Original subtitles

Oh, I've heard it all before.

Work twice as hard for half as much.

But that never stopped me from getting to this side of the table.

But...

And before you say it,

I don't owe you a thing.

Want me to do for you what no one did for me?

What about...

appreciation?

Oh.

You want me to stand on my doorstep and clap for you?

Is that what you want?

I'll do one better.

Thank you, Jennifer, for all your work.

Your services are no longer required.

You can't do that.

I just re-coded your entire computer system, okay?

I've given you everything.

And what?

And what if I don't leave?

What if I take a stand?

Are you going to take a stand?

No.

No I'm not.

Are you going to take a stand?

Keep working hard, like you always do,

and something will appear.

So how's the wedding prep going?

She still wants me to do a speech, Mum.

She's got a job on there.

So, any umm?

Nope.

Don't be such a cynic.

So how much to save this place, then?

50 within the month.

It's ridiculous what they're doing Mum.

Happened in Brixton,

happening everywhere else.

I turnover enough money.

It's just this one bloody payment they're slapping everyone with.

Who is it?

Hmm?

Hello?

How do you expect high rewards if you don't take high risks?

Sorry?

Be at the Ruby Blue Bar on Oswald Street

at 12 noon.

Who are you?

I have a job for you.

When you arrive, just say 'Anne Boleyn's ruby slipper

always shone in the pale moonlight'...

I just don't know who'd do this?

Have you let anyone go recently?

Only 27 people in the last month.

27?

Fix it now.

Anne Boleyn's ruby slipper

always shone in the pale moonlight.

What?

Oh, sorry.

Did I not say that right?

Say it again.

Anne Boleyn's ruby slipper

DID always shine in the moonlight.

All the whilst

Henry's codpiece

protruded several inches from his crotch.

Although,

by all accounts, there was a lot more room

in that codpiece, than Henry wanted people to know.

Ok Buster,

vamoose.

Okay boss.

Once I despised the pomegranate.

It looked weird, hard to penetrate.

Pretty messy.

But then

once

I tried it,

and I never looked back.

Oh.

So...

a job.

Do you fancy

nipping into an office building...

in the city?

Logging onto a computer and pulling some information from it.

And what is the info exactly?

I'll come back to that later.

But here's what you need to do.

Enter the building.

Assuming the identity of one of their employees.

My insider said

that the man on duty on our day is very lax...

and loves to flirt.

So just bung some glossy, mesmerizing, smooth talk at him.

Okay?

They require an official I.D.

that has a biometric chip inside it,

which we won't have.

So you're going to have to distract, charm and convince him

that he doesn't need to scan it.

I'll marry your brother just to get in your family.

Once inside, you'll have a map to direct you to the remote terminal.

You will override the six digit

security code to get into the room.

With your skills that'll be easy breezy.

But these aren't the skills of a computer programmer.

I was joking.

I have the door code from an ex-employee.

Sorry.

Hello?

Alan darling...

a useless Scouser finishes his time.

Is that news?

Yeah.

While, I remember.

Would you source a prop for me for Wednesday?

Thank you.

Erm, before you go on, I just want to say that you know that...

You locate a folder called Oliver.

Then extract the encrypted data from it.

Throw it onto a flashy drive.

You mean a flash drive?

No.

After that, you'll be met by my delightful driver.

Once I've received the flashy from you,

checked the data is all tickety boo.

I will give you your fee.

So what is the fee?

What's 1% of 500 million?

Must be pretty valuable data then?

It's a collection of accounts, passwords and pins accessing the compound

interest on the hushed up money that MPs skimmed off their expenses

BEFORE the scandal of '09.

And just to put it all out there,

this is illegal, isn't it?

Do you want to carry on playing by the rules?

Or do you want to play the game?

I can't.

Oh, yes, you can.

You really can.

I know you can, because I know you need it.

Also a little bird happened to tell me

that you planted a parting gift on the FWP database.

Yeah that proves to me

that you have a degree of derring do,

but also...

it gives me something to hold over you.

