Original subtitles

Berlingske Issue! Latest News!

Thanks, sir.

Afternoon paper with list of polls. Battle for Recording star.

Does the million contract go to Master Records or Onofon?

Morgenberlingske with latest news: Fight for contract worth a million.

Politics! Fresh morning papers.

Two Danish record producers fight for singer Dolores Rossi.

Extra Issue! Anthon Master signs contracts with Dolores Rossi tonight?

Big picture report!

BT and Berlingske Aftenavis!

Everything on recording contract. Decision on Wednesday at 12pm

BT and Berlingske Aften.

All right, ladies... What's up today?

I'll check.

In stars, Misse. I mean The stars.

"Gemini: A lot is required from you."

"But the pressure eases when you have chosen the person"

"on whom you can rely for everything ."

God!

Which Sodom... and good morning.

What do you want?

Here's a glimpse of the future.

Are you a fortune teller? No, I'm an inventor.

I have invented a gramophone disc which will revolutionize the record industry.

It's been invented already. Yes, but this one doesn't wear out.

This one has enough space for lots of songs and it won't break.

One disc holding many songs which won't break?

You think I'm an idiot? Yes.

We've already got one of those!

You're fired! But I don't even work here.

Get out!

Out!

And you mind your own business. Where are we again?

Piss!

We need the paper a bit further down. Lower down.

Yes, like that.

Hold it. Like that.

We shall get a full cover.

Over there.

Fuck!

Like that.

Nice... No, the pose is too bold for the Billedstandard.

Good afternoon, Director. Welcome to the party.

What is it? Veuve Clicquot. "Yellow widow".

I thought that was champagne.

That cloth should be made into a new suit for you.

Take your fat hairy hands off me!

A songbird in a cage is better than...

An old bird in the hand is worth more than ten old birds on the roof.

Master Records is proud to present

1930's biggest hit tune: "Tango Jalousie".

Has Dolores arrived yet?

Good.

Has Dolores arrived yet? I'm afraid not, Mr. Master.

Ulvenstein actually needs some girls for his summer revue.

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's honoured guest:

cabaret singer Dolores Rossi!

Dolores, dear friend. You look amazing.

Isn't that the truth. There or thereabouts.

You're welcome. Thanks, I'm grateful.

Dolores, please sing us a song.

Just one verse.

Gentlemen. By public demand.

Bravo!

Sing : "Jeg kan ikke lade v�re." It's from Onofon.

We'll see.

Have you met our beautiful songbird? She's awful.

What do you see in her? A contract with World Records.

Can you get that whore to sign up tonight?

Maybe.

For the next two days Anthon mustn't be allowed to get near Dolores.

There won't be a problem with the police?

One more word and I'll clobber you.

Sorry.

Let's not discuss it any more.

When it's about a contract worth a million you can't take any chances.

Get him! Yes, boss.

Bravo, Dolores. You were brilliant.

I appreciated it too.

Ulvenstein seems like he's got something fishy going on.

Something fishy? Yes, nasty; really nasty.

Nora, take care of Anthon.

At the double!

If the record had been made by Master Records

It would have sounded more like this...

As you can hear, Dolores, it needs more emotion.

Do you think I'm lacking in talent? I wouldn't have been so critical.

Can we forget the contract for the evening?

I'm not too sure. I'll let the cards do the talking.

What are you playing? Contract Bridge.

Poker.

And the wager?

Good idea. Shall we meet the day after tomorrow at your place?

If she hasn't signed the contract with me by then.

I don't know.

First I have to know what the master wants.

Shall we say 3 o'clock, Dolores?

Aha! Dolores!

I apologise.

I hope that amuses you.

Don't.

Dolores?

Dolo...?

Dolores?

Excuse me.

What have we messed up?

Facts are facts.

Has Ulven fallen down a well? That isn't funny.

Is it raining, Director? No!

Yes.

We should take care of him. Yes, come.

Cuckoo!

Where is Dolores? I don't have time to chase after chicks.

Hold on to it, I'll take a look.

Stop it.

Where are we going? I'll look after you.

Just follow Mummy.

You think you can keep Anthon away from Dolores

but you can't.

Put it inside me.

Take me.

Fuck me.

Fuck me!!

Take me.

Cuckoo!

