Original subtitles

♪ I used to think maybe you loved me…♪

-Yo! -Hey, look who's here!

Welcome the fuck back!

Whoo!

♪ And I just can't wait till the day When you knock on my door… ♪

Yo, Slater, Zack, huh?

You're my fucking girl, Kelly Kapowski.

What the fuck happened to Screech here?

-I never said I was doing that. -Bro, you are no fun. Seriously, man.

Yo, watch the fit, bro!

Uh…

I'm gonna grab my shit.

Hey. Hey!

Don't worry, OK?

She's gonna regret all of this. It's not on you.

Seriously.

With the results of the rape kit being inconclusive

and the boys staying consistent with their version of events,

I'm sorry, it becomes one word against three.

I'm supposed to forget that this ever happened?

Of course not.

However,

without anyone to corroborate your side of the story,

it becomes extremely difficult for me to present a case that we can win.

If I had no say in how this would go, why didn't you tell me in the first place?

I apologize if I wasn't clear about the process.

And the cab driver?

We discussed that maybe he saw something. So can you find him?

The cab driver was impossible to track down

without a detailed physical description, or a license plate, or an ID number--

Do any of the boys seem even slightly willing

- to reconsider their statement? - No.

So what are they saying exactly?

They said it was consensual?

And that you initiated it.

What the fuck? They're lying!

How could it be consensual when my underwear was ripped?

Mom!

Unfortunately, ripped underwear, even with a bit of blood,

does not prove rape.

It may indicate aggressive sexual activity, but that is not--

That's fucking bullshit. That's bullshit!

I hear you, Joey.

I want you to know that.

There are some resources.

You are supposed to be the resource.

You can't possibly know that I'm gonna lose.

So le… let's just keep going. Let's let a jury decide.

In my experience, we do not have enough.

And the last thing any of us want is to put you through the stress and trauma--

I'm already dealing with trauma.

This is how I fight back.

The defense

will not just use the lack of physical evidence against you.

They will weave a narrative surrounding the optics around that night.

Optics?

How about the optics of George and Luke pulling my legs apart?

Jamming their dirty fucking fingers--

So, you're telling me those optics don't matter?

There are videos

of you from that night

prodding the boys with sex toys.

- We were just fooling around. - Fooling around.

I think…

she feels embarrassed

that she hooked up with us.

She was sitting on my lap.

And she kissed me.

In…

In the video, you can see it.

She…

in a way,

kind of forced it on us.

Look, this is the girl that sends group texts of her nipple ring.

She…

doesn't wear any underwear and posts about it for attention.

Doesn't have a ton of self-respect.

All of us in the cab, including Joey,

were totally clear

on what was going down.

I just still…

do not understand…

…why she's doing this to us.

I was there the whole night.

It was just Joey being Joey.

You had a great showing,

and, uh, if it was up to us, we'd be seeing you in the fall.

But keep in mind that no matter how this shakes out,

you've got a very bright future ahead of you, Mr. Pakam.

So enjoy the rest of your senior year,

and, uh, the very best of luck to you.

Manny called in sick again. We are short in the kitchen.

Sick? Lazy.

I'm free.

I'll work in the back tonight.

Reema will host.

Saag paneer for the buffet.

I can host.

We have the leftover dal.

Call Reema.

- Are you gonna pretend that-- -Look at your face.

Host?

What will people think?

I don't think it's my face you're worried about.

Siddhartha!

Oh my God, that part kills me every time.

You're getting better, but you're initiating the air wrong.

You gotta keep the breath hot.

Start with a "tee" sound, and then keep replenishing. Here.

Posture.

I need a second. I can't…

Have you given any thought to…

what you wanna sound like?

I wanna sound great.

Who's your favorite player?

Coltrane.

Why?

Be descriptive.

I don't know.

I guess it's like…

It feels like it's coming from somewhere deep, you know?

Especially his later stuff.

When he started to get real spiritual with it.

He studied Eastern and Western music, and religion.

And then he used that to create this, like, hybrid sound.

Something about that blend just speaks to me.

It comes from somewhere deep.

I think you need to ask yourself, what is your sound?

And where does it come from in you?

Whatever's going on in your head is blocking you

from connecting somewhere deep.

Literally, the entire school is dressed up today like it's fucking 1985.

You're telling me they won't care about this sit-in?

Did you?

Up until like…

yesterday?

We're all narcissists. We don't care about shit but ourselves.

