Original subtitles

Once upon a time

there were three little girls who went to the police academy.

One in Los Angeles.

One in San Francisco.

The other in Boston.

And they were each assigned

very hazardous duties.

But I took them away from all that

and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.

Sharon, it's gorgeous.

Wait till Scott gets a look of this on you.

Yours will be just as beautiful.

Oh, not quite.

Take good care of this, will you?

Oh, I will.

And you make sure that Scott doesn't see you in that.

Not a chance.

Oh, what a weekend it's gonna be.

We'll do all the things we did

on my 18th birthday, remember?

Oh, no, not everything.

I am not getting sick on champagne.

Oh, remember, I fell down in front of that guy,

the big guy, on the... On the...

On the high school football team.

I'd forgotten that.

And if Randy hadn't caught your arm,

you would have looked great all over the rug.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

How did Randy take it?

He kept congratulating me,

telling me that he wanted me to be happy.

"If that skier of yours is such a great guy," he said...

Well, am I? Hm?

What other kind of guy could I fall in love with in one day?

One glorious day.

By the way, I had lunch with Randy today.

Oh, Scott.

No, now we needed to talk.

There where some things that, uh,

needed to be said between us.

You know, in another situation I think

he and I could become good friends.

Am I lucky or am I lucky?

Maybe a little of both.

Listen, I gotta get back to the store now.

I wanted to say goodbye to you.

No you didn't. You came here to get a look at my dress.

Come on, Kelly, we'll walk him to the car.

Okay.

Why'd you park way out here?

Driveway's full of delivery vans.

Ah. Couldn't get near the house.

You all right?

Yeah.

Kelly?

I'm fine.

Just because I'm not rich

doesn't mean I'm gonna ruin the neighborhood.

You sure you're all right, I'll get started.

I'm fine.

Can I speak to you?

I mean professionally.

Nearly being hit by a car

running up on the curb doesn't sound

like much of an accident to me.

You say this isn't the first time

something like this has happened?

Well, two weeks ago there was a gas leak in Scott's apartment.

What did the gas company say? Broken fitting.

Which could have been the result

of a simple malfunction.

Well, then, last week.

He was in the stock room

of the sporting goods store he runs.

A cable broke on a weight machine he was demonstrating.

Two hundred and fifty pounds just missed his head.

A cable broke on a new machine?

Mm-hm.

Oh, Bert, that's Scott's partner in the store,

thinks that one of the stock boys assembled it incorrectly.

Sharon, is it a good partnership?

Oh, sure.

Bert needs Scott.

People come into the store just because they like the idea

of buying from a former champion skier.

What about competitors who have lost to him in the past?

No.

Even the guy he was in business with up in Aspen,

Dick Guzman,

they went out of business angry, but not that angry.

Sharon there is another possibility.

Maybe someone doesn't want Scott to marry you.

Who?

Oh, no, no. Not Randy.

Well, he did have trouble readjusting

to civilian life after Vietnam.

He was in a sanatorium, you told me that yourself.

Do you know where to find this Randy, Sharon?

At the wedding. He'll be the photographer.

Sharon, you're kidding.

It's all right. He's a very good photographer

and Scott said it was all right between them.

But that was before someone tried to hit Scott with a car.

Looks to me like we're going to a wedding.

I think Tiffany is right.

Bosley, make the arrangements. Okay.

Kris, why don't you start with Burt Marshall?

Let's see if Scott's partner really is his partner.

Everything is gonna be okay.

Don't worry.

I'll try.

You will be there for the bachelor party, right?

Of course.

Stop worrying. I wouldn't miss this for anything.

This is one best man who knows all his responsibilities.

Good morning.

Morning.

Okay, listen, I gotta go pick up my tux at the cleaners.

Mm-hm.

My partner is the only guy I know who'd own his own tuxedo.

That was Scott Miller, wasn't it? The skier.

Must be something being partners with him.