We're going to get you!

Dolores has gone, and Ulven and his two egg thieves are under control.

Nice.

Come, Nora. We need some fresh air.

Shall we have dinner tomorrow night? I don't know...

That was kind of you, but there's no reason to waste time on us.

We're compatible neither chemically nor astrologically.

Chemically? Astrologically?

I'm Gemini and you're Virgo. It doesn't work.

Oh well...

In other words I'm the conservative, sentimental type.

I want to get married and have childen. A boy and a girl.

Am I boring you? Not at all.

Where the fuck have you been?

What the fuck are you two doing here?

Where is Dolores? Where is Master?

Get going! I will.

Yes... Don't worry about it.

And I'm Ulvenstein's secretary as well.

So take a cold bath and cool your ardour.

But it was lovely to talk to you.

Besides, I think you sing better than Dolores.

Thank you for tonight. My pleasure.

We got him.

Thanks for yesterday. My pleasure.

Hello, it's me. Hello.

Do you think this is only a flute?

You're smoking? I'll have a look.

Stop whatever you're doing. The party's over.

Ten thousand Crowns apiece.

In 24 hours we'll have the cash.

I'm thirsty. The prisoner wants water.

Who asked for water, peasant?

Give him some beer.

Did he imply I'm a yokel?

Just give him his beer. Yes, yes.

Ulvenstein doesn't have any style.

10,000 isn't much. That's each.

This is about millions.

A thousand each if you let me go.

Good night, Ole.

Millions, he said. Yes...

Now for breakfast, Mr. Master.

How odd.

What are you saying?

Watch it! Fingerprints, you fool!

You're thinking of everything.

"Master's been kidnapped."

"He will be released if you bring 100,000 Crowns"

"In a brown bag to locker no.13 in the ladies' changing room at the bath house."

"Tonight at 6.30pm. Or else ..."

That's fucking smart.

Where should I sign it? Idiot!

Good God! What's happened?

Anthon's been kidnapped. No! I'd better call the cops.

You're calling no-one.

It must be Ulvenstein. He'd never ask for ransom money.

What about Anthon's meeting with Dolores?

And the contract between her and World Records?

The company's losing millions. What will become of us?

Call the office first and get the cash.

It says we don't get Anthon back until Thursday.

But Wednesday is the final day for signing the Contract.

We MUST get hold of Anthon for tomorrow's meeting with Dolores

Get yourself a bag and come with Misse and me to the bath house.

Anthon Master has a twin brother..

Twin brother... Twin brother.....

I don't think they've met in the last ten years

If only we could get him to play Anthon for two days

then we'll cope with all this.

Welcome. And God bless you

How can I help you?

It's regarding a death in the family.

Yes, it's a difficult time.

Is the client to be cremated or buried?

What gender is the client? Male, I believe.

Buried, naturally. How tall was the client?

Yes...

Your build is very similar to the deceased's.

Then that's Size 48.

I have a nice solid 48. Here, with soft bolstered upholstery.

Soft upholstery? Yes, thanks.

Ah! Is it hard for them?

Any close relative would feel the same way.

I remember a case.... Thanks, thanks.

Could you please demonstrate the product?

Because you're so similar to the deceased?

With great pleasure.

No, normally it isn't necessary to wear shoes in a coffin.

Well? Yes. I haven't tried it out yet.

No.

As you can see, there's plenty of room. Perfect.

What happens if you want to sit up?

What?

2212.

Put these documents in my briefcase. And don't forget the meeting today.

The Ghost Train. This is Ulvenstein.

Is everything under control?

Excellent.

Remind them about the pictures of Dolores.

What the Hell do you want now?

My new tape recorder.

The music player of the future.

It's the tape.

No, no!

Turn it off!

It worked fine back at home

Out!

Out!

A tape recorder?

That's a piece of shit. Cheerio.

2212.

The Ghost Train.

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

Strange. There was no reply.

I hope it was just a wrong number.

If someone got curious...

You can't really tell.

Jo... He's trying to say something.

Am I awake or am I still dreaming?

Welcome, Benny Master. As God is my witness, I've never been sinful.

Where am I?

What is this?

And who are all of you?

Misse. What?

And these are Bibby, Susy and Anne.

And Leopold! Yes, yes, I'm coming now.

