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1
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:18,568
Okay. Let's see where we are.
2
00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:22,823
We could move this, get
rid of that, kill that.
3
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:27,491
That kind of freaks me out. Don't need her.
We can get rid of that.
4
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,993
That's done.
Okay, we could start with this.
5
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:33,204
I know it's a hard-hitting piece,
but come on, you guys, it's the Internet.
6
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,581
We need traffic, traffic, traffic.
What do you got?
7
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:38,293
- How about this?
- It's perfect.
8
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,791
Now, doesn't she look smart and
knowledgeable about immigration reform?
9
00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,801
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah. She does, right?
10
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:45,216
I'm fucking with you people.
This isn't a porn site.
11
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:46,968
What are we, nerds trying
to look at boobies?
12
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:48,841
Come on, Keep looking.
13
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,343
Shit! Hello?
14
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,929
Hey! Baby, where are you?
Are you still at work?
15
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:55,348
No! Not even close.
16
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:56,932
Just so you know,
the movie starts in 10 minutes.
17
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,813
- I know! Give me your pants.
- What?
18
00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:00,527
- I'll buy you lunch tomorrow. Come on.
- No.
19
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:02,484
I'm your boss. Give me your pants.
20
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:05,032
Please try not to be late.
I really hate missing the beginning.
21
00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:06,279
I know. I know.
22
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,779
Give me your pants. I'm coming, baby.
23
00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:11,780
I'm almost there!
24
00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:14,287
- How far away?
- I think I see you!
25
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,003
- Where are you? I'm here.
- So am I.
26
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,921
So many people. What are you wearing?
27
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:22,466
I'm wearing the only clothes
outside the theater,
28
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:25,294
because I'm the only person
outside the theater!
29
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,508
I love that outfit.
You look so sexy in that.
30
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,131
You know that I love this movie.
31
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:32,969
If a prostitute and a ruthless
businessman can fall in love,
32
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:34,891
then anyone can.
33
00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:37,143
I know this means a lot to you,
which means it means a lot to me.
34
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,644
Well, apparently it doesn't.
35
00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,067
I'm looking at you right now.
I can see you!
36
00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:41,481
Jamie!
37
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,232
Hey!
38
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:45,526
- Hey.
- You made it.
39
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,399
- Yeah. Hey.
- Hi.
40
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,985
- Sorry I'm late.
- It's okay. I got us sandwiches.
41
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:52,412
I got you turkey, no cheese,
gluten-free bread.
42
00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:54,494
You sure this was prepared
in a nut-free facility?
43
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,830
Yes, I'm full aware of our allergies.
44
00:01:56,992 --> 00:02:00,838
Hey, I'm here! I'm here. I'm really sorry.
45
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,665
We missed Your Body is a Wonderland.
46
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:04,716
Okay. Only one song.
That's not so bad, right?
47
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,210
It was fucking Your
Body is a Wonderland!
48
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:10,181
Well, the good news is,
he has so many good ones.
49
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,975
Here's an idea: next time, instead
of being late, just shit on my face.
50
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:16,725
'Cause that's kind of the same thing
as missing Your Body is a Wonderland.
51
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:17,971
Okay, come on. We really gotta go in.
52
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:20,274
Julia Roberts is about to put
on her really tall boots.
53
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,397
We need to talk.
54
00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:28,698
I think we should take a break.
55
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:31,118
I just feel like we should
chill for a while, you know?
56
00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,991
- You're doing this?
- You're breaking up with me?
57
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,413
You said I was your soul mate.
58
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:35,743
I did? When?
59
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:38,333
When we were at that bed and
breakfast having sex.
60
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,910
- But, you know, that doesn't...
- That doesn't what?
61
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:43,206
- Count.
- I was tied up at work. I'm sorry.
62
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,625
Maybe you should care
a little bit less about work
63
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,926
and a little more about the
girl that you're dating.
64
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:51,430
'Cause last time I checked,
work doesn't reassure you
65
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:54,015
that liking a finger up your ass
doesn't make you gay.
66
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:56,935
I never said "go up." Okay?
67
00:02:57,052 --> 00:03:00,431
I just said lightly around...
It's like a little button.
68
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,432
You know what?
Not your issue any more.
69
00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:03,683
Is this why you were late?
70
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,269
You were worried
about how to break up with me?
71
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,738
Oh, no, no.
I was trying to decide what to wear.
72
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,069
- So, you went with sneakers and a hoodie.
- Yeah.
73
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:11,905
What, are you gonna
take the SATs after this?
74
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,819
Don't lash out, okay?
75
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,620
- You're better than that.
- I'm really not.
76
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,410
I just think we're heading
in different directions.
77
00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:19,912
Yeah, you to the John Mayer
concert and me not.
78
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:22,419
Thank you for doing this
before the concert, by the way.
79
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,496
Best breakup ever.
80
00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,757
He is the Sheryl
Crow of our generation!
81
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,167
Let me just ask you a quick question.
82
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:32,255
And just know that I am not at all
crushed by this breakup.
83
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,260
So, be honest. Why?
84
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,636
- Wait, is this a trick?
- No.
85
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,600
Just pure anthropological research.
86
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,682
Okay. You want someone
to sweep you off your feet,
87
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,560
but you're more interested
in getting swept off your feet
88
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:43,856
than the someone who's
doing the sweeping.
89
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,150
You seem like you've got
it totally together,
90
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:48,111
but you're actually
really emotionally damaged.
91
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:51,656
Also, you have, like, really big eyes,
and that freaks me out sometimes...
92
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,867
Thank you. That's enough.
93
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,410
It is not you at all.
94
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,614
Of course it's me! You can't say that.
You're breaking up with me!
95
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,492
It's not. It's me.
I don't like you any more.
96
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,994
This is my fault.
You deserve better than me.
97
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,336
You're a great guy.
98
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:08,754
A little too emotionally
unavailable, if you ask me.
99
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:09,879
I didn't.
100
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,210
I really want to stay friends.
101
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,795
- Let's stay friends.
- Sure.
102
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,050
Totally.
103
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,178
John Mayer.
104
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,510
John fucking Mayer!
105
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:21,477
Come here, you.
106
00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,147
You're gonna get through this.
107
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:31,322
Why do relationships always start off so
fun and then turn into suck-a-bag-o-dicks?
108
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:35,651
I really have to stop buying into this
bullshit Hollywood cliché of true love.
109
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,537
Shut up, Katherine Heigl!
You stupid liar!
110
00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:42,828
I'm just gonna work and fuck.
Like George Clooney.
111
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:45,665
I'm just gonna shut
myself down emotionally.
112
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,002
Like George Clooney.
113
00:04:58,507 --> 00:04:59,554
Hello.
114
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,180
Seat up, please, sir.
115
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,011
Is that the Hudson River?
116
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,893
No. It's the East River.
117
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:10,027
So we won't be landing on it,
then, like that flight,
118
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:13,272
you know, with that captain
they keep giving medals to?
119
00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:15,945
That pilot was a hero.
120
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:19,535
Asshole.
121
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,864
Plane actually did a lot of the work.
122
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,876
I think I found the perfect guy
to fill that job at GQ.
123
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,208
No, he's landing early.
I'm scrambling.
124
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:32,458
No, he's not sold on the job yet,
but I'll get him there. I always do.
125
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:34,801
I'm even picking him
up in a hybrid.
126
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:37,588
He's from LA. I figured
he's into all that bullshit.
127
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,969
Hey, sir, what's that
tall building over there?
128
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:41,891
Empire State Building.
129
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,435
No, no, no, no. No. The other one.
130
00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:47,352
The really, really tall one with
the antenna on top of it, the windows.
131
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,932
That is Empire State Building.
132
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,606
Oh, yeah. You're right. King Kong.
133
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:52,773
Hey...
134
00:05:57,274 --> 00:06:00,073
Oh, hey! Are you done with this?
All met up?
135
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,745
Great. Welcome to New York,
Ms. Penderghast.
136
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,285
Yeah.
137
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:18,128
Oh, no. Excuse me. Sorry.
138
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,428
Okay.
139
00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:25,803
- Can you hand me my bag?
- Sure. Which one?
140
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,019
- The one with the straps.
- Okay.
141
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,187
There.
142
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:29,932
Okay.
143
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,105
- Thank you.
- Welcome to New York, sir.
144
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:38,489
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.
145
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,284
- That's me.
- Which one, the blue or the yellow?
146
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,450
No. The makeshift sign made
out of lipstick, that's me.
147
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,998
- You're Dylan Harper.
- I am.
148
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,374
I'm Jamie Rellis.
149
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:51,207
- You're picking me up from the airport.
- Hi. Yes, I am.
150
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,587
You always pick people
up like this?
151
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,540
Yeah, you know, I like to
keep things interesting.
152
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,175
- Welcome to New York.
- Thank you.
153
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,883
You're not exactly what comes to
mind when you think headhunter.
154
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:04,182
Yeah, I prefer "executive recruiter."
Headhunter sounds a little creepy.
155
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,802
You did stalk me for six months.
Kind of creepy.
156
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:08,561
Here, here, here, I'll take it.
157
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,523
You're really gonna carry my bag?
You're that girl?
158
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:14,727
No. I'm gonna change
your life. I'm that girl.
159
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,062
My life is already pretty great.
160
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:20,490
Oh, really? 'Cause you wouldn't be here
if your life were already pretty great.
161
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,326
A free trip to New York.
I'd be an idiot to turn that down.
162
00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:26,325
Well, then I guess you must have been
an idiot for the past six months.
163
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:29,533
Yeah, a lot of people
would say longer than that.
164
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,539
It's a huge opportunity Dylan.
165
00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:34,584
Art director of GQ magazine.
This is the big leagues.
166
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,836
I mean, no offense to your
little blog on the Internet.
167
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,921
Which got six million hits last month.
168
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:41,921
I could put up a video of me mixing
cake batter with my boobs
169
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,547
and it will get eight million hits.
170
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,676
It's been done.
Dunkin-My-Tits-Hynes.com.
171
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,176
Really?
172
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,642
Well, look, there's no question that
you are talented at what you do,
173
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,519
but this is GQ.
174
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,441
New York's so crowded.
175
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,566
Look around. I'm from LA, okay?
176
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,782
- I like my open spaces.
- What are you, a gazelle?
177
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,075
Come on, what's really
worrying you about this?
178
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:10,202
I don't know. I don't want to be the guy
who took something legendary
179
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:13,034
and shit the bed with it.
Excuse the expression.
180
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:16,087
Well, then don't be the guy who
shit the bed. Excuse the expression.
181
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:19,254
Be the guy who made the
bed legendary again.
182
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:23,591
Listen, we'll get some coffee in you
before the interview. You'll be fine.
183
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:28,805
I'm sorry, not coffee. Some green
tea, soy, organic hemp bullshit.
184
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:30,927
Really hot in New York.
185
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,558
Doesn't it get hot in LA?
186
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,514
Yeah, it gets hot in LA,
but it's the humidity.
187
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:37,396
In LA, if it's 90 degrees,
it feels like 90 degrees. But...
188
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:38,936
- Right.
- If it's hot in New York,
189
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,900
It's 90 degrees,
it's like 100,000 degrees.
190
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:43,152
This conversation about weather
is really fascinating,
191
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,983
but lucky for me, we are here.
192
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,490
So, good luck.
193
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:52,119
Whatever happens, happens.
I told you, I don't really want it.
194
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:55,411
Just do me a favor?
Act like you do so that I look good.
195
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,791
- I can do that.
- Okay. Go get 'em.
196
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,255
This is great, by the way.
197
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,350
Watch it!
198
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,937
- Hey!
- You're still here?
199
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,490
Yeah. Well, it's my job.
200
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:26,654
Nice.
201
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,278
So, tell me, how'd it go?
202
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,239
They bought it.
You're safe for a little while longer.
203
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,620
Well, thank you. I owe you one.
204
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,000
This is from you.
205
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,502
It's your offer.
206
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:44,126
- Wait, I got it?
- They called about five minutes ago.
207
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:48,297
Congratulations.
Offer expires at midnight.
208
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,137
Why didn't you just tell me
instead of texting me?
209
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,642
'Cause it's more dramatic.
210
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:56,976
Dylan, you are not
gonna shit the bed.
211
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,478
I've seen your work.
It's amazing.
212
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,358
It's a huge move.
213
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,646
Would you uproot your entire
life for a job? Be honest.
214
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,985
Well, no. For a job, probably not.
215
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:09,986
But for New York?
Yeah, I would.
216
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,370
Which is why I'm not gonna
try to sell you on the job,
217
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:13,739
I'm gonna sell you on New York.
218
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,160
It's New York!
219
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,537
I've seen Seinfeld.
220
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,747
Not the bullshit tourist version.
221
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:22,956
Puppy dog eyes. Nice touch.
222
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,507
Yes! Come on.
223
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,009
Let me buy you a drink.
224
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:30,551
What's wrong?
225
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,594
What are you waiting for?
226
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:33,807
The light to change.
227
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,510
You LA folk are so cute.
228
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:36,936
Come on.
229
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,142
Come on, it's fine.
230
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:39,268
- See?
- Yep.
231
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:40,439
I'm gonna die.
232
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:44,520
Here we have Brooklyn Bridge,
downtown Manhattan,
233
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,863
and right in front of us,
an outdoor bar.
234
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,576
Alcohol. Now we're talking.
235
00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:56,206
You know, I like you.
236
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:58,082
I'll give you your choice of closes.
237
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:01,461
- What?
- How I close you on this job.
238
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:04,085
- Okay.
- So we got the flattery close.
239
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:07,797
Dylan, you are so good
at what you do.
240
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,219
The take-it-or-leave-it close.
241
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:12,214
Man, I don't care if you take it.
I get paid regardless.
242
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,806
The sympathy close.
243
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,349
You see, my kidneys are failing...
244
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,974
Why do women think the only way
to get a man to do what they want
245
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,224
is to manipulate him?
246
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:23,233
History. Personal experience.
Romantic comedies.
247
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,561
Come on, you're here for a reason,
whether you want to admit it or not.
248
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,823
Yeah, to explore an option.
Who wouldn't want to know their options?
249
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,403
Someone who's in the perfect situation.
250
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:32,734
Are you in the perfect situation?
251
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,911
Job? Absolutely.
252
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,242
Everything else? None of your business.
253
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,543
Shaun!
254
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:43,912
- Jamie!
- Hey!
255
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,664
- Hey, what's up, baby?
- What are you doing here?
256
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:46,839
- Shaun White?
- You look great.
257
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:49,088
- You been working out?
- Nope. Just been eating a lot.
258
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,467
- Okay.
- Yeah.
259
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:51,677
- You want a drink?
- Yeah!
260
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:52,925
- Let me get you a drink. Yeah?
- Okay.
261
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:55,431
- Careful! Careful.
- Sorry.
262
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,472
Hey, bro, that was like
a double McTwist 1260.
263
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,476
- Yeah, like the trick.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dylan.
264
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,144
Jamie, you want to get this guy
out of my face
265
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,608
before I break his fucking skull?
266
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,812
Sorry, bro. No disrespect.
I'm a huge fan.
267
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:12,316
You don't fucking know me, man!
Don't talk to me like you know me!
268
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,114
What, you think I'm all chill
'cause I snowboard and shit?
269
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,779
One more word,
I'll fuck you up like dynamite!
270
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:19,660
Dynamite?
271
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,621
I'm just playing, bro.
272
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,627
Any friend of Jamie's
is cool with me.
273
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:27,130
- It's all good, man.
- All good.
274
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,796
I'm whispering in the
ear of a dead man.
275
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,592
I'll see you later.
276
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:32,760
- Good to see you.
- Bye, honey.
277
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:37,849
Shaun White seems
really great. Nice dude.
278
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,806
- How do you know him again?
- I took his virginity.
279
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,391
So you guys have known
each other for a while?
280
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:44,973
No, it was like eight months ago.
281
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:46,854
Wow.
282
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,189
So does the carpet
match the drapes?
283
00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:52,022
It's hardwood floors,
if you know what I mean.
284
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,274
My God! Terrible visual.
285
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,985
Totally kidding, by the way.
Just an old friend of mine.
286
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,159
You guys use the same
leave-in conditioner.
287
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,456
His hair had nice body.
288
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:04,455
Can I get two gyro number
sixes, extra sauce?
289
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:08,038
- What are you looking for?
- The cops.
290
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,706
- Come on.
- The cops?
291
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,003
Yep...
292
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,001
Come on!
293
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,843
- Where are you taking me?
- You'll see.
294
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,821
Well, here's your open space.
295
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,365
Run, gazelle. Run!
296
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:43,198
- Wow. This is unbelievable.
- I know.
297
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:48,703
Okay, this was not on Seinfeld.
298
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:51,881
Come on, what's your dad
think about all this?
299
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,419
About what?
300
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,669
Well, he must have an opinion.
301
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,847
He used to write for the LA Times
for 23 years.
302
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,341
Somebody did their homework.
303
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:05,679
I have this thing at work.
It's called Google.
304
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,935
Come on, what's he
think about the job?
305
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,190
Actually, I didn't ask him.
306
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,230
Well, then you must
know what he'd say.
307
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:21,362
He'd tell me to go with my gut and that
he'd be proud of me no matter what I did.
308
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:24,914
Sounds like a really great man.
309
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,080
Yeah, he is.
310
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,878
Hey, do you want to
see something really cool?
311
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,464
I always want to see something really cool.
What...
312
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:34,962
Come on.
313
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,589
Okay.
314
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:42,261
Only place in the city
you can actually see the stars.
315
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,433
- Wow.
- Yeah.
316
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,769
- It's pretty awesome.
- I know.
317
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,147
I like to come up here to think.
318
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:52,107
Just when it gets a little too much
for me down there, it's like...
319
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,485
It's like my New York version
of a mountaintop.
320
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:58,155
Best part, no cell reception.
321
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,819
You take all your recruits up here?
322
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,282
Actually, never really
taken anyone up here.
323
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,459
- Really?
- Yeah.
324
00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,081
Thanks.
325
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,413
If you tell anyone about this,
I will rip your ears off
326
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:15,248
and staple them to your neck.
327
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:19,176
Everyone in this city
seems really violent.
328
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,801
Come on, let's go. One last stop.
329
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:25,509
- We're just getting comfortable.
- I know you are. Come on, buddy.
330
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,977
It's New York. Now hustle.
Come on.
331
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,730
- Come on, come on.
- You're showing me Times Square.
332
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:33,183
- This is not touristy at all!
- Would you shush? Come on.
333
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:35,605
Do we have to power-walk
everywhere we go?
334
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:36,982
Yes.
335
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:40,900
So everybody just kind of walks
wherever they want, then.
336
00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:43,030
How 'bout right here?
337
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:44,702
- What do you mean?
- We're here.
338
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,168
Oh, my God, it's 1988.
339
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,499
All right, smartass,
give it five seconds.
340
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:21,731
- What is this?
- It's a flash mob.
341
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,318
- Like on Oprah!
- Exactly.
342
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,031
Should we get out of the way?
343
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,246
No, no. Enjoy it. Take it all in.
344
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,246
- It's pretty damn cool.
- Right?
345
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:38,377
It's kind of rad.
346
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,376
Do these people get paid for this?
347
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:45,259
No. No. They kind of
just do it for fun.
348
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,178
It's nice to feel like you're
a part of something.
