Original subtitles

♪ ♪

Have those printed out on my desk.

Mm-hmm. I'll be in in an hour.

Oh, I need to go over the layouts

with the art department as well.

Yep. Same time as usual.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Okay.

Did you get my memo on the testing results?

The tea caddy's gonna be huge this year!

Coffee's king, but tea's trending this season,

which reminds me,

I still have a lot of serious concerns

about that lemon squeezer.

Uh-huh.

All right, we're all set to finalize the catalogue...

It's black, white, touch of red.

Classic, but a little bit of whimsy.

Uh-huh?

Okay, well then, what time is the meeting?

Well, cancel it.

We're gonna have to work through lunch.

Uh-huh.

So what did the memo say?

We're going to feature the chafing dish

with the Brussels sprouts.

Because Brussels sprouts are the new asparagus.

Alright.

No. No! That is not what my father said.

We're gonna lead with the electric pepper grinder.

Mm-hmm.

Okay. We still need to deal with the cheese-slicer issue.

Perfect.

Thank you! Enjoy.

Cheddar's out. Jarlsburg's in.

Swiss, yes. I'm sorry.

Um... sorry.

Sorry. Can I...

One second. Yep.

Swiss, yes. Colby, no.

Havarti's the new parmesan.

Well, don't stop there.

What about cheez whiz?

Gridley?

Josie?

I'm gonna have to call you back. Hi!

Hi!

Um, how long has it been?

Uh...

- High school? - Yeah!

Oh, it's been, like, a million years since... prom!

Uh, yeah!

- Oh! No... - Oh! No.

- Yeah... - Ugh.

Ah, I can still see your parents' faces

when I opened that door.

Yeah, well, I'm still seeing you

in your shiny green tux.

It was festive!

It was pretty green.

Well, I can still see you at the top of the stairs.

You had that sparkly dress and your hair all...

- whatever... - Big. Really big.

Whatever you call it, with the flowers.

You were the prettiest girl I'd ever seen.

Thanks.

What happened to you? You really let yourself go.

Yeah.

So I've heard all these stories about you,

just traveling, all over the place.

What are you doing back here in the city?

- You remember Teddy? - Yeah.

From high school?

Teddy who sat behind me in algebra?

Yeah, so he sold his tech company,

and I'm house-sitting while he's in California.

Six months free rent, plus valet parking.

Then I find a place of my own.

And I see, in the meantime,

you're dealing in driftwood.

Yes. Driftwood is the new plywood.

Is it?

When they sell, I do pretty well.

These are really amazing.

Thank you. And you're running a corporate empire?

No, still working for my dad

at Mayfield's.

Oh, I just bought one of your spoons.

Did you? Pasta? Salad?

I have no idea,

but it makes a great minute-hand.

- That is pasta... - Salad? Pasta.

It's pasta.

What is this? A sundial?

Yep. It's, uh, 7:30-ish.

7:30.

Well, that's... I mean, it's really 7:20.

Yeah, your watch says 7:30.

I set it 10 minutes early, so I'm not late.

Why not 15?

Because that would be neurotic?

Mm. Funny.

I'm gonna go,

but would you like to share contacts?

I don't have a phone.

- Okay... - Anywhere.

But if you got a pen, I'll write it on my hand.

- I definitely don't have a pen. - Yes.

Are you gonna be here tomorrow?

Low tide all week.

Great. I will see you tomorrow.

- Alright. - Behave yourself.

No promises. Hey!

Let me know how that cheese thing turns out!

Pasta!

You're kidding me.

Greetings. I'm Josie Mayfield.

38 years ago, my father founded Mayfield's

right here in my mother's kitchen.

Since then, the name Mayfield's

has been synonymous with cookware,

bakeware, wooden spoons...

And this year, we are thrilled to introduce

our new Mayfield's tea line

and lemon squeezer.

Ouch!

Uh... ha.

Okay. Well.

Obviously, we will reshoot the lemon mishap,

but you get the idea.

And I look at this as a two-pronged approach...

We have a weekly video blog,

and a way to introduce our customers

to new, exciting products. Such as...

The Mayfield's home sodamaker...

For the serious soda aficionado.

Mayfield's is about coffee and tea, not soda.

Yes, sir, I know,

but the 18 to 49-year-old male is not drinking earl grey

while watching Monday night football.

Josie, do you know why.

Mayfield's is still in business?

Yes, because we stay the course

and give the customers what they expect.

- Exactly. - We're not growing, dad.

We're not shrinking either.

Fine. Alright.

The reps are in. I will handle them.

Francis in accounting just had her baby,

so we sent her a very nice gift basket

with a Mayfield bottle-warmer.

And the product testing for the cheese-slicer.

Is tomorrow, that does it.

Not quite. You are coming home

for the party this weekend?

- Of course. - Alone?

No. I'm bringing Richard.

Oh, I see.

Daddy, what is wrong with Richard?

He's the perfect man.

On paper, yes.

He's... ambitious.

You love ambitious.

He talks too fast.

Really?

Alright, I don't know, exactly,

but there's just something about him.

Fine. Is there anyone I could bring home

that you would approve of?

I guess you're just still my little girl.

Janet, where are those reports?

The client's been waiting since Monday.

Hey. What are you doing here?

- I missed you. - Mm-hmm?

And?

And I need five minutes with your father.

He's not returning my calls.

Richard...

I know, but this client's a perfect fit.

MBA from Penn, 10 years at P&G...

He could run Mayfield's foreign sales

with his eyes closed, and he speaks mandarin.

Trust me... The only mandarin

my father cares about is "moo shoo pork."

Just put us in a room. You have his ear.

I have his DNA.

And you two have been in a room together.

It did not go well. I really want him to like you.

He will!

No, he won't, if you keep pitching him.

Plus, he thinks you're a fast-talker.

What's wrong with talking fast?

Fast-talkers are untrustworthy.

I'll wear him down. You'll see.

What, like water erodes a mountain?

Exactly.

You do know that takes billions of years?

I can wait.

Dinner tonight?

Uh, clients. Breakfast tomorrow?

Uh, reps. How about lunch?

Can't. Tied up all day. Day after looks good.

Oh. 12:30? 1:00.

- Bye. - Bye.

♪ ♪

This placement's not a walk in the park.

We're not gonna get this guy in a lateral hire.

He's got options.

Well, what do you want me to say to you?

I'll call you back.

♪ ♪

Mr. Mayfield. Richard.

Richard Wright of Wright, Silver,

and Gumm Executive Search...

Your daughter's boyfriend?

Yes. I remember.

Did you press all of those buttons?

No, sir... some kid must have been in here.

But while we're trapped in here,

I'd like to run something by you.

♪ ♪

So how's next week looking for you?

Um...

Another time, then?