We're a good team.

He's into slaloms, I like waterskiing.

What can I show you?

Well, I was gonna go to Aspen this weekend,

uh, do a little hiking.

And maybe a little soaking in the hot tub?

Mm-hm.

Is this all they're wearing?

This is the most they're wearing.

Uh-oh. I don't know.

Kelly.

Hi.

Mother was wondering where you were.

What happened? Did you get lost?

Oh, no. Come on. Come on.

Wait till you see where we're going to have the ceremony,

it looks like an open air cathedral.

Oh, my gosh. How are you feeling?

Oh, I don't know.

I think that I overreacted yesterday.

You know how things always look brighter in the morning?

Yeah.

I think that if I told Scott that I hired you

he'd have my head.

Oh, all you should think about is the wedding.

You know, just concentrate on walking down the aisle.

Okay?

A little further.

Right.

There it is.

Beautiful.

Contrasting ferns and that, really.

Well, they're better than those plastic things

we had in the place in Vegas when we got married.

Heh-heh. Oh.

Hey, Mom and Dad, look who's here.

Now you see what happens when the bright young MD

gets bowled over by the cutest showgirl

this side of the Casino de Paris, eh?

He didn't marry me for my money,

he married me for my time-step.

Now, that's not true. The only way

that she would show me how those showgirls

held up those big hats was for me to marry her.

Oh, Sharon, I want you to know I've been practicing.

You're really gonna go through with it?

Go through with what?

She gonna sing at the ceremony.

Oh, great.

She's afraid I'll go into one of my

comedy routines in between choruses.

"Good evening, wedding-lovers,

a funny thing happened to me on the way to the wedding."

Gloria, Gloria.

Papa.

Uh-oh. Grandpa's at the bar.

Yes, beverage of this kind were very common

on those old English country estates.

Somewhat pagan, of course.

And so were Easter eggs and maypole dancing.

Daddy.

One martini won't kill me.

Martini's are out these days.

And make sure of that. Spoilsport.

Well, who have we here?

You remember Kelly, grandpa.

Oh, indeed I do, Kelly, my dear,

How you have blossomed.

Ha-ha. Thank you.

Seventy-eight years old and he refuses to lie down.

Oh, well, I think that's admirable.

Well, in that case my dear,

what are you doing later on this evening?

Oh, grandpa, he hasn't changed at all.

Come on, girls.

Reverend Depugh is waiting for us in the house.

Well, I'm gonna wait right here.

Fresh air's good for us old geezers.

Bartender, make sure it's just fresh air.

See you later, now.

Uh, think about this evening, kiddo.

You know, back in the early '20s

there was a drink called "The Fresh Air."

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

Made up of three parts gin,

a little grape juice, and a dash of bitters.

Hm, sounds awful.

Right you are,

skip the grape juice and the bitters.

Well, I'll be... I never thought I'd see him around here again.

Who's that?

Trouble.

In the name of Randy Todd.

Sharon was gonna marry him

till that skier swept her away.

Well, Mr. Todd doesn't look like he's here to make any trouble.

Last time he was here with Sharon

he was talking loud and nasty.

Oh?

Let me tell you something, young fella,

I don't like people who go around

threatening other people's fiancée.

Flight 116 now boarding in Gate 4.

All passengers for flight 419 to Chicago,

we now board at Gate 43.

Claudia.

What are you doing here?

Does that answer your question?

Yes.

It's a good thing I didn't ask Sharon

to pick me up at the airport.

Well, she wanted to, but, uh, who do you think stopped her?

I can guess.

Couldn't wait to see you.

That's better.

That's only the beginning.

How's it going?

Great.

Accident number four is just about to happen.

The car?

Oh, no, that, uh, was number three.

Food poisoning? When?

As soon as I get back to my apartment.

Oh, wait for me to get back to the house.

I don't want to miss this.

Let's go.