349
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,225
New York can be a little
bit lonely at times.
350
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,012
And you're trying to sell me on it.
351
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:55,390
Every place can be
a bit lonely sometimes.
352
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,730
- Be careful!
- Oh, my God.
353
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,572
- Come down.
- Okay.
354
00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:13,408
- Shit. Get back down.
- Okay.
355
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,882
- I'm in.
- What?
356
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,381
- You sold me.
- Really?
357
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:30,137
- I'll take the job.
- Oh, my God!
358
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:34,809
- What, are you surprised?
- No! No. Oh, you are gonna crush it!
359
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,603
Amazing.
360
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:41,277
- You can all go home now! Thank you!
- Very funny.
361
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,441
Come on.
362
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:45,277
Congratulations, sell-out!
363
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,775
Thank you, thank you.
364
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,160
All I'm saying is, it wasn't
so much the pilot's skill
365
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:52,247
that landed that plane on the river
as much as the mechanics of the aircraft.
366
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,744
Are you saying
that Captain Sully wasn't a hero?
367
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,121
No, no.
368
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:57,956
There were just other factors.
369
00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,962
Are you not an American?
370
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,306
Hey, fuckface, you want to get
your shit out of my car or what?
371
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:15,932
I... Yeah.
372
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,149
Welcome to New York.
Go and fuck a dick.
373
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:45,791
Fuck.
374
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:49,470
So, all I ask is that you give me
a little bit of time to gain your trust.
375
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:54,176
I know that I'm new at this, but what I lack
in experience I make up for in cliches.
376
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,844
So, my door is always open.
377
00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:01,353
But seriously, my
door is always open.
378
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:07,238
My first order of business,
lighter doors.
379
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,700
- Okay. Thanks, guys.
- Welcome, Dylan.
380
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,238
Hey, man. Tommy Bollinger,
Sports Editor.
381
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,036
Tommy, I've read your articles.
Love your writing.
382
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:18,791
Just trying to keep it realsies.
383
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:22,086
Listen, I'd love to take you out
one night and troll for cock.
384
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,589
- What?
- You got some pretty boys out there in LA,
385
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:28,380
but the quality in this
town is ridiculous.
386
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:30,552
We can tear this shit up.
387
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,217
I'm not gay, Tommy.
388
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:36,010
Really? I just assumed,
art director and, you know...
389
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,428
Hey. No skin, more pipe for me.
390
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:41,271
By the way, doing a piece
on racism in hockey.
391
00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:43,517
Love to get your
concepts on the font.
392
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:47,445
I'm thinking Helvetica, but I
could be persuaded to Courier New.
393
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:50,781
But what the fuck do I know?
I'm just the sports editor.
394
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:53,909
- You sure you're not gay?
- Yep.
395
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:55,236
- I'm sure.
- Okay.
396
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,034
All right.
397
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,034
- Hey.
- Hey.
398
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,711
I'd knock, but you don't have a door.
399
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,163
- I don't.
- No.
400
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,418
Hey, check this out.
401
00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:08,924
Dunkin-My- Tits-Hynes. Com.
402
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:12,261
- Yeah, it really does exist.
- I told you, but not that. This.
403
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,423
Awesome.
404
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,266
But it'd be even more awesome
if this happened.
405
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:20,265
Wait for it.
406
00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,184
Nice!
407
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,391
I got in touch with a guy
who puts flash mobs together.
408
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,817
We're thinking about using them
for guerrilla advertising.
409
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,271
Taking something so pure
and commercializing it?
410
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,064
Knew I found the right guy.
411
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,275
- Here I am.
- Okay. Here's your contract.
412
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:34,946
Sign it and I will be out of here.
413
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:36,948
Okay.
414
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:39,955
A whole year?
415
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,914
Why do I get the feeling this is the first
real commitment you've ever made?
416
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:46,416
It's not. T-Mobile, two years.
417
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,667
And, fuck, do I regret that one.
418
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:50,299
Do me a favor. Don't quit or get
fired before the year's up,
419
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:51,838
because otherwise
I don't get my bonus.
420
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,336
Wait, I can leave
whenever I want?
421
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,138
- What's the point of this contract?
- Just sign the damn thing.
422
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:57,469
Okay.
423
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:02,140
Nice doing business with
you, Dylan Harper.
424
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,478
Hey, I was thinking of getting
some lunch. Do you know a place?
425
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:09,818
Are you asking me out?
426
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,446
Whoa, I'm not asking you out.
427
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:13,693
I'm asking you to
show me a restaurant.
428
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,441
I mean, I'm the only friend
you have in New York.
429
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,777
- You don't wanna complicate that.
- I know. I'm not asking you out.
430
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,862
I mean, sure, we'd have fun,
roll around,
431
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,160
- get into some erotic humiliation fantasy.
- Erotic?
432
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,626
But it'd all blow up in our faces, end badly,
and we'd never speak to each other again.
433
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,328
I'm not fucking asking you out!
I swear to God!
434
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,706
Okay. You don't like
me like that.
435
00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:31,999
You don't have to be
so mean about it.
436
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:34,965
I'm sorry. I didn't...
437
00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:38,514
God, you're such a girl.
Come on, it's my treat.
438
00:21:40,174 --> 00:21:41,676
So was it an easy move?
439
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:43,685
- It was tough leaving my dad.
- Yeah.
440
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,146
My sister gave me some shit.
441
00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:47,390
But timing was right.
442
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,276
Timing was really right.
443
00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:53,571
- Is that your sister?
- No. My ex.
444
00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:55,860
She's great. Loves John Mayer.
445
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,200
Wants us to stay friends.
446
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:03,410
She's also convinced she can cure
me of my emotional unavailability.
447
00:22:05,199 --> 00:22:07,042
- You're emotionally unavailable?
- Oh, yeah.
448
00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:10,705
Oh, my God. I'm emotionally damaged.
I haven't seen you at the meetings.
449
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:13,173
I'm done with the
relationship thing.
450
00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:15,468
Girl, you are preaching
to the congregation.
451
00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:16,590
- Choir.
- What?
452
00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:19,380
"Preaching to the choir." You're
supposed to preach to the congregation.
453
00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:21,428
- That's the expression.
- Did you understand what I was saying?
454
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:22,596
Then don't be a dick about it.
455
00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:26,436
Oh, my God. Do you mind?
456
00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:28,351
- Please.
- Great.
457
00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:31,105
Hello. You've reached
Dylan Harper's cell phone.
458
00:22:31,225 --> 00:22:32,977
He's emotionally unavailable,
but if you'd like...
459
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:35,062
- John fucking Mayer!
- Hello?
460
00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:40,527
Wow. Hello? You really
do have shitty cell service.
461
00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:41,735
- Right?
- Yeah.
462
00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:45,618
I'm gonna have some
friends over tomorrow.
463
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:48,083
Why don't you come, and you
can meet some new people?
464
00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:50,704
I'm gonna have to check my
schedule. I'm really busy.
465
00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:53,289
I work at GQ now. It's not
some little blog on the Internet.
466
00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:57,797
- Hey.
- Hey.
467
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,303
- You made it.
- Sorry I'm late.
468
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:02,094
No, no. Please, come in, come in.
Thank you.
469
00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:04,095
Hey, everybody! Hey!
470
00:23:04,425 --> 00:23:07,269
This here is Dylan. He's from LA.
471
00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:10,890
He's the reason I
can afford all this beer.
472
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:14,773
Okay, all right.
473
00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:19,448
Am I an animal?
474
00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:21,942
Yeah.
475
00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:24,073
Fuck, I'm pretty good at this.
476
00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:53,307
Lieutenant Kali's a West Coast street
artist I got into about five years ago.
477
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:56,645
- His postmodern interpretation...
- This shit is amazing.
478
00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:57,816
I know, right?
479
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:05,445
You will be able to find the perfect candidate
to fill the position at your company.
480
00:24:06,153 --> 00:24:07,154
Okay, here we go.
481
00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:11,500
First up is Joey Morena,
who's fluent in Vietnamese
482
00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:13,665
and has had 10 years of experience
in the culinary field.
483
00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:23,137
I can't do this any more.
484
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:27,174
No, I think we both need to go get happy.
485
00:24:27,841 --> 00:24:29,639
It's not adding up to a hundred any more.
486
00:24:29,718 --> 00:24:30,810
Yeah.
487
00:24:30,886 --> 00:24:32,729
Looks like New York's
all out of blueberries.
488
00:24:33,013 --> 00:24:34,230
Goodbye, Flapjack.
489
00:24:36,392 --> 00:24:38,019
Taxi! Taxicab!
490
00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:39,311
Flapjack.
491
00:24:39,395 --> 00:24:41,864
Why do all these movies
have such bad music?
492
00:24:42,231 --> 00:24:44,700
It's so that you know how to feel
every single second.
493
00:24:44,858 --> 00:24:45,905
"I'm heartbroken."
494
00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:50,572
"I'm getting married
to the man of my dreams."
495
00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:55,661
"I'm sneaking through an office."
496
00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:00,006
Madison, wait!
497
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:02,426
Madison!
498
00:25:02,543 --> 00:25:04,420
Madison, wait!
499
00:25:05,546 --> 00:25:06,593
Bryce.
500
00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:09,391
How did you know
I was at Grand Central Station?
501
00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:12,352
You're not. You're in Los Angeles,
where this movie was shot.
502
00:25:12,428 --> 00:25:14,226
I know you better than
you know yourself.
503
00:25:15,597 --> 00:25:18,191
And your crazy friend Susie
across the hall told me.
504
00:25:18,726 --> 00:25:19,943
Susie.
505
00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:22,196
Why are you here?
506
00:25:22,396 --> 00:25:23,613
To tell you that
507
00:25:24,732 --> 00:25:26,609
I love that sunsets make you cry
508
00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:30,078
and I don't care that you failed
your real estate exam,
509
00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:32,619
and I'm glad that you
have a five-date rule.
510
00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:35,784
And that I love you.
511
00:25:36,410 --> 00:25:37,957
Not as much as I love you.
512
00:25:40,414 --> 00:25:42,587
Now boarding, track 5, love.
513
00:25:43,083 --> 00:25:45,427
God, I wish my life
was a movie sometimes.
514
00:25:45,753 --> 00:25:47,551
You know, I'd never have to worry
about my hair,
515
00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:49,389
or having to go to the bathroom.
516
00:25:49,882 --> 00:25:51,976
And then, when I'm
at my lowest point,
517
00:25:52,259 --> 00:25:55,433
some guy would chase me down
the street, pour his heart out,
518
00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:56,643
and we'd kiss.
519
00:25:57,473 --> 00:25:58,816
Happily ever after.
520
00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:02,607
I mean, a horse and carriage?
521
00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:05,774
Come on, that is awesome.
522
00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:08,367
Not as awesome as this
ambiguously upbeat pop song
523
00:26:08,442 --> 00:26:10,069
that has nothing to
do with the plot
524
00:26:10,152 --> 00:26:14,908
they put in at the end to try to convince you
that you had a great time at this shitty movie.
525
00:26:15,949 --> 00:26:18,953
You know, why don't they ever make a movie
about what happens after the big kiss?
526
00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:20,250
They do. It's called porn.
527
00:26:22,623 --> 00:26:24,250
God, I miss sex.
528
00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:27,628
Right? I mean, sometimes you
just need it. It's like...
529
00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:30,639
I don't know, it's like
cracking your neck.
530
00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:32,800
Why does it always gotta
come with complications?
531
00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:34,802
- And emotions.
- And guilt.
532
00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:36,303
Guilt.
533
00:26:36,804 --> 00:26:38,681
- It's women's fault.
- What?
534
00:26:38,847 --> 00:26:42,522
You heard me. "Hold me. Let's
spend the rest of our lives together."
535
00:26:42,643 --> 00:26:44,020
Oh, please, you are no better.
536
00:26:44,353 --> 00:26:47,983
"Oh, yeah, baby, come on, now.
Say my name. Yeah..."
537
00:26:48,816 --> 00:26:50,693
"I'm done. How was I?"
538
00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:51,819
Who have you been with?
539
00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:54,825
Why can't it not be like that?
540
00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:59,368
It's a physical act.
Like playing tennis.
541
00:26:59,827 --> 00:27:02,046
Two people should be able to have
sex like they're playing tennis.
542
00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:03,960
Yeah, I mean, no one wants to
go away for the weekend
543
00:27:04,039 --> 00:27:05,336
after they play tennis.
544
00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:08,711
It's just a game. You shake
hands, get on with your shit.
545
00:27:09,002 --> 00:27:10,174
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
546
00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:13,890
Do you want more beer?
547
00:27:14,842 --> 00:27:16,014
Okay.
548
00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:24,817
- Jamie!
- Yeah?
549
00:27:25,394 --> 00:27:27,112
- Let's play tennis.
- What?
550
00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:28,564
Let's have sex like
we're playing tennis.
551
00:27:28,689 --> 00:27:29,906
Get the hell out of here.
552
00:27:30,566 --> 00:27:32,694
Don't laugh. This could be great.
553
00:27:32,860 --> 00:27:34,407
This could take all the
weirdness out of it.
554
00:27:34,528 --> 00:27:36,951
Well, we talked about this.
I don't like you like that.
555
00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:39,579
I don't like you like that either.
That's why it's perfect.
556
00:27:40,701 --> 00:27:42,499
I don't even know if
I find you attractive.
557
00:27:42,578 --> 00:27:43,704
That's cute.
558
00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:45,422
Well, I do have a thing for jerks.
559
00:27:46,540 --> 00:27:48,167
Okay, well, do you even
find me attractive?
560
00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:49,672
- That's cute.
- No, no, no.
561
00:27:49,751 --> 00:27:52,220
Before you got to know
my awesome personality.
562
00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:53,380
Strictly physical.
563
00:27:54,256 --> 00:27:55,678
First time you saw me.
564
00:27:57,050 --> 00:27:59,223
- This is just two people talking?
- Yeah.
565
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,724
Two girls over drinks
at Bennigan's. Go.
566
00:28:04,391 --> 00:28:07,395
I liked your eyes. I didn't think
I'd ever seen such big, beautiful eyes.
567
00:28:10,355 --> 00:28:13,529
Your lips. Yeah. I thought
you might be a good kisser.
568
00:28:13,859 --> 00:28:15,031
I am.
569
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:16,904
- Your breasts.
- What about them?
570
00:28:17,029 --> 00:28:18,326
- They intrigued me.
- Really?
571
00:28:18,405 --> 00:28:20,703
- Yeah.
- I think they're so tiny.
572
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,747
- They're still breasts.
- Thanks.
573
00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:25,454
- I liked your hands.
- Mouth.
574
00:28:25,787 --> 00:28:26,834
- Butt.
- Voice.
575
00:28:26,914 --> 00:28:27,961
- Chest.
- Eyes.
576
00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:29,628
- You said that.
- I meant it.
577
00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:35,760
You swear you don't want anything
more from me other than sex?
578
00:28:35,881 --> 00:28:37,599
You swear you don't want
anything more from me?
579
00:28:38,217 --> 00:28:41,266
I know how you girls get.
Tick-took, tick-took.
580
00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:42,433
Stop it.
581
00:28:43,472 --> 00:28:47,443
- What are you doing?
- I'm pulling up my Bible app.
582
00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:50,400
- You have a Bible app?
- Yes. I am a good girl.
583
00:28:50,604 --> 00:28:51,776
- Hand on the iPad.
- Okay.
584
00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,277
Wait, no.
585
00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:54,612
Why can't they figure this out?
586
00:28:54,983 --> 00:28:58,112
No... This thing thinks
I'm you and you're me.
587
00:28:58,237 --> 00:28:59,705
Keep your hand still.
I'll move the iPad.
588
00:28:59,780 --> 00:29:01,123
- It's actually making me dizzy.
- Hold on.
589
00:29:02,449 --> 00:29:03,666
There we go.
590
00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:09,456
No relationship.
591
00:29:09,831 --> 00:29:11,003
No emotions.
592
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:12,751
Just sex.
593
00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:15,462
Whatever happens,
we stay friends.
594
00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:17,927
- Swear.
- Swear.
595
00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:23,307
Okay.
596
00:29:27,849 --> 00:29:30,318
So I guess we should just start.
597
00:29:31,645 --> 00:29:32,817
Okay.
598
00:29:33,981 --> 00:29:34,982
I'll serve.
599
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:37,405
That's really...
That's enough of the tennis.
600
00:29:37,484 --> 00:29:38,576
Let's go to the bedroom.
601
00:29:38,652 --> 00:29:40,654
What's wrong with the couch?
It's less emotional.
602
00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,122
The bedroom has better light.
603
00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:44,913
And since we're just friends, I don't
have to be insecure about my body.
604
00:29:44,992 --> 00:29:46,994
Come on, okay? You're beautiful.
605
00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:49,167
You have nothing to
be insecure about.
606
00:29:50,706 --> 00:29:53,209
No, you see, that is way
too emotionally supportive
607
00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:55,301
and you need to
just lock that down.
608
00:29:57,546 --> 00:29:59,640
- Your ass is a little bony.
- Much better.
609
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,684
My nipples are sensitive,
I don't like dirty talk,
610
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:05,805
and had I known this was gonna happen,
I would have shaved my legs this morning.
611
00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:08,436
My chin is ticklish,
I sneeze sometimes after I come,
612
00:30:08,515 --> 00:30:09,983
and if I'd have known
this was gonna happen,
613
00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:11,275
I wouldn't have shaved
my legs this morning.
614
00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:12,523
Okie-dokie.
615
00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:17,153
I keep my socks on.
Intimacy issues.
616
00:30:17,232 --> 00:30:19,155
Great, 'cause feet gross me out.
Daddy issues.
617
00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:20,577
Great.
618
00:30:24,698 --> 00:30:25,995
I can work with that.
619
00:30:28,869 --> 00:30:29,916
Should be fine.
620
00:30:32,873 --> 00:30:34,250
I can't believe I'm doing this.
621
00:30:34,583 --> 00:30:36,301
Should we stop?
We could just go for a run.
622
00:30:36,376 --> 00:30:37,923
I don't know, are we
getting too old for this?
623
00:30:38,879 --> 00:30:40,597
- Sex?
- No, casual sex.
624
00:30:40,714 --> 00:30:43,433
It just, I don't know,
feels a little collegey.
625
00:30:43,717 --> 00:30:45,560
- I could sing some Third Eye Blind.
- Okay.
626
00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:51,475
- That's not Third Eye Blind.
- I'm pretty sure that's Third Eye Blind.
627
00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:52,605
Nope.
628
00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,573
- What's wrong?
- We're just doing this once.
629
00:30:58,690 --> 00:30:59,862
- I totally agree.
- Okay.
630
00:30:59,941 --> 00:31:01,158
- Great.
- Great.
631
00:31:01,234 --> 00:31:02,451
Little faster.
632
00:31:02,569 --> 00:31:04,571
- More circular.
- Watch my chin.
633
00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:06,080
- Touch my ears.
- Okay.
634
00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:08,959
Kiss my neck.
635
00:31:10,035 --> 00:31:11,628
- Say my name.
- Dylan Francis Harper Jr.
636
00:31:11,745 --> 00:31:12,746
Not my full name.
637
00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:14,088
Sorry, I had to fill out
a lot of your paperwork.
638
00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:15,253
- Stop talking.
- Okay.
639
00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:17,251
Oh, my God, you're really...
