a show over at Lux to draw out the killer

with you as the headliner.

- Wait, then shouldn't I be there? - It's too dangerous.

And Chloe is tough enough to handle it on her own, so...

Damn.

I have a birthmark shaped like a pineapple.

- Do you wanna see it? - No.

I mean... sure!

I would love to.

Oh, shit.

Yeah. My ex thinks it looks gross, too.

What are you doing?

What?

Oh, I finished my sections.

No hearing aids.

So you thought you can find one in that guy's mouth?

Oh, what about you, maze?

Okay, you've been talking to the same person the whole time.

Karen and I have had a very long

and meaningful conversation.

I feel connected to her already.

Yeah.

And every annoying detail of her life.

God, maze!

I know what you're doing, okay?

And pretending to be me is stupid.

I am clearly no role model.

I'm just a magnet for losers.

- Bnch. - See?

Well, I was just you for two full hours.

And being genuinely nice like that,

literally the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

But maybe you're right, Ella.

If all you think you deserve is some loser like that,

maybe I should learn from someone else.

Okay. The last girl to be checked is barfing in the stall.

Some people don't know how to drink.

Okay, so you've had sex with Lucifer.

Okay, um, yes.

That was a long time ago.

Right. Well, I mean, I know he has slept with a lot of women.

Tons. And men.

Right. Which I completely accept.

But you know, I mean, sleeping with the devil,

it must be different somehow, right?

Yeah, it's not like he has a forked penis or anything.

Oh, he doesn't.

I mean, it's totally normal.

I mean, well, way, way above average.

I mean, it's perfect.

Seriously, sex with Lucifer

is the last thing you should be worried about.

And what you should be worried about

is that he is unfathomably narcissistic.

Utterly terrified of intimacy

and sabotages everything good that ever happens to him

and so, essentially, he's the oldest most immature person in the world.

Nay, universe.

Oh, oh, oh. Hold on.

Oh, it's Ella.

Okay, so Ella says they finished checking

her half of the bar.

No sign of a hearing aid.

Oh, shoot.

If our killer isn't here, who knows where she is.

So I'm gonna call Lucifer and see if he still has eyes on jed.

So...

Dude! Dude, did you just throw your phone out the window?

Geez, you're such a weirdo.

Oh, it's Chloe.

- Really? - Yeah.

Hey, what's up?

- Yeah, that sucks. - Oh.

Yeah, Lucifer he's, um, I don't know.

I don't know where Lucifer is right now.

Yeah, yeah. I'm positive jed's safe.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Bye.

What the hell, man?

Well, you see, Daniel, the detective, is a detective.

So, I'm being a mystery.

Well, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard.

Jed explains it much better, don't you, jed?

Looks like you just got played, son.

What are you talking about?

Jed's after Chloe, I told you to watch out for him.

I mean, come on. It's obvious that he's trying to get between you two

so he can swoop right in.

Geez.

I'll go see if I can catch him.

What's wrong?

I've been manipulated, brother.

By that mewling little dj.

Okay. Calm down, luci.

Bad enough when father does it, but that little cretin...

- They could be right outside. - Good!

Jed can see who he's really playing with.

That's odd.

Do it again, luci. Do it again. Yeah. Yeah.

Do it again!

- Well, jed isn't out here. - Luci, stop, stop!

I'll call in a bolo.

Who knows where he went.

I'll find him.

Jed may have manipulated you, brother, but you let him.

You're right, I suppose.

Also, I need to you to help me to get Charlie to stop crying.

It's just ringing.

Okay, let's try him again.

You know what? This is so selfish.

- Yeah. - And I don't know what,

is he ghosting me?

What's up, everybody?

This song goes out to a special lady.

Cherry Jane, this one's for you.

He's not supposed to be here.

I know. But Chloe said that the killer is not here, right?

So... so he should be safe.

I mean, she looks majorly scary.

That's Karen!

Yeah, well, maybe Karen is karnalgirl506.

She didn't have a hearing aid.

Maybe she just didn't wear it.

Wait, does she have a gun?

Oh, my god. She's going.

Ow! Maze, what the heck?

I just wanted to take a selfie.

Are you karnalgirl506?

Yeah.

Ron? Ron, what are you doing?

Yo, man.

We can work this out. Just calm down.

Tell them! Tell them what you did!

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I don't even know who you are.

But you know who she is.

LAPD! Put down the gun.

They need to know.

He's a homewrecker.

It was just one night.

One magical night!

I didn't even know she was married. She didn't say anything.

You don't need to do this, Ron.

Yes, I do.

She broke my heart.

