Original subtitles

Once upon a time

there were three little girls who went to the police academy.

One in Los Angeles.

One in San Francisco.

The other in Boston.

And they were each assigned...

very hazardous duties.

But I took them away from all that

and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.

I teach this course on Chaucer for general consumption

as a courtesy to the university.

I've attempted to make it easier for you

by allowing you to read the modernized version,

which is my own, by the way.

I could require you to read Chaucer in the original.

But the royalties wouldn't be as good.

Mr. Fitzpatrick...

I am painfully aware

of the investment that this university has in you.

As I'm sure you must be aware

of the enormous pressure that we on the faculty receive

to give you a rubber-stamp grade.

But if you wish to pass this course,

you will have to demonstrate

that there is something more than just...

a scrimmage between those ears of yours.

And if first impressions hold true,

I should think that would prove a formidable task.

Now, for the next session.

I would like you all to read

and comprehend my introduction to The Canterbury Tales.

And beware, we may have one of my devious quizzes on Monday.

Have a nice weekend.

Are you okay? Need some money?

See you then. Bye. Bye.

Oh.

Hi.

Come on. Let's get packed. We're leaving tonight.

Oh, I'm sorry, I can't go.

But it's all planned. But it's rush week.

I'm chairman of the rush committee, remember?

Come on, Jen. Kappa Omega Psi is not gonna fold

if you take a few days off to go to the beach.

But I have an obligation.

After all, aren't you always trying to get me

to be more socially responsible?

Not to a sorority, no.

I know you don't think sororities are important,

but I do.

I thought I was important to you.

Can't we go after rush week?

No. We only have the beach house for this weekend.

Get your stuff. I'll pick you up in an hour.

I've got to get Professor Fairgate's

introduction to Canterbury Tales done by Monday.

Jen, get your stuff... Richard, no! Please.

Don't insist. There's no way.

I'm sorry.

Maybe Professor Errol Flynn

can give you some private coaching, huh?

Yeah. Well, maybe he can.

Jennifer Thomas is the second coed

to disappear under mysterious circumstances

in the last two weeks.

So far, the authorities have been completely frustrated.

Every lead has been a dead end.

No ransom note, no evidence of foul play.

Two beautiful sorority girls

have simply vanished into thin air.

And the kicker is the girls are Kappa Omega Psi,

my sorority.

Oh, that's right.

You were a big sorority honcho, weren't you, Tiff?

Yeah. Anyway, that's how we come into it.

Yes. We've been hired by the alumni committee

to find those girls.

No contact from the kidnappers?

We can't assume that these are ordinary kidnappings.

What? Do you think it might be a string of murders?

Possibly. But there's another form of kidnapping.

Much more frightening.

Kidnapping for prostitution.

White slavery.

White slavery?

Come on, Charlie.

I didn't think that sort of thing was still around.

At least not in this country.

Don't be so sure, Angels.

There are hundreds of cases every year.

And I'm afraid our case fits into the general pattern.

I don't know, Charlie. That's a little hard to buy.

It's a possibility, Kris.

I want you to check into it when you get to the university.

Back to school, Charlie?

You are, Kris, to audit a few classes.

And Tiffany is going to stay at the sorority house

as a big sister.

Big sister?

Well, she's hardly cut out

to be a housemother.

This is true.

What about the rest of us?

You and Kelly will work the outside.

This is a really baffling case, Angels.

Well, good luck. You'll need every bit of it.

School?

Tiffany, welcome home.

Ms. Kay.

Still the most glamorous housemother

in the sorority biz.

And you still have a way with words don't you?

We try. I missed you. I thought about you a lot.

Well, thank you. I'm still here as housemother.

I thought you'd get married.

Oh, no. I'm enjoying it here.

I understand you're going to be with us for a while.

Well, I have literary aspirations, you know.

So I thought I'll do a story on Kappa house,

but I had to come back for a couple days

to do some research.

It's gonna be good to have you with us.

May I help you unpack?

Oh, I'd love it. Thank you.

I hear you've had a little excitement

around here recently.

Yes, if you mean the two girls who disappeared.

Yeah, are there any new developments?

No. We're just praying

that there'll be a logical explanation.

