All language subtitles for Lucifer.S02E08.BDRip.x264

Previously on Lucifer...

I don't care much for my dad.

But you clearly...
Care about yours.

I think he would
be proud of you.

Lucifer: Uriel,
that's azrael's blade.

You're not planning on
taking mum back to hell.

That weapon will wipe her
out of existence entirely.

No heaven, no he”, just...

Gone.

Why do you feel guilty?

Lu c I f e r:
Uriel didn't just die.

I killed him.

I need you to be honest with me

about who you are.

No more lies.

Very well.

This is where Lucifer buried
your brother.

Why did he do this?

- Lucifer was just trying...
- No, mom.

Not Lucifer. Father.

If he wanted to, he could have

prevented all of this
from happening.

I'm done trying to please
someone who isn't even here.

J'j'

J'j'

What the hell?!

Aah! Get off me!

Help!

Help...!

Man: Stop! Stop!

Man 2: Leave her alone!
Man 3: Hey, man, stop!

Wait. It's you?

You're kidding me, right?

We can totally work this out.

J'j'

j“ you got me feeling like. J“

and so there we were,
the detective and I,

standing in her kitchen, and...

She made me...

A sandwich.

I believe this is the part
where you tell me

it's much more
than just a sandwich.

For example...

Maybe it was
a gesture of intimacy.

You know, the slices of bread
representing, perhaps,

the detective's trust.

Or... was it
a mistrustful sandwich?

Doctor, please,

what delicious message
was she sending me?

What about Hitler?

The sandwich is Hitler?

How did you actually
torture Hitler in hell?

- Uh...
- I mean, is his cell next to idi amin's?

Or Mussolini's?

Or is there kind of a-a-a...

A tyrant wing in hell?

Right.

I suppose it was futile of me
to think that you wouldn't want

to discuss the whole...
"I'm really the devil" thing.

The actual devil?

Look, I have to say...

I was worried
I'd never see you again.

I thought I'd...

Scared you off for good.

Yes, well, maze,
of all people...

Well, of all...

Demons...

Gave me some needed clarity.

Did she, now?

- Yes.
- Right. Well,

speaking of clarity,
do you mind if we return

to my current emotional growth?

Oh. Yes.

Sorry.

Apology accepted.

80, um...

What do you think it means?

What about my uncle Edwin?

Is he down there?
I mean, 'cause he was...

You know...

One... he was one bad mama jama.

Lucifer: I think
I've broken my therapist.

And now she's somewhere
to the left of totally useless

and to the right
of babbling lunatic.

Oh, so she's you in a skirt.

Very funny. This is
serious, detective.

I'm actually
a bit worried for her.

Hmm, I'm sure she'll be fine,

but if you need anyone
to talk to, I'm here.

This is actually something
I can't discuss with you.

What? I'm sure I can handle it.

I've seen all your
ugly parts by now.

Not even close, I'm afraid.

Saved by the douche.

Our victim's name
is maddie Howard.

She was attacked when
she left her apartment.

The assailant chased
her down the alley

and stabbed her repeatedly.

19 times, to be exact.

Chloe: Overkill is usually a
crime of passion... they probably

knew each other.

She was killed
in broad daylight?

There must have been witnesses.

Yeah, a bunch,
but depending on who you ask,

the killer was a male
who's either hispanic,

Caucasian or black, short
or tall, brown or blond hair,

or completely bald.

So we're dealing
with a shapeshifter.

Well, eyewitness testimonies
can be unreliable.

Yeah, people's ojos go a little loco.

Evidence, however, does not lie.

We got substantial bruising
to the skin,

blade penetrated not only
soft tissue but also bone.

So the killer was
big and strong.

Also, blond head hair,
so odds are really good

we're looking for a white guy.
Dan: Hey, guys.

Got something over here. Tourist
caught the beginning moments

of the attack
in the background of a photo.

Chloe: Did you get
a look at the killer?

No, but look at this... we got
a good look at the weapon.

Dan: Pretty insane. Chloe:
Looks like a movie prop or something.

Can't be.

What do you mean, "can't be"?

