Original subtitles

Some people say that ghosts do exist.

Some people say that ghosts do not exist.

But I say... Hui Buh is a ghost.

And what a ghost I am.

There is nothing more terrifying.

Well, except maybe...

I do have a problem with witches.

You might even say

I have an intolerance towards them.

And witches are at their worst

when you have them in the family.

- Stop! Don't move. - This way.

Darn! Every time.

Get inside.

Keep going.

Left.

We're trapped!

You'll have to look after it now. You'll be fine.

I...

Go on, hide!

Under the bed.

Go to Hui Buh, in Burgeck Castle.

What about you? We were taking it to Diandra in the Witches' Woods.

Too dangerous. You can't go alone.

I'll lead them the wrong way. Promise me, you'll go to Hui Buh.

Erla, nice to see you.

I guessed it was you by the gentle knocking.

- Give it to me. - I don't have it.

Where is that girl of yours?

She'll be with Diandra by now. Don't waste your time here.

We both know your time is running out. Whatever spin you put on it.

Take her away!

Thank you.

25km to Burgeck Castle, the haunt of the spookiest spook.

Haunted dinner premiere tonight!

HUI BUH AND THE WITCH'S CASTLE

BURGECK CASTLE THE HAUNT OF THE SPOOKIEST SPOOK

THE ONLY OFFICIALLY APPROVED GHOST IN BURGECK CASTLE

- My bad. - Stop! Stop! Arrête!

I told you to take your 'ead off

before the 'orrible ghostly 'owling.

Oh, yes. Of course. First my head, then the howling.

- Oui! - I'm a bit nervous about the premiere.

- Yeah, let's say it's nerves. - Right. Be honest, Charles. How was I?

It was a Titanic performance. A disaster, of course.

Oh, thanks!

Qu'est-ce que c'est?

Merde! The first guests. Where is 'is Majesty?

- Hey, it's starting, Julius! Oh, dear. - The first guests are here.

- Jule! Merde! Qu'est-ce que tu fais? - It's our grand premiere!

Are you ready to put in a royal appearance?

No, but I won't get any readier.

- Poppycock. - Come on.

It'll be a sensation. The spookiest dinner ever!

I will let you have one attempt.

If this goes wrong, there will be no more.

Don't worry. The premiere will go down a storm.

I can see the headlines.

"Spooky Hui Buh sets the haunting bar sky-high."

If you say so. How did your rehearsal go?

So well.

Why did I let myself in for this?

Maybe so we don't 'ave to use the furniture for 'eating.

Of course you're right, Charles.

What have I got to lose? My marriage is over, my fortune is gone.

You still have me.

- And I still have you. - Yes.

Okay, let's get it over with before I change my mind.

You'll thank me later. Remember what I said.

Sorry! My bad!

If only I hadn't lived so healthily in my youth, I might hope to die early.

- Come on, Charles. - Mon Dieu!

I'm fine.

I have to be.

Honored...

Excuse me. Honored guests.

This event is not for the faint-hearted.

In just a few minutes...

Pardon.

In just a few minutes, haunting hour begins.

It's seven minutes past five.

- Oh, really? - Young man...

This is part of a grand show, a dramatic element.

- It's light outside. - And that fish isn't fresh.

Even if the menu says so. That's reality.

Get used to it.

Great. I've lost my thread.

Uh... Where was I?

- Sir Balduin the knight. - Ah, yes. That's right.

More than 500 years ago,

proud Sir Balduin was brutally murdered here at Burgeck Castle.

Since that day, he has haunted these walls

in the form of a spirit known as Hui Buh.

He appears every night at... haunting hour.

HALBARD II CHANDELIER

DOOR

That's supposed to be scary?

How about some soup?

- Give me that pumpkin. - My head!

Give it back, you villain!

- The joke's over. Give it back. - Sure. Here you are.

Spooking hell! Julius, should I start over?

All right. I'll get it for you.

Julius? Is that you?

At least it can't get any worse...

Where am I?

Jules!

I'm stuck...

Someone? Help me out?

Look. This place isn't haunted.

It's a con.

- We came all that way for this? - Quite outrageous.

We won't put up with this. Come on, son. We're leaving.

One moment! I'm nearly there now.

- The show will be worth the wait. - My God!

I've rarely witnessed anything so pathetic.

You're a king, for pity's sake!

Yeah, I... I'm recently separated. I've let myself go.

Put it this way: I need the money.

- Separated? - Mm.

Keep your chin up. You'll be all right.

Things'll turn out.

Where am I? Julius?

There. I told you so. I've frightened them all away.

Though next time you should mention

that I'm the only approved ghost here.

Next... Next time?

Yes.

Next time you should just kill me first. I'm going to make ghostmeat out of you.

Yes?

- Is this the haunt of spooky Hui Buh? - I'm sorry, my dear.

The show's over.

- Where are your parents? - That's why I'm here. I need his help.

You need help? From Hui Buh? Come inside...

- Don't let her in! - Uh...

That's a little girl who needs our help. What the devil's got into you?

Didn't you see? Her eyes!

- She's a witch! - A w...?

- Everything will be all right now. - Let go!

Who are you? You can't break in here and hug strange ghosts.

