Original subtitles

Say cheese.

# Kiss you under the moonlight

# Girl you are the one

# We've got to celebrate this now

# We've got to celebrate this now. #

Hello.

Hello, everyone.

Thank you all very much for coming tonight.

I am a very lucky woman to have fallen in love with

such a wonderful man.

We are not going to re-enact our first dance.

So would you please welcome to the stage.

The once famous Celine.

You promised me a band.

# I believe in miracles

# Where're you from,

# You sexy thing

# You sexy thang you

# I believe in miracles

# Since you came along,

# You sexy thing. #

# Do you remember the first time

# That my eyes set on you

# Your smile came from nowhere

# For some time never

# Or some time soon

# The road is a long one

# I was only passing through

# I was only passing through. #

Merci.

It's so lovely here.

Never used to be.

What?

This place. Proper daunt when I got here.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Drugs, gambling.

You had to wipe your feet on the way out.

Blimey.

In the end, the police closed it down.

It was falling apart for ages.

Their nan and Celine turned up and transformed it,

changed the village.

So, when did you get here, then?

20 years ago, just ask Xavi.

Oh, so Xavi's dad is French?

Long story.

So, when do you get your ring back?

Oh, I don't know.

Sick of asking.

The only thing he left me that's worth anything

and I can't get my hands on it.

Still go to text him, you know, see something funny, and I think,

Oh, Rory, I love this.

It was all a lie, wasn't it?

What do I do now?

Choose the parts I want to believe?

My own version of events?

I think we all have to do that to some extent.

Remember when my mum was dying?

I used to look at all the women my age in the hospital,

caring for the mums

and think about how we were all members of the same club.

A club you don't want to be in.

loss can be a cruel mistress.

You might want to rephrase that under the circumstances.

When I asked for a subtle ice sculpture,

I didn't want one that would sink the Titanic.

I wanted to Dove's intertwined.

It looks like two rabid dogs ravishing a bone.

What?

It might have started to melt?

So, why on God's Earth did you send it so early?

Well, I'm afraid you're going to have to get rid of it, darling.

It is an eyesore.

What?

Well, you can think again, if you think that I am

going to be breaking it up myself, I want it gone by 3pm.

Good grief, it's just almost impossible to get any decent

service over here.

Well, no offence, dear.

None taken.

So your CV, let's have a look.

You're from Marseille and you've had lots of experience.

Oui, Madame.

I worked for two private houses there and was also involved

in the catering.

I can't see your references here.

Oh, so sorry, Madame, I thought you were attached.

I will print them out...

Don't bother, dear.

I only ask for Jeremy.

I never read them anyway.

OK, then you all through to the next round.

You know, I like you, Angela, but I have one final test.

It shows me the measure of a woman.

Could you demonstrate for me your fanciest fold?

She's going to love it, I promise you.

She's coming over.

I'll see you later.

No, no, no, no.

She's going to be absolutely thrilled.

Oh, thank goodness for that.

Someone with a degree of skill.

Merci.

May I say, what a beautiful house you have here.

Oh, how kind.

You know, we actually got married here.

Really? Yes.

Anyway, could you start tomorrow?

Of course.

No problem.

Anything else?

No, that's all for now.

See you bright and early tomorrow at, 6:00 am. Start.

Well, you won't see me at such a ghastly hour, of course.

Adele will let you in.

Merci.

Oh, sorry. I mean, goodbye.

Good. That's all sorted then.

I brought my own tea making facilities.

But you can't be too careful, can you?

My friend went to France once and caught something dreadful

from a kettle.

You can't be too careful with foreign water.

Are you OK?

You're a bit quiet today.

I'm scared, Dom.

I am.

And if she can kill once, she can do it again and I might be next.

You're not on your own, you know?

No, Dom, that's just it.

I am on my own.

Fomalhaut is sometimes called the loneliest star

because it's the brightest star in that region of the sky.