A movie prop. Those things
are rubber, aren't they?

What?

I have to go.

J'j'

I don't really have time
for a hike, Lucifer.

Bounty business
is booming, okay?

So this better be important.

It is.

Is this...?

Where Lucifer
buried Uriel. Yeah.

Okay.

So if you two want to cry
it out, I'll be in the car.

What's happened, Lucifer?

Well, someone dug up the grave.

Yeah, I can see that.

But why?

Uriel's body is still there.

Yes, but azrael's blade isn't.

I believe the weapon
of the angel of death

is in human hands.

J'j'

So let me get this straight:
In human hands, azrael's blade

wants to kill?

It demands to be used to...

To fulfill its purpose.
Lucifer: Humans are more...

Malleable than we are,
so it whispers in their ears,

beckons to be held... it takes
any reason someone might want

to hurt another and...
Amenadiel: Amplifies it a thousandfold.

So if someone leaves
the toilet seat up...

Trip to stabby town, yes.

That's one angry-ass knife.

Lucifer: Yes, well,

it was stolen from
the angel of death.

Sis is no sweet peach, is she?

Listen, we're wasting time here.

We need to find the blade.

Why?

So a few meter maids
bite the dust, who cares?

People off each other
all the time.

No, maze, you don't understand.

This will accelerate.

Passing from human to human,
leaving an unimaginable trail

of destruction in its wake.

Yes, nasty little thing.

We need to retrieve it.

Oh, I'm so glad you're
on board with this, luci.

I mean, who would've thought
that bringing celestial objects

to earth might lead
to such destruction?

Ooh, I like the smug.

Much sexier than the earnest.

I'm just surprised that
you would actually take

a little bit of responsibility.

I thought an unmarked grave
in the middle of nowhere

would be safe enough.

Clearly I was wrong.

But... I clean up my messes.

Well, good luck, you two.

You'll want to help, maze.

No, thanks.

Let me remind you, I have a job.

And let me remind you that the
blade doesn't just kill humans.

It also obliterates
celestial beings,

including demons.

So, say the detective were to
find it and bring it home...

I get snuffed out
for not doing the dishes.

Which is why

the detective can't be part
of this investigation.

Now,

I'll need you two
to move Uriel's body.

Somewhere it won't be
found this time.

Very well.

And one note,

you're to do so without
disturbing the grave site

in the slightest, specifically
that footprint there.

Maze: Why?

Because I'm going to get an
expert to help me examine it.

Ella: You need a favor?

Yes, your scientific expertise
on a discreet matter.

Mm.

Paternity test?

What? Do I look like someone
who'd be so irresponsible?

Uh, regardless, if
you do this favor for me,

then I'll do a favor
for you in return.

Lucifer,

the whole point of a favor is
to do it for free, okay?

And then you just trust the love
will come back to you somehow.

Favors are about faith.

Ugh. Please don't
ruin favors for me.

Look, come on, I insist.

Tit for tat.

Fine, um...

Well, there is something
that I would like.

Mm?

But I'm not sure
you can handle it.

Oh, well, now I'm intrigued.

I mean, it might be a little...

Inappropriate among colleagues.

Oh, right, even better.

Well, why don't you, uh...

- Well...
- Okay, so...

Oh.

Oh, no, no. Definitely not.

You're the one
who wanted tit for tat.

Yes, if only
it were that simple.

All right, fine.

You have a deal.

Gosh, you're a nasty
little nerd, aren't you?

J'j'

j'oh, ohj'

j“ so beautiful j“

j“ like a love song j“

j“ you got me singing. J“

right. Here we are.

Does your favor
involve killing me?

I'm just kidding, no.

I need you to do
your forensic whatnots

and work out
what disturbed this area.

Uh, you mean this empty grave?

Look,

you said to me that favors
were about faith, right?

Yeah.

Well, I'm asking you
to have faith in me.

And know that I wouldn't ask
anything untoward of you.

You know, when you use my own
words against me like that,

it's actually
really hard to say no.

I know.

There's some very interesting
footprints over there.

