Original subtitles

Once upon a time,

there were three little girls who went to the police academy...

Two in Los Angeles,

the other in San Francisco...

And they were each assigned very hazardous duties.

But I took them away from all that, and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.

Baggage on the 10:45 flight from San Francisco...

can now be picked up in the baggage area.

The 11:00 flight for San Diego, now boarding at Gate 11.

Flight 116 now boarding at Gate 4.

I just got here.

Is this how he looks today?

Where is he now?

Yeah, I'll find it. What kind of a car is he driving?

What's the license number?

All right.

♪♪

Thank you.

Enjoy your meal. Mm-hmm.

Good day, sir.

I'll just have a cup of espresso, please.

I'm sorry, sir. We don't have espresso.

Could you manage a coffee... in a clean cup?

I think so. Thank you.

I hope you don't mind the intrusion.

♪♪

I rarely approach strange ladies in restaurants.

But I just felt compelled to tell you...

that, uh, you possess a most engaging smile.

Well, you possess a most flattering manner.

Well, thank you.

I would love to remain here...

with my "flattering manner," but unfortunately...

Oh, a previous engagement?

Yeah.

Well, I'm lunching with a friend.

- A friend? - Of feminine gender.

- Oh, I see. - I'll be here quite a while.

Perhaps another time?

As I said, I'll be here for quite a while.

Oh.

Oh, I... I... Oh, I see.

Play on.

♪♪

Bosley, you arrived here about 20 minutes ago.

Do you think your mind will be joining us soon?

I'm not sure that it will.

I suddenly find this all very tedious.

Well, yearly expense accounting always is, Bos,

but we're here to help you every way we can.

You're here to help me?

You talk as if all of this is my responsibility.

Office matters usually are, Bos.

Oh, yes, of course.

I mean, you three naturally are at ease in the field, where all the action is.

And all of this drudgery naturally falls on my shoulders.

Bosley, we're a team. Right.

I mean, we do our thing, and, well, that's how it works.

You three, uh, think you know me very well.

Well, let's just say we're comfortable with you, Bos.

Yeah? Well, that's very interesting.

Because right now, I don't feel very comfortable.

Bosley, are you upset with us?

No, no, I'm not upset with you. Of course not.

I mean, you're my family. I'd do anything for you.

It's just that I am upset because you...

find me so predictable.

You know, I think dependable is a better word, Bos. Oh, much.

Oh, yeah, much, much.

Good old dependable Bosley.

Buried under a pile of paperwork,

when I'd rather be somewhere else.

- Somewhere else? - What if I should just suddenly disappear?

Huh? Could you find me?

My, we are being mysterious.

No, no, no. Think about it.

Could you find me? Bosley.

I mean, am I that comfortably predictable?

Are you challenging us in some way?

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess I am. Yeah, I'm challenging you.

- Well, what for? - I don't know.

I don't know. Maybe, uh...

Maybe it's because I'm upset with myself.

All I know is that before I came here,

something happened to me that, uh,

was very pleasant.

And suddenly I want to pursue it.

And leave us here with three days' paperwork?

Look, I'll make you a deal.

Now look, I just walk out that door, but I will call...

I will call you, uh,

let's say every two hours, and I'll give you clues. Ohh.

Bosley, this is crazy. No, no, no, no. Just listen to me.

I'll call back every two hours, I'll give you clues,

and if you can figure out by the clues where I am or what I am doing,

I will come back here right off,

and I will do all of this work all by myself.

- All of it? - All of it.

But that is providing that the three of you stay here...

and continue to work until the game is over.

Now, that way, the sooner you win,

the less work you do.

Deal?

Bosley,

I don't know what you're up to,

but whatever it is, it seems real important to you.

Yeah.

Deal.

Thanks.

Deal.

Okay, but you're gonna call us in two hours?

I will. Thanks.

Thanks very much.

Have fun. Two hours, Bosley. Don't forget.

What's that all about? I don't understand.

♪♪

I was going to offer a seductive hello and then say your name.

And then I suddenly remembered I don't know your name.

It's Ellen. Ellen Miles.

Hi, Ellen. I'm John Bosley.

Uh, may I? Oh, please, yes.

Your, uh, lady friend never arrived?

No. No.

Minor family emergency.

I suppose I should say this is a pleasant surprise.

You mean, it isn't? Oh, it is pleasant.

