Original subtitles

- Yes! - Hey! Was that a goal?

No, just checking if you're awake.

Smart aleck!

Bad enough getting all the dirty work.

Frank, d'you hear me?

Yeah, what's up?

See anything on the monitors?

No. Why? Is there a problem?

No, it's just... I must have been dreaming, sorry.

Oh, Dom! Dom, you were right.

There's someone behind you! D'you hear?

- Right behind you! - Where?

There's no one behind me.

The dirty scoundrel!

He's on the top floor! I'm on my way! We'll get him!

Perfect! We'll corner him!

Where are you precisely?

Not very far. And where are you precisely?

A Cat's Life

Ooh, Zoë, what a fright! I didn't hear you come in.

What is it? A new present from Dino?

Wow! Another lizard!

You lucky girl, that cat really spoils you!

Well then... It makes a change from sweets and toys.

Cat presents.

Yes. No. Listen, Lucas, we'll discuss it tomorrow at the office.

I need a few hours off, do you understand?

I promised my daughter.

Either way, I need that report on my desk by tomorrow.

You'll manage! I can't always be there.

- But, what's that about? - She had something to show you.

Something? What was it?

Oh, nothing really. You know how kids are.

She's very sensitive, and she was waiting for you.

I'm getting everything wrong. I'm so exhausted.

It's been very tough, just me and Zoë.

If only her father was still here.

I miss him so much.

Please don't cry, Madame, or you'll have me in tears too.

Zoë.

May I come in?

I'm so sorry for earlier.

I've got a lot on at work right now.

And sometimes I can't help bringing it home with me.

Anyway, I'm glad it's going well with Claudine.

I really like her, apart from that perfume of hers!

So what was it you wanted to show me, Zoë?

Oh dear, what a horror! Was it Dino again?

Zoë, this really has to stop!

All these dead creatures in your room, it's unhygienic.

Look, I have to take this call.

Hello?

No. I'm at home, guys.

Just ask Lucas! I'm sure he can help you out.

Do you need me for anything else? Can I go?

Yes, Claudine, that's fine.

Thanks again for all your help.

Bye, sweetie.

- Good evening, Claudine. - Good night, Madame. See you tomorrow.

I'm sorry for telling you off earlier but I can't stand creepy crawlies.

Little girls shouldn't play with spiders and dead lizards,

especially inside the house, don't you agree?

I know who you're thinking about.

Since he left us, I feel like nothing's right between us anymore.

There's nothing worse than a girl losing her father.

But sadly, nothing will bring him back.

We just have to go on without him.

It would make me so happy if from to time, you called me Mum.

Take your time, I can wait.

Forever if need be.

Now let's forget about all this.

How about going to see a film on Sunday?

We haven't been in ages.

Ah, looks like it's time for our terrible Tom to go out on the prowl.

I wonder what that naughty creature gets up to every night, don't you?

Rufus! Be quiet!

Shut up!

Hello there, Mr Cat.

I thought you weren't coming, so I started without you.

Get your strength up for tonight's expedition!

You'll like what I've got in store for us tonight.

Come on, old boy, let's go. There's work to be done.

Are you coming?

You show-off.

Hey, don't rush off so fast!

I've got something to show you. Look!

Not bad, huh?

What does Mr. Fish-lover say to that?

Stay if you want, you're not bothering me.

I'm always alone anyway, so...

Zoë, you've been going through my briefcase again!

You know I don't like you doing that!

Yes, darling, that's the man who shot your father.

But I'm on his trail, you know.

Soon I'll catch him, we'll throw him in prison,

and we'll never hear of him again. That's a promise!

You're my special treasure,

my wonderful little girl.

Never forget how much I love you.

- 'Morning. - Hello, superintendent.

Nearly done, 10 more minutes.

Leave it to one side. I need you to do something for me.

Sure. No problem.

Remember the serial jewellery burglaries?

- Yes. - I just got the lab reports back.

- Cat paw prints were found every time. - Cat paws?

The boss wants results.

It's your case. I want something new within 24 hours, okay?