Ella: Well, it looks like
we got a man's sneaker.

Okay, I'll take a mold,
but assuming

it's one of the major brands,
I mean, you're looking at a pool

of, like, two million dudes
in la.

Maybe 10,000 robust ladies.

Well, I was hoping for something
a little more specific.

That's not how
analytical science works.

Whoa.

Someone tried to burn something.

It looks like there's
writing on one s...

Side.

Yeah, I should be able to
reconstruct this at the lab.

Ah, excellent.

Right, whilst you do that,
I'll get back to the detective.

Oh, and remember...

Yeah, don't tell anyone

about your super creepy
non-grave grave.

Got it.

Chloe: So you worked
here with the deceased?

We didn't just work together.

I mean, maddie was a friend.

The person who introduced me
to the glory way.

God, I can't believe
that she's dead.

I'm sorry. The glory what?

The glory hole.

The glory way.

- Ah.
- Developed by

our guru, jenson glory.

The glory way is a mind
and body sensibility system

designed to reveal what we call

the "home you."

Right. Do people
actually believe

the word salad that
you're selling?

'Cause, I mean, look,

I enjoy a taut,
spandex-wrapped backside

as much as the next chap,

but that was one large helping
of spiritual gobbledy-gook.

Follow jenson's teachings and
you will uncover your true self.

And what if

your true self is a 400-pound
nimrod with flatulence issues?

Just saying. Some things
are better left buried.

Chloe: Given the
specifics of the murder,

we're looking for someone who
had a real hatred for maddie.

Does anyone come to mind?

No. Maddie was a wholesome
soul, a true light.

What about petty grievances?

Perhaps maddie drank
someone's probiotic smoothie

or did one too many peacock
poses for someone's taste?

- Lucifer.
- No.

Just... think.

There must be
some little disagreements.

So why don't you
write us up a list?

Anyone who so much as raised
a patchouli-scented eyebrow

in maddie's direction
could be the killer.

- See...
- Excuse us.

That's not the profile

of the murderer
we're investigating.

I'm just being
thorough, detective.

Like you said, "shake the bushes
until the truth flies free."

I don't think
I've ever said that before.

- No?
- Uh-uh.

Oh. Perhaps it was Ms. Lopez.

Mm. You've been spending
a lot of time with Ella.

You know, working
together, I mean.

Lucifer: Not particularly.

Hmm.

Shall we see
how this list is getting on?

Mm-hmm.

Glad to see you're hard at work.

You know, studies show that the
brain does some of its best work

when it's not trying.

That's why great ideas come
in the shower.

- For me, it's usually women.
- Hmm.

Any progress so far?

- Damn straight.
- Hmm.

I rehydrated that burnt
piece of paper

we found
at your super creepy place

using polyvinyl acetate.

- Oh, it's easy for you to say.
- I ran these pieces

through a pattern
recognition program,

and I found two things.

First...

What looks to be a map

leading from downtown la. To
that exact spot you took me to.

Right. What was
the second thing?

Some business logo
of a law firm.

What law firm?

Bloody hell.

I said no interruptions,
so unless

you're that broad-shouldered
intern from this morning...

Lucifer: Hello, mum.

Oh.

Heho, son.

It appears you've been busy.

I was getting bored
with my mate and offspring,

so I thought
I'd dive into my employment.

Not that hard
once you read the law books.

What law books?

Well, all of them.

Took less than a weekend with time
to teach the hubby new tricks.

Have you ever heard of something
called the reverse cowgirl?

Well, I'm thrilled,

mum, really, I am.

Here you are studying law
and the Kama Sutra.

And drawing maps
to Uriel's grave!

Did someone find the blade?

Oh, so you admit
that you led a human to it?

Well, not a human.
More like ten.

- Ten?
- Maybe 12. Uh...

- But..
- 15?

Only my craftiest clients.

I mean, I had to make sure
that someone would actually

follow through
and dig the damn thing up.

Why in the world
would you tell people?

What is wrong with you?!

Me? If you didn't want
the blade found,

you shouldn't have left it
in a hole in the ground!