♪ ♪

Well, her invites are ecru,

so she'd like the napkins to be the same color.

Alright, just please remember the dessert forks,

sterling only.

Thank you.

Coronation?

Close. My parents are having a party this weekend.

It's their 40th wedding anniversary

wow! Congrats. Send them my best.

Yeah.

On second thought, why ruin their day?

What are you making here?

I'm thinking camel.

Oh. Camels don't really sell.

Uh, donkey?

Ooh. Political connotations.

You don't want to limit your clientele.

Alright. How about a horse?

Yes! Yes. Horses

are the number-four favorite animal,

after dogs, cats, and dolphins.

Then a horse it is! Giddy-up.

Mm-hmm.

You know what? My boyfriend's partners play polo.

This might look really nice in their reception area.

You have a boyfriend?

Yeah.

Are you seeing somebody?

Not at the moment.

So...

Who's the lucky guy?

Ooh. Thank you. He is an executive headhunter.

Ouch.

And what do your folks think of this boyfriend?

Mm, you know my dad,

he doesn't think anybody's good enough for me.

I know he didn't think I was good enough for you.

Don't feel bad.

Richard has everything that's on my father's checklist,

and he still doesn't approve.

Ah... the Mayfield checklist!

Good job, good family, good manners.

Goodbye.

Pretty much.

Well, I'm just gonna come out and say it.

You know why your dad's repulsed by this guy?

I never said he was repulsed!

Look, it's his job.

No father wants his daughter dating a cannibal in a suit.

He's not a cannibal. He is a headhunter.

What's the difference?

Richard places clients in employment positions,

and a cannibal chops people up and eats them for dinner.

Tomato, tom-ah-to.

Hey!

Hey! Hey-hey-hey! That's my minute-hand!

It's okay!

I'll get you another one.

I'll hold you to it.

Okay.

♪ ♪

Hello. This is Josie Mayfield. Please leave a message.

Josie, it's your mother.

I hope you're not bringing

that Richard person to the party.

Your father had a most uncomfortable incident

with him in the elevator yesterday.

At any rate, get back to me as soon as you can, dear.

Dad, you should go to bed.

You look tired.

♪ ♪

You're micro-shuffling again.

How else is this place going to get in shape?

Claire, there's not a napkin out of place.

There hasn't been in years.

Please. Just sit.

Rex, dear. Come.

Rex.

Come.

Mindy's coming in tomorrow.

You do recall you have two daughters?

When Mindy wants to join the company,

I will muster more enthusiasm.

For heaven's sake...

Let the girl finish college in peace.

She's been there for five years.

Josie finished in three.

Yes, dear. I know. I was at the graduation.

♪ ♪

I just talked a little business, that's all.

I spoke slowly.

He doesn't trust people who speak slowly!

I thought he didn't trust people who speak fast.

He doesn't! Honey.

Can we just keep our relationship

separate from Mayfield's business?

You're right. I'm sorry.

I thought we were going to lunch?

We are, but first, I want you to see a driftwood horse.

What?

I ran into a friend of mine

and I would like to buy

one of his sculptures for your office.

Please! Just indulge me.

He's an old friend from high school,

and I want to help him.

Why?

Because we were good friends. You know?

We did all the nerdy little clubs together,

like glee club and prom decorating,

and he seems a bit lost.

Uh-huh.

Uh-oh. You'll lose your head there, buddy.

Hi!

Hey. Corporate takeover at the park?

Gridley, this is Richard, Richard, this is Gridley.

Richard Wright.

Ah. So you are Mr. "Right," literally.

Good to meet you.

You as well.

Oh.

So you two were friends?

Yep! Old friends. Maplewood High.

Yeah, not to mention we went to prom together.

Uh, sun tea, anyone? Fresh jug.

Actually, we're just on our way to lunch.

But I wanted to Richard to see your horse.

Right. About that...

I know you said camels don't sell,

but I had to listen to my gut,

and my gut just said...

- Camel? - Camel. Said "camel."

Now the only question is... Dromedary, or...

- Bactrian? - Bactrian. It's more dramatic.

Alright, well, now that that's settled,

you kids ready for the big anniversary weekend?

- Oh! - Oh, by the way...

Do not wear a green tux.

They hate that.

Thanks for the tip, but I'm actually not going.

My parents are being my parents.

Ah, well, don't take it personally.

Mr. M gives all Josie's boyfriends a rough time.

I mean, I probably won't even go,

so it's fine.

Well, if you don't go, they'll blame Richard.

There's no coming back from that.

True. That is a lose/lose.

Well, we should head off. Good luck with the, uh...

The camel.

Alright. Thank you.

Ooh! For you.

What's this?

The pasta and the salad spoon!

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Now I can add a second-hand!

Good luck.

I got it!

I got it!

Hey. What are you doing this weekend?

Well, I'd have to check my schedule.

Uh...

I'm wide open.

You know what would make your parents

roll out the welcome mat for me?

Him.

What?

Bring him to the party.

I mean, your parents think

that there's somebody better out there for you.

What if they see that there's someone worse?

No offense.

Uh, none taken.

That's a terrible idea, Richard.

Uh, well, actually,

to be honest, it's kind of a brilliant idea.

I mean, Mr. and Mrs. M probably still hate me.

After a weekend with him,

they'll think that I'm a prince.

Okay. I'm uncomfortable with this,

and that's a bad position to put you in.

Yeah, you're right, I don't...

Okay. Just a thought.

Okay.

- Bye. - Bye.

So where do you want to go for lunch?

Oh, I know this great new place.

You know what?

I'll do it.

Yeah?

Yeah!

Hey. Anything to help you lovebirds out.

Alright! Well, we owe you.

What's this?

This is gas money. It's a long drive.

Oh, no, no. My truck runs on vegetable oil.

Converted it with a kit.

For vegetable oil, then.

No, I get a free supply

from the Chinese food place across the street. Thank you.

Okay.

Are you sure you're okay with this?

When do we leave?

♪ ♪

We're going to need more testing on the sodamaker.

Well, it's just not up to our standards yet.

Sorry about that.

Boy, it never stops, does it?

That is family business for you.

We have to make it perfect if it has the Mayfield name.

Personal sodamaker? Sounds expensive.

You know, you can buy soda at the dollar store.

Well, I'm sure it's not as good.

No! It's terrible, but it's a dollar.

Our target market can afford it.

So how is it working for your dad?

You know,

the less things change, the more they stay insane.

Change is good.

Sometimes.

It will buy you a bottle of soda.

Touche.

Thanks again for coming this weekend.

My pleasure.

We owe you.

Ah, what are friends for?

♪ ♪

Are you ready for this?

Absolutely.

We're here!

Hello, dear!

- Hi, daddy. - Hello, sweetheart.

Mr. and Mrs. M.

- Happy 50th! - 40th!