I'm just so glad I found you.

I'm Ophelia, your niece.

Uh, niece?

Hui Buh is your... uncle?

I'd say so, yes.

Uncle Hui.

I haven't heard from Maria in a century.

Okay, so that's nothing unusual. But now you show up, alone.

And claim to be her daughter. Seems fishy.

- That's my mother, and that's me. - That's Maria.

That proves nothing.

If Maria is your mother, you must know

her birth date.

March 13th, 1373.

- Favorite food? - Apple pie.

- Blood type? - AB negative.

- Polka troupe? - Trick question.

- She hates polka. - There. Learned by rote!

- She has something to hide. - So, your sister is a witch?

The black sheep of the family. She cheats at cards.

- That's how she got into witch school. - So it runs in the family. And...

- Where is your mother now? - We had to run away. From evil Erla.

But she found us and abducted Mom.

- Maria abducted? What are you saying? - You must help me save her.

Of course we will help you.

Who is this Erla, and what does she want with your mother?

I'll show you. If you promise to help me.

Mon Dieu!

What the 'eck 'appened 'ere?

And who is this young mademoiselle?

Charles, we have a guest.

Could you conjure up something to eat?

- You're probably hungry, right? - Of course, Your Majesty.

N'est pas de problème. Après vous.

Voilà!

- Promise not to tell. - Don't keep us in suspense.

King's honor.

I will be as silent as... as this baguette.

Russian nesting suitcases. Not bad.

- Almost as good as my moldy trunk. - I know it's beside the point.

- But where can I buy such a case? - Charles!

My mother got it in Russia. She... won it.

Sure. She "won" it.

- And that's what this Erla is after? - No.

- She wants this. - And what's in there?

Mom and some other witches took it from Erla years ago.

- She mustn't get it back. - That's...

- ...the Necronomicon! - Le Necronomicon?

- The famous book of magic? - May I touch?

Please, please, please.

- Thanks. - Careful! It can...

...cover the world in darkness.

- Spread horror and fear. Lovely! - Sounds great.

Yes, it has its drawbacks for you.

Is this a marriage proposal or something? I can't breathe!

Oh, I'm sorry. May I introduce myself? Buh, Hui Buh.

Hui what?

Hui Buh. The only officially approved ghost here.

I'm your biggest fan. You're a legend.

I hear that so much! "You're a legend.

You're the darkest book of magic. I'm your biggest fan."

But I really am. Look!

My Necronomicon fan club card, scarf, toilet paper and sticker album.

- There's a sticker album? - Absolutely!

As my biggest fan, I'll let you in on a secret. Take a look at page 666.

That'll give you the magic you need

if you're looking for a bit less "hui" and a lot more "buh."

More "buh"?

More terrifying than any creature in this world or the next.

- How does that sound to you? - Oh, that sounds marv....

You must never use this book!

- It'll lead you astray, bring calamity. - Just one tiny peek...

- Right. One peek can't hurt... - Stop now.

The magic in that book is very old and very evil.

Erla used it to steal life from other witches.

And since she lost the book she's running out of time?

- Uh... - And she...

- And she's getting nervous? - She'd do anything to get it back.

What was that?

It sounded like a window smashing.

If he weren't 'ere...

I would 'ave guessed it was our resident ghost.

That's not funny.

- Erla and her witches. - Maybe they followed you.

H... Hang on! Witches? You mean, more than one?

- Did I mention my Wiccaphobia? - What?

My fear of witches. Common among ghosts. They're the only ones who can harm us.

Mom's been a witch since you were small.

Precisely. She made my childhood pretty tough.

Do you get the feeling we're being watched?

Behind you!

The witches! Run!

- Quick! - No escape!

- Ophelia! - Help!

Hui Buh!

After them! They're flying to the belfry.

Quicker, Charles!

Witches, witches! What shall I do?

Oh, of course! I'll be-witch them!

Where is my mother?

You'll never see her again.

If you don't tell me right away where the Necronomicon is!

Baalsuku praesido marukk!

- That was fun, wasn't it? - That was totally spooked out!

- Are you crazy? - It said, "A small defensive spell."

What do they say? "The end justifies the beans."

The means. But otherwise you're absolutely right, biggest fan.

Let's keep...

Didn't you listen? You can't ever use the book!

- Sacré bleu! - The witches?

I frightened them away.

I'll regret asking, but what happened to the wall?

He used the Necronomicon. Now Erla knows we have it.

She'll reduce everything to rubble.

To rubble? My castle?

No, no, Your Majesty. We will fight to the last man.

Good attitude, Charles. A few hysterical witches don't bother you.

- Then I'll take the book... - Easy now, spook boy!

How can we defeat Erla?

Does she have a weak spot? Any powerful enemies?

Diandra.

- Diandra? - Queen of the good witches.

She has a castle in the Witches' Woods. Only she can defeat Erla.

- You have to take me to her. - That's it! One moment...

Almost have it. No. No.

No.

- Here. From the bottom of my heart. - An old broom?

It'll take you in a jiffy to the Witches' Woods and... Diana.

- Diandra. - Exactly.

And that's an offensive stereotype.

- We don't all ride broomsticks. - Maybe you should try harder?