Who were the girls?

Beth Harris was the first one,

a very shy girl who kept to herself.

You know adage "Still water runs deep"?

Well, no one was very surprised

when she first missed her classes.

We figured perhaps she'd run off on her own.

And the other girl?

Jenny Thomas, an entirely different story.

Everyone was crazy about her.

She was our rush chairman.

Everyone is so upset.

And she is not the kind of girl

that would run away from anything.

Now, of course, I think we are going to have to face

the possibility that we're dealing with a tragedy.

How are you?

Hello. Hi.

Have some fun.

What was that all about?

Your presidency was a landmark

in making Kappa house the number one house on campus.

That's not true.

Ah, the girls consider you a kind of legend around here.

You're kidding.

And we try to encourage the tradition.

You were some kind of president.

And you're some kind of lady.

You wanna know the truth?

I barely got in to this sorority.

Oh, no. They almost blackballed you?

I don't believe it.

It's true.

I wouldn't have blamed 'em.

You can never tell what a pledge is gonna turn out.

That is so true. Mm. Isn't it?

How is this year's pledge class?

Small, but good.

We only have five openings. Mm.

Hi, I'm Cathy Evans.

Hello, Tiffany Welles. I know.

Cathy took over as rush chairman

when Jenny disappeared.

Ms. Kay was telling me about that.

Oh, it's awful.

We thought that Jenny had skipped town with her boyfriend.

Then he showed up a couple days ago, looking for her.

She'd stood him up on a weekend at the beach.

What's his name? Richard Milligan.

He's so '60s.

I don't know what she sees in him.

Oh, more candidates.

I'd better get back to work.

Nice to have met you. Nice to meet you.

Do you know of anything

that might link Beth and Jenny together?

Uh, they were both English majors.

Heh. Oh, they both had a crush on our famous Dr. Fairgate.

Oh, a crush, eh?

Yeah. How bad?

Total and all-consuming.

Oh, one of those.

Dr. James Fairgate is very attractive.

He's a celebrity on this campus.

Most of his girls have a crush on him.

If you saw him in action, you'd know what I mean.

What's happening?

Okay, would everybody keep quiet.

Stay right were you are. There's nothing to be afraid of.

We must have blown a breaker.

Could be.

Nice going, Steve.

That will make 'em respect the Pi Nus a little bit more.

They have it coming for a long time.

Pi Nus. I know it has to be them.

You have got to be kidding.

You mean that old feud is still going on?

Now their stupid boyfriends are involved.

But yeah, the same old feud.

The beauties, meaning us,

versus the beast, meaning them.

What do you say we take 'em down a peg?

Yeah!

Let's do it. Come on.

Hey, Nikki, uh,

wasn't that your brother Steve driving that car?

No, it couldn't have been.

Don't say that.

Are you sure it was him?

He's in one of my classes. I know it was him.

Well, how can you be sure? It was dark.

Not that dark.

Down, set, hut. Hut two.

Yeah!

Hey, I'll be back.

Hey, Nikki. What's up?

Kappa house turned me down

because of that stunt you pulled last night.

Why did you do that?

Why do you hate 'em so much?

They're a bunch of stuck-up...

They're not! They're terrific

and now you've screwed it up for me.

Nikki, would you forget them.

Now, you can pledge Pi Nu.

I told you I can get you in there.

I'll tell you what, big brother: You forget it,

I don't wanna be a Pi Nu.

I wouldn't fit in.

I really wanted to be a Kappa.

So I hope you're happy, 'cause I'm not gonna be.

Nikki.

They're fine.

The drugs are working perfectly.

Our little girls are completely out of it.

The boss said the girls are gonna have company.

Another one?

The sheik just upped the order.

Three, huh? Mm-hm.

Think they must be paying a fortune.

At least a million.

But don't worry, he can afford it.

Here's to beautiful women,

especially the young ones.

Can I help you?

Are you the librarian?

One of them.

I haven't seen you in here before.

No. Well, you see, uh,

we had another library when I was here.

Zachary Preston, class of '51?

Do you need a pass to use the stacks, Mr. Preston?

Zach. Please, call me Zach.

I'm Willamena Campbell,

but you can call me Willie.