What?

Well, you're not that, you know, on your own in the universe.

There are other stars twinkling right alongside you.

Right.

That sounded a bit more profound in my head.

So, what happened with Xavi's dad then?

I asked Gloria this morning and she just clammed up.

I honestly don't know.

There was a rumour he was a missionary or something.

Gloria? Was with a missionary?

I know. It's weird.

I've never seen her with a man since.

Oh, he's better off without her.

Um, present company excepted.

You should have printed it out, darling.

I didn't need to print it out, darling,

because I knew I would remember it.

Clearly not.

Yes.

We'd like to check in.

Could somebody take our bags?

We don't have a porter.

Oh, how utterly ridiculous.

How can you call yourselves a hotel?

Well, we don't call ourselves a hotel because we're a pub.

I think you might be looking for hotel villa up the street.

The female of the species, eh?

Not too bad, considering.

Happy then?

I wouldn't go that far.

Trust that sister in law of yours not to let us stay at the chateau.

I mean, for God's sake, it is your family's.

You know, full, well, Jeremy bought it.

And let's not go through all that again, please.

And whose fault is that?

I'm going to take a shower.

For goodness' sake, Harry, you brought the wrong tuxedo!

This is at least 30 years old.

That's the one I wore on Jeremy's stag night.

He'll think it's hilarious.

He'll think we're penniless.

We are.

There's a good girl.

Pass me that wash rag, will you?

Thank you.

You all right?

Yeah.

You know, all things considered.

You know what you need?

What's that?

You need a distraction.

Oh, do I now?

What are we thinking?

Well... Come on.

..nah, mate, you're all right.

Come on, what were you thinking?

Well... Come on.

..well, you would really be helping me out.

After how much you've helped me out, it's the least I could do.

Brilliant.

OK. OK.

Would you like to be my plus one

at Jeremy and Judith's anniversary party?

ALARM SOUNDS

Argh! Front door.

Bloody French fire alarms.

Now, I want this to be centre stage.

That is Jeremy's family crest.

I want it to be heralded in gold and blue balloons.

Angela, make sure that everyone gets a party favour.

Yes, Madame.

Only one each, mind you, they have been counted.

Capiche?Oui, Madame.

My God, I must be delirious.

I'm speaking French.

These have just arrived for you.

More flowers, really?

And where on Earth am I supposed to put them?

Oh, hello, my cherub.

Oh, I see you got my flowers.

Oh, darling, I was just saying to the girls, They are so lovely.

I just don't know where I'm going to put them.

Now I have another little surprise for you.

No, I haven't really got the time.

Yes, you do.

This will make you sparkle.

Now, close your eyes.

Open them.

It's coral, darling.

Symbolises 35 years devotion.

Oh, thank you, darling.

You're welcome.

Now, I have one more little surprise for you.

Meet you at Lake Huron at 7pm.

Do we have to?

You promised!

I know, but...

Hey, it's '80s theme and it's fancy dress.

It is?

Why didn't you say?

I'll see you there.

I am walking on sunshine.

Oh, hang on, Don. I've got to go. It's my estate agent.

OK, I'll speak to you later.

See you, love.

Hi, Barbara.

Hello, Jean.

Good news. I have a viewing for you.

You ready, my sweet?

Yes. Yes, I'm ready, darling.

Mary, what are you doing here?

When you said your sister couldn't make it work, darling,

I said, "Well, old boy, it's up to you to make it work."

So, here she is.

Yeah, it's funny.

I didn't get the first invite.

You look very well, Judith.

Fat!

What?

That's what you say when someone's put weight on.

It's not good to be too thin and as you get older.

A rule you obviously abide by.

Darling, it seems only fair if your sibling's here,

mine should be here too.

Come in, you two!

Cressida and Harry!

Isn't this fantastic?

And it gets better.

Adele, bring it in.

Isn't this wonderful?

All the family together after 35 years.

