Original subtitles

... was selected king, 1958.

Today is the day they run in Rome.

You're listening to K-LOST, home of the apocalypse.

The call-in question of the day is

who will be the new King?

I'm sending in an ICBM across the wasteland

for all of you on the yellow brick road to Vegas

looking for a hero.

If you find one, send him my way, baby.

David.

What?

Float away, little butterfly, just flutter away.

I got a gig in Vegas.

And the wastelands ain't no place for kids.

You still there?

Cross that line, kid,

I'll cut your little teddy bear in half

Last kid that crossed that line,

had to summon up the spinach monster

with my rock and roll magic.

Spinach monster grabbed him, pulled him underground,

made him eat spinach all day.

Rumor has it, kid.

He's still there.

All right boys, we Kill him now or later?

Kill him now.

Later?

No, we'd better wait till he's drunk.

Nice shoes.

Don't touch my guitar, man.

Don't even touch my guitar.

Hollow body six-string 1957.

A good year.

See those cats over there?

Those cats are king material.

Going all the way to Vegas

The only one going to Vegas around here is me.

I know your type, buddy.

You ain't going to Vegas

Where you go, death follows like a blown out '52 Plymouth

Top Hat's put a big price on that guitar, Buddy.

But maybe you give it to us.

We forget we ever saw you.

Come on guys, pulling night isn't till Tuesday.

Who are you fooling?

Maybe you were good once.

What are you looking at?

But now, everybody knows you're just a washed up rocker,

who can't tell a six-string from a shot glass.

You're probably not even worth killing.

But maybe we kill you anyway.

Nice tuxedo.

Nice tuxedo to die in.

Nobody messes with the Pinpals

and gets away with it, nobody.

Yeah, nobody.

Pick up the spare.

Should've waited till I was drunk, Gutterball.

I don't think he's drunk yet.

Nice car.

Thanks.

Tag, you're it.

You gotta be kidding me?

Well, what are you waiting for?

Damn.

Guess it's not my day.

You're it.

Beware of the Spinach Monster.

See you in hell, boy.

It was him.

He was here.

They were my best bowlers.

The one with the four eyes will be hard to defeat.

What's the matter, comrade Death?

You.

I asked you to Kill one simple guitarist,

and what do I get?

Dead bald guys.

You four have failed me for the last...

Nice shoes.

Another caller, can you dig it?

We're rockin'n'rollin ourselves to death.

Yeah, Werewolf?

I just saw Death and he's looking for your number.

Well you just tell that dark ugly dude

that my number is 555, baby.

Not bad.

Thanks for the ride, kid.

Here we go, you're on the air with the Werewolf.

The topic is...

Who will be the next king of rock'n'roll?

Swell.

Listen up baby for a word from our sponsors.

Are you a busy rock warrior?

Are you constantly plagued by small annoying animals

on the path to Vegas?

Call us to round up all your stray cats,

dogs and other furry creatures.

Can you dig it?

Sounds like we need a ratchet, stray cat.

Four.

Why, Harriet Look who's come to dinner

Why, it's Wally Fishbinder.

and his little boy Jed.

How the hell are you boy?

So I suppose you don't have a ratchet in that bag, right?

How the hell are you boy?

You've finished paying off that new Plymouth of yours?

I tell ya, I sure hope to hell

you didn't go to one of those boys on the lot.

They see you coming a mile away, ready to eat you alive.

Those Plymouth dealers will tell you

they're cutting you a break,

when all they're doing is just fattening you up

for the slaughter.

All little Rusty can talk about

is riding in the Fishbinder's new Studebaker.

Oh my, Jeddy, you're just a little weed is what you are.

You're just getting plumpier every time we see you.

Come up here sweetie.

You ever try a pink golf ball Wally?

Why, the wind shear alone on a pink golf ball

can take the head clean off a 90 pound midget

at over 300 yards.

So, you don't have a ratchet.

Can I get you anything?

Some coffee?

Would you like some candy?

Here, would you like some candy?

Can I get you anything at all?

Here, have some candy.

Don't you think this is a nice family, kid?

Look, they're a little strange

but they're better than what's outside.