Whatever. Go on foot. I'll take care of the Necronomicon.

Hey!

- I just want to... - Hey!

- I bet on the little girl. - So do I.

If you won't help me save my mom, I'll go on my own.

- And I'll be taking the Necronomicon. - Wait. Of course we'll help.

Ghost's honor.

- Right, Julius? - Oh, now you have honor?

We can't leave the book alone.

I mean, Ophelia.

Ophelia and the book.

- And my dear sister. - Stop it now.

Brooms are uncomfy. I have a better plan.

So you're going to help me?

No one may abduct the sister of my resident ghost

and threaten to reduce my castle to rubble.

Oui!

It's just over there. In the barn.

Your Majesty, if I may. I see that you still miss Madame Konstanzia.

Nonsense. I'm delighted to be rid of her.

A king needs his freedom, Charles.

To conduct state business, for instance.

And to... to...

To... Oh, you know!

- Of course, Your Majesty. - Should I carry your case?

I'm sure it must be... heavy.

- I'm old enough to look after it myself. - Sure.

- How old are you? - I'm 99. I turn 100 in December.

Hmm. Well preserved.

It's very young for a witch.

- Wow! - A biplane!

A Royal Aircraft Factory SE5.

200 horsepower, wingspan of eight meters, eleven centimeters,

and a top speed of 222 kilometers per hour.

The two of us have gone through many adventures together.

Unfortunately the old girl only has two seats.

Mon capitaine! You can't fly without me!

- Someone has to look after the castle. - But, mon président!

Who will look after you?

I'll be back before long.

What about me? Am I coming along as hand baggage?

Well, you could call it... the first-class compartment for ghosts.

THE WITCHES' WOODS

- Everything all right up there? - Amazing views!

I didn't know the woods were so big.

Oh, yes. The views in here are amazing too.

I won't give the service on this airline a good review.

- Be so good as to remain in your seat. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Witches below!

- This is the edge of the Witches' Woods. - Strange.

They must hear us, but they're not paying us any attention!

I'll stay as high as possible.

Something's brewing.

We usually only gather on special occasions.

Like Walpurgis Night.

Hui Buh.

- Did you hear that? - Hear what?

Well, the... Oh, nothing.

- Hey, biggest fan. - Yes?

I know what you want.

- To be the spookiest spook. - Oh, yes. I do want that.

- Forget about your friends. - Forget my friends?

- Right. - Stop it!

- What the... - Uh-oh!

- Oh no. - The tank was full!

The engine!

Ophelia, a spell!

Movere leviosa!

- Oops! - Goggles on! Hold tight!

Emergency landing!

- That was wild! - You can say that again.

- Are you all right? - I'm fine.

- Next time I'll bring a neck pillow. - Sorry, old girl. I'll fix you up again.

It's pretty spooky here.

- You might want to be invisible. - Good idea.

No more magic.

We don't need a horde of peasants chasing us with torches and pitchforks.

That's true. The running is quite tiresome.

And being burned at the stake isn't as cozy as it sounds.

Don't you think it's weird no one here is interested in our little plane crash?

Very weird.

There's an inn back there. Let's go.

"The Rusty Pentagram."

Doesn't that sound inviting?

Pentagrams ward off evil.

- As do these signs. - The people here must be superstitious.

Leave the talking to me. I speak the language of the common man.

What are you waiting for? There's good grub in here.

We'd better get inside then. Before he causes trouble.

I wish you a very good evening, my good men.

Charming village you have here.

Well met, my good fellow. You must be the innkeeper.

Extraordinarily cozy place you keep.

I'm afraid to say that we crashed our plane.

An unfortunate mishap. And now we need a room and a meal.

So there's no misunderstanding, I'm talking about aircraft

not about witchcraft.

That wouldn't fly with us.

Can you understand me?

My mom was abducted by witches.

- Ophelia! - Goodness me. What did you say?

- Abducted by witches? How awful. - Yes.

She's a witch too. But a good one.

We want to save her. We must go to Diandra and ask for her help.

Some good witches vanished from here too.

Strange, isn't it? Something is going on out there in the woods.

That's why we're being more careful than ever.

All right, then.

Come on in. Have a seat. Come along.

I'll bring some food.

And then you can tell me about it. Right, my lovelies.

My name is Andrej, and I'll be taking care of you this evening.

Here. For the main course, I recommend the leg of duck.

It comes in a tangy sage and lemon sauce.

But I'd like to keep the dessert a surprise.

Well...

Perfect.

Oh, what the hey! It's a white chocolate and mint mousse.

- I just can't keep a secret. - Yeah, I'm the same.

Oh, and tell your ghost he's welcome to sit with you.

Hello? What's up with you guys?

We live on the edge of the Witches' Woods.

He's not our first undead guest.

How about that. It's so nice here.

Right, my dears.

This line of salt by the window will keep evil forces at bay.

- Thank you. - A bit of salt will keep witches away?

Shouldn't we at least add a little pepper to it?

Or chili?

You're quite the firebrand. Make sure it doesn't get broken, okay?

There's one more thing. Our plane is outside.

We don't want the witches to know we crash landed here.

I'll get a few strong boys together

and we'll roll it into the courtyard.