A filled-in hole in
the middle of nowhere,

which no one would've possibly
found if not for you.

Yes. Well... there's that.

Besides, where else
am I gonna hide it?

Lux? You know how many people
traipse through there each week?

Well, I don't know.
Your bedroom, then.

Worse.

Yes... you are
sexually prolific.

Turns out, you get that from me.

Oh, mum, why?

Why would you release
azrael's blade into the world?

Because I wanted
to get your father's attention.

Your brother,

Uriel... my son... died.

Do you think it's crazy
that I wanted to talk about it?

Mourn with him, maybe?!

- I...
- So I reached out,

and guess what I got back.

Nothing.

Yes. Like always.

So I figured that if his toys
started stabbing each other

with a celestial blade, that
maybe he might take a moment.

Humans are dying because of you.

Well, humans die.
They all do eventually.

It's what they were
designed to do.

Yes, but not like this.

Your vacation here
has changed you.

You seem attached
to these creatures,

and I can't, for the life of me,
figure out why.

Look, you say you want
to stay here on earth,

to live with your sons, right?

So, a choice: Willingly help me
get the blade back,

or I'll send maze over here
to give you some inspiration.

Hmm. Fine.

You're killing
my reverse cowgirl high.

Chloe: LAPD
investigation, that's right.

Uh, just your whereabouts
around 7:00 am. This morning.

Okay. Can you prove that?

Right.

Thank you.

So the guy that complained

maddie didn't have enough
cool-down time was

at an ashram in sedona,
so, not our guy.

My pudding's gone.

I'm sorry?

In the break room fridge,
my pudding...

Clearly labeled "Dan"...
It's gone.

Not the first time, either.

Wow. Do you want me
to put some unis on it?

- Want me to schedule a stakeout? Are you even okay?
- No, Chloe.

I'm just saying that a man's
snacks... they're sacred, okay?

- Okay.
- What up, detective people?

- Hey.
- Hey.

Are Lucifer and Ella working on
a case that I don't know about?

Mm. Why?

No reason, they just seem to be
spending a lot of time together.

Is someone jealous?

What?

No.

No way. Gross.

'Cause you can
tell me if you are.

I mean...

We can be there for
each other, as friends.

Even".evenif
it's about another guy.

Right, but Lucifer's not
another guy.

He's a weirdo.

This is about partnership,
nothing more.

Partners don't keep secrets.

Well, maybe with Ella,

it's more than just
sex, maybe it's...

A little more serious.

Huh?

No, it's not like Lucifer...
I don't think he...

"Not like Lucifer" what?-What?

Likes poker.

Dan has a monthly game.

Oh, no, I love a good gamble.
Count me in.

Right, where's that list of
grievances against poor maddie?

- Chloe: Oh, it's the...
- Dan: Yeah.

- Chloe: There... all right, there you go.
- Lucifer: Lovely, thank you.

Why would you do that?

- Chloe: Okay, now you're making it weird.
- Dan: You're making it weird.

- Chloe: You're making it weirder.
- Dan: Sorry.

Chloe:
I'll make it weird on your face.

Duncan watts is our killer.

What makes you say that?

We“, just a hunch.

Duncan watts.

His offices are upstairs
above the yoga studio.

Oh, and he's maddie
and corrina's landlord.

Dan: Duncan was apparently upset
that maddie kept parking in his spot.

He also tried to have the yoga studio
evicted a few months ago.

Neither of which is really
a reason for 19 stabs.

Yes, but just look at
his stabby mug, hmm?

Blond hair, thick neck, which
suggests cro-magnon strength.

Just as our dear
Ella guesstimated.

Ah, "dear Ella," hmm.

Where you going?

I'm just off to see
this Duncan chap.

No.

We will go together
like partners, okay?

Right, yes, I-I just need to
make a quick phone call first.

Oh, okay. No worries.

Private phone call, detective.

Just give me a moment.

Yeah, sure.

Maze:
You sure this is the right place?

Amenadiel: Duncan watts, maze.

That's the name Lucifer gave me.

I got nothing.

Yeah, me neither.