That's him with the Size 48. Yes. And a perfect fit, Mr. Master

Where am I?

You can't treat me like this.

This is certainly...

This is like a whorehouse.

No, you're in your brother's own bed. And just why am I in his bed?

Don't!

Right, right. Leave that cute boy alone.

Sometimes you need to control your fleshly sinful lust.

I wasn't touching him.

You have faith in the goodness in humanity, haven't you?

Yes. Love your neighbour.

Listen carefully...

Don't, it tickles! You're a real rascal.

No, but I'm afraid I'm fast becoming one.

That is exactly like looking at Anthon. Yes, Benny, because now you ARE Anthon.

But you'll have to do without your glasses.

It feels like him as well. It IS him!

We must teach him the art of lovemaking.

So you can cope with Dolores.

Get going, girls.

Is the moneybag ready? Then we're off to the bath house.

It's where Dr. Strudelmeyers has his lecture "How to?" First practice.

Do what?

And how? and with what?

Room 28, Mrs. Wonderful. My lucky number.

Excuse me. That might have been my friend.

Or my sister.

But it wasn't.

Nice. I do it too, several times a day.

You win some, you lose some.

Let me wipe it up.

Here you are, the contract.

It looks like you've reduced your offer.

You won't get a better deal from anybody else.

That remains to be seen. I have a meeting with Anthon tomorrow.

Yes, that's right.

Let me...

Dolores...

We do the talking. Cheerio for now.

Allow me... No thanks, I know the way.

Yes, that's a whole new feeling.

Why isn't anyone showing up? That one looks a bit...

Twenty-eight...

Just checking if it was my sister's. Out!

It looks exactly the same.

Hello, boys!

Excuse me.

What are you doing in here? I thought it was Ladies' Day.

We don't want this kind of thing here.

Crawl back to wherever you came from! Out!

That looks really good.

Can I help you? I just came to book an appointment.

Don't let me stop you.

Cha Cha Cha.

Somebody must show up soon. Yes, the bag is still here.

Something about her is very strange.

Excuse me... all right, I'm on my way.

Will you finish on Mrs Petersen? Finish her? Yes, you bet.

Now I'll get you done, Mrs. Petersen.

It looks a professional job.

I can't abide new gadgets.

This calls for my natural method.

Now let me see.

Can you massage me too? In a moment.

I think we're finished, Miss.

With the greatest pleasure.

Now I'm ready. Certainly.

Where do I start?

Tasty little chocolate.

Let your hand slowly slide up.

On Her.

Go ahead, she's waiting for it. Waiting for what?

Slide your hand further up.

Higher up. And say "Dolores" deeply and softly.

To Miss Susy?

The only hard thing on him is his back.

Get on with it, man.

She isn't wearing any knickers.

He'll never learn. He must!

There she is! Come!

Now, are you keeping up the steam, girls?

Yes, that's lucky.

Hey, you there! I want a word with you!

Stop thief!

Stop thief!

I know I've gone astray.

Stop thief! What the fuck are you doing here?

Stop thief!

What the fuck happened here?

The money's gone!

What kept you? You wouldn't believe what I've just been though!

Go!

Stop thief!

Pair No.7!

Pair No.7!

Pair No.7!

Stop!

They're kidnappers. They've taken Anthon Master.

Who's grabbed him? Those two on the motorbike.

We must follow them. Dressed like that?

They went that way! Faster!

Take it easy.

It was a man and a fat woman!

Hurry up!

Where does this Anthon Master live? They're getting away!

I decide the speed. Name and address?

I'm not sleepy, Miss Susy.

Wrap your arm around her and lightly caress her breast.

That's the warming up, which is most important.

Excuse us for disturbing you. Having a meeting, Mr. Master?

Yes, it's me.

Mr. Anthon Master? Director of Master Records?

Yes. Has something happened?

Where were you half an hour ago?

I was here, along with...

What were you doing? I..er... We.. er...

All right, then. You get off with a warning.

Come in!

Ladies first. Shut your mouth, boy!

100,000 smackers! What do you say now?

Hands off! Where can we hide them?

I'm thirsty. Give him a Pils.

Give him a Pils. Shut up and just do it!

What's the time? Time? two o'clock.

What day is it? What's the date?