But not quite a surprise. No?

You know, I almost expected you to come back.

Really? Well, there was no reason to expect.

It was just something I sensed.

Oh, uh, waiter,

has the lady had the strawberries and cream?

No. Well, then you bring her some.

Oh, and bring me some coffee too, would you, please?

Fine, sir. I think I'm an addict. I just can't break the habit.

Uh-oh.

Would you play something, uh, pianissimo,

and, uh, play it from the bar.

You are a rather spontaneous fellow, aren't you?

Well, if you believe I am, then I am.

I, um... I have time to spend. Do you?

Yes.

I have time to spend.

Well, good.

Angels, when did this "game"...

with you and Bosley begin?

- 'Bout an hour ago, Charlie. - I see.

So, you won't hear from him until 2:00 with his first clue. Yeah, Charlie.

Was there something important you wanted him for? Moderately important.

A man named Harrison Wellman was released from prison yesterday.

What's that got to do with Bosley?

Well, Bosley and I worked with the police as investigators on the case.

It was Bosley's testimony that helped convict Wellman.

Hey, wait a minute. I remember that case.

As I recall, there was a great deal of publicity on the trial.

And there'll be a lot of press concerning his parole.

Now, several reporters have attempted to question me.

I'm sure they'll be trying to reach Bosley.

So you want us to tell him not to talk to 'em, right? That's right.

We can't keep a low profile with the agency...

if we're being quoted in the press.

Okay, Charlie, we'll tell him as soon as we hear from him.

Fine, and, uh... and good luck with your game.

It really would be a shame if you three had to do all the paperwork.

Bye.

Uh-huh.

Do you get the impression Charlie is rooting for Bosley?

I don't think he's rooting for any of us.

♪♪

You know, you can't really get the feel...

of a place like this until you've had a candied apple.

A candied apple? Yes.

Oops. Bread and butter.

Don't tell me you've never heard of them.

Actually, I think I did have one once when I was a little girl.

Once? Well, I had a very protected childhood.

Oh, what were you protected from? I'm not sure.

My parents sensed adversity everywhere.

Oh, well, in that case, little lady, step right up and live dangerously.

Can we have two candied apples, please?

Would you pay for those? I'll be right back. I gotta make a call.

- Hello, Angels. - Six minutes late, Bosley.

Watching the clock, are we?

- Uh, Bosley, Charlie has a message for you. - Which is?

Well, you're to avoid any reporters who try to question you...

about a man named Harrison Wellman.

- Harrison Wellman? - Yes, he was recently paroled in San Francisco.

Oh, yes, right.

Harrison Wellman.

I helped send him to prison for killing his wife about eight years ago.

If he killed his wife, how come he's getting out of prison in eight years?

Well, it was all circumstantial evidence.

Some still think that he's innocent. It's a very controversial case.

Yeah, well, Charlie wants you to stay out of the controversy, Bosley.

Look, I don't have the slightest desire to even discuss Harrison Wellman.

Are you ready for your clue?

- Ready, Bosley. - All right.

The ambience is equestrian, the route is circular, and the mood is festive.

Give up, Angels?

Oh, come on. We gotta have more than that.

What do you mean? I'm all but spelling it out for you now.

Wait a minute! You're at the racetrack.

Better luck next time.

Hey! Hey, hey, watch it, will ya?

What was that? I don't know.

I don't know either, but I've heard that sound before.

Where?

I can't remember, but it's real familiar, you know?

Hmm.

♪♪

♪♪

You know, it appears to me that you not only...

did not eat many candied apples,

but you spent very little time on the merry-go-round.

That's true.

Why, may I ask, was your childhood so insulated?

Money. Ah, the lack of it.

No, too much of it.

Old eastern money.

Told we were of superior stock. We?

Oh, my brothers and I.

They went to Harvard. I went to Saint Anne's.

Oh, of course.

Where you majored in the social sciences and literature.

Close. Actually, I majored in journalism.

My parents felt that it was too practical for a young debutante destined to marry,

but I insisted and persisted and, uh, actually did graduate.

Did you ever escape this bondage that you were born into?

Well, I never married, if that's what you mean.

I've never committed to anyone or anything.

I've been safe all my life.

Yeah, well, I guess that, uh,

"safe" can be a pretty lonely place to live.

Yes, it can be.

Stay back! Stay back! What in the world? But what's going on?