Hui Buh, take care of Ophelia. And no haunting.

- Ghost's honor. - The other way around, I think.

- Ophelia, take care of Hui Buh. - Thanks, Julius.

- Into the courtyard. - Thank you for this. It's really...

Did you hear that?

- Mom talked about you. - Really?

Yes. She said that you are a layabout and a rascal.

- But you can be trusted in a pinch. - Did she mention how spooky I am?

No. She said you're the funniest ghost in the world.

That's...

funny.

- Did I say something wrong? - Oh, no...

No, I mean...

To be honest, Maria is probably right. I...

I'm a joke.

Hui Buh, I didn't mean it like that.

I don't care if you're spooky. You're my absolute favorite ghost.

Thanks, but...

You wouldn't understand. I...

- What's that? - Oh, I have to feed the puppies.

Puppies in the suitcase?

I always travel with puppies. So I don't feel lonely.

Meet Brutus, Knirps, Ronja, Oskar, Lotte and U...

Uwe?

He always runs off.

Uwe!

Uwe! Where have you gone this time?

The funniest ghost in the world.

I could probably do with a few puppies too.

Hui Buh.

Hey, biggest fan.

No one can get in our way now.

I can't. I promised.

Just one little peek. No one need know about it.

- Just do it. - Oh, a quick peek really can't hurt.

You have to...

- Here he is. - Who?

- Uwe! - He ran down into the dining area.

What a scamp.

- Uwe is the naughtiest of all. - Naughty Uwe.

I have to go to the little ghosts' room.

Okay.

That wasn't so difficult, was it?

- Hui Buh! Help me! - Ophelia!

Help! Hui Buh!

Ophelia!

- Where's Ophelia? - There! I can't pass through the door.

- Because of the signs. - Help!

- What? Oh! - Ah!

- Help! - Ophelia!

- Help! - No!

Out of my way!

- Erla! - The case with the Nec...

Forget about that girl if you want to go on living.

I only stepped out briefly.

You were supposed to take care of her!

You told her to take care of me.

Now Ophelia is gone and Erla has the book.

Uh... Well, the book is...

The book is... Uh...

- Yes? - ...not important right now.

- What matters now is Ophelia! - How could the witches break the line?

None of that matters right now!

We have to follow them at once!

You're right for once. Where might Erla take her?

No one knows where Erla can be found. All who tried never came back.

The only one who can help us now is Diandra.

The path behind the gates leads into the Witches' Woods.

That's where Diandra's castle is.

A gorgeous location.

But beware.

Countless horrors lurk in the Witches' Woods.

Never fear! Where I come from, I'm considered quite a horror myself.

You're priceless! The little guy is unbelievable!

Now listen, you philistine!

I think it's time for us to get going.

Could you send this telegram to Charles Balmain at Burgeck Castle?

- Of course. - Thank you.

- Good luck, boys! - Yeah...

Do come again.

We have a delectable vegan brunch every Sunday!

Ciao!

- Ciao! - Ciao!

- Ciao! - Yeah, bye.

Hurry up! My time is trickling away!

My patience has come to an end.

- Where is the Necronomicon? - My patience has come to an end too.

Where is my mother, you monster?

She will pay for every insolent answer

that you give me!

Oh, dear.

- I think we took a wrong turning. - Great.

- Well, what now? - Good question.

"Diandra's Castle"?

Someone's trying to stop people finding it.

I think they want to stop us finding it.

Hang on!

Do you smell that?

A gingerbread house?

Awesome.

I thought you'd swiped some cookies.

Maybe we've found Erla's lair.

- Let's get closer. - Only look at it.

- Of course. - No biting chunks off that house.

- Is that clear? - Not a single nibble?

Let's follow it. Before it scoots off.

- What the heck? - Ow!

Darn! Ghost-proof again!

We're caught in a trap!

Ah! Set by the good, old wicked Gingerbread Witch.

- She'll fatten us up and roast us! - Shut it. I don't do that anymore.

The fattening up or the roasting? I wouldn't mind the first part.

The roasting part. That's nothing but bad karma.

I've been reading this book.

It says that prevented me from making friends.

- Maybe that smartass author was right. - Then why the cage?

To protect myself, brainbox.

Strange things have been happening in the Witches' Woods recently.

It's probably that stupid cow Erla up to no good.

That stupid cow Erla?

- Do you know where we might find her? - What do you want with her? Spit it out!

Erla has abducted my niece and my sister.

- We want to ask Diandra for help. - Do you know the way to her castle?

I'll do a deal with you.

I'll tell you the way to Diandra

if you come in for some coffee and cake.

- I rarely get visitors. - You have cake?

Of course, you dunce! Look at my house!

- She has cake! - If not here, where else, huh?

How do you like my hut's legs?

I won them off that newbie Baba Yaga in a game of witches' bingo. Here.

"Making Friends for Dummies"?

If you want to make friends, maybe rein in the insults?

Witch Tourette's runs in my family, pea-brain!

Oh, I see.

Why did Erla abduct the girl and her mom?

- She wants the Necronomicon. - Well, nibble my nuts!

- She mustn't get her hands on it. - I fear she already has.