Look at the paper. It's yesterday's

Come off it.

More waist contact. Yes.

More waist contact!

Oh, excuse me. Don't let me disturb you.

Are you sure you and Anthon had the same mother?

I want to thank the chef personally.

In my pocket are 25 pennies for his further training.

Foreplay, warming up, zip, panties, bra.

Take hold of her waist.

This is all wrong. Let Leopold show him how.

You're asking me to play a dirty trick. Do you think I'd betray my own gender?

Fetch John then. Slut!

You certainly need a break. Yes.

We're ready. For when?

Follow carefully now. Yes.

What do you want us to do? The whole shooting match.

Can I try that?

You can do it like that? Fantastic!

Is it you? Yes, just passing by as they say.

And I was thinking that...

Here you go. Thanks.

You've had enough help to fatten your wallet.

They were expensive.

Sit down and have a glass of wine. Thanks, but...

Anthon is coming, so it'll be a few minutes.

As far as I know, he's away...

I don't believe that.

1690, thanks.

Mr Master's secretary. May I speak to Anthon please?

One minute.

It's Dolores. She wants to speak to Anthon.

Show us what you can do. Yes.

Hello, this is Anthon.

Are you keeping our appointment today?

Yes, of course. It was at three o'clock, wasn't it?

As agreed, I'll get to see you eventually.

Yes.

Are you sure that was Anthon? Yes I am.

Why are you so nervous? I must go. Or run.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Farewell, and thanks for the roses.

She said something about play. She probably meant foreplay.

Idiots! I have no idea who it is.

Master is going to meet Dolores soon. Get him before anything happens!

Happy with that? Cretins!

Hell!

Send Miss Nora in. She's sick.

What? Miss Nora is off sick.

What do you want? Listen to the future!

I've invented the "stereophonic soundplayer".

You can clearly tell all the instruments apart.

Listen here. Listen there.

Listen to them both.

Stop! Enough! This kind of sound has no future.

Yes, that's it. Absolutely not! Out!

Out!

Out! Out.

Stereophonics. What utter nonsense!

I don't understand shit. You will soon. Go ahead!

Yes.

Drosselvenget number 6. Come now.

Nora! Sit still.

Like so.

What's the time? Twenty to three.

We should make it, my treasure. Go, you're pushed for time.

Hurry now.

Get Dolores to sign the contract.

We'll go in a moment. I'll take your glasses..

Go on now!

Hello!

Drosselvenget 6. Fast!

Drosselvenget 6. It's an emergency.

Go!

Lose that shit.

For the ride. Thank you.

Oh no, not again!

I'm nervous. Take it easy. Look at me.

Like this.

Exactly like the one back home.

I don't understand shit. Drive!

Get going!

Hurry up now! Contract?

It's in your inside pocket. And remember the foreplay.

Always precise.

I've always dreamed of having... Have you got it?

I don't see the point.

Anthon. Yes.

We have to follow the rules of the game. That's exactly what I'm doing.

Now we're going to play each other at Cribbage.

I'm actually awfully good at Cribbage, and sex.

Really?

...and sixty.

Shall we make this a great party and gamble by stripping?

Strip Poker.

What's the matter with you?

Have you had too much to drink?

I'll learn, with pleasure.

Do you want to hear the other side? Yes. "Kiss me, my darling" is nifty.

I have all your records. This is good foreplay.

Foreplay... Foreplay...

Good for him. All right.

I'll ring Ulvenstein & tell him we've got him.

He seems a bit cold. Max, he's stone cold!

Have you given him anything to eat? Me?

Fuck you too!

It's a mystery.

Hello? Dear Dolores, this is Ulrik.

Again?

We never agreed terms.

We never agreed on our next meeting.

Let's see what happens when we meet. Anton and I.

I'm in the middle of negotiations.

Hello? Hello?

You are a pair of clowns! He's sitting...

It can't be that difficult to find him!

Get on with it!

Transportable tape recording machine.

I'll transport you!

Fuck.

Out.

I'll buy two.

Three.....and two.

Full house.

Four of a kind.

You're certainly none too fit, Anthon.

A little fine hair on the breast.

Yes, you've certainly examined my birthday suit.

It's my right to take the tour.

He's pissed. This must be the right one.

Idiot! this is the only Master, and he's here.