Oh, Sharon, you won't need a suit.

Right. I guess you don't need tailored clothes on Maui.

Uh-uh.

How about this print?

I like it. Garish.

But that goes for everything south of the 20th parallel.

Couldn't you honeymoon in a place where

everyone doesn't look so disgustingly healthy?

Good idea. We'll go to Cleveland.

When did you get in?

I just came from the airport.

You look radiant.

What a beautiful bride you're going to make.

This is my cousin Claudia Harver.

She introduced me to Scott.

This is Kelly Garrett, my best friend from high school.

Hi, nice to know you. Hello.

Scott's on the phone, dear.

He sounds very strange.

Excuse me.

Scott.

Hello, my love. I'm gonna be a little late.

Something I ate didn't agree with me.

Scott?

Scott!

Scott!

What if it wasn't something he ate?

Don't be silly, Sharon. What else could it be?

Daddy, is he all right?

Yes, but, uh, good thing that he was calling you when it hit.

He is going to be all right?

Oh, he's gonna be fine.

It's a good thing Uncle Mark's a doctor.

Can I see him? Sure.

I don't think you wanna see him.

My darling, my poor darling.

Thanks for coming so quick, baby.

Was it food poisoning?

Yes, it was.

That and my stupidity.

I brought a sandwich home from the deli a few days ago,

and I put the potato salad in the fridge.

Then I came in today and I was hungry.

It was there more than a few days,

mayonnaise must have turned bad.

Well, I've had a lot on my mind lately.

See what you do to men, Sharon?

I'm sorry if I upset you.

That's all right, just as long as you're okay.

Well, that settles it.

The man needs a woman looking after him.

Come on, you're going to our house. Get your things.

And you'll stay till after the wedding.

That's probably the culprit right there.

Just making sure it gets thrown away.

Good.

Hey, I didn't know Tiffany could play the violin.

Well, I don't think Heifitz has anything to worry about.

You never know when one of these little sidelines

might come in handy.

Lab said they'll have that potato salad analyzed

as soon as they can.

Great. By the way, that was good thinking.

Hey, Kelly. It's your turn.

Try to look pretty, dear. Do your best.

Okay.

Mrs. Kellerman wants individual portraits

of all the wedding party.

Well, my dear, we do seem to gravitate towards each other,

don't we? Yes.

And always when I have to have a picture taken or something.

I'll see you later, okay?

Here you'd think a man of my experience would have

a little better sense of timing, wouldn't you.

Here's to unrequited love, bartender,

and to not going gently into that good night.

And here's to one margarita.

One.

And to you, my friend.

Ah.

Truly the juice from a contented cactus.

I'm gonna want you to look right up here, now.

Mm-hm. Little bit more.

You comfortable?

It's fine. Good.

Open your lips just a little bit.

Beautiful.

You and Sharon always did violate

Maznick's rule about girlfriends.

What's that?

Oh, he's a guy I knew in Vietnam.

It states that beautiful girls

never have beautiful girlfriends.

That's Maznick's rule.

Now, that's very important when arranging double dates.

Beautiful.

Sharon told me you had a hard time

when you came back from Vietnam.

That's over now.

You know, to be very honest,

I'm surprised to see you here.

I guess everybody thinks I'm crazy.

Oh, of course not.

I mean, you must admit, it's kind of unusual

for a guy to be at his ex-fiancée's wedding.

We go on, no matter what.

Besides, if Sharon and I aren't meant to be together,

well, how do you fight that?

You're very understanding.

What am I supposed to do, shoot that guy?

All right, look, I'm gonna do one more here.

Up a little more.

Good.

There are other photographers.

Yeah, that's what I said. Next thing I know,

Scott comes up to me, says he wants to be my friend,

we ought to have lunch together,

I'm the only photographer Sharon really wants.

So that's why you said yes.

That and the fact I need the bread.

And the recommendation.

Now, let's do one more for protection, huh?