Do you like what I've done with the old place, Harry?

Oh, do you remember when Walter fell down that well?

You cried for days!

I loved that dog.

Drinkies all around.

Have you come as Lady Diana?

I'm Simon Le Bon.

He's quite indie, actually,

cos I've always had a look of Cyndi Lauper.

Oh, yeah?

Hey, Judith does know how to throw a good do.

And the sense in keeping your enemies close,

If you know what I mean?

Right, we ready?

Let's do it.

Oh, sorry.

Hello, you.

Dad?

Look at you.

You look wonderful.

Takes me right back to when you were a teenager.

Sunday lunch times at the Golden Goose.

What was that song you used to sing?

Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad.

That's it.

You look just like him tonight.

Dad. I've modelled myself on Joan Jett, not Meat Loaf.

I'm only pulling your leg.

I knew that.

What are you doing here, Dad?

You never called.

I just thought I'd come and see my favourite little girl.

Nothing wrong with that, is there?

I just needed a change of scene for a while.

A while?

A couple of weeks?

Days?

Couple of nights. Here.

Take my keys and let yourself in.

I have a party to go to.

I'll be back later.

You're a good girl.

See you.

Say cheese.

Spins a lot but it keeps them going.

Oh. Thank you.

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Waste not, want not.

There you are.

Where have you been?

You said that your phone was easy to work.

Can't find the song.

I can't find the song.

You want to do the dance now?

Yes!

Excuse moi.

Please, can you press play when Judith has finished her speech?

I am very busy.

Yeah, sure.

Hello, everyone.

Hello. Hello.

Thank you all so much for coming tonight.

I am a very lucky woman to have fallen in love with

such a wonderful man.

And I am also lucky enough still to fit into the dress I wore

when I married that wonderful man.

Not many of us can say that.

Can we, girls?

We are now going to re-enact our first dance.

So would you please welcome to the stage the once famous, Celine.

APPLAUSE

Hang on, Dad.

You promised me a band.

# I believe in miracles

# Where're you from, you sexy thing,

# You sexy thang you... #

Just turn the key and lift the handle a bit, dad.

All right. OK.

See you later. Bye, dad.

# I believe in miracles

# Since you came along

# You sexy thing you. #

# Oh yeah

# Oh yeah

# Where did you come from baby... #

SCREAMS

Ladies and gentlemen, you may all go home now.

But we require everyone to present their passports at the station

as soon as possible.

Where they will be held until our investigations are complete.

And, of course, we will be requiring statements from everyone.

Oh, for goodness' sake.

I have a bridge final in Maidstone on Thursday.

Please accept my apologies if the loss of a life

interferes with your travel plans.

I'm sure your insurance companies will be able to help.

What's happening?

Somebody please just tell me what's going on?!

It's all right, darling. I'm here!

Now, come along.

Thank you very much, inspector.

CROWD MURMURING

Sorry.

Would it be impolite to ask you a question?

Not at all.

The huge brooch on the turban that Mary was wearing?

Have you got it?

Brooch?

Yeah, it was on the turban now.

I think I know what it is, but, well, I can't be quite certain.

There was no brooch.

They need to find it because I think that is a very valuable

piece of jewellery.

Would it be impolite for me to ask for your assistance

on this case, Madame?

What are you doing up at this hour?

I've got a mouse like the bottom of a cat's tray.

Comment?

Je suis feeling rough.

I'll have one of them.

I feel as rough as a Badger's backside.

And when was the last time you felt one of those, grandad?

You're not too big to get a clip round the ear all, you know.

What have you come as?

Where's that coffee, Xavi?

How'd your party go?

Someone died.

Judith's sister.

At the party.

Judith was inconsolable.

Never thought I'd actually hear myself say this,

but I felt sorry for her.

Don't you worry, love, your old dad's here now.

Oh, thanks, dad.

Merci.

So, what brings you here, then, dad?