What happened? I don't know. Somebody's shooting at us.

Stay here. What are you doing with a gun?

When somebody shoots at me, I sometimes shoot back.

Now just stay where you are.

Do you have espresso?

My customers couldn't even pronounce it.

I'll just have a cup of coffee.

John, what are you doing? What's that?

It's a wad of wax. Wax?

Yeah, like they use with blank cartridges.

Blanks?

You mean, someone was shooting blanks at us?

It would seem so. But why? What's going on?

I don't know. Well, you must have some idea.

I mean, people don't go around just shooting at people for no reason at all.

Who are you, John Bosley,

and... and why are you carrying a gun anyway? Because I have a permit.

But why do you have a permit? Are you a police officer?

I'm a detective. A detective?

Private. Oh.

Well, do you know who it was that shot at you? No, I don't.

I've got a vague idea, but it's just too preposterous to even consider.

Come on. Let's go to a restaurant.

What? You can eat at a time like this?

No, no, but I can have a drink. Come on. Oh, no, sir!

I am not budging from this spot until you tell me what you're not telling me.

- What am I not telling you? - That's what you're gonna tell me.

All of it, right from the beginning.

All right, all right.

I will tell you all of it, all of it right from the beginning.

First, I'm going to a restaurant and have a drink and make a phone call.

A Chablis. And a Chablis.

Thanks.

Boy, I'm looking forward to that drink.

Ah. Oh, thank you.

Now, my friend, talk to me.

All right. I am a private investigator.

And at the moment, I am playing a sort of a game with my associates.

A game? Yes. If they can guess where I am, they win.

And if they don't, I win.

Well, could this game have something to do...

with those shots that were fired at us?

Well, if I were inclined to paranoia,

I would say that my three friends, uh,

somehow found out where I was and are playing head games on me.

But that's bizarre behavior, even for them.

Well, then who do you think that...

But on the other hand,

they did tell me that a fellow that I helped send to prison...

was released yesterday.

You mean, to coin a phrase, a violent type?

Well, he was convicted of murdering his wife.

Well, anybody I might have heard of?

I don't know. His name was, uh, Harrison Wellman.

Harrison Wellman. Yes.

Oh, I remember that case very well.

As a matter of fact, I followed the reports of the trial quite closely.

Well, as I said, if I were inclined toward paranoia,

I mean, I could probably come to the conclusion...

that my three friends deliberately mentioned his name,

then came down here, and pop-pop!

Uh, shot a couple of blank shots at me,

hoping then that I would flee back to the office.

Oh, that seems pretty unlikely.

Well, I agree.

Which leaves us to a rather frightening thought. Which is?

Well, maybe Wellman really is here.

Firing blank cartridges?

Well, perhaps he wanted to frighten you.

To what purpose? Well, you did send him to prison.

Now, as I remember the case...

Didn't he claim that the shooting was accidental?

A hunting trip or something?

Well, he supposedly was shooting at a deer, and he hit his wife.

Unfortunately, though, I found bloodstains in their cabin.

Well, this is really fascinating.

Let me ask you something.

If you had seen that man that shot at us...

If you had seen Wellman pointing a gun at you,

how would you have felt at that precise moment?

I would have felt, uh, fear, of course.

And a sense of irony?

Irony? Well, that after all these years,

a man that you'd hurt...

suddenly wanted to hurt you.

There was nothing personal in my hurting Wellman.

I mean, I merely testified.

I did my job.

Come on.

Here's to more... pleasant thoughts.

Townsend Agency. Bosley here.

How goes the bookwork, Angels?

Slowly, Bosley. Very, very slowly.

Not too slowly, I hope.

Oh, don't you worry, Bosley. We're gonna save some for you. Mm-hmm.

You three have been toiling since last we spoke?

Yes, Bosley. Eagerly awaiting your next clue.

You never left the office?

We've been here ever since you left, Bosley. Just like we promised.

Well, a few minutes ago, I didn't think so.

What do you mean, you didn't think so?

I considered the possibilities that one or all of you...

came here and tried to gaslight me.

Gaslight you? Yes.

Someone or several someones...

took a couple of potshots at me.

Bosley, what are you saying?

I'm saying that someone shot at me and my companion. Companion?

Now wait a minute. You think we would do a thing like that?

I only considered it for a few moments because the shots were...