Pomegranate?

No thank you.

You have 48 hours.

Yes. Oh.

Ah great!

Yeah thanks.

We'll keep your details on file. We'll get back to you.

Whatever.

Come on.

It's not the public, it's family and friends.

And I want to upstage Harley's best woman speech!

Lols.

Family and friends.

A thousand people. One single stranger.

All terrifying Ade, no.

Any job luck?

I've had an offer.

Boom!

Black girl magic baby!

Yeah, but I dunno if I'm gonna take it.

You're behind on your rent, aren't you?

Three months.

So what's it saying moneywise?

The job?

It's saying...

it's saying a lot.

So what's the problem?

While I remember...

Eric is...

coming to the wedding

and he's bringing his new bae.

Great.

Bring someone.

I remember when all I wanted to do was just

fall in love and have kids with a tall, dark, handsome bachelor

who had a cheeky sense of humour and a megawatt smile.

Oh, and someone who could slay hip hop karaoke!

Anything else?

A Magic Mike bod?

Well, if he HAPPENED to have been in Channing shape,

I wouldn't have complained.

You're speaking in past tense?

Yeah, there's a reason.

I think Jennifer needs to step out of her comfort zone.

And I think Adrienne needs to mind her own bees wax.

How many have you got left?

Two!

Oh good!

Keep your head still.

Ready?

Are you sabotaging my job applications?

I want you.

I know you can do it.

And I know you and your family need the moolah.

I've never done anything like this before.

Am I incarcerated right now?

Am I a novice without decades of experience?

I know what I'm doing.

Take the leap.

For once in your life.

Yes, we may be dipping outside the rules a tad but this is money

no one will miss apart from the men who know they are in the wrong.

I really don't want to have to inform FWP

of your meddling machination costing them thousands of pounds.

This is blackmail.

No this is persuasion.

5 million?

For an hour's work.

I'll be back here at 1500.

What the hell is that?

Protection.

I don't need that.

All Gates' employees are expected to protect themselves.

Boss's orders.

I am a computer programmer okay?

I don't need that.

Take the bag.

I'm fine, honestly.

Take the bag.

I'm really not comfortable with this.

Might wanna check the safety's off.

Pretty sure it is.

I.D.

Lovely weather we're having today eh?

Is it?

Tara Munis.

Vice president.

Never seen you before.

Oh, we've probably just missed each other.

I have to scan it.

Wait.

Has anyone told you that you have really lovely eyes?

No.

Oh could you do that again for me please?

No.

There's usually a male receptionist that works here,

is he here today?

No.

The receptionist won't let me in.

Knew I should have put you in skimpier attire.

Erm also...

you didn't mention anything about... a gun.

I protect all my employees, not least when they're stealing account

information of the shady senior bank execs

who took illegal tax free cash

bonuses before the Bank of England banned them in 2019.

Wait.

I thought you said it was MP's expenses?

Let's not get hung up on the minutia.

Time to use your noggin to get into the place.

Trigger the fire alarm?

Don't be ridiculous darling.

Find the back entrance.

Slip in.

Alright love?

I couldn't trouble you for one of those could I?

Alright.

Ah thanks love I'm gasping!

Where do you think you're going?

Work.

What like that?

Oh, I've got a date later.

Lucky man.

Well look Valentina's still on shift.

Oh, yeah.

The agency called.

They want to give her a day off, so I'm covering.

A day off?

I could do with one of those.

Have fun.

Oh, come on.

You were on 67% this morning!

Wait.

What did he say it was?

He said it was...

the month reversed...

and the door number... ugh!

Erm...

excuse me?

You're not supposed to be on this floor.

Hello?

Umm I was told to start at the top and then work my way down?

It's my first day so I'm a bit lost. Sorry.

That's okay.

We'll get you down to Rebecca and we'll find out where you're supposed to be...

Erm do you think we could try and...

CRAP!

Donny coin's going through the roof.

You get yourself to reception.

Find out where you're supposed to be.