No problem. As usual!

Right, got to go. I have a meeting with the boss.

I'm supposed to arrest a cat?

That's what ten years on the force gets you.

Get out of here, you filthy beast!

Go on! Get out! Now!

Get out, I don't want you here. Out, I said!

Go on, off with you!

I'm going to suck you right up!

There you go! Good riddance!

Your attention, please.

This is the Colossus of Nairobi.

A priceless piece, not shown in public for over 30 years.

It's scheduled to be transported to the museum next Friday.

Victor Costa requires no introduction from me,

you all know this city's Public Enemy N° 1.

He'll be out to get the Colossus by any means possible.

Last time he almost succeeded,

and, as you know, that cost...

it cost the life of a police officer.

- What's up with her? - The guy who got killed was her husband!

No need to tell you to be careful, the man is a raving lunatic,

who's extremely dangerous!

Let's take a look at the route the van with the Colossus will be taking.

I'm convinced that's when Costa will try to strike.

That's all for this morning. See you at target practice.

Look, guys, I've dreamt of this since I was just a toddler.

My mother stuck this photo above my cradle.

This Colossus! It has to be mine! Do you hear?!

Here he is, he's back...

What took you so long?!

The queue was endless and there wasn't that much choice.

- Ham? - Over here, hand it over Bob!

The hot dog's for me.

Eat up, we haven't got all day!

- What about my sausage sandwich? - They don't do sausage.

- I got you chicken instead. - You trying to kill me?!

Feathered stuff brings me out in a rash. I wanted a sausage sandwich.

It's not my fault they don't have sausage.

- So you decide to poison me! - Cool it, Jack! I'll swap you my hot dog.

Deal! Hand it over.

Hey, I'm the one he offered it to!

- What is yours anyway? - Hey, it's my hot dog!

Boss, sure you're not hungry? Not even for a quiche?

You mean a quiche with bacon?

Yes! With melted cheese on top!

And cream? Is there cream in it too?

Oh yes, boss, loads of cream, you'll love it.

So I look like a quiche-eater to you?

Well, no... I don't know.

- You were asking: Cream, no cream? - No copping out now!

I look like the kind of guy who's into quiche! That's what you're saying?

Had you going there, didn't I?

You had your knickers in a twist, there.

Dammit, you had me scared, Boss!

You're very good!

You want to know how I like my cream quiches?

Drive, you idiot, before I get really annoyed!

Zoë, what's this?

No, no, I don't mean the drawing,

I mean the bracelet! Where does it come from?

You mean Dino brought it you?

Zoë, sweetie, listen, I'm glad Dino's not bringing you

those horrible creatures any more,

but you can't keep wearing something that valuable.

Look, there's a diamond in it.

Darling, there's someone out there

who's really unhappy at losing their bracelet.

We'll have to find them and give it back to them.

I'm very proud of you, Zoë.

My cat picked this bracelet up in the street.

Don't ask me how, I don't have a clue.

Check if there's a link with the break-in on Rue Mouffetard.

Okay then. See you later.

The break-in on rue Mouffetard.

Well, my love, I'm going now, I have to work tonight.

Claudine's staying.

Now, you try to get off to sleep straight away, okay?

Sleep well, little Zoë.

Rufus, stop it!

Just stop.

Please stop it.

Stop it, Rufus! Every night the same thing!

Aaargh! Rufus!

You asked for it!

Rufus, are you going to shut it, once and for all?!

Ah, there you are!

You're late tonight!

What happened?

I was about to leave without you, old boy!

Have you looked at me? I'm not a potato!

I know you're not, that's not the point.

I've told you, they're just code names.

Yeah, I know, code names, but "Potato" is ridiculous!

You think I like being called Mister "Baby"?

Shut it! That's enough, alright?!

You are Mister Frog.

You, Mister Baby.

You, Mister Hulot.

And you are Mister Potato. Understood?

Yes, yes, fine! Okay, boss.

And what's your code name, boss?

I'm the Colossus, the Colossus of Nairobi!

That's a really good name!

