Original subtitles

Hey, hey! What's up? This your boy Mark Curry.

Check it out.

what happened last season

on Blindspotting.

Do you want me to get you a toothbrush or a toiletries

or anything?

No, I'm not going to summer camp, baby--I'm going to jail.

At San Quentin, if you're married,

you get to spend two whole nights together in a house.

I now pronounce you husband aife.

Cuddie, this is my platonic life partner, Jacque.

Jacqueline, I see you down there.

My burrito!

Why is he in jail? He'll miss my birthday!

Welcome back to the ordeal.

Hey!

Oh!

Bro, what the fuck are y'all doing?

Town business, Oakland-- you know how we do it.

Blindspotting, what? Season two.

Ooh, yes, my guys.

Appreciate y'all, man.

iGracias a todos!

Hey! Happy birthday, my boy.

Dad, you know Spanish?

Yeah. Of cour-- No, I don't know Spanish, man.

I learned that song back in high school

for tía Trish's quinceañera.

That's why I know some of the words,

but that was a real mariachi band, though.

They pretty good, right?

They all got arrested together.

It was a bank robbery or some shit.

Anyway, hey, Mom, you got, uh--

You got Sean's birthday present I made him?

- Yep. - What is it?

Man, I can't tell you that--it's a surprise.

But anyway, look, I'm running out of minutes on this phone,

so, uh, hand the phone back to your mom for a second.

I need to speak to her.

Love you, Dad.

Love you, my boy.

See you in two weeks for the first family visit.

Yes, you will,

'cause, girl, when you get here in two weeks,

we are about to--

Everybody can hear you on speakerphone!

Hey! - Hi, Miles.

- What up, Miles? - Man, I don't give a fuck.

Sean, earmuffs.

I'm about to get so far up in them cheeks...

No, no, no. Hey, hey, hey!

Turn it down.

Turn the volume down.

Married sex-- in that thing.

First of all, if you calm down--

I know what to do! - Freaky lizard or some shit.

Anyway, I got to do, like, a military crawl,

- and then you on the couch-- - Turn off the car or something.

I concur with the previously mentioned activities,

and we will proceed with the said itinerary

in two weeks.

I love you.

Goodbye, sir.

Ash?

All right. Uh, I love you.

What the fuck you looking at?

Y'all so nasty.

All right, everybody get out.

So the theme of this birthday is cars, jets, and trains?

I thought he was into bugs now?

Oh, he loves bugs. Won't shut up about 'em.

No, it's planes, trains, and automobiles.

When did you decide this?

We, uh, talked about it a month ago,

and he's 100% sure.

- Hey, Sean. - Huh?

What do you like more--

planes, trains, or automobiles?

Ninja bugs.

What?

- Yeah, rookie. - That's a rookie mistake.

- It's okay. - First parents' mistakes.

You got to pivot when you hear the word "bugs."

Whatever. I'll just get him on board.

We- we're- e're fine.

- We've got karaoke... - Hiya!

- Hiya! - We have food for kids.

And we have liquor for the adults,

and we have games!

And we even have a carousel,

and we have a steam train reserved just for--

just for us today!

And--and Trish is gonna bring a piñata!

Whoa, Ash, breathe, okay?

It's just, um...

it's his first birthday without his dad,

and I just need everything to go perfectly.

Hiya!

Oh, my God. Sean!

Oh, God, stop!

Ah, shit. Ash, your car just got bipped.

What?

How?

They didn't even take anything!

Oh, look at all this glass.

Uh-uh. Help! Help me!

- No, no, no! - Nelle, you ain't gonna help?

Oh, shit, my bad. No, no, no, no!

My keys! Oh, damn.

♪ Foxy little girl In Oakland ♪

♪ Something like I never Never seen before ♪

♪ Foxy little girl In Oakland ♪

♪ Something like I never Never seen before ♪

♪ Whoa now ♪

♪ Foxy little girl in Oakland ♪

♪ Like she never Never been next door ♪

♪ Ooh, and next door ♪

♪ No, you're Never gonna get it ♪

♪ Ow! ♪

♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪

♪ No, not this time ♪

♪ No, you're Never gonna get it ♪

♪ My love ♪

♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪

♪ Ooh, bop! ♪ ♪ Ooh, bop! ♪

♪ I remember how you used to be ♪

♪ You never was So nice, you can't fool me ♪

♪ Ooh, bop! ♪

Why don't you just go on the merry-go-round?

Girl, hell, no. That shit make me hella dizzy.

This way, I'm still participating, you know?