Well, 30, 40, 50...

The main thing is, you're still together,

and so happy.

Who's this?

You remember Gridley, from high school?

Yes.

Vividly.

- Ah! - Uh-uh.

Uh...

How do you want to handle this, Mr. M?

Handshake?

High-five? Knuckle-bump?

Handshake. Um...

Your vehicle, it's, um, it's leaking oil.

Ahh. Well, no worries. It's vegetable oil.

A good hosing'll wash that right off.

Something smells like Chinese food.

Oh, yeah. That might be me.

Nan-king gardens... Good call.

Well, we appreciate you bringing Josie home.

Can I get you a glass of water before you leave?

Oh, no, mother, he's not leaving.

He's staying for the weekend.

I don't understand.

He's my plus-one.

♪ ♪

Ugh. What is this?

We thought you were still seeing that "Richard" person.

You didn't approve of Richard,

so I started seeing other people.

He's on the back burner for right now.

And Maxwell Gridley is on the front burner?

Yes. I ran into him while I was out jogging,

and we have a history together, he makes me laugh!

He has a very contagious outlook on life.

Let's hope that's all that's contagious.

♪ ♪

Mindy?

Gridley?

Ah!

Hey!

Look at you all grown-up!

You look great!

Oh, you need your eyes checked.

Nah. I'm 20/20.

Are you and Josie, like...

Ah, yes and no.

More "no."

You just getting here?

I wish. Just running errands for mother superior.

What is that, a weapon?

"Grape scissors."

Ah... crucial.

Okay. Does the driveway smell like Chinese food?

Come on.

Hiya, sis!

Hey!

Hi!

Honey, you look so good!

Guess who's in town?

Wade Wilson!

- Did you talk to him? - No, I can't!

Invite him to the party.

Mom would be furious. You know how she feels about the Wilsons.

So?

Besides, he wouldn't come.

Mrs. M, this place...

It's even better than I remember.

Oh, wow!

Uh, don't touch that, please.

It's expensive.

It's Faberge.

- Oh. - Dad gave that to mom...

for their first wedding anniversary.

Our second anniversary.

Our first anniversary, we were poor.

Well, poor in money, rich in love.

Something like that.

Hey, who's this?

He's new.

Rex, come.

Rex?

Come!

Come!

Rex... come!

He doesn't like people.

Oh!

Hey, fella.

There you are.

Oh, that's a good boy.

Hi, Rex.

Hi. Oh!

Hey, fella.

Gridley, you remember my grandfather, right?

Yes! Of course.

How are you, sir?

You took me fishing once, remember?

Oh, I love this show!

He doesn't speak.

It's been almost two years now.

Oh? Cool...

Like a vow of silence?

Dementia.

Oh!

Well, who doesn't have a touch of that?

"Which overweight U.S. president got stuck

in the presidential bathtub?"

Oh! I know this. I know this...

It's, um...

Wait! Yeah!

William Howard Taft.

Everyone.

I have a thrilling announcement.

It appears patience and hard work really do pay off.

The Mayfield house has secured

the coveted "beautiful homes" page

in this Sunday's Chronicle!

Kudos, Mrs. M!

Mom, that is so great.

Yeah. You've wanted that forever.

Or at least since

the Wilsons' house was selected.

There you go.

The Wilsons, huh?

They still live next door?

Unfortunately.

He doesn't drink.

Well, at any rate,

the photographer will be here tomorrow night

to shoot the party.

And it goes without saying,

everything has to look perfect.

And when hasn't it?

Thank you, dear.

To the Mayfields!

To the Chronicle.

To Josie and Gridley.

Mm! I almost forgot.

I brought presents.

That isn't necessary.

Ah...

Hey, this really isn't necessary.

Ah, it's no problem.

Alright!

Mindy...

This is for welcoming me so warmly into your home.

Sir.

I remembered how much you liked hats.

That's your favorite color, if I recall?

Thanks, Gridley.

Go on. I think you're gonna like it.

I know you love the canines.

Oh... he looks exactly like Prince.

Who's Prince?

It's her favorite dog. He died last year.

Oh, that's terrible! Should I...

No.

Oh, uh...

Bet you haven't seen one of those in a while, huh?

No, I haven't.

Quite unexpected.

Hey, come on over here. Come on.

That's a good boy.

Mrs. M, I am so sorry about Prince.

Let's just not talk about it, shall we?

Come on. Let go.

I am so sorry! I'll clean it up.

No! I've got it!

And take off that ridiculous hat.

♪ ♪

Look what he's done to you!

I rented a tux in that color once.

Yes. We remember.

I think it looks festive.

Go wash that out right now.

Can you please

give us a moment alone with our daughter?

Of course.

And don't touch anything in there!

It's for the party.

Roger that.

What were you thinking, bringing him here?

I don't even have a word for him!

Well, I'm sure you'll think of one.

It's a "big-mouth bass."

For the fisherman in all of us.

May I?

♪ Way down upon the Swanee River ♪

♪ Far, far away ♪

Well, let's begin, shall we?

Bon appetit.

Well, I don't know about anyone else,

but I could eat a horse.

Or a camel.

I thought I told you to wash that out?

I tried, it wouldn't come out.

Well, it better not

look like that tomorrow night

when the photographer gets here.

It's not the end of the world, Claire.

Maxwell?

I assume you have appropriate attire for the party

tomorrow night?

Don't worry, Mrs. M I won't embarrass you.

Learned that lesson at prom.

Nevertheless, Mr. Mayfield will lend you a jacket and a tie.

Ooh! Quite the selection.

You will have 30 dark suits

and 30 matching ties to choose from.

Your father has always been a creature of habit,

haven't you, dear?

Not always.

Well, this chicken is fantastic.

It's cornish game hen.

It's a bit dry.

It's like I always make it.

Yes. It is.

Tell me, Maxwell, what exactly do you do for a living?

- And the inquisition begins. - Well, to be honest...

there aren't enough hours in the day

to do everything I'd like to do.

And what might those things be?

Gridley works with driftwood, dad.

There's a living in that?

Well, my income ebbs and flows with the tide.

Just like our business, dad.

But I can't say enough good things about driftwood.

It's got character, it won't rot, and... it's free!

Of course, I do have other ventures.

Topiary. And I teach

water aerobics at the community center

on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Driftwood, topiary and water aerobics.

Hmm. It appears you're a triple-threat.

Thank you.

Mindy... do you really need that?

Don't put it back. You've already touched it.

There's more for you and me, gramps.

Maxwell, you'll be staying in the yellow room tonight.

The yellow room? Where's that?

It is as far from my bedroom as possible,

without being outdoors.

♪ ♪

I don't know what in the world she sees in him.

I should never have told her that I didn't like Richard.

Oh! Richard's a dream compared to this one.