640
00:31:19,086 --> 00:31:24,593
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I,
J, K, L, M, N, O, P...
641
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:27,060
- Dylan, I...
- Relax.
642
00:31:27,135 --> 00:31:29,308
Just a friend going
down on another friend.
643
00:31:29,429 --> 00:31:31,147
Oh, yeah, baby. Tornado.
644
00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:36,441
What, what?
645
00:31:36,603 --> 00:31:38,697
What are you trying to do?
Dig your way to China?
646
00:31:38,772 --> 00:31:40,149
- I'm good at this.
- Says who?
647
00:31:40,273 --> 00:31:41,616
Every girl I've been with.
648
00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:44,111
Well, they're either lying or their
vaginas are made out of burlap.
649
00:31:44,277 --> 00:31:46,120
So, relax. You're not a lizard.
650
00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:47,948
- Okay, fine.
- Okay, fine.
651
00:31:50,742 --> 00:31:52,244
- A little to the right.
- Okay.
652
00:31:52,452 --> 00:31:54,079
- A little bit more to the left.
- Roger that.
653
00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:55,630
- Now go down.
- Here we go.
654
00:31:55,914 --> 00:31:58,258
- A little more... Whoa, too far!
- Sorry.
655
00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:05,257
- What's wrong?
- Nothing!
656
00:32:05,340 --> 00:32:06,842
When women start to scream,
it could be misconstrued.
657
00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:08,435
Just keep going!
658
00:32:17,978 --> 00:32:19,025
Yeah, you know it.
659
00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:25,823
Well, let me tell you how I like it.
660
00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:28,746
See, most girls think
you should start off soft,
661
00:32:28,822 --> 00:32:32,292
but if you just get in,
really go for it, ..
662
00:32:45,130 --> 00:32:46,507
Yeah, you know it.
663
00:33:05,859 --> 00:33:08,954
- Let's go with Obama.
- No, no, no, no!
664
00:33:09,029 --> 00:33:11,873
It's too easy, too predictable.
Go with Shaun.
665
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:16,871
He's stylish, transcendent of sport,
has an ass like a kumquat.
666
00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:19,873
- I hear he's kind of a jerk.
- No, he's not.
667
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,087
You're just threatened by him
668
00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:23,631
because he's the greatest snow
sport athlete in the universe
669
00:33:23,710 --> 00:33:25,678
and he gets more squirrel
than an oak tree.
670
00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:27,927
Hey, Dylan? Jamie Rellis is
in the lobby for you.
671
00:33:28,048 --> 00:33:29,095
Okay, thanks.
672
00:33:29,716 --> 00:33:31,514
Let's hit this after lunch.
Okay, guys?
673
00:33:32,052 --> 00:33:34,180
Nobody wants to fuck
Obama, brah.
674
00:33:34,262 --> 00:33:35,605
He's got ears like an elephant.
675
00:33:35,722 --> 00:33:37,895
That's not the part of
an elephant you want.
676
00:33:41,937 --> 00:33:43,063
- Hi!
- Hi.
677
00:33:46,525 --> 00:33:48,277
Sorry to just show up like this.
678
00:33:48,443 --> 00:33:49,569
No, no, no, it's fine.
679
00:33:50,362 --> 00:33:51,409
So...
680
00:33:54,199 --> 00:33:55,246
- Wanna take a walk?
- Love to.
681
00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:57,627
Great. Okay.
682
00:34:03,416 --> 00:34:04,713
Okay, so about what happened, I...
683
00:34:04,793 --> 00:34:07,672
- It was crazy and we shouldn't have done it.
- Exactly. No, no, exactly.
684
00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:09,006
I mean, it is so not me.
685
00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:11,091
I totally agree.
Let's forget it happened.
686
00:34:11,383 --> 00:34:14,762
Great. I mean, look,
I've had one-night stands.
687
00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:18,106
We both have had one-night stands,
none of which we're proud of, but...
688
00:34:19,099 --> 00:34:20,100
Really?
689
00:34:20,976 --> 00:34:23,149
Look, to think that you and I
could just have sex
690
00:34:23,270 --> 00:34:25,443
and without it compromising
anything was just so...
691
00:34:25,605 --> 00:34:27,903
- Misguided.
- Exactly.
692
00:34:28,149 --> 00:34:29,492
I was gonna call you this morning.
693
00:34:29,734 --> 00:34:30,781
But you didn't.
694
00:34:30,944 --> 00:34:31,945
But I didn't.
695
00:34:32,112 --> 00:34:34,285
And you see, it's already
coming between us and I really...
696
00:34:34,406 --> 00:34:35,703
I just don't want it to.
697
00:34:35,782 --> 00:34:36,829
It's not going to.
698
00:34:36,950 --> 00:34:39,829
Look, I know that I act all tough
and I talk all tough, but really...
699
00:34:39,953 --> 00:34:42,752
It's just a front to protect yourself
from your own vulnerability.
700
00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:45,292
What are you, my
fucking therapist now?
701
00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:50,097
No, I'm a friend. Who knows that
every time you curse, you blink.
702
00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:53,642
- Like your body's rejecting the word.
- It does not.
703
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:54,801
- Fuck you.
- Blinked.
704
00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:56,644
- No, I didn't fucking blink.
- Blinked again.
705
00:34:56,803 --> 00:34:58,430
- Shit.
- Ah, didn't blink.
706
00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:00,106
"Shit" you're okay with.
707
00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:02,188
- It was stupid.
- Yes.
708
00:35:02,309 --> 00:35:05,188
- We're friends, let's stay friends.
- Yes. Yes, this, I don't wanna lose this.
709
00:35:05,312 --> 00:35:06,438
Me neither.
710
00:35:06,646 --> 00:35:07,647
- Great.
- Fantastic.
711
00:35:07,814 --> 00:35:09,612
Portrait for the lovely couple?
712
00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:19,785
- What the hell are we doing?
- I don't know.
713
00:35:22,162 --> 00:35:24,335
- Rub my hair.
- Kiss my neck.
714
00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:28,506
- Watch my nipple.
- All right, all right.
715
00:35:30,337 --> 00:35:32,010
- I didn't know you had a tattoo.
- Yeah.
716
00:35:32,339 --> 00:35:33,465
Why didn't I notice that before?
717
00:35:33,673 --> 00:35:35,050
Because we were drunk.
718
00:35:35,300 --> 00:35:37,143
- Was it your dog?
- No. Never had one.
719
00:35:37,302 --> 00:35:38,394
But everyone else did.
720
00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:40,184
And I thought having a dog
meant you had a normal family,
721
00:35:40,305 --> 00:35:41,978
which at 17 I desperately wanted.
722
00:35:42,057 --> 00:35:43,980
So as a sign of rebellion you got a tattoo
723
00:35:44,184 --> 00:35:45,652
of the most conventional thing
you could think of.
724
00:35:45,727 --> 00:35:47,354
It was super awesome back then.
725
00:35:47,562 --> 00:35:48,654
- Check it.
- Okay.
726
00:35:48,855 --> 00:35:50,107
- A lightning bolt?
- Eighteen.
727
00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:51,407
- Wanted superpowers.
- Yeah.
728
00:35:52,359 --> 00:35:54,236
I was a little into Harry Potter back then.
729
00:35:54,361 --> 00:35:56,955
- Were you also gay back then?
- Harry Potter doesn't make you gay!
730
00:35:57,030 --> 00:35:58,828
- Okay.
- Are you sure about this?
731
00:35:58,907 --> 00:35:59,954
- Are you?
- No.
732
00:36:00,033 --> 00:36:01,205
Me neither.
733
00:36:05,664 --> 00:36:07,883
- How was your day?
- It was okay.
734
00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:10,218
- I had a turkey sandwich for lunch.
- How was that?
735
00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:12,053
It wasn't that good. How was your day?
736
00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:14,548
Still trying to figure out that
subway system. It is tricky.
737
00:36:17,384 --> 00:36:18,886
And it's out of here!
738
00:36:25,225 --> 00:36:26,898
- My butt.
- What?
739
00:36:27,018 --> 00:36:28,565
- Oh, my butt.
- Really?
740
00:36:28,728 --> 00:36:31,823
No, I mean my butt, it's cramping.
Can you grab a pillow?
741
00:36:31,898 --> 00:36:33,115
Okay, yeah, yeah.
742
00:36:34,567 --> 00:36:36,240
- So, no butt?
- No.
743
00:36:39,739 --> 00:36:42,208
- Really? Already?
- Just kidding.
744
00:36:47,122 --> 00:36:49,420
- Do you like this position?
- Yeah, it's all right.
745
00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:54,262
I gotta be honest, I feel
a little emasculated.
746
00:36:55,088 --> 00:36:59,138
A naked girl is lying on top of you
and you feel emasculated?
747
00:37:00,468 --> 00:37:02,687
- Little bit.
- You do know what that word means, right?
748
00:37:02,762 --> 00:37:04,810
Yes, I know what it means, and I feel it.
749
00:37:04,931 --> 00:37:07,104
Okay, all right, you big baby.
750
00:37:07,642 --> 00:37:09,394
- Chinese fire drill.
- Okay. Go!
751
00:37:11,604 --> 00:37:12,776
Okay.
752
00:37:15,608 --> 00:37:17,076
- Do you feel manly now?
- I do.
753
00:37:17,277 --> 00:37:18,494
Okay. Put it in.
754
00:37:19,946 --> 00:37:20,947
That's not funny.
755
00:37:21,281 --> 00:37:22,783
- It's kind of funny.
- It's kind of funny.
756
00:37:27,287 --> 00:37:28,459
- Hold on.
- What's wrong?
757
00:37:28,580 --> 00:37:29,581
I have to go to the bathroom.
758
00:37:29,664 --> 00:37:32,008
- What? Now?
- Yes, now. I had a lot of watermelon.
759
00:37:43,303 --> 00:37:44,350
What's going on in there?
760
00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:46,098
Do you know how hard it is
to pee with a hard-on?
761
00:37:46,181 --> 00:37:47,228
No, actually.
762
00:37:47,307 --> 00:37:49,605
It's like two lanes of traffic
merging into one. It takes time.
763
00:37:56,274 --> 00:37:57,776
- Are you pooping?
- No.
764
00:37:57,859 --> 00:37:59,987
- Why are you sitting down?
- It's easier to control.
765
00:38:00,195 --> 00:38:02,994
- You want a mess in here?
- No. No, no. Sorry.
766
00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:18,175
Yeah.
767
00:38:18,963 --> 00:38:20,010
Yup...
768
00:38:23,134 --> 00:38:24,226
What? Did I leak?
769
00:38:24,344 --> 00:38:25,345
Did you wash your hands?
770
00:38:25,845 --> 00:38:26,892
Oh, come on, dude.
771
00:38:27,013 --> 00:38:28,640
I know we're just friends,
but I'm still a lady.
772
00:38:29,015 --> 00:38:32,360
Now get back in there, wash your hands
and then bring that fine ass back here.
773
00:38:32,477 --> 00:38:35,026
If you keep talking to me like that,
I'm not gonna come back.
774
00:38:40,693 --> 00:38:43,572
- My hammies are killing me.
- Have a banana, they're in the fridge.
775
00:38:43,822 --> 00:38:45,074
Why would you keep bananas in the fridge?
776
00:38:45,365 --> 00:38:47,538
- It dries them out.
- It doesn't. They have a peel.
777
00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:49,161
It's not armor. Air still gets in.
778
00:38:49,244 --> 00:38:50,496
Do you want a banana or not?
779
00:38:50,703 --> 00:38:52,080
Not if they're dry. I'm not an animal.
780
00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:55,879
At least I have food in the house.
781
00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:57,840
All you have at home
is drinkable yogurt.
782
00:38:58,169 --> 00:39:00,171
I like to drink my yogurt.
It's a timesaver.
783
00:39:00,255 --> 00:39:02,724
Well, then you think you could use
that time to shave your stubble.
784
00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:04,309
Your whiskers are like knives.
785
00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:08,059
Now, see, if you were my girlfriend,
I couldn't tell you to shut up right now.
786
00:39:08,221 --> 00:39:10,565
And because you're just
my buddy, I can tell you
787
00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:15,404
that if you don't start shaving up here,
I'm gonna stop shaving down there.
788
00:39:20,275 --> 00:39:21,492
Hey, hey. Hey...
789
00:39:21,568 --> 00:39:23,115
- Mom!
- "Mom"?
790
00:39:24,571 --> 00:39:27,120
My eyes are covered.
I don't know what you're doing.
791
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:29,914
I can't see you putting on
your black underpants.
792
00:39:30,034 --> 00:39:32,002
Jamie, baby, I missed you.
793
00:39:32,078 --> 00:39:33,421
On, baby.
794
00:39:33,705 --> 00:39:35,924
Did your boobs get bigger?
Mom, I'm over here.
795
00:39:36,457 --> 00:39:39,051
Hey, baby. Oh, no, they didn't.
796
00:39:39,252 --> 00:39:42,973
- What are you doing here?
- Victor turned out to be a total Lombard.
797
00:39:43,256 --> 00:39:46,601
L-O-M-B-A-R-D.
"Lots Of Money But A Real Dullard."
798
00:39:46,718 --> 00:39:47,970
Victor, her fiancé.
799
00:39:48,094 --> 00:39:49,471
Ex-fiancé.
800
00:39:49,596 --> 00:39:51,644
- What happened?
- Nothing. He was just blah.
801
00:39:51,764 --> 00:39:53,607
I mean, nice, but it was
like talking to dirt.
802
00:39:53,725 --> 00:39:56,444
I woke up one day and I said, "Lorna..."
I'm Lorna.
803
00:39:57,437 --> 00:40:00,281
- Dylan.
- I said, "Lorna, this is not your bliss."
804
00:40:00,648 --> 00:40:02,366
- "Just because you're 39..."
- Forty-eight.
805
00:40:02,442 --> 00:40:05,070
"...It doesn't mean you have to settle.
He's not an insurance claim."
806
00:40:05,153 --> 00:40:07,030
So I caught the first
plane off the island.
807
00:40:07,113 --> 00:40:09,787
- Cleveland's not an island.
- Oh, baby, it is.
808
00:40:10,116 --> 00:40:12,744
Anyway, here I am.
It's so good to see you.
809
00:40:12,827 --> 00:40:15,250
You never told me
you had a hot boyfriend.
810
00:40:15,455 --> 00:40:17,207
He's not my boyfriend, Mom.
811
00:40:17,290 --> 00:40:19,167
- That's right, we're just friends.
- I love it.
812
00:40:19,292 --> 00:40:21,670
It's like the '70s in here.
813
00:40:22,462 --> 00:40:24,635
That was a better time. Just sex.
814
00:40:24,756 --> 00:40:27,805
A little grass, a little glue...
Not during pregnancy.
815
00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:29,599
Well, not during the final trimester.
816
00:40:29,677 --> 00:40:32,180
But no complications. It's great!
817
00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:35,854
Okay, well, that's technically,
I guess, what this is.
818
00:40:36,017 --> 00:40:37,314
That's exactly what this is.
819
00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:39,278
So my daughter is
just your slampiece?
820
00:40:39,479 --> 00:40:41,322
No, no. "Slampiece"?
821
00:40:41,439 --> 00:40:43,658
I'm just kidding. Slam away.
822
00:40:43,816 --> 00:40:45,113
Have fun. I think this is great.
823
00:40:45,193 --> 00:40:46,820
The only thing is, it
takes you off the market.
824
00:40:46,986 --> 00:40:48,954
But what the hell.
The whole reason you go to the market
825
00:40:49,030 --> 00:40:51,783
is to buy the produce,
which you already got.
826
00:40:52,992 --> 00:40:56,997
It's so good to see you, baby.
I'm only gonna be here a few weeks.
827
00:40:57,121 --> 00:40:58,998
I'm starving. You got any gin?
828
00:40:59,332 --> 00:41:00,959
It's in the kitchen.
829
00:41:02,460 --> 00:41:03,507
You gotta go.
830
00:41:03,962 --> 00:41:06,306
- Is she wearing Axe body spray?
- I don't know. Come on.
831
00:41:06,381 --> 00:41:08,679
Bananas in the refrigerator?
What are you, Puerto Rican?
832
00:41:09,008 --> 00:41:12,558
- That is terrible, Mother.
- Just joking. Your dad was Puerto Rican.
833
00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:14,181
What? You said that he was Greek.
834
00:41:14,347 --> 00:41:15,815
- Potato, potato...
- Get your shoes.
835
00:41:15,890 --> 00:41:18,439
- Okay. All right.
- Well, not... Just go, just go.
836
00:41:18,518 --> 00:41:20,065
I'll just put these on on the bike?
837
00:41:20,186 --> 00:41:21,233
- Yeah.
- Okay.
838
00:41:21,854 --> 00:41:22,901
It was nice to have met you...
839
00:41:23,022 --> 00:41:24,615
- Hey.
- And your pants are coming off.
840
00:41:24,691 --> 00:41:26,739
Oh, my... Mom! Mom, please!
841
00:41:29,028 --> 00:41:30,029
Back, back!
842
00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:35,919
That's what I'm talking about!
843
00:41:36,703 --> 00:41:39,206
We're kicking every
gay ass out here!
844
00:41:39,414 --> 00:41:41,758
I don't say that pejoratively,
I say it hopefully.
845
00:41:41,874 --> 00:41:43,376
Hold it. Any of you gay?
846
00:41:43,543 --> 00:41:45,045
- Not even you?
- Come on, man.
847
00:41:45,169 --> 00:41:47,263
Come talk to me after.
Give me five minutes of your time.
848
00:41:47,380 --> 00:41:49,098
I might be able to let
you see some reason.
849
00:41:55,263 --> 00:41:57,015
Look at you in the house!
850
00:41:57,098 --> 00:41:58,224
Come on, baby!
851
00:41:59,726 --> 00:42:00,852
I'm supposed to
meet up with Jamie.
852
00:42:01,936 --> 00:42:03,609
Who's that, that headhunter?
853
00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:05,198
What, you guys going out now?
854
00:42:05,273 --> 00:42:07,901
No, no, no, we're just friends.
We're messing around a little bit.
855
00:42:08,276 --> 00:42:09,994
- What do you mean?
- Sleeping together.
856
00:42:10,069 --> 00:42:11,366
But it's just sex.
857
00:42:11,446 --> 00:42:13,073
That never works, bro.
858
00:42:13,197 --> 00:42:16,918
She's a girl. Sex always means more
to them even if they don't admit it.
859
00:42:17,076 --> 00:42:18,168
Jamie's different.
860
00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:20,838
Does she have a penis
where most girls have a vagina?
861
00:42:20,913 --> 00:42:22,586
- No penis.
- Then she's no different.
862
00:42:22,915 --> 00:42:24,292
What do you know
about women, anyway?
863
00:42:24,417 --> 00:42:27,091
Dude, I've turned down more tail
than you'll ever have.
864
00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:28,303
Yeah, bro. You're gay.
865
00:42:28,629 --> 00:42:32,259
But the offers still keep rolling
in, naturally. Look at me.
866
00:42:32,633 --> 00:42:38,640
And, hey, I love women. They're beautiful,
majestic, mysterious, mesmerizing creatures.
867
00:42:38,890 --> 00:42:42,736
Smart, empathetic.
Far superior to men in every way.
868
00:42:43,102 --> 00:42:46,572
And if I had a choice, I would
be with women to my dying day.