Hey, Rusty's been looking for a new third base man.

You play, Jed?

Have some candy.

Here you are.

It'll put some meat on your bones, slugger.

Bye Bye

Bye Bye.

Bye bye.

He looks nice and marinated, dear.

Slice me off a thigh, honey bunch.

Windmill people.

I hate those guys.

Phooey, no breakfast again.

Aha Ratchet.

Nice kitty.

Hurry daddy, the wind's picking up.

Hurry daddy, they're getting closer

Hurry home Jed, or you'll be late for school.

Watch your back Buddy, there's a storm coming in.

What are you looking at?

You look up at the sky, you look down at the ground,

but you don't look at me kid, got it?

And don't think this means we're still together kid,

cause we're not.

Who you be

tell me about the new king.

This is Death.

Hello, I'd like to make a dedication, please?

Yeah, yeah, go ahead baby, you're connected with the Wolf

To all the rock'n'rollers out there

whose guitar picks shall litter my path to Vegas

to claim my throne.

Soon, Vegas will be destroyed,

and a new song of darkness will fill the airwaves.

Hello?

Yeah, let me blag this one out

for the duke of the dark side.

Watch out all you rock 'n roll mortals,

Death is on the line.

You got me trembling baby.

Dropped something?

Wonder where I could trade the kid for a ratchet.

What?

What?

What, kid?

Listen up callers, if you're still out there

on the road to Vegas,

you better get your butt in gear before it disappears,

cause Vegas is still looking for the king.

Well good luck, baby, cause you're gonna need it

If you're not fully stocked on your guitar strings,

ratchets and other valuable things,

take a ride out down to little man's warehouse.

He's got everything from plutonium to toilet water...

Located in the town of Fallout, 200 miles from Vegas.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Arrival

Arrival.

New arrival

Arrival.

New arrival.

Got a ratchet, little man?

Ain't no more ratchets here, homie.

Only paradise, you got a problem?

I don't wanna rumble with you, little man.

I just want to drink off that nasty ass

toilet water you're trying to sell.

Man, you didn't come out here for toilet water.

Good point.

How are you with kids?

Terrible.

Great, you're hired.

Now, where can I get a real drink?

Follow the yellow brick road, homie.

See you around, kid.

I got a gig in Vegas.

Do you think it'll be better in Vegas?

All the same, wherever you go,

it'll always be the same.

So, heard everybody's after that guitar of yours.

What's it worth these days?

Free and a box of Crackerjacks?

Prom tickets?

A trip to Disneyland?

A hundred bucks?

You know, we don't get too many new guys around here.

A lot of King wannabees, on their way to Vegas.

Of course, not you.

You're the king, yeah

Exit, stage left.

Do you know who I am?

No.

Buddy, Death.

Well, what do you know, it talks.

Wait a minute.

What's the rush?

Let's savor this rare moment, kid.

Hey, four eyes.

They say you can kill 200 men and play a mean six-string

at the same time.

Is that really true?

Hey, I'm talking to you, old man.

What's the matter?

You scared?

You don't wanna be like me, kid.

Go home, start a family, get a picket fence.

And get a real guitar.

Stop playing around.

Now I know how to defeat the four eyed one.

His heart is his weakness.

The boy.

The boy.

The boy makes him very uncool.

Do you like the beach, kid?

Build sandcastles,

go surfing, get a tan.

I used to love the beach when I was a kid.

If you see any sea shells, kid, let me know

What's a beach?

How much further?

Hey four eyes.

I don't have a family.

This is it.

Hey, hey turn around.

You're a coward.

I gotta get a new gig.

Let somebody else be king.

You can still be a good king.

A'56 Chevy Bel Air can kick a '47 Buick Roadmaster's ass

any day, at least on the first quarter mile that is.

You come all this way without saying squat,

and now you're trying to tell me a '56 Chevy

can beat a '47 Buick in a dead quarter mile?

I liked you better when you weren't saying squat, kid.

Go to bed.

Buddy.

What?

I'm afraid of that Spinach Monster thing.

Hollow body, six-string 1957.

I know that sound.