That's not good. That's not at all good. That's horrifying.

That's no good at all. Not good.

Excuse me, what are you doing?

What does it look like? I'm packing the house ready to go.

- Things'll fly when it starts running. - Packing?

- Running? - You couple of duds!

You don't understand what's at stake!

If Erla has the Necronomicon, life will get very uncomfortable.

She'll open the door to the Underworld

and steal the life energy from everyone here.

So I'm leaving the Witches' Woods, and you should do the same.

Open the gate to the Underworld?

The more I hear, the less I like it.

Tell your niece and sister that too.

They'll be the first. Oh, I need some sugar.

Well...

Are you warm too, or is it just me?

I need some fresh air.

Hey, biggest fan.

You have to help me. Erla has abducted Maria and Ophelia.

- She wants to steal their life energy! - So? What's the problem?

Can't you just magic them here?

We have to work on your attitude, pal.

Do you want to be the spookiest spook or not?

- Super-naturally. - Then listen.

The others stand in your way. They want to keep you down.

But you've already realized that yourself.

But Julius is my friend.

Oh, yes? Would a friend make you fly as hold baggage?

Oh, that's just a bit of fun between buddies.

- I don't mind that. - Ah.

So it was just a bit of fun at the dinner

when he gave you no credit as Burgeck's spookiest spook?

You're right. That was mean.

Hang on. How do you know about that?

I'm the most magical book in the world. But what are you?

It's about time people started treating you with respect.

You're right. I will get myself some spooking respect!

- Hui Buh? - Julius!

Were you talking to someone?

Talking? Me?

Why are you always so mistrustful?

Because everything you do ends up in a big old mess.

- For everyone around you. - You just want to keep me down!

- Call yourself my friend? - Fart-faces, going to Diandra's castle?

- I don't have all night. - "Fart-faces" is my cue!

- So, there it is. Get lost now. - Gladly.

- We're very grate... - Shut your silly mouth.

Good luck.

Do you think they'll let us in?

- I'll unleash some royal charm. - And I'll make myself invisible.

It's better than peeing in my pants.

I don't have a change of clothes. Why not, I wonder?

Oh, let's turn back and pack our cases.

No?

That's pretty creepy!

They clearly keep a tight lid on security.

Hello... everyone.

We... I would like to see Diandra.

Witches. Witches everywhere.

Hello there.

Glad to meet you.

- Hui Buh. I need you here. - I can't do it, Julius.

- Right now. - Oh, I'm going to regret this.

Which one is Diandra?

I expect she's old, wrinkled, covered in warts.

With breath that makes your eyes sting.

Then I hope you're not too disappointed.

Wow.

Not at all, Your Majesty.

- I am... - King Julius the 111th.

- And Hui Buh, ghost of Burgeck. - She knows me.

- Fancy that. - Welcome.

We rarely have royal visitors.

Let us toast the occasion.

A welcome cocktail?

Certainly. Thank you.

Well, this is a surprise.

Yummy.

I must say, you are very well informed.

As a queen, I have to be.

I must tell you, my dear Julius,

I've heard so much about you.

- But the stories don't do you justice. - Oh, you flatter me, my dear.

- Are you single? - Yes.

No. Although... Yes, I am. As of recently.

Keep your brain on track, buddy. There are more important matters.

Yes, you're right, of course.

- We're here because Erla... - ...abducted little Ophelia.

The news has spread like wildfire.

And she has Ophelia's mother. Your sister.

She's got all the facts, huh?

- Could you tell us where Erla took them? - Unfortunately not.

The most urgent question is: Where is the Necronomicon?

I'll need it to stop Erla's evil plans.

Uwe?

Is there a problem?

No, no. Everything's fine.

So, the Necronomicon.

Erla mustn't get her hands on it.

That's part of the problem. Erla took it when she abducted Ophelia.

Right. That Erla.

Always good for a surprise.

But it's time we got going.

- What's the urgency? - Ha! He's forgotten.

We have an appointment with...

- Uwe. - Uwe? Who's Uwe?

You know? Uwe. I'll explain it to you on the way.

- Arrivederci! Thanks for the drinks. - The drinks...

...are a truth serum.

A truth...

A... Oh, yes...

Indeed. I do feel rather strange.

Hey. That's not fair.

Stop playing games.

Erla.

And now you will tell me the truth!

Okay.

If I were you, I'd have kept Diandra's looks.

- You're so ugly. - Ugly's not the word.

You owe damages to anyone who looks at you. Did I say that?

The truth serum is working, I see.

So...

Where is the Necronomicon?

- I thought you had it. - Would I bother with you scum if I did?

Good point. If somewhat impolitely formulated.

Just now she seemed to find you rather attractive.

- Witches... - Witches...

What is it that you're holding back?

Julius.

Oh, many things.

Mainly how lonely and empty I've been since Konstanzia left.

I tell everyone how happy I am she's gone

and that I need my freedom, but it's a lie.

I still love her. Just look...

Isn't she beautiful? My queen.

My sunshine.

Cease this sentimental drivel! I want to know right away...

How could we have drifted apart? It was all my fault.

I worked too much and spent too little time with her.

- Now my life has come apart. - Ah?