869
00:42:46,647 --> 00:42:49,821
But me likes cock so I'm
strict-aly dick-aly.
870
00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:53,246
So it's always just about sex, then?
871
00:42:53,321 --> 00:42:56,666
No. I've been in love.
I went down that rabbit hole.
872
00:42:56,991 --> 00:42:58,288
You know what I discovered?
873
00:42:58,951 --> 00:43:01,045
It's not who you want to spend
Friday night with,
874
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:03,589
it's who you want to spend
all day Saturday with.
875
00:43:03,664 --> 00:43:04,756
Feel me, Felix?
876
00:43:04,832 --> 00:43:08,177
Yeah, but then it's every Saturday
for the rest of your life.
877
00:43:08,753 --> 00:43:10,096
It's okay, you don't get it.
878
00:43:10,338 --> 00:43:12,511
It's no big deal. But you will.
879
00:43:13,174 --> 00:43:17,099
One day, you'll meet someone
and it'll literally take your breath away.
880
00:43:17,261 --> 00:43:21,357
Like you can't breathe.
Like no oxygen to the lungs.
881
00:43:21,516 --> 00:43:23,860
- Like a fish...
- Yeah, I get it, Tommy.
882
00:43:24,352 --> 00:43:25,444
Yeah, you don't.
883
00:43:25,978 --> 00:43:28,356
Nice work on that new online
site, by the way.
884
00:43:28,815 --> 00:43:30,317
What was the font
on that headline?
885
00:43:30,608 --> 00:43:31,700
It was Times Roman.
886
00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:34,116
Times Roman. Inspired. I'm out.
887
00:43:40,660 --> 00:43:41,707
You have a boat?
888
00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:45,169
I live in Jersey.
And I ain't taking no ferry.
889
00:43:45,832 --> 00:43:47,709
Unless it's out to
dinner and a show.
890
00:44:04,016 --> 00:44:05,017
- Hey.
- Yeah.
891
00:44:05,143 --> 00:44:10,445
You and that Dylan? Way to go.
I mean the whole friendship-sex thing.
892
00:44:10,523 --> 00:44:12,196
Kudos, baby, kudos.
893
00:44:13,693 --> 00:44:15,036
It's not that big of a deal.
894
00:44:15,236 --> 00:44:19,161
It's just surprising. I always thought
you were a true-love kind of girl.
895
00:44:19,490 --> 00:44:22,539
Whatever, Mom. It's not like
it's stopping me from anything.
896
00:44:22,702 --> 00:44:24,545
That's what I thought back in '78.
897
00:44:25,204 --> 00:44:26,672
And every year since.
898
00:44:26,914 --> 00:44:29,258
I'm just... I'm flattered, actually.
899
00:44:29,375 --> 00:44:31,343
The apple doesn't
fall far from the tree.
900
00:44:32,211 --> 00:44:34,009
It's just surprising.
901
00:44:35,506 --> 00:44:38,225
- There, done. It's... There we go.
- Okay.
902
00:44:39,844 --> 00:44:42,848
You look great! You look great.
You look like a princess.
903
00:44:43,556 --> 00:44:44,728
- Yeah!
- Really?
904
00:44:44,891 --> 00:44:46,234
- Yeah.
- Okay.
905
00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:50,196
Hey, my friend gave me his house
in Montauk for July 4th.
906
00:44:50,271 --> 00:44:53,195
Let's you and me go away together.
No men, no bullshit.
907
00:44:53,274 --> 00:44:56,073
Just mother-daughter.
Like a Nora Ephron movie.
908
00:44:56,861 --> 00:44:59,410
When was the last time
we spent a full weekend together?
909
00:44:59,572 --> 00:45:02,576
When I was eight, that time in Vermont.
We got snowed in with the ski instructor.
910
00:45:02,700 --> 00:45:03,792
- Demitri.
- Bill.
911
00:45:03,910 --> 00:45:05,253
He reminded me a lot of your father.
912
00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:08,923
Dark curls, olive skin,
Cold War accent.
913
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:10,883
- My father was Russian?
- I don't remember.
914
00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:14,091
But what I do remember is we drank
a lot of vodka and shot a lot of guns.
915
00:45:14,378 --> 00:45:17,757
Mom, this "who's your daddy"
game is getting really old.
916
00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:20,601
I know I haven't been
the best mother in the world...
917
00:45:23,596 --> 00:45:25,064
I'm sorry, were you waiting
for me to jump in?
918
00:45:25,264 --> 00:45:28,393
Come on! Go away with me.
Come on!
919
00:45:29,227 --> 00:45:31,070
Come on. Come on.
920
00:45:31,479 --> 00:45:34,323
Okay, we'll do it.
It'll be fun, yeah?
921
00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:42,949
- Mom...
- I was trying to bond!
922
00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:45,452
It was either this or sniff glue.
923
00:45:50,998 --> 00:45:53,251
- Sorry about my mom.
- I thought she was funny.
924
00:45:53,334 --> 00:45:56,133
Yeah, she's really funny
when she's asking for money,
925
00:45:56,254 --> 00:45:58,803
and she's hilarious
when she needs a place to stay.
926
00:46:04,136 --> 00:46:07,265
Dylan, I think I wanna
start dating again.
927
00:46:08,140 --> 00:46:11,144
Listen, I think we should stop this.
928
00:46:14,105 --> 00:46:15,448
Yeah?
929
00:46:16,148 --> 00:46:17,195
I kind of think you're right.
930
00:46:17,316 --> 00:46:18,317
Right?
931
00:46:18,526 --> 00:46:24,033
Every new beginning comes
from some other beginning's end.
932
00:46:24,448 --> 00:46:25,916
That actually makes sense right here.
933
00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:27,960
Who would've thought Third Eye
Blind could be so prophetic?
934
00:46:28,035 --> 00:46:29,161
Not Third Eye Blind.
935
00:46:29,287 --> 00:46:31,005
I'm pretty sure that's
Third Eye Blind.
936
00:46:31,163 --> 00:46:32,289
Do you wanna go
grab some lunch?
937
00:46:32,373 --> 00:46:33,499
- Yes.
- Okay.
938
00:46:33,708 --> 00:46:35,301
- You're buying.
- What?
939
00:46:37,545 --> 00:46:38,637
Okay.
940
00:46:41,007 --> 00:46:42,008
- Pants.
- Shirt.
941
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:43,847
So this is the end of this?
942
00:46:44,010 --> 00:46:45,887
- I guess so. But it's good.
- Yeah.
943
00:46:46,012 --> 00:46:47,389
- And we did it.
- With no bullshit.
944
00:46:47,513 --> 00:46:48,560
- Shirt.
- Sweater.
945
00:46:49,473 --> 00:46:51,316
We managed to actually stay friends.
946
00:46:51,684 --> 00:46:52,810
- Yup.
- Yeah.
947
00:46:57,231 --> 00:46:59,029
Okay. So, what is
your type, anyway?
948
00:46:59,191 --> 00:47:01,193
No, I don't have a type.
949
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,579
- It's more about what's inside.
- Oh, please!
950
00:47:03,696 --> 00:47:05,414
Okay, what about her?
951
00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:08,038
Yeah. I could get to know her inside.
952
00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:09,206
And she's reading a book.
953
00:47:10,036 --> 00:47:11,333
It's probably Nicholas Sparks.
954
00:47:11,871 --> 00:47:13,669
- I'm gonna go talk to her.
- What?
955
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:15,917
What do you mean, "What?"
We said we wanted to date again.
956
00:47:16,042 --> 00:47:17,715
- I'm gonna go talk to her.
- Now?
957
00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:19,337
Here, in front of all of these people?
958
00:47:19,503 --> 00:47:22,723
I didn't say I was gonna rape her.
I said I was gonna go talk to her.
959
00:47:26,594 --> 00:47:29,393
Excuse me. I'm Dylan.
Nice to meet you.
960
00:47:29,889 --> 00:47:31,015
The Notebook.
961
00:47:37,438 --> 00:47:38,564
Nice meeting you.
962
00:47:42,276 --> 00:47:44,825
- Well?
- We talked. We laughed.
963
00:47:44,904 --> 00:47:46,030
Yeah.
964
00:47:46,238 --> 00:47:48,411
- She's Belgian.
- Explains the reading.
965
00:47:48,741 --> 00:47:50,163
I showed her where the balcony was,
966
00:47:50,242 --> 00:47:52,916
because that's where she is
meeting up with her husband.
967
00:47:54,914 --> 00:47:56,086
Anniversary trip to New York.
968
00:47:56,374 --> 00:47:59,378
Three kids. Christof,
Karlina and Pepijn.
969
00:48:00,503 --> 00:48:01,550
Shut up.
970
00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:05,432
Why are you still laughing?
At least I gave it a shot.
971
00:48:05,674 --> 00:48:08,268
Fine. I'll go next.
972
00:48:08,594 --> 00:48:10,938
- See if I still have game.
- Okay.
973
00:48:11,097 --> 00:48:12,440
- Okay.
- Okay.
974
00:48:12,556 --> 00:48:14,024
- Yes.
- Right here. Eleven o'clock.
975
00:48:14,266 --> 00:48:16,860
- Iced coffee.
- Handsome, but doesn't know it.
976
00:48:17,395 --> 00:48:20,444
Staring at a tree, which means
he's actually in the park for nature
977
00:48:20,523 --> 00:48:22,116
and not to watch women sunbathe.
978
00:48:22,274 --> 00:48:23,867
- Or he's retarded.
- Don't care.
979
00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:25,069
I'm going in.
980
00:48:31,909 --> 00:48:33,377
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
981
00:48:33,869 --> 00:48:34,961
- Hi.
- Hello.
982
00:48:35,454 --> 00:48:36,751
I'm Jamie.
983
00:48:38,374 --> 00:48:39,626
Yeah. Yeah, that works.
984
00:48:41,377 --> 00:48:42,629
Hi.
985
00:48:45,089 --> 00:48:46,136
Okay.
986
00:48:46,298 --> 00:48:47,390
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, my God!
987
00:48:52,138 --> 00:48:56,894
Okay. His name is Parker.
He's a children's oncologist.
988
00:48:58,144 --> 00:48:59,817
And I have a date this Saturday.
989
00:49:01,147 --> 00:49:02,319
- Nice.
- Thank you.
990
00:49:03,149 --> 00:49:04,947
Why'd you wave to me?
991
00:49:05,484 --> 00:49:08,408
I told him you were
my gay best friend,
992
00:49:08,487 --> 00:49:10,239
so he wants to set you
up with his brother.
993
00:49:12,992 --> 00:49:16,792
College, med school,
and I haven't slept since.
994
00:49:17,204 --> 00:49:19,206
I can't believe you
actually cure cancer.
995
00:49:19,665 --> 00:49:21,542
Well, me and God.
996
00:49:22,376 --> 00:49:23,844
- What?
- I'm kidding.
997
00:49:24,170 --> 00:49:26,673
Can you imagine someone
who would actually say that?
998
00:49:26,797 --> 00:49:28,845
Yeah, I could.
I've been out with a lot of them.
999
00:49:29,049 --> 00:49:30,676
- Cancer doctors?
- No, assholes.
1000
00:49:31,343 --> 00:49:32,390
Yeah.
1001
00:49:32,511 --> 00:49:33,683
Well, hopefully you're
all done with that.
1002
00:49:34,847 --> 00:49:38,351
Although, I gotta warn you,
lot of cancer doctors, big assholes.
1003
00:49:38,476 --> 00:49:39,477
- Really?
- Yeah.
1004
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:42,484
And brain surgeons,
huge perverts.
1005
00:49:42,730 --> 00:49:45,404
While they're doing this,
a little bit of that.
1006
00:49:47,026 --> 00:49:48,027
Hey.
1007
00:49:49,403 --> 00:49:50,700
Thank you.
1008
00:49:51,489 --> 00:49:52,581
When can I see you again?
1009
00:49:56,702 --> 00:49:57,703
Right now.
1010
00:49:59,205 --> 00:50:00,582
- I'm just kidding.
- Okay.
1011
00:50:00,706 --> 00:50:02,379
Can you imagine someone
who would actually say that?
1012
00:50:03,209 --> 00:50:04,711
I played the tuba in high school.
1013
00:50:04,919 --> 00:50:07,047
World's stupidest instrument.
1014
00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:09,097
Especially when you
move eight times.
1015
00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:12,886
- Why'd you move?
- My mom really likes to break up with guys,
1016
00:50:13,052 --> 00:50:14,429
and she was really good at it.
1017
00:50:14,595 --> 00:50:16,848
- Was your dad one of them?
- No, no, he was long before that.
1018
00:50:17,264 --> 00:50:18,561
I actually never knew my dad.
1019
00:50:18,891 --> 00:50:20,268
I'm sorry. That sucks.
1020
00:50:23,229 --> 00:50:25,573
All right, look, I think I should
probably tell you something.
1021
00:50:25,731 --> 00:50:27,199
Please don't tell me you're a dude.
1022
00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:29,527
Because that'll be like the third
time since I moved here,
1023
00:50:29,610 --> 00:50:31,237
and I don't think I can handle that.
1024
00:50:31,529 --> 00:50:32,576
I have a five-date rule.
1025
00:50:33,405 --> 00:50:36,079
- You know, like, five dates before we...
- Yeah.
1026
00:50:36,283 --> 00:50:38,957
I saw it in a movie.
I thought I'd give it a try.
1027
00:50:40,246 --> 00:50:41,293
You're worth waiting for.
1028
00:50:42,414 --> 00:50:44,257
I'm sure that was the line
in the movie you saw.
1029
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,086
That's awesome.
1030
00:50:47,253 --> 00:50:50,052
This four-year-old that I've been
working on for the last couple months,
1031
00:50:50,256 --> 00:50:51,303
he's gonna be fine.
1032
00:50:51,590 --> 00:50:52,762
- That's great.
- Yeah.
1033
00:50:53,592 --> 00:50:55,219
How is a guy like you single?
1034
00:50:55,302 --> 00:50:58,306
I've just been waiting for someone
to come up to me in the park
1035
00:50:58,597 --> 00:51:00,941
and compliment me for looking
at the trees and not the sunbathers.
1036
00:51:01,058 --> 00:51:02,435
I meant it. It was impressive.
1037
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:04,562
Actually, if I'm gonna be
completely honest with you,
1038
00:51:04,645 --> 00:51:06,363
I was sleeping standing up.
1039
00:51:06,438 --> 00:51:09,567
I worked 36 hours straight.
I don't even know how I got to the park.
1040
00:51:10,484 --> 00:51:11,827
How is a girl like you single?
1041
00:51:13,779 --> 00:51:14,905
I have issues.
1042
00:51:15,114 --> 00:51:16,661
One might even call me damaged.
1043
00:51:16,991 --> 00:51:18,493
Actually, one did call me damaged.
1044
00:51:18,617 --> 00:51:19,743
Get out of here. Damaged how?
1045
00:51:20,452 --> 00:51:21,669
I kind of believe in true love.
1046
00:51:22,329 --> 00:51:24,923
That there might be
a Prince Charming out there for me.
1047
00:51:30,254 --> 00:51:35,226
Listen, I know this is probably a no
because all you do is work like a dull boy,
1048
00:51:35,301 --> 00:51:37,645
but would you like to come get a beer?
1049
00:51:37,761 --> 00:51:38,762
I'm good.
1050
00:51:38,846 --> 00:51:40,598
No, it's not a gay bar.
1051
00:51:40,681 --> 00:51:44,652
And there'll be just as many
hot girls as hot guys.
1052
00:51:46,437 --> 00:51:49,031
You know what? I will come out.
1053
00:51:49,189 --> 00:51:51,942
All right. Let's find you a lady.
1054
00:51:52,985 --> 00:51:54,111
You're still not gay, right?
1055
00:51:54,194 --> 00:51:55,491
- Nope.
- Okay.
1056
00:52:01,327 --> 00:52:03,000
- What?
- Do you know what today is?
1057
00:52:04,038 --> 00:52:06,336
- Date number five.
- I wasn't even counting.
1058
00:52:11,670 --> 00:52:14,640
- Wanna go in the bedroom?
- No. Here's fine.
1059
00:52:20,846 --> 00:52:23,190
I am so glad I met you tonight.
1060
00:52:23,807 --> 00:52:25,229
Me, too.
1061
00:52:29,063 --> 00:52:31,031
What are you thinking?
1062
00:52:31,857 --> 00:52:34,155
Just how great you are.
1063
00:52:45,746 --> 00:52:47,168
Annie, hey.
1064
00:52:47,247 --> 00:52:49,591
Who the fuck is Annie?
1065
00:52:49,708 --> 00:52:50,925
My sister.
1066
00:52:51,043 --> 00:52:53,045
Better be. I'll cut her.
1067
00:52:55,547 --> 00:52:56,719
Of course I'm coming.
1068
00:52:57,049 --> 00:53:01,225
Yeah, I'm taking the 4th off,
so I'll be there for three days.
1069
00:53:11,897 --> 00:53:13,524
Yeah. How's Dad?
1070
00:53:14,024 --> 00:53:15,401
Any worse?
1071
00:53:16,193 --> 00:53:17,866
All right, tell him I said hi.
1072
00:53:18,737 --> 00:53:20,239
Bye, Banannie.
1073
00:53:23,909 --> 00:53:26,253
I want you to meet my parents.
1074
00:53:26,870 --> 00:53:28,793
No, you... Really?
1075
00:53:36,296 --> 00:53:37,593
God!
1076
00:53:55,899 --> 00:53:57,993
Hey. Hold on, hold on.
1077
00:53:58,610 --> 00:54:01,238
No, just hold on.
Just give me a second.
1078
00:54:01,321 --> 00:54:04,120
I gotta go find a place to talk. Okay.
1079
00:54:06,410 --> 00:54:08,458
Shit. Shit. Just hold Oh.
1080
00:54:08,579 --> 00:54:09,751
- Oh, sorry.
- Hold on.
1081
00:54:09,830 --> 00:54:11,423
I was out pretty late last night.
1082
00:54:11,749 --> 00:54:14,673
When I got in, you and your
girlfriend were on the couch
1083
00:54:14,793 --> 00:54:16,340
so I just crashed in your bed.
1084
00:54:16,462 --> 00:54:18,135
- He's not a girl.
- He smells like a girl.
1085
00:54:18,297 --> 00:54:20,516
- You smelled him?
- I wanna buy marshmallows.
1086
00:54:20,632 --> 00:54:23,226
- What did you say?
- For Montauk this weekend.
1087
00:54:23,302 --> 00:54:26,101
I wanna do a campfire,
like when you were little.
1088
00:54:26,180 --> 00:54:27,272
Okay.
1089
00:54:27,347 --> 00:54:30,317
- And then we're gonna look for sticks.
- I hear you. Sticks.
1090
00:54:30,434 --> 00:54:33,313
And then we're gonna sing.
We're gonna...
1091
00:54:33,479 --> 00:54:35,447
Just hold on a second.
1092
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:37,612
Okay.
1093
00:54:39,693 --> 00:54:40,865
Okay.
1094
00:54:45,866 --> 00:54:47,083
What's up?
1095
00:54:47,159 --> 00:54:49,127
Do you think guys care more
about global warming
1096
00:54:49,203 --> 00:54:51,626
or how to wear white
pants to a cookout?