♪ ♪

Okay, so what is going on

with you and Gridley?

I have to be honest with you,

out of all the guys that you ever brought home,

he's the only one that I ever really liked.

Alright, I'm gonna tell you something,

but you do not say a word to mom and dad.

Are we clear?

- Mm-hmm. - Okay.

He's just here to make Richard look better.

What?

He's doing me a favor. You know how mom and dad are.

You're really gonna like Richard.

Okay, well, uh... What is he like?

Well, he's sharp and really driven,

and good-looking.

So... he's you.

Definitely yellow.

Oh, there's nothin' to see in there, pal,

but I did bring you

a little treat from the dinner table.

Come here!

There you go.

I think today went pretty well.

Sort of.

I mean, as long as Josie's happy,

I'm golden, right?

What do you think, Rex?

Did I pull it off?

Oh! You're easy.

♪ ♪

Oh, dear.

Is one of your daughters dating a handyman?

I hear your son's in town.

I hope he hasn't flunked out already.

Quite the opposite. He's a perfect fit for an Ivy.

Joseph went to Yale.

Really?

And now he sells wooden spoons.

A lot of them.

Hmph.

Just saw that dreadful Audrey Wilson.

Here's your egglette and bagelette, dear.

Photographer's coming at 6:00.

I'll never have everything ready in time.

I don't know why

you insist on doing everything yourself.

Because that way,

I'll know things will be done right.

I'm sure everything will be fine.

Morning, Mrs. M.

Mr. M.

Rex and I were just about to go for a walk.

The dog'll get filthy.

I'll have to bathe him again!

It's a dog, Claire.

Rex, dear, come.

Rex...

Come!

Rex! Come on, boy.

Whoa-ho!

Oh, no!

Oh!

What have you done?

It wasn't me, it was...

What am I talking about?

It was totally my fault. I am so sorry!

It's not so bad...

The tray is fine.

This is a nightmare.

Mom! It's an accident. It's just a cake.

No, this was my signature Dulce de Leche cake,

that was going to be featured in the Chronicle.

I can fix this.

Oh, you can't imagine my relief!

Just give me an hour. Two, tops.

Why not take half an hour?

Or 15 minutes? After all, I only spend half the night baking it!

Claire...

Call Village Bakery. I'm sure they can do something.

Oh, better yet,

why don't I send Mindy to the supermarket

to get a frozen pie?

Claire!

Are you protecting Rex?

Hey, he's got to live here.

Poor Rex.

I'm gonna fix this cake. Any ideas?

Oh, I don't bake, I don't cook.

I can't even use a lemon squeezer.

Oh!

I haven't had a Twinkie since we were little kids!

Yeah, I bought them on sale.

Look, Gridley, you don't have to do this.

Yeah... I do.

The point was to change her mind,

not break her heart.

Look alive.

She's not gonna like it.

We'll see.

Oops! You got it?

Yep, beautiful. Perfect.

Do you want it level

or do you want it staggered?

Do it level, slightly staggered,

a little cantilever.

It's like the arch we made for prom.

Oh, yeah! That was awesome.

It was awesome till it fell

on all those poor little juniors.

Oh, yeah! That was awesome.

Stop it.

Alright, where does this go?

Tell me that isn't the same tree

that I, uh...

TP'd?

You knew?

- Yeah, I knew! - Did your folks know?

Oh, no, they blamed Wade Wilson for years!

Oh! Wade Wilson!

Whatever happened to that brat?

That's "Dr. Brat" to you, sir.

He's is first-year med school.

Well, I knew he'd never amount to anything!

Right.

You remember that trick that I used to do?

Don't do it!

- You remember it? - Don't do it.

You mean this one? This trick?

- So annoying! - This trick?

- It's like the most annoying... - Look!

Ohh!

- You did not... - Stop it! Be an adult!

Stop! My phone's ringing.

Richard! Hi. How's golf?

What's in your hair?

Huh? Do I have frosting... I have frosting in my hair.

Um, uh, Gridley's making a cake.

Really? So...

Things are going well then?

Mm! Mm-hmm. Fantastic.

Yeah. They hate me.

They do! They hate you so much.

- Hey! - Ahh!

Honey, I gotta call you back, okay?

Clock is ticking on this cake.

- Bye-bye! - Sure...

Mom! What do you think?

Well, it's not my cake, but I suppose it will do.

I can give you the recipe, if you'd like.

That will not be necessary.

Dodged a bullet there, huh?

Could you please put down that toy?

It's annoying.

Okay, girls, follow me. We have work to do.

Anyone up for a walk?

No, thank you.

Maybe I'll take granddad, then.

He won't go.

Okay. Rex?

He won't go either.

Alright. Guess I'll go by myself.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

I always loved this town.

I grew up near the gas station up on hill.

Wasn't the most glamorous address,

but we did have nice, big old trees.

Oak.

They're sycamore trees.

Yeah.

Good call on that William Howard Taft, though.

Wait!

I... I thought you didn't talk.

Dementia or...

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I'm-I'm-I'm sharp as a tack, yeah.

Yeah.

This way, I get to tune everybody out.

But that's...

That's genius!

Who else knows about this?

Nobody, and I want to keep it that way.

My lips are sealed.

Time to turn around.

But what about Josie and Mindy?

Ah, that's a tough one.

Collateral damage, I guess.

But don't worry... I'll make up for it in my will.

- Ready? - Yep.

I thought the party was inside.

Oh, it's just in case someone looks out a window.

What are we doing?

Re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

I wanted to mention to you

that Richard really does have

a lot of great contacts.

So if you're ever looking for, like, a...

A real job?

Well, I mean, it's not like you need one,

but should the driftwood thing ever drift away...

I'll call Richard Wright of Wright, silver, and gunk.

That's gumm.

- What? - Gumm?

Oh, no, thanks. Trying to quit.

Hey, I'm sorry about the green hair.

Actually, I owe you an apology.

I lied. It does come out.

What?

I like having green hair.

Makes me feel like I'm someone else.

Mindy, why would you want to be somebody else?

Uh, because I'm invisible. In this family.

I'm like an afterthought.

That's not true.

Come on, Josie.

You've always been the favorite.

You're the go-getter, like dad,

and I'm the Mayfield black sheep.

Or the green sheep.

Alright, look, you're not

supposed to know what you're doing at this age.

Well, you did.

But you're in college still.

I dropped out.

Mindy... when?

Last year.

Please don't tell mom and dad, okay?

They're just gonna freak out.

Look, I have a job.

At a coffeehouse. I'm singing there.

The thing is...

I want to be a singer.

Like...

I know how incredibly stupid that sounds...

No, it's not. It's not stupid.

Really?

No, remember?

We used to goof around all the time.

Singing the oldies.