Bro, they care, but most of them don't know about Owen.

-Yeah, but that's why we gotta do this. -It can't just be about Owen, Jay.

It needs to be about the bigger picture. Like--

Students of color are not safe on campus.

Can you stop saying "students of color," please?

Dommo, I get that you're stressed, but can you--

But it's Black kids. Let's be fuckin' honest.

And Latinx kids. How many people you see like us in this damn place?

Fuck!

I completely forgot about APUSH.

I'm gonna try to cram. I'll catch you guys later.

Baby, hold up.

I'm so sorry. I know I was being rude in there.

Can we stop for a second?

Um…

OK.

I've been thinking about last night.

He's just a family friend.

Yeah.

OK.

I wanna say that, like,

I heard what you were saying

about your sister and the financial stresses on you.

Yeah, I…

shouldn't have said all that.

'Cause we're fine. Because--

You have a lot on your plate. I didn't know.

I respect your hustle.

I'm making it work.

What's this?

Look.

Three hundred dollars.

Not much,

but hopefully it helps with everything at home.

What are you doing?

I don't want this.

-OK, I… I just thought that I could-- -What did you think?

No, really, tell me.

That…

you'd, what, come and save me?

With your fucking Target money?

-You don't gotta be like that. -How did you imagine this would go?

I'd be happy?

Oh, great, $300.

I don't gotta worry about shit no more.

I just wanted to help.

I don't need your help, OK?

Just fucking take this.

Great.

Good luck.

And please, do not worry about making time for me in your busy schedule

'cause I definitely don't need this shit.

Books away, Dominique.

Ready to show me what you got?

Hey, hey, hey. Hey.

Away. Now, please.

All right, my history scholars,

you may begin.

"The history of mankind is a history of repeated injuries..."

Wait outside.

Mr. Phillips, please, I can't fail this test.

Fail?

This is grounds for immediate expulsion.

GA has a… a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to cheating.

-I shouldn't have to tell you that. -I'll do anything to…

I've never cheated before in my life.

This is bad, Dominique. We have to go see Metta. Grab your things.

Please. Please, you know me.

You know this isn't me.

What's going on with you?

I have to fail you.

I'm so sorry.

It's either an "F" or expulsion.

It's up to you.

Wendi, it's not actually funny…

He's absolutely a rapist.

Leila?

Does it feel weird to know

you were stupid enough to hook up with a predator?

I was saying, "Are you excited your boyfriend's back?"

What?

George Wright.

He's back in school today. Isn't he your boyfriend?

No, he's not.

Really lovely work, Wendi. I'm so excited for that presentation.

A check-minus?

Uh, you know what? Why don't you stay? We'll just talk for a minute, OK?

All right. Everybody, have a great day.

Remember, final presentations next week.

Let's really do what we can to just raise the level on them, all right?

Was there something I was supposed to do differently?

I did a lot of research. I picked an underrepresented group--

You put a lot of hard work in, that is clear,

but what you're missing is the personal connection.

-OK. -Why the Kaifeng Jews? Why you?

Well, I'm Chinese technically, but my parents are Jewish.

Great! But you don't write about that in your paper.

Do you have family in China? What about calling a grandparent

or another relative and getting their perspective?

I'm not sure.

OK, I'm trying to help you come up with creative ways

of bringing your own story into the project,

which was the assignment.

Otherwise, this is where you're headed in terms of a grade.

He's like,

"Hey, girl,

why aren't you moaning,

screaming,

saying my name?"

I'm like,

"Hey, boy,

you don't know what real pleasure sounds like."

He's like,

"Show me what it sounds like, baby."

I'm like,

"You haven't earned my sounds."

Leila,

you have an emotional wall up.

Lay yourself on the line.

But I feel like I am.

When will he realize

that the only pleasure sound that really matters

is the word "yes"?

You're pretending.

You don't actually know who you really are up there.

And your ASL is off.

This isn't going to work.

We need to use someone else. She isn't strong.

Fuck you!

I don't wanna diminish that.

I do think, however, it's important for us to focus on looking ahead.

There's a lot of healing that can happen

outside of our very imperfect justice system.

Joey?

Sorry.

Let's talk about what's…

going on in your body right now,

and how you're processing the trauma.

Which one?

The rape that never happened?

Or the rape kit I stupidly put myself through,

even though everybody told me it would turn up nothing?

Or maybe the fact that I've…

fucked my entire life over for no good reason?