♪ You think that you can walk Right into her life ♪

♪ Without a good fight, oh ♪

Oh, uh, did you remember to get the cake delivered

to the carousel and not the house?

Yes, yes. Mama is on it, Ash.

I'ma really need you to calm down, okay?

I'm just really fucking stressed.

All of our parent friends are here,

and I haven't seen a lot of them since Miles got locked up.

I'm just bracing for the dumb-ass questions,

like, "How are you really?"

And then they give you, like, a gift card for groceries.

Oh, yeah.

Who are you texting--Earl? Humor.

Comedy you do.

I don't talk to that motherfucker.

Shit, he only text me, what, twice since he got out?

- Why? You talk to him? - No.

I invited him.

Nancy gave me his new address,

but he hasn't replied to me either.

I just know Sean would really love to see him.

Man, fuck that nigga.

Oh, okay. How about we both calm down?

Can I open Dad's present now?

Yes, of course, baby.

Thanks, bruh.

Your dad calls him Thizzly Bear.

It's a lion.

Yeah, well, your dad was really proud giving him that name,

so that's what we're gonna call him.

Okay.

Hey, Sean.

We're going on the train. Want to come?

Oh, yeah, uh, fo' sure.

Is that a stuffy?

It's a Thizzly Bear, and his dad made it for him in prison.

Whoa. - That's awesome.

Come on, let's go.

Hey, you got him, right?

Watch him!

- Mm-hmm. - Don't do nothing stupid.

Where is Trish with the piñata?

Yo, you sold it?

Last pickup was at 5:00 p.m. yesterday.

- Damn. - Where were you?

Letting a man paint my toenails for money.

Yeah, and I was overseeing it.

You know, it ran long.

He was--he was very methodical. Fuck, man.

Look, this is for our nephew's birthday today.

We need that goddamn plane piñata.

Well, I've got a, uh, bottle of Patron.

No.

- A lipstick? - No.

How about this one? Big blockhead.

No! - No?

No. - Okay.

I got big hot tamale. You want him?

No. - A cute pig.

Oh, oh, this good.

Googly-eye zebra, huh?

What you think?

No! - No, no, no.

I-I need the plane. I need the plane-ñata.

Imposible.

I'm sorry. There is nothing I can do.

Where's he going?

Fuck!

What are we gonna do?

'Cause tía Trish promised a plane.

Where does that little baby door lead?

Yo, is this how piñatas are made?

I fucks with my people.

Yo. Orale, hombre. ¿Qué pasa?

Huh? Eh, órale.

Look!

Oh!

Fuck, yo. Did they make this a penis?

A giant white fucking penis? This shit has balls.

Hey! You cannot be in here!

This is only for licensed "piñatadores."

And this one has already been resold

to a bachelorette party.

Okay, nigga, well, we need it back.

Ah, but it's beyond restoration.

No. No. This can be fixed.

If we make the curves of the head more angular,

shave down these pubes,

and perform a simple testicular surgery,

we got a pretty convincing spaceship!

Is she a "piñatador"?

Nah, mm-mm, but mami's crafty.

Okay, okay, I need a blowtorch, a blade,

and hella encouragement.

Come on, let's move it, people!

Vamónos, amigos.

iAnímela! iOlé!

So we not gonna hear

you was out creeping out on my boy, right?

I got eyes everywhere, Ash.

PIs in Pittsburgh, recon in Richmond.

Y'all still fuck each other now that he's in prison?

Binoculars in Berkeley, East Oakland eavesdroppers.

No time for slippin', so keep it pimpin', Ashley.

- How are you now? - Good. Good.

Yeah, but, like...

how are you?

There it is.

Oh, by the way, Sharita wanted me to give you

this gift card for groceries.

From me and Kevin.

It's $22 on there.

'Cause y'all are struggling.

It has a sad face on it. Ugh.

Hey, you want 50 bucks?

Why not?

Mm-hmm.

Hey, you having a good time?

Ah, yes.

Gift cards for the broken woman.

Ashley, you're smoking back-to-back?

Rainey, you got your own rules. I got mine.

Okay. Okay.

I got it.

Having your man in prison sucks.

It's about to suck less, right?

Weekend visitation starting in two weeks.

Thirteen days.

Thank you so much for all the endless phone calls

and paperwork, Rainey.

- Sean's gonna love it. - Mm.

Hey, I wanted to float an idea by you.

After you and Sean do this first weekend,

I thought maybe I would take the next one

just to get a little time with Miles.

Oh, uh, I didn't know you were expecting that.

I think it's only for married couples.

Well, it's for family.

So I checked, and I could go with Sean,

technically, if you don't go.

Well, we only get one visit every three months,

but maybe you can come with us next time?