Well, to see you lot, of course.

And I've got a bit of business as well.

And what are your plans for today?

Go for a little stroll.

This is where they must have got in.

And you're definitely sure it was poison.

The doctor is almost certain.

Of course, we have to wait for confirmation from the coroner.

Excuse me.

JUDITH CRYING

Come on, he'll tell us, darling.

Any further developments, Carol?

It does look like poison.

Don't worry darling, I've got you.

Judith, Jeremy.

May I offer my condolences?

Thank you.

Would it be too insensitive to ask you a couple of questions here

rather than at the station?

Of course.

What was your relationship to the deceased?

Would you like me to answer that, Darling?

Mary was Judith, older sister.

In fact, the reason I met Judith, she was housekeeper

to Harry and Cressida.

Judith came along one day to pick her up and, well, the rest,

as they say, is history.

Harry and Cressida?

My brother and sister in law.

Were they at the party?

Yes, they're still here.

They're staying at Luto...

Why do you have to keep talking about it?!

It's all right.

It's not all right! It's far from all right, Jeremy!

It's... It's happened.

It'll never be...all right.

Sorry. Sorry, everyone, it's all just a bit much.

It's the shock, I think.

The shock of it all.

SOBBING: I spent so long organising the whole thing.

JUDITH SOBS It's all right.

PHONE VIBRATES

You seem pretty certain about this blue stone

from one glance, Madame White.

Well, I've only ever seen that colour and clarity of stone

once before, but never seen one that size.

The one I saw was mined in the Santa Maria mines

in Brazil in the '50s.

The sumptuousness of the...of the stone,

it was unmistakable.And valuable?

Well, the one I saw was a quarter of the size of the brooch,

and that sold for over £5,000.

Oh. Was that in Mary's bag, too?

Can I have a look?

Er, yes.

Oh, thank you.

Oh.

Now, this... This is a Victorian mourning locket.

Do you see the lock of hair?

Macabre.

Well, they can be.

They were made fashionable by Queen Victoria

when Prince Albert died, but the idea was around way before then.

I saw one at an exhibition at Buckingham Palace,

which is said to contain the hair of Charles I, but...

Madame White, I wonder if I could make you an offer.

Your knowledge and expertise is something I greatly admire.

Oh, thank you.

And something I'm greatly in need of.

Oh?Sainte Victoire is the epicentre of antiques.

Forgery is rife,

and my knowledge is not as great as it should be.

Or, as my wife would say, I am ignorant.

That's a bit harsh.

Would you be interested in assisting me as my adviser?

I could pay you a small salary.

It would be of great help.

Oh, wow, I'd love to.

Thank you, Caron.

My pleasure.

So...can I take a picture of this, then?

Of course.

Do you know, there's only two things in life

that I'm really, really passionate about?

And what might they be?

Beautiful women and good rugby.

So, what position do you play?

THEY LAUGH

PHONE VIBRATES

JEAN SIGHS

Where have I seen you before?

Sorry, I'm late, love. DOG WOOFS

Oh, with Dad visiting, it's like living in a Carry On film.

Can't stop long, I'm getting me toes done.

Fancy a cuppa?Yeah, go on, quick one.

What a terrible end to the party, eh?

I know, isn't it awful?

Between me and you...

..something was stolen, too.Really?

A brooch. Belonged to Mary, the lady who died.

Valuable?

I think so.

Ooh, that's nice.

Oh, that...

..is a Victoria mourning locket.

So you'd have a lock of the deceased's hair on one side

and the family crest on the other.

Eurgh.

Whose hair is it in the locket?

I don't know.

That's Jeremy's family crest on the other side.

What?They have it stamped on everything.

Lady of the manor

would have it stamped on her forehead if she could.

Say "cheese". CAMERA CLICKS

Is the sister-in-law all right?

Did she need stitches?

Gloria, it was the sister who died.