Even if we find the blade,
it's a temporary fix.

Your mom is the problem.

She released the blade
to create chaos,

and you two respond
by coddling her.

Nobody's coddling her,
all right?

Tell yourself whatever you want,

but you know it's true,
and it explains a lot.

Explains what?

Doesn't really matter anymore,

but, just so you know,
this whole mama's boy thing?

Kind of a turnoff.

Oh, yeah?

Well, your whole "skintight leather,
hot body everywhere" thing?

- Mm-hmm?
- It's really not that...

It's not... it's not
that-that great.

Yeah, it is.

They're here.

Yeah, we should probably
warn Lucifer.

- Lucifer: Well?
- Amenadiel: There's no blade.

Right, use the back way out.

Ah, detective,

you know, after reflection,
I think you're right.

Parking space thievery is
no motive for murder.

What is going on with you?

First, you're so
eager to get here,

you practically jump out
of my car before I've parked,

and now you want to leave.

What are you hiding?

Hiding? What would I be hiding?

Blood.

What?

This is unit 831
requesting backup.

Soul depot,
15534 hillgreen drive.

It's Duncan.

Oh, must've been
some parking space.

Uh, detective.

Yeah.

Seems this class took corpse
pose quite literally.

So, no sign of
the murder weapon?

Uh-uh.

Are you sure?

Right. Nothing left for us
to do here then, I suppose.

Except for figuring out
how six people were killed.

I'm thinking the
primary killer was Duncan.

Killing maddie didn't satiate
his anger,

so he went after her clients
and probably got stabbed

when one of them
defended themselves.

I doubt it. More likely
the weapon was passed

from one person to the next

in a game of
murderous hot potato.

That's insane.

I know, right?

Totally insane and probably
exactly what happened.

I say this with huge
respect for the dead,

but this case is totally
gonna be a panel

at the next forensic conference.

Okay. So based on my preliminary

assessment of the wounds,

it looks like Duncan
came through the door,

attacked victim number two
with the same weapon

used to kill maddie Howard.

But Duncan had ligature
marks on his neck,

like someone strangled him

from behind with a yoga strap.

Like... this, here.

- Oh.
- Right?

Which is when he attacked

victim number three.

But victim number three
had defensive wounds

that matched skin flecks

under the fingernails
of number four,

so I'm thinking Duncan

dropped the knife...

Okay, number four
picked it up, right?

- Ella: Attacked number three, like this.
- Lucifer: Mmm.

Right, and then at some point,

number five got involved.

And so on and so on,
until full yoga massacre.

Oh, that will be
what the panel's called,

full yoga massacre

- 2016.
- Lucifer: Very good.

Okay, so, say that all happened
like you just said it did,

which is crazy.

There are seven mats
and seven bodies.

Yeah. So?

So Duncan was the
pissed off landlord,

not the class attendee.

Subtract him,
we're missing one yogi.

Okay, well, all of
the bodies were situated

around these six mats...
The student mats.

So that could be
the teacher's mat, maybe.

The teacher must have been here.

Get this.

Teacher training taught by

jenson glory himself.

I mean, his body's not
among the dead.

Could be our missing victim.

Slash attacker.

Chloe: Guy's a piece of work.

Jenson glory, his real
name is Jamie ostrowski.

Soul depot is the latest
in along line of

failed fitness enterprises.

Glory has five fraud lawsuits,

two sexual harassment claims
working their way

through the court system.

Sexual harassment?

Yeah, former assistants.

Both beautiful young women,
like maddie.

Oh, and look at the contract
that they sign

when students join soul depot.

"I surrender myself
to soul depot,

"body, mind and soul,

"and to the only true guru
of health and Serenity,

jenson glory." Wow.

Pretty much a cult.

Think he brainwashed
his students

into a Jonestown type thing?

Kind of a stretch, right?

That a yoga pun?

No. It's an honest question.

I mean, drinking cyanide juice
is one thing,

but a bunch of people
stabbing each other?

Totally insane!

A magic blade in Los Angeles

which belongs to
the angel of death?

Now, in the hands
of a yogi shyster

who's apparently touchy-feely
in more ways than one.