Which one do you wanna talk about?

When do you start Sacred Heart?

I start next week.

How are you feeling about it?

Like I can't believe that I have to start over at a new school

at the end of junior year…

and live with my dad.

How is it going at your dad's?

It's only been one night.

I don't know. I know he's trying, but…

it's just really weird.

Tell me about that.

When…

…he came to my mom's place…

…after she told him what happened,

it's the first time that he'd been inside of our apartment since he moved out,

and not just, like, in the doorway or by the elevator.

And he stayed the whole night, and…

I hated having him there.

But then it was like,

"You should fucking live here."

And I've been so fucking mad at him for cheating on my mom.

But then that night, he was, like, sitting on our couch…

and he cried.

It was the first time we hugged like that in a really long time.

And I was like…

this is still my dad.

And I'm still his little kid.

And now he can probably picture it, you know?

And I'm responsible for that.

I'm fucking things up for everyone,

and I wish that my family wouldn't have to be impacted by this bullshit.

Joey…

you are not responsible.

Yeah, I am though.

Like, no matter what everybody's saying, I actually am.

I chose to go with them.

I hailed the cab.

I got fucked up.

But I still feel like I'm doing everything that I'm supposed to be doing.

But I've lost so much in all of this, and they've lost nothing.

Fuck me!

So I'm trying to understand, but I have questions.

OK.

All the stuff about next year and the taking the bus to come to see me,

and you don't wanna be away from me. Was any of that real?

Yeah.

I… I wanted it to be.

So you were just gonna date me, even though you knew that--

I didn't know.

I mean, I knew, but…

I thought if I could keep focusing on you, things could be different.

But it wasn't?

We had sex.

-I never meant to hurt you or use you-- -Yeah, I know, but you did use me.

And I'm fucking pissed.

And it makes me angry because I know it's not your fault, not all of it.

I wanna be there for you because I love you.

Saying that makes me feel like a fucking idiot.

You're not an idiot.

- Did you think I would judge you? - No!

Then what then?

Being with you made me feel…

normal.

It made me feel like…

the son my parents always wanted me to be.

The guy the team always needed me to be.

You made me feel…

like who I wanted to be, instead of…

And I love you.

Don't say that.

I do love you. It's just…

Oh fuck.

Have you tried anything? With guys?

While we were together?

-Did you use fucking condoms? -I never fully…

I'm such a stupid idiot.

I really thought that…

What am I even doing here?

I don't know if you want me to…

I'm sorry.

I'm really fucking sorry.

I apologized to everyone,

and no one's accepted my apology.

No one's texted me back.

Rachel basically doesn't talk to me, and what did I really even do?

Did you tell Rachel you're going through a lot of changes and--

Yes, and she was dismissive.

So, how can she say I'm being a bad friend when she just…

And also, can I just say…

why is it so wrong that I've changed a little?

Like, why won't she just accept my apology and move on?

I think it might help to think about this a little differently.

All of this is a practice.

Atonement, for example, it's a lifestyle.

A value system, right?

Apologies are part of that, sure, but…

…it's a longer road.

Yeah, I get that.

It's just, I'm really upset, and I need to find a way that--

Leila, why don't you and your family come to services tomorrow?

I think you might really respond to the sense of community here.

My parents aren't religious.

So…

Is there really nothing else you can think of that I can do right now?

I wish Judaism worked like that, but…

unfortunately,

no quick fixes in the Torah.

I'm happy to have these conversations with you.

I do wanna make sure you know…

there is a difference between a spiritual adviser…

and a therapist.

If you feel like you might wanna talk to someone, we have resources here.

I can get some recommendations.

No, thanks. I'm fine.

Do you have to get that?

Yeah, I should.

Just give me a second, OK?

Hi, baby. What's going on?

You OK?

Look, Dom.

How could I be so fucking dumb?

Hey. Remember how you always tell us not to be so hard on ourselves?

I could have been expelled, Sonny.

All that I'm working for, everything… gone.

Yeah, but that didn't happen.

So maybe you just need to give yourself a break.

Oh man…

Can you guys for real stop?

They don't like if you're trying on the wigs.

Oh yeah, fuck. Sorry.

I buy from here almost, like, every damn day.

I don't need her thinking me and my friends are disrespectful.

Want me to hunt down product for you?

Yo, I know today's been shit, but it's gonna be good, bro.

Just let it go. And we're here for you to support you, and--

Did I ask you to do that?

