Original subtitles

‫♪ GOTTA GET UP, GOTTA ‫GO, GET UP ♪TION

‫:Television anchorman ‫,AND IN LOCAL NEWS

‫POLICE REPORT FINDING 3 MEN

‫LITERALLY STUCK TO THE CEILING

‫OF A WAREHOUSE THEY ‫.WERE TRYING TO ROB

‫BUT THE ADHESIVE ‫,WASN'T GLUE OR PASTE

‫.IT WAS STATIC ELECTRICITY

‫ACCORDING TO THE ‫,FRIGHTENED THIEVES

‫THEY WERE CAUGHT BY ‫A YOUNG MASKED MAN

‫WHO HAD MUTANT ‫ELECTROMAGNETIC POWERS

‫".AND CALLED HIMSELF" STATIC

‫!?MUTANT

‫.THAT'S DEGRADING

‫?YOU GOT A BETTER WORD

‫.I KIND OF LIKE META-HUMAN

‫.CATCHY

‫,Anchorman: FOR A RELATED STORY

‫WE GO LIVE TO

‫.THANKS, JIM

‫VICTIMS ARE STILL ARRIVING ‫HERE AT COUNTY GENERAL

‫FOLLOWING THE GAS EXPLOSION

‫THAT'S COME TO BE KNOWN ‫".AS" THE BIG BANG

‫HERE IS JUST THE ‫.LATEST ARRIVAL

‫[[MOANS

‫,ACCORDING TO DOCTORS

‫THIS YOUNG MAN'S ‫ROAD TO RECOVERY

‫.COULD BE RATHER LONG

‫POLICE SAY THERE ‫MAY BE HUNDREDS MORE

‫OF THESE UNFORTUNATE ‫YOUNG PEOPLE

‫.STILL ON THE STREETS

‫!?HUNDREDS

‫YO, "V," DID YOU HEAR TH

‫?VIRGE

‫[[MUSIC PLAYS

‫.VIRGE? NOT NOW, ‫RICH .I'M VIBING

‫?HUH

‫.I'M A HUMAN CD PLAYER

‫.EVEN GOT SURROUND SOUND

‫!HEH HEH HEH. HEY

‫.VIRGE. CIVILIAN AT 12:00

‫?WHY THE LOOK, FRIEDA

‫?THEY ALL OUT OF BRITNEY

‫THERE'S THIS KID ‫.OVER IN THE CORNER

‫IT... IT'S LIKE HE'S ‫.SICK OR SOMETHING

‫[[MOANS

‫THAT EXPLAINS WHERE ‫.THE BRITNEY CDs WENT

‫!VIRGIL

‫[[MOANING

‫[[ROARS

‫![GASPS] IT'S A BANG BABY

‫!AAH

‫!AAH! AAH

‫[[SNARLING

‫[[PEOPLE SCREAM

‫.VIRGIL. THE TOUGH GUY

‫.BAD TIMING, FRANCIS

‫?WHAT'S THE RUSH

‫.THAT. THAT'S WHAT THE RUSH IS

‫.YOU SEE? A BANG BABY

‫DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE ‫.SCARED OF A BABY

‫ME? NO. I'M JUST RUNNING ‫,FOR THE EXERCISE

‫BUT YOU MIGHT WANT TO SHOW ‫.A LITTLE CONCERN HERE

‫!UNH

‫.STAY PUT

‫.YOU STILL GOT BUSINESS WITH ME

‫WITH WHAT'S LEFT ‫.OF YOU, YOU MEAN

‫.OH. HE'S CERTIFIABLE

‫WE KNEW THAT BACK ‫.IN SECOND GRADE

‫[[SNARLING

‫[[GROWLS

‫[[WHIMPERS

‫YOU'RE

‫.YOU'RE A BANG BABY, TOO

‫.FRESH BORN AND READY TO PLAY

‫.EVEN GOT A NEW NAME. HOTSTREAK

‫!AAH

‫ONE CHARBROILED ‫.GEEK-KABOB COMING UP

‫!UGH

‫,YOU KNOW, FRIEDA

‫YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN ‫.REAL COLD TO ME

‫?HOW ABOUT WE CHANGE ALL THAT

‫.S-STEP OFF, FRANCIS

‫[[GASPS

‫UHH... UHH