Okay, will do.

This is the part of the job I hate.

Actually, that's a lie.

This is the best bit.

What's your job?

Oh don't worry. It's fake.

I used it for a stag do a few months back.

Was a good do.

I'm John Smith, COO,

and this is my place.

Forgive me,

but it doesn't look like you're doing much cleaning right now?

Maintenance on the internal network.

Oh, I had to re-train.

I have two jobs, you know, make ends meet.

Erm could you give me a little bit of privacy please so I can...

Oh, I need to go and speak to a client anyway.

Cool beans.

How long will you be?

10 minutes?

Cool beans.

I've heard it's rough in your kinds

of neighborhoods...

But wow.

Oh, don't worry.

I'm not a grass.

Well if you don't mind...

Oh, yes, of course.

I'll go and make a coffee and do a video call.

Would you like me to bring a coffee in for you?

I really should just finish my work, otherwise I'll be in trouble.

Cool.

Well I'm gonna.

I'm gonna.

Gre...

Great.

Yes dear?

Car trouble.

Yeah it's just not playing ball.

Well you better fix it then?

Haven't you?

And quickly.

Made you a coffee.

One minute.

You looked like you could use a caffeine boost.

I don't drink coffee.

Oh, you work a cleaning job

and an I.T. job, but you don't drink coffee?

I like tea.

A nice herbal tea

in a flask and a walk up to Muswell Hill.

Muswell Hill

I always thought that'd be a great name for an R&B group.

You know like Dru Hill, 112, Black Street, Jagged Edge.

They all sound like locations.

90s R&B.

If only that level of romance was possible in real life.

You know, I found my girlfriend

cheating with my best mate from uni

on the day I was going to propose.

Well, if it's any consolation,

there's only three ways a marriage can go really.

Disappointment,

divorce

or death.

What do you call that? 'The Three D's'?

'The Three D's'.

I think we're on the same page.

Peaches and cream.

Job done?

Almost.

Now...

you don't do caffeine, but...

do you do tobacco?

I'm fine, thanks.

How long? Ten?

I'll definitely be gone by then.

Well,

I'll be up on the roof

having a smoke in case you change your mind.

It's a lovely rooftop.

Right.

Let's get out of here.

Right I'm going for a break.

Oh, baby.

What?

Can't believe I almost forgot this!

I'll be up on the roof having a smoke in case you change your mind.

Peaches

and cream.

Hmm. Dance with me.

Sorry what?

The song by 112.

I always preferred 'Dance With Me' to 'Peaches & Cream'.

Here.

I'm trying to give up.

How were are you going to propose by the way?

Booked out the restaurant we went to on our first date.

Spelled out her name in roses on the table

and sang 'Let's Get Married' a cappella with my schoolmates

on backing vocals.

Corny I know.

Brandy...

'Brandy'?

That was her name?

Not THE Brandy, of course.

Although that'd be rather great.

He swapped 'em.

What?

When he gave us the coffees he's um...

yeah, yeah he's given me the latte.

Has he?

Yeah.

It's an Americano.

Its my Americano.

Yeah.

Ugh.

Well here you are.

Cheers mate.

Hello.

Look, my pickup is coming any minute now.

Where's my USB?

You've got it.

This one is blue.

Mine is red.

Where is it?

Search me...

if you want?

Start at the top and work your way down.

I can search you without your instructions.

Funny thing about being a big COO of a...

You NEVER touch a black woman's hair.

That's not your real hair?

Yes it is.

I bloody PAID for it!

If we don't increase the sales target by next quarter,

we're all going to be really, really...

She's my chiropractor.

Really?

I just assumed it was some kind of role play?

Guilty as charged. Haha.

Maybe find somewhere more discreet?

Yeah, the storage cupboard on the fifth floor is kind of handy.

Great.

Have fun.

So I don't think this board of directors know what they're doing anyway.

So I think we could do is...

Well they should have made you partner.

Well of course they should have...

I can't let you leave with that.

Seriously?