1097
00:54:51,705 --> 00:54:52,831
Well, that depends.
1098
00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:55,630
Do you have a hot model in a
bikini standing on an icecap?
1099
00:54:55,709 --> 00:54:57,427
No. Ski slope.
1100
00:54:57,503 --> 00:54:59,471
I'd still go with pants to a cookout.
1101
00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:01,177
Yeah, me, too.
1102
00:55:01,715 --> 00:55:04,514
How's your boy Parker?
Still staring at trees?
1103
00:55:04,635 --> 00:55:06,888
Two coffees.
Yeah, he's still looking up at trees,
1104
00:55:07,012 --> 00:55:09,231
but this time it's
actually in my apartment.
1105
00:55:09,348 --> 00:55:11,726
- It's the fifth date already?
- Maybe. Thank you.
1106
00:55:11,850 --> 00:55:14,569
Did you guys "fifth-date"?
1107
00:55:14,686 --> 00:55:18,361
- How dare you! A lady never tells.
- I know. That's why I'm asking you.
1108
00:55:21,902 --> 00:55:24,746
Hey. I gotta go. You have a great
trip in LA and call me when you land.
1109
00:55:25,072 --> 00:55:26,198
Okay.
1110
00:55:26,323 --> 00:55:27,745
Parker.
1111
00:55:28,408 --> 00:55:29,705
Hey.
1112
00:55:30,994 --> 00:55:33,838
I got us coffees.
Nonfat, one sugar, one Splenda.
1113
00:55:34,414 --> 00:55:36,041
- I gotta get going.
- What?
1114
00:55:36,166 --> 00:55:37,418
I thought you weren't on call today.
1115
00:55:37,543 --> 00:55:40,843
I'm not, but I got that thing...
I got stuff.
1116
00:55:40,921 --> 00:55:42,548
This... They just called me.
1117
00:55:44,550 --> 00:55:46,518
- Really?
- Yeah.
1118
00:55:46,677 --> 00:55:49,897
The sneak-out.
How incredibly cliché of you.
1119
00:55:50,013 --> 00:55:51,390
I just...
1120
00:55:52,266 --> 00:55:54,268
I don't think I can be
your Prince Charming.
1121
00:55:54,393 --> 00:55:57,237
God, you totally didn't get
anything that I was saying, did you?
1122
00:55:57,354 --> 00:56:00,699
- No, no, no. I think you're great.
- Yeah, you, too.
1123
00:56:01,024 --> 00:56:02,697
Hey, you know what?
You and I should stay friends.
1124
00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:04,778
- Really?
- No, go fuck yourself.
1125
00:56:15,747 --> 00:56:17,090
Who sleeps standing up?
1126
00:56:17,583 --> 00:56:18,755
You know, you'd be
really proud of me.
1127
00:56:18,876 --> 00:56:20,844
I didn't even blink when I
told him to go fuck himself.
1128
00:56:20,919 --> 00:56:24,594
- You did just then, though.
- This does not count. I'm not in the moment.
1129
00:56:25,215 --> 00:56:26,888
I don't know, maybe I suck in bed.
1130
00:56:26,967 --> 00:56:28,310
Trust me, you don't suck in bed.
1131
00:56:29,094 --> 00:56:30,937
- Thank you.
- So needy.
1132
00:56:31,054 --> 00:56:32,681
Hey, maybe the guy's
married or something.
1133
00:56:32,764 --> 00:56:34,607
No, did a background check at work.
1134
00:56:34,725 --> 00:56:37,820
Single, no criminal history,
credit report 720.
1135
00:56:37,936 --> 00:56:39,529
Background check.
Did you do one on me?
1136
00:56:39,605 --> 00:56:41,824
How could you possibly
max out an Old Navy card?
1137
00:56:41,940 --> 00:56:44,113
After college I was
really into cargo pants.
1138
00:56:45,819 --> 00:56:47,662
Dylan, I gotta stop
thinking it's not me.
1139
00:56:47,779 --> 00:56:50,032
- I mean, it's gotta be me.
- It's not you.
1140
00:56:50,115 --> 00:56:51,367
Nothing is wrong with you.
1141
00:56:51,450 --> 00:56:53,452
He's a guy.
You gave him a five-date challenge,
1142
00:56:53,577 --> 00:56:55,955
he got you and cutout.
Forget the douche.
1143
00:56:56,079 --> 00:56:58,502
He's a dick. He's a dick-douche.
1144
00:56:59,666 --> 00:57:01,168
Go have fun with your mom.
1145
00:57:01,668 --> 00:57:04,842
- Okay.
- Almost forgot. I got you something.
1146
00:57:12,471 --> 00:57:15,145
It's Lieutenant Kali,
the street artist we talked about.
1147
00:57:15,307 --> 00:57:17,810
I got him to do something for you.
"F-tale." Fairytale.
1148
00:57:18,477 --> 00:57:21,651
- I know you're into that girly shit, so...
- This is so cool.
1149
00:57:22,773 --> 00:57:24,741
Dylan, that's actually really sweet.
1150
00:57:24,816 --> 00:57:26,818
- It's cool, right?
- Yeah. Thank you.
1151
00:57:28,654 --> 00:57:30,327
Hey, I'm gonna need
to borrow cab fare.
1152
00:57:31,490 --> 00:57:33,663
I'm not taking that thing on the
subway. I don't wanna get rolled.
1153
00:57:33,784 --> 00:57:34,876
No problem.
1154
00:57:34,993 --> 00:57:36,995
As long as you get your feet off
my bed. They're disgusting.
1155
00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:40,381
What are you doing?
1156
00:57:40,499 --> 00:57:41,796
Why are you doing that?
Why are you doing that?
1157
00:57:42,334 --> 00:57:44,211
You're an animal. Stop doing that.
An animal. Stop.
1158
00:57:48,340 --> 00:57:49,808
Hey, Ma.
1159
00:57:51,134 --> 00:57:53,557
Ma. Come on, we gotta
get on the road.
1160
00:57:54,012 --> 00:57:55,355
Come on.
1161
00:57:55,472 --> 00:57:56,894
Ma?
1162
00:58:15,534 --> 00:58:17,411
Why did I think that
this time would be any different?
1163
00:58:17,536 --> 00:58:19,163
- Come with me to LA.
- What?
1164
00:58:19,246 --> 00:58:21,965
What else are you gonna do?
It's 4th of July, everybody's left the city.
1165
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:23,792
You're very sweet for
asking, but it's fine.
1166
00:58:23,875 --> 00:58:25,548
You know what, I'll just stay here.
I'll be fine alone.
1167
00:58:25,669 --> 00:58:27,888
I know you'll be fine alone.
You're not a baby in a hot car.
1168
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:30,723
I'm actually asking you to come
because it would help me.
1169
00:58:31,049 --> 00:58:32,767
You'd be a great
distraction for my family.
1170
00:58:32,884 --> 00:58:35,057
They'd forget all about
drilling me for being single.
1171
00:58:35,220 --> 00:58:36,392
Won't they think
that we're together?
1172
00:58:36,513 --> 00:58:38,561
- Not if I tell them we're not.
- And they'll believe you?
1173
00:58:38,682 --> 00:58:41,060
Yeah, we're one of these crazy families
that doesn't lie to each other.
1174
00:58:41,184 --> 00:58:42,527
PBS is doing a documentary on us.
1175
00:58:42,728 --> 00:58:43,775
Come on, they'll love you.
1176
00:58:43,895 --> 00:58:46,364
All fast-talking and brusque,
like I'm bringing home a carny.
1177
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,535
You're really nice to ask,
but I'm just gonna stay here.
1178
00:58:49,609 --> 00:58:50,861
Go to the gym.
1179
00:58:51,111 --> 00:58:54,035
I just got you a ticket with my
miles, it's done. Meet me at JFK.
1180
00:58:54,114 --> 00:58:55,536
- But...
- No buts.
1181
00:58:55,615 --> 00:58:58,459
- Like you were gonna go to the gym.
- I wasn't.
1182
00:59:11,923 --> 00:59:13,550
LA's so nice.
1183
00:59:14,134 --> 00:59:15,977
And everyone's so
genuine and level-headed.
1184
00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:20,600
Thanks for this. You're good peeps.
1185
00:59:20,766 --> 00:59:22,393
You're the good peeps, dude.
1186
00:59:22,476 --> 00:59:25,104
You haven't met my family.
You don't know what you're in for.
1187
00:59:26,897 --> 00:59:28,069
Okay.
1188
00:59:28,315 --> 00:59:30,158
You know these planes
pretty much land themselves?
1189
00:59:30,275 --> 00:59:33,154
Nobody cares. You sound
like an asshole.
1190
00:59:34,613 --> 00:59:35,990
She's from New York.
1191
00:59:36,114 --> 00:59:37,457
I'm sorry.
1192
00:59:48,126 --> 00:59:50,424
Wow. This looks normal.
1193
00:59:50,504 --> 00:59:51,756
It is.
1194
00:59:52,631 --> 00:59:53,757
Thank you.
1195
00:59:57,969 --> 00:59:59,846
Wow, you grew up here?
1196
01:00:00,472 --> 01:00:02,474
It was my grandfather's.
1197
01:00:02,641 --> 01:00:04,268
He bought it when there
was nothing else here.
1198
01:00:04,434 --> 01:00:06,653
My dad and my sister
and her son live here now.
1199
01:00:08,105 --> 01:00:09,982
Why would you move to New York?
1200
01:00:10,148 --> 01:00:11,650
I was conned by some headhunter.
1201
01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:14,320
- You're here.
- Sammy!
1202
01:00:14,486 --> 01:00:15,487
Hey, Uncle Dylan.
1203
01:00:15,654 --> 01:00:16,871
What's up, buddy?
1204
01:00:17,823 --> 01:00:18,915
How are you?
1205
01:00:18,990 --> 01:00:21,709
Jamie, this is my nephew,
Sam the Magnificent.
1206
01:00:21,952 --> 01:00:24,580
- Hello.
- May I offer you a light for your cigarette?
1207
01:00:24,663 --> 01:00:26,336
I'm sorry, I don't smoke.
1208
01:00:26,456 --> 01:00:28,254
Just pretend. He's a magician.
1209
01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:31,212
Of course I'll have a cigarette.
Smoking is great for you.
1210
01:00:34,506 --> 01:00:38,886
- Wow. Thank you, good sir.
- My pleasure, my lady.
1211
01:00:39,803 --> 01:00:41,146
Oh, my God. I got it, I got it.
1212
01:00:41,221 --> 01:00:43,394
Sammy. I got it, I got it.
Just stay still. I got it, I got it.
1213
01:00:43,515 --> 01:00:45,142
Sammy! Are you okay?
1214
01:00:45,225 --> 01:00:46,477
All part of the illusion.
1215
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:48,187
- Jet Skis later?
- Definitely.
1216
01:00:49,229 --> 01:00:50,446
Still into magic, huh?
1217
01:00:50,522 --> 01:00:53,696
Yep. But I'll take that over him
sexting his friends any day.
1218
01:00:54,526 --> 01:00:56,745
- Dilbert!
- Banannie.
1219
01:00:58,071 --> 01:01:00,574
Jamie, this is my sister, Annie.
1220
01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:02,121
- Hi.
- Thank you for having me.
1221
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,168
Oh, please.
It's nice to have
Dylan bring a girl home.
1222
01:01:04,244 --> 01:01:05,837
- We're just friends.
- Oh, no, I know.
1223
01:01:05,912 --> 01:01:08,085
If you were his girlfriend, he
never would've brought you here.
1224
01:01:08,206 --> 01:01:10,880
- This one has intimacy issues.
- I know.
1225
01:01:11,042 --> 01:01:12,089
- Dylan.
- Dad.
1226
01:01:12,210 --> 01:01:13,837
- Dylan. Oh, man.
- Hey.
1227
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:16,298
- How you doing, buddy?
- I'm good.
1228
01:01:16,381 --> 01:01:18,349
I miss you guys, but I'm good.
1229
01:01:19,593 --> 01:01:20,765
Dede Spencer?
1230
01:01:21,219 --> 01:01:23,096
Jamie. Dylan's friend.
1231
01:01:25,265 --> 01:01:27,017
- I'm sorry. I...
- That's okay.
1232
01:01:27,100 --> 01:01:29,068
No, for a minute you reminded
me of a girl I used to know.
1233
01:01:29,227 --> 01:01:31,571
- No, that's okay. It happens.
- Nice to meet you.
1234
01:01:31,688 --> 01:01:33,782
Pleasure meeting you.
You have a beautiful house.
1235
01:01:33,899 --> 01:01:34,900
Thank you.
1236
01:01:35,192 --> 01:01:38,366
Pool's a little cold, but it's
very expensive to heat, so...
1237
01:01:39,404 --> 01:01:41,406
I think I'm gonna goin
and check the tide tables
1238
01:01:41,531 --> 01:01:43,124
'cause I'm gonna take the
boat out early in the morning.
1239
01:01:43,241 --> 01:01:44,743
- You should come.
- I would love to.
1240
01:01:44,868 --> 01:01:46,461
We sold the boat.
1241
01:01:46,578 --> 01:01:48,580
The doctor doesn't want you
driving the boat any more.
1242
01:01:50,874 --> 01:01:52,751
- Turning to mush.
- No.
1243
01:01:54,377 --> 01:01:56,596
It's good to see you, buddy.
1244
01:01:56,755 --> 01:01:58,382
- Nice to meet you.
- It was nice meeting you, too.
1245
01:01:58,465 --> 01:02:00,217
- Jamie. See?
- Yes.
1246
01:02:05,222 --> 01:02:08,066
- What's with the pants?
- He doesn't like them any more.
1247
01:02:08,266 --> 01:02:10,109
He's getting worse.
1248
01:02:10,477 --> 01:02:12,229
It's so good to have you here.
1249
01:02:13,438 --> 01:02:14,485
Go show her the beach.
1250
01:02:15,941 --> 01:02:17,989
- Let me show you the beach. Come on.
- Okay.
1251
01:02:18,109 --> 01:02:20,953
- Go, get sandy. Get all messed up.
- Okay.
1252
01:02:36,503 --> 01:02:38,551
Dylan never told me about your dad.
1253
01:02:38,630 --> 01:02:41,349
Yeah, it's been tough on him.
They were real close.
1254
01:02:42,008 --> 01:02:43,885
Dylan doesn't quite know
how to deal with the Alzheimer's.
1255
01:02:43,969 --> 01:02:45,186
I'm sorry.
1256
01:02:45,303 --> 01:02:47,897
He'll be his regular old self
and everything seems fine,
1257
01:02:47,973 --> 01:02:50,647
and then just in a flash, he's gone.
1258
01:02:52,602 --> 01:02:55,105
- That's Dylan when he was nine.
- Are those braids?
1259
01:02:55,355 --> 01:02:57,983
He was going through a Kris
Kross phase. Remember them?
1260
01:03:03,446 --> 01:03:06,199
- Is that your mom?
- No, that's Dylan's speech therapist.
1261
01:03:07,325 --> 01:03:10,295
He had a stutter.
It got real bad when he was nervous.
1262
01:03:10,537 --> 01:03:12,005
He had a rough childhood.
1263
01:03:12,163 --> 01:03:15,167
- His math tutor called it "character-building."
- Math tutor?
1264
01:03:15,292 --> 01:03:19,138
No, we're talking, like,
8 times 6 equals 1,200.
1265
01:03:19,212 --> 01:03:21,306
But he's very visual, thank God.
1266
01:03:21,548 --> 01:03:26,054
- Can you please explain to me this photo?
- That is my 12th-birthday surprise party.
1267
01:03:26,177 --> 01:03:28,225
- Hey.
- Amazing moment.
1268
01:03:28,346 --> 01:03:30,064
I'm exhausted. I'm gonna go to bed.
1269
01:03:30,181 --> 01:03:33,230
- Jamie, you all good with your room?
- Yeah. No, it's perfect.
1270
01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:35,395
Thank you. Thank you for everything.
1271
01:03:40,191 --> 01:03:43,411
Sammy and I built a saw-a-girl-in-half box,
so just be careful on your way to bed.
1272
01:03:43,528 --> 01:03:46,657
- He's not using a real saw, is he?
- Of course he is. He's magnificent.
1273
01:03:47,157 --> 01:03:50,536
I'll make sure he brushes his teeth,
and you, don't believe anything she says.
1274
01:03:50,660 --> 01:03:52,162
She's a liar.
1275
01:03:53,204 --> 01:03:55,673
- He's a pretty special guy.
- Yeah, I think so.
1276
01:03:58,418 --> 01:04:00,386
- Jamie. Hey.
- Hey.
1277
01:04:00,712 --> 01:04:01,884
- You up?
- Yeah. Come in.
1278
01:04:04,841 --> 01:04:06,639
- I thought you were going to bed.
- I was.
1279
01:04:06,718 --> 01:04:09,392
But then I realized we were
both single again, so...
1280
01:04:13,099 --> 01:04:14,726
- Dude, no.
- Why not?
1281
01:04:14,851 --> 01:04:16,728
I washed my hands.
With soap this time.
1282
01:04:16,895 --> 01:04:18,772
Are you serious?
Why would you just assume?
1283
01:04:18,938 --> 01:04:22,613
You cracked your neck on the porch.
This thing. That's your tell, remember?
1284
01:04:22,776 --> 01:04:26,076
I cracked my neck
because we were on a flight for six hours,
1285
01:04:26,738 --> 01:04:29,617
and you were yapping my ear off
about how planes all fly themselves,
1286
01:04:29,741 --> 01:04:31,243
and it actually kinked my neck a bit.
1287
01:04:31,368 --> 01:04:34,087
- So, no?
- No. Not having sex with you.
1288
01:04:34,204 --> 01:04:36,457
Is it your special time?
They have an app for that. No, wait.
1289
01:04:39,417 --> 01:04:41,385
- Nope, you're good to go.
- We talked about this.
1290
01:04:41,461 --> 01:04:44,135
- Plus, I just got dumped, so...
- Okay, I'm sorry.
1291
01:04:44,255 --> 01:04:46,553
I thought this would be a good way
to take your mind off him.
1292
01:04:46,633 --> 01:04:48,761
No, I don't function that way.
Sex is not gonna help.
1293
01:04:49,219 --> 01:04:51,347
But you know what will?
Emotional support.
1294
01:04:51,429 --> 01:04:54,308
Before we were sex without emotion,
and now we're emotion without sex.
1295
01:04:54,432 --> 01:04:55,854
Exactly.
1296
01:04:55,934 --> 01:04:57,777
I just need you to be
my friend right now.
1297
01:04:57,894 --> 01:04:59,942
Okay. So I'll listen to you
while you give me a hand job.
1298
01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:02,574
- No.
- I'm kidding. I got it. Good night.
1299
01:05:02,816 --> 01:05:06,821
Wait, hold on! Friends can still hang
out and, I don't know, listen to music.
1300
01:05:07,070 --> 01:05:08,117
Listen to music?
1301
01:05:10,156 --> 01:05:11,282
I'm gonna kill Annie.
1302
01:05:12,117 --> 01:05:15,121
- I can't believe you used to like them.
- I didn't like these guys.
1303
01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:16,292
I don't even remember...
1304
01:05:28,967 --> 01:05:31,311
And then there's something,
I don't know what he says right there...
1305
01:05:33,805 --> 01:05:36,354
Are you kidding me?
These dudes were da bomb.