I drink, I've let myself go, I gambled away my fortune.

- What is this claptrap you're talking? - The truth! Nothing but the truth.

The only things holding me together are Charles and Hui Buh.

Is that true, Julius?

Yes, of course.

You're a pest.

And an absolutely pathetic ghost. But you're my best friend.

And without you I would have left Burgeck years ago.

You're so right.

I'm the biggest loser in the phantom world.

But you have always stuck by me.

You're my best friend, and I am proud to haunt pathetically in your presence.

- Come here, you old ghost, you. - Yes.

Shut up, the pair of you!

And you, McSpook!

Where is the Necronomicon?

Oh. Oh, that's here.

I took it from Ophelia and have been hiding it in my armor the whole time.

Why couldn't you just tell me that right away?

You... You... You did what?

I thought it was a good idea.

- Quite the contrary. - Take them to the dungeons!

Come on!

No! Oh!

I could kill you, but I can't even do that!

Yes!

Erla, my evil one. At last. I was expecting that loser of a ghost.

- Julius, I can explain everything. - Save your breath.

I get it. Okay.

- On the count of three? - Okay. One last time. Three.

- Are you still mad? - I'm not mad.

Head!

- I'm furious! - Oh, really?

Come on! I'll make up for it, Julius. Quick!

Get on!

Come on!

- Darn! - Stop!

Hold on!

Hui Buh!

We certainly showed them.

- We're a great team! - Team?

We...

What kind of... What kind of team are we?

You lied to us!

It's your fault evil Erla has the Necronomicon

and will rob life energy from good witches!

- But we'll save them all. Together! - Together?

You didn't care about Ophelia, Maria or me!

- I just wanted... - Yes, you wanted to be spooky.

- Shall I tell you what you really were? - No.

Stupid!

Selfish!

Irresponsible!

And worst of all, you were a bad friend.

This is how our teamwork will be now.

I'll save Ophelia and Maria and you stay out of my way.

I never want to see you again. You disappointment.

You losers will never defeat Erla

if you don't stick together.

- Old Gingerbread. - I thought you wanted to leave the wood?

Shut up and listen, blob-brain.

I read something in this dumbass book.

It says, "A friend in need is a friend indeed."

And so I thought to myself,

if I help out you couple of nobodies,

there might be a whatchamacallit

between us, a...

bonding, you know?

- And then we'll be real friends. - You see, Julius?

"A friend in need is a friend indeed."

Only you're the source of the need.

- Right. - Don't walk out on us, dum-dum.

We can only defeat Erla and save your friends if we work together.

Or...

do you want to leave them in the lurch?

Besides the fact that Erla will cover the Earth in a cloak of darkness.

Fine. We'll save them and get the book.

After that, I'll leave Burgeck and start a new life.

You can go plague someone else.

That wasn't so hard, was it, you boneheads?

Come on, let's go smash Erla.

Smash, yeah.

Here! This is my most hideous item of clothing.

- I said it wouldn't work. - You were right.

- The bad witches will rip you to shreds. - We need to be more optimistic.

What if Erla asks him to perform a spell?

- You thought of that, wise guy? - That's easy!

We do something similar in our spook show.

Cast a spell, Julius.

Go on!

If you leave out the "hoo hoo" junk, it just might work. Hang on.

This here might help.

It's my last one.

What is it?

Is it a...

- A magic cookie? - Go on, down the hatch.

Tastes nasty.

That's because it's made mainly from bat poop.

- But I added a little cinnamon. - Thanks for that.

Bat poop harbors great power.

No, the whole cookie. And chew it well.

Or the magic won't work.

Witchcraft is for connoisseurs.

That's the nastiest thing I've ever eaten in my entire life.

- What? - That's...

I hope for your sake the magic is pretty darn good.

Peppermint?

I think it's beginning.

I'd say so.

- Well, that's... - Incredible.

Incredibly ugly.

May I?

- I like you much better that way. - Oh yeah?

Yes. But now, hurry.

The magic usually holds a few hours, but the cookie was stale.

- So you never know. - Yes, so it would seem.

Now don't make a fuss, princess.

- Here. - Fantastic.

Let's go. We'll discuss the details on the way.

So, we sneak inside, find the dungeon, free Ophelia and Maria.

We use the element of surprise, grab the Necronomicon, and that's that.

You're going to die.

- And I'll keep watch out here. - Don't we have a Plan B?

Plan B? Well...

If I don't hear from you in an hour, I'll scram.

- Well, here goes nothing. - That's what I'm afraid of.

See you around.

You dummies never seen a witch before? Stop eyeballing and let me in!

Not bad! You could easily be Gingerbread's sister...

Shh! These doors have more than just eyes.

That you always have to complain to get something done!

Skull of snake.

- Ashes of corpse. - What's cooking? A magic potion?

No, a four-course meal.

Yes, a magic potion. Probably to access the Underworld.

And what do they need all those little piggies for?

No idea.

Come on.

Hobble a bit quicker, before that cookie wears off.

We have a new guest.

Sister, would you do us the honor of introducing yourself to us all?

Who, m...

- Who, me? - What is your name?

- Honored sister witch. - My name...

My name?

My name.

My name is...