What?

Y'all didn't need to come here.

Like you said, I'll be good.

- Yeah? - Yes.

I know you see me a lot. I've been here, like, four times a week.

I was wondering if you guys have,

like, a frequent shopper discount I can get, or, like…

No.

I spend a lot of money here.

I don't wanna have to take my business elsewhere.

-'Cause you know there's like-- -So, you have no money to pay?

Next customer, please.

I have the money!

What does this look like to you? I just know you're up-pricing.

How are you charging $45 for this hair?

This is cheap shit!

You know what?

Forget this.

I gotta spend all my money to make fucking money? Fuck this shit!

Dom!

Dommo, what's wrong?

I'm good.

I can't keep doing this.

I can't.

There's never a break. I can't fucking catch up.

- It's gonna be OK. - Just relax.

No, it's not.

My mom's friend has this nephew.

He needs his green card.

He'll pay us $10,000.

For what?

If I…

…just go to City Hall and we'd get married,

- and I would just have to start-- -What? No.

-What? -Dom, you're not gonna do that.

I mean, I can.

People do it all the time. It's not a big deal.

-Yes, it is. -It's a piece of paper.

With, like, a whole bunch of real shit that goes along with it.

-Look, I know stuff's been tight. -No, you don't know!

-OK, fine, but what I'm saying-- -But what?

There's no better option. Trust me, I've tried everything.

Well, not this.

That's really easy for you to say.

-Your mom can't really want-- -Don't even make it like that.

Like we're ignorant, or…

…or we're fucked up. It's not like that.

Oh, yo! It supposed to sound like that?

All right, man.

OK. OK. All right. All right. You legit.

-You legit, man. -Word. You're looking up.

I know you! You go to Harlem Renaissance, right?

Nah, man, I go to Grand Army.

You know, um… anyone who died in that bomb?

Nah.

You know, every time I see an Arab Muslim dude now,

I'm like, "All right…

what's in that backpack, motherfucker?"

- Yo, that's fucked up, man. - For real.

So wait. Why you up here if you a BK boy?

-Bro, you mad stupid, son! -I live up here, bro.

- I just go to school there. - Wait, you play ball at Marcus Garvey?

Yo, um…

I couldn't possibly buy off you guys, could I?

Oh!

-We look like dealers to you? -Nah. I mean, but y'all smoking.

-I thought y'all might have… -That's kind of fucked up.

Nah, man, that's-- Look, I'm just desperate right now.

And this piece of music is a fucking beast.

I'm not the one that's supposed to be playing it. I didn't mean it like that.

Look, look, look, man. We don't sell, but we do share, man.

Go ahead, hit that shit, bro. You're cool.

What's the song for though?

A performance.

Big?

Yeah, very.

I'm about to fuck it up in front of 500 people.

Five hundred?

-Who it belong to? -My boy, Owen.

My best friend.

Why he not playing?

He got suspended. Sixty days.

Damn!

Shit, bro, I got suspended so many times, I just dropped out.

- It's fucked up. - Your boy cool with you

jacking his look?

-He doesn't know. -Yo, you cold, bro. You cold as hell.

- It's not like that. - You gotta tell your friend, man.

- I gotta dip, y'all. - We was just playing with you.

Nah, nah, nah, it's all good. I know that. Um…

I just gotta meet my pops anyway.

All right, man. Cool.

Peace, bro.

- Hey. Good lookin' out. - Mm-hmm.

Hey, yo, come smoke up with us sometime.

Come through, chill, we'll smoke you up good.

- Yes, sir. - Good lookin' out.

- Y'all be easy. - All right, bro.

That's gonna be you up there one day.

The way they listen to each other,

just building and building and creating something…

organic and alive.

Oh! It's amazing!

You're gonna inspire people like that.

You got that gift.

There are other ways to inspire people.

Is that right?

Yeah.

I'm doing this thing at school.

What, a concert or something?

No.

A sit-in.

You know, to protest what happened to Owen.

We got a line of speakers, we're gonna get the admin to listen,

and I think we can get Owen back early.

When do you plan on doing this?

Next week.

Thursday.

That's the day before All-State.

Jay…

you'll create more change in the world if you make it to Julliard

than if you paint a target on your back.

But it's not just me. We got a group dedicated to helping out Owen.

But I'm talking about you.

All right?

You didn't make it this far with your music

-to thro-- -I didn't make it.

What?