Yeah, I was just hoping for a little bit of my own time

with my son.

Really catching me off guard with this shit, Rainey.

Oh, I-I know you need your time,

but I just figured, I helped set it up--

Wait, was this your plan?

To get me to set up weekend visitations,

because only wives can do it

and then hold it over our heads?

I'm not scheming on you, Ashley.

I just think I helped,

and I'd like some time with my son.

Okay.

Can we talk about this later?

It's my son's birthday.

Later, okay?

Oh, my God, what a bitch.

You've been on the trains before, right, Sean?

My dad used to bring me here a lot.

His daddy in San Quentin.

That nigga wouldn't sing on somebody.

- Ooh, shit, he a real one. - Damn, what's that like?

Your pops in there doing a bid-bid?

Five years.

He said he was gonna sing,

but he doesn't know all the words.

Hey, he dropping gems.

That's a whole bar.

My uncle Collin did time, too,

and my friend Earl.

He did a year and then went back and did six months.

My nigga, your whole family with the shits?

Yep, lots of shits.

Who wants to sit in the back?

We not finna ride. We finna smoke.

Hey, go ride the train, though.

We'll be here when you get back.

Okay.

Hello, young man. You riding the train?

Got any money? Ha. Just kidding with you.

I want you stay on the train. No getting off the train.

If the train slows down, I want you to speed up.

Keep your feet in.

If you see a giraffe, don't feed him.

Take any seat you like, all right?

Yeah. All right.

- Say "all aboard." - All aboard.

Let's go! All aboard!

We got a customer!

You could've sat in the front.

♪ N-n-niggas think they slick But I'm game, though ♪

♪ Fuck that nigga, make him do Just what I say so ♪

♪ Hey, you were that bitch ♪

♪ We gave her back 'Cause she a lame ho ♪

♪ Hey, she on the block Ran it up like it's apparel ♪

♪ Sorry, it's just lyin' Got the stick ♪

♪ I apologize, I ain't mean To take your bitch ♪

♪ You can take the money Spend it all and then I gig ♪

♪ Have 'em shut it down I need it all ♪

He can't even sneak a bug song in?

Not even "La Cucaracha"?

Yo, who the fuck are you texting?

Yo, why are you on me so hard, okay?

I'm over here just chi--

Oh, look, your brother made it.

Oh, absolutely not.

- Ashley, are you okay-- - Not right now, Rainey.

I just want to say happy birthday to my nephew.

No, you fucked all that up.

Ash, come on, I just want to give him this present.

Who even told you we were here?

Get back in your car,

and fuck off now before he sees you!

- Ash, come on-- - I said leave!

Now!

- Uh-oh. - She's terrifying.

Miles and Ashley have that similar "grr," you know?

Here she comes.

Cake is here.

Oh, great.

Uh-oh. Fuck, Nancy.

It's supposed to be a scraper cake--a car with big rims.

This is a skater cake. It's supposed to--Fuck!

I told them scraper cake. Don't you bark at me.

- It's still transportation. - It's fine.

Every--everything is fine.

Thank you.

Okay, what the fuck was that all about?

Nothing, okay? Nothing.

How the fuck did he know where we were?

Well, I mean, he hit me for the address.

He's your brother, Ash!

Oh, Janelle, don't tell him shit about my life, okay?

Ever! And the cake is wrong!

What the fuck?

Hey, guys!

Where's my son?

Hey, what's going on?

Hello?

Hello?

Anybody out there?

What are we gonna do, Thizzly?

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus giggle?

I don't know.

Ten tickles!

Hey, get over here!

Are you high right now? Look at me!

Hey, Ashley, chill!

Your kids went to get high in the woods and lost my son.

Y'all lucky I don't kill their asses.

Has anyone seen Sean?

Ugh!

Man, what--

Hey, this one out here go out

to a very, very special ladybug.

Y'all feel--

- Give me that. Move. - Shit, nigga. Damn.

Sean!

Shit. No, fuck it.

Sean? Has anyone seen Sean?

Hey, sing Doja Cat.

I'm not singing. It's the stupid Auto-Tune.

Y'all, I need your help.

Those high-ass kids over there lost my son,

and I need y'all to help me find him.

Stop accusing my kids.

They're all high, Craig!

Okay, okay, everybody, let's just all gather round, okay?

And we figure out what the fuck happened

to baby boy, all right?

I don't need you to be nice cop right now.

They are not supposed to be high

losing kids that they agreed to watch!

He's probably on the train, right?

- Mm-hmm. - Sean!

Oh, oh, oh, there he is.