That's enough! We're wasting time.

So, anything new, my lovely?

Keep your voice down. Here, this'll make you happy.

It's the transfer date of the Colossus,

but staying around this area, it's risky.

- Be a bit patient. - I'm running out of patience.

Go through her papers, her computer, her dustbins.

I need the security van's route.

You don't want my cover blown, do you?

- What's going on? - It's the kid! She heard everything!

Don't let her get away! Get her, guys! Quick!

- Do we go in after her? - You think we can go in there?

Get out the way, you idiots!

Search the place and bring me the kid. Right now!

Okay, boss!

I know you're here, little girl.

Hiding in the back of one of these cupboards.

Great cupboards, aren't they? Well laid out and very comfy?

You're Zoë, aren't you?

I know about all sorts, you see!

Not too dark in there for you, eh?

You know what gets on my nerves?

In films, the victim always hides in the last cupboard.

Where's the suspense in that?

I'm counting to three, little piggy,

and then I'm going to blow your house down.

One... Two... Thr...

- Boss, come and look, it's amazing! - You've found the kid?

Better than that, Mister Costa!

Why don't you shout out my address, whilst you're at it?

The code names, not real names, you stupid ass!

Sorry, boss, but come and look!

So, where's the kid?

There, look!

Look where? There's no kid here!

- The dartboard! - Are you winding me up?

Please wake me up from this nightmare!

Wait a minute, just take a look at the dartboard!

- I'll take the dartboard and... - No, no, no.

Wait, Hulot's going to throw a dart.

How about that!

Ali Baba's cavern. And I found it!

When he sees a dart game, he can never resist.

That takes the biscuit!

I've stumbled on to someone's stash!

But whose place is this?

So, little snoop, proud of yourself?

What am I supposed to do after this?

- Calm down, you little pest! - Hum, Hum. Sorry to disturb you.

- What are you doing in my house? - It's the girl's fault.

She's a real tearaway. I spend my time chasing after her.

Don't mind her, she's a bit retarded. Come along, Zoë!

Wait! I don't think she wants to go with you.

Who are you? Her mother?

Zoë, come! We're going!

- I think you should let her go. - Colossus!

Problem! The owner's come back!

Don't move, we're coming!

You wouldn't dare hit a woman!

Ouch!

Nasty beast!

I'll hurt my shoulder!

It won't budge. Forget it.

I know! We need a crowbar to lever it.

Trust me! Climb on to my back and hold on as tight as you can.

- Or else we pull... or we could... - Stop rabbiting!

Just break this damn door down!

They're climbing up the roof! Over there, look!

Guys, help me! I'm slipping!

Come and help me! I'm gonna break my neck!

Thanks, Boss, phew! Colossus.

Er... is it Colossus when it's just us two,

or only when there's other people around?

Shut it!

Look, Zoë, you see that hedge over there? Behind it is the zoo.

You go with the cat, he'll take you to my place.

I'll create a diversion, then come and find you.

Go now!

- Over there! That's him! - There he is!

Hmm! Smells like fresh meat!

- What's up, boss? - Never mind. She's had it.

We've got her!

Look. I told you. She can't go very far.

Come on, hurry up!

Yes? What is it?

'Evening, Madam. Police.

- Ooh, what have...? - No need to worry, madam.

I just have a little question.

A cat living in the brick house over there,

mean anything to you?

Oh yes, I know that cat,

a real piece of work.

Every night of the week he sets the neighbour's yappy little dog barking.

- It drives me mad. - Yes, but

do you have any idea where this cat goes?

Well, he certainly doesn't go very far.

He leaves from there,

makes the nasty little dog bark, and disappears into the house opposite.

Every night it's the same routine.

So are you going to do something about it, officer?

Hello?

What?

You've got a lead on the cat-burglar?

Where are you?

Near my place? How come? Okay, I'm on my way.

I can't go on, I can't go on.

Come on, make an effort!

He's going to get away!

I didn't digest the sandwich.

Think how angry Colossus will be if we don't catch him!

Need a lift, guys?

