Original subtitles

"The skull was placed on a plate"

"and given to a girl,"

"who then presented it to her mother."

"Void of expression, the executioner stood there"

"with a bloodstained long sword in his hand."

"She is a real woman."

"She has a burning passion…"

"within her cold exterior."

"That is her personality."

"A Rebours", by Huysmans

(Strange Circus)

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the circus.

Thank you all for coming.

We have a great show for you today.

Please…enjoy.

I'll be your host tonight.

My name is Black Shadow.

I'm also known as Sad Song.

I'll try to be a good host,

so please stay until the end.

Now…

Let's get this started.

Do you want to die?

Or do you want to live?

Well, let's all have fun and feel alive.

C'mon. Rock'n'roll.

Now, here's our first act of the day.

Is there anyone in the audience…

who would like to be guillotined?

Is there anyone?

You?

You?

You there.

Afraid to die?

I was sentenced to death at birth.

Or maybe my mother was to be executed,

and we switched places.

There were guillotines everywhere in our house.

As far back as I can remember,

I've been surrounded by traps.

What's wrong?

One wrong move, and I'm gone.

Everyone, please be careful.

If you're not, it'll be dangerous.

No playing with fire, OK?

OK…

If you speak, you may accindentally blow out the flame.

You have to be quiet, OK?

Now, ignite.

Mitsuko Ozawa in grade 6, class 3.

Report to the principal's office.

Mitsuko Ozawa?

Mitsuko.

Yes.

Come in.

Come here.

Closer.

Closer.

What's wrong?

Good girl, why did your grades drop?

I'm sorry.

Don't embarrass me.

Sorry.

You made Mom cry.

Yes.

Who am I…?

Who? -Dad.

Repeat. -Dad.

Am I a man or a woman?

Am I a man or a woman?

Man. -Correct.

Who are you…? -I'm Mitsuko…

Who are you, Mitsuko?

I'm a man. Tell me what you are, Mitsuko.

Are you a boy or a girl?

Girl.

Correct.

You'll get full score next time. -Yes.

Sit.

This is accordion music recorded in 1938.

It's interesting.

Look.

When Dad first molested me,

it was the beginning of the end.

I was 12.

Mom and I looked exactly alike.

I was her, and she was me.

Mom used to be nice.

You look just like me.

One day, you'll look great in this,

'cause you're my daughter.

See, it suits you.

One day you'll grow as tall as me.

I'll give you all my clothes then.

They'll all be yours.

So pretty.

Come here, Mitsuko.

This is a cello case.

I modified it a little bit, you see?

Let's do something fun.

You get in the case and look through this hole.

It's fun.

Come on. Get in.

Now. Get it.

Good girl.

What is that? -That's nothing.

Bothers me.

That's nothing. -I feel we're being watched…

When Mom and Dad had sex, they made me watch.

Felt like I was having sex.

I can't…

Coming…

Whenever I closed my eyes,

I would hear a squeaking sound.

What's that noise?

(Morning Assembly)

Good morning, students.

How are you all doing today?

It's such a beautiful day.

Sunshine, not a cloud in sight.

And so should it be in your hearts.

Sunshine in our hearts, that is what we need.

You need sunshine and blue skies in your hearts.

That's how we must live.

Dad often talked about what was good for us.

So I figured whatever he did was good for me.

I'm home.

Mitsuko?

Honey?

Mitsuko…?

Honey?

Mitsuko?

Honey? Mitsuko?

Heard it.

Heard it again.

Dad touched both Mom and me.

The only difference between us

was that she seemed happy.

But her joy was infectious.

It was a trap.

Sayuri.

She's been watching us.

Bad girl.

Look what you did to her, Mitsuko.

Now, it's your turn.

You get in the case this time, Sayuri.

I lied down and became Mom.

When Dad touched me, Mom watched.

I was Mom and Mom was me.

I was convinced.

Dad touched me, and I became Mom.

And I even began to enjoy sex.

Cause I was Mom.

Look.

They look good on you.

Go ask Mom what she thinks.

Go.

Run along.

I was sentenced to death at birth.

Or maybe my mother was to be executed,

and we switched places.

There were guillotines everywhere in our house.

As far back as I can remember,

I've been surrounded by traps.

One wrong move, and I'm gone.

Those are my…

What are you doing?

What do you think you're doing?

Take them off. What are you doing?

Take them off. What do you think you're doing?

You. -Honey.

Put the knife down, you crazy bitch.

Bitch.

Heard it again.

Mom.

You thief.