Willie? I like that.

Well, Willie, uh,

I suppose I shouldn't be telling you my life story,

but, uh, I quit the insurance business

to become a writer.

I'm working on a book right now.

A western.

So I'm here to, uh,

get background on Colorado in the 1870s.

Oh, the section on Colorado is straight back and to your right.

The 9400s.

Well, thank you very much.

You were very helpful.

It's my job.

Will we be seeing you again?

I mean, uh, for further research.

Oh, yes. You can bet on it.

Psst.

I got a call from Charlie.

About professor Fairgate?

Yeah.

Seems that while the professor was teaching at Berkeley

a couple of years ago,

two beautiful coeds mysteriously disappeared.

Now, Kris is going to audit his class,

but Charlie wants you to have a talk with him too.

Any news of the background of the two missing girls?

No, not yet.

Kelly is digging into that.

So I guess it's up to you to take a shot at the boyfriend

of the last girl who disappeared.

This isn't the Colorado section, Zach.

Zach?

"Phanomenologie des Geistes."

A very interesting flavor for a western,

wouldn't you say?

A Teutonic western?

Mm-hm.

Oh, how unique.

Mmm.

Wunderbar.

You Richard Milligan?

Yeah, you're Tiffany Welles?

Nice to meet you.

I got your message. Good.

Let's walk, shall we?

What's going on in the sorority house? Where's Jenny?

I was hoping you could tell me.

All I can tell you is that I really miss her,

and I never thought I'd say that about anybody.

I'm not real proud of it,

but somehow I became kind of a professional student.

Back in the '60s and early 70s,

I was into all the causes, the protests, everything.

Then the times changed and for a long time I couldn't.

And then Jenny came along.

Yeah, then Jenny came along.

You were the last person

to see her Friday night, weren't you?

Yeah.

Why didn't you go with her?

She had sorority business.

Wait a minute.

Okay, I'll level with you.

We had a fight.

But I met some friends at the library

right after I left Jenny.

And I spent the weekend at the beach with them.

Sounds like a pretty tight alibi.

Hey. I wouldn't hurt her.

Okay.

She was in one of Professor Fairgate's classes,

wasn't she? Oh, yeah.

Doesn't sound to me like you're one of his greatest fans.

Oh, that might be the understatement of the year.

You know, there's nothing unusual about a college girl

getting a crush on a professor.

It happens a lot. It happened to me.

Yeah. Did your professor returned your affection?

Of course not.

Well, unfortunately,

Professor Fairgate isn't so chivalrous.

Oh.

I checked out both Jenny and Beth, very carefully.

Neither family is particularly wealthy.

So that rules out kidnapping.

Looks that way.

I just talk to Richard Milligan.

You know, I think he's in the clear.

He seems to be very much in love with Jenny.

I can't see him hurting her.

So, what do we have?

Steve Fitzpatrick, the football player?

And Professor Fairgate.

Richard tells me that the good professor

has been known to offer more than education

to some of his students.

Interesting.

Isn't it?

Kris still planning to audit one of his classes?

Well, I think from what you've just told me,

she's gonna do a little more than just audit his class,

if you know what I mean.

I think I know exactly what you mean.

While The Canterbury Tales are hardly shocking today,

you must remember we're talking about England,

prior to the Renaissance.

They still didn't have

the X-rated quality of, uh, Boccaccio's bawdy Decameron.

So we can safely surmise that the Italian response

to even the more rowdy aspects of Chaucer

was relatively tame.

That's it.

We will continue this tomorrow, God and Chaucer willing. See ya.

Do you? Well, I...

No. We see an example of that in Fellini's films, for example.

If you know... You know what I mean.

Uh, excuse me. Yes.

Professor Fairgate? Mm-hm.

Hi, I'm Kris Munroe.

I've heard a lot about your class,

I was hoping I could audit it.

I don't allow audits in my class.

Oh.

But I would certainly make an exception in your case.

Oh, good. I'll see you in class, then.

One thing. I do have a rule.

If you're late, you're out.

I'll be there.

All right.

Professor Fairgate?

Yes.

May I speak with you for a moment.

Of course, if you don't mind walking to my next class.

Sure.