Looks like the tables have turned, eh?

- It doesn't work! - Stop it!

You think he's dead?

Believe me, after a fall like that

you'd have a bit more than a bump on the head.

If you had a head left at all!

Go on, Mr. Frog. Get her! I'm stuck in the mud!

Yeah, but there's no boats left.

Remind me what your codename is, you idiot!

Mr. Frog.

So you're already halfway there.

Go on! Get going. Hop in.

Yeah, but... "Frog" is only a nickname.

I don't give a damn!

Your name is Frog, and frogs swim,

so get moving and jump in!

D'you mind telling me what you're up to, you idiot?

Well, I can't go in with my clothes on, can I?

Okay, I'm going, boss.

Oh, it's really freezing!

That's better!

Hey you there, you horrible little brat! Playtime's over!

I don't believe it!

Okay, let me guess: You can't actually swim, can you?!

Nobody ever taught me, boss. What about you, can you?

Mind your own business, you fool!

Colossus of Nairobi,

why have you abandoned me?!

Zoë?

Zoë?

Ah! There you both are.

I see you found the old swing.

It's on its last legs, you know.

With everything that's just happened, we haven't even talked.

I haven't even told you my name: Nico.

So, are you going to tell me what happened?

Do you not want to talk to me?

Cat got your tongue, eh?

Well, you don't talk but at least you can laugh.

Now, can you tell me where your parents are?

You do have a mum and dad, don't you?

What's up?

Did I say something wrong?

I see. Anyway, we can't stay here,

they may come back.

I know a place we can hide for the night,

but first I'll have to get the key, okay?

Stay here, I'll only be a minute.

Zoë?

Police! Don't move!

- Oh no! No! - I said, don't move!

I was right, Superintendent, this is the burglar we've been after.

And it looks like your cat's his accomplice.

You don't understand!

It's not what you think! It's just I was there when...

Let's go. You can tell the judge all about it.

In case you didn't know, you kidnapped my daughter.

A cop's daughter.

You've just landed yourself in a whole load of trouble.

Calm down, Zoë. There's nothing to be scared of now.

Come on, head down!

Your game's up!

Ooh, I'll have you too! It's the animal pound for you!

Oh, my little sweetie! You've no idea how scared I was!

I don't understand what's going on. Explain it to me!

It's that crook there!

He got into the house, to burgle us.

When he saw me, he panicked

and grabbed Zoë from her bed and ran off with her.

- Who is that woman?! - Mind your own business.

Listen to me! It's not me,

- it's that woman who wants to harm the girl! - Shut it, okay!

- Car 17, we've got news for you. - Lucas. I'm listening...

It's all over, my princess.

There, there.

Let's go home.

I'll stay with you all night.

Superintendent, I know this really isn't the moment,

but if I don't warn you straight away.

What is it now?

The night watchman at the zoo was attacked by some kind of thug.

He photo-identified him. It's our man, Costa!

- Costa! - There's a chance we can catch him.

Listen to me, Zoë,

I'm going to say the exact opposite of what I just promised.

I have to leave.

It's very important for both of us.

It's the man who killed your daddy.

I can't let him get away!

- Do you understand, Zoë? - Don't worry, madame,

the poor thing's in shock

but I'll calm her down.

- Let me take her home. - Yes, thank you.

Zoë, I'll be back really soon! I promise!

Don't worry, I'll take care of everything.

Mmm... Mmmmu... Mu...

Mum!

You've left it a bit late to find your voice, you little brat!

When you arrested me I was in the process of saving your daughter.

It's a well-known fact: All kidnappers are actually saviours.

I can't believe you're completely unaware that your nanny's in cahoots with Costa!

You can stop the fairy tales, they're getting boring...

But it's the honest truth!

And all the money we found in your bag?

That's for good works in the community, I suppose?

It's the same with all of them, they always have a story.

Be careful!

- I can't see the road! - The brakes, Lucas! Break!

Dino, stop! Let go of him!

Now you're going to listen to me!

You're making the biggest mistake of your life.