1306
01:05:36,474 --> 01:05:38,351
Everybody had Girbauds,
we all wore them backwards.
1307
01:05:38,476 --> 01:05:39,477
The baseball jerseys.
1308
01:05:41,312 --> 01:05:43,314
I went as Kris Kross three
years in a row for Halloween.
1309
01:05:43,440 --> 01:05:45,613
- Oh, you poor kid.
- I'm not proud of it.
1310
01:05:45,859 --> 01:05:49,489
Hey, I borrowed one of your books.
I hope that's okay.
1311
01:05:53,032 --> 01:05:54,329
Like this.
1312
01:05:56,786 --> 01:05:57,833
No.
1313
01:06:06,546 --> 01:06:07,672
Surprise!
1314
01:06:11,384 --> 01:06:14,684
Have you really never brought
a girl home before?
1315
01:06:14,888 --> 01:06:16,686
I brought you here.
1316
01:06:16,806 --> 01:06:19,980
I mean like a real girl.
Not a friend.
1317
01:06:20,852 --> 01:06:22,854
- A real girl?
- Yeah.
1318
01:06:24,147 --> 01:06:25,569
I guess not.
1319
01:06:25,690 --> 01:06:28,364
- Separation of church and state.
- Ah, yes.
1320
01:06:28,526 --> 01:06:32,030
Build up as many walls as possible.
That's really healthy.
1321
01:06:32,155 --> 01:06:34,249
- What, are you talking to me about walls?
- Yeah.
1322
01:06:34,365 --> 01:06:36,584
What about you and your mom?
1323
01:06:36,743 --> 01:06:39,713
You couldn't get me out of there fast
enough when she walked in on us.
1324
01:06:39,871 --> 01:06:41,999
That was for your own protection.
Okay?
1325
01:06:42,081 --> 01:06:45,927
I'm just surprised she didn't try
to slip you her number or something.
1326
01:06:46,044 --> 01:06:48,217
She did. She put it in my phone.
1327
01:06:48,338 --> 01:06:50,432
- Under "MILF."
- Oh, my God.
1328
01:06:50,548 --> 01:06:53,222
It's cool, we only
hooked up, like, twice.
1329
01:06:54,844 --> 01:06:57,142
I'm starting to get a mental image.
1330
01:06:57,222 --> 01:06:58,474
Well, I have a video image.
1331
01:06:58,556 --> 01:07:01,730
No. Just stop it. Just stop it.
1332
01:07:04,354 --> 01:07:06,402
Just wrong.
1333
01:07:09,734 --> 01:07:10,906
What?
1334
01:07:12,445 --> 01:07:14,743
Nothing. Just glad I met you.
1335
01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:20,249
Yeah, well, knowing you
doesn't suck either.
1336
01:07:38,096 --> 01:07:41,270
- But I thought you said...
- I know what I said.
1337
01:09:18,446 --> 01:09:19,538
God.
1338
01:09:44,430 --> 01:09:46,603
Lasorda was a good pitcher,
but he was an even better manager.
1339
01:09:46,724 --> 01:09:49,193
- Wrecking Crew?
- I wasn't saying he's not a great manager.
1340
01:09:49,268 --> 01:09:51,020
He's underappreciated as a pitcher,
that's all I'm saying.
1341
01:09:51,104 --> 01:09:52,447
We get it. Guys.
1342
01:09:52,563 --> 01:09:53,655
- Hi.
- Morning.
1343
01:09:53,731 --> 01:09:57,235
- Good morning.
- Is it always this beautiful out here?
1344
01:09:57,735 --> 01:10:00,614
Well, in between the fires and
the floods, we get about 10 good days.
1345
01:10:01,239 --> 01:10:03,492
No, no. Here. You two sit together.
1346
01:10:03,574 --> 01:10:04,951
- Are you sure?
- Oh, yeah, no, no.
1347
01:10:05,076 --> 01:10:07,750
- You don't have to do that, Dad.
- I know. I wanna look at the boat.
1348
01:10:07,829 --> 01:10:09,581
I love that boat.
1349
01:10:09,914 --> 01:10:11,757
- Here. Sorry.
- Great. Thanks.
1350
01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:13,297
Here.
1351
01:10:14,127 --> 01:10:16,801
Thank you. This... Okay.
1352
01:10:18,423 --> 01:10:20,517
- Coffee, my lady?
- Yes, please.
1353
01:10:21,509 --> 01:10:22,931
Thank you.
1354
01:10:24,637 --> 01:10:27,186
- All right, man!
- Look at you!
1355
01:10:27,432 --> 01:10:30,561
- That's pretty impressive.
- Yay, Sammy!
1356
01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:32,316
All right!
1357
01:10:32,645 --> 01:10:36,445
Oh, buddy. Your shirt's leaking.
Oh, no, that's...
1358
01:10:36,524 --> 01:10:37,650
Apologies.
1359
01:10:42,363 --> 01:10:43,535
Here.
1360
01:10:48,119 --> 01:10:49,792
- You okay?
- Yeah.
1361
01:10:50,705 --> 01:10:52,127
- You?
- Yeah.
1362
01:11:04,552 --> 01:11:06,805
- See them, Sammy?
- Yeah.
1363
01:11:08,639 --> 01:11:10,641
- Pretty cool, huh?
- Yeah.
1364
01:11:11,559 --> 01:11:13,402
God, it's nice.
1365
01:11:13,478 --> 01:11:17,733
I do miss the mornings out here.
Right before it burns off, it really is beautiful.
1366
01:11:17,982 --> 01:11:19,199
I like Jamie.
1367
01:11:21,819 --> 01:11:23,662
And she's pretty, too.
1368
01:11:23,821 --> 01:11:26,495
Hey, easy, dude.
Don't you go casting a spell on her.
1369
01:11:26,824 --> 01:11:30,499
I'm a magician, not a wizard.
You and your gay Harry Potter.
1370
01:11:30,995 --> 01:11:33,544
You can't deny that going to
Hogwarts wouldn't be life-changing.
1371
01:11:34,665 --> 01:11:37,168
- I miss you.
- I miss you, too, bud.
1372
01:11:38,169 --> 01:11:41,013
Mom misses you.
And so does Grandpa.
1373
01:11:43,007 --> 01:11:44,179
Does he say anything?
1374
01:11:44,509 --> 01:11:47,353
No. But sometimes he calls me Dylan.
1375
01:11:50,223 --> 01:11:51,850
He said that he didn't want the job.
1376
01:11:51,933 --> 01:11:54,686
That he was just coming to
New York to explore his options.
1377
01:11:54,936 --> 01:11:56,108
What a crock of gas.
1378
01:11:57,104 --> 01:11:59,198
You fly across the country
to explore your options?
1379
01:11:59,273 --> 01:12:00,695
Please. I don't think so.
1380
01:12:00,775 --> 01:12:04,405
Exactly! Please, I knew I had him
the second he got off that plane.
1381
01:12:04,570 --> 01:12:05,787
- Oh, did you, now?
- Yeah.
1382
01:12:05,863 --> 01:12:08,457
Was that the same second you leapt
onto the baggage carousel barefoot
1383
01:12:08,533 --> 01:12:09,876
and acted out a scene
from Will and Grace?
1384
01:12:10,535 --> 01:12:12,412
- She did?
- Oh, yeah, you should have seen her.
1385
01:12:12,537 --> 01:12:13,880
"Look at me, I'm goofy but cute."
1386
01:12:13,955 --> 01:12:15,502
You know what?
It was all part of my plan.
1387
01:12:15,581 --> 01:12:16,753
Quite a plan.
1388
01:12:16,874 --> 01:12:18,342
Did you major in Planning
at Headhunting College?
1389
01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:20,761
- So clever.
- It's not a real college, by the way, buddy.
1390
01:12:20,878 --> 01:12:23,927
You guys bicker like
you're an old married couple.
1391
01:12:24,215 --> 01:12:25,512
Here, pick a card, my lady.
1392
01:12:25,591 --> 01:12:26,763
Okay.
1393
01:12:26,884 --> 01:12:28,852
Oh, no, not that one.
The one on top.
1394
01:12:28,928 --> 01:12:31,101
- This is a good one.
- So...
1395
01:12:31,222 --> 01:12:32,394
- Yeah?
- Shuffle.
1396
01:12:32,557 --> 01:12:34,480
Did you get her
an engagement gift?
1397
01:12:34,892 --> 01:12:37,486
We're not engaged, Dad. We're
not together. We're just friends.
1398
01:12:37,562 --> 01:12:41,738
All right, you don't wanna label it.
I understand. But get her some jewelry.
1399
01:12:42,733 --> 01:12:44,110
The only thing your
mom loves is jewelry.
1400
01:12:44,235 --> 01:12:47,739
I don't care how upset she is,
I get her jewelry, she lights right up.
1401
01:12:48,114 --> 01:12:49,286
Where is she, anyway?
1402
01:12:50,616 --> 01:12:53,790
- She's not here, Dad.
- I know, that's why I asked. Where is she?
1403
01:12:56,122 --> 01:12:58,295
- She's not coming.
- Why not?
1404
01:12:58,833 --> 01:13:01,586
She doesn't live with you any
more, Pop. You're not married.
1405
01:13:02,336 --> 01:13:04,964
- What?
- She left about 10 years ago.
1406
01:13:05,089 --> 01:13:06,181
I don't understand.
1407
01:13:06,591 --> 01:13:08,468
She divorced you, Dad.
1408
01:13:11,596 --> 01:13:12,939
- I have to call her.
- Dad, you can't.
1409
01:13:13,014 --> 01:13:14,436
Stop telling me what to do.
1410
01:13:15,808 --> 01:13:17,276
Get your...
1411
01:13:20,938 --> 01:13:22,190
Grandpa!
1412
01:13:22,440 --> 01:13:23,737
Dylan, get...
1413
01:13:23,816 --> 01:13:25,193
- You okay, Dad?
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
1414
01:13:25,276 --> 01:13:27,699
- Here, let me help you up.
- No, don't. Don't!
1415
01:14:00,019 --> 01:14:01,487
Here we are.
1416
01:14:02,563 --> 01:14:04,861
This is beautiful.
1417
01:14:04,982 --> 01:14:07,735
Yeah, this is where I used to
come to think. My rooftop.
1418
01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:09,320
Okay, how high do you
think that fence is?
1419
01:14:09,487 --> 01:14:10,989
I'm a little over 6 foot.
1420
01:14:11,155 --> 01:14:14,409
Looks like it's about three of me.
So six times three...
1421
01:14:15,493 --> 01:14:17,166
Ninety-two feet.
1422
01:14:17,662 --> 01:14:21,041
- Ninety-two feet. That's really tall, right?
- Yeah.
1423
01:14:21,999 --> 01:14:25,503
But they don't want you to get
up there, so I guess that makes sense.
1424
01:14:25,586 --> 01:14:29,341
- Wait. Six times three...
- Oh, God, you poor kid.
1425
01:14:30,216 --> 01:14:32,059
- What's up?
- Come on.
1426
01:14:32,510 --> 01:14:34,057
What? What? Where are you going?
1427
01:14:34,679 --> 01:14:37,398
Jamie, no, no, no, no, no, wait.
They take this shit seriously, okay?
1428
01:14:37,515 --> 01:14:38,516
Look at all the cameras.
1429
01:14:38,599 --> 01:14:41,978
This is the only landmark this city has
other than the Scientology Center.
1430
01:14:42,061 --> 01:14:45,156
And if any of these cameras are hooked
up to the actual Scientology Center,
1431
01:14:45,231 --> 01:14:47,108
that was an inappropriate joke
and I apologize.
1432
01:14:47,191 --> 01:14:49,785
I believe in the freedom
of science fiction.
1433
01:14:51,278 --> 01:14:52,951
Pussy! Oh, sorry.
1434
01:14:53,030 --> 01:14:54,077
Pussy!
1435
01:14:54,448 --> 01:14:55,540
Come on!
1436
01:15:01,872 --> 01:15:04,671
- You really never been up here before?
- No.
1437
01:15:04,750 --> 01:15:07,219
I've also never transferred
heroin in my rectum,
1438
01:15:07,294 --> 01:15:09,092
'cause it's against the law.
1439
01:15:09,422 --> 01:15:13,222
You know, sometimes a simple
yes or no answer is adequate.
1440
01:15:13,384 --> 01:15:15,057
Hey, why didn't you
tell me about your mom?
1441
01:15:15,553 --> 01:15:17,555
She's not worth talking about.
1442
01:15:18,222 --> 01:15:19,223
That's rough.
1443
01:15:19,557 --> 01:15:20,934
So is leaving your
husband and kids.
1444
01:15:22,059 --> 01:15:24,107
Yeah, you never told
me about him either.
1445
01:15:24,228 --> 01:15:26,151
You know, there's a lot of stuff
you didn't tell me.
1446
01:15:26,272 --> 01:15:27,819
I don't want your pity.
1447
01:15:29,316 --> 01:15:33,071
I can handle anything except
that look in people's eyes.
1448
01:15:35,489 --> 01:15:38,413
- That one.
- Who cares what anybody thinks?
1449
01:15:38,951 --> 01:15:42,296
He's the smartest man I've ever known.
He's the only person I'd ever go to for advice.
1450
01:15:42,413 --> 01:15:43,665
He's my dad.
1451
01:15:43,789 --> 01:15:45,211
Dylan, he's still the same man.
1452
01:15:45,291 --> 01:15:46,634
When I see the way people
look at him now...
1453
01:15:46,751 --> 01:15:49,925
It doesn't matter how
people look at him.
1454
01:15:50,004 --> 01:15:51,256
All that matters is
how you look at him.
1455
01:15:51,338 --> 01:15:54,182
Yeah, but he's walking around
without his pants. Everyone's staring.
1456
01:15:54,300 --> 01:15:55,893
- So what?
- It's embarrassing.
1457
01:15:55,968 --> 01:15:57,641
He needs to know that
nothing has changed.
1458
01:15:57,762 --> 01:15:59,639
That he's still that same man to you.
1459
01:15:59,764 --> 01:16:01,766
Can we stop talking about this?
1460
01:16:03,309 --> 01:16:06,563
Yeah, that's really smart.
Let's just not talk about our feelings.
1461
01:16:06,645 --> 01:16:07,771
I'm trying not to.
1462
01:16:09,774 --> 01:16:12,869
Come on. Is something going on here?
You've been acting really weird.
1463
01:16:13,194 --> 01:16:14,946
- No, I haven't.
- Yeah, you have.
1464
01:16:15,529 --> 01:16:16,826
Is this about what
happened the other night?
1465
01:16:16,947 --> 01:16:19,041
What, sex? That doesn't mean
anything. You know that.
1466
01:16:22,286 --> 01:16:23,333
Right.
1467
01:16:23,454 --> 01:16:25,627
- And I haven't been acting weird.
- Okay.
1468
01:16:27,291 --> 01:16:29,669
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, shit!
1469
01:16:29,835 --> 01:16:31,758
- I told you!
- Well, I'm sorry!
1470
01:16:31,837 --> 01:16:32,884
Fuck!
1471
01:16:32,963 --> 01:16:36,058
This is the LAPD. You are trespassing.
Get down from the sign.
1472
01:16:36,133 --> 01:16:37,305
We gotta jump.
1473
01:16:39,220 --> 01:16:41,643
- Dylan, jump!
- I'm frozen.
1474
01:16:41,722 --> 01:16:42,814
Come on, get down!
1475
01:16:42,890 --> 01:16:44,016
Sin this is your last warning.
1476
01:16:44,141 --> 01:16:46,314
- Use the ladder!
- I have a fear of heights!
1477
01:16:46,560 --> 01:16:51,316
And also helicopters!
They don't make sense to me!
1478
01:16:51,398 --> 01:16:53,742
What do you mean
you have a fear of heights?
1479
01:16:54,193 --> 01:16:55,615
Why would you come up here?
1480
01:16:55,694 --> 01:16:58,243
You called me a pussy!
1481
01:17:00,241 --> 01:17:02,915
A bizarre situation this
afternoon in the Southland.
1482
01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:06,543
The LAPD rescued a local man
from the Hollywood sign,
1483
01:17:06,997 --> 01:17:08,715
the city's only real landmark.
1484
01:17:08,833 --> 01:17:11,006
They actually wrapped
you in a foil blanket!
1485
01:17:11,210 --> 01:17:12,757
Did you run a marathon
before this?
1486
01:17:12,837 --> 01:17:14,384
- Okay. Give me...
- No!
1487
01:17:14,505 --> 01:17:16,758
- No, no. I wanna save it. I gotta save it.
- No. That's enough!
1488
01:17:16,841 --> 01:17:19,094
- Give me the remote! Shut up!
- No, I wanna watch it over and over.
1489
01:17:19,176 --> 01:17:20,769
Foil wrapper...
1490
01:17:20,845 --> 01:17:22,062
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
1491
01:17:23,013 --> 01:17:24,765
It's okay, it'll be up on YouTube.
1492
01:17:26,058 --> 01:17:29,779
Hey, you're still good to take Dad that week I
have to go to DC for Sam's class trip, right?
1493
01:17:29,854 --> 01:17:33,028
- Yeah, he's gonna stay with me in New York.
- Oh, good.
1494
01:17:33,399 --> 01:17:36,118
So, when are we gonna
see Jamie again?
1495
01:17:36,193 --> 01:17:37,661
I don't know.
1496
01:17:37,736 --> 01:17:40,114
What's your problem? Did you
have a fight with your girlfriend?
1497
01:17:40,197 --> 01:17:42,245
She's not my girlfriend.
Why don't you believe me?
1498
01:17:42,366 --> 01:17:44,710
I would believe you if
you didn't lie to me.
1499
01:17:44,785 --> 01:17:46,833
I saw you creeping out of
her room the other night.
1500
01:17:46,912 --> 01:17:48,960
Like you had just had sex,
if you know what I mean.
1501
01:17:49,206 --> 01:17:50,958
Yes, I know what you
mean, you just said it.
1502
01:17:51,041 --> 01:17:53,260
And how do you know
what I look like after I have...
1503
01:17:53,377 --> 01:17:56,597
I'm not talking to you about
this, okay? We're not together.
1504
01:17:57,047 --> 01:17:59,266
- Dylan.
- Enough! I'm not talking about it.
1505
01:17:59,466 --> 01:18:00,718
Dylan.
1506
01:18:02,553 --> 01:18:03,975
Forgot my saw. I'll be right back.
1507
01:18:06,557 --> 01:18:09,106
I'll wait here. Don't worry about me.
1508
01:18:09,226 --> 01:18:12,400
Friends who have sex?
What are you, in college?
1509
01:18:12,479 --> 01:18:14,447
- It doesn't matter, it's over.
- Why?
1510
01:18:14,565 --> 01:18:16,238
Because we don't like
each other like that.
1511
01:18:16,317 --> 01:18:19,287
Okay, you know what? Can we
just talk about this? Sit down.
1512
01:18:19,570 --> 01:18:20,992
What more are you looking for?
1513
01:18:21,071 --> 01:18:23,073
- Who says I'm looking for anything?
- Dylan.
1514
01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:26,414
- I don't know, but it's not Jamie.
- Why, because you're great together?
1515
01:18:26,744 --> 01:18:28,337
Because you're actually
friends with each other?
1516
01:18:28,412 --> 01:18:30,881
Because this is the happiest
I have ever seen you?