I know that. I mean her sister-in-law. Cressida.

The one with the cut hand. I'm not with you.

When I was talking to me dad, I saw her coming out of the French doors.

She was holding her hand in a scarf covered in blood.

I put my phone away, but when I looked up, she'd gone.

You sure?

Yeah, I'd only had half a lager and lime.

The hair.

Of course.

Can you give me a lift to the Hotel Bien?

Sorry, love, I'm going the other way.

Oh, it's OK, it's OK. Don't worry.

CRESSIDA:I distinctly asked for sourdough bread.

HARRY:Oh, for God's sake, that's all they had.

Oh, for goodness' sake.

Ready? Ready.

Now what?

Oh, hello.

And to what do we owe the pleasure?

Tell them we're not paying for this rubbish.

Erm, we wondered if we could have a word...

..about Mary.

What about Mary? If you'll excuse us,

we are trying to have some lunch.

I have a witness who saw you coming away from the scene of the murder

with an injured hand.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Cressida?

Cressida, what have you done?

It's not what you think.

Did you kill Mary because of the affair?

I wanted to confront her.

About this.

Handwritten by her.

I found it in your old tuxedo from Jeremy's stag.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Years of illiterately scrawled shopping lists

made me recognise her writing immediately.

When we were first married, we used to laugh about the way

she fawned over you.

When you decided to get rid of her, I understood why.

Darling... Then all of a sudden she returned.

You blamed your father for wanting her back.

You don't know what you're talking about, darling.

Don't you lie to me any more.

How long was Mary away for?

After about a year, she was back.

I should have realised then.

Darling, it's all in your beautiful head.

Mary carried this with her in her handbag.

You...

..gave this...

..to that repugnant woman?

Your hair, your crest

around her neck.

How dare you?

She was more of a woman than you will ever be.

Not any more.

Cressida...

..did you kill Mary?

No.

I didn't kill her.

Much as I wanted to.

She was clearly dead when I got there.

She was lying on the chaise longue, blood coming out of her mouth.

CAR DOOR CLOSES, DOG BARKS

I heard a noise outside, and as I went to leave...

..I cut my wrist on a broken window.

Have you made your statement yet?

I'll go now.

Everything has been a lie, hasn't it?

Everything.

We've got to get back to the chateau.

What? What you on about? She's got the perfect motive.

It's a crime of passion. They'll go easy on her.

Something's not right.

Caron, it's me.

Have you still got all the passports?

They were in love.

But it's beyond belief.

He always said he couldn't stand her.

He said the father only used her because she was so cheap.

Sometimes he was so rude to her.

I used to say, "Hey, remember, that's Judith's sister."

We were also shocked when he gave her mum a sapphire

as a retirement gift.

I thought it was guilt.

It all makes sense now.

Judith is distraught.

I'm sure she is.

She was so excited about the chocolate fountain.

Erm, may I use your bathroom?

Yes, of course.

Dom, please.

Angela.

Ah, oui?

I'm... I'm sorry to bother you.

I'm just a bit concerned about Judith.

Do you think she's going to be OK?

Oh, I think she will be fine.

You've not been here long, have you?

I'm new, too.

How are you finding it?

Sainte Victoire does take a little bit of getting used to, doesn't it?

You're not wrong.

Where are you from?

Marseille.

Where are you really from?

I just told you. Marseille.

You know, if you don't tell the truth, you could go to jail.

It seems rotten wasting your entire life on a lie.

I do not know what you're talking about.

Mary was your mother, wasn't she?

And Harry is your father.

I do not know who these people are that you're talking about.

Please, Angela.

It's over.

SHE SIGHS

How did you know?

It was something Cressida said

about Mary being sacked for nearly a year.

Yes, that...that would have been when I was born.

How did you know it was me?

Oh. The charger you used at the party,

you had a British adaptor, and when you filled Gloria's glass up,

your accent dropped a little bit.