Right here.

Give it to me, now.

Go on.

Good.

So looks like we all got exactly what we wanted.

Sounds like Scott's some kind of politician.

Yeah, he thinks of everything.

Including lunch.

Yep, he's a terrific cook.

You ate at his place?

Yep.

When?

Yesterday.

On top of everything else, the fellow's a gourmet chef,

regular cordon bleu.

You didn't know that?

No, I didn't.

Well, the question is,

what is a cordon bleu chef doing eating spoiled potato salad?

Especially after he's just prepared a meal

earlier in the day.

Well, he said he had a lot on his mind.

I can believe that.

This does make four near misses.

He's just lucky whoever's trying to kill him

isn't doing a very good job of it.

Yeah. Real lucky.

Kris, I don't like the way you're saying that.

Sorry, just thinking like a detective.

Listen, I'm off to Aspen.

I'll let you know if Scott's ex-partner

likes him as much as his new one does.

And I'll call you if anything comes up, okay?

Okay. Bye.

All right, people. Let's pretend

it's the real thing, now.

In time to the music, please.

Lovely. Very lovely.

Uh, the best man and the...

The maid of honor now, please.

In cadence, in cadence.

Grandpa, it's your turn.

Uh, to be on the other side.

Grandpa, you are in the lily pond.

To the right please.

To the right, get out of the lily pond.

Thank you.

And now the father of the bride escorting our vision in white,

our raison d'être.

I said, Mr. Kellerman and Sharon, please.

Stop the music.

Sharon must be somewhere with Scott.

They were upstairs a few minutes ago.

You mean you don't know where they went?

They're in love, they probably wanna be alone.

After the ceremony they can be alone.

They can be up to their ears alone for all I care.

Come on, everybody,

let's go find them.

Oh, I'm so sorry, reverend.

I know you understand about young people, I apologize.

Kelly?

Yes?

I know where they went.

Where?

Over there, in the woods.

Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you very much.

This way?

If it was you that was lost,

I'd know where to find you. In the bar.

If it was me that was lost, I'd be in the bar.

Get out of the lily pond.

That preacher's gonna kill us.

Hm. In that case, he won't get paid.

Don't worry so much.

Are you two all right?

Did you see who did it?

No.

But he came from over there.

Oh, my God! Sharon!

Darling, are you hurt?

Are you hurt?

You all right, sweetheart?

Tiff, did you pass anyone? He ran through there.

No. Is she hurt? Is Sharon all right?

Yes, just scared.

Did you see anyone running the other way?

No, no one.

Darling.

Mark, who did this?

Who did this, I...

Will you go upstairs and get...? No, I'm not going.

Everybody, just wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Did anybody see anything?

No, we didn't see anything.

Wait, please.

There's something I must say.

I'm endangering you.

Everybody.

We must... call off the wedding.

What? Call off the wedding?

Listen, please.

Now, what happened out there...

It wasn't an accident.

I think somebody's trying to kill me.

This is not the first time this has happened.

I-I think I'm gonna call for police protection.

I don't think that's necessary.

Well, I do.

He only wants me.

Whoever it is, I'll handle it.

Scott, do you have any idea who might be doing this?

Possibly an old enemy.

But I can't believe he'd go this far.

What if he misses you and kills Sharon?

No way. I'm for calling the police.

Excuse me, I think I have something to say about this.

If anything happened to you, I'd never forgive him.

Claudia, you're the best cousin a girl ever had,

but I'm supposed to take a vow tomorrow.

In sickness or in health,

good times or bad, right?

Now, if all of this had happened after the ceremony,

there'd be no question, and as far as I'm concerned,

there's no question right now.

Delaying the ceremony is not gonna change a thing.

But I'm still for calling the police.

I-I think Claudia's right.

Excuse me, but wouldn't that be beautiful?

Sharon and I married under police guard?

Hey, the something blue

could be, uh, their uniforms.