1517
01:18:30,956 --> 01:18:33,835
I don't know what to tell you. She's
not for me. I don't like her like that.
1518
01:18:33,918 --> 01:18:37,422
- You liked her enough to have sex with her.
- It's just physical.
1519
01:18:37,504 --> 01:18:40,383
- Like playing tennis.
- I don't even know what that means, Dylan.
1520
01:18:40,466 --> 01:18:43,015
I haven't seen you this dumb
since you got that candy corn tattoo.
1521
01:18:43,135 --> 01:18:45,433
It's a lightning bolt!
With extra powers!
1522
01:18:45,512 --> 01:18:47,606
Dylan, you can't name
one thing that's wrong with her.
1523
01:18:47,765 --> 01:18:50,894
I can never go out with her.
She's too fucked up.
1524
01:18:50,976 --> 01:18:52,899
Okay, she doesn't want a boyfriend.
1525
01:18:52,978 --> 01:18:54,150
She's too damaged.
1526
01:18:54,271 --> 01:18:56,319
Magnum P.l. couldn't solve
the shit going on in her head.
1527
01:18:56,440 --> 01:18:58,659
Wow. You'll say anything right now
1528
01:18:58,776 --> 01:19:00,323
not to admit that
you're perfect for each other.
1529
01:19:00,444 --> 01:19:02,321
- Why am I still having this conversation?
- Because I'm right.
1530
01:19:02,446 --> 01:19:04,119
- Good talk, Annie.
- Dylan.
1531
01:19:24,343 --> 01:19:26,391
I don't think the three-point line
would have done anything.
1532
01:19:26,470 --> 01:19:28,268
- He was taller than anyone alive.
- No, but it helped Kobe.
1533
01:19:28,347 --> 01:19:29,815
- Kobe Bryant is incredible.
- It helped him.
1534
01:19:29,890 --> 01:19:33,269
- You're men. You like sports. You're men.
- Scored 81 points. Please.
1535
01:19:33,352 --> 01:19:35,229
Hey! We were waiting for you.
1536
01:19:35,521 --> 01:19:36,943
I actually got a call from work.
1537
01:19:37,022 --> 01:19:38,740
I have to be on a red eye tonight
back to New York.
1538
01:19:39,066 --> 01:19:40,488
- Tonight?
- Yeah.
1539
01:19:40,859 --> 01:19:42,827
- Tomorrow's the 4th.
- I know, it sucks.
1540
01:19:43,070 --> 01:19:44,367
Well, at least let me
drive you to the airport.
1541
01:19:44,488 --> 01:19:47,492
No, no. It's fine. Stay.
I already called a cab. It's out front.
1542
01:19:47,574 --> 01:19:49,622
But thank you guys for everything.
1543
01:19:49,702 --> 01:19:52,501
And thank you for letting me stay here.
It's been pretty great.
1544
01:19:55,749 --> 01:19:56,921
- Hey.
- Hey.
1545
01:19:57,001 --> 01:19:59,925
- Everything okay, buddy?
- Yeah, buddy. Everything's great.
1546
01:20:00,004 --> 01:20:01,347
I just really gotta go.
1547
01:20:01,672 --> 01:20:05,302
So, thank you again.
I'm sorry I gotta go.
1548
01:20:05,384 --> 01:20:07,102
- Let Dylan drive you.
- Yeah.
1549
01:20:07,177 --> 01:20:10,021
- Do you wanna take some food to go?
- Do you want me to saw you in half?
1550
01:20:10,180 --> 01:20:13,434
You can send your bottom part to
New York and your top half can stay here.
1551
01:20:14,893 --> 01:20:17,897
Or the whole of you could stay.
1552
01:20:18,022 --> 01:20:19,740
Okay, I'm sorry. I gotta go.
1553
01:20:32,119 --> 01:20:33,541
Jamie!
1554
01:20:41,045 --> 01:20:43,594
She's gone. She hopped in the cab.
1555
01:20:50,888 --> 01:20:53,266
- We should eat. You hungry, buddy?
- Yeah.
1556
01:20:53,640 --> 01:20:56,063
Okay. Hand me your plate.
1557
01:21:26,340 --> 01:21:29,184
Hey, bro. You hungry? 'Cause
I'm going to get something to eat.
1558
01:21:29,259 --> 01:21:32,263
Thanks, man. I think I'm just
gonna work through lunch.
1559
01:21:32,429 --> 01:21:37,526
A work ethic. I love it. That is
why this country is still number one.
1560
01:21:38,102 --> 01:21:41,857
Well, behind Germany and France
and Belgium and Japan and China and...
1561
01:21:42,272 --> 01:21:44,525
Thank God for Bangladesh.
1562
01:21:45,275 --> 01:21:48,779
By the way, why did you take
your door off its lovely hinges?
1563
01:21:48,862 --> 01:21:51,285
It was dumb, man. Something
I saw in a management book.
1564
01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:55,203
Oh, right, right. Like, that's
how Warren Buffett got rich.
1565
01:21:55,285 --> 01:21:57,037
He took doors off of things.
1566
01:21:57,121 --> 01:21:59,123
Hey, everybody wants
a shortcut in life.
1567
01:21:59,206 --> 01:22:02,050
My guidebook is very simple.
You wanna lose weight?
1568
01:22:02,209 --> 01:22:03,381
Stop eating, fatty.
1569
01:22:03,502 --> 01:22:04,628
You wanna make money?
1570
01:22:04,711 --> 01:22:06,713
Work your ass off, lazy.
1571
01:22:06,797 --> 01:22:07,923
You wanna be happy?
1572
01:22:08,006 --> 01:22:10,225
Find someone you like
and never let him go.
1573
01:22:10,467 --> 01:22:13,471
Or her, if you're into
that Kind of creepy shit.
1574
01:22:26,316 --> 01:22:28,819
Hi, you've reached Jamie Rellis.
I can't pick up the phone right now
1575
01:22:28,902 --> 01:22:31,496
but please leave a message
and I'll call you back.
1576
01:22:38,662 --> 01:22:41,666
Mom, Mom, you gotta point it at the
screen. You gotta tell it where you are.
1577
01:22:42,332 --> 01:22:45,711
Fine. I'm over here
pouring myself a drink.
1578
01:22:49,756 --> 01:22:53,181
Booty call. I can take a
walk around the block.
1579
01:22:53,260 --> 01:22:55,854
No, no. Nope, that's okay.
1580
01:22:55,929 --> 01:22:57,681
This is your apartment.
I don't wanna twat-block you.
1581
01:23:00,684 --> 01:23:02,527
That's Dylan, right?
1582
01:23:02,686 --> 01:23:04,484
- He seemed pretty great.
- You met him once.
1583
01:23:04,563 --> 01:23:06,406
Well, that's more than
anybody else you've dated.
1584
01:23:06,690 --> 01:23:09,694
I don't know, you think maybe I keep
my worlds apart for some crazy reason?
1585
01:23:20,871 --> 01:23:23,374
I am an asshole.
1586
01:23:24,041 --> 01:23:27,136
We're looking for someone to
lead the redesign of our entire website.
1587
01:23:27,211 --> 01:23:28,963
Someone to turn it
completely upside down.
1588
01:23:29,046 --> 01:23:30,798
But you can't tell me
what company you work for?
1589
01:23:30,881 --> 01:23:33,430
For confidentiality reasons, no.
1590
01:23:33,550 --> 01:23:34,767
Can you give me a hint?
1591
01:23:34,885 --> 01:23:38,890
We may or may not be the largest seller
of purchased goods on the Internet.
1592
01:23:38,972 --> 01:23:41,316
And by 'purchased goods'
I mean books.
1593
01:23:41,725 --> 01:23:44,319
You just placed the new art
director over at GQ, right?
1594
01:23:44,394 --> 01:23:45,441
Yeah.
1595
01:23:45,562 --> 01:23:48,441
That's the type of guy we want.
Shoot, that's the guy we want.
1596
01:23:48,565 --> 01:23:49,566
Can you get him to come out to us?
1597
01:23:50,400 --> 01:23:52,994
No longer have a
relationship with him.
1598
01:23:53,111 --> 01:23:55,955
- Can you get to him?
- He's still in the first year of his contract,
1599
01:23:56,073 --> 01:23:58,496
so that would be inappropriate.
1600
01:23:58,575 --> 01:24:00,669
So is paying full price
for a book at Barnes & Noble,
1601
01:24:00,744 --> 01:24:01,916
but people do dumb shit.
1602
01:24:05,582 --> 01:24:08,085
Hi, you've reached Jamie Rellis.
I can't pick up the phone right now
1603
01:24:08,168 --> 01:24:10,262
but please leave a message
and I'll call you back.
1604
01:24:10,420 --> 01:24:13,424
Wow, right to voice mail.
Didn't even ring.
1605
01:24:25,686 --> 01:24:26,938
Jamie.
1606
01:24:28,855 --> 01:24:31,153
How'd you know I was up here?
1607
01:24:32,442 --> 01:24:34,285
Only place in the city
you don't get reception.
1608
01:24:34,361 --> 01:24:35,613
Right.
1609
01:24:35,779 --> 01:24:37,873
- Why are you avoiding me?
- I'm not.
1610
01:24:38,156 --> 01:24:40,124
Really? Come on, Jamie.
1611
01:24:40,284 --> 01:24:44,289
Well, Dylan, I don't know if you've
heard, but I am seriously fucked up.
1612
01:24:44,997 --> 01:24:48,968
I mean, Magnum P.I. couldn't solve
the shit going on up here.
1613
01:24:49,960 --> 01:24:52,258
- Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
- But I'm just gonna go
1614
01:24:52,337 --> 01:24:55,637
and try to fix the shit going on up
in my head, if that's even possible.
1615
01:24:56,300 --> 01:25:00,021
I shouldn't have said that. I was
just trying to get my sister off my back.
1616
01:25:00,137 --> 01:25:02,356
- She thought we liked each other.
- Yeah, me, too, Dylan.
1617
01:25:02,472 --> 01:25:03,473
I thought we were friends.
1618
01:25:03,557 --> 01:25:06,151
But friends don't go
talking shit about each other,
1619
01:25:06,226 --> 01:25:09,605
which must mean that you and I
were actually never friends.
1620
01:25:09,688 --> 01:25:13,113
- That all you wanted was to get in my pants.
- What?
1621
01:25:13,191 --> 01:25:15,410
You jumped at the chance
at your dad's house.
1622
01:25:15,485 --> 01:25:16,577
You cracked your neck.
1623
01:25:16,653 --> 01:25:18,781
I thought you were giving me
a sign. We talked about this.
1624
01:25:18,864 --> 01:25:20,207
Oh, my God, really?
1625
01:25:20,324 --> 01:25:22,577
You pulled my robe off.
"Oopsy." Remember?
1626
01:25:22,659 --> 01:25:24,878
Yeah. And then you
snuck out of the room.
1627
01:25:24,995 --> 01:25:26,167
"Oopsy." Remember that?
1628
01:25:27,164 --> 01:25:30,168
Are you pissed off at me
because I didn't cuddle?
1629
01:25:32,002 --> 01:25:36,098
Isn't that why we started this
whole arrangement in the first place?
1630
01:25:36,256 --> 01:25:37,929
You wanted this.
1631
01:25:40,594 --> 01:25:42,187
I wanted this?
1632
01:25:43,221 --> 01:25:44,518
Just me?
1633
01:25:44,848 --> 01:25:48,148
God, you are just like
every other guy.
1634
01:25:48,226 --> 01:25:51,025
The sad thing is, Dylan, I actually
thought you were different.
1635
01:25:51,104 --> 01:25:53,357
Different from what? I'm not
your boyfriend, I'm your friend.
1636
01:25:54,191 --> 01:25:56,364
Well, with friends like you,
who needs friends?
1637
01:25:59,112 --> 01:26:03,538
And thank you for
ruining my mountaintop.
1638
01:26:04,409 --> 01:26:05,706
Asshole.
1639
01:26:12,626 --> 01:26:14,594
Hey, man, you can't be up here.
1640
01:26:15,462 --> 01:26:16,634
Okay.
1641
01:26:16,922 --> 01:26:19,596
- You okay?
- I'm fine.
1642
01:26:46,243 --> 01:26:48,291
Bryce, is this for me?
1643
01:26:48,578 --> 01:26:50,956
Yeah. And so is this.
1644
01:26:51,331 --> 01:26:53,925
Madison, will you many me?
1645
01:26:54,251 --> 01:26:56,174
You bet your ass, Flapjack!
1646
01:26:58,422 --> 01:27:00,675
- I love New York.
- I love you.
1647
01:27:01,425 --> 01:27:03,302
Oh, my God.
Look, the Empire State Building.
1648
01:27:03,510 --> 01:27:04,682
Wow.
1649
01:27:04,761 --> 01:27:06,354
Oh, look, the Statue of Liberty.
1650
01:27:13,687 --> 01:27:15,109
Hello, this is Jamie.
1651
01:27:16,940 --> 01:27:18,863
What do you mean
they went to him directly?
1652
01:27:19,943 --> 01:27:21,445
Well, is he gonna take it?
1653
01:27:21,611 --> 01:27:24,706
No, no, no, no, no. I'll handle it.
I'll call him right now.
1654
01:27:24,781 --> 01:27:25,953
Okay.
1655
01:27:29,703 --> 01:27:31,455
Hey this is Dylan.
Leave a message.
1656
01:27:39,838 --> 01:27:41,511
Excuse me. May I help you?
1657
01:27:41,715 --> 01:27:43,763
Oh, hi. Where's Dylan Harper?
1658
01:27:43,842 --> 01:27:45,469
He's at a photo shoot
for the sports issue.
1659
01:27:45,969 --> 01:27:49,223
That's right. The photo shoot.
Where was that again?
1660
01:27:49,473 --> 01:27:50,565
I'm sorry. Who are you?
1661
01:27:51,308 --> 01:27:52,480
One of the models.
1662
01:27:53,185 --> 01:27:55,313
I have the perfect
body for Photoshop.
1663
01:27:55,812 --> 01:27:59,407
Yeah, this gets more angular,
these get longer,
1664
01:27:59,524 --> 01:28:01,822
and this gets way more Christian.
1665
01:28:02,319 --> 01:28:04,413
So where did you say he was again?
1666
01:28:05,489 --> 01:28:08,868
Sports is the last chance we have
of bringing our world together, bro.
1667
01:28:09,034 --> 01:28:12,083
So I just wanted to shoot
some photos that speak to that,
1668
01:28:12,162 --> 01:28:14,540
to the unification of all
people through sports.
1669
01:28:14,664 --> 01:28:16,041
Okay, guys. Let's go.
1670
01:28:16,666 --> 01:28:17,838
That's it.
1671
01:28:18,376 --> 01:28:19,593
Beautiful.
1672
01:28:19,753 --> 01:28:21,471
Okay, now put your
arms around each other,
1673
01:28:21,546 --> 01:28:23,890
like you like each other,
like you love each other.
1674
01:28:24,257 --> 01:28:26,510
- Too gay?
- A little bit.
1675
01:28:26,760 --> 01:28:28,888
Throw some girls in there.
1676
01:28:29,012 --> 01:28:31,356
Come on, ladies. Hop to.
1677
01:28:32,933 --> 01:28:36,233
Girls, girls. Okay, look.
Just blend in.
1678
01:28:36,686 --> 01:28:38,905
Okay, let's go boy, girl, boy...
1679
01:28:39,022 --> 01:28:40,865
- Dylan.
- ...boy, boy, boy, boys.
1680
01:28:41,691 --> 01:28:43,534
- What are you doing here?
- You met for another job!
1681
01:28:43,610 --> 01:28:46,363
- What, are you gonna leave now?
- I don't know. Yeah, I took one meeting.
1682
01:28:46,446 --> 01:28:48,869
- I can't believe you.
- Come here.
1683
01:28:49,908 --> 01:28:52,002
- Is this your way of getting back at me?
- What?
1684
01:28:52,077 --> 01:28:54,205
You know that if you leave
before a year is up, I get screwed.
1685
01:28:54,454 --> 01:28:55,922
Oh, right.
1686
01:28:56,039 --> 01:28:57,256
If I did leave,
1687
01:28:57,374 --> 01:29:00,173
which I don't know yet because
all I did was take one meeting,
1688
01:29:00,252 --> 01:29:02,095
I'd write you a check
for your bonus.
1689
01:29:03,380 --> 01:29:05,758
Whatever it is, I'll pay for it.
Happy now? We good?
1690
01:29:06,049 --> 01:29:08,222
- Why didn't you tell me you were looking?
- That's personal.
1691
01:29:08,301 --> 01:29:10,599
And we're not friends any more.
You made that pretty clear.
1692
01:29:12,138 --> 01:29:15,813
See, all I wanted to do
was have sex with you. Remember?
1693
01:29:16,560 --> 01:29:18,153
Pretend you were the best
friend I'd ever had.
1694
01:29:18,228 --> 01:29:20,071
Open up to you like I've
never done with anyone ever.
1695
01:29:20,397 --> 01:29:23,742
And then when the sex stopped,
invite you to LA for the weekend
1696
01:29:25,318 --> 01:29:26,786
to introduce you to my family.
1697
01:29:28,321 --> 01:29:30,744
- I'll send you a check if I take the job.
- Don't bother.
1698
01:29:35,787 --> 01:29:37,835
Why don't you pick him up?
1699
01:29:38,248 --> 01:29:40,842
Yeah. Just pick him on up.
1700
01:29:41,126 --> 01:29:43,254
Oh, you little Christ figure, you!
1701
01:30:07,444 --> 01:30:09,788
- Hey, Dyl.
- Dad's coming into Newark Airport, right?
1702
01:30:09,863 --> 01:30:11,615
Yeah, he leaves at 9:00 our time.
1703
01:30:11,781 --> 01:30:14,625
9:00. So it's a five-hour flight,
three-hour time difference,
1704
01:30:14,701 --> 01:30:17,329
so he gets in at 32:00
1705
01:30:17,454 --> 01:30:20,458
5:00. Be there at 5:00, Dylan.
1706
01:30:20,707 --> 01:30:22,675
Right. How is Dad?
1707
01:30:24,336 --> 01:30:26,839
He's lost more often than not now.
1708
01:30:26,963 --> 01:30:29,967
But then he has these moments
of real clarity. It's hit or miss.
1709
01:30:30,050 --> 01:30:31,222
- Okay.
- How's Jamie?
1710
01:30:33,720 --> 01:30:35,313
- That's over.
- Oh, Dylan!
1711
01:30:35,472 --> 01:30:38,521
- Okay, we're done.
- Don't be an idiot, please.
1712
01:30:38,642 --> 01:30:40,986
Thank you, Annie. I'll pick up
Dad tomorrow at the airport.
1713
01:30:41,061 --> 01:30:42,813
- 32:00 sharp.
- I love you.
1714
01:30:46,483 --> 01:30:47,860
I don't know what it is.
1715
01:30:47,984 --> 01:30:50,487
I just can't get myself to start
looking for a replacement for him,
1716
01:30:50,570 --> 01:30:51,662
assuming that he leaves.
1717
01:30:51,738 --> 01:30:54,958
- Do you want some motherly love advice?
- Not really.
1718
01:30:55,033 --> 01:30:56,785
Oh, good, 'cause I don't know
how to do that.