When Dad was away, Mom became abusive.

Get back here.

Come here.

Come here.

Get up.

Who gave you this hickey?

Answer me…

Whenever we were alone, she'd try to kill me.

She was jealous of me.

Mom.

My earring…

That day…

Mitsuko…

You hid it. -I would rather forget.

It must be you.

Give me back my earring. -It wasn't me.

Get back here. -Mom, I didn't take it.

Who else could it be?

Get back here, stop running.

Wait.

Stop.

My goddamn earring.

Where the hell is it…? -Don't know…

Give it back.

Find it. -Yes.

If you find my earring, please let me know.

I will. I promise.

Thanks.

Sorry.

When Mom died, she resembled me.

Me at age 12.

That day, I turned into Mom at age 35.

Lying in her coffin, she was me at 12.

She looked so serene. Just like an innocent child.

I killed her.

Just you and me now.

Help…

Mitsuko.

Call me Sayuri.

Just the two of us now.

What, Mitsuko?

Honey, I am Sayuri.

Mitsuko.

When the hearse left, I was no longer a child.

I carried my satchel and went to school.

I was 35 years old.

I was her.

My mother. -I love you…

(I love you…) I love you…

Does anyone know what this means?

I know. -Mitsuko?

Love lasts forever.

(Love)

What's over there, Mom?

The guillotine… where we die.

Show time.

Mitsuko.

It's okay now.

Your dad's here.

Could you give us a moment alone?

Please take care.

Did you tell anyone, Mitsuko?

You know, about what happened.

Please keep it our secret, OK?

I found out the hard way.

You love and care for your children,

but it's never enough.

In order to truly understand them,

you must communicate with them,

and also build relationships.

With love, care, and careful observation.

That's what we must do.

Get out.

Mirror, mirror on the wall…

Who's the fairest of them all?

Mom.

When the hearse left…

I was no longer a child…

I carried my satchel…

And went to school…

I was 35 years old…

Need a lunch break?

Hold it.

Sorry, I need to use the bathroom.

There. -Sorry.

(Mitsuko…)

Stay inside.

Sorry…

Yes, this is wonderful.

It's really gripping and mesmerizing.

"I was sentenced to death at birth."

"Or maybe my mother was to be executed,"

"and we switched places."

Brilliant.

I don't need your opinion.

What do you think?

Is he new?

No, he's the one I mentioned before.

He requested to be assigned to you.

Is that right?

Read it.

Go ahead.

Yes. With pleasure.

You don't like it?

All your novels are brilliant.

Distracted?

I'm fine.

Rookie, you wanted to work with me?

I'm your fan.

Please keep reading.

Yes.

Taeko?

Yes.

Can I ask you something?

Just a sec.

Let me…

Don't.

Yes.

I wonder why she likes you.

Good luck with… you know.

What?

Well…

You know.

I don't.

Is this why she likes him?

I guess that's it.

'Cause you seem asexual.

What?

You want to fuck her or what?

It's not like that.

Doesn't matter as long as she writes good stuff.

By the way, I fucked that freak.

These guys did too.

We all fucked her.

But we're done.

She devoured us and then vomited us.

We're her vomit now.

But you're still fresh meat.

Be careful, fresh meat.

Her wheelchair squeaks when you fuck her.

It's so erotic.

But no one knows who she really is.

Not that anyone cares,

but maybe you can find out what she's all about.

Like, why she always writes about "Mitsuko."

What were you talking about? -Nothing.

You can go now.

Let's go.

Yessir…

The rookie stays.

Yuji, I'll leave the rest to you.

Taeko? -Yes?

I have a question.

Shoot.

Is this book autobiographical?

No way.

I'm in a wheelchair,

but my father never molested me.

I want to go out for a walk.

I go for a walk after I'm done writing everyday.

Alright?

Walk?

Yeah.

OK. -OK.

You know, you sound like a robot.

Can I call you "Robo"?

OK.

That's so lovely.

Yeah.

I wanna walk.

Meaning?

Take a train.

I envy them.

Let me help. -No, that's fine.

Thanks.

Sure?

Do your best, Robo.

Yes.

Robo…

See that case?

I wrote about that.

Right.

In school, I was in the orchestra.

Yeah?

I was a xylophonist. Always on my feet.

I see.

Should've played the cello. That way I can sit.

I guess.

Pretty windy today.

It's no big deal, Robo.

Aren't you cold?

Even if I were, I wouldn't admit it.

I won't lose.

Right here.

Here?

Even I want to be alone sometimes.