Thingy...

- Majig. - Thingy Majig?

Thingy Majig.

It was my mother's idea. She was very forgetful.

I have never heard of you before, Sister Thingy Majig.

- Oh, well. - Come...

forward.

Come forward...

Of course.

Gladly.

And now... make your offering.

My offering. Of course.

I did have it with me somewhere. My offering...

- Now. - Well, you know, at my age... Ah!

No.

Here.

Could take hours...

A...

salami-flavored candy stick.

That will definitely open the door to Hell. Right?

Salami flavor? That isn't mentioned in here.

Have we overlooked something?

Ah, chuck it in. It sounds good and it can't hurt.

Chuck it in.

There's... something...

I don't like about you, Sister Thingy Majig.

Let go of me, hamster brains!

I have witches' rights!

- You can't detain me here, poopfaces! - We found her lurking outside.

- She was watching the castle. - Oh, if it isn't my old friend.

The Gingerbread Witch. What were you doing out there?

Farting around in the woods. What are you doing?

- Smells like my shoe cupboard. - What is going on with you?

Excuse me. Incontinence calls.

I gotta go! To the little witches' room.

Before I make a big mess here.

- What are you doing here? - I could ask the same, hooded crow.

- That was close. - It certainly was.

- Let's find the dungeon. - Walk through the walls and check?

These walls are spook-proof. I can't beat witchcraft.

Where is Diandra?

Tell me... How old are you?

I expect you have a good few years left in you.

- Four or five hundred, I'd say. - Never ask a lady her age.

Go stuff yourself!

Well, she wanted to go to Diandra.

Take her to her and the others.

That hideous hag. She's turned the good witches into pigs.

Not so stupid. They don't pose a threat to her that way.

Fetch Ophelia and her mother.

We're nearly ready.

- The door. - What about it?

Get the other prisoner. I'll wait here.

There she is.

I'll distract the guards. You go invisible and set them free.

- And then? - Then I'll come back and...

- We'll improvise. - That's my specialist area.

- Hello? - Let's see how this works out.

- Get away from the door! - Or what?

- You'll do nothing until Erla says so. - That will be soon.

- Ophelia! - Mom!

- Ophelia! - Erla wants to see you both.

- Mom! - Ophelia!

- Are you okay? - I was worried about you.

Get out. Erla doesn't like to be kept waiting.

- We'll be fine. - Excuse me, ladies!

I came to the cellar looking for wine.

But all I've found is you two wrinkled grapes.

How impudent. Get inside there!

- Let's get him. - Do forgive me.

After him!

That was King Julius. We'll be fine now.

- If he's here, then Hui Buh... - ...can't be far away!

Hui Buh!

- As always, you're in trouble. - I knew you'd help us.

Super-naturally.

Stop!

- Thanks, Hui Buh. - I must say something.

Before Julius returns.

- What do you mean? - It's my fault Erla has the book.

I took it while you were fetching Uwe.

- What? - I only wanted to borrow it.

But then Erla showed up, and... Well...

- Stealing from your own niece. - I know. I've let everyone down.

Just so I could be a spooky spook.

I don't care whether you're spooky. You'll always be my favorite ghost.

- Really? - Really.

We have to get out of here! Quick!

- Let's go! - Your Majesty?

"Julius" will do. The guards are coming.

- I don't know how much time we have. - None.

Not one step further. We've got you now.

- Can't you do some magic? - Without our wands?

Hang on. Look up there!

Charles!

- You got my message then? - Bien sûr, mon capitaine!

- I 'ope I'm not too late? - Perfectly timed, as always.

Non, non. It's just...

Your Majesty, I know how much you sweat in that flight jacket.

You forgot to take along any deodorant.

Oh, that's very. That's really very...

considerate of you.

- Mon Dieu! - The gate to the Underworld!

- We have to get out! - There's no time.

- Let's get out of here! - Move, move!

We're going to need this.

Go!

- Is there another exit? - None I know of.

I have an idea. All of you have to die.

- You become ghosts and turn invisible. - That's what we'll do.

That was sarcasm, right?

Invisible. Hui Buh, that's the right idea!

The guards took my magic powder.

I don't need powder. When I was small I did it with my wand.

Wow. But that's pretty high level.

- Wait, when was that? - Umm...

- Remember when the kitchen blew up? - What? That was you?

- How often have I... - Ladies!

We don't have time for this.

- Where are the prisoners? - One moment, Erla.

How can we be sure we will get our fair share of the life energy?

Right, then. Ophelia, you make us all invisible.

We three will get the pigs. And Hui Buh...

- Grab the book as soon as we're gone. - Got it.

Oui!

After all, each one of us contributed an offering

so we would get more years of life.

How right you are.

Whoever claimed that you can put your trust in me?

You will each get what you deserve.

- It works! - She did it!

Uwe! Get away!

Quiet.

Oops.

You're beginning to get on my nerves. So I'll keep this short.

Hurl them into the cauldron!

Come on, get moving. Come on!

- Nice to see you again. - You.

- You'll be first. - Ophelia!

- No! - Stop!

That is, if you care what happens to this old tome.

- Biggest fan, what are you doing? - Makes you feel warm all over, huh?