Give me the USB.

I think we both know you're not going to shoot...

4-7-5 to base, investigating possible gunshot at RAD building, West Side.

Report back when we know more, over.

Wow, guns are loud!

Jesus Christ you bloody shot me!

Oh my god.

I'm so sorry.

Oh well that's alright then!

Okay we're gonna have to get out of here right now.

What happened to your voice?

What are you talking about?

This is my voice. And this...

Alright, this is my real voice. Okay?

Who are you working for?

Myself. I'm working for myself.

Police!

Is everything alright up there?

We've got to get out of here right now.

Not before you give me the USB.

Oh...

We're trapped.

Yep.

But God loves a try-er.

Maybe a beam fell?

How old's the building?

Did you hear that Guv?

Hear what?

Seriously?

Let me have a wander.

Parker I'm gonna go and do a sweep of the ground floor.

As soon as Chopra gets here,

I want you to work your way up the building.

Right so where am I going?

You're working your way up the building.

Up the building?

D'ya mean at the top?

I mean up.

Right, up.

Got ya, no worries Guv.

Seen anything?

Heard some noise.

Might have been some office noise?

Definitely sounded like a gunshot.

Well this is awkward.

Hmm.

You're the worst thief I've ever come across.

I'm not a thief, I'm a computer programmer.

Yeah.

Anyway, I saw an office party downstairs.

Did ya?

You know what that means?

What does that mean?

Free cake.

So what we do now?

John?

JOHN!

Stop messing around.

I didn't mean to shoot you.

By the way.

What was it?

Didn't find anything out of the ordinary.

Could be the beams?

He's obsessed with beams.

What?

Just keep an ear out.

Let us know if anything else out of the ordinary happens.

I'm just going to see if next door has a kit.

Oh come on!

How're we losing 2-0?

I'll be there soon.

How long?

Hard to say...

20?

20!

Do they have first aid kits in toilets?

Bloody hell!

You haven't got a mixer have ya?

Would you rather a herbal tea?

Okay...

So I'm gonna help you,

but not before you tell me

who you are and what you're doing here?

Cook.

George Cook.

Was the secret agent response really necessary?

Well I thought it was appropriate.

I'm not some Oxford Cambridge silver spoon COO.

I'm a state school lad from the land of the Beatles...

and I steal things.

Cook.

You ready?

It's an easy job.

5 mil, no fuss.

...and I steal things

usually while deceiving people.

Kind of like what you do with your hair.

Don't push me.

Put your hands out.

What?

I still don't trust you.

Come on!

By the way,

I'm only doing this...

Because you fancy me?

Because I've got a conscience!

Hmm.

Are you sure you know what you're doing?

Oh, okay. Take it easy, easy, easy.

ARGH!

OH!

OH MY GOD.

Quiet!

Chaa!

You're not very good with your hands are ya?

I'm nearly there!

OH!

Hopefully that should do it?

Well done Guv.

What for?

What you did back there.

What did I do?

Come on.

Calm, measured, respectful.

You're what every police officer should aspire to be.

Not really.

Oh,

and modest as well.

You were born to do this.

Funny.

What?

I've never...

kissed a guy I've shot before.

Well there's a first time for everything.

George?

George?

GEORGE!

George.

Can you hear me?

You passed out, I think you were dreaming.

Hold on.

Where you sex dreaming?

'Sex dreaming'?

About ME?

As if I'd be 'sex dreaming' about you.

Where's this pickup of yours anyway?

He's not answering his phone.

But the police have left at least.

Hey...

what if we went 50/50?

I should ask for more.

Call it compensation for the assault.

I'm going to leave now.

Pick up or no pick up.

What's Gates...

giving you...

out of interest?

You know him?

Here's three reasons why you need to take my offer.

One.

You're in over your head.

You've never done anything like this before.

Right...

So why not hand over the Oliver folder to me?

The career criminal.

Let me get my hands dirty, lessen the risk.

Two.

You shot me.

Now, that's not just a Section 18 assault.