1719
01:30:56,868 --> 01:31:00,463
What I do know is that
it's no great goddamn secret
1720
01:31:00,538 --> 01:31:03,257
you live in fear of
repeating my mistakes.
1721
01:31:03,333 --> 01:31:05,427
And you're not wrong,
so learn from me.
1722
01:31:05,669 --> 01:31:08,673
Do you know how many men in
my life I thought were really perfect?
1723
01:31:08,880 --> 01:31:10,006
- Eighty.
- One.
1724
01:31:10,173 --> 01:31:11,846
- Eighty-one?
- One.
1725
01:31:12,050 --> 01:31:14,519
It was your dad.
Greatest man I ever met.
1726
01:31:14,594 --> 01:31:16,267
Obviously. Look at you.
1727
01:31:16,346 --> 01:31:19,566
How smart you are, how great,
how funny, how driven.
1728
01:31:19,683 --> 01:31:21,026
Your vaguely Middle Eastern beauty.
1729
01:31:21,101 --> 01:31:23,854
Sure as hell didn't all come from me.
1730
01:31:24,187 --> 01:31:26,281
Okay, but, seriously, Mom,
1731
01:31:26,356 --> 01:31:28,700
do you really not remember
where my dad's from?
1732
01:31:28,900 --> 01:31:30,527
Or is it like a coping mechanism?
1733
01:31:30,610 --> 01:31:32,408
- A little of both.
- Okay.
1734
01:31:32,529 --> 01:31:35,032
But I'm pretty sure he's Eurasian.
1735
01:31:36,199 --> 01:31:39,874
I mean, we all have our Prince Charming,
you just gotta know him when you see him.
1736
01:31:40,036 --> 01:31:42,539
Mom, it's Prince Charming.
You should just know.
1737
01:31:42,622 --> 01:31:45,876
Well, your Prince Charming isn't coming
to rescue you in a horse and carriage.
1738
01:31:45,959 --> 01:31:47,632
That's not who you want.
1739
01:31:47,711 --> 01:31:51,636
I mean, you're looking for a man
to be your partner.
1740
01:31:52,549 --> 01:31:54,267
To take on the world with.
1741
01:31:54,384 --> 01:31:57,137
You gotta update
your fairytale, baby.
1742
01:31:57,762 --> 01:31:59,605
My Prince Charming?
1743
01:32:00,306 --> 01:32:01,649
You.
1744
01:32:01,808 --> 01:32:02,900
Mom.
1745
01:32:25,165 --> 01:32:28,760
- Hey.
- A wheelchair. Like I'm an invalid.
1746
01:32:28,918 --> 01:32:30,465
- How was the flight?
- I'm hungry.
1747
01:32:30,587 --> 01:32:32,305
You know they don't serve food
in coach any more?
1748
01:32:32,422 --> 01:32:34,675
You'd think with these new planes,
they practically fly themselves,
1749
01:32:34,758 --> 01:32:37,307
they could get rid of a pilot
and use his salary for a hot lunch.
1750
01:32:37,427 --> 01:32:39,850
- I know, right? Let's get you some food.
- God.
1751
01:32:40,305 --> 01:32:42,524
The engineering on these planes
is so advanced.
1752
01:32:42,599 --> 01:32:43,816
Completely computerized.
1753
01:32:43,933 --> 01:32:45,935
- It's like playing a video game.
- Exactly.
1754
01:32:46,102 --> 01:32:48,946
God. How long have we been
waiting here? It's ridiculous.
1755
01:32:49,105 --> 01:32:51,153
I'll be right back, okay?
1756
01:32:53,943 --> 01:32:55,991
Excuse me.
We've been waiting a while.
1757
01:32:56,112 --> 01:32:57,785
- Harper.
- Yeah, I got you. I got you.
1758
01:32:57,864 --> 01:32:59,491
I have to seat people
in the order they came.
1759
01:32:59,616 --> 01:33:01,539
I totally understand that,
but I'm with my dad
1760
01:33:01,618 --> 01:33:03,495
- and he's not in the best shape.
- I'm sorry.
1761
01:33:03,661 --> 01:33:05,459
Is there no way we could,
like, squeeze a table?
1762
01:33:05,830 --> 01:33:08,379
No, I gotta go by the list. Sorry.
1763
01:33:12,295 --> 01:33:13,467
Dad?
1764
01:33:20,303 --> 01:33:21,475
Dad?
1765
01:33:22,806 --> 01:33:24,308
Shit. Dad?
1766
01:33:37,028 --> 01:33:38,496
You gonna join me?
1767
01:33:48,206 --> 01:33:49,833
Absolutely.
1768
01:33:54,546 --> 01:33:56,344
Excuse me, sir.
I'm sorry, you cannot do this.
1769
01:33:56,422 --> 01:33:58,641
Could I get a steak,
medium, please?
1770
01:33:58,716 --> 01:34:00,684
- Sir, this is the Daily Grill.
- Make that two.
1771
01:34:09,853 --> 01:34:11,230
Dede? Dede!
1772
01:34:20,196 --> 01:34:21,368
Dad.
1773
01:34:21,865 --> 01:34:23,208
Dad.
1774
01:34:27,036 --> 01:34:28,128
Who is Dede?
1775
01:34:28,913 --> 01:34:33,214
Jesus. She's just a girl
that I met in the Navy.
1776
01:34:34,294 --> 01:34:35,716
Was...
1777
01:34:38,214 --> 01:34:39,807
She was the love of my life.
1778
01:34:41,384 --> 01:34:42,431
Okay?
1779
01:34:43,553 --> 01:34:44,896
Why didn't you tell
me about her before?
1780
01:34:45,054 --> 01:34:47,898
This is not something you
discuss with your children.
1781
01:34:47,974 --> 01:34:50,853
And besides, I have you and Annie.
I have no regrets.
1782
01:34:50,935 --> 01:34:51,982
So tell me now.
1783
01:34:54,230 --> 01:34:55,607
She was the love of my life.
1784
01:34:55,732 --> 01:34:56,984
And I was too stupid to realize it,
1785
01:34:57,066 --> 01:35:00,161
and I lost her because of something
so dumb I don't even remember.
1786
01:35:00,904 --> 01:35:02,326
And I never really got over her.
1787
01:35:02,906 --> 01:35:06,661
And I think that may be one
of the reasons your mom left.
1788
01:35:07,911 --> 01:35:11,461
You know, my friends used to say that
when Dede and I looked at each other,
1789
01:35:11,581 --> 01:35:12,753
it was electric.
1790
01:35:12,832 --> 01:35:14,084
And I let her go.
1791
01:35:14,500 --> 01:35:15,843
I just let her go.
1792
01:35:15,919 --> 01:35:19,469
Because I was too damn proud
to tell her how I really felt about her.
1793
01:35:20,173 --> 01:35:22,767
I'll tell you something that I wish
I knew when I was your age.
1794
01:35:22,926 --> 01:35:24,769
And I know you've heard
a million times, "life is short."
1795
01:35:24,844 --> 01:35:28,439
But let me tell you something,
what this is teaching me
1796
01:35:28,514 --> 01:35:31,643
is that life is goddamn short
and you can't waste a minute of it.
1797
01:35:34,270 --> 01:35:36,113
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
1798
01:35:40,610 --> 01:35:44,456
The girl I brought
home to LA, Jamie?
1799
01:35:44,530 --> 01:35:47,204
- Yeah, what's going on with her?
- I think I messed it up.
1800
01:35:47,700 --> 01:35:49,293
- Fix it.
- She won't talk to me.
1801
01:35:49,619 --> 01:35:51,747
Maybe she'll listen.
There's always a way.
1802
01:35:51,829 --> 01:35:56,505
If you think there's even a chance
that she could be it, you fix it.
1803
01:35:58,628 --> 01:35:59,880
Did Annie put you up to this?
1804
01:36:00,630 --> 01:36:01,802
Who's Annie?
1805
01:36:02,340 --> 01:36:03,512
I'm kidding.
1806
01:36:03,633 --> 01:36:05,931
What, I can't joke about this?
1807
01:36:06,010 --> 01:36:08,513
- Jesus Christ, Dad.
- I don't know what else to do.
1808
01:36:10,348 --> 01:36:11,474
Let's go.
1809
01:36:11,849 --> 01:36:13,897
You don't want to
finish your steak?
1810
01:36:13,977 --> 01:36:16,856
We're eating in the goddamn airport.
I can leave the steak. Come on.
1811
01:36:17,355 --> 01:36:21,326
Yeah, hey, this is Dylan Harper from GQ.
We met a few weeks ago at the...
1812
01:36:21,401 --> 01:36:23,870
Right. Hey, can I ask
you a huge favor?
1813
01:36:24,195 --> 01:36:26,664
- I am so sorry, sir.
- It's my fault.
1814
01:36:26,739 --> 01:36:28,286
- You just scared me.
- No, no. My fault. You all right?
1815
01:36:28,366 --> 01:36:29,868
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Here, let me help you with that.
1816
01:36:29,993 --> 01:36:32,587
- Thanks, man. You're really nice.
- All right. Hey, safe travels.
1817
01:36:32,662 --> 01:36:34,164
- All right, thanks, man.
- Okay, thank you.
1818
01:36:34,914 --> 01:36:38,760
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
All right, let's dance, Clowny Brown.
1819
01:36:38,918 --> 01:36:41,592
- What's your problem with me?
- I saw you at that bar with Jamie.
1820
01:36:41,838 --> 01:36:45,433
How could such an awesome girl
be with this over this?
1821
01:36:46,175 --> 01:36:49,019
I've been trying to take that little
monkey to pound-town for years.
1822
01:36:49,512 --> 01:36:51,355
- I'll tell her you say hello.
- What?
1823
01:36:51,556 --> 01:36:53,604
You missed a little. There you go.
1824
01:36:53,683 --> 01:36:55,356
Dylan! I got a cab. Come on.
1825
01:36:55,435 --> 01:36:56,857
I ever run into you again,
1826
01:36:56,936 --> 01:36:59,359
I'll crush your earlobes
and make soup stock out of them.
1827
01:36:59,522 --> 01:37:01,524
- You have a vivid imagination.
- I do!
1828
01:37:01,607 --> 01:37:03,951
- I'm gonna get in the cab now.
- I'm gonna go make soup!
1829
01:37:04,027 --> 01:37:05,904
- What's the matter with her?
- I don't know.
1830
01:37:10,033 --> 01:37:13,378
God! I thought LA was bad.
This traffic is terrible.
1831
01:37:13,536 --> 01:37:14,788
Is there another way into the city?
1832
01:37:25,214 --> 01:37:27,308
I owe you big time, Tommy.
1833
01:37:27,383 --> 01:37:31,763
You'll make it up to me. Actually,
I was heading into town anyway.
1834
01:37:32,263 --> 01:37:36,564
Tonight's the Butterfly Ball.
Great place to pick up dudes.
1835
01:37:36,726 --> 01:37:38,899
- You okay, Dad?
- Are you kidding?
1836
01:37:39,062 --> 01:37:42,362
1937 Chris-Craft?
Couldn't get any better, buddy.
1837
01:37:42,440 --> 01:37:43,566
Nice.
1838
01:37:45,818 --> 01:37:47,991
Yeah. Hi, this is Dylan.
We met at...
1839
01:37:48,071 --> 01:37:51,166
Right. Can I ask you a huge favor?
1840
01:37:55,661 --> 01:37:58,005
My number. Here's the remote.
1841
01:37:58,247 --> 01:38:01,421
My friend Dave from across the hall, his
oven broke, so he'll be using the kitchen.
1842
01:38:01,501 --> 01:38:04,846
Your friend Dave is here using
the kitchen or watching me?
1843
01:38:05,254 --> 01:38:06,597
Go.
1844
01:38:06,756 --> 01:38:08,303
- Holy...
- What?
1845
01:38:08,424 --> 01:38:10,267
"How to wear white
pants to a cookout."
1846
01:38:10,426 --> 01:38:13,521
Did you scoop the Times on this?
I smell Pulitzer.
1847
01:38:14,097 --> 01:38:15,314
All right, all right.
1848
01:38:15,431 --> 01:38:16,853
Just say hello to her
for me, will you?
1849
01:38:17,850 --> 01:38:19,272
See you, Dad.
1850
01:38:20,603 --> 01:38:21,775
Thanks, man.
1851
01:38:22,146 --> 01:38:23,693
Hi, Dave from across the hall.
1852
01:38:23,773 --> 01:38:27,494
Hi, Mr. Harper. How are you?
1853
01:38:28,361 --> 01:38:29,954
And now we know why you're here.
1854
01:38:30,947 --> 01:38:34,542
Mom, I'm over by the Lexington
exit. Where are you?
1855
01:38:34,617 --> 01:38:36,745
I'm standing right by
the guy in the tie.
1856
01:38:36,828 --> 01:38:40,503
- There are a million guys in ties.
- So look for the guy I'm standing next to.
1857
01:38:40,623 --> 01:38:43,467
You never do what you say you're
gonna do. When am I gonna learn?
1858
01:38:43,668 --> 01:38:45,170
Just hang on, baby.
1859
01:38:49,799 --> 01:38:50,891
What?
1860
01:38:53,219 --> 01:38:55,142
I don't think I'm gonna be able
to make it after all.
1861
01:38:55,221 --> 01:38:57,349
Something came up.
Let's meet tomorrow.
1862
01:38:57,473 --> 01:39:00,568
I'll be on the stairs.
Right across from you.
1863
01:39:05,022 --> 01:39:06,490
Oh, my God.
1864
01:39:06,858 --> 01:39:08,326
Have a great night, baby.
1865
01:39:27,712 --> 01:39:29,259
What is this?
1866
01:39:29,380 --> 01:39:32,054
It's Closing Time,
by the band Semisonic!
1867
01:39:32,341 --> 01:39:34,639
It's not Third Eye Blind.
Can you believe that?
1868
01:39:34,719 --> 01:39:37,518
No, no, no. Not the song. This.
1869
01:39:37,722 --> 01:39:39,724
You said you wanted your life
to be like a movie.
1870
01:39:40,683 --> 01:39:44,278
Sorry I had to use the real
Grand Central instead of the fake one.
1871
01:39:51,027 --> 01:39:52,119
Listen, Jamie, I'm...
1872
01:39:52,195 --> 01:39:54,368
I'm having trouble hearing you!
1873
01:39:54,447 --> 01:39:56,324
Yeah, I didn't really
think this through.
1874
01:39:56,407 --> 01:39:58,751
I guess in the movies
the guy pours his heart out
1875
01:39:58,868 --> 01:40:00,245
and they put the music in later.
1876
01:40:00,411 --> 01:40:01,583
What?
1877
01:40:04,874 --> 01:40:06,046
I messed up.
1878
01:40:07,043 --> 01:40:08,545
I was scared.
1879
01:40:09,378 --> 01:40:11,096
Look at what happened
with my mom and my dad.
1880
01:40:11,214 --> 01:40:12,306
Of course I was scared.
1881
01:40:13,132 --> 01:40:14,554
So I ruined it.
1882
01:40:15,718 --> 01:40:17,516
Everything that
happens in the day,
1883
01:40:17,595 --> 01:40:20,769
all I can think to myself is,
"I can't wait to tell Jamie about this."
1884
01:40:21,766 --> 01:40:24,895
When I see someone cursing,
all I picture is you blinking.
1885
01:40:25,728 --> 01:40:30,325
And when I hear a kid's been cured of
cancer, I pray it's not by that douchebag,
1886
01:40:30,399 --> 01:40:33,323
tree-hugging fucking doctor
who ran out on you.
1887
01:40:33,569 --> 01:40:37,949
I mean, cancer being cured is awesome,
but, you know, I wish someone else did it.
1888
01:40:38,824 --> 01:40:40,121
Come on.
1889
01:40:45,081 --> 01:40:47,425
Hey, I miss you.
1890
01:40:47,583 --> 01:40:49,426
Yeah, I miss you, too.
1891
01:40:49,627 --> 01:40:51,595
But you're not wrong,
I am damaged.
1892
01:40:51,754 --> 01:40:53,973
So am I. Who isn't?
1893
01:40:54,257 --> 01:40:56,134
That's what makes us so awesome.
1894
01:40:56,259 --> 01:40:57,932
- And our tattoos.
- Yeah.
1895
01:41:00,096 --> 01:41:02,599
- No, no, no.
- Shut up. It's not what you think.
1896
01:41:03,140 --> 01:41:05,609
Jamie, will you be my
best friend again?
1897
01:41:06,644 --> 01:41:08,942
- That is so lame.
- I know.
1898
01:41:10,106 --> 01:41:11,733
That's some Prince Charming
shit, though, right?
1899
01:41:11,816 --> 01:41:13,033
- Get up.
- Okay.
1900
01:41:14,610 --> 01:41:17,830
Look, I can live without
ever having sex with you again.
1901
01:41:18,197 --> 01:41:20,040
It'd be really hard.
1902
01:41:20,491 --> 01:41:23,335
Hey, I want my best friend back,
1903
01:41:23,619 --> 01:41:25,462
because I'm in love with her.
1904
01:41:26,330 --> 01:41:28,799
- Under one condition.
- Anything.
1905
01:41:30,626 --> 01:41:31,969
Kiss me.
1906
01:41:33,546 --> 01:41:36,174
- In public? In front of all these people?
- I did not ask you to...
1907
01:41:55,818 --> 01:41:57,820
You can all go home now.
1908
01:42:04,076 --> 01:42:06,044
Okay. So...
1909
01:42:08,998 --> 01:42:11,171
- What do we do now?
- Have our first date.
1910
01:42:11,542 --> 01:42:12,668
Okay.
1911
01:42:15,838 --> 01:42:18,933
Oh, my God! Did you get
a horse and carriage?
1912
01:42:20,009 --> 01:42:21,852
Yeah, that's not for you.
1913
01:42:22,053 --> 01:42:25,102
Oh, thank God. Horses actually
scare the shit out of me.
1914
01:42:25,264 --> 01:42:26,516
- Really?
- Yeah.
1915
01:42:26,682 --> 01:42:27,934
So, where are you from?
1916
01:42:28,017 --> 01:42:30,566
- Outside of Philly, actually.
- Interesting.
1917
01:42:30,770 --> 01:42:34,365
- I'm from LA, just moved to New York.
- Interesting. Didn't really ask, but go on.
1918
01:42:34,440 --> 01:42:37,740
What? I'm excited, I'm
on a first date. So...
1919
01:42:38,069 --> 01:42:40,242
This isn't weird at all.
1920
01:42:40,363 --> 01:42:42,536
- We're okay.
- Yeah. Thank you.
1921
01:42:44,909 --> 01:42:46,536
So...
1922
01:42:49,121 --> 01:42:50,714
Yeah, fuck it.
1923
01:49:01,910 --> 01:49:05,665
Roll credits, roll credits, roll credits.
And here come the outtakes.
1924
01:49:06,081 --> 01:49:09,426
Because if the actors had a good
time making it, it must be good.
1925
01:49:09,585 --> 01:49:11,428
You bet your ass, Jason.
1926
01:49:12,004 --> 01:49:14,427
Oh, my God, I just called him Jason.
1927
01:49:14,506 --> 01:49:16,258
Look, the crew's laughing.
1928
01:49:17,259 --> 01:49:20,138
They made me do it!
They made me do it.
1929
01:49:20,804 --> 01:49:22,272
It's my favorite part.
142898