What about the other one? There isn't another one.

Come now! Yes, yes.

Give me five new cards.

Full house.

So what about the trousers, Anthon.

It seems that the contract must remain in your pocket. Shall we continue?

Yes.

Quiet, Anthon.

Let me go.

Don't.

Stop. You don't have time for this.

You think that every woman wants you. All you ever think about is money and women.

There is something in that. Now get going!

Drosselvenget 6. What the hell.

Three tens.

Really?

You were winning this session.

This is certainly a fun game. You're so beautiful.

Is it the champagne that makes you so sweet?

No, I'm not quite myself today.

Are you catching something? Yes.

I shall do my bit of nursing.

I hope nothing goes wrong. This could take some time.

He must remember the contract... Look! That's the ones from the bath house!

After them! Drive! Move!

Come on! Step on it!

Well, well!

Why have you stopped? What for?

You've put on your clothes? What else should I wear?

And those little fine hairs on the breast.

If that's what it takes.

Is everything all right? Are you up to it?

No, I've only just begun.

Will you play again, at double the stakes?

Whoever strips off their last item of clothing loses. All right.

Shall we start again?

I'll buy two.

Nothing?

Come on.

Three nines.

Three Aces.

Full house.

Four Aces.

You were totally different before.

Was I? It's comforting to have an ace in one's back pocket.

Faster, John!

I'll buy three.

It's all about panties and contracts, isn't it, Dolores?

Four nines. Now we're nearing the finish.

Royal Straight Flush.

Where's the contract? In your jacket.

Anthon Master. Did it work from behind, Benny?

Anne? Yes. What about the contract?

What about it? Where is it?

In your pocket. Has she got you drunk, Benny?

Benny?

Benny?

Have you been to the Ghost Train at the Bakken?

No. Get there, at the double!

Won't you collect your prize? No, we don't have time, put some clothes on.

That would be a "breath of fresh air" contract and you shouldn't catch a cold.

That way!

Tie him up.

I told you there were two of them. Shut up!

It's about time to call Ulvenstein to get us some money.

Give the other some water. Righto.

Director? Ulvenstein?

What a surprise.

What the fuck? Someone's started it. Come!

You don't deserve it.

But Ulvenstein mustn't get Dolores after the way he's treated you.

Really, so you'rebehind all this? Stop!

Stop, now!

Stop the machinery!

Let go of me!

What's going on?

Looking good, girls.

Mr. Benny, what happened?

Where's Anthon? I haven't seen him for ten years.

You go on, girls.

What a load of crap this is!

Who is she?

After her!

We must get the money.

Stop! In the name of the king and the law!

Police! arrest them!

Come, Benny. We must find Anthon.

God, this is exciting.

God have mercy on me!

Max, this is totally weird. I'm just saying...

Duty Calls! Get the baton, Anthonsen. Forward!

What is it? I don't know.

There are the cops. Stop this git. I'll pick up the money.

Max! Wait for me!

That's cheating.

Where's Nora? She went that way.

May God have mercy on me. This is worse than central station.

I'm frightened. They ran that way!

Charge!

Is anybody here?

God...!

Charge!

I can't go any further. You've been going long enough.

I'll carry on, Anthonsen. Get the baton!

There she is! After her, Benny!

We must find the money. And Anthon.

Come.

Cuckoo!

Good! Good!

For one the police are on the spot.

That wasn't a comfortable ride. Thanks, Anthon.

But I'm Benny.

Don't you recognise us?

Yes. Isn't it....?

Good! Good!

The money's here.

It's not me. Help!

I'm scared.

That way!

They fixed him too? Come.

Count to five, then pull it up.

I'll be there in just a moment.

Nora!

It's all his fault! Good work, Anthonsen.

This is a reason for promotion.

Nora! Nora...

Anthon.

This certainly calls for an explanation.

Did I do something wrong again?

It looks as though we'll have to teach the girls how to tell us apart.

To the airport. We're going to Morocco.

S�, s�, se�or.

S�, s�. Nice.

Have you made any plans for tonight?

If you can't tell the difference between Anthon and Benny...

I we will have to fix it.

And the contract? Contract?

Oh, I have it here.

And it's signed, all right. Good.

I didn't doubt it, my dearest Benny.