What else can we do?

This guy seems to strike from the back.

Now, if we all stick together between now

and the time Sharon and I go off on our honeymoon,

might work.

Right, if we stay in a crowd,

he wouldn't dare try anything.

Sorry, I don't like it.

Well, it is the only way I will let the plans go forward.

We're right in the middle of my wedding rehearsal, right?

Okay?

Let's get on with it.

All right.

Everybody out.

You think it'd be worthwhile to search the woods?

We'd never find that slug before the ceremony.

Okay, what do we got?

Nothing.

Except for the lab analysis of the potato salad.

And?

And the mayonnaise had gone bad.

He's lucky he didn't get any sicker.

Couple more bites... Bosley, did you notice

what Randy Todd was doing during all that excitement?

Now that you mention it, no, I didn't.

Yeah, I knew him.

Wanna get to the point?

Let me show you some identification.

"Townsend Detective Agency."

So?

So I'm investigating an attempted murder.

I am still not impressed.

Unless, of course, uh, I'm the target.

Ha, no. As a matter of fact,

it's your ex-partner, Scott Miller.

Good.

Listen, I appreciate you being real candid, but...

If I'm suspect number one, how am I doing it?

Personalized guided missiles

launched from on top of the mountain?

No, a hit man would be cheaper.

Not that cheap.

You ought to see my bank account.

Ever since he took up with that lady.

Sharon?

She kept telling him to pull out.

She convinced him that she knew how they both could get rich.

Mr. Guzman, it would be very helpful to me

if you could tell me the name of this lady.

Claudia Harper, but who's Sharon?

She's the lady that Scott's marrying this weekend.

Oh, Scotty getting married?

Claudia's not gonna like that.

Not at all.

Attention, please. Coming through. Make way.

May I please have your kind indulgence?

I think you've all had enough to drink by now

so that you're all a little bit uncouth

and you probably think a big, beautiful naked girl

is gonna come up out of this cake.

Not in this house.

Another tankard, innkeeper.

And you keep me to a two-drink limit.

Don't you, uh, need a steady hand to take those pictures?

If it's a little out of focus, they think it's arty.

Where's my drink?

Why don't you go a little easy?

What do you think this is,

some sort of a Van Nuys singles bar?

Fill it up.

I don't think so.

You know,

I haven't punched anybody out since I was in Saigon.

Wait! Wait, wait, take it easy.

This is a nice party. No need to spoil it, huh?

You okay?

I thought I was over all that.

Sorry.

It's all right, just take it easy.

You're right.

Too much liquor does bad things to me.

Rehab.

Where's Scott?

He was over there.

While Mr. Marshall was playing referee,

Mr. Miller slipped out the door. He headed for the woods.

Kelly.

How's the party going, Bos?

Our bridegroom just slipped away.

Well, not to meet Sharon. She's right here.

Well, uh, grandpa says he saw him head for the woods.

I don't like it, Bos.

All right, look, I'll see what I can find out.

You stay with her.

Right.

Sharon.

You're not planning a little midnight rendezvous

with Scott, are you?

That's not a bad idea.

They aren't doing anything weird down there, are they?

Well, that's why we have Bosley down there bartending.

Oh.

Hello?

Kel?

Kris.

Hi, listen. My plane's gonna leave in a couple seconds,

but I wanted you to know that Richard Guzman is not our man,

but I do have a name for you to check out.

It's "Claudia Harper."

I guess she's an ex-girlfriend of Scott's.

Anyway, this Guzman said she's not a very graceful loser.

Who?

Claudia Harper.

Oh, there's my plane, I gotta go.

Talk to you later. KELLY Kris!

Something wrong?

Have you seen Claudia lately?

Well, she went for a walk about 10 minutes ago.

Stay here. Lock the door, don't move until I get back.

I mean it, Sharon.

Shh, shh.

Scott and Claudia.