Believe what you want, but if I were you, I'd go back home immediately.

Your daughter Zoë is in terrible danger!

He's an odd one, that one.

I'm missing something and it's making me uneasy.

What if he's right?

Come on, Lucas, we're going to my home to check.

Zoë?

Claudine?

Zoë?!

I have a bad feeling about this.

I'll go upstairs. You keep watch down here, okay?

Lucas, are you okay? Were you hit?

No, no, it's my fault, I was startled and the gun just went off!

Oh, Lucas.

Take this! And take that!

Someone's going to pay for this, right now, or there's gonna be big trouble!

Argh! Damn it!

You think it's funny, you bunch of idiots?!

Oh, big teddy bear, sounds like you're losing your cool!

Look what I've brought you as a surprise!

What have we got here?

The little honey pie, all ready for Daddy Costa's cooking pot!

Well, you can pride yourself on giving me a real run around, you little pest.

And you, my little flower, thank goodness I've got you!

If I had to count on this bunch of good-for-nothings

I'd still be nicking sweets from the corner shop.

Wait a minute... I've just had a thought.

This could solve all our problems.

We may even be able to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

Having the kid is like having the mother!

Gentlemen, we're changing tactics.

We're going to make this spectacular, do it in style!

If the mother wants her daughter back, she'll have to give us what we want.

She's going to hand over the Colossus all-included,

with a cherry on top.

And with a smile, if you please!

- And? - That guy was right.

They've kidnapped her, and it's all my fault.

I got it all wrong!

Don't worry, we'll find her. I promise.

I'll alert everyone. We'll start searching immediately.

Come on, Jeanne, be strong!

There you are, you filthy creature,

always hassling me.

You're a nasty piece of work.

You look at me and think: "I'll have her for breakfast!"

Well, just you try. I'll be waiting.

I don't sabre champagne bottles, I behead them!

You've got a good aim, boss, well done!

Ladies first! Some manners, please!

In any case, a frog that can't swim, doesn't drink champagne.

Take the kid upstairs and don't let her out of your sight!

Come along, you! You heard the boss!

Dolling yourself up all nice, my Doll?

Yes! Just for you, my big teddy bear!

Oh no, she's at it again.

More of that disgusting poison!

Tell me about it. It gets me right in the throat!

Sorry, boss, do you mind if I open the window?

- It's terribly hot tonight. - Be my guest...

What's with him?

It's nothing, boss, too much champagne, that's all.

You know, guys, no offence,

but I sometimes wonder if you're really cut out to be gangsters.

It's all very well, Cat, but how are we going to find Zoë now?

What's up with you?

Have you picked up a scent?

Hey! Wait for me! Wait for me!

You know where I'm taking you when all this is over?

Nairobi! It'll be our honeymoon, sweetheart.

I know a lovely little hotel deep in the bush!

It'll be the most beautiful day of my life!

Well, thanks a lot, kid!

Now, I can't even go and have fun with the others.

What's going on? Why's the power gone?

Can someone tell me why the power's off?

I'm like you now, Cat. I can see in the dark.

- Maybe it's a power cut. - Or the fuses.

Are there any torches here?

I think there's one in the cellar. Hang on, I'll get it.

What's up, Hulot? Have you got a cold?

No, not at all! I thought it was you who...

You think I don't hear you all talking about my perfume behind my back?

You don't dare say anything when my teddy bear is there,

but you all gossip away like a bunch of girls.

Be honest. You think I stink, right?

Not at all. Why do you say that?

Do I smell good or not? It's a simple question, isn't it?

Shut it up, down there!

Not a peep until the lights come back on!

Well, serves them right for leaving me out of the party like that!

They can drink their bloody bubbles in the dark!

It's me, princess, Nico... I've come to rescue you.

Anyway, I'm not a frog.

I don't even like frogs.

And it's not because I can't swim that I can't drink champagne.

You know, it's not easy being a gangster,

but it's the only job I know how to do.

I used to work in a café.

It's that guy again! He's taking the girl!

Come quick! All of you! I've got him.

Come and help, I've got him.