Okay, can we go back

to the angel of death?

Is he... uh,

is he another one of
your brothers?

Sister, actually.

The angel of death is a chick?

Yes, I sort of wish we were
back to talking in metaphors.

- Linda: That makes two of us.
- Lucifer: Because I do actually

have things that I'd like
to talk about, doctor.

Oh. Oh, yes. I'm so sorry.

Yes. Please.

Right.

So, my mum asked me why
I care so much

about these people dying

and I'm not sure I know.

I mean, it's not like
I know them personally,

and maze is right...

Even without azrael's blade,
humans are capricious.

Hell,

they're willing to
trade their souls

to lose unsightly
tummy fat, but...

Why should I feel bad?

Why should I feel responsible?

And... why

am I doing my own therapy?

Lucifer, I'm sorry.

I'm trying to digest this
whole thing myself. And, well,

there is no listing in the dsm-5
for azrael's blade anxiety.

Oh.

Excuse me.

Ah,

the guru with the doo-doo juju
has been picked up.

So, I'm afraid that's all we've
got time for today.

Just... call me if you
need to reschedule.

I wasn't even
at the studio, actually.

That's not what
the schedule says.

May I have a tea?

Siberian ginseng if you have it.

Well...

Hello, Richard Simmons.

Sorry I'm late.

Where's the knife?

Who is this tense man?

Okay,

back to the teacher
training class.

Can you prove that
you weren't there?

Of course, there's
a computer system...

All of the teachers have
to swipe a key card.

Even me. Check it.

So, where were you?

Home.

I missed the
last few classes, actually.

I've been... sick.

Obsessing over a
new toy, more like.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about something
that's probably beckoning you

as we speak.

Whispering to you
to do terrible things.

Wretched, sinful deeds.

That... that's true...

I-I want...

Go on, tell me. Tell
me what you want,

what you really, really want.

I want...

A raspberry cream cheese muffin.

And... and-and

to take this thing...

Off!

- Oh, my...
- Oh.

Expecting twins, are we?

Hey, lbackshd
a little bit, all right?

Carbs are the
devil's spawn, man.

Don't blame your
weaknesses on me.

- Huh?
- Is that why you didn't show up

to the class? Because
you gained weight?

Of course. No one's gonna
find their "home self"

from a guru who looks like he
ate all the furniture.

Well, I think I'd
rather be chubby

than a handsy dipstick
in a corset.

That's it.

I want my lawyer now.

Well, don't eat him.

J'j'

all right, listen,
we searched glory's house,

his car, his other car...

There is no blade.

We did find a safe
in the basement.

Pop-tarts.

Which... you stole?

Ah, I figured it's a win-win.

I'm saving the evil guru
from future fat,

and, you know,

pop-tarts.

Mr. Glory has a second
home in ventura.

If you wouldn't mind.

Okay, we'll check it out,

but...

Luci, if he's the one
with the blade,

he's much more likely
to go on a killing spree

than to stash it.

Ah. Come back
for your processed pastries?

Ms. Lopez!

Well, this is a surprise.

Have you found something new?

Oh, I found something all right.

Proof of bigfoot?

Tread on the shoes
Duncan watts was wearing

when he was found dead.

Tread that you showed me

at your super weirdo
hole in the ground.

They match, which means
that this case

and your favor

are connected.

Start talkin', dude.

Do you have something to do
with these murders?

Come clean with me.

Or I can't keep this
a secret anymore.

You see, that's just it.

The last person
I came clean with

became a tad untethered.

Dude, I grew up in Detroit.

Look, all I can tell you is

I'm dealing with a matter
of cosmic importance

and I ask you to indulge me
for just a little longer.

You mean have faith?

Tomato, tomahto.

Well, I guess faith
isn't faith unless it's tested.

Bring it in.

What? 0h.

- Chloe: Ella.
- Lucifer: Detective.

Ella: Oh, um... I was just...

Uh, you see,

there's this, uh, store
that has really special...

Soap.

And, you know,

but I should really
get going now and...

Clean stuff with the soap.