The deadline is next week?

I'll finish it on time.

Please do.

By the way, this is the music I wrote about.

Accordion music recorded in 1938.

Listen to it.

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

Bye.

I'm home.

What do you want for dinner?

Hungry?

You've been good, I'll make something simple.

A nameless dog has come to take me away.

A nameless dog has come to devour me.

(Taeko Mitsuzawa fair) Look…

This author is crazy. -Especially her latest.

"Taeko Mitsuzawa fair,"

"experience Mitsuko's life."

Ever wonder why there's never a picture of her?

She's probably ashamed.

You can only write this anonymously.

You think?

I hear she's handicapped…

and that she has sexual dysfunction.

You think she's sexually frustrated?

That she can't have sex because of her legs?

Don't underestimate disabled people.

Welcome.

Is Saya here? -She is. This way please.

Mr Editor. -Long time no see.

Mr Editor. -Love ya, sisters.

Over there.

Welcome.

Sit… -Thanks.

This is Yuji. He's new.

Cute.

Real cute.

He's asexual, stop teasing him.

Really?

No.

Oh yeah? Did she fuck you?

Who?

You must know, novelist Taeko Mitsuzawa.

I love her. -Me too.

See, Yuji? Women love that crazy sex stuff.

You pervert.

You work with her?

Say something.

Yeah, he requested to be assigned to that freak.

Really?

I'm her fan.

Finally, he speaks.

I'll tell you something interesting.

Switch seats with me.

The thing is, she's not really handicapped.

Tell no one.

Also, I know where she lives.

You see her in Aobadai, right?

But she lives nowhere near there.

Another thing: she is mentally ill.

She's seeing a shrink.

You think you can find out more about her?

The guys in our magazine division…

want to do an exposé on her.

The unpopular division needs this.

Please, I'll take care of expenses.

OK.

You'll do it?

Great.

Let's drink.

Suddenly, you're ready to party.

My dick is always ready.

You pervert.

Let's drink.

To Yuji…

To Yuji…

Cheers. -Cheers…

What were you talking about?

Trade secrets, stop asking.

Stop asking.

Thanks for your hard work. -Thanks…

Thank you.

Are you OK?

Hello there.

I have to pee.

I have to pee.

I have to pee.

Mom used to tell me…

I'd look like her when I grew up.

I remember that.

But I don't look like her anymore.

So good.

Daddy…

Daddy…

I have to pee.

I have to pee.

I have to pee.

I have to pee.

I have to pee…

Goddamn it.

Give me that knife…

Give it here.

Mitsuko.

"Depersonaliztion"

This is Tamiya.

Hey, it's me. About what I asked you to do…

It's fine.

I'll do it.

Yeah?

I appreciate it. Expenses covered, OK?

OK, see you tomorrow.

Good night.

Tonight, I'd like to introduce you to someone new.

Name please?

My name is Yuji Tamiya.

Yuji…

Yuji…

Let's tell Yuji why we have modified our bodies.

Let's tell him.

I hated my nipples. Ugly and unnecessary.

Let cells live.

Liberation.

Scars are cute.

To control my body.

Be a mannequin.

I slit my wrists.

But now I know it's OK to show my scars.

Scars are flowers.

Flowers…

What about Yuji?

What about you, Yuji?

My body is a vase.

My heart is a flower.

I wanted my body to match it.

Let's give Yuji a warm welcome.

Are you wearing the same pants? -Stop it.

I've told you not to do that.

You bought me those panties.

But this one's the trickiest to take off.

Hey, you're up.

Go to school sometime, Mitsuko.

Leave her alone.

But she's annoying.

Mom.

I found it, Mom.

Mom.

I found it, Mom.

I found it, Mom.

Found it, right here.

Blabbering again.

What did you find?

Mom…

What's that?

Mom…

This?

What's this?

Sayuri's earring.

Daddy's former wife's?

This sucks.

That…

Want it?

No matter what?

Give it back.

No.

Give it back. -No.

I'll shit it out.

Not again.

Get in.

It's OK. Get in.

Finished.

Finished…

Finished…

Mitsuko…

Finished. Mitsuko.

Robo?

Yes?

Ever think maybe this isn't reality?

And what I write is more real?

Right now, this is just a dream?

Mitsuko's imagination.

That's a pretty interesting idea.

I need to take a break. Let's go somewhere.

OK. -OK.

Let's get off here.

OK. -OK.

Hey, what if I could walk?

You asked if I was writing about me.

Let's say I am.

My dad raped me,

and I was destroyed mentally and physically.