Me too, I've got him too, it's okay!

But I had him!

Dammit, it's you?

Yes, it's me, you idiot!

Over there! Something's moving!

What are you doing? You bunch of useless idiots!

Blithering fools! Where's the kid?

Where the hell is she, dammit!

Hang on tight, Zoë!

Co-Cos! Go on, jump!

You've just seen how easy it is!

How right you are! Here I come!

Look up there! What are they doing? It looks like a chase!

One of them's got a kid on his back!

They're completely crazy!

Costa did this to you? Are you sure it was him?

What direction did he take?

Did you see a little girl with him?

Chief, he's wounded, let me talk to him.

Are you sure it was Costa, sir?

I recognised him alright, it was your man.

He was with a big chap. He doesn't pull his punches, that Costa.

- Look what he's done to me. - Hello, I'm listening.

What?

Game on! They've spotted Costa.

Hurry up! Not a minute to lose!

Thank you, sir, get well soon.

Right, don't move from here, Zoë.

Promise me.

I'll come back for you, when I've dealt with that brute.

It won't take long. At least, I hope it won't.

So tell me, Mr. Muscle Man,

is that cat's piss or sparrow fat in those arms of yours?

Wanna find out?

Come on then, come on! I'm waiting for you.

What a shame, I never got my invitation.

This is your lucky day! No invitation's required!

So, Costa, those people and their classy low waistline,

- some kind of artistic statement, is it? - Don't make me laugh, it hurts too much!

Oh! Poor little thing. Does it hurt then?

Damn! Nothing's moving. Perfect timing, huh!

- Not our lucky day. - Superintendent! There's news on Costa.

Talk!

There's another guy with Costa up there!

- And a little girl, and a cat. - Zoë! It has to be!

What do we do, Jeanne?

- Take the wheel, I'll make my own way. - But...

You still up here?!

Do you need a hand to get down?

Or a foot?!

Are you going down or what? Down, I say!

Too short, old man!

I'm sure you'd be less nasty, if you weren't so short.

You want to know? I'm about ready to mash you to a pulp.

Tell me, Costa, does your mum choose your shorts for you?

How dare you insult my mother?!

Too short!

Thanks, mate.

You popped up just in time.

Let me give you a hug.

No, Zoë, stay where you are.

It's too dangerous. You can't help me.

And I can't hold on for much longer.

I don't want you to fall.

You okay?

Oh boy!

Since when do the police save the lives of thieves?

Since thieves started saving children's lives. Am I wrong?

Hello, my little friends.

I've come to pay you a visit.

In memory of your father, who I knew so well.

Off we go, and no letting uncle Costa down this time, okay?

Enough!

This little game's lasted long enough! I'm not that easy to catch!

Colossus, here we come!

Hmmm Hmmm of France...

Ouch!

Let go of me, you filthy beast!

Get off me! Bon voyage!

Go on! Hopla!

It's over, Costa, you're under arrest.

This has gone on long enough!

Catch this!

Sorry, old boy, no choice!

I'm going to finish the job I started with your husband.

- Mum! - Give him my regards when you're up there!

I'm your worst nightmare.

You'll pay for that, you nasty viper!

Look out!

He's too heavy, I can't hold on to him!

Don't move, I'm there.

What on Earth is he up to now?

I think this time he's gone completely mad!

Look! Here he comes.

Here he comes.

Stop your clowning, Costa. Can't you see the game is over?

See you around, losers!

Costa! No!

No!

Step back, there's nothing to see. Let the police do their work.

Move away! You can go back home.

Mum, I was in the zoo tonight

and then I got in a boat

and this big man wanted to catch me but he couldn't get me.

But before... well, Claudine, she was with the baddies.

That was really scary.

But luckily Dino was with me at the zoo

and he gave a big whack to the baddy in the water

and then he nearly drowned!

They took me to a big house

and Nico came to find me and then it went all dark.

Hey, you two! You're not listening to me!

Isn't my story interesting?

Ah, my little Zoë! This time it really is all over.

We'll always be together.