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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:04,320 WOMAN: Good morning! 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:07,600 I'm Maureen MacIntyre, and we have got a... 3 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:17,600 Golden Waves Radio. 4 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,080 That's Maureen's Magical Mornings. 5 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,160 Use salt instead of sugar. 6 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,840 Could you imagine that? I mean, imagine that! 7 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:27,880 Or maybe, like me, you've tried to chop a tomato with a blunt knife. 8 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,680 Good Lord, how banal. We'd like to hear your anecdote. 9 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,880 Give us a call. I've got an anecdote. 10 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:34,880 Remember when I ran out of soy sauce? 11 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:36,920 Oh, I remember that, Dad. Classic story. 12 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,640 Helen, hurry up, please. I need to make an announcement. 13 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,240 Good morning. Reporting in for the big announcement. 14 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:44,320 Finally. 15 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,000 Well, today is the official opening of Conch Mediation Services. 16 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,560 Or this. No, don't be silly. 17 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,560 We're gonna need that for tea. Yeah, sorry. 18 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,080 Mind you, who's gonna need tea 19 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,760 now that we've got George Clooney-grade expresso? 20 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,440 Helen, what are you doing? Hey. 21 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,480 Yes, they're prepared to risk it. 22 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,440 Can you see it? Is it on the roof? (PIGEON COOING) 23 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,320 I prepared your mother's will, God rest her soul. 24 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,680 Oh, no rest for Mum's soul, I'm afraid. 25 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:50,960 She's downstairs. 26 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,600 Do you know Jesus, Mrs Gruber? 27 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,240 No-one knows him, mate. Shut up. 28 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:10,920 What? 29 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,720 I don't know, like Ratsak, but for pigeons? 30 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,480 Jesus Christ, Fisk, we don't want to kill it. 31 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,440 Yeah, we just want to encourage it to move on. 32 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:17,520 OK, sorry. Spikes? 33 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:18,760 Helen, that's barbaric. 34 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,520 Oh, I'm not saying you stick its head on a spike. 35 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:22,720 Flashing lights? 36 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,280 Well, well, well, we meet again. 37 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,720 Oh, hey! Men's Shed man. 38 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,240 Howard. Howard Muzzin. 39 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:16,960 Thought I might run into you. 40 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,320 I've been here since six. 41 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,680 Have you? Have you got a dog? 42 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:20,720 No, but you do. 43 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,280 Yes. 44 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,480 Kokaw! Rowr! 45 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:36,120 Now, we do share kitchen and bathroom facilities, 46 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:51,040 And there's a pretty penny to be made, too. 47 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,320 Hallelujah, praise his name. Let's go. 48 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,280 She's developing quite the attitude. I don't like it. 49 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,280 I think you might need to back off a bit. 50 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,560 Me? I meant we. Both of us. 51 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,800 She's turned out to be a pretty good probate lawyer. 52 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,240 Well, I was her mentor. Exactly. 53 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,160 And the mentee is now mented. 54 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,280 That is not a word. 55 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:03,440 Munted? 56 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:06,880 Point is, I think you and I - we - 57 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,520 Pigeons. 58 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,160 Some people have called them the rats of the sky, 59 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,440 and other cultures worship them. 60 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:01,920 What do I think? 61 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,600 Well, I think they're just nice. 62 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:04,920 Thanks for watching Fisk. 63 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:06,280 (LAUGHS) 64 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:07,520 Captions by Red Bee Media 65 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,000 Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation 4432

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