Listen, if you like to get into my class,

there's usually a waiting list, but, uh,

I could make an exception in your case.

Oh, I'm flattered. Thank you.

Actually, I'm doing a story on Kappa house,

and I wonder there might be an angle

in these two girls that disappeared.

Are you a reporter?

No, not anymore. Just a freelance

former journalism major looking for a break.

I see. Have you sold anything yet?

Couple stories to women's magazines.

I'd like to do some harder-hitting stuff.

Well, in that case, I have a very fine Montrachet.

It's excellent vintage.

You don't believe in wasting any time, do you?

Heh-heh. No, I have very high standards.

And when I find someone that meets them,

I believe in action.

Well, that leads me to counter with a reaction.

Which is? To leave things

on a business level.

At least for now.

Then there's a possibility.

There's always a possibility.

What can I do to help you?

Well, your class is the only link I can find

between Beth Thomas and Jenny Harris.

And I was wondering if you could tell me

anything that could help locate them.

They were both bright, good-looking girls.

Other than that, I can't recall anything out of the ordinary.

You didn't have any contact with them outside of class?

Considering my reputation, that's a pretty fair question.

In answer to the question, no.

Uh-huh. What about 1977?

Weren't you lecturing at Berkeley?

Yes, I was. Why?

Do you remember anything about the two girls

that disappeared up there?

Not really, but I think I had left there

before these incidents.

I was wondering if there could be a tie-in

with the disappearances down here.

Oh, I don't know.

Look, I'm sure girls disappear,

run away, leave or whatever,

from campuses all over the country every year.

Look, I wish I could help you, but I've got to go inside.

Well, that's all I wanted to ask you anyway. Thank you.

Don't forget my offer.

The Montrachet?

And everything that goes with it.

Mm-hm.

Yeah, all right. I'll tell him about it right now.

Yeah.

Now, how are they?

They're okay.

Some lady reporter has been nosing around.

The professor wants to talk to you about it.

I'll get on it right away. You'll be okay?

Oh, I think I can handle these two.

I swear to be loyal to the sisters

of Kappa Omega Psi.

I swear to be loyal to the sisters of Kappa Omega Psi.

To uphold its ideals.

To uphold its ideals.

And I promise I will never reveal my secret

of the sorority.

And I promise that I will never reveal my secret

of the sorority.

Congratulations, and welcome to Kappa house!

Now there's some business to attend to. Ha-ha.

First, I'm pleased to announce

that our former president, Tiffany Welles,

has agreed to supervise the pledge class.

Thank you. In the past,

our sorority was always known for, well, beautiful girls,

but Tiffany got us going in a more balanced direction.

Since her time in office,

we've raised money for the General Charity Fund,

we've participated in everything from Campus Carnival

to Homecoming.

And I might add that we're still not ugs,

because four of the last five Homecoming queens

were Kappa Omega Psis.

Which bring me to our first project.

And I'd like Tiffany to tell you about it.

Thank you.

Now, you all know that we have our rivals

and our enemies, here on sorority row.

Especially Pi Nu. Boo!

Now, this feud has been going on for a long time,

and I think it's time to stop it.

They've lorded it over us long enough

with their sports victories and their trophies.

We have challenged them to a volleyball game.

All right! All right!

Now, we want volunteers.

We're going to beat the beast.

Let's hear it. Beat the beast!

Beat the beast! Beat the beast! Beat the beast!

They're weak in the back court. Get it in the back court.

Right. Yes.

Right there!

Ah, come on.

Give me a P!

P!

Give me a I!

I!

Give me a N! CROWD: N!

Give a U!

U!

Pi Nu! Pi Nu! Go team!

Cathy!

Look, it's going great.

Set up that spike we talked about in the back court.

Okay. Great.

Okay, 14-14.

Come on, over!

Mine.

All right.

All right!

We won, we won. We really did it.

Aren't you a little bit old to be playing sorority girl?

You certainly have a winning personality, don't you?

Well, I happen to like older women.

Do you really? Yes, I do.

Ah.

I like men, not boys.

I know. That's great.

Oh, hi. Hi.

I really didn't think we could do it. You know?

Old feud will never be the same. That's right.

Are you ready?

Why don't you guys go back to the house?