I messed up with the other dj,

and then with the explosion.

I'm not gonna screw up this time.

Look, your wife, she...

She disappeared on you.

Completely ghosted you.

I love her more than anything.

But she left me for this stupid, hot, charitable dj.

That doesn't mean you have to kill anyone, Ron.

All my friends gave me a hard time for not doing anything about it.

For letting herjust walk all over me.

And they were right!

Ron, listen.

You let your friends get into your head.

You should've just talked to her.

I get it.

I've been there, but you have to tell her how you feel.

That sometimes she drives you crazy.

That she can be incredibly challenging

and headstrong and frustrating.

But also...

Incredible.

And that despite everything, you...

You just want to be with him.

Her! Her.

Ron! Ron!

You're not gonna be able to tell her anything

if I have to shoot you.

So put down the gun.

Put it down.

Put it down.

Please.

That was just so heartbreaking.

Yeah, it's so...

Oh, god, who am I kidding. I don't care.

Wait, where's Linda?

Thanks.

Can't believe I'm gonna say this, but...

Thank you for saving my life.

Can't believe that I'm gonna say this but,

just doing my job.

That's all it is, isn't it?

What do you mean?

I'm pretty sure all that talk about, "tell them how you feel"

wasn't about me.

I mean, the thing is...

Lucifer and I are...

Something. But it's, uh,

it's new and it's complicated.

How so?

Oh, trust me.

It's complicated.

Well, it didn't sound very complicated when you were talking back there.

I believe the word you used was... "Incredible."

So I'll send everything over to ballistics and it's karnal.

Oh, hey!

Thanks, Sam. We're good here.

Twice in one day.

What are the chances of that?

I didn't know you were gonna be here, I swear,

butyeah_.lhoped.

Do you wanna go out with me?

- Really? - Yeah.

Thank you. Uh, I mean, great.

Yes. Yes. That would be great.

- Okay, I'll just... - That would be...

Cool.

Mmm.

Look at that. Breaking news,

local journalist gets cute girl's phone number.

Oh, geez, for Pete's sake.

See what I did there?

I see what you did there.

He seems nice.

I think he actually is.

But so are you, maze.

Well, maybe not nice,

but... good.

You don't think I'm scary?

Oh, I think you are hella scary.

But it's good scary because it's you.

And I know when you finally show someone how absolutely amazing you are,

you're gonna find your soulmate.

You can't find a soulmate if you don't have a soul.

- Well, case is closed. - Shh!

Sorry.

I just got off the phone with Chloe.

Jed's finally out of our hair.

The killer was karnalgirl506'sjilted husband.

I should've been there.

Instead I let dj dickwad get inside my head.

Yeah, how did that happen?

I've never known you to be the jealous type.

Please, I'm notjealous.

It's just...

This whole relationship nonsense.

How am I supposed to know what she's thinking?

That's man's eternal question, bro.

Well, we haven't even had a proper chance yet.

I can't mess this up.

Look, I know you two are useless when it comes to women,

but Daniel, you surely, should have

some sort of self-help, mumbo jumbo advice for me?

- You want my advice? - Sadly, yes.

Stop asking people for their advice

and just go talk to her, man.

It's my turn, isn't it?

We can take it from here, Dan.

- What, you sure? - Yeah.

I mean, you've already helped out so much.

I'm out of here. I'm exhausted, guys.

- Hey, man, what's up? - Oh, Daniel.

Is it too late for you to come back? I'm so sorry. You forgot something.

All right, man. I'll be right there.

Fantastic.

Idiot.

Well done, brother.

Well done.

Detective.

I was going to call you, but I seem to have misplaced my phone.

So I was just coming to see you.

Oh!

Come in, please.

Have a drink, if that's what you want.

I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry for disappearing.

I was trying to...

Well, never mind.

I was listening to advice from someone I shouldn't have

and I should've just listened to myself.

And... and to you.

No, I'm sorry, I, um...

I was nervous and, um...

The things I said...

Well, they were things that a normal person would say, you know.

And...

We're not normal.

No.

No, we... we're us.

And, um...

We're... incredible.

I couldn't agree more.

Well, um...

I'll, um...

I'll see you tomorrow then.

Absolutely. Yes, tomorrow.

Yeah.

Okay.

Good night, detective.

Good night.

Tether me

Tether me

Tether me

For a moment I was gone

Speed of light into the red dawn

in the space do I belong

it's dark out here in my own thoughts

pull me back

out of my body

I'm tied to my limbs

they're spinning me out of control

tether me

incredible.

Tether me

Lucifer.