- Ella: Bye!
- Lucifer: Enjoy your shower.

Lucifer: So, um...

To what do I owe this pleasure?

Jenson's home security system
shows video of him sleeping

during the murders,
so he wasn't lying about that.

We checked the key card system
at soul depot,

and guess who was
subbing for jenson.

Corrina, maddie's co-manager.

Right, and where's corrina now?

We checked her house,
she wasn't there. Forensics confirms

that she didn't kill anyone
at soul depot,

so she's either running,
hiding or scared.

I put out a bolo.

Yeah, I don't think corrina's
the one running this time.

What?

Where are you going?

Hello?

J'let goj'

j'j'

j“ say come down easier j“

j“ I knowj'

j“ the fear will wash away j“

Lucifer: Hello?

Anyone here yielding a
deadly, celestial blade?

Huh? Anyone?

Well, that'il be
a resounding yes.

I... I don't know what happened.

I was in class
and Duncan barged in.

It was horrible.

All that killing...

And the knife was on the ground.

It started calling you.

Did I do that?

Yes.

You got retribution
for a grudge, I believe.

But it wasn't an
insignificant grudge, was it?

Did he harass you
like the others?

Or was it worse than that?

Years ago.

We were alone in the studio.

I-I... I said no.

I swear, but he wouldn't stop.

H... I tried to forget. I...

You tried to Bury it deep,
get on with your life.

You might have
succeeded, if not for...

The blade.

LAPD, hands in the air.

Dan: Move away from
the body, corinna.

- Now!
- I... h killed him.

I-I did this. I...

Acted in self-defense.

Mr. Glory attacked corrina
first. She had no choice

but to wield that
knife, detective.

I think, in this case, justice
has actually been served.

Henderson, take her statement.

Come with me.

Where's the murder weapon?

What?

Unis shouldn't have bagged
it without taking photos.

They couldn't help themselves.

Anyone else feeling
a murderous urge?

No? The need to slice and dice?

Anyone?

Oh, god.

Oh, no.

Detective douche... Daniel. Dan.

Why don't you
put down the knife, hmm?

Bury the proverbial hatchet
and all that?

I mean, I know we've had our
differences in the past, but

we're friends now, right?

You ruined my marriage.

I'll take that as a no.

My life went to hell
when I met you!

Hey! Well, technically, that's
not true, but I understand

the basic metaphor.

Easy with the blade, detective.

One deep cut, and yours truly
could be wiped from existence.

Prayers answered.

What...

Okay, detective,

I can assure you your current
mood will be rectified

by simply putting down
the knife.

My entire life imploded
because of you.

- What?
- My marriage!

My job.

My snacks.

What?

I know you ate my pudding.

You're really going to smite me

over a tub of sweetened goo?

You're damn right I am.

Dan".dan.

Recent friend.
Growing compatriot.

Your marriage
was already on the rocks.

You started cutting procedural
corners way before I arrived,

and as for your pudding...

As for your pudding, I...

Okay, yes.

I sometimes lay waste
to the precinct fridge.

But have mercy, Daniel.

How was I supposed
to know it was yours?

Because it was labeled!

You're fighting the blade,
which indicates a strength

I didn't know you had.
Look at me in the eye.

Look at me.

Your marriage.

Did I ruin it?

No.

No.

We were separated before
Chloe even met you.

And your career?

Palmetto... was all me.

Yeah. Yeah.

W-What are we doing back here?

Hmm? Oh, just a nice,
intimate chat between friends.

I'm glad you got it
off your chest.

Oh, man, you're bleeding.

What? 0h.

No, it's just a scratch, really.

Nothing to worry about. And you?

How are you doing?

I feel great, actually.

Good.

Good talk.

J'ohj'

j“ hey, hey, hey j“

j“ oh, yeah. J“

ah! Good morning, detective.

Everything all right?

No. Heads are gonna roll.

First, some tech pulled
the murder weapon

without documentation,
and now it's just gone.

Right. Well,
it's probably for the best.

Nasty bit of steel, anyway.

So, one second you're obsessed

with the knife,
and now it's just no big deal?