Okay, Tiffany.

Sure it was a great game, huh? See you later.

Don't be long, Tiff.

Hey!

Somebody, the door is locked.

Hello?

Let her go.

But the professor said to grab her.

We will when the time is right.

Well, you're posing a threat to someone.

Means we're on the right track.

By the way, Richard Milligan's story did check out.

I thought it would.

He did meet with friends after his fight with Jenny.

So I guess our best prospect right now

is Professor Fairgate.

In that he was at Berkeley when those girls disappeared,

and he did get involved with some of his students.

I'm afraid we're gonna have to add Steve Fitzpatrick

to the equation.

Superjock?

That's right.

He's got an ax to grind against Kappa house

who rejected his sister.

Enough to, uh, kidnap two girls?

I don't know. But I don't think at this point we can afford

to ignore him, do you?

Kelly hasn't been able to uncover anymore, uh,

background on those two girls either.

I'll ask her to help me with the jock.

I'm sure he'll like that.

What about our oversexed professor of Chaucer?

Well, I'll have Kris take a little harder run at him.

I'm sure he won't mind that.

I thought I saw you come in, Zach.

You were right, Willie.

But I didn't see you.

Oh, I was busy in the, uh,

reference section.

Is the young lady helping you research your book?

Oh, uh, no.

Just an old client.

You know life insurance, you have to try to keep

those old policies enforced.

I'll bet.

Willie, I was thinking...

How about you and I, uh, one day after work, uh,

going out for a drink?

Ah, Carrington's Pub is a swinging place.

Right on.

Well, kissy-kissy.

I never heard anybody call Ms. Campbell "Willie"

in my life.

Getting serious?

So is this case.

Let's go. I'm right behind you.

That was pretty quick for a tight end, huh?

I've seen quicker.

Very impressive time, Steve.

That one felt pretty quick to me.

Look, Steve,

I can tell you unofficially

that my team was interested in you.

You could be a high draft choice.

And what can you tell me? Officially, of course.

We're worried about your trouble-making reputation.

Well, what the heck does that mean?

Nobody is questioning your ability to play football.

It's your attitude that's in question.

My attitude?

We know you were called into the dean's office

and questioned over some stupid prank

at one of the sorority houses.

That was nothing.

Wrong, Steve.

It's an indication that you could be trouble.

The word is, Steve, that your temper

could get in the way of your ability.

And nobody is going to invest in a fruitcake.

Hey, now, wait a minute!

Now, listen to me, I am not fruitcake!

I just did that stunt to get even with those girls

for what they did to my kid sister.

The way we heard it,

you pulled that stunt before they rejected her.

Good luck, Steve.

What a waste of talent.

Professor Fairgate. Yes?

Hi. Oh, Kris, isn't it?

My, uh, audit exception.

Or should I say my exceptional audit.

What can I do for you?

I was having a little trouble with your assignment.

I was hoping we could get together over a drink

and discuss it. Oh, I'm sorry, Kris.

Unfortunately, I'm leaving for Oxford for a lecture series,

but I'll be back next week.

Can it wait? Oh.

Not time for one little drink?

Your place in an hour?

My place in an hour.

Great.

Oh, what happened?

Couldn't the two of you handle that girl?

Tiffany Welles happens to be smart and quite resourceful.

I know that, but I still need her.

Oh, you always get everyone you want, don't you, James?

Darling, in your case, I got lucky.

Oh, you don't really want me.

How can you say that?

Would you stop a minute so I can talk to you?

Look, I'm sorry.

I just have got a lot of things on my mind.

You're going away again, aren't you?

Well, I have to. You know that.

And you know why.

When are you coming back?

As soon as we make the delivery.

And then?

Uh, that's gonna be the end of all this business.

And then you and I...

we're gonna be together again, just as we planned.

You're lying. You won't be back and you know it.

Barbara, listen. Oh, don't worry.

I'll stay by you.

I'm in so deep now,

there's nothing else I can do.

Barbara.

I can't go on

letting you think I'm a complete fool.

Beaujolais '77. I'm, uh... I'm afraid it will have to do.

Sounds fine.

You wrote this?

Yes, in my lean and hungry days.