Well, they missed by a safe margin, and they were blanks.

What? Bosley, what are you talking about? Explain.

There is no explanation. At least nothing I can come up with at the moment.

Bosley, I think we better forget about our game and come to wherever you are.

Oh, no. A deal is a deal.

Look, Bosley, something serious is going on,

and I think we better get involved.

Meaning that I cannot handle action in the field?

Meaning you might be in danger, Bosley. We should be there.

Maybe I am in danger, and maybe I am not.

But there is one thing for sure, and that is that I am going to handle the action.

Now, here is your clue.

Bosley, forget about the clue.

Above the sea, beyond the shore, but in need of a boat no more.

Where are you, Bosley?

That is for you to figure, Angels. Bye.

Bosley! Bosley!

I do not like this.

Yeah, I don't like it either.

Charlie says this Wellman character gets out of prison.

All of a sudden, somebody's shooting at Bosley and his companion.

Look, who is Bosley's companion,

and where did he find this person?

Or did this person find Bosley?

I don't know, but I think we better call Charlie...

and tell him our little game's gotten out of hand, huh?

In the meantime, we better think about this clue.

Yeah, it's, "Above the sea, beyond the shore"...

- "But in need of a boat no more." - "Above the sea."

Well, you're looking very pleased with yourself.

Oh, and I am.

This little mystery that you and I have become involved in...

has given me the chance to rely solely on my own resources.

And I find that challenge very exhilarating.

You mean, you didn't tell your associates where you are or who you're with?

I most certainly didn't.

Much to their dismay.

You know, I'm very grateful to you.

Grateful to me? Why?

Oh, because this morning,

life had started off so... oh, so painfully.

Painfully what?

Painfully predictable.

And then I looked over, and there you were smiling at me.

All of a sudden, I felt uneasy, uncertain.

- Ow. - What, do you have a headache?

I'm just a little dizzy.

Well, I felt... I felt uncertain.

I suddenly felt foolish.

I felt like a high school kid.

Or maybe... Maybe like a college kid.

But liked that feeling very much.

John, you don't look well. Are you okay?

Oh, I'm all right. Ellen, you're caring.

You know, I think I could learn to like you very much.

I could learn to like you too.

- What is it? - Oh, I don't know what's the matter with me.

I... I can't keep myself in focus.

I think we'd better get some fresh air. Let's get out of here.

Oh, I think that's a good idea. Oh, yeah. Here. Oh.

That'll take care of it. Here, let me help you.

I'm sorry. Oh, don't be silly. Here.

And Bosley refused to tell you where he is or who he's with?

Yes, Bosley has developed a severe case of complete self-reliance, Charlie.

Charlie, do you remember this Wellman as being sort of a revengeful type?

Well, whether he'd want revenge or not doesn't matter now, Kris.

What do you mean? Well, one of the women reporters from an eastern paper...

who was trying to question me about the case this morning...

She told me that Wellman had been hospitalized last night in San Francisco.

Severe heart attack. He's not expected to live.

Well, then he's obviously not down here shooting at Bosley.

No, but Wellman's release and that shooting is still a coincidence too big to ignore.

- The pier! - What?

The Santa Monica Pier. Bosley's at the Santa Monica Pier.

- How do you know? - Remember that sound we heard in the background?

That out-of-tune... That thing. You know, the...

The calliope. Right!

The merry-go-round. Everything goes in a circular motion.

"Above the sea, beyond the shore, but in need of a boat no more." Right.

- You're right. The pier. - It all fits.

You better get over there. Meanwhile, I've got an idea.

What is it, Charlie? That lady reporter.

She told me Wellman's brother brought him into the hospital,

and that he was extremely agitated over Wellman's condition.

I remember the brother at Wellman's trial.

He did seem like the revengeful type.

Okay, Charlie, you can reach us on the car phone.

We'll be at the pier in less than 10 minutes.

Oh, I think I'd better drive.

Here, let me help you.

Oh, boy. You better get me to a doctor.

That won't be necessary.

I'm telling you, I really feel bad. I think I'm gonna pass out.

No, you are not going to pass out.

You're going to be partially immobilized. But you'll be able to talk.

What are you doing?

We're gonna get to the truth, John.

The truth about what?

About you and Harrison Wellman.

One way or another, we're going to get to the truth.

Don't move.

Hello?

Kris? Yes, Charlie?