♪ Won't you come home Bill Bailey? ♪

Yeah, but I was 8.

How come you didn't tell me this before?

I don't know.

I guess I just assumed you wouldn't approve.

That's crazy! Why wouldn't I approve?

Uh... because you have an MBA,

and you went straight into the family business,

and you pretty much haven't made a misstep since you could walk.

Mindy.

You are a great singer.

You always have been,

and I'm really, really proud of you for doing this, okay?

That other stuff, that's dad, that's stuff he cares about,

not me.

Wait. Are you saying that I'm like dad?

Heads up!

Geez!

♪ ♪

It's Wade Wilson.

What?

It's Wade Wilson. What do I do?

We gotta throw it back.

You hand it back.

And then what do I do?

Well, just think about what your mother would do,

and do the exact opposite.

Okay. Now.

- No! No... - Yes. Yes.

Yes. Good luck.

We should probably go.

Mindy?

Hey...

Thanks.

You're welcome.

I like your hair.

Thanks.

Is that Gridley?

Yeah.

That guy got me blamed for TP'ing your yard!

Yeah. I think there's still some left up on our roof.

Hey,

so, um, how much longer are you in town for?

Just the weekend. You?

Oh, just until my parents' party is over.

We weren't invited.

Oh, lucky you.

What have you been doing in school?

Oh, you know...

Come on, let's give these kids some privacy.

Hey, you don't think I'm like my dad, do you?

Nah. You're way prettier.

Maybe a little.

I could be wrong.

No. You're right.

I mean, he's like a Swiss watch,

and I suppose I am, too.

I haven't had a spontaneous moment in forever.

Hey! You invited me home. He wouldn't have done that.

Oh, Richard invited you home, actually.

And I got through the front door this time.

Good work.

"Dulce de Leche?"

I think we just found your mom's "signature" cake.

It's from a bakery.

I cannot believe that, all these years,

she's been pretending to make this.

I mean, what am I saying? Of course I can.

Let's put it back.

Who's out there?

It's just me...

Wade Wilson!

What are you doing?

Alright, alright, but what about the time.

Mrs. L put on the panda suit?

And she was...

It was so dumb!

She was a good teacher.

Aw, she was alright.

Oh, man. How many times did we skip chemistry

to play frisbee?

Well, it's because the auditorium window

was always loose... They made it too easy.

Probably still is.

Now?

♪ ♪

Shh. Come on.

Maybe there's another open window.

I'll go.

I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go.

Okay.

Oh, my god.

- Watch out. - Sorry.

We did it!

Get the door.

Okay.

♪ ♪

Good work.

Ah.

It's so small.

- Nice! - Yes.

I'm home!

I wonder if they got the number back on my locker.

No.

- No! Numberless. - Is it?

And they took the green day sticker off.

How dare they?

- Right? - Ruined!

Where are our pictures?

Are they in the trophy case?

We have to look.

I mean, we were a pretty big deal.

I mean, pretty big!

No, this is sports. That was not...

We weren't even allowed to look at this one.

Not us.

Gridley! Here we are!

"Senior Prom Decorating Committee." Look at that.

Aw!

Why did you let me wear my hair like that?

It's awful!

Well, clearly, hair was my thing.

Well... no, you were captain of building things.

Yeah. And sometimes, they even stayed up.

It was all so much fun.

What happened? Why did we lose touch?

We were such great friends.

I don't know. Life goes on, I guess.

You went to Wharton, I went to Walmart.

Hey, what did happen with school?

I mean, you had really good grades.

Yeah, I went. For a year. Got a scholarship.

Where?

M.I.T. Engineering.

Gridley, you did not drop out of M.I.T.

Well, you know, my mom got sick,

and I wanted to help out, and then, after she died,

I just kind of lost interest in school.

Hey, I didn't know any of that.

I'm sorry. That's horrible.

It's alright. I...

It pushed me in another direction.

I groomed horses in Kentucky.

I taught english in Guatemala.

I did ski patrol in Utah,

I even crewed a lobster boat in Maine.

Won't be doing that again.

- Oh! - I know.

You've lived, like... 10 lives.

I can barely manage one.

Oh, I think you're managing pretty well.

I should've defended you back then.

No. It's alright.

It's not.

I mean, it did bother me

that your parents didn't think I was good enough.

But it was a long time ago.

They were wrong. They're wrong now.

I'm sorry. I want you to know that. I'm...

I'm really sorry.

Apology accepted.

Oh!

♪ ♪

Go, go!

♪ ♪

I'm sorry to interrupt.

Apparently, I'm supposed to borrow a dark suit,

a white shirt, and a tie.

You winning?

And losing.

Rook to queen's bishop.

I wouldn't have taken you for a chess player.

Well, my dad taught me.

Hmm. Pull up a chair.

What does your dad do for a living?

Mechanic.

Actually, he fixed your car once.

He worked at the station up on hill.

Yeah, it's a long time ago,

you probably don't remember.

Big guy, red hair.

That was him.

I do remember.

He did a really good job.

Very reasonable, too.

That he was.

He still working?

Ah, a little.

Moved to Florida after my mom died.

- Aw, I'm sorry. - Nah.

They had a lot of good years together.

Not as many as you and Mrs. M.

We've had a lot of years, I'll say that.

40.

That's a lifetime.

Sometimes, it feels like two lifetimes.

She's working really hard to make this party nice.

It must mean a lot to her.

What means a lot to Claire

is getting on the cover of the Chronicle.

Your move.

Uh, by the way, thank you for the slinky.

It, uh... Well, it reminds me

of a time when things weren't so ordered.

You're welcome.

Check.

You know, it's good manners to let your host win.

Not a chance.

♪ ♪

Wow!

You look...

Like my mother?

Well, I was going to say beautiful,

but yeah, that works.

Well, look at you, you're just like...

The C.E.O. Of "Driftwood, Inc."

Full-windsor, half-windsor,

eldredge, or cape knot?

What?

Half-windsor is the new full windsor.

Eldredge is the new half-windsor.

Oh, it's a tough call.

Eldredge.

Handsome.

♪ ♪

I'm gonna go fix that

before the national guard gets called in.

Yes. Of course.

Okay, there we go.

Alright, easy now. Watch your step.

Careful.

It's slippery. Careful.

- Careful. - I'm fine.

I'm not fine!

Oh!

Whoa!

♪ ♪

- Oh! - Oh...

Uh... Richard.

"Mr. Right."

Hi. Sorry to intrude. The door was open.

I just wanted to drop off an anniversary gift.

May your next 40 years be as happy as the first 40.

Thank you, Richard.

You want to open it?

I know how much you like coffee and tea products...

And this baby is straight from Switzerland.

The next generation in espresso machines...

Hasn't even hit the market yet.

I had a client pull a few strings.

Oh, that's very generous.

Very.