That's attempted murder, which carries a fifteen year minimum sentence.

If I choose to press charges...

which I will.

And three.

The one you really want to hear.

I did work for Gates...

and I know...

that Gates is gonna screw you over,

as soon as you hand over the loot.

So what's it going to be?

I think you're more of an opportunist than you let on.

This is just a little one off pay day in between jobs.

Right...

A bonus for someone who's done things the RIGHT way

and deserves a little cash injection.

MAYBE this someone doesn't

want to have to work twice as hard for half as much.

MAYBE this person deserves to pay off thirty grand's worth of student debt.

You know, the moment

when society punishes you for studying and getting good grades?

MAYBE

this person deserves to put a deposit down on somewhere

half decent to live in the city she was BLOODY born in.

And finally get on the property ladder.

I mean, is that so much to ASK?

Have you given that speech before?

Every working class generation gets a raw deal.

My dad died when I was three and me Mum couldn't afford to bring me up so...

I moved in with me Nan.

We didn't have much, but she made the best of it.

Like her mum and her mum's mum.

We used to play blackjack

and rummy every afternoon after school.

And she beat me every time.

You know what she used to say after I lost?

'God loves to try-er'.

And what I thought she meant was,

is that eventually I get rewarded.

If I kept putting in efforts and hard work.

But then I realized

what she actually meant was,

you only win

if you push your luck and go outside the rules.

She always beat me because she cheated.

She did what she had to do.

Now I dunno about you, but I feel totally guilt-free

about taking the access codes from the accounts containing the millions

British councils have taken in undeserved parking fines since 1986.

Parking fines?

Daylight robbery innit?

No, I mean, Gates said it was the undiscovered expenses from MPs,

but then they also said it was dodgy banker bonuses...

I don't know.

Oh?

Well...

whatever it is, could you untie me so I can go for a wazz?

I'm bursting at the seams here.

What I'm serious!

Oh!

Thank you.

Forget something?

Let's go. Me and you.

It's funny you're offering me that now.

Unlike you.

I have shot people before...

and I've got no problem doing it again.

I'm not telling you where it is, so you might as well just shoot me.

What's happening?

Can I help you?

Look.

It's either 50/50 or Gates takes it all.

You're not going to shoot me.

Oh, yeah? Why's that?

You fancy me.

As if.

You know I've spent my entire life being a pushover.

For once I'm going to take a stand.

What are we doing up here?

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you fancy waiting in that room for when the cops checked it?

Still think it's the beams?

Blimey.

Are you going to pull that trigger then or what?

Give me the USB.

I already told you.

I'm not going to do that.

I need this money.

I deserve this money.

And I didn't spend all those years in prison...

just to come out and get done over

by that posh...

What are you doing here George?

It's a fake.

I've seen the real thing.

And this looks like the real thing.

What?

Undercover all along.

Is this the stuff?

What do you mean he was undercover all along?

Long story.

Is this or is this not the stuff?

No.

Um it's in the herbal tea tins downstairs.

You what?

Room 1380.

One sec!

Give me that?

What you doing?

Anything to make a copper

look more dumb innit?

I don't think you understand.

I've been given orders.

We need to leave the building now.

Gunshots to the ceiling, signs of struggle.

Send forensics to retreive the bullet.

Take bloods and dust the place really.

Send some extra squaddies for security.

Someone needs to question the receptionist.

I'll stay here, make sure no one contaminates the evidence.

How are we going to get past them?

You might want to consider a change of career.

You know...

re-train.

Thanks, Boris.

It's done.

Good.

Did he take it?

He did.

Jennifer?

George?

Can I buy you a drink sometime?

That makes a better story

than swiping right.

My best friend's getting married in a couple of weeks...

Maybe you'd like some company?

Maybe I would?

JENNIFER!

Jenn!

Can you hear me?

Sex dreaming?

As if.

We'd better get out of here.

Bizzies are swarming.

Hang on?

Are you a cop or not?

Take your clothes off.