I'm in a wheelchair to convey that.

I see.

I've heard that. -What?

I have a friend.

A woman who was raped by her own father.

She said the same thing.

Said what?

That, after she was raped,

she felt like her limbs had been removed.

Like her arms and legs had been chopped off.

A rape victim feels like an amputee?

Limbless and unable to move.

Good, I think I'll use that in my book.

Why don't I make Mitsuko an amputee at the end?

Sounds good.

Let's make Gozo an amputee too.

Good idea.

Robo…

Look.

I wrote about that.

Right.

I was in the school orchestra.

Yeah?

I was a xylophonist. Always on my feet.

I see.

Should've played the cello. That way I can sit.

Bad dream?

What time is it? Why am I here?

You said you wanted to stay here.

I did?

No more sleep. Let's go outside.

How beautiful. -A lot of shops here.

Hold on.

This swimsuit is lovely.

Go get it for me.

It's not summer yet, and…

And what?

Fine.

Hurry, Robo.

Welcome.

Excuse me…

Are you OK…?

What is it? Are you OK?

What'd you do? -Excuse me.

Where's the bathroom?

Just ask the bellhop. -Yeah, but…

Go away.

Please leave. -Sorry.

Taeko…

What's wrong?

It's me.

You bought it?

Yes. -Yeah?

I wanna wear it.

I wanna put on the swimsuit.

Now?

Help me, Robo.

But…

It's OK. You have no sexual feelings, right?

So, nothing will happen.

You were cool earlier.

What?

You yelled at that creep.

You made me do that. Poor guy.

He was just a guest at the hotel.

He was definitely a creep.

Only creeps carry such big cases.

So?

Meaning?

How do I look?

Beautiful.

Really?

I want to take a nap for 30 minutes.

OK. -OK.

Good night.

Robo…?

Sorry, I fell asleep.

It's OK, let's go home.

OK.

Done.

Hungry?

I'm working on a new book now.

Read it when it's done.

And I'll introduce you to Yuji.

He's a nice boy.

Hello.

Hello.

It's me, Yuji.

Sorry.

There seems to be…

a page missing from the manuscript.

Can I come pick it up right now?

How about tomorrow?

My boss says he needs it tonight.

I'll meet you where we just parted.

Fine. Give me 30 minutes.

I'm really sorry.

A nameless dog has come to take me away.

A nameless dog has come to devour me.

A nameless me has come to see me.

A nameless dog has come to take me away.

Been a while, huh?

Hello?

Hey.

Where are you?

I have your pet with me.

I'm on my way to your parents' house.

Robo?

Get there quickly…

Or else who knows what will happen to your pet.

Robo…?

Hello?

Robo?

I'm here, Robo.

Robo.

Robo.

Robo…

Robo…

Yuji.

Robo.

Who are you?

Don't look at me like that.

Fuck your wheelchair.

Who are you?

Still don't recall?

Who are you?

Who are you?

No, who are you?

You still don't remember who you are.

Me?

Mitsuko?

Am I?

Am I Mitsuko?

Yes, I'm Mitsuko. I just remembered that.

And you are?

Reveal yourself.

What are you talking about, Mother?

Mother?

Don't you recognize my face?

No, I don't.

That sucks.

In any case, this is how the book should end.

Taeko finally realizes she's actually Mitsuko.

Now, let's get back to work.

And finish this before we forget, Mother.

Mother?

Get up.

Or do you need your wheelchair?

Mother…

Sit.

Help me, Robo.

You really do look like me.

Let's go to Gozo's bedroom.

It'll put you in the mood to write.

What?

I was raped.

You were raped? Here?

Look, it's all ready for you.

See anything?

That.

That's the main dish, Mother.

Now, we should go over what you've written so far.

Let's review the story of you and me… and him.

"I was sentenced to death at birth."

"Or maybe my mother was to be executed,"

"and we switched places."

It's a good opening paragraph, Taeko.

This is brilliant, Taeko.

I mean… Mother.

"There were guillotines everywhere in our house."

"As far back as I can remember,"

"I've been surrounded by traps."

"One wrong move, and I'm gone."

"When Dad first molested me,"

"it was the beginning of the end."

"I was 12."

"Mom and I looked exactly alike."

"I was her, and she was me."

Yeah, you really do look like me.

You look just like me.

"Dad touched both Mom and me."

"When Mom and Dad had sex, they made me watch."

"I felt like I was having sex."

That's right, Mother.

I had to watch you two fuck like animals.