‫GETTIN' WARM OUT ‫?HERE, ISN'T IT

‫?SO, WHAT ABOUT IT, FRIEDA

‫[UGH! [SIZZLES

‫.THAT WASN'T NICE

‫.Static: NEITHER IS THIS

‫!YES

‫TELL ME THAT DOESN'T GIVE ‫.CHEST PAIN " A NEW MEANING"

‫?ARE YOU ALL RIGHT

‫!YEAH, BUT... LOOK OUT

‫[[SCREAMS

‫!GRR

‫!ARRR

‫NEWTON'S LAWS ARE CATCHIN' ‫,UP WITH YOU, HOTSTREAK

‫OR SHOULD I START ? ‫"CALLING YOU" BURNOUT

‫.SEE, GRAVITY'S MY FRIEND NOW

‫!AHH

‫!WHOO-HOO

‫[[GASPS

‫IF YOU THINK THIS ‫,IS A STANDOFF

‫.YOU'RE WRONG

‫!AAH

‫!UGH

‫,I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME

‫,BUT IN ABOUT A MINUTE ‫.IT'S NOT GOING TO MATTER

‫!AAH! UGH

‫[[CHOKING

‫?WHAT HAPPENED, VIRGE

‫YOU HAD HIM DOWN ‫.FOR THE COUNT, MAN

‫.I... I CHOKED

‫.VIRGE

‫,EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ‫THERE'S ANOTHER BANG BABY

‫,SETTING FIRES ‫,WRECKING BUILDINGS

‫SCARING EVERYBODY

‫AND NO ONE'S DOING ‫.ANYTHING ABOUT IT

‫WELL, WHAT ABOUT THAT KID

‫THEY WERE TALKING ‫?ABOUT ON THE NEWS

‫?WHAT'S HIS NAME

‫STATIC. HE'S DOING ‫?SOMETHING, ISN'T HE

‫DIDN'T YOU HEAR ‫?WHAT HAPPENED TODAY

‫.HE GOT BEAT. BAD

‫BESIDES, HE'S PROBABLY ‫.A BANG BABY, TOO

‫IF HE IS, HE'S ONE ‫.OF THE FEW GOOD ONES

‫.HUH. FOR NOW

‫?WHAT'S THAT MEAN

‫NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING ‫.ABOUT THESE META-HUMANS

‫?WHAT IF STATIC KEEPS CHANGING

‫WHAT IF HE TURNS INTO ‫?SOME KIND OF MONSTER

‫.NOBODY KNOWS

‫.NOT EVEN STATIC HIMSELF

‫WHAT IF I TURN INTO ‫?SOME KIND OF BLOB

‫YOU'RE NOT GONNA ‫.TURN INTO A BLOB

‫,NOW, PRIMORDIAL OOZE

‫.THAT'S ANOTHER STORY

‫.OK, MR. DEF COMEDY JAM

‫JUST GIVE ME THE ‫.SLIDE WITH YOUR BLOOD

‫.LOOKS THE SAME AS MINE

‫?MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER

‫.NOT REALLY

‫Man: YOU'RE LOOKING ‫.PRETTY HEALTHY, VIRGIL

‫?SO WHY ARE YOU HERE

‫.CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL, YOU KNOW

‫,HEH HEH. THAT'S TRUE

‫BUT WHAT ARE YOU TRYING ‫?TO BE SO CAREFUL ABOUT

‫UM, WELL, I'VE BEEN GOING ‫.THROUGH THESE... CHANGES

‫THAT'S NORMAL FOR ‫.A BOY YOUR AGE

‫.THIS ISN'T NORMAL. BELIEVE ME

‫VIRGIL, THESE CHANGES ‫,YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

‫?DO THEY INVOLVE ANOTHER PERSON

‫.A LOT OF THEM

‫DOES YOUR FATHER KNOW ‫?WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING

‫NO! AND HE CAN'T

‫.HOLD UP

‫[[LAUGHS

‫DOC, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ‫.2 DIFFERENT THINGS HERE

‫THAT'S A RELIEF

‫EXCEPT NOW I'M BACK ‫TO HAVING NO IDEA

‫.WHAT YOU'RE SO WORRIED ABOUT

‫CAN'T I JUST HAVE ‫?THE TESTS, PLEASE

‫ALL RIGHT, VIRGIL. IF IT'LL ‫.GIVE YOU SOME PEACE OF MIND

‫.WHOO

‫YOU WON'T TELL MY ‫?POPS, WILL YOU

‫WE'LL DISCUSS THAT ‫.LATER IF WE NEED TO

‫.NOW HOLD OUT YOUR ARM

‫!OW

‫YOU EVER HEARD OF ‫?PAINLESS NEEDLES, DOC

‫MADAM MAYOR, MY NAME ‫.IS ROBERT HAWKINS

‫I CAME HERE TO ASK WHAT THE CITY'S ‫.DOING ABOUT THESE BANG BABIES

‫MR. HAWKINS, THE SUBJECT OF TODAY'S ‫.MEETING IS BUDGET APPROPRIATIONS

‫BUT THERE WILL BE A GENERAL ‫MEETING NEXT MONTH AND

‫!THIS CAN'T WAIT A MONTH

‫.MR. HAWKINS, PLEASE

‫.YOU'RE OUR LEADER

‫WE PUT OUR FAITH AND TRUST ‫,IN YOU WHEN WE ELECTED YOU

‫BUT YOU SEEM TO BE ‫,FORGETTING THAT YOU SERVE US

‫.WE DON'T SERVE YOU

‫!YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT

‫[[APPLAUSE

‫WOW. SOUNDS LIKE YOUR POPS TOOK ‫.SOME PUBLIC SPEAKING CLASSES

‫NAH. HE JUST GETS LOTS OF ‫.PRACTICE TALKING TO ME THAT WAY

‫!ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT

‫[[GRUMBLING

‫WE ALL KNOW THE POLICE HAVE WHAT'S ‫.LEFT OF THE TANKS THE GAS WAS IN

‫SO WHY HAVEN'T THEY BEEN ‫?ABLE TO TRACE THE OWNER

‫THAT'S A GOOD ‫,QUESTION, MR. HAWKINS

‫AND I ASSURE YOU THE INVESTIGATION ‫.IS GOING AHEAD AT FULL SPEED

‫THE MINUTE I HAVE A ‫,DEFINITIVE ANSWER

‫.IT'LL BE REPORTED IN THE MEDIA

‫NOW, IF THERE ARE ANY ‫.QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BUDGET