Well, I'd say she definitely doesn't want to kill him.

Oh, it's beautiful. Thank you, Laura.

Come in.

Oh, boy, do you look beautiful.

It is pretty. Isn't it?

Yes.

Thank you, Laura.

Oh, Kelly. I am so happy I can hardly breathe.

No doubts? No last minute butterflies?

We've solved Scott's problem.

We're moving to Europe, right after the honeymoon.

Just let him try to find us, whoever he is.

Europe?

Switzerland, maybe Italy.

Scott knows all about Europe.

He's skied everywhere.

Sharon, have you told your parents?

I wanted your reaction first.

Maybe it would be the best thing.

I knew you'd feel that way.

Especially after that scare you threw my way last night.

"Don't move, Sharon, don't leave the room, Sharon."

Be glad it was nothing.

It wasn't nothing.

It got me thinking clearly for the first time in a long time.

It's the perfect solution.

Can you imagine actually living in a Swiss chalet?

Oh. Don't you think you should save some of that energy

for your wedding night?

Haven't you ever been in love?

Isn't she the most beautiful bride you've ever seen?

Just wish I were sure she was going to be the happiest.

What's that mean?

I understand you introduced them.

Uh. Like a fool.

What's that supposed to mean?

Who would have thought they'd hit it off so fast?

How can you fight it?

Must have been very hard on you.

Well, it wasn't one of my better moments.

I went on a chocolate mousse binge,

gained 10 pounds.

That's the most I ever gained over a guy.

You wanna know the truth, Kelly?

Yes, I do.

Sharon's better for Scott than I ever would have been.

So that's what you were talking about in the woods last night?

Oh. Huh.

So that's what all this is about.

You're afraid that Scott is still carrying on with me,

but marrying Sharon for her money.

You didn't hear what we were saying

when you were snooping around out there, did you.

No. Well, you should have.

I'm not proud of myself, but I gave it one last try.

It's over, Kelly.

It really is.

And I want nothing but the best for both of them.

Mom, have you seen my perfume?

Guess it had to happen sometime today, didn't it.

Yeah, I guess it did.

Man.

Thanks.

So I hope my being here isn't making you uncomfortable.

Scott insisted that you wanted me.

No.

I wanted you to come, but I didn't think you would.

You want me to go?

No. Not unless you want to.

I'll just take this one minute at a time, I'll be all right.

Thanks.

I care about you.

I always will.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, not the way I care about you.

Randy, don't.

That's okay, I don't blame you.

I-I can see how you'd go for the guy.

I just want you to know that...

I-I still love you and I do understand.

Sharon.

Randy.

Mr. Kellerman.

Well, it's, uh... time, darling.

We... have to go.

You, come with me. Need help with the drinks, this way.

We're about to begin, gentlemen,

we're about to begin.

All right, everybody in the bridal party,

we are gathering on the lawn for the promenade.

All right, we better compare notes fast.

Did you talk to Cousin Claudia?

I don't know what to make of her.

She didn't deny a thing.

She said she made one last try

and he turned her down.

She seemed to really feel guilty about it.

That's not what it looked like to me.

Could be true.

Maybe she made one last attempt

before she got desperate enough to really kill him.

You think she's crazy enough to try something now,

in front of everybody?

I think we better warn Sharon.

Warn her? Warn her about what?

That we saw Claudia kissing Scott in the woods last night?

That we think she still might be in love with him?

If only we had proof.

What are you looking at, Claudia?

I was just wondering what Sharon's nosy maid of honor

had to talk to about with a bartender, a maid,

and a violinist.

Well, whatever it is, I wouldn't worry about it.

That's the difference between us, Burt.

I worry about everything.

Relax, Claudia.

This is one wedding no one will ever forget.

And we'll be worth a fortune.

Now, if she had the gun,

the one that was used on Scott and Sharon,

That'd be proof, all right.