You and this rotten pig.

Hey, you…

You hear me?

Taeko.

Sorry.

Or should I call you Mitsuko?

Now, the next part is strange, so very strange.

It's a bunch of crap, Mother.

You wrote…

"When Dad touched me, Mom watched."

"The difference between us…"

"was that she seemed happy."

"But her joy was infectious."

"It was a trap."

A bunch of bullshit, Mother.

You were the only one who enjoyed it.

You like this?

I am not you. You are not me.

Mother.

Mother.

Do you not recognize my face?

"I was Mom and Mom was me."

"I was convinced."

"Dad touched me, and I became Mom."

"And I even began to enjoy sex."

"Because I was Mom."

This is laughable.

Ridiculous.

Seriously.

"Mom died when I was in 6th grade."

"I stood by her coffin and cried."

"Lying in her coffin, she was me at 12."

"She looked so serene. Like an innocent child."

"I killed her."

"Whenever Dad was away,"

"Mom would try to drown me in the bathtub."

"She had been jealous of me."

You were fucking evil, Sayuri.

Sayuri?

Still playing dumb?

That?

I worked very hard for tonight.

What's that? What are you saying?

What?

I can't hear you, what is it?

"Sayuri, do something about this freak."

How mean.

First, Sayuri, I must do something about you.

Look.

This staircase.

My earring…

Mitsuko…

You hid my earring. -I didn't.

I know you did.

Give it back to me. -It wasn't me.

You thief.

Stop.

Stop right there. -Mom, I didn't take it.

Who else could it be?

Get back here, you thief.

Mitsuko.

Give me back my goddamn earring.

Remember?

Mitsuko died…

Mitsuko died?

Funeral…

There was no funeral. Mitsuko did not die.

After that day, you never left the house.

Meanwhile, I was sent to a foster family.

I came back repeatedly to see you.

You were writing "letters of apology."

(It's all my fault, I lost the earring.)

But you wrote them from the perspective of…

A child who killed her mother.

Just like what you're doing now.

You were in complete denial.

Jealousy over sex, wanting to kill your own child.

All these emotions buried deep inside.

You convinced yourself that you had died.

You became a recluse and started writing stories.

But didn't you show up at school one time?

Wearing Mitsuko's name tag?

Disgusting.

Good morning.

Shut up. -Come here.

What the…?

Daddy.

Anyway, you never recovered.

You've been living as Mitsuko.

Because you couldn't deal with yourself.

Even so, Sayuri didn't want to disappear.

Sayuri is sick, twisted, and cunning.

So you continued to have sex with Gozo.

All the while pretending to be Mitsuko,

playing nasty sex games with Gozo.

Daddy…

How is it…? -Daddy.

Is Daddy good? -Yes.

(Grade 6 Class 3, Mitsuko Ozawa)

But eventually, he found another woman.

So you just stayed in your room all the time,

writing as Mitsuko.

You were lonely, right?

I understand.

Daddy…

Hey, you, stop staring. -Daddy…

Wanna join us?

How do you like this?

It hurts…

Sayuri, I'm hurt… -Are you in pain, Daddy?

Sayuri, it hurts…

(Taeko Mitsuzawa) Taeko.

Done.

Look, Dad.

Just finished writing a novel.

See?

You don't want me to use my real name, right?

So I changed my name to Taeko.

See?

Look at it.

Are you happy now?

By the way, I have something better, Dad.

Just a sec.

Get in this case.

I went to such trouble to get close to you.

I managed to get this job, and I finally got here.

I've been waiting for you to write about our past.

For so long.

Enough.

It's over.

It's all over.

Mother.

Mitsuko.

I'm sorry.

I don't want your tears.

Have you any idea how long I've waited for this?

You tried to kill me over just one earring.

That's all.

What started with that sin…

It all ends today.

Be Sayuri.

Mitsuko…

And then I'll be free.

You said that at the end of the novel,

you'd make the protagonist an amputee, right?

Let me help you with that.

What was that?

I…

You'll catch a cold like that.

Give me my robe.

Alright.

Help me up, I have to pee.

Help me up to my wheelchair.

What are you waiting for? Hurry up.

What?

I can't walk.

What wheelchair?

What the hell is wrong with you? -What?

Is this a joke?

What's wrong with you, asking for a wheelchair?

You knew?

What?

You've seen me walk. Is that it?

You're nuts.

You can walk. You always do walk.

No…

What's real and what's not?

Thank you for being with us.

And now, everyone, our last act for tonight.

Hang in there, Sayuri.