We really got time for that?

Just take your clothes off. Now!

Why what am I putting on?

This.

No, I've got a better idea.

Should still be...

I'll put on...

what I came in with.

Oh, great idea. Cat burglar outfit.

The police won't bat an eyelid.

You're right.

Ah, whoah whoah whoah, slow.

You alright?

Gimme that...

This?

Yeah.

Stop flexing.

Stop perving.

Don't flatter yourself.

So when you've finished

cleaning the toilets on every floor, I'd like you to

dust the ceilings thoroughly.

Oh sorry Officer, I was told the incident happened on the 4th?

I'm Tara Munis, Vice-President.

Oh. Pleasure.

Yeah well it's clear you run a very tight and honest ship here so...

Yes, well, I'm just finishing showing this one his rounds.

Erm how about we meet in my office in let's say fifteen minutes?

Lovely.

Alright, after you.

Wonderful.

Same again?

No. The receptionist's already seen me.

That was with your wig on though...

Really?

Well, throw in an accent to really sell it?

Risky...

Madam. It's for your own safety.

We need you to leave the building right now.

Listen, I think this is really unnecessary.

I've been given orders.

We need to leave the building.

It's for your own safety. Please, will you follow me?

I'm not leaving the desk.

Don't you think you're just overreacting just a little bit?

No, we need to leave now.

High risk,

high reward.

Brandy Harris C.I.D.

Great work today, officers.

Wait.

I've met you before.

Your name's Tara?

Tara something.

Everything okay here?

Do we all look the same to you then?

What?

Nice bit of racial profiling on a Wednesday afternoon.

No.

Lucky for you, we have a bigger incident to investigate, don't we officer?

Yes, ma'am.

Well, this one's a bit shaken up,

so I'm gonna take him for a coffee and you're gonna give me a statement.

Aren't you Dimitri?

Yesh... da, da.

Although I have not yet finished ze

cleaning of ze toilets.

Is this okay?

You've been through enough, Dimitri.

Let's go.

Come on.

What about appreciation?

You want me to stand on my doorstep and clap for you?

Is that what you want?

So you're not giving me a bonus then?

For being undercover for the best part of three years?

Sorry, you're out.

Empty handed.

Can I just ask ya one thing?

The account numbers and pin codes stolen and put onto the USB.

I was told it was parking fine profits from councils

but then, I heard it was

illegal funds from banker bonuses

and then

I heard it was a secret stash

from MPs expenses...

Is there a question in there somewhere?

Well, which one was it?

You're not on the payroll anymore.

Why would I tell you?

Last day tomorrow.

I'm sorry, Mum.

It's not your fault.

I should have been able to help.

Don't be stupid.

I should have been able to help YOU.

Mums are supposed to do that.

Come on, Mum.

So, yeah,

that's the long and short of it.

Oh. My. God.

You can't tell anyone, though.

Who do you think I am?

I don't know what I'm going to do.

Seriously.

Ask him if he's free on the 23rd?

Joking.

Or am I?

Lolz?

What would you do, though?

Really?

So the bad guy screwed you over?

You went in with nothing, came out with nothing.

But you did shoot this guy?

Yeah...

And you did attempt to steal millions of pounds...

But if this piece of white chocolate is a con artist?

Then I don't think you have anything to worry about.

And if he's a cop?

Then you better hope and pray he fancies you...

like early nineties jungle fever vibes.

We're gonna need some more wine then!

So this is the spot?

Not bad.

I could show you a few rooftops better than this though.

How's your shoulder?

Hurt's like a bastard.

Sorry.

Wait, you have the red USB?

I do.

But I checked your pockets?

Okay?

You alright?

I had a feeling you would.

So I stashed it.

You went back in?

Nope.

I had a trusty receptionist.

She was working with you the entire time.

Little insurance never hurt anymore.

Well no wonder you got into the building so easily.

You walked right through reception.

Oh...

No, I came in through the rooftop.

You came in from the roof?

Yeah, I told you. It's kinda my thing.