Well, we got the murderer,
didn't we? Job done.

You know, Lucifer...

I thought you and I had
a real moment the other day,

talking about my dad, I...

I thought we were partners,

but more importantly, friends.

Right.

Is this about me and Ella
in the penthouse?

Look, who you sleep with
is none of my business,

but...

I mean, the lab tech? Really?

It's a little inappropriate.

Well, much as I love to cross
professional boundaries,

detective, I can assure you,
everything you saw

was entirely work-related.

Mm-hmm? Is that...
Is that the truth?

Always the truth.

Point of pride for me,
detective.

- Gotcha.
- But you know,

if you ever did
want to cross boundaries

- into "partnered friends who hang out naked..."
- Okay.

Stop talking.

J'j'

Linda:
So, global crisis averted?

Yes. For now.

So, we can...

You know, talk about
caligula, Stalin,

trump. I mean,

I know he's not dead,
but he's definitely going.

Lucifer, I owe you an apology.

But in my defense...

You're the devil.

Things were much less
complicated when I thought

you were just another
average delusional patient

with a complicated family.

Well, I've never
been "average," Linda.

Mentally, physically.-
And as you know...

Sexuahy.

Oh, my god.

I had sex with the devil.

Many, many times.
And you're welcome.

Okay, now, see,
that I understand.

Narcissistic tendencies rooted

in a complex
paternal relationship

and a disrupted adolescence.

See? Just another
screwed up patient.

And you can treat me as such.

All right.

Let's do this.

J' bound and blind
my hands are tied j“

the doctor is in.

Lovely.

J“ my weakness
wasn't to declare... j“

Lucifer: I really do
have urgent business

to attend to. Are you certain

that this is the favor
that you desire?

Because, uh, believe me,
when I say the last two times

I've darkened the
doorstep of a church,

insert blood-soaked
carnage here.

Again, with the drama!

We solved your case,
now I get my favor.

Just go with me, okay?

Look, since the moment
we've met,

okay, I've had this spidey-sense
that you were...

I don't know,
searching for something.

- Right. Spiritual lost and found.
- Yes!

And I have found a lot
since I developed a relationship

with the big guy,
and... so might you.

Trust me. We're much closer
than you think.

Well, then, no harm, no foul.

I beg to differ.

Oh.

On second thought...

What?

I should at least give someone
a reason to go to confession.

J“ ooh... j“

j“ bad bloodj'

j“ bad blood. J“

So, where will you put it,
brother?

Somewhere far away from our mum,

for starters.

Mm!

And speak of the devil's mum.

Well, that was fast.

You couldn't have waited
a day or two to find it?

There hasn't been nearly
enough carnage.

Now we'll never hear
from your father.

Lucifer:
All the killing in the world

may not have gotten
his attention, mum.

Surely you've
learned that by now.

Uriel was our son.

Your brother.

We should grieve together.

I don't think that's
all this is about.

You want something from him.

What is it?

What I've always wanted.

I want my family back.

I'm afraid that's not possible.

Oh, but it is.

With my two sons by my side,
a united front,

your father will be forced
to listen to reason.

Force dad?

I think human delusion
is rubbing off on you, mother.

Tell her.

Luci, I can't,
because I agree with her.

I thought you were just team mum

because you couldn't
fly her back to hell.

- Since when did you turn?
- Now,

more than ever, I know
that humanity and divinity

do not mix.

That... that blade, luci.

That blade was the last straw.
It shouldn't be here.

We shouldn't be here.

Well,

- I am not going back to hell.
- Oh, this isn't about

returning to hell.

This is about heaven.

It's about going home.

Home.

For you, maybe.

Neither of you
understand, do you?

You never have.

Hell wasn't home,
and heaven was...

Well... he!!!

The only place I've ever felt

wanted or respected...

Is here? With humanity?

Yes. This is my home.

Deal with it, mother.

Fine.

Fine.

No sense arguing.

Time to go.

Careful.

It's sharp.

What's that saying?

"When my dear husband
closes a door,

he opens a window"?

The window just opened.