Baby! Oh, my God.

I thought I lost you, baby.

Mom, you've really got to cool out.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, it's fine.

We found Sean, the birthday boy.

Okay, go to Janelle, by the carousel,

nowhere else.

Oh, Trish!

What the hell is that?

Did someone order a plane-ñata?

That is not a plane.

Uh, technically, a rocket ship becomes a spaceship,

then eventually becomes a plane on its way back.

- Okay, whatever the fuck. - So...

All right, guys! It's time to do the piñata!

Everything is okay!

All right, everyone!

Let's give a round of applause for the birthday boy!

Yay, piñata!

Trish, can you hang up this piñata

before these parents eat me alive, please?

I don't--I don't got no string.

Trish, how do you not have anything for the piñata?

What the fuck are we supposed to do?

She about to lose it. - I'm fine!

Hey, baby.

Y'all need string?

Hey babe, what are you doing here?

Oh!

You know, I'm here with B-K-E-O.

The Black Kite Enthusiasts of Oakland.

Oh. I can fly!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Run it out. Run it out.

We just some kite niggas blowing in the wind.

Yeah.

Hello, Eric. Oh, what up, Trish?

Hey, but check me out.

I always keep an extra spool, in case shit get loose.

Let me throw a little nautical knot on y'all Enterprise,

put that thing in orbit.

You're our hero.

Okay, great.

Let's do this!

Fucking Cuddie.

Hell, no.

Put them balls back.

Don't put that in your mouth.

What the fuck, Ashley?

Welcome back to the ordeal.

Nine months later, we live in splintered fictions.

Motherfuckers got me twisted,

and I'm seconds from splitting wigs,

just wishing I could find my center.

Mommin' us through this frigid winter.

Yeah, we daunted by this wicked weather.

Trauma at the spine. Like a gun, I'm fully cocked.

We got five to run.

Barely survived one,

and I'm in it thick as thieves

with this coven runnin' reckless.

And I fear the mess is swarming

like a storm that's bound to come.

Pretty good haul, huh, kid?

Did you have a good birthday?

Yo, turning seven is crazy,

and I'm with the shits now.

Oh, okay.

Well, uh, we'll deal with that tomorrow.

Wait, wait, wait, this is all for one child?

Can we clear the air about earlier?

I think we can have a simple conversation. You and I can--

Rainey, I have not been with him in nine months.

Can you just back off?

Sure.

I will back off.

I'd like to leave you with a thought.

Must you?

I must.

Things are tough. I get that.

You're not the first mom to mom through some bullshit, Ashley.

Everybody supports you.

Everybody feels for you,

but everybody might not want to be around you

if you keep this up.

For Sean, for my sake,

you could stand to be a little less mean

and a little more fun.

I'm fun!

You think you're fun?

Oh, my God.

Earl.

Uh, come in. Come in.

Earl!

Hey, what's up, bud? Happy birthday.

We missed you, man.

Wait. Why didn't you come to my birthday party?

Oh, uh...

I just been working through some stuff,

but, look, I got you a present, you know what I'm saying?

Open it up. Open up, open, open, open.

Yeah. It's for keeping bugs in.

Wow. Thanks, bruh.

What? "Bruh"?

Who you calling bruh?

You're not that old yet.

You ain't gonna call me no bruh.

- No! - But you can be a bruh--

- a bruh-rrito. - No!

I will never be somebody's burrito!

No! A bruh-taco,

a bruh-tato chip. Never!

I'll never be your bruh-taco!

No!

I'm fun.

Right?

♪ Airplanes, trains And automobiles ♪

♪ Airplanes, trains And automobiles ♪

♪ Airplanes, trains And automobiles ♪

♪ Airplanes, trains And automobiles ♪

♪ Airplanes, trains And automobiles ♪

♪ Airplanes, trains And automobiles ♪

♪ Airplanes, trains And automobiles ♪

♪ Airplanes, trains And automobiles ♪

♪ What's up, ma? What's happenin', girl? ♪

♪ What's crackin' ♪

♪ DJ, play my cut No time to waste ♪

♪ There'll be no lackin' ♪

♪ I know your kind ♪

♪ Fine, so let's cut out All that actin' ♪

♪ Weapon concealed, steel ♪

♪ You might think I'm pistol packin' ♪

♪ But I'm not ♪

♪ I just want you To shake it off ♪

♪ It's getting' hot in here ♪

♪ Take off your clothes And break me off ♪

♪ I'm not soft, hard like Them lines I be droppin' ♪

♪ The party poppin' ♪

♪ Let me in you hear me knockin' ♪

♪ 'Cause we... ♪