‫.I SMELL A COVER-UP

‫IF THEY'RE GONNA ‫,INVESTIGATE SOMETHING

‫.IT OUGHT TO BE HER

‫?HOW'D THE MEETING GO

‫THEY'RE KEEPING ‫,THE PRESSURE ON

‫BUT I'M NOT POINTING ‫.MY FINGER AT ANYONE

‫.NOT UNTIL I HAVE ALL THE FACTS

‫.Man: I APPRECIATE YOUR CAUTION

‫!THIS IS SO COOL

‫YO, YOU THINK YOU COULD ‫?PICK UP PAY-PER-VIEW

‫THIS IS BETTER. YOU ‫?KNOW WHO THAT GUY IS

‫.EDWIN ALVA

‫EDWIN ALVA. DUDE'S ‫.GOT BIG BANK

‫MAKES BILL GATES LOOK ‫.LIKE HE'S HOMELESS

‫WHAT'S HE DOING OUT ‫?HERE WITH THE MAYOR

‫.NOT A DATE, THAT'S FOR SURE

‫MY COMPANY WOULD WELCOME

‫.AN INVESTIGATION. REALLY

‫.WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT

‫? "V," WHAT ARE YOU DOING

‫.TIME TO GET BACK TO BUSINESS

‫YORK, THE MAYOR'S ‫.GOING TO CAVE

‫GO TO THE LAB AND ERASE ‫EVERYTHING ON THE HARD DRIVES

‫ABOUT OUR MUTAGEN FORMULAS ‫,AND THE SHIPPING RECORDS

‫BUT DON'T FORGET: WHEN ALL THIS BLOWS ‫.OVER, I'LL BE STARTING UP AGAIN

‫.SO SAVE EVERYTHING ON DISK

‫[[ZZZZT

‫!?WHAT

‫BET A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD LIKE ‫.TO SEE WHAT'S ON THIS DISK