Waste not, want not.

I mean, I wasn't sure.

But I, erm, I checked your passport with Caron.

How did Mary not recognise you?

JEAN GASPS

Of course.

Red hair.

Yes.

I'm the dirty little secret nobody wanted.

Dumped into a care home.

When you're old enough, they give you a folder

with your basic details.

That's when I decided I wanted to find her.

Are you Mary?

Hello, darling.

Hello, darling.Mary was lovely at first.

OK, have a great week.

Everything I'd ever wanted her to be.

Bye, darling.All right. See ya.

But one day she told me she...had to stop seeing me

out of respect for her dead husband's memory.

PHONE DINGS

And she told me by text.

She broke my heart again.

Every time I saw her, she wore that blue brooch.

She said it was worth a lot of money,

but would always be priceless to her because...

..my father had given it to her as a gift.

My father. That's a laugh, isn't it?

I saw that brooch as my inheritance.

She'd been posting on social media about coming to the chateau

for a big party, so I just jumped on a train and I come over.

What were you planning to do?

I don't know.

But then this job turned up, and I thought...

Oh, I don't know what I thought.

What were you going to do with the brooch?

Found a dealer online who agreed to buy it off me.

And who was this dealer?

No idea.

We met up.

Somehow she got the whole story out of me.

I broke down, and she promised to help.

She even came up with a plan.

When Mary was asleep, I slipped into her hotel room.

SNORING

It's about to take the brooch when the fire alarm went off.

FIRE ALARM BLARES Oh, shut the front door!

It woke Mary up.

So, the next time, she...

..gave me something that would help Mary sleep...

..so I could steal the brooch easily.

The party was so busy, it was easy to slip

the sleeping powder into her drink.

When I come into the lounge, she was asleep on the chaise longue.

I took the brooch off the turban, and I went to give it to the dealer

who was waiting outside.

But the window was stuck, and I panicked.

Got my champagne bottle and I've smashed a pane of glass.

I handed the brooch to the dealer, who was waiting outside,

and just went back into the party.

She said it would make her sleep.

I didn't want her to die.

I promise.

So where's the brooch now?

I don't know.

Well, the dealer won't take my calls. She's disappeared.

It's gone.

I just wanted what was mine, and now it's gone.

FOOTSTEPS

SHE SOBS

Ah, here they are.

Dom, I think you'd better call Caron.

Et voila.

Bonjour.

Oscar, how are you?Salut.

Just you wait till you see what I've got for you.

What can I get you?

Cognac. Two cognacs over there.

I'll bring them over. Merci.

I have to say, I've not seen a collection

as good as this for years. I really haven't.

You just have a look.

All in alphabetical order,

all signed and in mint condition.

Just look at these.

Hey, how about that one?

Oh, I love that album.

Although someone scribbled all over it.

That is Nat King Cole's autograph, love.

No, it's not.

No offence, love, but what would you know?

My dad played saxophone for Quincy Jones.

They played with Nat at the Olympia in Paris, 1960.

Ah.

There.

That's Nat King Cole's signature.

Love.

HE SIGHS

# You were the last

# Of the daydream chances

# Drunk the last of the violet gin

# The first time that I saw

# Was the last time you let me in

# You drank the last of the holy water

# The last your lips would touch

# She stained it with the blood of your hands

# It seems you had too much

# You and me in the spring time, honey

# Where the flowers bloom... #

All right, Dad?

Am I ever. Contact in Paris reckons his sister's cousin's

got a leather jacket that might have once belonged to Johnny Hallyday.

Tres bien. Good to see you, kid.

You too, Dad.

I'll be in touch.All right.

Ooh. Can I keep the kimono?

I found the aeration was good for me...Take it.

Bye.

BELL TOLLS

Poor girl. PHONE DINGS

She must have been desperate to go to them lengths.

Mm.

Oh, my God.

What?

It's her.

Again.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media