Good shooting, boys.

Who are you?

Death.

Cool.

You here for me?

You and every other rock'n'roller out to claim my throne.

Give me the guitar and I'll let the child go.

I hope you guys can play.

Stop him.

Swell.

Spinach monster.

Let's hit it.

There are others left to Kill.

Welcome to hell, boy.

Tag you're it.

How do you like hell?

Loser.

I hate kids.

I really hate kids.

Loser.

Who do you think you are, a windmill?

Just clock the creep.

Get up.

Hit me I dare you to hit me.

Come on.

Cool.

Child.

You are the victor.

You have been chosen by the windmill god.

And now you will be sacrificed to him.

If I were you, I'd run.

If you were me, you'd be good looking.

That's not nice, get him.

Oh goody, another sacrifice.

Bow down before the great and powerful windmill god.

What, you're expecting someone bigger?

Hurry it up, I'm hungry.

Yes oh mighty windmill god.

Bring in the other one, I'm still hungry.

Swell.

Well I'll be.

Looks like I'm gonna make my gig in Vegas after all.

Caller 22, you're on the air with the Werewolf.

Hey, Wolfie. I can't believe I got through.

I never call these shows.

Well you only have to get picked by the Wolf once, baby,

then you're hooked for life.

Yesterday, I was out cruising,

these ruskie cats stopped my ride,

and asked to see my papers,

and made me sing the ruskie national anthem.

And I thought that was...

By the way, I think the King should-

Yeah baby, this one's going out

to all you freedom fighters holding back the red plague

on the rock'n'roller's frontline to Vegas.

Keep the faith, baby, we're waiting for the king.

Don't let us down, you king.

Here we go again.

I'll handle this.

How much further to Vegas, comrade?

No one goes to Las Vegas without papers.

No one, four eyes.

Okay.

Comrades, comrades, comrades.

So this isn't going to be as easy as I thought.

We skin you Americanski.

This is my road, you are in Soviet territory.

No one goes through.

No one.

The war is over, baby.

It's been over for years.

I'm the new rock'n'roll king of Vegas.

So all you commies, step aside.

1 do not like rock'n'roll music.

It is too loud.

I like folk music.

Soft, nice music, uh?

Polka?

What?

Anything.

I don't do polka, baby.

No one rock'n'roll in Las Vegas

Papers, no papers.

Understand?

No one.

Come on.

Float away, little butterfly, just flutter away.

Don't go.

If you scratch my guitar, I'll kill you

Don't go.

Why don't he just shoot him?

we haven't had bullets since '57

Tiger claw, tiger claw, go, go.

Kid?

Kid?

Kid?

Buddy.

Buddy?

It was him.

It was him.

He was here.

Only one man could kill this many Russians.

Bring his guitar to me.

This time, no mistakes, or it'll be your heads.

Hit it.

He's really pissed off.

Pissed off.

Don't let the four eyes reach Vegas alive.

Vegas.

Congratulations, kid, we made it.

Vegas.

Vegas, Vegas.

Freeze, sucker.

Surrender the sword.

And hand over the guitar.

Or the kid gets it.

Get him.

Yeah, get it.

You have an appointment with Death.

Four eyes.

Keep going, kid.

Congratulations, you've been the only one

to escape my grasp.

Swell.

I heard you were an excellent player,

but you are much too naive.

You surrender too easily.

Relinquish what is mine.

Looking for this?

Take it, it's yours.

You disappoint me.

I only take what's valuable to you.

You can't have him.

Oh, really?

Then perhaps if you won't play for yourself,

you will play for the boy's soul.

Enough.

Stick him, boys.

It stopped.

Buddy.

They're coming.

Yeah.

I've got an appointment with Death.

Admit it.

You are weak and you've been defeated.

Now, bend before the ways of heavy metal.

You were the last.

Soon Vegas will be all mine.

Leave him alone.

Is that blood?

Stupid child.

Stay back.

What are you doing?

He killed Top Hat.

Top Hat?

Nobody kills Top Hat.

You've killed Death

Killed him.

Yeah.

If you ever need a band.

Call us.

That's a wrap baby.