Hi, granddad.

Richard, this is my granddad.

Hi! Nice to meet you... sir.

He can hear. He just doesn't speak.

Oh.

It's okay.

And this is my sister, Mindy.

Hi, Mindy. I've heard so much about you.

You too.

Posture, Mindy.

So I can see that you've all got a lot going on here,

so I will just head out before your guests arrive.

I won't hear of it. You'll stay for the party.

Oh, no, thank you, but I've got a long drive back.

Nonsense!

We insist you stay.

In fact, you'll spend the night.

You can have the blue room,

upstairs at the end of the hall.

Thank you.

You know, we used to stock this line,

but the... The frother always broke.

Not on this one.

This is a Jura Impressa from Switzerland.

Top of the line.

Why don't you let me show you?

Let's go to the kitchen.

This baby is the Lamborghini of espressomakers...

All the bells and whistles.

Die-cast aluminum boiler,

uh, overheating protection device...

20-bar high-pressure pump.

I'm just going to plug it in and fire it up,

and I will show you how am...

♪ ♪

Oh! I don't believe it!

That stupid fish knocked the power out.

What did I do to deserve this?

♪ ♪

Mom, where are the extra candles?

I don't know! I can't see a thing.

Joseph! Get a flashlight.

Flashlight app.

Thank you, Richard.

Where's the panel? I'll check the breakers.

You've done quite enough.

How do I get out of here?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

You know what, Mrs. Mayfield?

I'll be happy to check the breakers.

They're downstairs.

I'll help you.

♪ ♪

Do you know how hard it is to get candle wax out?

Next thing you know, there'll be a fire!

The electrician can't get here until tomorrow.

This is a disaster!

The photographer's gonna be here any minute!

You know, I saw a generator in the Wilsons' yard.

We don't associate with the Wilsons.

Claire! Take a deep breath.

Sit down, I'm sure everything will be fine.

I don't see how.

♪ ♪

Which door is it?

Slow down. It's on the left. Right here.

- Okay. - Okay, shine the light.

It's over here.

What are you doing here?

Why were your arms around him?

Oh, Richard. I lost my balance.

This was a bad idea.

No! He's doing us a favor.

Oh, yeah?

Well, it looks like he's having too good a time.

He's not.

Besides, my parents just invited you

to spend the night.

You're right. I'm sorry.

I just... I saw you with him,

and I got a little bit jealous.

How crazy is that?

Right?

♪ ♪

Uh...

Come on.

Do you know what this reminds me of?

Our first date.

Oh, this is worse.

Well, the electricity went out in that restaurant.

Don't remind me.

I forgot my wallet.

I know, I lost my contact lens.

I couldn't even pay the bill.

We couldn't pay a lot of bills in those days.

Alright, this should do the trick.

Oh, perfect! Thanks, guys.

Hey, no problem.

You know, it's nice to see Mindy open up.

Maybe we should get you some green hair.

Oh, no. No.

I'll stick with the gray.

Can I be honest with you?

Well... If you have to.

I kind of like being in a relationship,

even if it's pretend.

Still pretend, huh?

Does it matter? She's with Richard.

That guy's a stiff.

I don't know, gramps. I might be in over my head here.

Let me tell you something.

If you never commit to anything,

you're gonna miss out

on some of the best things in life.

You know you're a guy

who hasn't spoken to his family in two years?

Alright. Fingers crossed.

Oh!

Just in time!

Easy. Watch your step.

We can't thank you enough.

Well done, Richard.

- Bravo! - My pleasure.

I don't know what we would have done.

You gonna let that suit take credit?

That's what I'm here for.

Well, if you say so.

Alright, let's get going.

We have so much to do before everyone gets here.

Joseph, go check on the food.

Richard, get... Get those candles.

Um... sure.

Okay, dad, you need to get dressed. Go on.

You, too, Richard.

How do we think today went, Rex?

Yeah. That's what I thought.

Oh.

Thank goodness.

Help me get this noose off my neck.

What are you doing?

Well, your parents love Richard,

they hate me... My work here is done.

You're not leaving.

Well, you don't need me anymore.

Yeah, I do!

You do?

Gridley...

Just stay. It's a party, okay?

Okay, so let me get this straight.

You want me to be your plus-two now?

Or am I your plus-one

and Richard's your plus-two?

Just stay.

♪ ♪

Josie!

Where are you?

- So you're gonna stay? Okay. - Mm-hmm.

But I'm stickin' with "plus-one."

I was here first.

Thanks for fixing the lights.

♪ ♪

How do ya like that?

It's not here.

Well, it couldn't have just disappeared.

Well, that's it.

- We've looked everywhere. - What's wrong?

Your mother's Faberge egg is missing.

We've combed the room! It's gone.

I hate to be the one to say it,

but I think we all know where it's gone.

What do you mean?

Where's Gridley?

Oh, you're not blaming Gridley?

What do you really know about him, Josie?

Stop it! I've known Gridley my whole life.

It's been a long time since high school.

Gridley is not a thief!

He would never do anything like that!

He doesn't care about an egg.

Do you know how much that egg is worth?

Mother, yes.

We all know.

It'll show up, Claire,

and if it doesn't, we'll get another one.

It's the Chronicle.

Did you take that egg to make him look bad?

No! He's done that all on his own.

- So you didn't take it? - Of course not.

Ready, Mrs. Mayfield?

Welcome to our happy home.

Smile!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Hi, Richard.

Gentlemen! Over here, please?

Oh! Uh...

And can I get your names for the Chronicle?

- I'm... - Richard Wright, of Wright...

Silver, and Gumm.

This is my card.

Uh, Gridley.

Of, um... Well, just Gridley.

Been there.

Haven't we all?

And who are you gentlemen to the family?

I'm Josie Mayfield's boyfriend.

And I'm her...

He's, uh... an acquaintance.

But Josie and I did go to prom together.

Maplewood High.

My alma mater.

You're kidding?

♪ Bear down, Maplewood fight, Leafs, fight! ♪

Roots in the community, enduring friendship...

The Chronicle loves this stuff! Are you from here, too?

Sadly, no.

- But I'm... - Miss Mayfield?

I'd love to get a shot of you

and your old high-school boyfriend.

Oh, no, we only went out the one time,

but it was memorable.

That it was.

Would you mind putting your arm around her?

I think I can do that.

Perfect!

Great. Thank you.

- Honey... oh. - Excuse me.

What are you guys, best friends?

Can you take that around to the back?

Thank you.

Why aren't you socializing?

Because he isn't coming.

Who isn't coming?

Wade.

I invited him to the party.

Well, what do you expect,

with those horrible parents of his?

Well, I like him.

And I thought he was starting to like me, too.

You'll find someone else, come on.

Mom...

What if I don't want to find someone else?

Excuse me?