Well, listen. When everybody gets involved in the ceremony,

I'll sneak upstairs and check out Claudia's room.

Just to be safe, let's check out all the bedrooms.

If we don't find a gun, maybe we'll find something.

I'll try to get away later too, if I can.

Well, whatever you do, do it fast.

I gotta go.

If we stop this wedding, we'd better be right.

Poor Kelly. Really hard on her.

You're more nervous than I am.

Everything's gonna be fine, you'll see.

Okay.

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered together here in the sight of God,

and in the face of this company,

to join together this man and this woman

in holy matrimony,

which is an honorable estate, instituted of God...

Oh. Sorry.

Who's room is this? Claudia's.

Why don't you try the next one. Shall do.

For our hearts shall rejoice in him,

because we have hoped in his holy name.

Let thy merciful kindness, oh, Lord, be upon us,

like as we do put our trust in thee.

♪ Oh, promise me That someday you and I ♪

♪ Will take our love Together to some sky ♪

♪ Where we can be alone And faith renew ♪

♪ And find the hollows Where those flowers bloom ♪

♪ Those first... ♪

♪ Oh, promise me ♪

♪ Oh, promise ♪

♪ Me ♪

Help!

Help! Help!

Kris?

I'm in the closet.

Hand the wedding band to the bridegroom, please.

Scott, take the bride's hand.

Okay. Hurry, hurry.

Okay, listen to me, now, listen to me.

This is Burt Marshall's room.

I found a sniper's rifle in that suitcase.

We gotta go. Wait.

Why would Burt wanna kill Scott?

He doesn't wanna kill Scott. But supposing he's aiming

at Scott and he accidentally hits Sharon.

After the wedding, Scott would be the tragic, grieving widower.

Right, a very rich grieving widower.

And then in a year or so he can marry Claudia.

I just saw her in the hallway.

Did you ever stop a wedding? First time.

Do you, Scott Miller,

take this woman, Sharon Rose Kellerman,

to be your lawfully wedded wife,

to love, honor and cherish,

as long as you both shall live?

I do.

And do you, Sharon Rose Kellerman,

take this man, Scott Miller,

to be your lawfully wedded husband,

to love, honor and cherish,

as long as you both shall live?

I do.

If there be anyone here who knows why these two people

should not be joined in holy matrimony,

let him speak now or forever hold his peace.

Then by the power vested in me by the state of California,

and the holy church,

I hereby declare you to be... - Wait!

Hold it up! Wait! Hold it!

Wait! TIFFANY: Hold everything.

Sharon.

I'm so sorry, but you can't marry him.

I found a sniper's rifle in his suitcase.

What is all this?

Claudia locked Kris in the closet.

Who are these people?

They're all in it together.

Claudia, Scott, and Burt.

Burt was gonna kill Sharon by accident.

Scott would get her money.

Yes, and Claudia was gonna help him spend it.

Scott, that... That's crazy.

You have to tell me that's not true.

Mark! Listen here, I...

I'll kill her. I mean it.

Stay right where you are.

Oh, poor...

We'll take it from here.

You see, Angels,

Scott planned to be the perfect, grieving widower

for a year or so,

while he and Burt opened a chain

of sporting goods stores,

and then Claudia would just drift back into his life.

It would seem perfectly natural, after all.

She is one of the family.

I feel so stupid.

Don't be silly.

He was good-looking, charming, sophisticated.

All the attributes of the well-crafted con man.

He fooled us too.

He had to, if his plan was going to work.

Sharon, it's nice to see that you're handling it so well.

Well, I stay home, watch TV, read a lot.

I told her she ought to get out more.

Well, Randy called a couple of times,

but I don't know.

After the way I treated him when I was with Scott.

Good photographer, Randy.

You ought to see the portrait he did of you.

I'll call him eventually, I guess.

Maybe you won't have to.

Hi.

Hi yourself.

We just thought we'd give you a little nudge.