It was Owen's seat.

I was an alternate.

So what, Jay?

Hey, whatever happened to Owen disgusts me,

but…

it's life.

It's only life if we keep lettin' it happen.

This sit-in actually matters.

-So does All-State. -Does it?

-It's your future, Jay. -What about Owen's future?

Throwing away this opportunity doesn't put Owen back in that seat.

Jay…

this shot is yours.

What matters now is what you do with it.

Now listen, you wanna honor your friend?

You give it everything in you.

Huh?

Most parents would kill for their kid to be involved in school stuff.

Most parents don't have a prodigy.

Oh. Hey, Mr. Prodigy, you got sauce on your face. Clean that up.

No, up.

I'm pointing right at it.

- What you talkin' 'bout? - It's on this side now.

OK, funny man. I see you.

What are you doing?

Helping.

What's going on?

I thought we told him to stay home.

I don't know. He just showed up.

Go home.

Look at this place. You're backed up. You need help.

We're taking care of this.

Yeah, by pretending everything's OK when it's not?

I don't wanna be by myself.

And I don't want people seeing you like this.

People will talk.

Let them talk.

Talk about me? Yes.

But about you? No.

What will I say?

That you fight boys at parties?

-That you do other things? -We'll talk about this later.

Talk about it? You can't even say the words.

Say it.

I'm staying.

If you want to help,

then stop all of this.

You don't think I tried? It's not something I can stop. It's me.

No, it's not.

I am your father.

I know who you are. Better than you.

I'm gay.

And that's not going away.

We can talk about this…

actually talk…

or I can do the dishes.

But I'm not going.

Babe, use the hand soap.

I can't fucking believe this happened at Dad's.

-Yeah. -It's not funny.

Yeah, I know, nothing's funny anymore.

Just let me do it. Stop it. Stop.

Just do the toilet paper for now.

Like this?

Are you serious?

No.

You're welcome?

Thank you.

-Feel like I'm wearing a diaper. -You can have one of my tampons.

I don't want one of your extra-super-large tampons.

- Excuse me? - Girls?

Nina, just text me a picture of what you need, OK? It's not a big deal.

-OK? -I'll send it, Dad. Thank you.

- Bye. - Bye.

Jesus Christ.

It's gonna take over a year for your hair to grow back.

Oh yeah?

Does it feel good to do?

That uniform is pretty unattractive.

-Thank you. I'm aware. -The polo shirt? What a look.

This piece of shit at school was like,

"Probably like it rough, like your sister."

I'm so sorry, Nina. That's not OK.

-They can't-- -I feel like you're letting them win.

-What else do you want me to do? -Say, "Fuck you.

-You don't get to push me out of my life." -They won, Nina!

I need to show you.

Why are you screenshotting this shit?

Look at them.

It's like…

you can tell they know what they did.

I'm gonna text Dad what to get you.

I wish you'd stop letting them destroy you.

What?

Go away. Go away.

Please, just go away.

♪ We spark together Like we're made of flint ♪

♪ I thought you could take a hint♪

♪ I tell lies, I feel stuck inside… ♪

Mom?

Dad?

Mom!

Mom, it's me.

No!

Who's Daddy's little girl?

No, you're hurting me!

Mommy loves you so much,

I could fucking eat you!

Mom?

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there.

What's so funny?

Nothing.

So why are you laughing?

-I mean, I didn't mean it. -Am I a joke to you?

Honey, where is this coming from?

Everywhere?

It's like everyone's laughing at me.

No one's laughing at you, Leila.

That's not my real name.

Have you ever met a real Chinese girl named Leila?

You couldn't just let me keep my real name?

And everyone's like,

"Be the real you." So, can you tell me who that is?

You are our daughter, and your dad and I love you very much.

No, you love who you created, not--

No, we were very happy to find you.

Honey, let's just get home. OK?

You just… flew over and took me.

You brought me to this foreign country,

never thinking of how that would affect me.

And I'm basically living someone else's life,

the kid you couldn't have.

I don't know how I'm supposed to…

OK, I don't know myself.

Do you get that?

And you're laughing at that woman like it's nothing.

I never used one of these.

OK. First, I need one cup of water.

I have four children.

I'm used to distractions

but I still have not learned to tune it all out.

I can't get the wrapper…

I'll do it.

Do what, baby?

The marriage thing.

But I'm not doing it just for the family.

If I do this, some of the money goes towards college.

That's my condition.