How about a picture of you two?

Of course.

Could you shoot her from the right, please?

Do you have to control everything that I do?

Somebody has to.

You're right.

Me.

Put your hair behind your...

Look, mom! Mom...

I like the green hair. And I'm keeping it.

Look, I know it doesn't fit into the Mayfield image,

but I don't fit into the Mayfield image!

Mindy... My whole life...

I've been under Josie's shadow,

trying to be who you want me to be!

I'm not Josie, but I am worth something!

And I dropped out of college!

What?

When did this happen?

Two semesters ago.

And where has my tuition been going?

It's in a bank account. You can have it all back.

I have a job...

I'm singing.

In a coffee house.

You can't be serious.

This is who I am!

And who exactly might that be?

Ahem.

♪ Won't... you come home ♪

♪ Bill Bailey? ♪

♪ Won't you come home? ♪

♪ She moans all day long ♪

Look, this really isn't app...

♪ I'll do the cookin', honey ♪

♪ I'll pay the rent ♪

♪ I know that I've... ♪

♪ Done wrong ♪

♪ Remember that rainy evenin' ♪

♪ I kicked you out ♪

♪ With nothin' but a fine-tooth co-o-omb ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ I'm to blame ♪

♪ Ain't that a shame? ♪

♪ Bill Bailey, won't you please come home? ♪

Come on, everybody!

♪ Won't you come home, bill Bailey? ♪

♪ Won't you come home? ♪

♪ She moans the whole night long ♪

♪ I'll do the cookin', honey ♪

♪ I'll pay the rent ♪

♪ I know that I've done wrong ♪

♪ Remember that rainy evening ♪

♪ I kicked you out ♪

♪ With nothing but a fine-tooth comb ♪

♪ I know I'm to blame ♪

♪ Ain't that a shame? ♪

♪ Oh, Bailey won't you please come... ♪

♪ Come on, Bailey, now ♪

♪ Bill Bailey won't you please come home? ♪

♪ Oh, Bailey ♪

♪ Bill Bailey, won't you please come... ♪

♪ Ba-doop boop-a-doop, de-doo ♪

♪ O-o-oh... ♪

Yay!

Yeah, it's Richard.

I need a favor.

I need you to check someone out for me.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Enjoying yourself, granddad.

I noticed people were starting to sweat,

so, finally, I walked into the middle of the room,

and I said, "listen... If you can't take the heat",

get out of the kitchen business."

Dad's telling jokes and mom's laughing.

Who are these people?

Tell me they're not going to turn

back into our parents again.

Hey, do you remember that?

Of course, I remember that!

Do you remember what you were like

when you started the business?

You were so full of ideas!

Mayfield's was your idea.

Oh, no! I may have contributed a bit.

More than a bit!

There would be no Mayfield's,

if it was not for your kitchen.

Thank you.

It was sort of fun back then, wasn't it?

We were a team.

We were.

You know...

Oh, this probably isn't the right moment,

but I have had a thought about the business.

Oh, no. I shouldn't say it.

Of course, you should say it.

Well...

I was thinking about a line of dogware,

for the kitchen... You know, plates,

bowls, et cetera.

Do you remember Prince's favorite bowl?

Didn't he eat that bowl?

Yes! Yes, he did.

And...

Gentlemen, let me introduce you to my daughters...

Josie and Mindy.

- Hi. - How are you?

How do you do? And how's business, Joseph?

Oh, could be better, right, Josie?

Oh, it could be worse. We're certainly not shrinking.

The fact is, is that we're not growing,

and, actually, Claire just had a very interesting idea.

I think that Mayfield's

is going to introduce a line of dogware.

A canine line!

Oh, mom, I love it! It's great!

And why don't we do a line for cats as well?

Smiles, please?

Great! I've got everything I need,

so you enjoy the rest of your evening.

No! We were just about to cut the cake.

I'll take care of it, Mrs. M.

Twist my arm.

♪ ♪

To Mr. and Mrs. M...

Still together, after all these years.

The tide may have taken you here or there,

but true love...

Like driftwood,

reinvents itself and stands the test of time.

♪ ♪

To love.

May it always find its way.

Well, that is certainly...

Fantastic!

Yes. It is.

I love that!

Did you make this?

Uh, well, I...

Uh, she did!

It's not what she normally makes,

but this time,

she decided to try something a little different.

It's incredible, Mrs. Mayfield.

Thank you.

I'd love to get some shots of the family with the cake.

Smiles, everyone.

What's that shiny thing over there?

Oh! Uh, this is a, uh, Jura Impressa coffee machine.

This is imported from Switzerland.

Yeah, I'm getting a reflection from that.

Do you think we could, uh, move it somewhere?

Preferably out of the room.

Oh. Not a problem.

Could you grab that?

Yeah.

Smiles, everyone!

Beautiful...

What a cake.

What's it made of?

That's my little secret.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Cake?

Oh, thank you.

It's delicious, Mrs. Mayfield.

Thank you, dear.

What is that taste? It's so familiar.

It really is good, isn't it?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

I need to know.

What's in the cake?

What's in the cake?

It's incredible!

Oh, my!

I don't believe it.

We made the front page.

Congratulations, dear.

Oh!

When the Wilsons were in, they only got page 9.

Oh! Listen to this.

"To my great relief,"

the Mayfield house was not

yet another picture-perfect postcard...

Instead it was a delightful combination

of whimsy, warmth and fun.

Claire Mayfield has created a true home,

"and an anniversary cake made of Twinkies..."

Twinkies?

I knew that tasted familiar!

Oh!

Congratulations on the Chronicle,

after waiting all these years.

Yes, and the cover too.

I'm sorry. What page was your little story on again?

You know, we're so proud of our Wade.

It'll be so nice to have another doctor in the family.

Perhaps he'll specialize in plastic surgery.

And what are your daughters doing nowadays?

You know, I'm so glad you asked.

Josie is still in wooden spoons,

and Mindy...

She sings in a coffeehouse.

Oh, dear.

She's very good.

In fact, we couldn't be prouder.

Enjoy your day.

Good grief, that woman is a snob.

You know what's funny?

I wanted this party

so I could get in the Chronicle.

I guess I was so caught up

in appearances

because they're all I have.

That's not true.

It is.

The girls are grown.

You and I... We've drifted,

like a piece of that wood.

I mean, until last night,

I'd forgotten what it was like

to have you listen to me.

I like being a team again.

So do I.

And suddenly...

Our anniversary means so much more to me

than any newspaper.

♪ ♪

Here it is!

So?

Better than I even imagined.

Oh, mom, I'm so excited for you.

Thank you, dear.

- Oh, my. - Wow!

- Where's granddad? - Oh, he went for a walk.

- All by himself? - Oh, don't worry, Mrs. M.