‫!YOU

‫!YOU'RE THAT FREAK

‫.YOU SAY FREAK. I SAY UNIQUE

‫.THE NAME'S STATIC

‫.I PUT A SHOCK TO YOUR SYSTEM

‫.OH, YEAH? WELL, SO DO I

‫!AAH

‫YOU THINK YOU CAN ‫?KEEP ME IN HERE

‫!WHAA

‫.UH, SCRATCH THAT

‫?WHAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG

‫[[COUGHS

‫.I HAD TO ASK

‫[[COUGHING

‫.NOTHING

‫[[COUGHS

‫!OW

‫AIR PRESSURE'S ‫.GOING UP IN HERE

‫.JUST WHAT I NEED

‫IF THE GAS DOESN'T KILL ‫.ME, THE PRESSURE WILL

‫[[COUGHS

‫?BUT WHAT IF I ADDED TO IT

‫.POUR IT ON, VIRGE

‫!POUR IT ON

‫[[ALARM BEEPS

‫.[STRAINING] YEAH. THAT'S IT

‫!AAH

‫[[COUGHS

‫.UHH

‫[[PANTING

‫WHERE'S A GUY GET A ‫?RECHARGE AROUND HERE

‫!HEY! STOP

‫,EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN

‫.BUT I'M OUTTIE

‫[[MOANING

‫.TIME FOR YOUR PILLS, FRANCIS

‫.BUZZ OFF

‫!TAKE YOUR MEDICINE

‫.ARGH

‫Virgil: IT'S ALL ‫.RIGHT HERE, RICH

‫EVERYTHING THE COPS NEED ‫.TO PUT ALVA ON LOCKDOWN

‫.TOO BAD THERE'S NO REWARD

‫.OH, YES, THERE IS

‫ONCE THE DOCTORS ‫,SEE THIS THING

‫THEY'LL KNOW EXACTLY WHAT ‫WAS IN THAT GAS I SNIFFED

‫.AND I CAN STOP WORRYING

‫.OR START, AS THE CASE MAY BE

‫.THANKS, GLASS-HALF-EMPTY MAN

‫[[CRASH

‫?OH, WHAT NOW

‫.IT CAME FROM THE SQUARE

‫.VIRGE, THE BUS

‫.WE'LL GET THE ‫NEXT ONE !COME ON

‫[[PEOPLE SCREAMING

‫?WHAT WAS THAT

‫!OH, MY GOD! LOOK

‫[[EVIL LAUGH

‫.HOTSTREAK

‫,HEY, BOYS AND GIRLS

‫.COME AND GET 'EM

‫[[SCREAMING

‫!AAH

‫THAT'S WHY THEY ‫.CALL THEM HOT DOGS

‫!AAH

‫!HA HA HA

‫YOU KNOW, NEXT BUS SHOULD ‫.BE HERE IN A COUPLE MINUTES

‫!FORGET THE BUS

‫?ARE YOU CRAZY

‫AFTER WHAT HE DID ‫?TO YOU LAST TIME

‫.GOT TO

‫AT LEAST WAIT FOR ‫.THE FIREMEN, THEN

‫.CAN'T

‫!YO, VIRGIL

‫DON'T LET YOUR HISTORY ‫.WITH HIM GET IN THE WAY

‫YOU'RE NOT JUST ‫.VIRGIL ANY MORE

‫.YOU'RE STATIC. REMEMBER THAT

‫.I'LL KEEP IT IN MIND

‫?HOW COME NOBODY'S EATING

‫?AFRAID OF HEARTBURN

‫!HA HA HA HA

‫Static: MAYBE IT'S ‫.YOUR LOUSY COOKING

‫!RR

‫!AAH

‫[[GASPS

‫[[GROANS

‫[[SNIFFS

‫!NO

‫?LOSE SOMETHING

‫[[LAUGHS

‫.HOTSTREAK

‫.GOT YOU WHERE I WANT YOU

‫.IN YOUR DREAMS

‫.NO. I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU

‫,YOUR POWER ONLY WORKS ON METAL

‫.AND LOOK WHERE WE ARE

‫.NO METAL, NO POWER

‫BUT MINE'S WORKING ‫.JUST FINE, FOOL

‫.I BROUGHT YOU HERE ON PURPOSE

‫I DIDN'T WANT ANYONE ‫.ELSE TO GET HURT

‫.RIGHT. SURE

‫.THIS IS A CITY

‫.THERE'S METAL EVERYWHERE

‫EVEN IF YOU CAN'T ‫.ALWAYS SEE IT, FOOL

‫!HEY

‫!AAH

‫[[GROANS

‫[[CHEERING

‫!YOU DID IT

‫YEAH. LUCKY THAT ‫.WATER MAIN WAS THERE

‫,UH, VIRGE

‫.THAT WASN'T A WATER MAIN

‫.IT WAS A SEWER LINE

‫[[SNIFFS

‫I THINK STATIC'S ‫.WORK HERE IS DONE

‫[[GROANS

‫[[COUGHS

‫?EVER HEAR OF KING PYRRHUS

‫MUST HAVE MISSED ‫.HISTORY THAT DAY

‫.HE FOUGHT THE ROMANS

‫BEAT 'EM BAD, BUT SO ‫,MANY OF HIS OWN MEN DIED

‫.HE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE LOST

‫THEY CALL THAT A ‫.PYRRHIC VICTORY

‫OH, VIRGE. DON'T GO ‫.THINKING THAT WAY

‫.YOU STOPPED ALVA COLD

‫BUT ALL THE EVIDENCE ‫,GOT BURNED UP

‫AND HE'S STILL ‫.WALKING AROUND FREE

‫[[TELEPHONE RINGS

‫?HELLO

‫.VIRGIL? IT'S DR. HARRIS

‫!DR. HARRIS

‫DID YOU... IS EVERYTHING

‫,I GOT YOUR BLOOD TESTS BACK

‫AND EVERYTHING'S FINE

‫.PHEW

‫.EXCEPT FOR ONE THING

‫?WHAT

‫.YOUR ELECTROLYTES

‫.THEY'RE A LITTLE HIGH

‫?MY... MY ELECTROLYTES

‫.YOU KNOW ABOUT ELECTROLYTES

‫NO, NO. WHY WOULD I KNOW ‫?ANYTHING ABOUT ELECTRICITY

‫.ELECTROLYTES

‫THEY GET HIGH WHEN YOU ‫:EAT TOO MUCH SALTY FOOD

‫.FRIES, PIZZA

‫?FRIES

‫?PIZZA

‫YOU CUT DOWN ON THAT STUFF

‫.AND YOU'LL BE PERFECTLY NORMAL

‫.THANK YOU, DOCTOR

‫.THANK YOU

‫?DID YOU HEAR THAT

‫!I'M OK

‫!I'M NORMAL! WHOO-HOO

‫!PERFECTLY NORMAL

‫.YEAH. RIGHT

‫CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. TV ‫ANIMATION AND THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

‫CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL ‫CAPTIONING INSTITUTE. Www.ncicap.org

‫!WHOOOA

‫♪ HEY, HEY, HEY ♪

‫♪ HEY, HEY, HEY ♪

‫Static: I PUT A ‫!SHOCK TO YOUR SYSTEM

‫!STATIC SHOCK