- Let my friends go! - What?

- You don't dare! - You're probably right.

But I'm very clumsy and I might drop it in the fire.

I can confirm that. He 'as two left 'ands.

Shut your trap, you! We're in negotiations here.

First of all, you will give the book to me

and then I will let your friends go.

- Don't! She's lying! - With the book, she's unstoppable.

Sounds like a great offer. I advise you to take it up, as my biggest fan.

- Save your friends! - Now I should save them?

I thought they were stopping me becoming the spookiest spook?

But if I were to fling you into the flames,

I'd be a real terror.

Stop! All right!

I'll perform a spell and turn you into the spookiest spook.

Your biggest dream. Everything you ever wanted.

- And my friends can go? - I swear, by the forces of darkness.

Well, "by the forces of darkness" sounds trustworthy.

- Agreed. - Oh!

Give me the book!

Gladly. But first I get my free spell. Now, listen...

You can't be serious!

- You bet your hide I am. - All right, then. I accept your spell.

Much appreciated. Here, Erla. You can have this old tome.

Clatu verata nectu!

What's going on now?

What are you staring at?

Get them!

What's that?

- How did this happen? - All evil magic should turn good.

My free spell. It's what Ophelia would have asked for.

There's nothing I can do. It's valid. For all time.

Then you're nothing but wastepaper!

Congratulations. That's it for the "spookiest spook."

Now you're simply laughable.

I don't mind. My friends think I'm the funniest ghost in the world.

- What more could I want? - He's sacrificed his big dream for us.

Come on, sisters! This isn't over yet!

I was thinking the same thing.

That belongs to me.

My sister.

Erla's magic is over. You're the best, Hui Buh.

Well, nibble my nuts.

Here, little witch. Have this.

Conjure up all sorts of fun things.

- Hang on! - Thank you.

- I want a pink unicorn. - No!

Oh God!

So... I guess I'm not the only one who underestimated you.

- Friends again? - Who else would I nag?

Come here, you.

- To the dungeons with her. - Get up.

No! Get off!

Let go of me!

Get your filthy paws off me! No!

Well, if it isn't my two new best friends.

We were a bunch of lucky swine, weren't we?

I always knew I could count on these no-hopers.

All the good witches owe a debt of gratitude to you.

- What will happen to Erla? - She will receive her just punishment.

Your Majesty, we must go. I have coq au vin in the oven.

You're right, Charles. It's high time... Where's my...

Looking for this?

Thank you, old friend. So...

Right then, Your Highness.

- I hope you will visit us at Burgeck. - I won't miss that opportunity.

- What's the thing with his watch? - I have a plan, sis. Can you help me?

THE HAUNT OF THE FUNNIEST GHOST

Come on, everyone! Say "Squeeeal." Yes!

Bravo! And the next two.

Don't crowd.

- You all get a pic with the funny ghost! - Hey, Uwe!

Vite, vite, mademoiselle! Get in the picture.

Bravo! And...

Hui Buh!

- Yes! - Bravo!

So, next. Go on.

Your Majesty, may I speak with you a moment?

But of course.

During our adventure together, I noticed something.

I... Of course, you're right. I'm not blind.

You're a beautiful woman, and I am...

Well, a king.

- Well, if I'm honest... - Please, say no more.

I truly feel very flattered.

And under different circumstances, I would not be averse, but...

my heart belongs to another.

I know that.

Everyone knows that, my old blueblooded pal. And...

she missed you too.

But... But... But... How... How...

It was Hui Buh's idea. I just called her.

Someone had to take the first step.

Jack! Jack!

- I'm so... - I'm so...

- I just wanted... - I just wanted...

- You first. - No, you.

How did you manage that?

- Some sort of trick, no doubt. - Yeah.

That's how we do things in this family.

Jack! Let's get this.

My queen!

- And, flash! - Hui Buh!

Was the camera running?

- Where are the witches? - Sacré bleu!

Start again?

Sorry. "Sacré bleu" first. Keep it running.

- Sacré bleu! - Where are the witches?

Isn't that truly horrifying?

- Sorry, I've lost my thread. - My mistake.

- Precisely. - Our spook show has something similar.

Can we set that up again? I'll stand here.

Spooking hell!

Hey, Julius, should we start over again?

I'm stuck in here. Can someone please help me out?

You don't know the way to Diandra's castle?

Is this some sort of dumb test?

I've fallen in love with myself.

- How is it possible? - I think Hui... ha-de-ha...

Your Majesty, I'm afraid we have to leave...

Sorry. I had a little...

My teeth developed a life of their own. Forgive me.

Does she have a weak spot? Any powerful friends?

- Powerful enemies. - Let's do that again.

I'm so strong, guys.

It's because of those Czech vegetables.

If Erla gets the Necroconicom... What's it called?

I... Oh! Grrr! Sorry. I apologize!

There it is!

Nibble my nuts!

Ni du-bi-du. Let's start again.

I included a little Kazachok.

I didn't know what to do.

I need a spine massage.

Okay.

Everyone gets a photo with the funny ghost!

How does it work again? I 'ate this technology!

Bravo!

And? How was I?

No Limits Media 2022 Subtitles: Heather Kimber et al.