Now I'm paid a great deal to simply spread

my cumulative wisdom all over the place.

Mmm.

Like to Oxford.

Yes. Oxford tomorrow and, uh, Geneva on Thursday.

But here's to now.

Well I'm impressed. Ooh!

This is very good.

Thank you.

Excuse me a minute.

Uh, you, uh, ordered a car?

Oh, yes.

Yes, my limousine. I...

I hate to drive, so I order a car to take me to the airport.

It's the only way to go.

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

What are you doing here so early?

Tiffany Welles isn't who she said she was.

At least she didn't write anything

for any women's magazines that we could find.

Hm.

That's interesting. Hm.

But it doesn't matter.

The third diamond for the sheik

will be ours momentarily.

Oh, I'm sorry, I... I didn't mean to startle you

Then don't sneak up on people.

Are you gonna flip me again?

Not if you take your hands off me, I'm not.

Oh, okay.

Um, Tiffany, I came by to apologize for the other day.

And I thought we might even be friends.

You did, did you? Yeah.

See, the pro scouts are thinking twice

about signing me, my kid sister is still angry at me...

I decided I'll clean my act up a little bit.

Plus, you know, you're really different

from any girl I've ever met.

Heh. I just bet I am.

You are.

So anyways, I hope there's no hard feelings.

You wanna be friends?

It's okay. Friends.

Okay.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Bye. Bye-bye.

Where's Tiffany?

I don't know. She didn't show up.

I don't like the sound of that.

Neither do I.

I think we better get over to that sorority house.

Yeah.

I saw her in the garden an hour ago.

Everyone was so involved,

we didn't even know she was missing.

What has happened to her?

I hope nothing.

Hello?

No.

Just a minute.

It's for Tiffany. It's a girl.

All right, I'll take that.

Hello.

Kris. Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

He was a perfect gentleman.

He did tip his hand though.

Kris, I'm afraid they've got Tiffany.

Oh, there can't be much time. How do you know?

Fairgate's going to Oxford tonight, then Geneva.

The same pattern he followed after those two girls

were taken off the campus at Berkeley.

Well, if our professor is white slaving he could

be using the trip to deposit that money on a Swiss account.

Bosley, they're leaving.

Stay with them, we'll be right behind you.

Okay.

Will you relax?

The boat won't be in view for at least another hour.

Where's Fairgate?

Oh, he'll be here. Don't worry.

Oh, my God.

I think we're being followed.

No, it's all right.

Reno, I think I'll go in and check the girls.

Ms. Kay?

I can't believe you're involved in this.

Well, Tiffany, you're a very bright girl.

I think you can figure it out.

Fairgate?

Yes.

He's a very captivating man.

But he's hardly worth this.

That's what I kept telling myself.

I didn't listen.

I'm sorry, Tiffany.

That you're involved in this.

Are you?

Yes, I am.

I wish... I wish there was something I could do.

As I said before,

Professor Fairgate is a very captivating man.

Well, I guess it all boils down

to what you think of yourself, doesn't it?

I guess it does.

What the...?

Okay, back down on the floor.

Get down on the floor.

Come on, you don't need the gun, baby.

Wanna take a chance?

Get over in the corner with the rest of them.

Go on.

Okay, tiger. Drop the gun.

Nice and easy. And slowly.

Now the phone.

Hold it!

Hold it, right there!

Drop it!

Ah, you've certainly been busy.

Yes, I think the sheik would've had

a little more that he bargained for.

Well, I never was one for long ocean voyages.

Tiff, we're all real sorry about Ms. Kay.

Yeah, me too.

I'm all right.

You sure?

No.

But I will be.

Well, Beth is on her way to join her folks,

so she's all right.

We really owe you all a lot.

We almost lost her.

And Jenny.

Which would have been a huge waste of education.

Heh. Well, I'm just glad to be home.

Me too.

I don't know.

I think Tiffany would have looked great

behind a harem veil.

What do you mean by that?

Bosley, where you going?

Oh, uh, I have a date at, uh, Carrington's Pub

with a very amorous librarian.

Later, girls.

Mm-hm.

I don't know about you two,

but I've had just about all the schooling

I can take for a while.

I'll drink to that.

Me too.