He's been around the block a few times.

Well, that's true.

Nonfat latte, Mr. Mayfield?

Thank you, Richard.

Gridley?

I thought you might be able to use this for your vehicle.

Extra virgin olive oil?

This is the good stuff!

Of course! We are Mayfields, after all.

I can get an extra five miles to the gallon with this.

Thank you. I'll put it by my bag.

You're welcome.

You know, I was, uh...

I was thinking about your driftwood.

Now, we normally go with acacia on our salad bowls,

but I wouldn't mind mixing things up a bit.

Now, I know you're not exactly a corporate guy,

although you did look good in my suit.

Can't argue with that!

Why don't you pop by the office

and we'll discuss some ideas?

Your schedule permitting.

My schedule? Um...

Yep, I'm wide open at the moment.

Sorry to interrupt, but that's not exactly true...

Is it, Gridley?

Something on your mind, dick?

Actually, there is.

Just wondering why you're leaving next week

on a one-way ticket?

Puerto Rico this time, is it?

What's going on?

I made a few calls and I'm glad I did.

This guy moves every six months.

Obviously, he's running from something.

Richard, why are you doing this?

I'm just trying to protect you, Josie.

And your family.

Okay, but just so you know,

Gridley is going to Puerto Rico

because it's a place he's never been before,

and a friend invited him to crew on a boat.

You knew?

Of course I knew!

I mean, it's just Gridley being Gridley.

No.

Josie... um...

Mr. Wright here is right.

I haven't been completely honest.

Mr. and Mrs. M,

I have some confessions to make.

Um...

Number one,

I TP'd your house in 12th grade.

It was a brilliant job, but I feel bad nonetheless.

Number two...

I do move around a lot.

I've never stayed anywhere for very long

because I never really had a reason to.

But I think I might have a reason now.

Here you are.

And three...

I still have feelings for your daughter, sir.

Josie, I...

My egg!

Oh...

Oh, no.

And I was just starting to like you.

I have no idea how that got in there.

This is... This is just disappointing.

Mrs. M, I didn't... I didn't take your egg.

I don't even like eggs.

Well, I'm sure there's an explanation.

Isn't there?

Probably.

I don't have one.

Look, I am a lot of things that you don't approve of,

but I am not a thief.

I think I should go.

Aw, Rex. You're a good boy, hey?

Go to Mrs. M.

♪ ♪

Oh, Rex.

Gridley!

I know you didn't take the egg.

Thank you.

Um... look, about what I said in there,

I shouldn't have put you on the spot like that,

but I meant every word.

I don't know.

I just... I don't know.

Oh, hey. Hey, don't.

Don't. It's okay.

What did I expect? I mean, this wasn't the plan.

Everything worked out the way it was supposed to.

I just want you to be happy.

♪ ♪

Well, this brunch is excellent.

Thank you, Richard.

Mr. Mayfield,

if you have a moment before we leave,

um, I'd love to talk with you about my client.

Well, how about right now?

Great! Because this guy is perfect for your foreign sales.

He's an international marketing genius

and he speaks Mandarin.

Mandarin?

What is it?

Well, I was just thinking of Gridley's van

running on Chinese food.

Do you know how hungry I was,

driving up in that thing?

All I could think about was beef and broccoli.

I would kill for some orange chicken right now.

Kung pao shrimp!

Moo goo gai pan!

I just can't believe he was gonna steal my egg.

Mother, he wasn't gonna steal your egg. We've been over this.

- I know, but... - Claire.

Forget the egg.

How can I?

Because...

Because it's a fake.

What?

I couldn't afford to buy you a real one back then.

I was just trying to impress you,

and I know you were disappointed on our first anniversary.

I wasn't disappointed.

But it was only a rose.

♪ ♪

I've kept that rose for 39 years.

♪ ♪

Alright. Ahem.

Here we go.

My signature Dulce de Leche cake?

From a bakery.

Never made it. Not even once.

I never liked that cake.

Neither did I.

Oh, Josie, I have some news for you.

I believe your mother's is gonna be returning to the company.

Oh, mom!

Mom, that's... I mean, it's perfect.

It's perfect!

You can have my office!

You can redecorate, you can do anything you want!

I don't understand.

I will always be your little girl,

but...

You've laid my whole life out for me.

Daddy, I don't care about tea caddies

or mixing bowls... I don't cook!

It's like I woke up one day and I was in my 30s,

and I can't even take a walk without mapquesting.

What are you saying, then? Are you quitting?

I just think I definitely need some time to figure things out.

Isn't this a bit sudden?

Actually, I think it's very long overdue.

Well, maybe you're right.

Maybe you're right.

We trust your decisions.

If you and Richard want to be together,

it's with our blessing.

Oh! Honey... Isn't that great?

And we trust your decisions, too, Mindy.

Even if they involve green hair.

I don't know what to say.

Me either.

What if we say it's about time?

Well, uh...

Wade's coming to hear me sing next week.

Maybe you guys could come, too?

We'd love to.

Wouldn't we, Joe?

You haven't called me "Joe" in ages!

Hey! That's... That's my watch.

Rex!

♪ ♪

Oh, Rex.

What did you do?

Oh, Rex!

Well...

There's your thief.

So, Gridley was telling the truth?

Excuse me.

♪ ♪

You know, if this client works out,

I've got another one in distribution.

He's a genius.

Why don't we just stick with the one for now?

Yeah.

So... what now?

What do you mean?

Josie...

You've been bringing guys home like Richard for years,

and just using dad's disapproval as an excuse to say goodbye.

That's not true.

Okay. Well... It just seems to me

that if you ever really liked any of them,

you'd have fought for them.

Okay. I'll, uh, I'll talk to her,

and I'll call you right back.

Hi. Babe, I just got off the phone

with my guy at R&L.

I think I can get you a job,

but I have to act fast.

Richard...

I can't.

You don't... You don't want the job?

No. Okay.

You and I don't make sense.

Maybe we do on paper,

I'm just...

I'm so sorry.

I don't...

I don't understand.

Well, that's the problem.

Is this about your little high-school sweetheart?

You can't be serious about Gridley!

I mean, the guy is a complete loser.

No, he's not.

And I let him walk away once before...

I can't do it again.

Take my car.

Jo...

Josie!

You're going after Gridley!

Oh!

You go, girl.

What?

I knew it!

Dad!

Huh?

Oh!

I-I...

Guess I have some explaining to do.

You certainly do!

How long have you been able to speak?

I don't care! Oh... dad.

Oh!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Bet you regret tearing up that ticket.

I didn't really think it all the way through.

This weekend didn't turn out

like I thought it would.

Nothing ever does.

I have a confession to make, too.

What kind of confession?

I don't want Mr. Right.

- No? - I want Mr. Wrong.

Mr. Totally Wrong.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