So about that then.

Did you erm...

happen to?

Yeah I did.

And it turns out some people can

write over data so that it's hidden

but still on the drive.

Little programmer trick.

So Gates will have received...

A copy of the 'Oliver' folder with nothing on it.

How did you know that Big Al would...

Took a risk.

So is it true what they say then?

Is it all Xbox's and slap up meals?

Where?

Prison.

I'm glad you find it so funny.

You know what I DO find funny, though?

That I'm going to offer half of this to...

someone who shot me.

Wait?

So you're not police?

Not anymore.

Anymore?

They let me go.

Well it looks like you're going to have to re-train.

Hmm.

I've heard Switzerland's a great place?

I heard that too.

Do you think they'll have gin on the plane?

I should hope so.

So...

Are we doing this then?

It certainly looks that way, doesn't it?

Stop everything else.

I want them found

and brought to me.

And bring me a fresh fucking margarita!

Make it quick, I'm very busy.

Thank you, Mrs. Boomer.

But your services are no longer required.

What?

I came into a bit of money and I decided to invest in FWP

As the majority shareholder.

What's going on?

Don't worry.

I'm sure you'll find something.

That bitch!

Cool beans?

Cool beans.

So there's been something I've been meaning to ask you...

Was the whole 'Brandy-the-fiance' story real?

Her name really was 'Brandy'

and she kind of broke

my heart to be honest.

Haven't dated anyone since.

Why not?

Hmm.

Scared.

So...

something I've been meaning to ask you.

How come you can do a perfect Liverpool accent?

The mother.

What she's?

She is.

When do you think we can go back?

A couple of weeks should do it.

Well...

In that case, I have a proposition for you.

My best friend is getting hitched and I was wondering

if you wanted to be my plus one?

I erm...

think it's probably best we go our separate ways after this.

Oh.

For the best?

Okay.

Cool...

Cool beans.

What a u-turn.

I know.

What happened?

It's not that big of a deal, Mum.

Family and friends, a thousand people, one single stranger.

It's all terrifying!

You want me to do this or not?

Look at her, she's made up.

I'm going to go for a quick puff before...

Should never have started that habit in the first place.

Size seven?

What?

The ruby slipper.

Yes, I know it's a ruby slipper but what are you doing with it?

Oh.

Err.

You know, Anne Boleyn?

So Gates uses that line on everyone?

Pretty much.

And I'm wearing a Henry cod piece.

Can't you just enter the venue like a normal person?

No...

You can get up now.

Still need a plus-one?

I thought you said it'd be best

if we go our separate ways?

That was a lie.

And how did you even...

I've got skills haven't I?

And by skills he means he asked me for the address.

And you just gave it to him?

Oh, come on.

I know he's your Mr. White Choco...

Don't you dare finish that sentence!

What?

We have a nickname for you, I'll let her tell you.

So MUM...

how's the salon?

Business is booming and the customers love the renovations.

Thank you.

Hey, how much to charge for a Scouse perm?

I could do with a new look.

If you let me give you a Scouse perm, it'll be on the house.

Oh, don't encourage him please!

You gonna get your plus-one a bevvy or?

I haven't confirmed or denied whether you're actually my plus-one.

You don't know what you're getting yourself into.

Hmm.

Champers?

Or gin?

Is there going to be a mixer this time?

Come on.

Starting to think I might be open to marriage again.

Really?

Well...

Crucial question, though, who's playing the reception?

112, Jagged Edge, Dru Hill

or Black Street?

All four.

Crucial question for you though...

Yeah?

Are there actually, any women who would want to marry you?

I hope your speech bombs.

And I hope you get shot in your other shoulder.

Jenn...

Yeah?

You're going to knock it out the park.

Just to check...

this is just a one off partnership, right?

Yeah.

Absolutely yeah.

Total one off.

Peaches and cream.

Yeah she's a stunner mate.

She is.

Naughty as well right?

She makes me dress up in uniform for her.

Nice.

What type of uniform?