I checked all the flights that came in from San Francisco since last night.

Lawrence Wellman was on one that came in at 10:45 this morning.

Well, that means he probably rented a car at the airport.

He did. A brown Mercedes, license number, 497 QLL.

License number 497 QLL.

A brown mercedes. That's right, Kris.

Well, it sounds like it's fitting together.

So it seems. How far are you from the Santa Monica Pier?

Almost there, Charlie. We'll get back to you.

What did you put in my drink?

I told you. Something to immobilize you while we talk.

So it was a setup, right?

Right from the beginning. You at that restaurant.

You were waiting for me. Well, I did some research.

I learned you go there every day.

The girls were right. I'm a creature of habit.

We'll talk about you and Harrison Wellman now.

Why did you perjure yourself at his trial?

Why do you care about Harrison Wellman?

Because I'm his sister. Huh?

His brother is in the car right behind us.

Our brother, I should say.

Lawrence Wellman. Oh, you remember Lawrence.

From the trial.

So that... That's who fired at us...

Fired at me just now, right?

Blanks... to frighten you without hurting me.

You can be sure there are very real bullets in his gun right now.

We were willing to chalk it all up to eight years of bad luck...

and help Harrison make a new life for himself.

But he's dying in a hospital in San Francisco.

So now you want, what, revenge? No.

We want the truth.

Harrison can't tell us, so you will.

You better start talking now. I'm afraid my brother is far less patient than I.

Listen. Listen to me.

Your bother killing his wife had nothing to do with me.

Look, I know you probably love your brother,

and you can't understand how he could kill another human being.

And maybe you feel that his guilt is yours,

but that has nothing to do with me.

Don't open that door.

Hey, move it!

You're not gonna shoot me.

Not with all these people looking. Oh, I will!

Oh, I mean it. I will.

No, you won't.

For eight years,

you've been hoping that you'd hear me say what you wanted to hear.

But you haven't, and you won't.

So you won't use that gun.

Get that thing out of here!

What's the holdup?

Let's get goin'! Come on! Hey, move it!

Why did you let him go?

Why did you let him go?

Pull across! Get moving! I gotta get out of here!

♪♪

If you can't drive it, push it!

Bosley!

Let me through! Let us through, please!

Let me through, please!

Come on! Come on! Hey!

Sorry.

Sorry, sorry.

Under the pier!

Wellman!

Okay, put it down nice and slow.

She said, put it down.

Ah-ah-ah! Uh-uh. Bosley, where are you hurt?

I'm not hurt. I'm all right. Bosley, you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure. I'm okay. I'm just dizzy. Oh!

Let's get out of here. Okay. Come on, Bos.

Hold on to him.

Wait a minute.

Give me a minute, will you?

Sure you're okay, Bos?

Yeah. Okay.

In case you're wondering,

this is Harrison and...

Lawrence Wellman's sister...

A charming and rather devious lady.

- John... - She set me up.

Rather cleverly too.

And it would seem, gained nothing by it.

I don't know about that.

That depends whether you believe what I told you.

Well, then maybe it wasn't a total loss.

Because I do believe you, John Bosley.

And I'm sorry.

Boy, what a pity.

I mean, under different circumstances, for you and me,

it might have been very pleasant.

There's not much more to say, is there?

Not to me.

Let's go.

You stay back.

Up, Bosley.

What? Get up. Put on your coat.

Why? 'Cause you're going somewhere.

Hi, Charlie. We just got here.

You don't have to pack. We bought you a whole new wardrobe.

You can go straight from here to the airport.

And you better hurry, because your plane leaves in less than an hour.

- Here's your ticket and some extra cash. - But where am I going?

I'm sending you to the Bahamas for a few days, Bosley.

- The Bahamas? To do what? - To do absolutely nothing.

Nothing? I don't understand.

Psst! Bosley, it's called a vacation.

A vacation?

But... But I've got all this bookwork to do.

That's okay. We're gonna take care of the bookkeeping.

No, no, no, no. I lost the game. You won.

I'm supposed to do all the bookwork.

What you're doing doesn't make any sense.

- Well, that just goes to show you. - Which is?

We're all not as predictable as you are.

Have a good time, Bosley.

Come on, Bos. You know, I am crazy about all three of you.

Or did you happen to know that too? Oh, we know.

We know everything about you, Bos. You're predictable.